Latest / Cry It Out Loud: Navigating Infertility, Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Infant Loss & Pregnancy After Loss / Trying Again After Loss: Pregnancy, Pelvic Health & Healing Your Body for Birth

Transcript

Trying Again After Loss: Pregnancy, Pelvic Health & Healing Your Body for Birth · Cry It Out Loud: Navigating Infertility, Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Infant Loss & Pregnancy After Loss

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Crying Out Loud, a podcast by Chasing the Rainbows with your
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host Bernice Quisenberry. Pregnancy changes your body.
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But pregnancy after loss changes everything.
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It changes how you experience your body, how you listen to it,
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question it, and sometimes struggle to trust it again.
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So many parents, the body that once felt strong and capable can
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feel unfamiliar after loss, caring not just physical
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challenges, but grief, trauma, and fear.
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And while so much of the conversation focuses on
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emotional healing, pregnancy and loss can also just have profound
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impact on pelvic health, core function, and the physical
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foundation of the body. So what does it look like to
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come back into your body after loss?
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To prepare for pregnancy again, for birth, for healing?
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Today we're joined by Gina Conley, a birth doula, needle
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trainer, and author of Training for Two, also a mother of four,
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and she has also experienced 2 early term baby losses.
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Gina specializes in pelvic mechanics, birth education, and
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helping women reconnect with their bodies through pregnancy,
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postpartum, and beyond. Her work focuses on supporting
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women not just physically, but holistically.
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Understanding how movement strengthen body awareness play a
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role in both healing and preparing for birth, especially
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after loss. Gina, thank you for being here,
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for helping us have this deeper conversation about it really
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means to come back into your body after loss.
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Thank you for having me. Yes, and I would love for you to
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share with our listeners, you know, your own personal story,
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who you are and everything. So my name is Gina.
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I'm the founder of Mama Stay Fit, which specializes in pre
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and post anal fitness training and childbirth education, and I
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started my business after my first baby was born about nine
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years ago now. It's pretty wild how long we've
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been doing this. I started primarily in person
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and now we've expanded to a pretty large online platform
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with tons of free education options in addition to paid
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options and fitness programs, and I now have 4 babies of my
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own. But between my first and second,
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I did have two pregnancy losses back-to-back that were both like
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within the first first trimester, but very different
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from one another, but still very challenging and really impacted
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my subsequent births. And each pregnancy from those
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losses was a little bit different as well.
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And so I would love to share my own stories with pregnancy loss
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in addition to kind of how I navigated afterwards 'cause I
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typically, I have found that the pregnancy after loss is really,
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really challenging and it's a very unique way.
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And so yeah, I could, I could dive into that if that, if that
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works. So after my first was born, I
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wanted my kids to be close in age.
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And so when my daughter was about a year old, my husband and
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I started trying to conceive. I hadn't like quite gotten my
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period back yet. So it was kind of like a hope to
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catch like the first egg kind of thing.
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Maybe I'll never have a period again.
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And it didn't really work out right away.
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It took us a few months and then we, we were pregnant and I was
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like, this is awesome. Like our babies are going to be
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like pretty close in age. My sister was also pregnant.
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And so we were going to like be in this together.
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And we were like super excited about, I was like telling
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everybody that I was pregnant. I'm, I was, I've never been like
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a secret keeper with my pregnancies.
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And I'm really glad that I, that I told a lot of people I'm in
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hindsight, around like 8 or 9 weeks of my pregnancy, I just
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felt kind of like uneasy, like just something, I just needed
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confirmation that everything was going well.
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But I just felt like oddly like anxious.
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And so I went to my provider and I was like, I would, I would
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like to have an ultrasound done or I would just like to check on
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the baby. And they couldn't find anything.
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So it's just like this black sack and, and they were like,
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well, this ultrasound isn't that good.
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Come to the clinic 'cause I, I was at labor and delivery with
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my, my sister works there. And it's also the, it was also
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the hospital in the clinic that I saw for my prenatal care.
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And so they're like the, the ultrasound here on ultra labor
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and delivery is like not that good.
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Like go to the one in the clinic and we'll definitely see the
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baby. So I went to the one in the
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clinic and same thing. Couldn't really see anything,
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but they could see like this like yolk SAC, which was like a
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pretty big indicator that it had a miscarriage, which means that
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at some point this baby was not developing anymore, but my body
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had not like recognized it. And so they were like, well
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maybe you're just like really early and I'm like, I could be
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like a week or two off, but I'm not like a month off like that
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like. So fortunately, my provider was
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like really patient with me and we did ultrasound after
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ultrasound for about two more weeks.
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And by like the second week, I think like we had all accepted
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that this was not a viable pregnancy.
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I was like browsing forums about Miss miscarriage.
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People were saying like I went in for my DNC and we did an
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ultrasound and they found the baby.
