Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #886 Get Set for Schoolies With Paul Dillon

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#886 Get Set for Schoolies With Paul Dillon · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

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  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast.
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  Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time Paul parent who just
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  Speaker 2: wants answers.
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  Speaker 1: Now today, somebody that I'm just alighted to talk with
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  Speaker 1: again on the podcast. He's been on The Happy Family
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  Speaker 1: Podcast a couple of times now. Paul Dylan. He is
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  Speaker 1: an author, an education consultant. He is also the director
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  Speaker 1: of Data, Drug and Alcohol Research and Training Australia. Paul
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  Speaker 1: has been speaking to I don't know, something like seven
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  Speaker 1: hundred bajillion kids and parents and educators on an every day,
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  Speaker 1: every year basis. I don't know any speaker in Australia
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  Speaker 1: who has booked out as much as Paul Dylan. And
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  Speaker 1: he's kindly taken a little bit of time to have
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  Speaker 1: a chat with us today because school is just around
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  Speaker 1: the corner. Paul, you've got a bit of a frog
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  Speaker 1: in your throat and you're not one hundred percent, so
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  Speaker 1: really appreciate that you've taken some time to have a
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  Speaker 1: chat about something that a lot of parents of school
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  Speaker 1: leaders are starting to get little bit worried about right now.
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  Speaker 2: Not a problem, justin thank you very much for inviting
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  Speaker 2: me to be a part of it again. And yeah,
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  Speaker 2: unfortunately throat in fiction. So apologies to anyone listening. It
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  Speaker 2: does sound a little bit like mixed between Rod Stewart
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  Speaker 2: and Brenda Acaro. At the moment, it's not a particularly
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  Speaker 2: pleasant sound.
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  Speaker 1: Well, we talked about changing the time, but you insisted
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  Speaker 1: that we should do it today and I'm grateful. So
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  Speaker 1: at the moment a year twelve wrapping up. We're in
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  Speaker 1: the early part of November. We've got kids that are
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  Speaker 1: heading off to schoolies in the next couple of weeks.
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  Speaker 1: It's only just around the corner now, Gold Coast, Victor
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  Speaker 1: Harbor and South Australia. In WA it's called the Lever's
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  Speaker 1: Party or the Leaver's Time. I've got a daughter who's
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  Speaker 1: doing Year twelve right now. She's thinking about going to
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  Speaker 1: Barley with a couple of friends. I have reservations about that, Paul,
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  Speaker 1: and so I just want to have a chat with
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  Speaker 1: you about the general school is vibe. You've been to
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  Speaker 1: schools a few times as an older observer and have
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  Speaker 1: participated in some of the organizational aspects of it. What
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  Speaker 1: would you think Because the media hypes it up right,
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  Speaker 1: the media says schoolies is a couple of weeks of
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  Speaker 1: Year twelve school leavers, debauchery and drunkenness, and anything that
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  Speaker 1: you can imagine going wrong will go wrong. What's your
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  Speaker 1: experience and would you agree with that general media hope.
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  Speaker 2: Well, I've been to quite a few schoolings events over
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  Speaker 2: the years.
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  Speaker 3: Recently.
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  Speaker 2: I think I went to the Gold Coast one in
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  Speaker 2: twenty nineteen, just before COVID, and I went to the
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  Speaker 2: Victor Harvill when I think in maybe twenty sixteen. The
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  Speaker 2: other one is a little bit long ago. But look,
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  Speaker 2: in my experience, I find I've found them to be
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  Speaker 2: incredibly well organized. Young people are out to absolutely have
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  Speaker 2: a good time. But did I see incredibly poor drunken
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  Speaker 2: behavior and kids lying around in gutters and fights and
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  Speaker 2: things like that. Absolutely not. No, that doesn't mean it
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  Speaker 2: doesn't happen. Of course, those kind of stories, and we
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  Speaker 2: have had some tragedies occur over it over the years
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  Speaker 2: at schools events. But for the most part, I think
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  Speaker 2: these are very well organized. And if young people go
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  Speaker 2: to those well organized events, those ones that like the
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  Speaker 2: Gold Coast one, for example, Victor Harbor in Wa It's bustleton,
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  Speaker 2: they actually have a really good time. And I think parents,
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  Speaker 2: for the most part, can be fairly confident that their
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  Speaker 2: kids are as safe as possible.
