Latest / She Speaks Life - Christian Women, Strengthen Your Faith, Bible Study, Grow Spiritually In Christ / Putting Your World Back Together After It All Falls Apart With Lisa Appelo
Transcript
- 0:02Hi listeners. Welcome to the.
- 0:04She speaks live podcast a weekly encouragement where we share our
- 0:09God's stories. I'm your host.
- 0:12Jamie Elizabeth and I am so glad you are spending time with us
- 0:16today to listen. Hi friend.
- 0:21Welcome back to she speaks live today.
- 0:24I have with me author, Lisa apollo' of life can be good
- 0:29again. Putting your world back together
- 0:32after it falls apart. She's going to share with us
- 0:36about the sudden tragic loss of her husband and give us
- 0:40encouragement on. What do we do when grief enters
- 0:43our world and how do we get through any loss that upends
- 0:48life? Hello Lisa Thank you for coming
- 0:51on here. Thank you so much for having me.
- 0:53I appreciate it. Yeah, I mean I can't imagine
- 0:57walking through this tragedy here and what you experienced
- 1:04and I am so grateful though, that you are using your story to
- 1:09serve others and helping them anchor, their faith and cope
- 1:16with a new reality. And I know that takes obedience
- 1:20It's and that takes courage on your part.
- 1:23And I just want to say thank you, thank you for being on
- 1:26here. To encourage those that have
- 1:29walk through a similar experience or loss, a job, or a
- 1:35home that you have some hope to give us on, how do we get
- 1:42through that and get to the other side.
- 1:45So thank you. And I would just love it if you
- 1:49could just take Is back to when you first met your husband and I
- 1:55know we all have these preconceived ideas of what
- 1:59marriage would look like. And just give us a little back
- 2:03story on your relationship with him.
- 2:06Sure. So I met Dan and seventh grade
- 2:09we were. I know, he was just another boy
- 2:12when you through, but that point, right?
- 2:13But as we kind of nice and high school, we became really good
- 2:17friends. We were part of a group of
- 2:19really good guy. My girlfriends and then we
- 2:22started dating. So he was actually my first
- 2:25date, he was my only date it was right before my 16th birthday
- 2:29and, you know, we just he was we had been such good friends that
- 2:32I knew that we would work as a couple.
- 2:35And so we we went to college together because I figured that
- 2:40this was, you know, I didn't want like going away to college
- 2:43kind of to mess up our relationship.
- 2:46So we went to college together, we ended up getting married in
- 2:49college. And either wife kind of just
- 2:52sailed on, we kept taking the things off that we were in our
- 2:55plans. We had children, he wanted to, I
- 2:58wanted three, we went ended up with seven children.
- 3:01Oh my goodness. By the end you know God vetoed
- 3:04both of us but it life was not perfect by any stretch.
- 3:09We had Financial pressures and challenges that we had to get
- 3:14through. That were very difficult.
- 3:16Some of them, we had parenting struggles.
- 3:19We had marriage, Tissues. So these were all things that we
- 3:23had to walk through. But, you know, by by the summer
- 3:28of, it was 10 years ago by that summer actually Father's Day
- 3:31weekend. I, if you had asked me, I would
- 3:34have said, this is the life I want.
- 3:36Like if I could carve out the life I want or plan it, this is
- 3:40all I've wanted, is to be a mom to be in a solid marriage.
- 3:44We were to place where Dan was loved his work.
- 3:47The kids were in a good place. So, We were on very ordinary
- 3:52Friday morning. What I thought was ordinary we
- 3:54were it was still dark out actually and I woke up to Dan's
- 3:58funny breathing and I wasn't even awake enough to open my
- 4:02eyes but I just kind of reached my hand out and said it's okay
- 4:05hon it's just a nightmare. I just thought he would turn
- 4:08over and we wake up to his alarm a few hours later and when he
- 4:12didn't wake up I kind of woke up when he didn't turn over.
