Latest / The Daily Writer / Joe Bukartek: Set Yourself Up for Success with Intentional Planning

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Joe Bukartek: Set Yourself Up for Success with Intentional Planning · The Daily Writer

0:13
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Sunday edition of the Daily Rider Podcast.
0:16
SPEAKER_00: Each weekday, we bring you a short lesson that helps you live out the four practices of a great rider.
0:21
SPEAKER_00: Creativity, consistency, courage, and connection.
0:25
SPEAKER_00: Here on the weekend editions, we take a deeper dive into those topics through conversations with riders, as well as teaching that helps us apply what we're learning.
0:33
SPEAKER_00: For more, you can visit us at dailyriderlife.com.
0:38
SPEAKER_00: Well, I hope your 2022 is off to a great start.
0:41
SPEAKER_00: Here it is at the end of January, and we've had a solid month to get some meaningful work done toward our goals.
0:46
SPEAKER_00: So I have to ask you, how are things going for you so far?
0:51
SPEAKER_00: You know, it's kind of sad to say, but the truth is that at this point in the year, even just a month into it, a lot of people have already given up on their goals.
0:58
SPEAKER_00: And they sit back and they go, well, maybe next year.
1:01
SPEAKER_00: And the pandemic and lots of change and all kinds of craziness happening in the world, that's only really added to the excuses that sometimes people have for just kind of giving up on their goals.
1:10
SPEAKER_00: And they they just say, Well, I'm gonna wait till life gets back to normal more, or I'm gonna wait till the pandemic is over, or I'm gonna wait till this or that, or whatever the situation is.
1:19
SPEAKER_00: But I want you to know that even if even if you have not made the progress that you wanted to so far this year, I mean, if you have, that's phenomenal.
1:27
SPEAKER_00: But the reality is that probably most of us have already felt here in this cold, freezing month of January.
1:32
SPEAKER_00: We've already felt a little bit of the humdrums, and it's sometimes hard to get motivated in January because it's so cold outside and you know we are in the middle of a global crisis and all that stuff.
1:42
SPEAKER_00: But I want you to know that it's never too late to make significant things happen in your writing, in your life, and in your business.
1:49
SPEAKER_00: Well, how do we do that exactly?
1:51
SPEAKER_00: Well, we do that by being intentional.
1:54
SPEAKER_00: Success in your writing and success in your life doesn't just happen by accident.
1:58
SPEAKER_00: Well, to that end, I am really excited today to have a guest on this episode who's going to help us do exactly that.
2:05
SPEAKER_00: His name is Joe Bukartech, and he's an intentional lifestyle coach.
2:09
SPEAKER_00: Joe is a former undergraduate academic advisor at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, where he supported thousands of students in achieving academic success.
2:19
SPEAKER_00: His first eight years post-undergrad, Joe worked in corporate America and finance and contracts in the DC metro area.
2:27
SPEAKER_00: After Joe's son was born, he redesigned his life to be intentionally more present with his family.
2:33
SPEAKER_00: And man, I cannot think of a better goal for someone to have than redesigning their life so they can become more intentional.
2:39
SPEAKER_00: Now, Joe is also the host of the excellent podcast Intentionally Ever After, which is not just a great title, but it's also a great podcast as well.
2:48
SPEAKER_00: So Joe is a coach, and Joe is really, really good at coaching.
2:52
SPEAKER_00: I had him as a guest on the Daily Writer community call a couple weeks ago.
2:56
SPEAKER_00: And on this call, we talked about being intentional with our goals, being intentional with our writings, and then some of our members on the call also talked about some speed bumps that they're encountering along the way.
3:07
SPEAKER_00: This was a really inspiring and fun conversation.
3:09
SPEAKER_00: And I'm so glad that Joe was able to join us because it was a such a great reminder that if we want to be successful, it ain't gonna happen by accident.
3:19
SPEAKER_00: It's gonna happen whenever we are intentional and whenever we have a goal and we pursue it with intentionality.
3:25
SPEAKER_00: And I think that's really cool that Joe has this whole concept of intentionality as sort of his main word in what he does, because that is such a critical uh element in our success.
3:36
SPEAKER_00: Now, before I get to this conversation, I've got to give a shout-out to two people.
3:40
SPEAKER_00: The first one is Joe's wife, Melanie, who is an author and an educator.
3:44
SPEAKER_00: She was introduced to me by our amazing mutual friend, Trisha Brooks.
3:48
SPEAKER_00: So, Trisha, who coaches speakers and is an author as well, she introduced me to Melanie, who then introduced me to her husband Joe.
3:56
SPEAKER_00: So I want to give uh Melanie and Trisha both a massive shout out here and thank them for the connection to uh Joe, who's simply amazing.
4:04
SPEAKER_00: So, with that said, let's get right to this Daily Rider community call with our special guest, Joe Bukartech.
4:11
SPEAKER_00: Hey, welcome to the January 2021 Daily Writer call.
4:15
SPEAKER_00: This is one of two calls that we're having this month.
4:17
SPEAKER_00: I'm so thrilled to have as a guest Joe Bukartech, who's a new friend of mine who was introduced to me actually by his wife, who's a writer as well.
4:26
SPEAKER_00: And I'm so thrilled that he's able to join us on this call because he is an expert in the the whole area of intentionality and what better topic to have as we kick off this year with this whole idea of being intentional with our goals and with our writing.
4:40
SPEAKER_00: So, Joe, welcome to the call.
4:42
SPEAKER_00: This is also going to double as a podcast episode.
4:45
SPEAKER_00: So we're kind of doing double duty with this today.
4:47
SPEAKER_00: So thanks for being here.
4:48
SPEAKER_00: I really appreciate it.
4:49
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
4:50
SPEAKER_02: I I love talking intentionality.
4:52
SPEAKER_02: So I'm I'm really looking forward to doing so through the lens of writing.
4:56
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
4:57
SPEAKER_00: So, where I'd like to start out with with this call, let's get into for a few minutes.
5:01
SPEAKER_00: If you can share with us your background of being involved as a coach, helping people with intentionality.
5:08
SPEAKER_00: I've never actually heard of anybody who deals with that specific of a thing with their coaching.
5:13
SPEAKER_00: And I'm really, really fascinated by this.
5:15
SPEAKER_00: So, how did you get into this and why is this area so so critical for us?
5:20
SPEAKER_00: Why why do you spend so much of your time thinking about this area of intentionality?
5:25
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
5:25
SPEAKER_02: So uh so prior to becoming a coach at all, I was an academic advisor, excuse me, at the University of Wisconsin, Madison, Go Badgers.
5:36
SPEAKER_02: Go act go higher education.
5:38
SPEAKER_02: Go higher ed, go academia, that's right.
5:40
SPEAKER_02: Um, where, you know, as a helping modality, I'm helping these students uh figure out what it is they want to do, in some cases just with their semester and others with their life.
5:51
SPEAKER_02: Uh, and so a lot of the questions we end up getting to is why?
5:54
SPEAKER_02: Why do this thing, other than just to check the box?
5:58
SPEAKER_02: And so that was one of the most rewarding things about my job as an advisor.
6:02
SPEAKER_02: Uh, and then along the way, I learned that coaching was a thing.
6:06
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
6:06
SPEAKER_02: And coaching, by definition, is helping a person get from where they are to where they want to be.
6:12
SPEAKER_02: And uh, I just really loved that idea.
6:15
SPEAKER_02: And I still love academia.
6:17
SPEAKER_02: However, at times found it to be somewhat limiting in that we had to operate within certain bounds, right?
6:25
SPEAKER_02: As far as uh graduation requirements, general education requirements, uh, you know, did you do your language requirement, this, that, the other, uh, scholarships, parents, you know, all kinds of things.
6:36
SPEAKER_02: So when I learned that I could work with anybody outside of any of those bounds, or, you know, in and out of those, and just focus on what they wanted regardless of what the limitations were, and figure out how they wanted to spend their time, with whom they wanted to spend their time, and learn how to live with intention.
6:57
SPEAKER_02: And oh, by the way, get paid for it because it's an actual job.
7:00
SPEAKER_02: I was sold.
7:02
SPEAKER_02: So that's when I learned how to get credentials and certified in becoming a coach.
7:07
SPEAKER_02: And really, what I do to this day, seven years later, is I help people figure out what it is they want in their life, and I help them insist upon it because the world is more than happy enough to give us what they want us to do, be it academia, be it jobs, be it family members, what have you.
7:26
SPEAKER_02: Right.
7:27
SPEAKER_02: There's constantly, constantly a demand for our time and attention.
7:31
SPEAKER_02: So if we take the time, if we prioritize the time to get clear on what an intentional life is for us, then we're a lot, we're a lot further ahead and a lot more likely to actually get that thing.
7:43
SPEAKER_02: So that's that's my very expansive answer to your excellent question.
7:49
SPEAKER_00: When you talk to people through coaching or or through other means as well, what do you feel like the common things are that people really want?
7:57
SPEAKER_00: So when you nail people down and you force them to articulate what it is that they want out of life, what are some of the most common things that you hear from people?
8:07
SPEAKER_02: Well, I have a very uh recent answer to that in the light of this pandemic that's now going on for almost two years.
