Latest / FINE is a 4-Letter Word / 6. (S1E6) Wait, You Mean, This Isn’t How Marriage Is Supposed To Be? with Courtney Boles

Transcript

6. (S1E6) Wait, You Mean, This Isn’t How Marriage Is Supposed To Be? with Courtney Boles · FINE is a 4-Letter Word

• 0:02
  Hello, and welcome to fine is a four-letter word.
• 0:05
  My guest today is Courtney Boles and I'm so excited to hear Courtney's story
• 0:10
  because when we did our pre-interview chat,
• 0:13
  I actually did not hear Courtney's story.
• 0:16
  She said she was going to save it for us to chat about here.
• 0:18
  So welcome Courtney.
• 0:20
  Hi, thank you for having me.
• 0:22
  Yeah, my pleasure.
• 0:23
  So I like to start out by asking what the beliefs were that were
• 0:28
  instilled in you as a child that led, that may have led,
• 0:32
  to some of the decisions that you made as an adult.
• 0:35
  So tell me about what was childhood like and what beliefs were
• 0:40
  overtly or maybe, um, you know,
• 0:43
  just the things that you picked up as you were growing up.
• 0:45
  Sure. Um,
• 0:46
  I was raised in the South and mama was a Sunday school teacher and daddy was a
• 0:50
  deacon at a Southern Baptist church. And so I learned to be a good little girl.
• 0:56
  Um, I was, you know, a straight a student.
• 0:59
  I got the award and kindergarten that my mom still brags about for always doing
• 1:03
  what she knows is right. But somewhere along the way,
• 1:06
  it veered off into a bad direction. The church sort of lost its way,
• 1:10
  unfortunately, and became very legalistic. And that combined with my mind,
• 1:15
  which tends to work in an all or nothing direction,
• 1:17
  put me on a track of thinking.
• 1:20
  I had to earn things and that if I just work harder, everything would be okay.
• 1:26
  The work harder trap.
• 1:29
  For example, over my bed. And like when I was eight years old,
• 1:33
  there was a sign that said, joy. Jesus, others, you.
• 1:37
  And I,
• 1:39
  as a wide-eyed eight year old in my frilly Sunday school dress took that to be a
• 1:43
  list of importance.
• 1:45
  Mmm hmm, that's what I just thought of when you said it.
• 1:48
  Because it was stacked in that order,
• 1:49
  which meant that everybody else comes first all the time.
• 1:53
  You are dead last and what you want doesn't matter, you know,
• 1:57
  and that's not the point of the sign.
• 1:58
  The point of the sign was probably to love all of those people on that list and
• 2:02
  you would have joy, but that's not how I got it.
• 2:06
  Well, it's interesting that that's what, when you just described it,
• 2:08
  that's what I thought too. Yeah.
• 2:10
  I mean, it was a list.
• 2:12
  Right, right. And so how did that play out?
• 2:16
  Well,
• 2:16
  that played out in me trying to follow the path that was laid in front of me and
• 2:20
  be as good as I possibly could be.
• 2:22
  But it was a struggle because apparently,
• 2:25
  or at least from what they would say in public,
• 2:28
  my friends were just naturally good. And I was like,
• 2:31
  but I want to touch that boy.
• 2:36
  Right? Yeah. I'm human.
• 2:41
  Right. So that became a challenge. And then when I didn't,
• 2:45
  I didn't have the same experiences they did.
• 2:47
  And so then I really started to feel like I'm an outsider.
• 2:50
  And when you're faced with that,
• 2:52
  there's either two choices for you to think either God isn't real.
• 2:56
  And the whole thing doesn't work. Like I think it does,
• 2:58
  or something's wrong with me. I don't have a relationship with God.
• 3:03
  Like everybody else talks about,
• 3:04
  or I don't want to do the right things because something's wrong with me.
• 3:08
  Okay. So wait,
• 3:09
  your friends didn't want to touch boys or did they,
• 3:14
  did you have this perception that they were better or different and they really
• 3:18
  weren't like that? Or were they really like that?
