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Transcript

Today's Rant: Children's Birthday Parties · The Opinion You Didn’t Ask For

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It's my party and I'll cry if I want to.
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Well, turns out crying is on the table for me at any party.
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So today we're talking kids, birthday parties, do's and
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don'ts. You guys, welcome back to the
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opinion you didn't ask for. I'm Hannah.
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And yes, we are talking kids birthday parties because I am
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actually very passionate about it, OK.
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And I think it's because of too many situations that have
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happened and in the last honestly, few months, few weeks,
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I feel like I keep seeing things or hearing things.
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So today is going to be a mix of personal story, a verbal
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submission, which if you're wondering what is that?
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Well, here's the thing. If you tell me a story to my
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face, it's now fair game. And Taylor was like, you should
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probably get permission or like ask them if it's OK.
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And I'm like, they know who I am.
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They know what I do like they basically signed up for this but
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I didn't talk to this person and ask if it was OK if I shared it.
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Not that I'm using names or that it's like bad.
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It does not make them look bad in the slightest.
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It makes the other people look bad.
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So I'm like but she was cool with it.
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So that's a verbal submission. Fun fact.
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And then a screenshot from Instagram when I was scrolling
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through stories. And I feel like all these things
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have just re triggered my deep deep opinion for kids birthday
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parties. OK so here we go.
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We're going to go with the verbal submission first.
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So this story is just wild from start to finish.
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But this friend of mine decided to let her daughter for her
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birthday invite a ton of her friends and they were going to
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see Wicked in theaters and which yeah, from the beginning I'm
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like, whoa, you have already done more than I will ever
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probably dream of because those movie tickets are not cheap.
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That has you have to pre plan because nowadays you have to buy
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selected seats to make sure everyone is sitting together.
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So she is already pre planned better than I do for majority of
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things. Right.
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So she has all these little girls that she has invited and
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she gives her daughter the invites to give out to her
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friends at school. And it says on there the time to
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be at their house and that before they leave for the movie,
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there will be pizza and cake. And then they are leaving to go
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to the movie and she gets them sent out, which the most wild
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thing happens that she was like, never does this happen except
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for obviously now that, you know, we're doing this and every
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single person RSVP D that they would be there.
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And she accidentally printed one extra invite.
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And she had planned to keep that one at home to have on her
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fridge to reference, but she accidentally sent it.
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So they ended up inviting an additional girl.
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So they had to now make plans with vehicles to make sure
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everyone could get there with carpooling.
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And, you know, so she has gone out of her way to do this
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birthday party for her daughter. And all of them RSVP.
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But one mom said she'll be a little bit late, but she'll be
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there. And so, you know, the mom's
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like, OK, well, like, we have to be at the theatre at this exact
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time. So, you know, kind of like, you
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either need to be on time or you might have to meet us there and,
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you know, whatever. Well, the day comes, the party
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happens. And as they are loading to get
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in the car to leave their house to go to the movies, she gets a
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text from this mom. She had completely forgotten
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that this girl had, you know, RSVP D but said that she was
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going to be late. And she gets a text from the mom
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as they are about to leave their neighborhood saying, like, we
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are almost there. And she's like, OK, well, you
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know, either you're going to have to meet us there or, you
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know, so they stopped in a parking lot in their
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neighborhood to pick this little girl up.
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And this is where it gets wild. So the car that has this little
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girl pulls up, right? You are thinking, OK, they know
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that we are late. They know that we are needing to
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get to this movie, right? Like they know this.
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So you as a parent are thinking, I am going to pull into that
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parking lot. They are going to Chuck their
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kid in the window. We'll roll it down.
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We won't even fully stop and then we're going to go on our
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merry way. That's not what happened.
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She pulls up and the dad gets out, which is not who she has
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been texting. But the dad gets out and stands
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in front of the door that his daughter would be getting out of
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the back seat and like, puts his hand on it so she can't open the
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door. And she's just kind of standing
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there shocked. Like what is happening?
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Like, OK, you know, hi. Like we got to go kind of thing.
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Like she's trying to be nice, way nicer than me.
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I'd be like, well, I'd be saying words I'm not allowed to say.
