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I Should Be More Like Martin Short · Armstrong & Getty One More Thing

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I should be more like Martin Short. It's one more thing.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Armstrong and Getty.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: One more thing.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: We'll get to the hilarious Martin Short here in just
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: a little bit. I just looked up the World Series odds.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Brewers raise. Neither team has ever won a World Series.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: World Series starts Friday. It's currently a 60-40 likelihood Milwaukee
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: wins over Tampa. The odds make or say. I'm going
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: to try to get interested, but I feel like it's
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: difficult unless you like have a reason to root for somebody.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Like last year, I really got into rooting for Toronto
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  Speaker 1: against the evil Dodgers. Sometimes it's just the underdog thing.
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  Speaker 1: So I don't know. Got to find somebody to like
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: or hate.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
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  Speaker 4: I was rooting so hard for Milwaukee versus the Dodgers,
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  Speaker 4: but versus Tampa Bay, what do I have against the
• 0:53
  Speaker 4: good people of Tampa, St.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Pete? I kind of like that guy from the Brewers, Bauer,
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  Speaker 1: the guy that has been a hero so far. That
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: whole story of he was quitting baseball because it wasn't
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  Speaker 1: working out for him. And then his wife got pregnant
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  Speaker 1: and he's like, well, I got to play one more
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: year for the health insurance. And somehow he figured out
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  Speaker 1: how to hit major league pitching in the meantime. That's
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: a pretty good story. He only hung around for the
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: health insurance for the kid. Do we need to set
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: this up at all, Katie? Yes. Okay. Please tell us
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  Speaker 1: what we're about to hear.
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  Speaker 4: Okay.
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  Speaker 3: And the only reason I brought this is because it's
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: one of those, if I had to hear it, I'm
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  Speaker 3: making you guys hear it. Oh, good.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: I went on to.
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: Twitter or X or whatever the hell it's called. And
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  Speaker 3: I was just scrolling the feed. This video, I'm not kidding,
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  Speaker 3: you popped up maybe 20 to 25 times being shared.
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  Speaker 3: And it's all over TikTok. I have zero idea why.
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  Speaker 3: It's obnoxious and it goes like this.
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  Speaker 4: Well, hang on now. Do we need to know any
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  Speaker 4: of the visuals? Would that help, do you think?
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  Speaker 1: The visuals won't help, but I'll tell you what it is.
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  Speaker 3: It is a very.
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  Speaker 3: Poor animation of a massively fat.
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  Speaker 1: I already love it.
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  Speaker 3: What appears to be a bumblebee, but it's shaking so
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  Speaker 3: violently that you can't really tell what it is.
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  Speaker 1: Wow. Okay. I did a big fat shit in the KFC.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: I swear it's.
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  Speaker 4: Pigeon they're feeding me.
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  Speaker 1: Finger licking chicken beans to stick your dick in. Da
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  Speaker 1: da da da da da. And that's... The artist or
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: whoever is Tiny Behe. Tiny Behe. Put that together.
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  Speaker 3: And they've been making a bunch of these little really
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  Speaker 3: bizarre songs and they're just going viral everywhere.
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  Speaker 1: But that one. This fits in with what I was
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: talking about earlier on. Netflix was worried because their stock
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: is down 40 percent and people are watching less. But
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  Speaker 1: the chart for YouTube and TikTok is just. practically straight
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: up over the last couple of years. And my kids
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: bring me stuff like this all the time. Usually it's
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: half that long, but it's like, oh my God, everybody
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  Speaker 1: at school is watching this. And they show me 15
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: seconds of flashing lights and nonsense. And then they say,
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: oh my God, isn't that the funniest thing you've ever
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  Speaker 1: seen in it? But there's like a hundred of them
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  Speaker 1: a day and you move on to the next one.
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  Speaker 1: And it's just, it's just, it's so weird. Blah, blah, blah.
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  Speaker 4: Downfall of man, downfall of mankind. I, as a songwriter
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  Speaker 4: would like to salute. Him rhyming chicken with....
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  Speaker 1: I can't even say it. Beans to stick your dick in?
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  Speaker 1: Is that what he said?
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  Speaker 2: That's exactly what he said.