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And so I had kind of like convinced myself that this
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provider is really bad at ultrasounds, the baby's just
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hiding. And, but I wanted to give myself
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some time and it gave me about two weeks to kind of process
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that this was not happening. So we decided to do the, the
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medication that you take at home.
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And when I, I didn't really know what to expect when it came to
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the loss. And I had never heard anybody
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else talk about this before. And so I apologize to any
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listeners that maybe are not prepared to like hear this
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conversation or maybe brings up something for themselves, but I
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feel it's like important to share cuz I didn't know what I
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was supposed to be looking for. So my pregnancy, I was only, I
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was maybe at like 11 or 12 weeks at this point.
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Granted it wasn't an 11 or 12 week old baby.
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And so we took the medication at home.
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They also gave me some pain like medication that I could take to
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kind of decrease any discomfort that I was feeling.
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And I was just kind of like unsure what I was supposed to be
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feeling. I felt some cramping, had some
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bleeding. And then when I went to the
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toilet, I passed some tissue, but I didn't really know.
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I thought there was going to be a lot more tissue.
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And so I just flushed it down the toilet.
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And then in hindsight, I realized that that was the baby.
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And so I was like really sad that I had just flushed it and
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wish I had like pulled it out of the toilet and did like buried
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it or something, but I just didn't.
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I didn't know what I was supposed to be experiencing
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because when I had given birth previously, there was a lot of
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clots. There was like just like
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tissues. So kind of coming out for a
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period of time. So I just thought it was going
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to be like that. It wasn't, it was bleeding.
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It was, it was, I would guess like the same type of bleeding
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as like a period for me. But then there was this like
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mass that I thought there was going to be more of and there
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wasn't. And so had I known, I would have
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done something different with that tissue.
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And so I'd like to share that because I, I would hate for
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somebody to like recognize that after the fact as well.
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Now, if you still want to flush it, that's fine.
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But just know that that's, that was it, that was it.
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So after that, because I had a miscarriage, the provider wanted
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to do like, you know, like weekly blood work with me to
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make sure that it wasn't a molar pregnancy, which I'm not like
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super savvy on all like the different terms, but essentially
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it's like a potential like precancerous type of pregnancy,
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which is not good. And because it was a
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miscarriage, the likelihood of it being that is like slightly
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higher. And so they wanted my HCG levels
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to go all the way down to confirm that this wasn't a molar
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pregnancy. My husband though, was getting
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ready to deploy and he was going to be gone for a period of time
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and I wanted my kids close in age.
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So I was like, you know what, I'm sure it's fine.
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We're going to try. We've got like a month to see if
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we can do this before you leave. Let's just, let's give it a go.
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And it didn't work out. He we didn't conceive.
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My ACG levels went all the way down.
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And then I just spent the next six months kind of dealing with
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being not pregnant in a way that I thought it was a bunch of my
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friends were pregnant at the same time.
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They all had their babies. My sister had her baby and then
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my husband came home and it was I.
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I never felt like angry at anybody else.
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I know that sometimes can be a common feeling like I think if
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anything, I just felt like sad for myself where I was like this
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was an an experience that I was preparing for that I am not
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getting to do. And it kind of sucks.
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But I was never like angry at my sister or any of my friends for
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having their babies. I was still really excited to be
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there to support them as a doula.
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I never felt like anger towards any of my Dulo clients that I
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was still supporting, but I just wanted the experience for myself
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too. And it kind of sucked.
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So like be surrounded by this. And I had friends who had had
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multiple losses kind of in the same time frame that ended up
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needing to like remove themselves from birth.
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Like they're like, I can't like this is too much.
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And so I do think that there are different kind of thresholds for
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different people. For me at this point, I was
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like, I it's OK. It's not, it's, it's fine.
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I think I was kind of still in the denial as well.
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So my husband came back and we tried to conceive again.
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And after a few months we conceived and I again told
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everybody I was like, we're pregnant, we're good.
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We've moved on from that fluke thing that happened.
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Nobody has more than one miscarriage.
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And then I went in for blood work, they confirmed pregnancy
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with my blood work. And then like 2 days later I
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started bleeding and I was like, oh, this doesn't seem normal.
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So I rushed to the ER 'cause I didn't really know what to do.
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And the I, I since we told like the triage nurse that I was
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having miscarriage. And she was like, well, don't
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count yourself out. Sometimes you can have bleeding,
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it'll be fine. And I was like, I appreciate you
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trying to be hopeful. And the ER doctor was terrible.
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He came in and he and we had been in the air for several
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hours. He came in and he's like, well,
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you were pregnant on Friday and today you're not.
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So what are you here for? And I'm like, I guess a
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miscarriage, Like I what, like, can we read the room a little?