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  Speaker 1: I think that this distinction is probably pretty important for
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  Speaker 1: most parents. I know that Barley's becoming increasingly popular. Before
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  Speaker 1: we chatted on the podcast just now, you were mentioning
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  Speaker 1: Fiji is really becoming quite popular for Sydney siders and
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  Speaker 1: maybe those in Melbourne as well. And Byron Bay has
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  Speaker 1: obviously started to really escalate in the last few years
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  Speaker 1: with Byron Bays and just the hype around the place.
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  Speaker 1: They're not all organized and there's a lot of stuff
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  Speaker 1: that happens even on the Gold Coast, Victor Harbor, Buston, wherever,
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  Speaker 1: where there are kids that are doing stuff not at
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  Speaker 1: the organized activities. And your real specialty is alcohol and
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  Speaker 1: are the drugs The risks that kids are facing, I
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  Speaker 1: presume are essentially going to be drug related. Is that reasonable?
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  Speaker 3: Certainly alcohol related, I mean that's really what it is.
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  Speaker 2: Other drugs certainly come into it for some young people,
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  Speaker 2: but the vast majority, it is alcohol that is the
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  Speaker 2: most significant issue, because I mean many of them will
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  Speaker 2: be eighteen and certainly they can access alcohol if they
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  Speaker 2: don't access if they can't access it themselves. Quite often
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  Speaker 2: the parents are providing it to them, So alcohol is
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  Speaker 2: the absolutely number one Look the last couple of school
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  Speaker 2: with events I went to, certainly it was obvious that
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  Speaker 2: there was more illisted drug use than I.
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  Speaker 3: Had seen in the previous years.
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  Speaker 2: Certainly not completely kind of crazy, and you know, you
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  Speaker 2: weren't seeing open drug markets and in the middle of
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  Speaker 2: the street or anything like that. I think what we
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  Speaker 2: have to remember is that young people are their adolescents.
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  Speaker 3: Their brains are wide in a different way.
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  Speaker 2: They don't always make the best decisions, and what's happening
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  Speaker 2: is they're all kind of a mass in this one place,
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  Speaker 2: and yeah, things can go wrong and bad decisions can
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  Speaker 2: be made. But I think it all really comes down
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  Speaker 2: to the foundations that parents have set years and years
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  Speaker 2: before when it comes to these kind of situations. If
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  Speaker 2: they have good, strong family values they have, a young
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  Speaker 2: person is not going to all of a sudden make
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  Speaker 2: a decision to take them the legal drug if it's
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  Speaker 2: just not in them to do that.
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  Speaker 3: But certainly those young people.
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  Speaker 2: Who want to do that are going to be able
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  Speaker 2: to access them in these environments.
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  Speaker 3: I think the real concern.
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  Speaker 2: About school is that has occurred over the recent times
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  Speaker 2: is this move to for some reason to transport your
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  Speaker 2: child to another country. I mean, that is just beyond me.
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  Speaker 2: I mean, why would you think that it would be
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  Speaker 2: a good idea for school leavans to go to a
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  Speaker 2: place like Bali. Fiji is exactly the same. These are
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  Speaker 2: once again very much organized events. They go into a
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  Speaker 2: resort and it's just massive. Young people are kept in
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  Speaker 2: a resort in Fiji and then Ballei they kind of
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  Speaker 2: go wild around. Yeah, this whole notion of parents thinking
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  Speaker 2: that somehow that is safer than the Gold Coast, and
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  Speaker 2: that is certainly one of the reasons why parents started
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  Speaker 2: sending their kids to Fiji. They didn't want to send
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  Speaker 2: them to the Gold Coast. They perceived that as far.
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  Speaker 3: More dangerous, and it was kind of like have you
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  Speaker 3: been there?
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  Speaker 2: You know, all they're seeing is the media and not
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  Speaker 2: realizing that actually it is a very well controlled event. Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: So I've got my third daughter finishing year twelve just now,
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  Speaker 1: and she's still up in the air about whether or
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  Speaker 1: not to go with a few of her friends. They're
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  Speaker 1: going to Bali. The prices are astronomical now, and I
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  Speaker 1: don't think she's going to be there. But we're having
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  Speaker 1: these ongoing conversations, we'd rather stay here.