8:14
SPEAKER_02: People want to feel connected to what they're doing.
8:16
SPEAKER_02: You know, there's a physical isolation that's been happening, as well as just either an academic or a career perspective, a relationship perspective, a disconnected feeling that people are having.
8:28
SPEAKER_02: And they want to feel like what they're doing matters, and people want to feel like they're getting some fulfillment out of it and not just on the hamster wheel, not just stuck in the rut, not just climbing the ladder of success that might be against the wrong building, if you've heard that metaphor.
8:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
8:45
SPEAKER_02: So people people want a sense of agency, they want to feel like they can get what they want, but they just might not know how to go about doing it.
8:54
SPEAKER_02: So that very generally applies to everybody that I work with.
9:00
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
9:01
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
9:02
SPEAKER_00: Do you work with with people in creative fields like writing, arts, music, those kinds of things?
9:08
SPEAKER_00: And if so, what do people who are doing creative kinds of work do they want exactly the same things everybody else wants?
9:16
SPEAKER_00: Or are creative types like writers somehow any any different on a fundamental level in terms of what they really tend to want in life?
9:24
SPEAKER_02: I love creative types.
9:26
SPEAKER_02: And the reason the reason being is we can explore and dream and be creative.
9:31
SPEAKER_02: Right?
9:32
SPEAKER_02: Creative types, be creative.
9:33
SPEAKER_02: But that's that's essential to figuring out.
9:36
SPEAKER_02: So I love doing an ideal day exercise or an ideal week exercise, right?
9:39
SPEAKER_02: Where you tap into if you could have anything you want, you have a genie with three wishes or win the lottery, whatever metaphor fits for you.
9:46
SPEAKER_02: If you could have anything, what would it be?
9:48
SPEAKER_02: Creative types are so much more able to tap into that idea more readily.
9:52
SPEAKER_02: Um, however, I do find the more rigid types that don't seem able to do it.
9:57
SPEAKER_02: I find it a bigger accomplishment when I can get them to become a creative type.
10:02
SPEAKER_02: But I love creative types are so good at getting that visioning down, right?
10:08
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes they tend to be less good at the execution part, right?
10:12
SPEAKER_02: Which is why the coaching is very beneficial.
10:15
SPEAKER_02: You're gonna hold someone to it, right?
10:17
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's a great idea.
10:19
SPEAKER_02: Now what?
10:19
SPEAKER_02: What are you gonna do about it?
10:21
SPEAKER_02: Right.
10:21
SPEAKER_02: But what I try, how do I try to approach it is let what do you want to try?
10:25
SPEAKER_02: Right?
10:26
SPEAKER_02: Let's let's let's lower the stakes a little bit, right?
10:28
SPEAKER_02: So many things can feel insurmountable, especially if you did an amazing job at visioning this future for yourself.
10:35
SPEAKER_02: But now it feels like, oh my gosh, I could never do that.
10:38
SPEAKER_02: I've got all this and this.
10:40
SPEAKER_02: So we try to give, try to give you space and grace to tackle this thing little by little.
10:45
SPEAKER_02: So any amount of progress towards that is gonna get you closer, right?
10:50
SPEAKER_02: And so that's what a coach, me, or someone else can help you to do is hold you accountable and get to getting to the vision that you want.
10:57
SPEAKER_02: And the creative types are so good at that beginning phase.
11:01
SPEAKER_02: So good.
11:01
SPEAKER_02: It's when we bring in the logistical part and start to hone that skill and that and build that muscle for them.
11:07
SPEAKER_02: That's when that's when the magic really starts to happen.
11:09
SPEAKER_02: It's it's great.
11:10
SPEAKER_02: I love it.
11:12
SPEAKER_00: What happens when somebody doesn't know what they want?
11:16
SPEAKER_00: So you know, all of all of us here are, you know, we're all involved in writing of different kinds.
11:21
SPEAKER_00: Some of us do client work, some of us are working on a book.
11:25
SPEAKER_00: Um, some of us, you know, we're all at different levels of kind of this writing journey.
11:30
SPEAKER_00: Do you ever work with people who they have an impulse to create something or to do something, but they don't really know what they want?
11:36
SPEAKER_00: They don't, they can't really envision what is the end goal, where is all this going?
11:40
SPEAKER_00: I very much felt like I lived most of my life there, to be honest with you.
11:44
SPEAKER_00: And it really wasn't until the last two or three years where I felt like I got a super clear vision of, okay, here's where I'm going with this, here's what I want to accomplish or build.
11:52
SPEAKER_00: But it took me a long time and a lot of really a lot of screw ups and a lot of mistakes to feel like I arrived at that place.
11:58
SPEAKER_00: So, how can you help somebody get there faster when they don't know what they want?
12:04
SPEAKER_00: Or is there a process for doing that?
12:06
SPEAKER_02: Oh, sure.
12:07
SPEAKER_02: Play, experiment, do, fail.
12:10
SPEAKER_02: Encouraging someone to take steps in and move and try something.
12:13
SPEAKER_02: Right.
12:14
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
12:14
SPEAKER_02: So that's when you were able to discover and find it.
12:16
SPEAKER_02: You won't know until after you've done it.
12:20
SPEAKER_02: Right?
12:20
SPEAKER_02: People say it was always meant to be.
12:23
SPEAKER_02: Bull blank.
12:24
SPEAKER_02: I don't know the rating of this podcast.
12:27
SPEAKER_02: It's it's not an explicit podcast.
12:28
SPEAKER_02: I try to limit their profanity.
12:30
SPEAKER_02: Good.
12:30
SPEAKER_02: Man, that's why I didn't think that's a good one.
12:32
SPEAKER_00: There's an occasional one that slips on from somebody, from a guest or something, but um yeah.
12:36
SPEAKER_02: So I I would say most people don't know.
12:39
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
12:40
SPEAKER_02: And so release the expectation that any that you know.
12:43
SPEAKER_02: Of course you don't know.
12:44
SPEAKER_02: If you do, you'd you'd be doing it, right?
12:47
SPEAKER_02: No, but well, let's start with what might it be?
12:49
SPEAKER_02: What could it be?
12:50
SPEAKER_02: What aspect of it feels pretty certain?
12:52
SPEAKER_02: What what feeling are you going for?
12:55
SPEAKER_02: What experience are you going for?
12:56
SPEAKER_02: And let's try that.
12:57
SPEAKER_02: And then we try it, we revisit it.
12:59
SPEAKER_02: How'd that go?
13:00
SPEAKER_02: What'd you like?
13:01
SPEAKER_02: Well, I really like that it was quiet, that no one else was around.
13:04
SPEAKER_02: All right, let's capture that, let's do that.
13:06
SPEAKER_02: What didn't you like so much?
13:08
SPEAKER_02: Uh I didn't like wearing slippers.
13:10
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
13:11
SPEAKER_02: It could be anything, right?
13:12
SPEAKER_02: But but just get curious about it.
13:14
SPEAKER_02: You try it, you do it, you refine it, and then guess what?
13:18
SPEAKER_02: You're doing a thing before you know it, you know that it was meant to be.
13:22
SPEAKER_02: Right?
13:23
SPEAKER_02: I think that comes afterwards, right?
13:25
SPEAKER_02: The narrative, you can change the narrative to whatever whatever you want it to be, right?
13:29
SPEAKER_02: And so you can say, Oh, I always knew.
13:32
SPEAKER_02: Okay, good, good for you.
13:34
SPEAKER_02: But trust try.
13:36
SPEAKER_02: Nobody really always knew, did they?
13:38
SPEAKER_02: I mean, come on.
13:39
SPEAKER_02: I don't believe people when they say that.
13:41
SPEAKER_02: No, I don't, I also don't.
13:42
SPEAKER_02: But I try not to call them out too harshly about it.
13:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, exactly.
13:47
SPEAKER_00: I think.
13:48
SPEAKER_02: I think it is, yeah.
13:49
SPEAKER_00: Can you talk to us more about this this idea of changing the narrative?
13:53
SPEAKER_00: This to me is really, really fascinating.
13:55
SPEAKER_00: And uh, you know, not everybody here on this call is from necessarily like a ministry slash religious slash church kind of a background.
14:04
SPEAKER_00: I come from that background, and and oftentimes in the church slash ministry leadership kind of world, there is a narrative that we have where if you do anything aside from working at a church or or being in some kind of a religious organization leadership role, that you're doing something that's kind of lesser than, or that maybe there's kind of this ethos sometimes where, well, you're you're really only doing your highest calling if you're working for a certain type of organization or a church or uh something like that.
14:35
SPEAKER_00: But the reality is that we can change the narrative and we have options in life.
14:40
SPEAKER_00: And a lot of that are just kind of narratives that people have put out there, you know, to justify this or that.
14:46
SPEAKER_00: So help help us understand, if you can, this idea of how can we empower ourselves to change the narrative to what we want in life and to what we feel called to do, um, whether we feel like that's our own internal calling, maybe we feel can some kind of spiritual calling, whatever it is.
15:04
SPEAKER_00: How can we have the power and the courage to change that narrative and not kind of be imprisoned by other people's narratives that they may want to impose on us?
15:13
SPEAKER_00: Sure.
15:14
SPEAKER_00: I feel like that was a really long and complicated.