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So he was like, well, I don't think I have to do a pelvic
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exam. So I'll just kind of like do
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abdominal palpations. And at this point, I start like,
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crying because I don't really know what else to do.
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In hindsight, I look back and I'm like, all of the things I
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could have said to this guy to like put him in his place, but I
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was just like, it's such shock, right?
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Of course. So I'm sitting there crying and
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he's like, it's OK. My, my daughter had like a bunch
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of miscarriages and she got like 4 kids.
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And I am just still like, what? Like like it's not a
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competition. Like somebody else having this
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like terrible experience also doesn't make me feel any better
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right now. So it was it was not a good
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time. And after that I went back to my
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primary care provider and I had always been told that you have
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to wait for three losses to kind of do work to do a workout.
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But at this point, I had two in a row and I'm like, this is not
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seem very normal to me. And so I was really lucky that
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my provider was like, hey, and like she sat down and like got
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on my level and she's like, this is not normal.
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Like people are not supposed to have more than one miscarriage
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in a row. And I want to do a full work up
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on you. Like we're going to do a bunch
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of blood work. We're going to start getting
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everything that we need prepped so that if at the end of this
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cycle, if you have another loss, we can send you straight to
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fertility because we have it like within the hospital.
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And I was like, yeah, I, I would like to do all of the things,
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like I still want to extend my family.
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I, I'm, yeah, let's do it. And so we did blood work and we
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found that my thyroid antibody levels are really elevated,
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which could or could not be associated with recurrent
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miscarriage. And so I started some thyroid
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medication. I did the autoimmune paleo diet
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to get my levels down and I like one month on that diet was like
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phenomenal. I got my antibody levels like
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super low back to where it was supposed to be and we conceived
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our son during that cycle. And after that I was like at the
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beginning of my pregnancy to my husband.
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I was like, if we have another loss, I don't know if I can keep
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doing this like three in a row. It's just, it's, I think it's
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going to just be mentally too much 'cause I, I am mentally
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unwell with like I am anxious every day.
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I am checking every single tissue that I wipe with whenever
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I use the restroom. I wake up every day wondering if
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this is the day that I lose the baby and I have got like 9
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months to go. Like this is a long time to be
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super anxious and I spent a really long time in that
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pregnancy really anxious. My provider in the beginning did
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blood work like every few days just to confirm that the
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pregnancy was progressing. Once that we can see a baby, we
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were doing like weekly ultrasounds and that was like
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really reassuring for me and something that for my friends
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that I've had losses and they are navigating a pregnancy.
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I was like, Hey, I found it really helpful just to see that
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my baby was existing still like either through blood work or
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through ultrasounds. Like because I, I didn't have
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any signs that there was something wrong with my first
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pregnancy. Like I had all the symptoms, but
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I wasn't pregnant. My second one, it just kind of
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happened pretty spontaneously. And so I was really anxious
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every time I went to the bathroom.
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And so I was like just seeing the baby with ultrasound just
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was super helpful for me. So I've had a few friends that
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have also had losses and they have done that.
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I mean, they found it to be super, super helpful for them
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mentally. Once I can kind of like feel my
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baby moving. It was, I was much more
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reassured at that point, like, OK, I could feel them like
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they're there. They're still, they're still
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moving inside. I, I stopped doing the
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ultrasounds quite as frequently once I could see the baby.
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And so once I was in my second trimester with my son, my, the
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OB provider was like, hey, I, I feel like you're no longer like
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a high risk pregnancy. If you feel comfortable, like we
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can move you to like a midwife like here, 'cause we had both
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within the clinic and you can like, I would consider you like
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a low risk pregnancy now. And at that point, I was like,
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you know what? I think I do feel comfortable
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and I shifted my care to the midwives, but I still stayed
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pretty anxious that whole pregnancy.
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I didn't like buy anything for my son.
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I felt like really detached from the pregnancy.
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And it wasn't until I was nearing my third trimester when
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I had connected with somebody on Instagram who had had two
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pregnancy losses later in pregnancy.
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So I think she was in her second or almost like third trimester
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when she had her losses. And something that she told me
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was that she had never regretted bonding with her babies, even
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though she lost them. And I was like, oh, that's,
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that's pretty profound. I, I think I'm, I'm aligned with
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that. And after that I was like, you
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know, it's, it's going to suck either way.
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Like it's going to suck if I completely detach myself and I
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lose this pregnancy or if I'm completely like and deeply in
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love and bonded with this baby, it's going to suck either way.
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And I would rather know that during this pregnancy, I had
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given this baby as much love as I could.
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And so I went to the store and I bought him like a little onesie.
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I don't remember what onesie it was, but I went and bought him
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some stuff and, and then COVID happened.
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And so now I was like, Oh my God, Now I'm really anxious
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about like what's happening in the world.