- 4:15I kind of woke up, more and flipped on the overhead light
- 4:19and I could see Immediately that something was very wrong that he
- 4:23was non-responsive. And so, you know, I called 911,
- 4:28she began walking me through CPR, and as I was doing CPR, I
- 4:33just thought it was kind of two things.
- 4:35Like one I was in the moment doing the counting, you know,
- 4:37trying to be very present and do as well as I could.
- 4:42But I was also thinking like I am not giving CPR to the man.
- 4:45I just kiss goodnight a few hours ago like this is I am not
- 4:49going to see parts of the way. Of our family.
- 4:50And within a point, we got through two rounds of CPR.
- 4:55The paramedics were there and took over shift me, out of the
- 4:58room. I thought, okay, he is in good
- 5:00hands and he's going to be really mad when he wakes up and
- 5:03realizes. He can't go to work today.
- 5:05And yet at the same time, I was very hopeful because this had
- 5:10come from nowhere. There were no signs, no
- 5:12symptoms, no, anything. And yet I could also see that
- 5:16this is very dire and I just was kind of outside the the room
- 5:20praying audibly, you know, for the god to have mercy on us,
- 5:24Lord, have mercy on us and so they took him by stretcher to
- 5:28the hospital and I followed it was only a few minutes after I
- 5:33arrived when an ER doctor said that they had worked on him for
- 5:36over two hours and they had never been able to revive him.
- 5:40So like in one night sleep life, just collapsed the life that I
- 5:46had loved the person who was such a sin Part of that for all
- 5:51of us not just for me but for my children it just was shattered
- 5:55and it would never be again. Mmm.
- 5:58Oh my goodness I just can't imagine.
- 6:01Can't imagine did they find out what he had or what happened?
- 6:06Yes. So my Hospital didn't even give
- 6:08me a choice just that they would do an autopsy, which was fine
- 6:11because we really wanted to. I wanted to know and there was
- 6:15an underlying condition that had we known a heart condition that
- 6:18had we known was probably Lee treatable.
- 6:21So it wasn't like your typical artery blocking.
- 6:24He didn't have any of that, but it was something that had we
- 6:27known, it's treatable everything from medication over the, you
- 6:31know, prescription medication to maybe a pacemaker, but we didn't
- 6:36know. And so I just had to wrestle
- 6:38through that and say God could have given us warning, God could
- 6:42have caused him to have some pain but I had been with him
- 6:44actually the four days before he and I had gotten away.
- 6:47He had a business trip down in the Keys.
- 6:50I'm in Florida and he wanted me to go.
- 6:52And I never went away with him because seven kids, and it was
- 6:57just too hard to find somebody to come.
- 6:58Be me in the house, but I did, I just got away with him for those
- 7:02four days. It was such a gift because not
- 7:04only do we have that time together which now I look back
- 7:07on so as such a treasure but I was with him, I could see that
- 7:12nothing. There was nothing that I could
- 7:15have seen, that would have been a warning and that really let me
- 7:19off the hook because so many many times in these kind of
- 7:21losses, their sets of regret and guilt like I should have known,
- 7:25I should have seen, I should have done something I could have
- 7:27and I did go through that. But I had a very quickly just
- 7:32leave that in the hands of the Lord.
- 7:34Yeah. And not receive that lie from
- 7:37the enemy. Oh wow.
- 7:39Yeah. What a beautiful time you had
- 7:43before the passing, I know it's Florida.
- 7:46Keys is a special place in our heart.
- 7:48We go there almost every Mer to vacation.
- 7:51So I know that place very well and gosh, I can't imagine.
- 7:57And I know your book is called life can be good again.
- 8:01Putting your world back together after it falls apart.
- 8:05I mean, how can you do that? Share with us.
- 8:09Like, what do you mean by that? Take us through the process to
- 8:14get to that point where you can say, life can be good again?
- 8:18Well, I can tell you that I was isn't saying life can be good
- 8:21again. That was not my mom's Mantra in
- 8:23those first months or even the first year was.