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And I'd like, get your hand off that car.
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Like, she either gets in the car right now or she will not be
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coming, like the end of the story.
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But she was much nicer than me. And so she's like, hi, you know,
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we, you know, we kind of got to go and he's like all he says and
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he is just rude. OK.
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I mean, I mean, you'll get the vibe, but just kind of rude.
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And he just very rudely is like, well, she hasn't eaten dinner.
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OK. Well, Sir, First off, that's not
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my problem that your daughter did not make it to the beginning
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half of the birthday party where there was pizza and drinks and
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cake provided. So like, how is that my problem?
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Right? Like, that's what I'm thinking.
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That's not what this nice person does, right?
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Like, she's way nicer than me. And so she's like, OK, well,
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we're going to be getting snacks at the movie, which once again,
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girl, you've already paid for all these movie tickets and
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you're buying snacks at the theater queen.
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OK, Like what a great, what a great mom to give her daughter
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this dream birthday party at the movie theater with her friends.
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How amazing. And this guy has the nerve to go
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that's not good enough. Basically like that is not
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healthy. That's not real food.
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She needs to eat real food. Well, Sir, why didn't you pick
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her up some McDonald's on the way to this parking lot?
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OK. Why didn't you have a peanut
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butter sandwich made in a baggie ready to go from wherever she
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was coming from to meet here right now?
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Why did you not have her fed? You are her parents.
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It is no one else's responsibility to feed your
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child if you missed the dinner portion of something.
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You are expected to take care of yourself for dinner, right?
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That's just how that works. And so she goes, OK, like, we
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can get her pizza at the theatre.
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Like, we just, we've got to go, right?
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Like, she's trying to be so nice, but kind of like, all
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right, Sir, I need you to either get her out of the car or we're
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going to have to leave. Like, we need to leave right
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now. And he just still like stands
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there and I'm like, what are you trying to prove, Sir?
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Like, if you don't want her to go to this party, just don't let
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her go. Like just text and instead of
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RSVP ING say, hey, she won't be able to make it.
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She has something else that day. And I don't think it's going to
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work right. Like they're acting like it's
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inconveniencing their lives. What?
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No, you are the inconvenience. So he finally goes that's fine
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I'll just Venmo you for it. And like he's being so rude.
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She was like, I was stunned by how this guy spoke to me.
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Right? Like this random stranger who's
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taking your daughter to a movie and you are treating her like
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garbage. So the little girl finally is
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allowed to get out of the back of the vehicle, gets in a car,
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they go to the movie and she told me later she's like, I did
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not realize how terrible he was until I'm replaying the whole
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situation. OK, you think that's where it
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ends? Well, the party is over.
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They get home from the movie. The parents were supposed to
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come pick the kids up, and there were two girls left.
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One was this girl whose dad was Jerk of the year.
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And then this other girl, like the mom did not know this little
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girl. She does not know this little
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girl's mom. They had never met before.
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And she's texting both of these parents to kind of be like, hi,
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we're home. The party's over.
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Like, are you are you coming to get them?
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And it's getting late and this was a school night, but it's
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getting late and they just don't text her back.
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So she goes to drop off these two girls and she gets to the
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door of the family, who you know the whole debacle was about, and
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gets to the door and the girl just walks in and no one, you
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know, meets her at the door to give her money for the food or
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you know, the mom to apologize for whatever.
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And they have not Venmoed her. You guys, I told her I was like,
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no, no, no. You charge them a Venmo request.
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You ask what their Venmo name is or you send a picture of your
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Venmo and just like, here's the total for what your daughter's
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pizza cost. Like, glad she was able to make
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it kind of a thing, right? Like, and some of you might be
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like, just let it go. No, it's, it's all about
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principle at this point. She has spent how much time and
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money on this birthday party? She already bought pizza at her
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house. She already did all of this.
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She bought treats at the movies. She was not expecting to have to
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buy another meal for one individual child.
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Just absolutely not. That is just beyond
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unacceptable. And that that is if people are
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not going to appreciate what you're doing for them, they
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don't need to have it. And which sucks because that
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would just affect that little girl.