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And so I just, that whole pregnancy was filled with so
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much anxiety. We ended up having a home birth.
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Things went beautifully. It was a perfect birth and labor
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for me, but I stayed really anxious postpartum and I dealt
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with a lot of postpartum anxiety and postpartum OCD.
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And of all of my pregnancies or all of my postpartums, that was
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the hardest postpartum for me, like mentally.
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And so I sought therapy and that was super helpful for me.
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And then over time, I just started to feel more confident
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with being pregnant and being postpartum and knowing that my
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babies were going to be OK because I just, I just spent so
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much time so anxious during pregnancy that it just carried
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over into postpartum for me. My next two pregnancies though,
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I felt much better mentally, I was still anxious.
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It definitely wasn't like my first pregnancy where it was
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just like bliss and ignorance and everything.
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Those things happen to other people, They don't happen to me,
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but they did happen to me. They happened to me twice in a
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row. And so I still got the early
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ultrasound so I could see the baby every week until I can feel
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them 'cause that was like really helpful for me, like anxiety
16:53
wise. But overall in the pregnancy, I
16:56
just felt at more peace because I think I had AI had a
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successful pregnancy. Like I gave birth to a live baby
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and my son is thriving. And so I just felt a little bit
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more confident with the, with my third baby and I was like, OK,
17:11
like still anxious, but like, yeah, I, I feel good.
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Like I, I feel like I've, I can take the steps to set the
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conditions in my fever. I'm doing the things that can
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make me feel more confident in this pregnancy and that
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postpartum I felt much better. And then with my 4th baby, it
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was the same thing, like same ultrasounds in the beginning of
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the pregnancy, but I had two successful pregnancies at this
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point. And so now I feel a little bit
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more confident in it, but I also was like, I almost like
17:36
surrendered to it a little bit more.
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I'm like, I would really love for this baby to be born.
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If they are not born in the way that I want them to be.
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I'm just, I'm going to surrender to all the things that can
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happen. And that whole kind of pregnancy
17:50
and labor was just a lot about like letting go of my
17:53
expectations and just kind of like letting things kind of
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unfold the way that they want to, which took a lot of pressure
18:00
off me. And then this postpartum was
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fantastic as well. But that first one after, after
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two losses in a row was really hard.
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It was really, really hard. And for those that are maybe
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navigating that first pregnancy after loss, especially if it was
18:15
after multiple losses, I think it's, it's probably pretty
18:18
normal to be like not unwell mentally.
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It's, it's hard to go from having, if you've had a
18:27
successful pregnancy before to having no issues with that
18:30
pregnancy and suddenly having a lot of problems or if you
18:33
haven't had a baby yet. It's, it's really, it's a real,
18:36
it's a confidence killer. Like you're like, oh geez.
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Like if there's anything that we've been told is like this is
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my like one big role in life is to produce children.
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Obviously we have other other roles as well, but like, it's
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like this is the one biological function that I'm supposed to do
18:52
and I can't even do that. Like it's, it's, it's really
18:55
it's, it's, it's a confidence killer.
18:58
And so I completely sympathize with folks that are struggling
19:01
through that. And then when you do get
19:03
pregnant, it is really hard mentally and it's a lot.
19:07
It feels like forever. It feels like the longest
19:09
pregnancy ever. And for me, I had a lot of like
19:12
postpartum, like mental health stuff that I needed to work
19:15
through because I just spent so much time so anxious.
19:18
But it does get better for, for me at least, I found that every
19:23
pregnancy from the losses, I just felt a little bit more
19:26
confident in how it was moving my body, how it was feeling in
19:29
my mind. Like the way that I was just
19:31
navigating the pregnancy and the birth and the postpartum just
19:34
felt easier compared to that first one.
19:37
But it was still kind of like lingering there for me.
19:40
So those are kind of my stories. I like sharing my stories 'cause
19:43
I after my first loss, because I had told everybody that I was
19:47
pregnant, I also had to tell everybody that I was not
19:49
pregnant. And in that process, I found
19:52
that a lot of my friends that had pregnancy losses that never
19:54
told anybody and they just kind of like felt like there
19:58
something was wrong and they with them, like there was a lot
20:01
of stigma with it. And so they just kind of like
20:03
never mentioned it and just quietly like moved on and
20:08
grieved on their own. And I would have felt really sad
20:11
knowing that both the babies that I lost were never known.
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And so, like, there was a period of time where I had a lot of
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people celebrating these babies. It was a shorter period of time
20:22
that I hoped for, but I there was still some time where there
20:25
was a bunch of people super excited and people that were
20:28
celebrating with me. And then unfortunately, I also
20:32
had a large group of people that were mourning with me and that
20:35
were grieving with me that were checking on me.
20:37
And so I had accidentally created this like community for
20:40
myself, which was super helpful, especially because my husband
20:45
deployed pretty shortly after the first loss.