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  Speaker 1: He's a writer. And a lot of the stuff my
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  Speaker 1: kids show me is similar to that, just like really
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: amateurish drawing. Like my son has been working on how
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  Speaker 1: to do that so he can make the videos. He'd
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: come up with any idea and then he'd just kind
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  Speaker 1: of crappy drawing to go with it. Yeah. So do
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  Speaker 1: we need to hear that? The yodeling and everything. Do
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  Speaker 1: we need to hear that again? I feel like I
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: kind of do. I feel like we kind of do, yeah.
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  Speaker 1: I'm going to pass out. Pigeon. One little pigeon sitting
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  Speaker 1: in a tree. The rest got shot by KFC. That's terrible.
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  Speaker 1: I swear it's one little pigeon they're feeding me.
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  Speaker 4: I just took a shit at KFC.
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  Speaker 1: I swear that's pigeon they're feeding me. I swear it's pigeon.
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  Speaker 4: Right.
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  Speaker 1: It's no like a Rolling Stone, but it.
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  Speaker 4: It does stick in the mind.
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  Speaker 1: It's not Proust. It's an earworm. They have lawyers.
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  Speaker 4: You can't claim that, tiny bee.
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  Speaker 1: Don't do that with the beans under any circumstances. I'd
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  Speaker 1: love to know the economics of it. How much money
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  Speaker 1: did Tiny Behe make off of how many views?
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  Speaker 3: Oh, they're in the process of just making millions at
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  Speaker 3: the rate that that song is going around right now.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: And how long does something need to be hot to
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  Speaker 1: make the money you're probably going to make and then
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  Speaker 1: you move on to something else? I wonder, like two
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  Speaker 1: days maybe in the modern world? It gets really hot
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  Speaker 1: for two days. It gets eight million views. You make
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  Speaker 1: several hundred thousand dollars and then you go on to
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  Speaker 1: the next one. I have no idea. It's quick though, man.
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  Speaker 1: The turnover is so fast.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah.
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  Speaker 4: I know the baby monkey riding on a pig guy
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  Speaker 4: who used to write that sort of hyper catchy, ridiculous
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  Speaker 4: songs with the videos. He did really, really well, but
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  Speaker 4: I don't, I don't recall the specifics and it's probably
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  Speaker 4: changed completely since then.
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  Speaker 1: Okay. And then one more click.
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  Speaker 4: I never want to hear that as long as I live.
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  Speaker 4: Number one, I gave myself a back spasm laughing. I
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  Speaker 4: think I'm in pain.
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  Speaker 1: Injured yourself from humor. I think so. That's not a
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  Speaker 1: good sign.
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  Speaker 2: Gotta go stretch.
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  Speaker 1: So Martin Short, the comedian, who is among the funniest
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  Speaker 1: people who have ever lived. Have you ever seen any
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: Jiminy Glick or Jeremy Glick?
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  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah. Yeah, a little bit.
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  Speaker 1: I had never seen any of that. And I saw,
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: you know, YouTube shorts of highlights of him interviewing people.
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  Speaker 1: Freaking hilarious. And he just cracks the hell up out
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  Speaker 1: of so many funny comedians where he just has them
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  Speaker 1: crying with laughter. Seinfeld and Ricky Gervais and Larry David
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  Speaker 1: and whatever. Because the character is so hilarious. But anyway,
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  Speaker 1: Martin Short and Conan have had a thing going on
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  Speaker 1: for years. Martin Short would go on the old Conan
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  Speaker 1: show all the time and always mock him for how
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  Speaker 1: pale he is. That was a regular. He'd come out
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: there and mock him for his paleness. Always with a
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  Speaker 1: new version of it. And that's what happened on that.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: Conan's podcast recently. This season calling only murders in London.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: In London.
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  Speaker 1: Very nice. Always good to switch it up. It's like
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: when the Brady Bunch went to Hawaii. I wonder what
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: would happen if you ever did a reference that played
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: to people under 60. We had a lovely time together,
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  Speaker 1: you and I in London. That night I.
• 7:53
  Speaker 4: Thought, he looks like the love child between Lurch and
• 7:56
  Speaker 4: Kathy Griffin. Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: You look like a Q-tip with ketchup on it. You
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: look like Ed Sheeran in a funhouse mirror.