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But sorry, your parents are awful.
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Like moral of that story, but also to the mother of this other
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little girl that she had to go drop off who the mom never
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texted her back and she's like, I texted her quite a few times.
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You don't know this family, they don't know you and you did not
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come pick up your child. If I get a text message that
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says, hey, party's over, kids are ready to be picked up, I am
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there, right? Like that is me.
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My kid is not sting, especially if I don't know these people,
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which I actually don't know if I would let her go to a party like
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that. If I don't know these parents,
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that's just I don't know how trusting I am of people.
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Not very news flash. So like I probably wouldn't have
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even let her go but the fact that you did not come pick up
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your own child and this mom is having to text over and over she
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has other kids at home that she needs to get ready for bed to
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get to school the next day. Did you just not think your kid
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was coming home? What is going on?
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K not acceptable. I am mom judging at that point
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because you are responsible for your own children and if someone
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else is in charge of them for a brief period, you have to pick
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them up at the end of that brief period.
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OK, you don't just get to be like and now I'm on vacation for
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an undisclosed amount of time. No wrong.
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So am I still annoyed? I told her the other day because
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we started talking about this again and she goes which this is
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another big thing about kids birthday parties.
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But she goes not that it mattered and it doesn't.
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This part does not matter. I am a firm believer in presents
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don't matter. If you invite someone to a
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birthday party, your presents matters.
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You don't need to bring a gift. Kids will not even remember what
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was given to them at a birthday party from other little kids,
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but they will remember who showed up.
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OK, there are people who you do expect to buy your kids presents
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and there are people who you just hope that the little kids
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come to celebrate your child. OK, so she goes.
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It's not that it even matters at all, but she goes.
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The only girl who did not bring a birthday present was this
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little girl whose dad decided to be arrogant and rude for no
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reason. That they were late, that they
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cost them more money than they had planned to spend all of
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these things. That they had to go out of their
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way to go take her home instead of her getting picked up like
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she was supposed to be. And she's the only little girl
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who did not bring a present, which speaks volumes to the
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parents. That little girl is not walking
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to Walmart to buy a present, OK? She's not old enough to deal
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with stuff like that. That is on the parents.
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And so that is just wild, Kay, wild story.
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I told her I would still charge them on Venmo to this day.
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It's been months. Yes.
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I'm still that petty that I'd be like, you know what?
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I'm actually not over this. You owe me 899 for that piece of
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pizza from Cinemark. OK?
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Like that's just that's what you owe me.
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So yeah, I am. I'm ultra triggered by birthday
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parties and some of you might be like that is a really dumb thing
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and it probably is, but I think it stems from my whole childhood
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and anyone that grew up with me could tell you this.
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I created two things. One, Hannah Palooza because my
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birthday deserved to be an entire week, not just one day.
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And two, my half birthday because I deserved to be
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celebrated every six months. OK, that's just that's my
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personality. But as I have had a lot of time
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to kind of contemplate why I did that, I realized I have a fear
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of being forgotten and I have this fear of people not caring
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enough about me to put my birthday on their calendar or to
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give me a present or whatever it may be.
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I am constantly worried that people are not going to show up
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for me or love me or support me. I've been to therapy, K, it's
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fine. I am fine.
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But I think that that is something that you just don't
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forget is who showed up for you? Who was there for you.
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Random thing, when I was 16, I had this huge birthday party.
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And I mean, everyone was invited.
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It was one of those parties where if you kind of knew me, I
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invited you. It was just everyone's welcome.
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And there was this one girl who I have grown up with since.
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I mean, young, little, little, little.
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We grew up in the same church. We grew up in the same
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elementary school all the way up to high school kind of a thing.
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And I never liked her, OK? We just did not get along.
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We were not really friends. We were always around the same
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people but we just did not really.
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We didn't vibe OK and I invited her because I felt bad that
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every other single breathing soul from our grade basically
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was invited and I didn't want her to find out and have her
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feelings hurt so I invited her. You guys, the night of the
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party, like everyone showed up. We had food, we had games,
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whatever it is. We had a ton of stuff.
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She is, she showed up, which honestly shocked me that she
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came to be honest, but she showed up.