- 8:27Yeah, I think we go into survival mode and I was so naive
- 8:31about grief. I had never gone through
- 8:33anything like this. I had I had gone through some
- 8:35miscarriages but they were nothing really for me, they
- 8:40were, I had grieved those, but this just shattered so much.
- 8:46I remember saying to myself, I Will Never Smile Again.
- 8:50Like, I might make it through this, but I don't know if I'll
- 8:53ever feel Joy again while I ever feel that warm bubbly organic
- 8:59happiness, just coming up. And the same time I worried that
- 9:03I would never feel that I fought for it, because I did not want
- 9:06to just survive. I wanted to feel that again.
- 9:11I wanted to smile again. I wanted to feel that that Joy
- 9:15of life again, but it's a hard place and if anybody's walking
- 9:19through that if you have been through a miscarriage or child
- 9:21loss or even, there's a lot of ways we can go through
- 9:25shattering loss. It could be a spouse that walks
- 9:27out that says I never loved you or even a dear friend of mine
- 9:32who had she and her husband to put their heart and soul and
- 9:36Sweat Equity and years into building this business and
- 9:41something happened and it was gone and it just changed so much
- 9:46of their life. Yeah not just financially but
- 9:48just had so many. Couple of facts.
- 9:51So when we go through something like that, you know, I think
- 9:53it's very important to focus on being honest in our emotions and
- 9:59not feel like we have to show up a certain way or slap a
- 10:02platitude on it or fake that we're fine, the Bible gives us
- 10:06permission to do what we call a met.
- 10:08And I came to see that that my emotions hard as they were.
- 10:12We're not just safe with God, but they were safe, vest with
- 10:15God and everyone. I was kind of get away, I get in
- 10:19my minivan. You I'd get the kids started for
- 10:21the day and then I would just either cry audibly or journal or
- 10:25pray through my fears and my needs my overwhelm and then I
- 10:31would just kind of lay that at the feet of the Lord, pick up
- 10:33the word and just be reminded of who he is and how he cares for
- 10:38us. So good.
- 10:40I just recently went through a bible study on Lamentations and
- 10:46wow, it was at a perfect time. I was going through.
- 10:51Grieving myself, and it just really made it be okay to just
- 10:57lay it all out to the Lord and have that hope that he delivers.
- 11:02And, you know, obviously having seven kids, it's not just you,
- 11:08that's losing your husband, your kids are losing their father as
- 11:12well. How were you able to be there
- 11:16for your kids, all seven of them?
- 11:20We were at the time they were 46, 12, 14, 16 17, 19.
- 11:26So I had them all the ages and you know like I said I was I was
- 11:32so naive but I think one of the things that really a couple
- 11:35things really served. As one is we were just authentic
- 11:38with it. I did not feel like I had to be
- 11:41some kind of Super Mom at that moment or have all the answers.
- 11:45They did have a lot of questions and they had some hard questions
- 11:48and some of them I knew the answers to Some of them we got
- 11:51the word or got books and explored it together and some of
- 11:55them I didn't know the answers to, you know, and things like
- 11:59will you die early? You know, my little one wanted
- 12:02to know that. Well, I couldn't say no that
- 12:05will never happen much as I would love to promise that I
- 12:08can't promise that but I could direct her to the truth that God
- 12:13knows our days and that God will always be there and will always
- 12:18provide for and that I have put into place.
- 12:20Things for them if you know, something were ever to happen
- 12:23for me. So I think, you know, I became
- 12:26really a student of my children and a student of grief all over
- 12:31again. I saw that.
- 12:34They all that we all grieve differently, and we know that as
- 12:37adults, but children grieve differently than adults
- 12:40toddlers, grieve differently than teens and tweens girls
- 12:44generally grieve differently than boys, and so it would look
- 12:49different for them. The second thing that really
- 12:51helped us was very early on, I think it was the first time we
- 12:55sat down to do like a Bible time together after dance memorial
- 12:59service and everybody had gone home and your house had quieted
- 13:03we were all sitting around on couches and chairs and I said
- 13:06we're going to have to have a lot of Grace with each other.