• 3:21
  You know what Lori, to this day, some of them, I'm not sure. They, like,
• 3:25
  we never got to the point of circling back around as 40 something year olds and
• 3:29
  saying, Hey, and some of them I really think were like, no,
• 3:32
  I'm I wanted to do the right things. They were that earnest and awesome.
• 3:38
  Okay. All right. I would ask because some of the other interviews I've done,
• 3:41
  I did an interview with one of my college friends and we talked about how we
• 3:46
  thought and felt back then and that how our perceptions of ourselves were
• 3:50
  so different than the perceptions of the other people that we were hanging out
• 3:54
  with. So I was just curious if that was your experience too.
• 3:57
  I suspect that I idealized them and that the struggles they had were probably
• 4:02
  minimized.
• 4:03
  Yeah. we tend to do that. Especially as young adults.
• 4:06
  Minimize and then amplify our own defects or
• 4:10
  perceived defects. Yeah.
• 4:12
  So then you went to university of Florida, go Gators.
• 4:19
  Exactly. And I got an education, but.
• 4:24
  I'm sure you did. I've heard.
• 4:27
  I never got a degree, But I got an education.
• 4:30
  Sometimes that is far more important a lot of times.
• 4:35
  Indeed. Yeah. So yeah,
• 4:37
  I went to Florida and I discovered that people could be good and not
• 4:42
  legalistically Christian and that kind of rocked my world.
• 4:45
  And so really I went through a big rebellious phase, broke away, um,
• 4:49
  stopped doing all of it. And then I plummeted into a major depression.
• 4:55
  My parents came and got me. I went, moved back home, went up to the local,
• 4:59
  Walmart, met a boy I'd known before and ended up marrying him.
• 5:03
  Wow. okay. So I, yeah, cause I did not hear this part of the story. This is,
• 5:07
  this is where it gets good.
• 5:08
  Yeah.
• 5:11
  So probably when I was in one of the worst mental States I've ever been was when
• 5:15
  I met and started dating him and it was sort of like, he's fine.
• 5:20
  This is fine. He's not crazy. He's got a stable family. Like,
• 5:25
  is he everything I ever wanted in a man? No, but he's fine.
• 5:29
  And had you even decided what it really was that you did want in a man? I mean,
• 5:33
  at that age, we don't really know.
• 5:34
  No. Cause I knew it.
• 5:37
  I had had it laid out in front of me the entire time I was a child.
• 5:40
  You want this Christian man, who's gonna blah, blah, blah. And then I was like,
• 5:43
  well, I don't know that I want that.
• 5:44
  And then I was at that phase where you don't know what you want. So you're like,
• 5:47
  well this, I don't know what I want, but that looks okay.
• 5:50
  Yeah. That's what's here. I'll take it.
• 5:52
  Right. Narrator voice. It did not turn out. Okay.
• 6:00
  Awesome. All right. Well, so how long were you married to this fine person?
• 6:05
  15 Years.
• 6:07
  It took me a really long time to realize everything was not fine.
• 6:10
  So yeah, that's what I was going to ask you next is,
• 6:13
  was everything fine for a while? And then all of a sudden it wasn't,
• 6:17
  it was never fine. You just finally woke up. Correct. How did that happen?
• 6:25
  Um,
• 6:26
  basically I started talking to people and I finally started being honest
• 6:31
  about my life. Um, because during that 15 years, every once in a while,
• 6:35
  I'd see a therapist and they'd ask about my husband and I would gloss over
• 6:39
  because in the back of my mind, I knew if you get into this,
• 6:42
  they're going to say there's major problems there. Like I knew it wasn't fine,
• 6:46
  but I was like, I don't want to deal with it.
• 6:48
  And I don't want anybody to know because I'm not getting divorced.
• 6:51
  Like I was dead set on marriage is for life. Divorce is not an option,
• 6:55
  but it turns out one of the best ways to realize you're not fine is to be honest
• 6:59
  about who you are and what your life is like and watch people go yeah.