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She is the only person that brought a present to my 16th
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birthday party, which at that moment I was like, Dang, I think
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I like you more than I like everybody else in this room
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right now. Because what do you mean you
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bought me my favorite candy And it was just candy, but I still
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remember it. I know exactly what it was and
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it had nothing to do with the gift.
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It had to do with what the gift was, which was something that I
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loved. And she happened to randomly
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remember that I loved them. People will not forget how you
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make them feel, right? So yeah, I have this thing with
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birthdays, I have this thing with birthday parties, and I am
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a sucker for. I will cry at the drop of a hat
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if I see a Facebook post of some little kids birthday party and
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the caption has anything to do with we invited his whole class.
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Nobody showed up. And I will start weeping because
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I'm like, what do you mean no one showed up to that baby's
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birthday party? Like give me the address.
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I will fly there because I cannot fathom people knowing
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where they're supposed to be. People RSVP ING people saying
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that they're going to be there. People know what time the party
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starts and they do not show up. No, no, that doesn't work for
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me. OK, I am a you show up for
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birthdays kind of person. You show up and you be there.
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If you said you're going to be there, you be there.
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So I'm on Instagram a few weeks ago and I'm tapping through
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stories and there is this influencer.
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You guys, I wanted to let this go.
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I cannot stop thinking about it because I'm so bugged by it.
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She posted a series of stories and I was like, girl, you
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shouldn't have posted the first one because this just makes you
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look bad. I don't know what you were
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trying to accomplish by posting all this.
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Sometimes less is more, Hun. So she posts that they were
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supposed to be at a birthday party but that their daughter
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had just woken up from her nap and so they were going to be
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late, but they were on their way to the party, which I'm going to
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stop right there. I haven't even gotten halfway
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through the story. I'm stopping right there.
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One, no, I do not care if your kid is on a nap schedule.
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If you are supposed to be somewhere at a specific time,
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you wake that baby up from its nap, OK.
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Whether you put them down a little bit earlier for the nap
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so that they can be awake in time, whether you just skip
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their nap entirely, whether you have to come home a little bit
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earlier from the party and take a later nap, like that is more
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acceptable than being late for a nap.
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OK, I will not stand by that. I am not one of those moms.
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It's like I live by my kids nap schedule and everyone else is
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just on that schedule. No, you are allowed to follow
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that schedule 99% of the time Monday through Friday.
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You can follow that. No one is going to plan their
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other like their kids birthday party around your kids nap
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schedule. That's just selfish, OK?
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And I do not think it's acceptable to blame your kids
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nap on the reason to be late. And mind you, she was like,
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we're going to be 15 minutes late 'cause she just woke up,
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OK? I promise you, you could have
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open her up 15 minutes sooner and then right on time.
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OK, so there was my first issue with this.
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But then it gets worse. So I see that story, I roll my
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eyes, I'm annoyed. Whatever.
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I tap to the next story, it is them on the doorstep of this
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person's house for this birthday party.
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And the story says, well, I didn't read the invitation and
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so I thought the party was here. Turns out it's at a location
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that is 45 minutes away. So like now we're going to be an
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hour late. And then the next story, which I
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was, my blood was boiling. OK boiling at that point 'cause
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I'm like how selfish can you be? And she is not I guess I don't
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know her she might be selfish but she doesn't give off that
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vibe for the most part. So like I was honestly shocked
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by this whole situation but it once again just re triggered my
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whole birthday party trauma. And so then she posts the next
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story at the birthday party an hour late.
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And I, once again, I just wanted to cry because you know what?
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This isn't even my party. And I wanted to cry for that
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little girl. And some people might be like,
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she probably didn't even notice they had so many other people
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there. But what if they didn't?
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What if every single other person went through that same
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schedule that you did? They let their kids nap too
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long. They went to the wrong location.
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They were also an hour late. What if that little girl was
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sitting there with no friends to play with, no one around to
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celebrate her because everyone else?
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Did not take the time to make sure she was a priority.