- 13:08We're going to need a lot of Gray's and that kind of became
- 13:12the umbrella. It's not that I spoke that every
- 13:13day to them but I internalized it and I knew as a mom, I would
- 13:18need a lot of Grace. Always learning to single parent
- 13:22and that they would need Grace with each other.
- 13:24And with me I learned that the young ones are very concrete and
- 13:29their grief. If anybody's walking children
- 13:31through, you know that kids just are very honest though, will
- 13:35blurt out. So my four-year-old every day
- 13:38for every year she'd be like I'm don't you just cry in her car
- 13:41seat? If I miss Daddy, I miss Daddy
- 13:45and we would have that same conversation for over a year and
- 13:47I would just coach myself like Lisa do Do not get frustrated
- 13:51you, she's trying to learn the permanency of death for my tween
- 13:58and teen boys. They wanted life to feel normal.
- 14:01They wanted they didn't want to be singled out as that kid whose
- 14:04dad whatever. So when they were at church,
- 14:06when they were on the sports field, when they were friends,
- 14:09they needed that attention and they needed somebody to speak
- 14:13into them, but they didn't want to be labeled as that kid.
- 14:17So it was very important for me to make our home a safe place
- 14:20for conversation and to keep that conversation going and just
- 14:24by bringing up things like your dad would have loved this.
- 14:26Or he would have been so proud of you or telling stories just
- 14:29continuing to open that conversation through.
- 14:31So they could join it. And then I think my 17 year old
- 14:34daughter and my 19 year old son, probably grieved.
- 14:37Most like I was, as an adult, you know, as adults, we carry
- 14:41our grief, we don't go in and out for kids.
- 14:44It's too much. So you'll see them kind of like
- 14:46playing with. Friends, like everything's
- 14:47normal. And then having this quiet time
- 14:50where they're just, you tears are coming in, the conversation
- 14:53is open. Yeah, I had a best friend when I
- 14:58was a little girl. And so most of our, my young
- 15:03childhood years, we did everything together and her mom
- 15:08passed away. So I experienced her as, you
- 15:13know, 78 years old playing with Me and then all of a sudden
- 15:19having these outbursts of just anger and you know, scary
- 15:24almost. I would, you know, be like well
- 15:26I think I'm gonna go home because I didn't understand,
- 15:29right? Sure.
- 15:29And so, I know what you mean that goes, It goes in and out
- 15:35and little, then I know back then that that's what she was,
- 15:38experiencing was a grief. So glad you just brought that up
- 15:43because now, I'm realizing that that's what was happening.
- 15:47Into my, my friend. So, and I think his teachers
- 15:50coaches, Sunday school leaders, youth leaders.
- 15:53We need to be great for where we need to know that, even if
- 15:57they're not speaking about it, they are think we know
- 16:01statistics. Tell us that kids and teens
- 16:04constantly have this at the top of their thoughts that loss.
- 16:07And so, it's okay to say the name to say I'm praying for you
- 16:11to say, how can I pray for you today or man?
- 16:14I loved your mom. She was let me tell you.
- 16:16With my favorite story, you know, things like that are just
- 16:19gold. Yeah.
- 16:21Yeah. Bringing it up.
- 16:23Not shoving it under the rug or trying to pretend.
- 16:27Yeah, so good. You had mentioned some Idols
- 16:31during our suffering, how can we begin that healing and anger and
- 16:38bitterness that we may experience and I'm interested to
- 16:43hear what you mean by idols. Your suffering, I think for me
- 16:49and for many, what suffering does is it reveals some of the
- 16:53idols that we had that we maybe didn't even know we're there.
- 16:57So for me it one of them was the idol of control.
- 17:01You know, when Things Fall Apart we realize we are actually not
- 17:04in control. And why did we ever think we
- 17:06were as much as we'd love to control our circumstances?