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  Speaker 4: So I wouldn't, you're a hot one to talk.
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  Speaker 1: I mean, this is a guy who's known as Carrot Bottom.
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  Speaker 1: So one thing I was going to mention about Martin
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  Speaker 1: Short that I didn't know completely. I saw a very
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  Speaker 1: serious interview with him recently. About the suicide of his daughter. Oh,
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  Speaker 1: my Lord. And he was talking about it. And it
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  Speaker 1: came up in the conversation. His life. So his brother
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  Speaker 1: gets killed in a car wreck when he's a kid.
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  Speaker 1: Then both of his parents die. One in his teens
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  Speaker 1: and one in his early 20s. So his brothers died
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  Speaker 1: and both of his parents died. And then he had
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  Speaker 1: a very long-term marriage. He had one of those very happy,
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: successful celebrity marriages that don't happen that often. He was
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: married like 40 years or something like that. And then
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  Speaker 1: his wife died of ovarian cancer in 2010. And then recently,
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  Speaker 1: this past February, his daughter committed suicide. And he was
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  Speaker 1: just talking about all of that that has happened in
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  Speaker 1: his life. Because that's a lot of unfortunate events occurring
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  Speaker 1: for one human being. Can't even imagine.
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  Speaker 2: No.
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  Speaker 1: Most of us, luckily, go throughout our lives without one
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  Speaker 1: of those shouldn't happen at this point.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: Deaths in our lives. That's horrifying. Anyway, and he was
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  Speaker 1: talking about.
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  Speaker 1: You know, soldiering on and accepting things and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
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  Speaker 1: And I won't do a deep dive on that, but
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  Speaker 1: I have been like really resentful just in the last
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: couple of weeks or so around a legal situation I've
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  Speaker 1: got going on. And I was.
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  Speaker 2: Watching that and trying to figure out how do I,
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  Speaker 2: because my thing in terms of overall pain is minor
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  Speaker 2: compared to any of those i just mentioned or things
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  Speaker 2: that happen to lots of people but it's also not
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  Speaker 2: a nothing it's also not a nothing it's not a
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  Speaker 2: skinned knee this the the the crap that's happening that
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  Speaker 2: I'm dealing with.
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  Speaker 1: So how do, I don't know, go to church, I guess.
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  Speaker 1: How do you rank those things or decide to let go? Oh,
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  Speaker 1: you don't. You don't.
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  Speaker 4: I've mentioned this before. Jeff Tweedy, musician, Wilco is his
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: main band people know him from. His autobiography is really
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: interesting in a lot of different ways, including his wrestling
• 10:34
  Speaker 4: with opioid addiction. And he talks about being at a
• 10:38
  Speaker 4: rehab in Chicago trying to kick the pills and And
• 10:42
  Speaker 4: then at one point, there was another guy in the
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  Speaker 4: group session that they're talking about. And Jeff expressed the
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  Speaker 4: thought that I don't even feel like I should talk
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  Speaker 4: about my problems because compared to your problems, they're not much.
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  Speaker 4: And the guy, he grabbed him by the shirt, like
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  Speaker 4: in a threatening way. And he told him, No, this
• 11:03
  Speaker 4: is not the way this works. You don't compare your
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  Speaker 4: stuff to me and we rank it. Your pain is
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  Speaker 4: your pain. If it's your pain, then it's legitimate. Don't
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  Speaker 4: make me part of your deal. I wish I had
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  Speaker 4: it in front of me.
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  Speaker 1: I could read it to you.
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  Speaker 4: But yeah, I wouldn't do that.
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  Speaker 1: I like that, but you have to recognize there's obviously
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  Speaker 1: a limit to that. If my kid is really upset
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  Speaker 1: because his friend has an 88-inch TV in his room
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  Speaker 1: and he only has a 65-inch and it's just not fair,
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  Speaker 1: the world's not fair, we need some perspective going on
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  Speaker 1: here about what's a rough time and what's not a
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  Speaker 1: rough time. So I don't know. I realize this is
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  Speaker 1: something human beings have been trying to figure out forever.