20:48
So I had like a very large community of people that were
20:51
wanting to like support me through it.
20:55
And so every pregnancy after that, I had told everybody like
20:57
as soon as possible because I'm like, I want I you're if you're
21:01
going to celebrate with me, you're also going to mourn with
21:03
me. And that was something that was
21:07
surprisingly really helpful for me.
21:09
But totally understand if not everybody wants to do the
21:12
morning with other people as well, it doesn't have to you
21:14
don't have to do like a large Instagram post or anything.
21:17
But I did find it for me, like comforting to know there was a
21:21
period of time that there was a bunch of people celebrating this
21:23
baby and excited for this baby, even if we also grieved that
21:28
baby. But yeah, so those are my, those
21:30
are my stories. Oh, thank you, Gina.
21:32
And yeah, just to circle back on a couple of things.
21:35
I resonated so much with your story.
21:37
I've, you know, had pregnancy after losses and it I felt the
21:41
same thing, you know, that want that first one after having
21:44
reoccurring loss, it's like, Oh my goodness, you know, and going
21:47
to the bathroom, always checking, always looking like
21:50
and feeling like, what is something gonna go wrong?
21:53
Like, do I even know my body? You know, 'cause that body
21:55
shame, blame and guilt that we have after loss is, is a stigma
21:59
that we really do need to break in America, you know, because
22:02
this isn't our fault. Like we don't know what's
22:04
happening, what, what's going on with it, with our babies and
22:07
things like that to 'cause these things like we don't get enough
22:09
answers, right? But you know, with you saying,
22:12
and I, I cannot harp it enough. I know this is a trigger
22:15
warning, but right, The tissue, right, Your baby when you're at
22:18
home and you're passing your baby.
22:21
That was something that I regretted too, was like not
22:23
collecting in the toilet, right? And not knowing that was it.
22:27
And because, you know, you can do things, make jewelry, get
22:29
different things, Berry, whatever, whatever you decide,
22:32
you know, with that your baby. And that's something that is not
22:35
talked about. And I wish I would have known
22:37
just to leave everything like in the toilet, you know, until I
22:41
was completely done and then be able to go through because it
22:44
did. I lived in so much regret
22:46
feeling like I just flushed my baby and that was it.
22:49
And and I don't have anything else to show for my baby in that
22:53
moment. Yeah, I had no idea that that I
22:57
didn't even think to look it up like what to expect.
23:00
I know. I just thought it was going to
23:01
be like either I thought it was going to be like postpartum
23:04
where there's like a bunch of clots and I just assumed it was
23:08
like the first clot and it that was that was it.
23:11
And so I, I have a ton of regret from that too, because I just
23:14
didn't, I didn't know. I know.
23:16
So, yeah, I, I share it even though it's kind of like
23:19
graphic, but like you're going to go through that, like you
23:22
should know what to expect so that you can make decisions that
23:25
feel best for you without being like, Oh my God, I if I had no
23:29
and I would have done something different.
23:31
Yeah. But yeah, yeah.
23:33
Yeah, it's the same with ultrasound pictures.
23:34
You know, I wish, like when they were checking my belly, I would
23:36
have got those images even after, you know, passing just
23:41
because then I would have had something, you know, to like,
23:43
remember that our baby. Bye.
23:45
And it's like, you know, those moments, you know, we can't
23:47
educate to advocate enough, right, for other, you know,
23:50
parents as they're going through or having their own experiences
23:53
with this and they can create their own way, you know, they
23:56
can hear others, they can hear your experience and that right
23:59
resonate. And, you know, they take away
24:01
something from it, which is fantastic.
24:03
You know, any way that we can help them.
24:06
So. Yeah.
24:07
And you know, what's interesting is I doing full panels of blood
24:12
work and things like that after loss.
24:14
You know, looking at your blood work in a way of survival versus
24:18
thriving for pregnancy is a whole different thing too.
24:23
And understanding that. So with your thyroid and
24:25
everything, is that what really LED you then when you did the
24:28
Paleo diet, all of those things to really get into the fitness
24:33
side of things, the the healthy eating, all of those different
24:37
things that you put on Instagram and share with everyone because
24:40
I find it very helpful. So we were doing all the fitness
24:44
stuff like well before my pregnancy losses.
24:48
It definitely helped me be more aware of like the nutrition
24:51
aspect of things. But my thyroid antibody levels
24:55
were pretty elevated. And so every subsequent
24:58
pregnancy, I did a lot of like conception or preconception work
25:02
with my providers where we did blood work to kind of check on
25:05
what my thyroid levels were. And then we kind of adjusted my
25:08
medication based on like what our goals were.
25:11
And my goal was to have a successful pregnancy.