• 7:04
  In the face. Okay. So if, if you're not watching the video part of this,
• 7:09
  that's a, wide-eyed like, Oh my gosh, this is not okay.
• 7:14
  Or if people class their hand to their mouth immediately,
• 7:17
  when you start telling your story and gasp, those are key signs that, Oh,
• 7:21
  not everybody else is living like this.
• 7:23
  And that's not how marriage and love is supposed to be at all.
• 7:27
  And then I started,
• 7:28
  I actually went to a therapist and I finally broke down because she told me I
• 7:32
  don't need to, like you.
• 7:34
  Stop trying to be likable to me and impressive.
• 7:38
  Just tell me what's going on. And so, and she really, really helped me see.
• 7:42
  And one of the biggest moments was we were talking about my marriage and
• 7:46
  everything. And I was saying, you know, I ask and he doesn't do anything.
• 7:49
  And I've tried to say, I need help. And I'm on the verge of a breakdown. And,
• 7:53
  and she said, so you have a good job. Right. And I said, yep. And she said,
• 7:58
  when you asked for something at work,
• 7:59
  like if you need a new piece of software or something, do they give it to you?
• 8:02
  And I was like, yeah, generally I get what I asked for. She said,
• 8:07
  why do you think that is? I was like, well, I'm a valued employee. Oh
• 8:12
  wow. Because they value me and he does not.
• 8:17
  And that caused a whole chain reaction in my thinking of,
• 8:21
  I don't even really have a marriage because like I'm not killing a marriage
• 8:26
  because we're not married in the sense that that's how marriage is supposed to
• 8:31
  work. You're supposed to love and honor each other. Those are the,
• 8:34
  do you Courtney promise to love and honor.
• 8:37
  There was no honor from him. So I was like, well, this is not okay.
• 8:43
  Not only is it not fine. It's absolutely not acceptable. And I walked away.
• 8:48
  How long after that realization, did it take you to walk away?
• 8:53
  Probably another year? Um, in part, because again,
• 8:56
  she was a fantastic therapist, uh, Rita,
• 8:59
  the patron Saint of broken and abused women.
• 9:04
  There's a title.
• 9:04
  Right. Partially because she said, okay,
• 9:07
  I don't want you to have any regrets and get to the point that you think, well,
• 9:11
  maybe if I had said more clearly what I needed. So she said,
• 9:15
  we're going to make a list of everything you want out of life and give it to him
• 9:20
  and see if he'll honor any of it.
• 9:22
  And because I am who I am back to the good girl, straight a student,
• 9:25
  I ended up with like a five-page with headers and
• 9:29
  bullet point categories.
• 9:30
  Different colors? Were there colors?
• 9:32
  There were no colors, but it was definitely formatted and everything.
• 9:37
  And so I gave him the list and I got a hallmark card
• 9:42
  and a Starbucks in three months. And I was like that, wasn't on my list.
• 9:47
  Yeah. That wasn't on my list. Right.
• 9:50
  Which helped me to see, he's only willing to give what he wants to give.
• 9:53
  It has nothing to do with what I need and what I'm asking for. It's whatever.
• 9:56
  He feels like parceling out in the name of love, which is again,
• 10:00
  not how love works.
• 10:01
  Right. Oh.
• 10:02
  And I would also question whether that was what he wanted or that was just,
• 10:07
  that was all he was capable of.
• 10:10
  I agree. Looking back on the situation, I'm like,
• 10:12
  I don't know if it's that he wouldn't love me or that he could, not.
• 10:15
  That he was stunted in his own situation. .
• 10:19
  Right. Either way. It doesn't really matter so much.
• 10:23
  The fact of the matter is that you weren't getting what you needed out of that
• 10:27
  relationship. Right?
• 10:28
  Yeah. So yeah,
• 10:29
  it took me about a year to go through the whole process and be finally ready to
• 10:33
  say, okay, this is not working.
• 10:35
  And I've given him every opportunity to meet me where I need to be.