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  Speaker 1: That's interesting that the guy reacted that way because that
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  Speaker 1: seems to be a pretty common tool i feel like
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  Speaker 1: that people throw out all the time um as you
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  Speaker 1: know it could be a lot worse think about this
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  Speaker 1: or this or this or that could happen or whatever
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  Speaker 1: um i i do with my kids all the time
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  Speaker 1: when they're complaining about the various things oh you know
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  Speaker 1: what i'll email the children in ukraine and let them
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  Speaker 1: know how difficult it is for you today with.
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: That's a good line and i would use it myself.
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  Speaker 1: Here's the metaphor, though.
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  Speaker 4: The problem comes when you're ranking things or thinking because
• 12:24
  Speaker 4: there's somebody suffering so much more than me, mine is
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  Speaker 4: either not legitimate or I shouldn't. Because your TV one's
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: a good way to illustrate one end of the spectrum.
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  Speaker 4: The other end of the spectrum is the man who
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: has a compound fracture from a car wreck and one
• 12:39
  Speaker 4: of the bones in his leg is sticking out absolutely
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  Speaker 4: has the right to claim terrible pain. Even if the
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: guy next to him has two compound fractures with two
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: bones sticking out, it's still immensely painful. It's more a
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  Speaker 4: question of give it a grade, not a rank. This
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  Speaker 4: is some B plus pain I'm dealing with. Just because
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: this guy over here has a lot more pain doesn't
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: mean I'm not dealing with B plus pain. But, you know,
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  Speaker 4: it's the yin and yang of life.
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  Speaker 1: You're right. I see your point. So when I see
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: a Martin Short or something like that and the laundry
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: list of all the awful things he's happening, he talks
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: about how he can accept it. I feel, I just
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  Speaker 1: feel like weak or whatever if I'm not accepting something.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: Like I'm doing it wrong. But it was very handy
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: for me to hear. This came out a year or
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: two ago. I feel like Michael J. Fox wrote yet
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: another book or did yet another interview in which he
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: I hate to use the word admit. That's wrong. Detailed...
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: how depressed he was when he found out he had
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: Parkinson's as a young, good looking, successful actor at the
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: height of his career and how just like depressed, suicidal,
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: didn't think he'd ever be happy again. And that lasted
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: a long time because the image, I think a lot
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: of us had gotten from him and maybe on purpose
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: with a book he wrote was, you know, he turned
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: it around, turned it upside down. You know, other people
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: have it worse. I'm going to be a, I'm going
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: to go out there and be a soldier for you
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: got to carry on and blah, blah, blah.
• 14:10
  Speaker 4: Mm hmm.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, eventually. But you got to go through the
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: period of this thing sucks so hard. I can't believe
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: this is happening. It's so unfair, blah, blah, blah. For
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: a certain amount of time, maybe, before you can get
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: to that point.
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: I'm hoping I'm just still in the this really, really sucks.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: Can't believe this is happening to me isn't fair period.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: And then, you know, you come out of it. Maybe
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: if you just can't ever let it go, that's where
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: you're making a mistake.
• 14:37
  Speaker 4: I don't know. That's a good point, too.
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: Imagine the emotional pain of, say, you know, you're expecting
• 14:45
  Speaker 4: chicken and you're fed pigeon instead.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: Excellent callback. And you lose control of your bowels. Excellent.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: Should we finish with that one more time?
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: Within the very restaurant that allegedly now served you the pigeon.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: This is all alleged. That would be emotional pain. Exactly.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: Right there.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: Oh, God, do we have to? I think we have to.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: In the KFC I swear it's pigeon.
• 15:12
  Speaker 4: They're feeding me Finger lickin' chicken beans to stick your
• 15:16
  Speaker 4: dick in I made a big fat shit in the KFC.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: I swear it's pigeon they're feeding me.
• 15:26
  Speaker 4: One little pigeon, pigeon One little pigeon sittin' in a
• 15:31
  Speaker 4: tree The rest got shot by.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: KFC So I'd like to know if we, this, that
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: will cause car wrecks. Has there ever been a podcast
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: ever that went as serious as we did and as
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: ridiculous as we did back to back ever? And there
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: might be a reason for it.
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: Why would you?
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: Terrible idea.
• 15:59
  Speaker 4: Career suicide.
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: I'm going to listen to that song six more times today.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: Well, I guess that's it.