25:14
And so usually as I got closer to my pregnancies, my medication
25:17
doses would increase a little bit to help kind of regulate my
25:20
thyroid a little bit more. And we were definitely
25:22
monitoring like a bunch of different of my nutrient levels
25:26
like in that preconception time frame because I wanted to kind
25:30
of set myself up as best I could knowing that this nutritional
25:34
thing was potentially it was a big impact on my prior
25:36
pregnancies. And so that was something that I
25:38
was never quite quite as aware of.
25:41
The fitness stuff definitely comes much easier to me being
25:44
able to move your body and like be in a healthy position, have
25:47
good endurance and stamina. Going into pregnancy, my first
25:51
trimester is always pretty rough, so I don't do a whole lot
25:54
of exercising for about 8 weeks in that first trimester.
25:58
And so for me, like preconception, being in good
26:01
physical condition going into pregnancy, knowing that I'm
26:03
gonna take like 2 months off, I found to be super helpful going
26:07
into subsequent pregnancies. Because other things that can
26:10
really impact your kind of mental state during pregnancy is
26:14
how comfortable you are. And if you are out of shape,
26:17
it's potentially going to increase the likelihood of like
26:20
pelvic pain or a lot of other discomforts that could be kind
26:22
of debilitating. And if you're already struggling
26:25
mentally, not feeling good physically, it only makes that
26:28
worse. And so that was something else
26:29
that I was really focusing on with my preconception work.
26:33
My pregnancy work was focusing on movements that improve like
26:37
my pelvic stability, improved core strength and kind of keep
26:40
my like stamina endurance up so that I I felt good in my body
26:43
relative. Like there's obviously going to
26:45
be some discomfort with pregnancy, but if I can keep
26:48
myself from being in pain, it really helped me navigate the
26:52
pregnancy much better. Because again, if I was in pain,
26:55
it was not, it was going to really impact my mental state or
26:57
more so than it already was by navigating a pregnancy after
27:01
loss. But something with movement,
27:04
just to kind of like expand on it, is there can be a lot of
27:08
fear with exercise after a loss because it's like, well, what if
27:13
it was that thing that I did? Like, you may have even had
27:16
somebody say it was probably because you were working out,
27:19
like you probably caused it, which is like not helpful at
27:21
all. Like that's the worst thing that
27:23
you can tell somebody. Oh my God.
27:26
But first of all, there is a lot of research that supports
27:29
exercising, even vigorous exercise, jumping, running,
27:33
lifting heavy does not increase the likelihood of a miscarriage.
27:36
If anything, exercise decreases the risk of it because you're
27:39
healthier. The majority of pregnancy losses
27:42
or miscarriages are due to chromosomal abnormality.
27:45
So there's just the way the baby was developing.
27:47
Something was just off. And it sucks.
27:49
Like, it sucks that it's like this uncontrollable thing
27:52
because if anything, I would love there to be some like
27:55
controllable reason of like something that I can just do to
27:58
guarantee it'll be fine. And so it sucks that it's just
28:01
like something weird just happened.
28:04
Like, yeah, all right, what if something weird happens again?
28:07
So exercise does not 'cause miscarriage, it does not
28:11
increase the likelihood of it to include vigorous exercise, heavy
28:14
lifting. And this is like like supported
28:17
by like peer reviewed studies, like research supports this
28:21
like, so if you were exercising in your first trimester, it
28:24
didn't cause your pregnancy loss.
28:26
If you were exercising in your first trimester, it's not going
28:28
to cause a loss for you. And so I just want to take that
28:32
stigma away from movement because there can be a lot of
28:34
fear when it comes to navigating a pregnancy after loss with
28:38
exercise because it's like, well, I don't want to do
28:41
anything to cause another miscarriage.
28:44
Exercise is not going to cause that for you.
28:46
There's even some newer research now that supports that it's not
28:50
beneficial to not exercise, even if you have like preterm labor
28:54
kind of complications happening like a short cervix, that not
28:57
exercising can increase the increase complications for you.
29:01
So if you want to move your body after you have a pregnancy loss
29:05
and as you're navigating a pregnancy after loss, it's OK
29:09
and it'll probably make you feel a lot better.
29:11
I have found repeatedly with my own clients both in person and
29:14
online and for myself personally, that if they
29:17
continue to move their body into strength train and to go for
29:21
walks and to do cardio activities, they felt so much
29:24
better in their bodies. And like I kind of said, like
29:26
when you're in pain, it sucks. Like it you are mentally unwell.
29:31
So now you're navigating this anxiety about pregnancy after
29:34
loss and you have like debilitating pelvic pain.
29:36
Like that is just a terrible place to be.
29:39
And so we have found a lot with our clients.
29:41
As long as they continue like they're exercising in the first
29:44
trimester, if you can't, it's OK.