- 17:10That we can't control everything.
- 17:13We can't control every outcome and so So that I don't have
- 17:17control was revealed. And then another one from me
- 17:21that was revealed is Idol of self-sufficiency.
- 17:23I am really good about bringing you the dinner if you are
- 17:29suffering but I'm not as good opening myself up and being
- 17:34vulnerable for others to lean in and help us when we're going
- 17:40through suffering. So both of those and there were
- 17:42more Idols but those were two that will really reveal that.
- 17:47You know, when life fell apart for us, I would find myself for
- 17:50the first time in a place of utter dependency on.
- 17:54God, we were a single income family that income was now gone
- 17:58to our finances were just, I was completely dependent on God even
- 18:03though there were some being, there was a safety net.
- 18:05But still long-term, I didn't know how that would pan out for
- 18:08a family of eight. At this point, I was cut was
- 18:11depend on God to help me parent, you know, all these decisions
- 18:14that I had been able to go to somebody and And think through
- 18:18and rely on somebody or like clock out, I am weary, can you
- 18:21take over? You know, I'm done being the bad
- 18:23cop, getting to come in, you know, I was not carrying that
- 18:28and so reliant on God for that wisdom.
- 18:31And that guidance I was, depending on God to help us just
- 18:35to heal us to heal our broken hearts.
- 18:37I could not fix my kids pain, and as a mom that is just that's
- 18:42almost as hard as you carrying your own pain knowing that your
- 18:46children are A something that is heart-wrenching and that you
- 18:49can't fix it. So when life imploded, it was
- 18:52the first time really, that I had found myself in a position
- 18:55of utter dependency on God, and all the other times it had been
- 19:00relegated, you know, I'd been through hard places.
- 19:02It had been like part of my life like maybe my finances or a
- 19:05health issue or a kid's issue, but this was like all of life.
- 19:09We are single income family. I was now parenting alone.
- 19:13My children, you know, just in every area.
- 19:16Area, just all my decision-making, I was so
- 19:20dependent on God and that is uncomfortable.
- 19:23If that place is it's really the place that we were created to be
- 19:28God created us to be fully and 100% dependent on him.
- 19:33And while I think as Christians most of us want to be in that
- 19:35place where we are 100% trust in God we don't so much want the
- 19:39circumstances that are going to cause us to get there but in
- 19:44that place I realized I can learn God and see him a ways.
- 19:48I never would otherwise you. It said in your book how we can
- 19:54hang on to hope and can you just kind of take us through?
- 19:58Like how does God reshape our broken heart when it's been
- 20:03shattered, like, it was for you and a million pieces?
- 20:07Like how do you pick up and get that?
- 20:11Hope again, when life implodes in any number of ways that it
- 20:15can It's easy to think that we are a victim of all of that
- 20:20circumstance and to a larger sense.
- 20:22We just talked about, we are not in control, and we do realize
- 20:25that and yet in that place, there are steps that we can take
- 20:29the our, our response is within our control.
- 20:33And I can tell you, like, I didn't so much do this, because
- 20:35I was so put together and so intentional, I was just
- 20:39desperate. To survive for God to pour hope
- 20:44and to me and to and to feel good again and it took a long,
- 20:50long time but the couple things really helped me and the first,
- 20:55is that every day, I would kind of get my kids started and then
- 20:59I would get away by myself in my minivan.
- 21:02Some people have a prayer closet, I have a minivan and it
- 21:05because it's the only place where it was quiet.
- 21:07Nobody could come in there. But, you know, first I would
- 21:11Yeah, I would just cry out to the Lord.
- 21:13I would Journal it out. I would pray and I would just
- 21:18give got all of my heart emotion and my hard questions and then I
- 21:23would pick up the word. So I was reading through the
- 21:25Bible for the year and I actually hadn't started that in
- 21:27January. I didn't Dan was actually
- 21:29reading through the Bible for a year and I picked up his journal
- 21:31and his his schedule and just picked it up in June and so,
- 21:36whatever was, you know, scheduled to be read that day.