• 10:39
  And if I had seen even the smallest sign that he could have,
• 10:43
  I would have stayed. I wanted it to work. But it did not.
• 10:48
  Yeah. I think everybody who makes that kind of decision doesn't do it lightly.
• 10:53
  I certainly didn't. It was it's yeah.
• 10:56
  You just keep wanting to make it work to make sure that you're not
• 11:01
  making a mistake.
• 11:02
  Right. And there was a element of fear because I thought, okay,
• 11:06
  I'm horribly unhappy. I finally embraced. I'm horribly unhappy. It is not fine.
• 11:11
  But then I thought, what if I leave him?
• 11:14
  And it turns out the reason I'm unhappy is me. Wow.
• 11:19
  It was easy to blame things on, well,
• 11:21
  I don't have friends because he's anti-social,
• 11:24
  I don't exercise because he doesn't want to.
• 11:27
  So then I realized I don't have children. And so it was like,
• 11:30
  I am going to be a hundred percent responsible for the life I build after this.
• 11:35
  Yeah. That's scary.
• 11:36
  It was.
• 11:38
  Then you have to take responsibility for yourself.
• 11:41
  You can't blame somebody else. You can't be complacent anymore.
• 11:46
  So you did that.
• 11:47
  How long ago was it that you walked away?
• 11:51
  2015. So it's been a little over five years.
• 11:55
  Okay. Any regrets?
• 12:00
  No. Best decision I ever made.
• 12:02
  All right. But it wasn't all cupcakes and, and, uh,
• 12:06
  daisies. Okay.
• 12:08
  Oh, there was moments of sobbing in my new apartment. And uh,
• 12:13
  the first Christmas I spent alone, uh, alone,
• 12:18
  which is something that no one should ever go through. Um,
• 12:21
  whatever major holiday you celebrate having to do it alone is brutal. Um,
• 12:25
  so yeah, there was a lot of tough moments where I had to remind myself one,
• 12:30
  you chose this and two will get better. In three.
• 12:33
  I used to use a coping strategy where like,
• 12:36
  I can remember sitting at my kitchen table,
• 12:37
  freaking out that I was alone and divorced and I would ask myself, okay,
• 12:42
  are you safe? And I'd look around at the walls. It'd be like, yeah,
• 12:46
  I'm safe here. Are you warm? Like, you know, do you have air conditioner?
• 12:51
  Are you going to be that way for the next 30 minutes to an hour? Okay.
• 12:55
  Then breathe. Yeah. That was all I could do was be in that kind of a moment.
• 12:59
  Like, okay, nothing else matters. You're safe. No,
• 13:01
  one's going to hurt you right here. Breathe.
• 13:03
  Yeah. Sometimes that is what we have to do. Am I okay.
• 13:08
  In this moment, like bringing yourself back to this very present moment,
• 13:12
  which is really in this whole scope of things all we ever have anyway.
• 13:18
  But making yourself hyper aware of I'm okay.
• 13:22
  Right now. And for the next 30 minutes,
• 13:25
  I can breathe through this and get to the next 30 and the next 30
• 13:30
  after that. Did you, where did you learn that technique or did you just like,
• 13:34
  how did you know to do that?
• 13:37
  I think desperation?
• 13:38
  Okay. Sometimes that's a great tool resource.
• 13:42
  Yeah. And I had done a little bit of yoga and meditation, so I did know the,
• 13:46
  you know, bring yourself back, check in with your body type. It,
• 13:50
  it was really a variation on that. A more stripped down,
• 13:52
  desperate panicky variation of notice the things around you notice where
• 13:57
  you are. Okay. Okay. Reset.
• 14:01
  Yeah. That's awesome. And I,
• 14:02
  I encourage anybody who's listening who is finds themselves in that
• 14:07
  anxiety filled place to use that technique because that is, uh,
• 14:11
  it sounds like it was very useful.
• 14:13
  I can see how that would be something that is grounding,
• 14:17
  especially in that very moment. Was your family,
• 14:21
  did you have friends or family?
• 14:23
  Like w what was the outside support for you?
