Latest / The Midlife Momma Podcast - Empty nest mom, Parenting adult children, Midlife transition, Christian mom / 189. Transitional Grief in the Empty Nest: How Christian Moms Can Cope with God’s Grace

Transcript

189. Transitional Grief in the Empty Nest: How Christian Moms Can Cope with God’s Grace · The Midlife Momma Podcast - Empty nest mom, Parenting adult children, Midlife transition, Christian mom

• 0:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Christian parenting.
• 0:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm Mama, I'm Pamela Incommon and you're listening to the Midlife Mama podcast.
• 0:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: The show for Christian moms who want to let go with grace and actually enjoy their emptiness.
• 0:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm a certified emptiness coach, speaker, and mom of five grown kids.
• 0:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: I know the challenges this season brings from letting go to setting healthy boundaries, to rediscovering your purpose, and reconnecting with your husband.
• 0:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Each week I'll be your guide.
• 0:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: offering heartfelt conversations, faith-filled encouragement and practical strategies to help you thrive in this next chapter.
• 0:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: My husband and I are loving the emptiness years and I have strong growing relationships with my adult kids and I want the same for you.
• 0:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Don't miss the end of each episode.
• 0:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'll share a quick coaching tip you can apply right away to improve your relationship with your kids or your spouse.
• 1:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: One favor before we dive in, if you find this episode helpful, would you leave a rating and review?
• 1:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: It helps other moms discover the show.
• 1:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's a link in the show notes with instructions.
• 1:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Make sure you're following the podcast, so you don't miss a single episode.
• 1:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now, let's get started.
• 1:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Hey mama, welcome back to the Midlife Mama podcast, the place for faith, friendship, and real talk for Christian empty nest moms.
• 1:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Today we're talking about a delicate topic that so many of us experience but rarely name.
• 1:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: Transitional grief in the empty nest.
• 1:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: If your house feels too quiet, if you miss the chatter, the mess, the daily rhythm of caring for your child, you are not alone.
• 1:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: transitional grief is that emotional valley between what was and what is still becoming.
• 1:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: And the good news with honesty, healthy coping, and God's grace.
• 1:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: This season can give way to peace and new purpose.
• 2:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: So grab your coffee, take a deep breath, and let's unpack what transitional grief looks like, how do I identify it, and the ways we can walk through it with Jesus by our side.
• 2:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: For most Christian moms, the wave of grief that follows launching a child is both uninspected and overwhelming, and it's completely normal.
• 2:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it happens with the first one and each sub-sequent child, and then, of course, when they're all gone, we really feel it.
• 2:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: Over night, the rhythm of daily life changes and the children who once filled the home with laughter questions or late night
• 2:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Mom's find themselves wishing for just one more ordinary day of packing lunches, hearing the front door slam, and over backpacks in the hallway.
• 2:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: So often I hear a mom say, I just missed the way it used to be.
• 2:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: I get it, because I was there too.
• 3:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: The silence can feel deafening.
• 3:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Walking past the child's empty bedroom can trigger a flood of tears, memories, and a painful awareness that life will never look quite the same.
• 3:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Mom's who once felt confident in their role suddenly feels shaky, disoriented, and unsure of their purpose.
• 3:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: The good news is that it is a season not a life sentence.
• 3:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: With honesty, healthy coping, you can move through this grief and discover new peace and purpose.
• 3:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: So let's identify it.
• 3:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: What is transitional grief?
• 3:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Transitional grief is the deep sadness that arises whenever life shifts in a significant way.
• 3:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: In the empty nest, it comes when your child leaves home in daily life as you've known it changes forever.
• 3:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: You may feel torn, proud, and excited to see your child step into the future, yet aching at the empty space they lead behind.
• 4:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: The tension is normal.
• 4:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's not weakness or failure.
• 4:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: It is the natural grief of letting go.
• 4:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: But the good news is this season has both the beginning and an end.
• 4:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: You won't feel this raw forever.