- 21:39It might be Leviticus, it might be.
- 21:41So Arms no matter where I was, God would meet me on the pages
- 21:45of scripture and he would give me enough.
- 21:48Hope by reminding me of who he is his character or his
- 21:52promises. He would give me enough hope to
- 21:55go back into the house and be able to parent that day and do
- 21:59the tasks of that day and it wasn't enough for the whole
- 22:02week. I had to go back in the next day
- 22:04and do the same thing. I kept, I started to call it the
- 22:06Great Exchange because I would give God my Despair and my
- 22:09sadness. My loneliness, my fee, Fear my
- 22:12frustration you know our anger and then I would pick up his his
- 22:17hope his promises, his goodness and just be reminded that he was
- 22:23walking me through. That was a huge, huge game
- 22:27changer for me. And the other thing was that I
- 22:30started doing again, not because I had some, I was some
- 22:33altruistic person who just knew to do this.
- 22:36I was just desperate. I thought, if you would ask me,
- 22:39I would have said yeah. God is Ed, but I didn't see
- 22:43God's goodness from me in that and I needed see it in the life
- 22:48that felt so bad. I needed to see God's goodness
- 22:52and months into my grief journey.
- 22:54I just started to write like everyday had opened my journal
- 22:57and write a number one, through seven.
- 23:00And right, seven things I would pause and look back over the day
- 23:03before and see where God's hand had been.
- 23:06It might be little things like, you know, the robins redbreast
- 23:10coming, and Glittering all over the yard or the rain on the roof
- 23:13last night or that walk I got to take or that fun time.
- 23:17We had with the kids or the way you provided through this or
- 23:20coffee with a friend. It could have been any number of
- 23:22things but as I did that I as we thank God and focus on
- 23:30cultivating goodness and thankfulness gratitude in our
- 23:33life, God opens our eyes to more that he is doing.
- 23:38And so it's kind of this And where we thank God for all the
- 23:42goodness, he's doing, and he opens our eyes even more to the
- 23:46goodness. He's doing and then it helped me
- 23:48connect the dots, you know, things.
- 23:49I was praying for and how he was answering.
- 23:52So so many ways, those two practices really helped me, see
- 23:56that God had not dropped us. That God had not forgotten about
- 24:00us that though. This is not what I expected or
- 24:04wanted. And I would give it back in a
- 24:06minute that God's goodness was for us and that he was actively
- 24:10working in. Our Lives.
- 24:12Yeah, wow, that is beautiful and I love how you called it The
- 24:15Great Exchange and it really is his Living Word that brings us
- 24:21that peace, that surpasses all understanding, and the strength
- 24:25we need and going to it daily and I love how you just
- 24:29explained all of that. That that's what gives us our
- 24:32hope and makes us go back again to the Lord.
- 24:36He is our refuge every single day.
- 24:39You went back into that quiet time.
- 24:41To grab on to everything. He has to offer.
- 24:45And, wow, that is so inspiring to many of us listening.
- 24:52And you had said in your book that when we suffer a loss, God
- 24:58is not writing a plan. B for us.
- 25:02Instead, he is leading us toward chapter 2.
- 25:06Can you explain some of these ideas?
- 25:10I think that's a A great quote. Yes, this was so pivotal for me
- 25:15and it did not come early in my grief, it came somewhere in your
- 25:19to and I'd have to go back to my journals to find out when I
- 25:22realized this. But it was such a shift for me
- 25:27because one day I was in my minivan again and I was just
- 25:30either I thought it or I was journaling out like this is not
- 25:34the life I ordered. And this is not what I want and
- 25:38as I you know, that thought To the top of my thoughts, this
- 25:44followed, and that is that God has allowed it.
- 25:47And, as such it is not plan B that God while I didn't expect
- 25:52it. And well, I didn't see it coming
- 25:55that God did, and he doesn't give us the leftovers of a life.