• 14:27
  I have a lovely family,
• 14:28
  but my sister lives overseas and my parents live in Florida.
• 14:31
  I'm in Arizona and my parents weren't able to travel and my sister has five
• 14:36
  children and she wasn't able to travel,
• 14:37
  which is why I ended up spending that Christmas alone. Um,
• 14:40
  and I also had a very demanding job, so I couldn't fly to them.
• 14:45
  So I do have family, but they're very long distance.
• 14:48
  Are they supportive of your decision to leave? Yes.
• 14:52
  Okay. Okay.
• 14:53
  I wasn't sure. Because given the description of the whole religion, part of it,
• 14:58
  when you were growing up,
• 14:59
  I wasn't sure if they would then be supportive when you finally decided you had
• 15:03
  to do that.
• 15:03
  Yeah, they are. They, I mentioned the church got off track,
• 15:07
  turns out my family is way more loving and supportive and kind and
• 15:12
  compassionate than I realized. Um,
• 15:16
  I thought they'd be much more judgmental. And even to this day,
• 15:19
  sometimes I'll tell them something and think there'll be judgemental and they
• 15:22
  never are.
• 15:24
  That's so interesting too,
• 15:25
  that you had these ideas and these beliefs that maybe weren't really
• 15:30
  true. Correct. So when you got to,
• 15:35
  when you had to examine them now, they're like, wait a minute.
• 15:38
  This isn't really how I, what I thought was reality isn't, isn't true.
• 15:42
  Yes.
• 15:44
  Which I tend to be one of those people who feels like I'm responsible for other
• 15:48
  people's reaction. And so I will forecast how I think you're going to react.
• 15:52
  Like, Oh, if I told Lori, I need to delay this, she'll be upset.
• 15:56
  Same great therapist asked me one time, just off the cuff, are you God?
• 16:00
  And I was like, what? She's like, are you God? I'm like, well, no.
• 16:04
  And she's like, Oh, because you act like you are like,
• 16:06
  you can control how people are going to respond based on what you do.
• 16:10
  And I was like, Oh no, she didn't.
• 16:13
  Oh, wow. You just keep coming with these revelations.
• 16:18
  Right. But it was so occasionally I laughed to myself now,
• 16:21
  when I'm trying to handle everything and control, I'm like, Hey,
• 16:25
  you're not God stop. Um, back to your other question,
• 16:30
  did I have friends? The answer was no.
• 16:32
  People always hear about abusive relationships and they say like,
• 16:35
  if he isolates you and much,
• 16:38
  like you hear about when someone offers you drugs and you picture it's going to
• 16:41
  be the after-school special.
• 16:43
  That's the way he isolated me was to
• 16:47
  pout.
• 16:48
  If I was going to do something with friends or to make the rest of the night
• 16:52
  miserable, when I came home, like glad you have fun, blah, blah, blah.
• 16:56
  And so I actually voluntarily gave up having friends
• 17:00
  and socializing. He didn't say like, I always pictured in my head. It would be,
• 17:04
  you can't have friends. He just made it so uncomfortable for me to have them.
• 17:09
  Then I was like, well, I won't go. If you're going to be upset.
• 17:11
  If I go to the point that I ended up with, no one,
• 17:15
  now it turns out I had some fantastic coworkers that stepped up as friends
• 17:20
  and helped me through the process. But yeah. Wow.
• 17:24
  So then you had to go out and find yourself some friends.
• 17:30
  I did. Um,
• 17:31
  and it was on my list of things I wanted when I made the list that I wanted in
• 17:35
  that life.
• 17:36
  There was an entire category and I felt like a sad little dork making it,
• 17:40
  but it was a huge thing I wanted, I said, a girlfriend to have wine with,
• 17:44
  a couple of people to go on a road trip. Someone I can call if I'm sad,
• 17:48
  like those are, it's still in my phone. The list.
• 17:50
  Let's go back to that list for a second.
• 17:52
  Because I think that list is so important.