15:16
SPEAKER_00: No, it's okay.
15:16
SPEAKER_02: You gave me a lot of meat on that bone.
15:18
SPEAKER_02: So let me let me just nibble away and you can redirect me.
15:21
SPEAKER_02: Um I think narratives can be tricky, um, that the ones that are imposed upon us or that are bestowed upon us, passed down to us, because there can be a lot of truth in them, right?
15:33
SPEAKER_02: And uh the challenge is when there's an unhelpful narrative that is partially true.
15:39
SPEAKER_02: It's it's hard to shake that.
15:41
SPEAKER_02: I would suggest that it's not always about, you know, uh discounting the narrative, the the former narrative that isn't helpful.
15:49
SPEAKER_02: But if it's not helpful, then then let's think about a new way of looking at it that is actually helpful, that that has more growth opportunity to it.
15:59
SPEAKER_02: And the the second piece about the narrative is you choose who you share that narrative with.
16:06
SPEAKER_02: If you know you're gonna go to a place that has a judgment about what you're doing or you're worried, don't tell them.
16:13
SPEAKER_02: Don't tell them.
16:14
SPEAKER_02: They're not the person to share it with.
16:16
SPEAKER_02: And the trickiest part can be when those people are closest to you, when you're they're part of your support system, be it family, be it church, be it fellowship, whatever.
16:25
SPEAKER_02: Traditionally they've been in that supportive role.
16:28
SPEAKER_02: The trickiest part can be when they're when they hold these beliefs or believe this narrative that is either harmful to you or just not helpful to you.
16:38
SPEAKER_02: So it I encourage people to find someone who they can be themselves with, who they can explore a new narrative, a new helpful narrative.
16:46
SPEAKER_02: And I'm not saying cut people out of your life, but that that happens in extreme cases and sometimes might be helpful.
16:52
SPEAKER_02: But in the instance where that's not reasonably what you're gonna do, choose what you share.
16:58
SPEAKER_02: Right?
16:58
SPEAKER_02: You can change your narrative with this individual over here who you know is gonna be a naysayer, right?
17:06
SPEAKER_02: You can choose to be a little more free-flowing and creative with a child, for example, who tends to have less judgment until you know their teenage years, and then it's all downhill from there.
17:16
SPEAKER_02: Um so it's really about if you choose to share something with someone and what you choose to share.
17:25
SPEAKER_02: But at the base of that, even before you decide to share it with someone else or not, what narrative are you telling yourself?
17:31
unknown: Right?
17:32
SPEAKER_02: Because we all have the ones we we have all the ones coming in, and so if the one you keep telling yourself because it's originally yours is probably not or not, is it helpful?
17:43
SPEAKER_02: And if it's not, cut it out.
17:46
SPEAKER_02: I know it's easier said than done.
17:47
SPEAKER_02: That is easier said than done.
17:49
SPEAKER_02: But I do believe it is that simple.
17:51
SPEAKER_02: I really do.
17:52
SPEAKER_02: Okay, and a huge part of what I do on an ongoing basis, I meet with my clients typically every week, I'm constantly reframing, reframing, reframing, reframing.
18:02
SPEAKER_02: I think that is such a powerful tool.
18:05
SPEAKER_02: You don't need someone else to do it for you.
18:07
SPEAKER_02: It's helpful to have someone call you out on an unhelpful narrative, right?
18:12
SPEAKER_02: It's self-talk is so important.
18:15
SPEAKER_02: It's so important.
18:16
SPEAKER_02: So if you catch yourself doing self-talk, okay, or repeating a narrative that isn't helpful, catch yourself as you're doing it.
18:24
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
18:25
SPEAKER_02: And again, it's not about saying it's oh, it's not correct, right?
18:29
SPEAKER_02: Let's say someone uh doesn't have a formal education in writing, for example, okay?
18:35
SPEAKER_02: I can't be a writer because I don't have this formal education.
18:38
SPEAKER_02: Well, in that moment, you're not gonna change that fact.
18:41
SPEAKER_02: You're not gonna change the fact that you don't have formal education, but that's really not helpful.
18:46
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
18:46
SPEAKER_02: What else can you tell yourself that's actually helpful?
18:50
SPEAKER_02: Something to the effect of, I don't know, it could be I'm doing pretty good given that I don't have a formal education.
18:57
SPEAKER_02: It's like, how great is it that I don't know all the, you know, prof the uh the rules of writing that I'm not limited by these rules of writing because I don't even know what they are.
19:07
SPEAKER_02: Cool.
19:07
SPEAKER_02: I'm unhindered, right?
19:10
SPEAKER_02: It it it really doesn't matter what it is, you just get it to the point, you tweak it to the point that actually helps you and and doesn't limit you.
19:19
SPEAKER_02: That's that's the key piece about the narrative.
19:24
SPEAKER_00: So so for for some of you on this call, what are some some things that you try to tell yourself to reinforce a positive narrative in your life?
19:34
SPEAKER_00: Uh things like I I am a writer, I can do this, I can build a business, I can, I can, I can write that first book, I can set up that blog.
19:44
SPEAKER_00: What are some of the ways that you try to to reinforce a positive narrative in your life?
19:49
SPEAKER_05: Um, I have one for you.
19:50
SPEAKER_05: So several years ago, when I was writing a book for my clients, um the thought popped in my head that I haven't done enough writing myself to be able to teach anyone about this.
20:03
SPEAKER_05: Like, you know, I haven't done enough.
20:04
SPEAKER_05: What have I actually done?
20:06
SPEAKER_05: And so I thought, okay, well, what have I done?
20:08
SPEAKER_05: I'm gonna argue this, I'm gonna speak truth to this thought that popped in my head.
20:12
SPEAKER_05: And so I made a list and it was more than 200 radio commercials and more than 300 articles, and like I it added up.
20:19
SPEAKER_05: And I looked at that on that page, I'm like, okay, voice of you know, imposter syndrome, you can shut up now.
20:24
SPEAKER_05: I'm going to do this thing.
20:25
SPEAKER_05: So once in a while it'll still pop up, like, who am I to?
20:29
SPEAKER_05: And I'm like, you know what?
20:30
SPEAKER_05: If I can help one person with it, I'm gonna go ahead and do it.
20:34
SPEAKER_02: That's really great.
20:35
SPEAKER_02: I love that one.
20:36
SPEAKER_02: That's good because you're also discounting.
20:39
SPEAKER_02: You're you're like you're calling it a liar.
20:41
SPEAKER_02: You're calling the voice a liar, the imposter voice a liar.
20:44
SPEAKER_02: That's great.
20:45
SPEAKER_02: Because it's not even entirely true.
20:46
SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay.
20:48
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
20:48
SPEAKER_02: Thank you for trying to help me.
20:50
SPEAKER_02: You're you're not helping me.
20:51
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna transfer your message.
20:54
SPEAKER_02: That's great.
20:56
SPEAKER_02: Cool, love it, Jennifer.
20:58
SPEAKER_00: That's great.
20:59
SPEAKER_01: Somebody else.
21:00
SPEAKER_01: Jennifer, I love what you said about even if this just helps one person.
21:06
SPEAKER_01: Um I think I'm a person that's always had uh an easy time being a visionary and getting grand ideas.
21:14
SPEAKER_01: But at times um it can become too grandiose and it never gets started.
21:19
SPEAKER_01: And that realizing some of the value of what the mission is still what I thought it should be.
21:26
SPEAKER_01: But I see when I pull back that the value is in the one-on-one conversations, it's in the one-on-one relationships to accomplish this instead of the grandiose plan.
21:38
SPEAKER_01: So the grandiose plan, make you know, maybe that'll come about one day, but being content with the fact for me, I as I say, this isn't a source of income.
21:45
SPEAKER_01: I'm a retiree, but having satisfaction and finding um, you know, benefit to the realization that you, yeah, you're already doing this.
21:56
SPEAKER_01: It's just not the grandiose thing you thought it should be.
21:59
SPEAKER_01: So I guess somehow.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: Stepping for me, stepping away from uh don't yeah, you know, so this kind of a go-no-go thing.
22:06
SPEAKER_01: It's either it's this big grandiose project and this big launch of a of a mission, or nothing, you know.
22:13
SPEAKER_01: Well, so anyway, I I I find that helpful to realize the the small one-on-one uh good things that are happening and let and be content with some of those and allow that to grow.
22:26
SPEAKER_01: And frankly, some of these things come to you uh as you're you're beginning to you know do whatever it is you're you're meant to do.
22:34
SPEAKER_01: I'm kind of random there, but the point is I love it that you said, you know, it doesn't have to, it could just be one or two people, and uh and I'm okay with that, and that's a good thing.
22:44
SPEAKER_00: Have you ever seen that that TLC show hoarders?
22:49
SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, where they have um they feature these, it's on the is it the learning channel, is that what TLC stands for?
22:56
SPEAKER_00: I watch sometimes YouTube recommends random things to me.
23:00
SPEAKER_00: I don't know why, but I've recently I've gotten into watching little snippets of some of those shows, and the hoarders show is all about these people who hoard stuff in their house, and they'll go in with a camera crew, and I don't think any of it's faked.
23:12
SPEAKER_00: I mean, it looks legit, where these people will just have stuff piled high in their house.