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  Speaker 2: To be quite honest, if you're asking to go to Bali,
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  Speaker 2: you're on a very specific type of holiday. You want
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  Speaker 2: to be away from mum and dad as far as
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  Speaker 2: humanly possible, and it's a drinking holiday Ballei. To be honest,
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  Speaker 2: I mean, if you look at most young people who
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  Speaker 2: are going, you speak to the red Frogs who go
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  Speaker 2: there for Bali, they say it's a very different culture
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  Speaker 2: than the ones who would go to say, for example,
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  Speaker 2: the Gold Coastal Barron.
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  Speaker 1: This is doctor Justin COURSONIM here with Paul Dylan. He's
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  Speaker 1: a professional speaker, the head of data, and somebody who
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  Speaker 1: knows more about what our kids are getting up to
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  Speaker 1: when it comes to alcohol and other drugs than pretty
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  Speaker 1: much anybody in the nation, if not the planet. Paul kids,
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  Speaker 1: whether it's fifty percent or seventy percent or thirty percent,
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  Speaker 1: there's going to be a whole lot of them at
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  Speaker 1: schools this year, probably the biggest school is that we've
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  Speaker 1: had in a few years, as a result of the
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  Speaker 1: bounce back from the COVID restrictions. If parents have got
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  Speaker 1: kids that are thinking of heading away, whether the organized
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  Speaker 1: activities or to their own activities somewhere smaller with a
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  Speaker 1: small group of friends. What do you think the top
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  Speaker 1: three conversations are that we need to be having with them.
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  Speaker 2: I always say the most important if you're worried about
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  Speaker 2: if you're worried about them going. My number one question
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  Speaker 2: I always say to parents you should ask your child
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  Speaker 2: is tell me why I shouldn't be worried. It's a
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  Speaker 2: really really, really really good question to ask young people
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  Speaker 2: because it doesn't put them on the spot about what
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  Speaker 2: are you going to do? Or I'm worried about you
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  Speaker 2: doing this or worried about that. It's basically saying to them, Okay,
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  Speaker 2: I want you to really think about it and give
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  Speaker 2: me the reasons why I shouldn't be worried. And hopefully
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  Speaker 2: what that does is it will it will encourage them
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  Speaker 2: to kind of say, well, my friends have been put
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  Speaker 2: putting this and this and this into place, we have
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  Speaker 2: thought through this. You know, that kind of question is
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  Speaker 2: really really powerful. And when I've tested that with kids
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  Speaker 2: and said well what would you answer?
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  Speaker 3: How would you answer that? With your parents? They come
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  Speaker 3: up with great answers.
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  Speaker 2: It's like, you know, oh, we will always have a
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  Speaker 2: designated person you know who does not drink. We will
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  Speaker 2: make sure that you know, we have a set amount
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  Speaker 2: of alcohol and we do not drink anymore after that.
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  Speaker 2: We don't go and purchase more afterwards. Simple things like
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  Speaker 2: that that kids can come up with, and it will
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  Speaker 2: lease parents' minds as well, because you know, these kids
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  Speaker 2: are growing up and to be quite honest, school is
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  Speaker 2: the last opportunity.
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  Speaker 3: Parents will ever have to us. So it's kind of questions.
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  Speaker 2: Because they're now, you know, they're now actually legally adults,
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  Speaker 2: and to turn around and try to put restrictions on
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  Speaker 2: young people when they're when when are older than eighteen.
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  Speaker 3: Or over is really really hard.
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  Speaker 2: Now, of course, what happens in your home is actually
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  Speaker 2: you know, you have your rules about what happens at
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  Speaker 2: home and if you want them to come home and
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  Speaker 2: not come home drunk and blah blah blah blah blah. Absolutely,
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  Speaker 2: to my mind, you abstlually have the right. They could
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  Speaker 2: be thirty five years old. It's your rules and your family.
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  Speaker 2: I mean, my father has that and I'm sixty two.
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  Speaker 2: But I think when it comes to school, it's that
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  Speaker 2: perfect opportunity to have that very last conversation about a
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  Speaker 2: whole range of issues and really putting it onto their mouth.
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  Speaker 3: How are you going to look after yourself? Show tell
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  Speaker 3: me why I shouldn't be one.