• 17:55
  Whether you're looking for someone to step up,
• 17:59
  like you were making it to, to ask him to,
• 18:03
  if he was willing to do, give you any of those things,
• 18:06
  whether you're in a situation like that or not.
• 18:08
  When you're thinking about what do,
• 18:10
  how do I want to create this life that I want,
• 18:13
  that this life that will fill my soul with joy,
• 18:17
  making that list sounds kind of, I don't know.
• 18:21
  We woo or like ridiculous sometimes,
• 18:24
  but I've made lists and you're talking about making a list.
• 18:28
  I just think that is so beneficial to help you sort out. What, what do you want,
• 18:33
  what do you don't want? What don't you want.
• 18:36
  Go ahead.
• 18:37
  I was going to say, Even if you're starting from a point of, okay,
• 18:39
  I know I don't want this. I don't want that. I don't want,
• 18:42
  if you don't know what you do want yet,
• 18:45
  start with the list of what you don't want and then flip it around.
• 18:48
  What would be the opposite of that?
• 18:50
  And I was just going to add that.
• 18:51
  I think a lot of people are willing to make lists of, here are the goals I want.
• 18:56
  And like you say, I felt stupid. I'm like,
• 18:58
  I cannot believe I'm writing down that I want a girlfriend.
• 19:00
  I can call if I'm sad or, you know, whatever it was.
• 19:04
  But it's been really helpful to have that list. And look back with it,
• 19:08
  because I could say, Oh, I want to pass my associates in captive insurance.
• 19:12
  Or I want to work out five times a week. That'll bring me some joy,
• 19:16
  but why not make a list of the things like friends and the attributes you're
• 19:19
  looking for? Because those quote unquote,
• 19:22
  intangible elements are something you can look for.
• 19:25
  And they are the things that will make you, they make the life worth living.
• 19:29
  Yes.
• 19:30
  So I'm so glad that you mentioned that you made that list and that that's the
• 19:34
  main point of what we're, you know, your story. Great. Thanks for sharing. No,
• 19:39
  I do appreciate it.
• 19:42
  One of the key elements to come out of what we're talking about is the
• 19:45
  importance of making that list,
• 19:47
  because it helps you recognize what is important to you. And again,
• 19:52
  what's going to bring you joy.
• 19:55
  So do you cross things off the list now as you accomplish them or as you write,
• 20:00
  you're accomplished as you achieve, you know,
• 20:03
  you get a friend that now you have a friend who could go have wine with.
• 20:07
  I don't necessarily cross things off the list.
• 20:09
  I do look back on the list and partially the friends section,
• 20:13
  because I now have an amazing group of friends,
• 20:16
  lots of different people I can call.
• 20:18
  That's almost become a sentimental thing to me at this point to remind me of
• 20:22
  where I was.
• 20:24
  And also to remind me that there are people out there that are still looking for
• 20:27
  that, because now that I've made friends and had friends,
• 20:31
  I want to be able to look for the person who doesn't have them
• 20:36
  and help them find them.
• 20:38
  And that's a thing that we've talked about before and that I've heard from other
• 20:42
  people, but how difficult it is to make friends as an adult. Yeah.
• 20:48
  It's tough. And no one wants to feel awkward.
• 20:49
  It's like junior high all over again, but we're 40, 50 something.
• 20:53
  And we're like, Oh my God, I'm too old to feel this embarrassingly awkward.
• 20:58
  I should be better at this.
• 21:00
  Right. Well, and that's what your program,
• 21:03
  the podcast that you've been talking about creating in your program is,
• 21:07
  is going to help people with that whole friend making process.
• 21:11
  I'm really excited for you to get working on that.
• 21:16
  Thank you. I'm excited too. Yeah. Cause it, I messed it up a lot along the way,
• 21:21
  but I definitely learned some things that I think I can teach other people with.
• 21:25
  And, um, I mentioned, I spent Christmas alone. Well,
• 21:27
  after I spent Christmas alone, I decided, okay,
• 21:30
  you can take that experience and you can either put it in your bank as a sad,
• 21:33
  sad memory, or you can use it to do good.