29:45
But if you can get back to it in the second and third trimester,
29:48
you will feel so much better. Our clients that like miss a few
29:53
workouts, their pelvic pain starts to kind of creep back up
29:56
and they're like, as soon as I do my workouts, I feel better.
29:58
So I would highly recommend exercising throughout your
30:02
pregnancy in whatever way is fun for you.
30:04
So it shouldn't be like a chore. If you like lifting weights,
30:07
lift weights. If you like going for walks or
30:08
doing cardio activity, like do that.
30:11
The only things that I would say like in regards to like danger
30:15
exercise, If there's like a really big fall risk, then that
30:18
would obviously not be super safe.
30:20
And then environmental stuff, if it's a sauna, don't exercise in
30:24
a sauna. Don't go to a sauna and do
30:25
jumping jacks. Like we do want to be aware of
30:28
like our environment. So is it really hot and humid?
30:30
Like, is there opportunities for you to cool yourself off?
30:33
Like are you drinking cold water during your workouts?
30:36
How do you physically feel during the workouts is going to
30:39
be more important than like what specific movements that you do?
30:42
There's really no inherently dangerous exercises other than
30:45
the ones that have a really big fall risk.
30:48
Some folks like to run during their pregnancy.
30:49
Some folks find it really uncomfortable.
30:52
Some folks like to do stationary bike.
30:53
I would say like a a bike that like moves that's probably has a
30:57
higher fall risk like horseback riding, a little bit higher fall
30:59
risk, skydiving, maybe don't do that.
31:03
But other than that, there's really not like an unsafe
31:06
exercise unless you don't like it but don't do it.
31:11
So you can feel pretty confident that if you enjoy a movement and
31:15
it feels good for you and your body, it's probably OK to do.
31:18
I mean, you can do more vigorous exercise, you can do lower
31:21
intensity exercise. The goal is like a moderate
31:24
intensity for 150 minutes per week.
31:26
So that's a pretty good volume of like you're, you're working
31:30
pretty hard during it. We have tons of online fitness
31:33
programs if it's easier to just follow something both like a
31:35
video based and a self-paced like app workout.
31:39
But yeah, exercising is really good for you.
31:41
It can really help with your mental health and more
31:44
importantly, it can help you feel really comfortable during
31:46
your pregnancies because being in pain mentally sucks,
31:49
physically sucks too. And it can make navigating a
31:52
pregnancy just so much harder if you are in a lot, a lot of pain.
31:56
In addition, exercising during pregnancy can help kind of
31:58
prepare your body for birth as well, which that I think that's
32:01
the, the goal of that we all have is to burn the baby like a
32:04
live baby at the end. And so exercising can help to
32:07
support like your birth, whether you have a vaginal or caesarean
32:10
birth as well. So.
32:13
Yeah. And you know, thank you, Gina,
32:15
because that was going to be my next question was, you know,
32:18
talking through that because this is something that we
32:20
discussed in support Group A lot and I was guilty of this too.
32:23
So my first pregnancy after our losses, I stopped running.
32:29
So I was so nervous and I'm a runner and I have been, always
32:32
have been, you know, strength training, those kind of things.
32:34
And I dead stopped. I just could not keep going
32:38
because I was like, oh, I'm going to do something or
32:41
something's going to happen. And instead of doing that and my
32:44
labor was so much worse, I felt like, and you're right, that
32:49
pelvic pain, especially in that third trimester was a lot
32:52
different than, you know, pregnancies before and things
32:55
like that. So it was a different
32:58
experience. And we do, we talk about this
33:00
all the time. People talk about it, they stop,
33:02
they're scared. And I think talking through that
33:04
is so important to understand the benefits of it because more
33:07
times than not, if you go into your doctor and you say your
33:10
fears and you address one of these, it'll just say, OK, well
33:12
then don't do it, you know? But instead like encouraging
33:16
that and hearing those, those words can be helpful.
33:19
It's also OK to do less. So if if mentally it just feels
33:24
like too much, like there's just you just have a lot of fear.
33:28
Yeah, you don't have to do all of it like you.
33:30
You can do less too. I would say still do something
33:33
because it's gonna, again, gonna help you feel better during your
33:35
pregnancy. It's gonna help to make your
33:37
laborers a little bit easier. But if like doing your normal
33:40
workout routine just mentally doesn't feel there for you, it's
33:43
OK to do less. Like I, I do people that
33:46
permission as well because sometimes you just need to like
33:50
ease off from it to like feel like in control in some aspect.
33:55
And if like decreasing your workouts helps you to feel more
33:58
in control and to help you feel safe, then that's OK too.