23:18
SPEAKER_00: Like you can barely walk through.
23:20
SPEAKER_00: They just they have this emotional need to just accumulate all this stuff, and then oftentimes you'll see a family member go into their house, and the family member will be trying to help them.
23:31
SPEAKER_00: And like the for this person is just like laying in the bed.
23:33
SPEAKER_00: They can't even move, they're so paralyzed by the overwhelming task of clearing out all this stuff of their house.
23:39
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I feel like that's what we struggle with as writers, is we have this grand vision of what we want to do.
23:44
SPEAKER_00: It's a book, we want to build a business, we want to do this or that.
23:48
SPEAKER_00: And it's so easy just to like sit there in your chair and just go, I don't even know where to start.
23:53
SPEAKER_00: This thing is so overwhelming to me.
23:55
SPEAKER_00: How do I, how do I get from here to there?
23:57
SPEAKER_00: So, Joe, when you have worked with people, what are some strategies that we can use if we want to be intentional about creating something that's really cool, whether it's writing a book or a business or whatever it is, what are some baby steps that we can take to stop being paralyzed and to actually move toward a big vision that we have?
24:19
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I like that you said baby steps too, by the way, because that that is an approach.
24:22
SPEAKER_02: Oftentimes we're trying to bite off way too much, right?
24:25
SPEAKER_02: We see the end, like so far away from the colour.
24:28
SPEAKER_02: Guilty as charged.
24:28
SPEAKER_02: Of course.
24:29
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
24:29
SPEAKER_02: Well, that's because you're a dreamer, right?
24:31
SPEAKER_02: You think big and and you're an achiever too.
24:33
SPEAKER_02: But unfortunately, what happens is the next next adventure that we're on, we just expect the very same thing.
24:39
SPEAKER_02: But we haven't built oftentimes we haven't built in the habit, right?
24:43
SPEAKER_02: And so not all of this has to be habit driven, but that's a great place to start, is is establishing a writing practice.
24:50
SPEAKER_02: I I kid you not, an hour and a half ago, I was on a call with a with a potential client who is attempting to write, right?
24:57
SPEAKER_02: And the imposter syndrome, is this any good, right?
25:00
SPEAKER_02: I'm sure none of you have ever heard that voice.
25:02
SPEAKER_02: This is probably crap.
25:03
SPEAKER_00: I heard it yesterday.
25:04
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, okay.
25:05
SPEAKER_02: In my own head.
25:06
SPEAKER_02: Well, in your own head, right?
25:07
SPEAKER_02: Ideally, it's not from somebody else.
25:08
SPEAKER_02: That's that's that's it's kind of harder to hear, but release the idea that it has to be good.
25:14
SPEAKER_02: The point isn't to be good.
25:17
SPEAKER_02: Yes, at the end you want it to be good, but that's not that's step 37.
25:22
SPEAKER_02: Okay, we're just trying to start writing.
25:24
SPEAKER_02: Okay, get thoughts on paper or out on whatever format you're using, get it out, right?
25:31
SPEAKER_02: Just establish that system and in forms of baby steps.
25:35
SPEAKER_02: Three minutes.
25:36
SPEAKER_02: If you're doing nothing, three minutes is progress, right?
25:40
SPEAKER_00: So Jennifer put a I want to highlight this.
25:42
SPEAKER_00: Sorry to interrupt you.
25:43
SPEAKER_00: Jennifer put a quote in the the uh chat.
25:46
SPEAKER_00: Step 37 is what your editor's for.
25:48
SPEAKER_00: Man, that is so true.
25:50
SPEAKER_00: Editors are like the lifeblood of the whole writing world, like legit.
25:55
SPEAKER_00: If you have a good editor, they they add so much to the whole process, it's just unbelievable.
26:00
SPEAKER_00: They make you sound so much better than you actually are.
26:03
SPEAKER_02: No, that's great.
26:05
SPEAKER_02: That falls in the category of outsourcing.
26:08
SPEAKER_02: I love me some outsourcing, yeah.
26:10
SPEAKER_02: Right, and not always in the traditional sense either, right?
26:12
SPEAKER_02: But if you find that you just keep hitting up against that wall, it's it's not always the best move to deconstruct that wall yourself or examine it.
26:21
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes you just need someone to take the wall down for it.
26:24
SPEAKER_02: Say, will you just take that wall down?
26:26
SPEAKER_02: I know what I need to do, but this wall, for whatever reason, right?
26:29
SPEAKER_02: I it's not, yes, sure, I can like go to school and learn how to be a wall deconstructor.
26:35
SPEAKER_02: Is there a wall deconstruction?
26:36
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
26:36
SPEAKER_02: Whatever that person would be.
26:37
SPEAKER_02: Somewhere there's a there's an online program called wall deconstruction, somewhere.
26:41
SPEAKER_02: Sure, there is, right?
26:42
SPEAKER_02: Do I want to go and go down the rabbit hole and spend all this time and energy and in the midst of my day-to-day life, and like three months later, maybe I have the certificate, which, oh, by the way, might not actually get me to take down that type of wall.
26:55
unknown: Yeah.
26:56
SPEAKER_02: Or do I spend five bucks or ask my friend who is an amateur wall taker downer and have them do it?
27:03
SPEAKER_02: I I do believe in the power of uh outsourcing, in this case, editing.
27:07
SPEAKER_02: What is the point?
27:08
SPEAKER_02: Always come back to what is the point here?
27:10
SPEAKER_02: I want to get good at writing.
27:12
SPEAKER_02: I want to eventually release this wonderful thing to the world.
27:15
SPEAKER_02: Start in the beginning, baby step, just just get writing.
27:20
SPEAKER_02: That part that you're gonna write right now isn't gonna go anywhere.
27:22
SPEAKER_02: Release that idea.
27:23
SPEAKER_02: Just just get into writing.
27:25
SPEAKER_02: When you have a lot of people.
27:26
SPEAKER_00: And who's the judge of that anyway?
27:28
SPEAKER_00: I mean, that that's something, and Jennifer and I have talked about this a lot.
27:32
SPEAKER_00: Um, or maybe I've talked about it with so many people I don't remember who I've talked about it too, but just the idea of who's really the the arbiter of what is quote unquote good writing.
27:42
SPEAKER_00: I mean, good writing in one context is bad writing in another context.
27:45
SPEAKER_00: I mean, that there's standards of grammar and punctuation and all that stuff.
27:48
SPEAKER_00: But really, who who really determines what is good writing?
27:51
SPEAKER_00: Ultimately, I define good writing as writing that achieves whatever you're wanting it to achieve for the given audience.
27:59
SPEAKER_00: And that looks really different according to who you're writing for.
28:01
SPEAKER_00: So we have some some sort of false uh that we we imagine like this judge sitting up there somewhere above us, you know, like condemning us with every word that we type.
28:11
SPEAKER_00: It's not good enough, it's not good enough, and it's just this completely false idea.
28:17
SPEAKER_00: Or maybe that's just me.
28:18
SPEAKER_02: No, I don't think it's just you.
28:20
SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm wondering.
28:21
SPEAKER_02: So the question I was just thinking of is who is this for?
28:24
SPEAKER_02: Right, as you're writing, who is this for?
28:26
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
28:27
SPEAKER_02: And I was thinking initially, who's the audience?
28:30
SPEAKER_02: But not even.
28:31
SPEAKER_02: I don't think it's even that.
28:32
SPEAKER_02: Like if it's for yourself, if you love to write and you're writing it, maybe no one buys it, but you are getting exactly what you want out of it.
28:42
SPEAKER_02: Success.
28:43
SPEAKER_02: You have to define the success.
28:45
SPEAKER_02: You define the bar, right?
28:46
SPEAKER_02: Many people probably do want to sell it, or you know, maybe that's that's part of the success.
28:52
SPEAKER_02: Then in that case, we determine who is the audience and what are they looking for.
28:58
SPEAKER_02: But really, what is the point?
29:00
SPEAKER_02: You can always, always, always come back to what is the point, right?
29:03
SPEAKER_02: Get good getting to the why, as Simon Sinek would say.
29:07
SPEAKER_02: Right?
29:07
SPEAKER_02: If you can, if you can dig back to that, why am I doing this?
29:10
SPEAKER_02: Really?
29:10
SPEAKER_02: Why am I doing this?
29:12
SPEAKER_02: That's going to provide so much clarity.
29:15
SPEAKER_00: And don't you think that's that's a good question to ask for writers as well?
29:20
SPEAKER_00: What is the end goal of this?
29:22
SPEAKER_00: What is the end game that we're trying to achieve?
29:24
SPEAKER_00: So many times we think of writing as the thing that we should be doing, but really writing is just a tool to accomplish something else.
29:30
SPEAKER_00: Writing doesn't really have a goal in itself, except to achieve another end.
29:36
SPEAKER_00: I mean, writing is just a means to another end, the way I see it.
29:39
SPEAKER_00: Uh, particularly if we're talking about writing for an audience.
29:42
SPEAKER_00: Now, I think there's a lot of value to journaling and those kinds of things for internal processes and just sometimes just venting or whatever.
29:49
SPEAKER_00: That has a ton of value.