• 4:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: As Ecclesiastes 3-1 reminds us for everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven.
• 4:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Transitional grief is simply one of those seasons.
• 4:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: And as you trust God in the midst of it, you'll discover that he is not only present in your sorrow, but also faithful to lead you into peace, purpose, and even joy once again.
• 4:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Hi, promise.
• 4:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: how do I identify transitional grief?
• 4:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like other forms of grief transitional grief often shows up as deep sadness, heartache, or even loss of direction.
• 4:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: You may feel disoriented as the ground beneath your feet has shifted every day moments.
• 4:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: such as passing your children's empty room or setting one less place at the table or seeing a favorite photo can trigger waves of heaviness, melancholy, and even tears you didn't expect.
• 5:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Emotionally, it can feel overwhelming.
• 5:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Almost too big to carry.
• 5:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: And many moms try to outrun the pain by staying overly busy or distracting themselves, but the ache lingers.
• 5:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: You may catch yourself whispering, it shouldn't be this hard.
• 5:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: or when will this ache finally end?
• 5:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: The truth is, your grief is directly tied to the love you have for your child and the shift in your role as a mom.
• 5:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're not weaker broken because you feel undone, you're human, and you love deeply.
• 5:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Naming these emotions for what they are, in transitional grief, it's the first step toward moving through them with God's help.
• 5:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: So step number three,
• 5:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: we need to acknowledge it.
• 5:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: As moms, it is so tempting to outrun our grief to stay busy, distract ourselves or push the sadness down.
• 6:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: But here's the truth, what we refuse to face only gross heavier.
• 6:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: The first step toward healing is simple,
• 6:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Through prayer or journaling, you can begin to name what your heart is carrying.
• 6:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: When you identify your emotions, whether it's sadness, fear, disorientation, grief, or even a sense of loss, the weight starts to lift.
• 6:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Naming it brings it into the light where God's love can meet it.
• 6:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: As first Peter 5-7 reminds us, cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
• 6:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: So today take a quiet moment in your favorite chair, light a candle if you like, and sit with God.
• 6:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let the tears come.
• 6:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: Write down what feels heavy, call it by name, and then picture Christ's love covering it.
• 6:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: with comfort in peace.
• 6:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Ignalagement doesn't erase the grief, but it opens the door for God's healing presence.
• 6:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Hey Mama, if your house feels too quiet and your heart feels too heavy after launching your child, I've created a guide just for you.
• 7:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's called journaling through transitional grief.
• 7:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: A gentle, faith-filled resource to help you process the deep of motions of letting go.
• 7:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Inside you'll find six reflection questions that will help you name your feelings and invite God into the grief and experience his comfort in the middle of change.
• 7:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Remember, transitional grief is only a season and God is leading you toward peace, purpose, and joy.
• 7:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can grab your free copy at the link in the show notes.
• 7:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's talk about some healthy ways to cope.
• 7:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: As you process transitional grief, it's important to neither deny it nor let it swallow you whole.
• 7:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Healthy coping means finding ways to express your emotions without shame and without placing the weight on your child.
• 7:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Remember, your son or daughter should never feel responsible.
• 8:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: for managing your sadness.
• 8:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's a burden to heavy for them to carry.
• 8:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is yours to walk through.
• 8:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: So instead, turn towards safe and life-giving outlets.
• 8:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Share your heart with your husband or a trusted friend.
• 8:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Write out your prayers in a journal.
• 8:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: or talk with God on your daily walk, sometimes simply moving your body through exercise, stretching, or even a brisk walk can help alleviate the heaviness, so it doesn't get stuck inside.
• 8:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: And if the sadness lingers or becomes unmanageable, give yourself permission to seek professional support.
• 8:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: God often works through wise counselors, and there is no shame in getting the help you need.
• 8:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can also work with me, I coach moms through this so often.
• 8:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: I promise you, you can get to the other side of it.
• 8:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: As Proverbs 1114 reminds us, in the multitude of counselors there is safety.