- 26:00It's not like he turned his head or drop something for a minute.
- 26:04And now we're consigned to living out second best because
- 26:08God would never, he could never, Give his children second best
- 26:14and because God had allowed it by definition, it has as much,
- 26:18abundance and good and joy here, as there were and all the days
- 26:23before. And he know that was so
- 26:26eye-opening to me and it's not like, I immediately was like, oh
- 26:29okay, I feel better. But what it did do was it gave
- 26:33me like it realized my heart to the truth and it helped me lean
- 26:39into that until my Heart and my emotions caught up.
- 26:43That one day I would see that. Abundance and one day, I would
- 26:47see all that joy, and one day, I would see all that goodness.
- 26:50Again. I had seen pockets of it.
- 26:52I had seen that these sprinkled throughout, but that I would get
- 26:56to a place where I could say life is good again.
- 27:00And you have brought me through like the worst and the hardest
- 27:06that I never wanted. Wow, that's so good.
- 27:10So, where are you guys at? At now, like, how is life?
- 27:13Now you go? And now.
- 27:16Yeah, that's a great question. I love that.
- 27:19We are 10 years into this, which, if anybody is walk
- 27:22through any kind of Life implosion, you know, time warps
- 27:26and we kind of always it always becomes a fulcrum in our life
- 27:29like life before that date and life after that date.
- 27:32All right, you know, I was so fearful I fear for my kids, I
- 27:36feared that they would act out in their grief.
- 27:39I feared Getting them grown. You know, I thought getting
- 27:43these teen boys especially grown and launched without their
- 27:47six-foot-three, dad, how in the world?
- 27:48Am I going to do that? And I, you know, I had to take
- 27:52that. I had to really figure out how
- 27:54to deal with that fear. But, to be 10 years in and to
- 27:57see my kids flourishing, it is just such a gift because these
- 28:05were the days that I just, you know, I hoped God would bring
- 28:09and I had, Faith, that God will bring.
- 28:12But man, there is a big gap when you're standing in the shards of
- 28:16Brokenness and you cannot yet. See that and just that trust
- 28:23just that walking day in day out trust and listen, I did not
- 28:26parent perfectly through this. I made a lot of mistakes as I
- 28:30parented through this, but to see that God's mercy has kept us
- 28:36that he provided for us, that he gave me wisdom.
- 28:39That he provided People who would speak into my children for
- 28:43years. She'll but their games when they
- 28:45play job on their senior nights, God just has brought us through.
- 28:50And I would just tell anyone who's in that place, who was not
- 28:54in that place. Yet who's still standing in the
- 28:56shards of loss, to just do the hard work of grief, your hard
- 29:03work. You know, I love something 26,
- 29:05and it makes me cry, but I prayed that so often in Hope.
- 29:09And it says, as those who sow in tears will reap with sheaves of
- 29:13Joy, those who go out on. If I'm going to remember it
- 29:16correctly, those who go out, weeping will come back carrying
- 29:20sheaves of joy. And I just prayed that because I
- 29:25was sewing in tears, and I was sewing with with just deep
- 29:31weeping and to be here, now, not, that life is perfect.
- 29:35My life will never be perfect. Right there will always, I, we
- 29:38are waiting right now on a Apology report for one of my
- 29:42children, but God has walked us through, and my kids have seen
- 29:47God in ways that they never would have otherwise, right?
- 29:51Yeah, I mean, it just makes me tear up of how beautiful God is
- 29:56and his faithfulness and a praying mama.
- 30:00You were a Praying mama who drew herself to the word every day.
- 30:06And, you know, I'm sure there were times where you didn't feel
- 30:10like Like doing that but you knew like this is gonna be my
- 30:14anchor and this is how I'm going to be able to Mom.
- 30:18Best is only through God's strength and so you needed to
- 30:24have that time with the Lord and this is the fruit of a mom going
- 30:31after the Lord hard after something.
- 30:35So tragic and praying. This is the power.