29:50
SPEAKER_00: But I mean, writing books, writing articles, doing client work, that has that has a purpose that the writing is supposed to help achieve.
29:57
SPEAKER_00: So so many times we just get hung up on the writing aspect when the writing is just a tool to achieve something, some other purpose or some other goal.
30:05
SPEAKER_00: That's the way I look at it.
30:07
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, I think that's valid.
30:09
SPEAKER_02: The I think as you're doing that, as you're as you're going towards that, it can be different for everyone, but I'm sure there's some commonalities in your industry.
30:17
SPEAKER_02: But what's what's limiting me right now?
30:19
SPEAKER_02: What's holding me back?
30:20
SPEAKER_02: And I'm wondering, and maybe we can open this up if that's okay.
30:24
SPEAKER_02: What are some of the common obstacles or barriers or even the speed bumps?
30:30
unknown: Right?
30:31
SPEAKER_02: If they don't stop you completely, what are the some of the things that as you're going towards this journey, you know what the end you want it to be?
30:36
SPEAKER_02: What are some of the things that slow you down or stop you?
30:41
SPEAKER_00: Can we just can we just open it up for some engagement here?
30:46
SPEAKER_00: Um, because I really want this to be helpful for everybody here.
30:49
SPEAKER_00: Anyone want to kind of stick your neck out there?
30:51
SPEAKER_00: What are some some speed bumps that are holding you back right now?
30:56
SPEAKER_00: Or at least one speed bump that's holding you back.
31:00
SPEAKER_05: One of mine is too many irons in the fire.
31:04
SPEAKER_05: That's a pretty common theme in my life.
31:07
SPEAKER_05: Um, so Kent knows that I have um more than a dozen manuscripts that are in progress sitting on my computer that need to be finalized and published.
31:18
SPEAKER_05: So um that's a big hurdle for me.
31:23
SPEAKER_02: Oh, can I ask follow-up questions?
31:26
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
31:27
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
31:27
SPEAKER_02: Oh man, I'm totally interested.
31:29
SPEAKER_05: I know it's coming.
31:29
SPEAKER_05: I know let's roll.
31:30
SPEAKER_05: Let's roll.
31:31
SPEAKER_05: No, no, no, no, no.
31:32
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so so to reframe again of kind of the approach that the lens through which I'm I'm always viewing things, uh, as a coach, I ask questions.
31:39
SPEAKER_02: I'm just constantly asking questions.
31:41
SPEAKER_02: So as much as I have been pontificating here recently, it's so much about the individual that I'm speaking with and what their experience is, right?
31:50
SPEAKER_02: So my first wondering is why do you have so many irons?
31:54
SPEAKER_02: You said too many, right?
31:57
SPEAKER_02: So in your own estimation, you have too many.
32:00
SPEAKER_02: So why?
32:03
SPEAKER_05: Um part of it has to be um people pleasing.
32:08
SPEAKER_05: That definitely has to be in there.
32:10
SPEAKER_05: Um, wanting to provide the solution to this, that, and the other thing.
32:14
SPEAKER_05: And ADHD distractability.
32:18
SPEAKER_05: Um, that definitely factors in to so and then I know that there's that that little voice of imposter syndrome that's still there that like, and I tell people, okay, so hypocrite here, right?
32:32
SPEAKER_05: I tell people done is better than perfect.
32:34
SPEAKER_05: And yet I have a dozen manuscripts that are not done on my computer.
32:40
SPEAKER_02: Sure.
32:41
SPEAKER_02: Do what I say, not what I do, right?
32:42
SPEAKER_02: That's that's super common.
32:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
32:46
SPEAKER_02: Well, that that is that's a very common affliction.
32:48
SPEAKER_02: So it sounds like you have a value, uh value of people pleasing.
32:53
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
32:54
SPEAKER_02: So not going into therapy mode, right?
32:58
SPEAKER_02: But what to what end?
32:59
SPEAKER_02: What's what's the value that you hold around doing something for someone?
33:07
SPEAKER_05: Um it gives me purpose.
33:12
SPEAKER_05: Like that's why I exist, is to serve others.
33:16
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
33:17
SPEAKER_02: And how do you best serve others?
33:19
SPEAKER_02: What's your best form of serving others?
33:24
SPEAKER_05: Usually it's helping them to accomplish their goals.
33:27
unknown: Okay.
33:29
SPEAKER_02: And how do you how do you see that through the lens of writing?
33:36
SPEAKER_05: Usually I'm helping them with their writing and pushing mine to the back burner.
33:41
SPEAKER_02: And to be most effective at that, what do you need?
33:45
SPEAKER_05: Could you say that again?
33:46
SPEAKER_02: To be most effective at pushing them through, what do you need?
33:52
SPEAKER_05: Well, I have a proven process that I walk them through.
33:57
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
33:58
SPEAKER_02: And what what is what is particular without you having to reveal the secret sauce here?
34:02
SPEAKER_02: What's what is what is key for that process to happen?
34:05
SPEAKER_02: What do you need to have in place?
34:10
unknown: Okay.
34:11
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
34:11
unknown: Okay.
34:12
SPEAKER_02: Michael's got a good point.
34:13
SPEAKER_02: All right.
34:13
SPEAKER_02: Getting more specific here.
34:15
SPEAKER_02: Do you have a specific duration of time per phase or well?
34:21
SPEAKER_05: When I first start somebody off, I tell them set a timer for two minutes.
34:25
SPEAKER_05: Um, but with the program that I'm leading a group of people through right now, it's one hour per day or 2,000 words, whichever they choose.
34:34
unknown: Okay.
34:36
SPEAKER_02: So I'm gonna I'm gonna take, in the interest of time here, I'm gonna take a couple of liberties and take like seven steps ahead and assume that the conversation is gonna go this way.
34:46
SPEAKER_02: We're gonna look at your how you're spending your time.
34:48
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
34:49
SPEAKER_02: What your calendar, for example, actually looks like.
34:52
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
34:53
SPEAKER_02: Do are you giving enough time?
34:55
SPEAKER_02: Are you insisting upon enough time to successfully do the thing you want to do the way you want to do it?
35:01
SPEAKER_05: No, I've postponed that for the next Yes, of course, right?
35:05
SPEAKER_02: I knew that was the answer.
35:06
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
35:07
SPEAKER_02: And so what shift?
35:08
SPEAKER_02: Where is the shift?
35:09
SPEAKER_02: The shift is likely in what you're insisting upon, in what you're saying no to.
35:14
SPEAKER_02: And you're you're saying no to other irons, but how could you possibly?
35:18
SPEAKER_02: You're a people pleaser.
35:19
SPEAKER_02: Well, the reason you're doing so is because it's very important to you to live in integrity with your values, and that is to provide a kick butt product, right, for the people that you work with.
35:32
SPEAKER_02: And in order to do so, it requires this.
35:34
SPEAKER_02: This it's a lot more principled of an answer, right?
35:38
SPEAKER_02: And that's something that you can still be that people pleaser.
35:41
SPEAKER_02: In fact, that's what's gonna anchor you, but you're gonna do it in a more deliberate fashion.
35:48
SPEAKER_02: Does that make sense?
35:50
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
35:51
SPEAKER_02: It is easier said than done, but man, when you can simplify it down to that, it's like, well, of course I'm gonna do that, right?
35:59
SPEAKER_02: But what we would do next is then identify what are the things that challenge your ability to do so.
36:04
SPEAKER_02: And and one of the things it sounds like is other irons, right?
36:08
SPEAKER_02: But if you have that messaging of this is who I am, this is my integrity, I'm really good at what I do, then that person's gonna be like, I'll wait for that.
36:16
SPEAKER_02: I need that.
36:17
SPEAKER_02: And if it takes two months, three weeks, whatever it is, until you know that you have the space, but it's it's getting a little more disciplined in some cases with with choosing to respect your calendar.
36:33
SPEAKER_02: Thank you for playing along, by the way.
36:35
SPEAKER_07: Anytime.
36:40
SPEAKER_00: We have somebody else wants to uh go on the diving board.
36:45
SPEAKER_00: This is very helpful.
36:48
SPEAKER_03: I'll jump in and be the next one.
36:50
SPEAKER_00: Awesome.
36:52
SPEAKER_03: Uh right right now, what holds me back is two things lack of knowledge and experience, and primarily the lack of knowledge and experience is associated with the fact that I am totally remaking myself.
37:12
SPEAKER_03: I've totally changed geographical locations from where I once lived, and I'm now pursuing two paths that for me are equally brand new, not equal in every respect.
37:30
SPEAKER_03: Uh, one of them is homesteading, and the other one is ghostwriting, and just writing in general as well.
37:40
SPEAKER_03: So I would have to say, in each case, often what holds me back is a lack of knowledge or experience to sometimes even know what is next.
37:54
SPEAKER_02: May I attempt a reframe?
37:58
SPEAKER_03: Sure.
37:59
SPEAKER_02: What a wonderful way to inform your trajectory.
38:04
SPEAKER_02: That's not actually what's holding you back, that's telling you where to go.
38:08
SPEAKER_02: Seemingly, right?
38:10
SPEAKER_02: Cool.
38:11
SPEAKER_02: You're doing these new exciting things that you want to be doing.
38:14
SPEAKER_02: You made the difficult decision to say no to something else so that you could do these things.