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  Speaker 1: I'm just thinking about one or two other conversation pieces
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  Speaker 1: that we might have with our kids. Something that strikes
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  Speaker 1: me is, and I've had this with two of my
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  Speaker 1: kids already, I'm about to have it with a third one,
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  Speaker 1: and that is, if anything happens, just call me. Like
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  Speaker 1: you could literally be in the worst situation ever, Just
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  Speaker 1: call me. Don't leave it to somebody else to ring,
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  Speaker 1: don't leave it to your friends to get you out
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  Speaker 1: of a situation. Just call me and I'll work out
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  Speaker 1: what I can do to help you.
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  Speaker 3: I always said to young people.
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  Speaker 2: Also, I think what's very important is that the whole
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  Speaker 2: idea of school this is quite frightening for an awful
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  Speaker 2: lot of parents. So I say to like, I'm going
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  Speaker 2: to w a and do a series of levers talks
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  Speaker 2: that I just talk about leavers with some of the
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  Speaker 2: year twelves that I've met over the years. And you know,
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  Speaker 2: one of my big things I say to that your
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  Speaker 2: parents are scared, So you know what, just be a
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  Speaker 2: really great kid for three or four days that you're
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  Speaker 2: away or have a long you're away for, just make
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  Speaker 2: sure you call them at least once a day, not
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  Speaker 2: a text, just a quick call say look, everything's fine,
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  Speaker 2: I'm alive, and that's all you need because that kind
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  Speaker 2: of stuff really cementsa createsor I think if parents put
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  Speaker 2: a rule in about saying I need you to call
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  Speaker 2: me every day, kind of thumb work. That kind of
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  Speaker 2: stuff is, as you said, it's much more about pushing
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  Speaker 2: down on kids. But I think to say to kids,
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  Speaker 2: if you've got some of your your year twelve friends around,
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  Speaker 2: you know, say to them, just make sure you call
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  Speaker 2: you my more dad at least once a day, just
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  Speaker 2: so that they know you're fine. It's a scary time.
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  Speaker 3: Paul.
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  Speaker 1: A great conversation, and I think a lot of parents
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  Speaker 1: of your twelve kids will we appreciative of the things
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  Speaker 1: that we've discussed today, the things that you've shared. Are
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  Speaker 1: there any last words before we wrap this up?
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  Speaker 2: Well, I think that the key is, and I've already
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  Speaker 2: said it is I think parents need to remember that
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  Speaker 2: school has offered them the very last opportunity, realistically to
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  Speaker 2: have all of these conversations about safety. Because what school
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  Speaker 2: is does is it kind of magnifies all of those
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  Speaker 2: safety issues that they're going to be facing for the
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  Speaker 2: next I mean, any parent who thinks that when they've
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  Speaker 2: left school and they've got through, oh they've got to
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  Speaker 2: the end of it, it hasn't even started. I mean,
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  Speaker 2: eighteen to twenty five. It's a really scary kind of time.
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  Speaker 2: And this is going to be your asked opportunity as
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  Speaker 2: a parent to kind of open this conversation and hopefully
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  Speaker 2: have that discussion about safety in a way that is
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  Speaker 2: not emotionally charged, but to kind of say, look, I
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  Speaker 2: love you, I care about you, and we just want
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  Speaker 2: you to be safe, and bad things can happen, but
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  Speaker 2: we put things into place, we trust each other. You know, well,
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  Speaker 2: you can have a great time, memorable time that will
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  Speaker 2: stay with you for the rest of your life.
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  Speaker 1: Paul Dylan, the founder of Drug and Alcohol Research and Training,
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  Speaker 1: Australia data professional, speaker, former school teacher, author and a
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  Speaker 1: guy who knows his stuff. What a great and important conversation.
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  Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Paul, Thank you. Justin The Happy
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  Speaker 1: Families podcast is produced by Justin Rowland from Bridge Media
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  Speaker 1: and Craig Bruce is our executive producer. For more info
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  Speaker 1: about the things we've talked about today. Check out Paul's website.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: You can just google Paul. We'll link to him in
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  Speaker 1: the show notes, and you'll also be able to find
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: out where he's giving talks for school students, parents, teachers,
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: and everyone else right around the nation. We'll link to
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: all of that, and if you'd like more information about
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: making you your family happier, visitors at happy families dot
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  Speaker 1: com dot au
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  Speaker 3: Mm hmm