- 30:40In prayer. And I love speaking on prayer on
- 30:44how big of a weapon it is for us and how it moves mountains and
- 30:51shifts atmospheres and it creates things that, you know,
- 30:57no other thing can. I mean it's just God, it has
- 31:01gone before us and he like you said, we don't get leftovers
- 31:06with him. We get the best and he's going
- 31:08to show up and turn. Everything for the good for his
- 31:12glory, to those who love him, and I just am in awe of his
- 31:19faithfulness and in awe of your obedience and just a example of
- 31:27what it is to be a Praying mama and being directed by the Lord
- 31:34and what his word says. And yeah, just complete
- 31:38surrender, I know that. Be there.
- 31:40Some people listening that are grieving right now or have gone
- 31:46through the process of grieving. I know, I like to ask the guests
- 31:51at take away that the listener can ponder on when they're done
- 31:56listening. So, do you have just a takeaway
- 32:00here to give us as we conclude this episode?
- 32:04Yeah, I'll just follow up on your remark about praying.
- 32:07Mama that just hit me. So So deeply just now and I you
- 32:13know, remember one day being at the beach and watching my then
- 32:19maybe he was maybe 11 years old. He had been six when his father
- 32:22passed away. 11 years old, walking up the beach, carrying
- 32:26his dad surfboard, and it just brought back a flood of memories
- 32:30because his dad had been a surfer Sitting in my chair
- 32:34watching him walk up toward me toward our towels thinking.
- 32:37This is not the childhood I wanted for you and in that place
- 32:43saying, but this is the childhood, God has allowed and
- 32:48the prayer. I have always prayed for my kids
- 32:50that they would love the Lord with all of their heart and soul
- 32:53and mind and strength, that maybe God can use this in ways
- 32:58that I never would have imagined or chosen.
- 33:03To answer that prayer and to be their God and ways that they
- 33:08see. So clearly you know, as we
- 33:11grieve together the pain when God walks us through, it's not
- 33:16that the pain goes away. There he will always be missed.
- 33:19I mean, I'm not in that raw active grief, I am through that
- 33:23appraisal or through that, but at every dinner, he is missed,
- 33:27and every Christmas at every graduation at every game, you
- 33:32know? For my child he's missed and yet
- 33:36God can just like you said for the praying Mama, God can answer
- 33:41our prayers for our child through circumstances we would
- 33:43never choose. You sure can okay where can
- 33:47people connect with you and and pick up this Puck.
- 33:50Sure you can find me at my website which is Lisa
- 33:53apollo'.com to peas 1 L that's kind of the Hub and you can pick
- 33:59up the book anywhere on hopefully in your local
- 34:01bookstore. I'd love that.
- 34:02Even maybe Library. You can request it there but you
- 34:05can pick it up anywhere online. Amazon christianbook.com life
- 34:08way. All those places so good.
- 34:11Well, Lisa, thank you for sharing the story and I gotta
- 34:15dry up here, I know, right? So it's like Ashes to beauty.
- 34:22And I mean, it's just how the Lord just will restore and
- 34:27redeem. And I just it's a beautiful
- 34:29thing. It's not beautiful to go through
- 34:32it, but What we see on the other side and and what he creates out
- 34:36of it, I'm so glad that you're here to share that with us.
- 34:41So thank you so much for giving us this hope and encouragement
- 34:46today. I'm so happy to be here.
- 34:48Thank you so much for asking such good questions and just
- 34:53creating this space. Thank you.
- 34:57Thank you so much for listening today.
- 35:00I trust that God has encouraged you through this message for
- 35:04more information on this ministry and to access free
- 35:08downloads. Please visit my website at Jamie
- 35:12Elizabeth.com and sign up. You can also find me on
- 35:17Instagram and Facebook at Jamie Elizabeth she speaks life.
- 35:24That's ja why. Mea Elizabeth, she speaks life.
- 35:31Until next time, my friends. I pray God, reveals himself
- 35:35through your own life story.