38:18
SPEAKER_02: Seems to me like that's that's where the the results are.
38:23
SPEAKER_02: Go into that, lean into that.
38:28
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and I guess I guess the real holding back part is sometimes just not knowing the next steps.
38:36
SPEAKER_02: That's fair.
38:38
SPEAKER_03: That's the tough part for me.
38:42
SPEAKER_02: Um do you believe that there is one true next step?
38:47
SPEAKER_03: Always.
38:58
SPEAKER_03: It's just the next step.
39:01
SPEAKER_03: That there's never there's never a wrong step.
39:06
SPEAKER_02: Okay then.
39:07
SPEAKER_02: Then that sounds even better.
39:09
SPEAKER_02: If you already believe that to be true, right?
39:14
SPEAKER_02: Then any step forward, any step towards experience, towards learning, towards education would be correct, would be the thing to do.
39:25
SPEAKER_02: Do you see it differently?
39:27
SPEAKER_02: No.
39:29
SPEAKER_02: Well, that sounds exciting.
39:33
SPEAKER_02: Right?
39:35
SPEAKER_02: Oh, it is exciting.
39:36
SPEAKER_03: It is exciting for me because I I'm definitely, I definitely am convinced I'm I'm where I need to be and on the path I need to be on.
39:47
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
39:48
SPEAKER_02: Yes, absolutely.
39:50
SPEAKER_02: So back to that old narrative of you being stuck, I don't know why you even said that.
39:53
SPEAKER_02: That doesn't make sense.
39:56
SPEAKER_02: Certainly not helpful, right?
39:59
SPEAKER_02: Right.
40:00
SPEAKER_02: I love being at this phase that I'm in right now where I get to learn new things.
40:04
SPEAKER_02: Things that I'm really excited about.
40:06
SPEAKER_02: And I'm making this part of my life.
40:08
SPEAKER_02: It's so important to me.
40:11
SPEAKER_02: Wonderful.
40:13
SPEAKER_02: Great.
40:14
SPEAKER_02: It's so important to me that I make sure that I'm doing X before next weekend, before next month, before next Christmas, before whatever.
40:25
SPEAKER_02: Setting a setting a timeline to whatever the it is, enrolling in a course, looking at a YouTube video, calling up a friend who I know dabbles in this area as well.
40:33
SPEAKER_02: It could be anything, really.
40:38
SPEAKER_03: And and that frequently is what I find myself self-doing is just okay, who's the next who's the next person I can listen to?
40:47
SPEAKER_03: What's the next book chapter I can read, or what person can I run to to ask advice?
40:55
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
40:56
SPEAKER_02: So it sounds to me like you're wildly successful at what you're doing.
41:00
SPEAKER_02: You just weren't updating your narrative around it.
41:03
unknown: Hmm.
41:04
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and it also at times seems too too too slow.
41:09
SPEAKER_02: Ah, that's fair.
41:10
SPEAKER_02: That's fair.
41:10
SPEAKER_02: That's actually what I was just gonna say.
41:12
SPEAKER_02: If you feel like it is, turn up the heat.
41:15
SPEAKER_02: Challenge yourself.
41:16
SPEAKER_02: That means you can handle more, to me.
41:18
SPEAKER_02: Not knowing the specific details at this point, it sounds like you can handle more.
41:22
SPEAKER_02: Challenge yourself.
41:24
SPEAKER_03: That that is that is a cool way of looking at it.
41:28
SPEAKER_03: Because I frequently feel like it's just going too slow.
41:32
SPEAKER_03: So I just I just need to crank crank the volume up.
41:35
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
41:36
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
41:37
SPEAKER_02: A uh, I'm sorry, I didn't get your name.
41:40
SPEAKER_02: Michael?
41:41
SPEAKER_02: It's Mike.
41:42
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
41:42
SPEAKER_02: Mike.
41:43
SPEAKER_02: Mike is fine.
41:44
SPEAKER_02: I challenge you.
41:45
SPEAKER_02: You think about this, you don't have to answer right now, but I challenge you before the end of this call to make a bold statement of what you're going to do next.
41:55
SPEAKER_03: In front of everyone.
41:56
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely in front of everyone.
41:58
SPEAKER_02: So it's recorded too.
42:01
SPEAKER_00: You wouldn't be here if you didn't want to be challenged in some way, right?
42:04
SPEAKER_03: Oh, listen, this this group, this is comfortable.
42:09
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, this group, this group for me is a god sand.
42:14
SPEAKER_00: I mean, if you if you wanted to be comfortable, let's just end this call and you know go watch Boba Fett another time on Disney Plus or something.
42:22
SPEAKER_02: Can I share something for the viewing audience that only people can see on the cam?
42:27
SPEAKER_00: Be willing to be uncomfortable.
42:29
SPEAKER_02: Love that.
42:30
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
42:31
SPEAKER_02: Totally agree.
42:33
SPEAKER_02: It's lots of stickiness because of how much I use this post-it note.
42:36
SPEAKER_02: And I hold it up constantly for people.
42:38
SPEAKER_02: Be willing to be uncomfortable, right?
42:40
SPEAKER_02: Life's hard anyway.
42:41
SPEAKER_02: Life's hard regardless of what you're doing.
42:44
SPEAKER_02: Why not be intentional about it?
42:45
SPEAKER_02: Life is going to be hard.
42:46
SPEAKER_02: The hard is not to be avoided, right?
42:49
SPEAKER_02: Yep.
42:50
SPEAKER_00: Yep.
42:52
SPEAKER_00: Increasingly, I really feel like, and man, Joe, this is just such good stuff.
42:56
SPEAKER_00: It really, really is.
42:58
SPEAKER_00: I increasingly feel like the difference between people who do things worthwhile, who accomplish things that are worthwhile, people who don't, it really has nothing to do with personality or talent or skill or anything like that that we normally think it is.
43:13
SPEAKER_00: I think it's all about the willingness to just do something.
43:16
SPEAKER_00: And you put you put yourself out there, you try something, you fail, you try it again, you figure it out.
43:21
SPEAKER_00: You take action and you just, you just, you have some movement toward whatever it is that you want to do.
43:27
SPEAKER_00: That that increasingly seems like the determining factor of people who are willing to make mistakes and get uncomfortable and to do things that don't feel good and sometimes feel super awkward.
43:41
SPEAKER_02: I I agree.
43:42
SPEAKER_02: I agree a hundred percent, except to say it, what if it actually doesn't have to be uncomfortable?
43:48
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
43:49
SPEAKER_02: But if you're if you're willing to be uncomfortable, great, right?
43:53
SPEAKER_02: But oh my gosh, what if it works out really well?
43:56
SPEAKER_02: It's new and scary for you, and it turns out, oh, that wasn't so bad.
43:59
SPEAKER_07: Hmm.
44:00
SPEAKER_02: Right.
44:01
SPEAKER_02: Oftentimes that is the case.
44:02
SPEAKER_02: Our fears are often very undefined and nebulous.
44:05
SPEAKER_02: And that's what keeps us at bay.
44:08
SPEAKER_02: I've got a few more step into that.
44:10
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
44:11
SPEAKER_02: I think that's where the magic is.
44:13
SPEAKER_00: I've got a few more things to ask you about, but I want to make sure and we get through any questions that anybody has for Joe.
44:20
SPEAKER_00: So while Joe's here, anybody else wanna want to take a stab at this?
44:23
SPEAKER_00: You know, what are what's the speed bump that's holding you back or causing you some some friction?
44:28
SPEAKER_00: Or any other questions about this topic?
44:30
SPEAKER_00: Wanna wanna throw Joe's away while we've got him here?
44:36
SPEAKER_02: Don't be shy.
44:38
SPEAKER_02: You can make it hypothetical.
44:40
SPEAKER_02: A friend of yours.
44:41
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
44:41
SPEAKER_00: Right.
44:42
SPEAKER_00: Asking for a friend.
44:45
SPEAKER_01: Okay, I'll jump in.
44:47
SPEAKER_01: This is Perry.
44:49
SPEAKER_01: Hi Perry.
44:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I find that uh usually there's uh something comes along in the way of some kind of personal discouragement, but I really believe it's usually fear, uh, you know, fear of not doing something uh well enough that uh I'll choose.
45:12
SPEAKER_01: So I'm retired, so I have a lot of freedom of choice in what I do.
45:18
SPEAKER_01: But uh, and so I've been able to accomplish some big things that I really have wanted to do in retirement, and that's good.
45:24
SPEAKER_01: But I do find that in the midst of those, if I if I find that I'm up against uh a difficult part of that task, um I may, you know, the self-talk, I may get discouraged and decide, well, this isn't really turning out the way you want it, and and I'll just kind of back off and go do something else for a while.
45:43
SPEAKER_01: So anyway, a a procrastination that can be, like I said, I think you know, there can be an element of fear, self-doubt, uh, that you're that I fight there.
45:54
SPEAKER_01: Um Jennifer talked about, you know, the imposter syndrome or something else.
45:58
SPEAKER_01: And so you withdraw, you know, you just I stopped going to the Daily Writer, you know, uh sign on group here because it's like, gee, I'm I actually did make a bold statement about what I was gonna do, and now here you are.