• 21:36
  So then I started hosting open houses on Christmas Eve for people who
• 21:41
  didn't have anywhere to go. Well,
• 21:46
  my first year I had one or two people and it was terrible,
• 21:50
  just terrible. Okay. And I had to have another gut check moment and say, okay,
• 21:54
  you can say, okay, I failed at this. I'm not ever going to do it again.
• 21:57
  Or you can take what you learned and try again.
• 22:01
  And I decided I'd take what I learned and try it again.
• 22:03
  And so next year it was much better. And then the third year it ended up,
• 22:06
  there were like 50 people in my 900 square foot apartment.
• 22:13
  People still talk about that. Remember that time you I'm like, yes, yes.
• 22:17
  Great memory you created for all those people and yourself. Yeah.
• 22:22
  So yeah.
• 22:22
  It's that kind of learning from what you go through that can help you take it
• 22:27
  from fine to fantastic. Like, yeah. Okay. This isn't fine.
• 22:31
  Do I just say, okay, well that was a waste or do I say, okay,
• 22:35
  let me just try it again,
• 22:36
  but do something slightly different until I can make it good.
• 22:41
  Yeah.
• 22:42
  Yeah. Use it as inspiration. Love it. All right. Well,
• 22:43
  we close out every episode with my question of what is that
• 22:47
  song, Your walkup song, your hype song, the song that gets you,
• 22:51
  completely pumped up when you need extra courage or
• 22:55
  enthusiasm. What's your song, Courtney?
• 22:58
  I don't know that I have a song I use for extra enthusiasm,
• 23:01
  but if I had to have a walkup song, I'm a San Francisco giants fan.
• 23:05
  And they had a player named Michael Morris who played the game with absolute joy
• 23:10
  and abandon.
• 23:11
  Like you ever seen a Labrador just run around that happy,
• 23:16
  complete freedom, dopey tail wagging. Yeah. I mean,
• 23:21
  he had flowing Brown hair when he would run the bases.
• 23:23
  All I could think was that looks like a dog off the leash. Like just,
• 23:29
  he was a goofball and I love being a goofball.
• 23:32
  And I love getting people involved in being goofballs.
• 23:36
  His walkup song was, uh, take me on by aha. Yes.
• 23:41
  Because the crowd would try and hit the high notes.
• 23:46
  And you can kind of see there's two kinds of people. Those who are like,
• 23:49
  I'm going to nail this, I'm going to go for it.
• 23:50
  And those who are rolling their eyes, like you guys are so embarrassing.
• 23:55
  Yeah. You were the ones who were like, you were among the,
• 23:57
  I'm going to nail this.
• 23:58
  Oh yeah. With gestures and you know, fake microphone at all. So yeah.
• 24:02
  I think in honor of him,
• 24:03
  it would be that just to see people act like idiots and have fun doing it.
• 24:07
  Good song too, though.
• 24:09
  True . Fun video. All around.
• 24:12
  Awesome. All right. So lastly, if people want to get in touch with you first,
• 24:17
  we will put a link to that song in the show notes.
• 24:22
  If people want to get in touch with you, what is the best way to do that?
• 24:25
  If they wanted to talk to you about making friends or anything that you shared
• 24:29
  today?
• 24:30
  I do have a group on Facebook in support of the upcoming podcast
• 24:35
  called making friends. They can get in touch with me there.
• 24:37
  I can share the link or they can just Google making friends I'm on Facebook.
• 24:41
  They can find me Courtney Boles,
• 24:43
  or they can find me on Instagram at contemporary Scarlet,
• 24:46
  or they can reach out to you.
• 24:47
  And I'll happily have a chat with anybody that you introduce me to.
• 24:52
  Sounds good. We'll put,
• 24:53
  we'll put links to all of that in the show notes as well to make it really easy
• 24:56
  for everyone. Thank you so much for joining me today.
• 25:00
  Courtney on fine is a four-letter word.
• 25:02
  Thank you, Lori.