34:01
But I just want to like reinforce that exercise is safe
34:05
during pregnancy. Like it is beneficial to do
34:08
during pregnancy and exercising did not cause a miscarriage and
34:12
it will not cost one for you. And so if you do want to
34:15
exercise, you can feel confident in knowing that it is safe for
34:18
you. But if mentally it's just too
34:20
much, it's OK. Like it's, it's OK Also like
34:24
you, you don't like, that's probably not a good marketing
34:26
thing for me, but like it's OK to like take it back if that
34:30
mentally feels better for you too.
34:32
Yeah, and it was really hard to after, you know, after giving
34:35
birth, then to catch up almost again with my body postpartum
34:39
wise, and a lot harder to get started, to get active again,
34:42
too. And it is, you're right.
34:44
It's so good for your mental health.
34:46
But it is also meeting where you're at, you know, in those
34:48
times and what makes the most sense.
34:50
You know, I can beat myself up all day about it.
34:52
But in the moment, it felt right to stop, right.
34:55
And that's OK, like you said. So I appreciate that so much,
34:58
Gina. Thank you.
35:00
Thank you. Well, if there's anything that
35:02
you can leave our listeners with that you would like to would
35:05
love a, you know, some advice, guidance, whatever you would
35:09
like to give to everyone. So it sounds like there's an
35:13
amazing community that you can be a part of with chasing the
35:16
Rainbows. And one of the things that I
35:18
found really, really helpful for me as I was navigating losses
35:22
and I was, as I was navigating pregnancy after loss, was being
35:25
a part of, of something where other people had experienced the
35:29
same thing as me. Because I, I typically found
35:32
that folks who had never had a loss before sometimes just don't
35:35
say the right thing, like in an attempt to be like kind and to
35:39
be compassionate. And this is like something that
35:42
I have to like talk to my sister about sometimes cuz she'll say
35:44
stuff like from a good place, but it just comes off weird
35:48
because she's never had a loss. And I'm like, I got it.
35:50
Like your heart is with me. Like you're giving me all your
35:54
love. I don't care.
35:55
Like, And so I find that being a part of something, if it's just
36:02
like another friend that's had a loss or like some like something
36:06
where other women have been in a similar situation from you, I
36:11
find like is, is super beneficial to help you navigate
36:14
something because people don't talk about it.
36:16
Like it's this like secret society to be that so many of us
36:20
are a part of. And there's a lot of shame and
36:22
stigma with it. And it's super hard to be, it's
36:25
hard to be a part of this community, but it's, it's
36:28
really, really helpful to have other people to talk to, to kind
36:31
of normalize what's going on, to just say and vent and see like
36:37
it's just, it's so important to have other people that you can
36:40
connect with. So I'm glad that there's this
36:41
community. I'm glad that the listeners are
36:43
probably a part of the community in some aspect.
36:46
If you just need someone to talk to, you can always just like
36:48
e-mail or DM me too. I'm always happy to talk to
36:51
other lost moms about whatever, like, because it's, it is hard
36:56
to be a part of this community because nobody really talks
36:59
about what it's like to be a part of it.
37:01
And it can be feel really isolating and lonely.
37:04
You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't cause your loss.
37:08
You don't deserve to be here by any means, but you don't have to
37:11
be alone in this experience and you don't have to be ashamed or
37:14
embarrassed by it. Yeah.
37:18
Oh, Gina, thank you. Thank you so much for what you
37:21
just said for for being here, for sharing your inspiration,
37:25
your insight, and this, you know, perspective that is so
37:28
overlooked and bringing it into this conversation.
37:32
I can't say that enough to you. Thank you for having me.
37:35
I'm I always love sharing my story because I know it it's
37:38
going to help somebody feel less alone in it and it's what I
37:41
would have wanted. So thank you for having me.
37:44
Yes, thank you, Gina, thank you. Today's episode is a powerful
37:49
reminder that healing after loss isn't just emotional, it's
37:52
physical too. Our bodies carry so much of what
37:55
we've been through, and learning how to support, strengthen, and
37:58
reconnect with them is a part of the journey forward.
38:01
To anyone listening who feels disconnected from their body
38:03
after loss or unsure how to move forward after pregnancy loss,
38:07
you are not alone in that feeling and your body is not
38:09
something that has filled you. It's something that deserves
38:12
care, patience, and compassion. There is no timeline for
38:16
healing. There is no right way.
38:17
But there is support, and there is always a beginning to rebuild
38:22
trust, one step at a time. At Chase and the Rainbows, we're
38:25
here to walk alongside you with free daily support, resources,
38:28
and a community. Every loss matters, and no one
38:32
should ever have to navigate the Saloon.
38:34
If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who
38:37
may need to hear it. And if you are looking for
38:39
support, want to get involved or honor your baby, you can visit
38:41
chaseandtherainbows.org. Thank you for being here, for
38:44
listening, and for continuing to have these important
38:46
conversations with us. Until next time this is cried
38:50
out loud.