• 9:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: The next thing you want to do is trust God through it.
• 9:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: In the middle of transitional grief, you are not abandoned.
• 9:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: God has promised His nearness.
• 9:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: In Hebrews 135, never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.
• 9:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Even when the house feels quiet in your heart aches, he is only a whisper away.
• 9:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because he knows every detail of your life, he can guide you step by step toward peace.
• 9:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Lean into him through prayer, scripture, worship, and community.
• 9:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: These are not just spiritual habits.
• 9:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: They are lifelines that anchor you when everything else feels unsteady.
• 9:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Cut is already provided the strength and comfort you need for this season.
• 9:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: The question is, will you choose to rely on him and let your faith deepen through the ache of letting go?
• 9:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: When you rest in this presence, you'll discover a comforting truth.
• 9:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: you are seen, held and deeply loved by a faithful father who is writing a new chapter in your life as well as your child's.
• 10:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: The last thing you can do is trust this grief will pass.
• 10:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: The beautiful truth about transitional grief is that it will not last forever.
• 10:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like the changing seasons, this tender chapter will eventually give way to something new.
• 10:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right now it may feel endless, but one day you'll notice the heaviness has lifted, the tears don't come as quickly and hope begins to rise again.
• 10:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: As you faithfully trust God and allow yourself to process the emotions, he will steady your steps.
• 10:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: You'll discover your footing, your identity, and even a fresh sense of purpose.
• 10:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: Just to Psalm 35 reminds us, weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.
• 10:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: This grief will one day become part of your story, a marker of our God carried you through, and the sweetest gift of all may be the deeper faith, resilience, and intimacy with him that you found along the way.
• 11:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Transitional grief may feel heavy now, but it won't last forever.
• 11:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: The tears, the silence, and the ache of missing your child are a part of love cost.
• 11:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: But there are also a part of love's beauty.
• 11:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: As you lean into God's presence, He will steady your heart, remind you of your true identity, Him, and open doors to fresh burpists.
• 11:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: So here's your coaching tip of the week.
• 11:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: In each episode, I will give you one actionable step to improve your life.
• 11:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Remember, you can't change everything, but you can take one step to be better.
• 11:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want you to take a moment to sit with God and then acknowledge the ache, grab a journal,
• 11:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: name it and write it down, then let the feelings flow onto the paper as you release it all to God.
• 11:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then ask God, what he wants you to know when you're done.
• 11:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: One day, you will look back and see how he carried you through the valley and gave you unexpected joy along the way.
• 12:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Mama, this is not the end of their, your story is the beginning of a new chapter, written by God's faithful hand.
• 12:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for spending this time with me today, and don't forget to grab my new guide, journaling through transitional grief.
• 12:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Inside, you'll find six reflection questions that will help you name your feelings, invite God into the grief and experience his comfort in the middle of change.
• 12:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Grab it at the link in the show notes.
• 12:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: If this episode encouraged you, would you share it with another mom who might be struggling to the emptiness?
• 12:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Grace and peace mama, you've got this and God's got you.
• 12:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: We'll see you next time.
• 12:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for spending time with me on the Midlife Mama Podcast.
• 12:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: I hope you leave each episode feeling a little more encouraged, equipped, and seen, because that's what this space is all about.
• 12:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Through the stories, insights, and conversations we share here, I'm coaching you through the ups and downs of the empty nest.
• 12:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Helping you rediscover purpose, deepen faith, and enjoy this new season of life.
• 13:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you're ready for an even more personalized support, I'd love to invite you to book a free connection call.
• 13:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: The link is in the show notes and we'll talk about how I can walk along side you as your coach.
• 13:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: And let's stay connected.
• 13:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Follow me on Instagram at P-Hanklman.
• 13:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's P-H-E-N-K-E-L-M-A-N, or come find me on Facebook at Pamela Hanklman, M-T-Nest Coach.
• 13:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to figure this all out on your own woman.
• 13:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm here for you when you're ready.