46:10
SPEAKER_01: You know, it's been months, and here we are, you know, we're no further along.
46:15
SPEAKER_01: Um so uh anyway, I guess I I look for uh besides making that bold statement, um, overcoming maybe that self-doubt or fear and uh and you know moving forward in a way that will help you accomplish the you know the the book that you want to finish and others no, thank you for sharing.
46:37
SPEAKER_02: I think I think that's very common, excuse me, is you know we we make these uh hopes, dreams, goals, and you know, maybe we even boldly share them with someone, and then we'd end up not doing it.
46:50
SPEAKER_02: We end up changing our mind, maybe entirely changing our trajectory.
46:53
SPEAKER_02: Ah, now what?
46:54
SPEAKER_02: Right?
46:55
SPEAKER_02: I think that's that's a very common thing.
46:57
SPEAKER_02: Um, own it, I think.
47:02
SPEAKER_02: It's it's a very human thing.
47:04
SPEAKER_02: So you're not, I would actually uh call out one thing that you said in that you're exactly where you had been.
47:11
SPEAKER_02: You're never exactly where you had been.
47:13
SPEAKER_02: Right.
47:14
SPEAKER_02: Time has passed, experience has been lived to either inform, to reinforce that, yeah, this is still a thing I want to do, but I'm not sure exactly how.
47:24
SPEAKER_02: These things keep confusing me or getting in the way or what have you.
47:28
SPEAKER_02: Or, you know, I'm kind of losing some steam here, other things are coming up.
47:32
SPEAKER_02: You're always getting new data and new information, new data points.
47:36
SPEAKER_02: So I I don't believe you're ever exactly where you were at.
47:39
SPEAKER_02: Now, if the data points are pointing to the fact that I still have just as much desire and motivation to do this thing, and I haven't made it, then it's time for reflection on what, okay, why?
47:51
SPEAKER_02: Okay, what has been getting in the way?
47:53
SPEAKER_02: And often it's about reducing expectations about that very next step.
47:58
SPEAKER_02: Right?
47:58
SPEAKER_02: It's it's releasing some expectation that the very next step is wildly successful.
48:04
SPEAKER_02: Chop it down often is one one thing, or changing the goal.
48:08
SPEAKER_02: Not the end goal, but maybe that what you believe the next step to be.
48:13
SPEAKER_02: And I'm a fan of oversimplifying things, right?
48:15
SPEAKER_02: So in a in a non-uh writing example, it would be someone who wants to get back into shape, right?
48:22
SPEAKER_02: No one ever says that, especially beginning of the year, right?
48:25
SPEAKER_02: Going for a run, someone who used to be a runner and never was a runner.
48:28
SPEAKER_02: You put you acquire a pair of running shoes.
48:30
SPEAKER_02: Maybe you don't even have that.
48:32
SPEAKER_02: That's the goal.
48:33
SPEAKER_02: It's not I'm gonna join the gym and go five days a week.
48:36
SPEAKER_02: No.
48:37
SPEAKER_02: That's again, step 37.
48:41
SPEAKER_02: First, reevaluate.
48:42
SPEAKER_02: Do I still feel the same way I did when I made that bold statement?
48:46
SPEAKER_02: Yes or no?
48:46
SPEAKER_02: That's gonna decide very quickly what where you go next.
48:50
SPEAKER_02: And then if it's yes, it's like, what do I need to do differently?
48:56
SPEAKER_02: So actually, without asking you your specific bold statement, I won't do that to you, but do you feel the same way about that statement that you did when you made it?
49:05
SPEAKER_01: I I do.
49:06
SPEAKER_01: I think, for instance, the idea of turning over a manuscript to uh Jennifer, you know, to do editing on, I'm you know, definitely afraid of it just not being, you know, is there so I begin to view the writing in the manuscript through the lens of, you know, I don't know if this is really that good, you know.
49:24
SPEAKER_01: I mean, anyway, so um, but I yes, I I I do feel recommitted to the idea and the I think there's value there.
49:33
SPEAKER_01: And and as Jennifer said, uh I'm not really worried about the you know reaching the million mark on my book sales.
49:40
SPEAKER_01: But I but to me, what I feel is important is uh the opportunity to influence in some positive way through storytelling of this.
49:49
SPEAKER_01: So that's you know, I I would be happy if someone were and and you know, even in its limited form, you know, as Kence may be more familiar with my blog through the years, I've I've always gotten a lot of good feedback from the writing and feeling like some of the illustrations and things can help.
50:04
SPEAKER_01: So anyway, I I do yeah, you're you're helping me realize that I'm I'm uh really need to just uh take a closer look at that next step and not get so wrapped around the axle about worried about uh step 37 there.
50:21
SPEAKER_02: It it's amazing how simple it can be, right?
50:23
SPEAKER_02: When we call it out when we look at it, because so often we just inundate ourselves with all the superfluous details that are not again, it's not that they're not true somehow, some way, but they're just not helpful.
50:35
SPEAKER_02: They're limiting you, they're limiting progress, right?
50:38
SPEAKER_02: And that's what we want to try to reduce, eliminate, or avoid.
50:43
SPEAKER_05: And may I um say something that might help allay some of that fear?
50:49
SPEAKER_05: Perry, um the worst, like anything, the worst writing that you can produce will not compare to the worst writing that I have cleaned up.
51:02
SPEAKER_05: So an example, an example, a 100,000-word manuscript, more than 50,000 errors, actual errors, not suggestions, not improvements, actual errors.
51:15
SPEAKER_05: So for every two words, one had something wrong with it.
51:18
SPEAKER_05: It was misspelled or it's misused or whatever.
51:21
SPEAKER_05: You cannot, even if you tried, be that bad.
51:26
SPEAKER_05: So please don't worry, it will be fine, okay?
51:30
SPEAKER_00: Jennifer, I apologize repeatedly for that book.
51:33
SPEAKER_00: And I was going to say, I'd be bringing up my book.
51:36
SPEAKER_02: I knew, I knew it.
51:37
SPEAKER_02: But actually, let me seriously though, Jennifer, what did you do with that?
51:42
SPEAKER_05: I cleaned it up, I fixed it, I corrected all of the errors.
51:46
SPEAKER_02: That person outsourced it.
51:47
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
51:48
SPEAKER_02: Right?
51:48
SPEAKER_02: Because they did the best they could at that point and they outsourced it to you and they moved the needle.
51:53
SPEAKER_02: They moved forward, right?
51:55
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
51:57
SPEAKER_00: You know, this this is a good point.
51:58
SPEAKER_00: So my wife, this has been probably three or four weeks ago.
52:01
SPEAKER_00: She came in and um she said, Oh, hey, my friend, she's got a friend, Stephanie.
52:06
SPEAKER_00: My friend Steph had a friend who wrote a book, and she gave me a copy.
52:12
SPEAKER_00: She gave me this book.
52:13
SPEAKER_00: I don't remember what it was.
52:14
SPEAKER_00: It was it was like a Christian book of some kind, and it had, I think, the worst book cover I've ever seen in my whole life.
52:20
SPEAKER_00: It was like this horrendous hand-drawn thing.
52:24
SPEAKER_00: And I flipped through it, and the formatting was all really whacked out, and it was really, really bad.
52:30
SPEAKER_00: But I looked at it and I said to my wife, well, she wrote a book.
52:34
SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's there's a lot of things I would change about it, but she put a book out into the world, and I have to commend that.
52:40
SPEAKER_00: I think that's really respectable.
52:42
SPEAKER_00: So it's like even if you think it's it's bad, it you're still moving forward and you can still fix it later, you know.
52:49
SPEAKER_00: So anytime that I see a book that there's all kinds of things that I would do differently, I'm like, hey, mad respect to that to that person.
52:56
SPEAKER_00: They put a book out there, and I I love that.
53:01
SPEAKER_00: And my and apologies to the editor who's got to clean up all those mistakes.
53:06
SPEAKER_00: Those poor editors.
53:07
SPEAKER_00: Well, we have a few minutes left.
53:09
SPEAKER_00: Um, Phyllis, glad you could pop on here with us.
53:12
SPEAKER_00: Um uh Mariah, Jeff, any any questions you guys want to shoot out there in our final few minutes for Joe or anything anybody else wants to uh put out there?
53:28
SPEAKER_04: Um, I would say what I'm dealing with right now is almost the opposite of like where Perry's at.
53:35
SPEAKER_04: I have four small children and I'm homeschooling and I also run in the history of my church.
53:41
SPEAKER_04: So my time is very um in demand.
53:46
SPEAKER_04: I have very uh little, um, you can find your mind right now.
53:52
SPEAKER_04: Like I have very little um, you know, not little, but I'm saying I feel like my time gets segmented out for me a little bit, like in advance.
54:02
SPEAKER_04: And so I'm struggling um in my own mind thinking this is the right time for this.
54:08
SPEAKER_04: I'm going, maybe I need to wait till they're older, you know, but I'm trying to take steps forward because I because I do think this is the right time for it.
54:18
SPEAKER_04: So I'm trying to, you know, make those steps and take progress, be part of the, you know, do things like that.
54:24
SPEAKER_04: But it I really am struggling with that thought.
54:27
SPEAKER_04: I really, you know, do feel like I do have some level of skill in writing.
54:32
SPEAKER_04: I'm really not in that mode, but like just the idea of like you're in the wrong time, this is the wrong moment, and you're doing the wrong three thing.
54:41
SPEAKER_04: That that's what I'm going with right now.
54:44
SPEAKER_02: Thank you for sharing that.
54:46
SPEAKER_02: May I may I jump in, Kent?
54:47
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
54:48
SPEAKER_02: Of course.
54:50
SPEAKER_02: So uh yeah, you have a very real set of circumstances, right?
54:55
SPEAKER_02: Everyone's life has their own particular set of circumstances and obligations, responsibilities, priorities, right?
55:01
SPEAKER_02: I think if you if you be reasonable with yourself, you want to engage with this right now.
55:06
SPEAKER_02: I think that's wonderful.
55:08
SPEAKER_02: But but look at your bandwidth, right?
55:11
SPEAKER_02: What can you commit to that that still gives you what you're looking for, which you would have to figure out what that is.
55:19
SPEAKER_02: Like what level of engagement do you want from this that where you can still tap into that, right?
55:24
SPEAKER_02: Making whatever degree of progress, but also just really tapping into that experience and that feeling seems like that would be some marker of success here.
55:31
SPEAKER_02: But also that fits with your current lifestyle, the current state of things.
55:36
SPEAKER_02: And a lot of people have had to factor the pandemic into this, right?
55:39
SPEAKER_02: That's been more of a universal adjustment, but you have your very specific set of circumstances, and you won't be able to commit the hours each day or that that someone else might be in a different situation, right?
55:53
SPEAKER_02: You have people with different financial circumstances, people with different, you know, career uh retirement circumstances too.
56:00
SPEAKER_02: There's going to be different markers.
56:02
SPEAKER_02: So identifying what are the pieces that you have, what's your bandwidth that's available, and still getting what you want, but determining very specifically what that version is for you.
56:12
SPEAKER_02: I think it's great.
56:14
SPEAKER_02: It sounds like you're you're energized by engaging with the book writing.
56:19
SPEAKER_02: So keep that.
56:20
SPEAKER_02: Don't get rid of that.
56:21
SPEAKER_02: Right?
56:22
SPEAKER_02: Sign find whatever version of that you can that makes sense for your current state.
56:29
SPEAKER_05: Thank you.
56:31
SPEAKER_02: Good luck.
56:32
SPEAKER_02: I think it's great advice.
56:34
SPEAKER_02: Whatever version of it you find, it's worth it.
56:37
SPEAKER_02: Deferred happiness is is never usually the best plan.
56:42
SPEAKER_04: Thank you for saying that.
56:43
SPEAKER_00: And you know, it is it's honestly really surprising what you can get done in 10 minutes or 15 minutes.
56:49
SPEAKER_00: A lot of a lot of really great books have been written in 15 minute chucks.
56:53
SPEAKER_00: They really have.
56:54
SPEAKER_02: I believe it.
56:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
56:56
SPEAKER_00: Joe, this has been a blast.
56:58
SPEAKER_00: I really appreciate you hopping on with this.
57:00
SPEAKER_00: Um, I've learned a ton today.
57:02
SPEAKER_00: I appreciate all the questions.
57:03
SPEAKER_00: I appreciate all you guys hopping on.
57:05
SPEAKER_00: And I again, I I know I say this all the time, but I never take this this lightly.
57:09
SPEAKER_00: I don't ever take it for granted that that all of you set it set aside an hour to jump on these calls and invest time into this.
57:17
SPEAKER_00: It means a lot to me.
57:18
SPEAKER_00: And I hope that you find it valuable.
57:20
SPEAKER_00: So um, as always, the calls are recorded, and this is gonna go up on the podcast as well as in the the vault on member vault.
57:27
SPEAKER_00: So you can access this later if you want to.
57:29
SPEAKER_00: So, Joe, thanks again for doing this.
57:31
SPEAKER_00: If people want to follow up with you, this is kind of my podcast ending, but I'll throw it in here.
57:36
SPEAKER_00: How can people get in touch with you and where can they find out more about your coaching and all the cool stuff that you're doing?
57:41
SPEAKER_02: Oh, cool.
57:42
SPEAKER_02: Well, the great thing about my very unique name, it is very googlable.
57:45
SPEAKER_02: So you can Google it Joe Bukartech.
57:48
SPEAKER_02: That is B-U-K-A-R-T-E-K.
57:53
SPEAKER_02: Um, I also have joebucartech.com.
57:56
SPEAKER_02: Um, but I I just want everyone to find someone, identify someone either in their life, ideally that they have already, where they can just be lifted up.
58:05
SPEAKER_02: Okay, someone who's gonna help reframe for them their negative self-talk or the old narratives.
58:12
SPEAKER_02: Everyone deserves to have a place like that or someone like that.
58:14
SPEAKER_02: If you don't have that, call me, email me.
58:17
SPEAKER_02: I'll be that person for you.
58:18
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
58:19
SPEAKER_02: But everyone deserves that.
58:20
SPEAKER_02: Um so Kent, thank you for inviting me along.
58:23
SPEAKER_02: It's been great.
58:24
SPEAKER_02: Um, really appreciate the the folks I got to chat with and who shared their personal stories.
58:29
SPEAKER_02: Um you know, if you ever want to invite me back, I wouldn't wouldn't mind.
58:34
SPEAKER_02: It'd be uh it'd be great.
58:35
SPEAKER_02: I really you're being very intentional.
58:37
SPEAKER_02: Interact with each other.
58:38
SPEAKER_02: That's right.
58:39
SPEAKER_02: That's right.
58:41
SPEAKER_02: That's right.
58:42
SPEAKER_02: I'd try.
58:44
unknown: Cool.
58:44
SPEAKER_00: Well, thanks again, Joe.
58:45
SPEAKER_00: This has been a blast.
58:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it really has.
58:48
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
58:50
SPEAKER_00: Well, I don't know about you, but I found this conversation really, really challenging and really, really inspiring.
58:57
SPEAKER_00: I think about goals that I have for my life, and many of those, which over the years I have dreamed about and have not met, some of them I have met.
59:05
SPEAKER_00: And as I think about the difference between those two things, the ones that I have met is because I was intentional about those things.
59:13
SPEAKER_00: I think about starting this podcast all these years ago and changing it a couple times along the way.
59:18
SPEAKER_00: And how did that happen?
59:19
SPEAKER_00: Because I was intentional.
59:20
SPEAKER_00: I think about building a ghostwriting business, or I think about uh writing my last couple of books, or I think about the books I'm working on for release this year.
59:28
SPEAKER_00: How do those things happen?
59:29
SPEAKER_00: They happen because I was intentional.
59:31
SPEAKER_00: And having this conversation with Joe in our daily writer group has really made me realize if I want to achieve all the things that I want to achieve this year, I've got to be even more intentional about that.
59:42
SPEAKER_00: So, what about you?
59:43
SPEAKER_00: What about the things that you want to accomplish this year?
59:45
SPEAKER_00: Are you being intentional about those?
59:48
SPEAKER_00: Are you putting systems into place?
59:50
SPEAKER_00: Are you developing relationships?
59:52
SPEAKER_00: Are you doing things on a daily basis to achieve your writing goals?
59:55
SPEAKER_00: Or in a bigger picture, your just your overall life and business goals.
1:00:00
SPEAKER_00: You know, how we spend our days is how we spend our lives.
1:00:03
SPEAKER_00: So we've got to make sure that we're living and using our time with intention, as Joe tells us.
1:00:08
SPEAKER_00: And I again, I just love that concept of being intentional with our lives and with our time and with our goals.
1:00:14
SPEAKER_00: Well, I want to give Joe a huge thank you for being a guest on our Daily Writer Community Call and for allowing me to feature this conversation here on our podcast.
1:00:22
SPEAKER_00: I also want to encourage you to check out Joe's podcast, which is called Intentionally Ever After.
1:00:27
SPEAKER_00: And there will be a link to that in the show notes.
1:00:29
SPEAKER_00: And I want to encourage you to go to Joe's website and book a complimentary coaching session with him.
1:00:34
SPEAKER_00: And I guarantee that when you talk with Joe, you're gonna not only have a lot of fun, but you're gonna get some insights and wisdom that you will not have gotten otherwise.
1:00:42
SPEAKER_00: So Joe is just a very, very insightful, wise person who is also a really, really phenomenal listener.
1:00:49
SPEAKER_00: And man, in our in our day and age when everybody's talking but nobody's listening, that is an incredibly rare gift that Joe brings to the table.
1:00:57
SPEAKER_00: So make sure that make sure and do those two things.
1:01:00
SPEAKER_00: I know that you're gonna be blessed when you uh connect with Joe.
1:01:03
SPEAKER_00: Again, thanks so much for listening.
1:01:04
SPEAKER_00: Hope you enjoyed this episode.
1:01:05
SPEAKER_00: And if you want to be around cool people like this, like Joe and other guest experts, as well as our amazing Daily Rider community, make sure and check it out.
1:01:13
SPEAKER_00: You can go to dailyriderlife.com slash community for more information on joining our amazing group.
1:01:19
SPEAKER_00: Thanks so much for listening, and I will see you in the next episode.