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OK, and this is where I think this is where it re triggered me
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because when Blake had her second birthday, Trace was a
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newborn. And so there's obviously, you
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know, postpartum hormones and I wanted to feel like I was a good
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mom and I wanted her to feel special.
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She's 2 like she's turning 2. She had no idea what was
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happening, but I wanted to give that to her.
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And so my mom flew into town. We planned this little birthday
20:43
party at a park. We had some balloons and some
20:46
cupcakes, you know, and we invited family and some friends,
20:50
told them the time, everything right?
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We are at this park and no one showed up for 45 minutes.
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OK. We had family that lived 2
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minutes down the road from this park and they were 45 minutes
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late. No text when they got there, no
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apology, no reason for being late, not an explanation of, you
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know, the house caught on fire. We had to deal with that and
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that's why we're 45 minutes late.
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Nothing. And I know a lot of people would
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just think, well, she's 2, She's not going to remember this.
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OK, well, guess who's not 2? And guess who does remember this
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Moi? OK, I remember it because I sat
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there and I kept tapping my phone being like, no, no one is
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here. No one even is texting me to
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tell me why they're not here. And I'm getting real annoyed.
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And I mean, I do have a life, you guys.
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Like I was. This birthday party was not
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supposed to be that long. She is only two.
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I have a newborn, I am nursing, I am all over the place with
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hormones and I know some people would want to blame my anger on
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that. No, my feelings were valid.
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You being 45 minutes late to this birthday party for no
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reason other than your lack of care.
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And it made me feel. It made me feel a type of way
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because I'm like, you clearly don't care enough about her or
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about us to be on time, right? Like if you cared enough about
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our feelings and our day and our schedule, you would have made it
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a bigger priority to be here on time.
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Because I didn't want to let the party go till, you know, when it
22:28
says like, 11 to one. Yeah, I'm good to be wrapping
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that up by 12:30. I am good if that party ends
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early. I didn't want it to go past 1
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into 130 because you couldn't be on time.
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OK. It just shows this lack of
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acknowledging other people and making other people feel like
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they are a priority. And I think that throughout the
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years, that's why I've struggled with doing birthday parties for
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my kids. It's because I have seen over
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and over since having a little girl to now three kids, there
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are certain family members that have not shown up when they
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should. Like, you know, when I said that
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there are certain family members that should give presents and
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other people, it doesn't matter. They have been forgotten by
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people that should give presents.
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They have been forgotten by people that should give phone
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calls. And I think it's more triggering
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for me now because I don't care. We do not have Hannah Palooza
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anymore, OK? We do not have half birthdays
23:25
because now I have my kids to love and adore and celebrate.
23:31
And I want to make sure that they always feel like they are
23:34
so special, so important, that they have been remembered.
23:39
And so it has been hard for me to want to do parties because I
23:43
feel like people still just don't show up on time or they do
23:47
not give the amount of effort that I give to them.
23:53
And I think that that's a hard thing is I will always be the
23:57
first person to every kids birthday party because my, my
24:03
heart cannot physically handle having some little child think
24:07
that no one is coming to their birthday party.
24:09
Nope. I will immediately start crying,
24:11
OK? Because I'm like, no, no, no.
24:13
You are so special. You are so loved.
24:14
You are so worth this. I will be even if I left my kids
24:18
at home, if my kid woke up with the flu, you know what, I'm
24:20
going to be at your birthday party and I'm going to sing as
24:23
loud as possible while you blow out those candles because I want
24:27
you to know you are worth showing up for, OK?
24:30
And if you're going to be late that you have better have an
24:33
excuse. You can't just wake up and be
24:35
like, I just don't want to go today.
24:37
No, that's not how this works. Because unless you are willing
24:41
to have everyone in your life also treat you like that, that
24:45
doesn't work. You can't have your cake and eat
24:47
it too. OK, unless you're the birthday
24:48
kid and then you can. But I think that this is also
24:51
more than just birthday parties, right?
24:54
Like this is more relatable than just being a parent and having
24:57
little kids that go to kids birthday parties or your own kid
24:59
having birthday parties and the stress and all of that.
25:02
It's acknowledging who shows up for you.
25:05
Because I was on TikTok scrolling and it had something
25:07
to do with, you know, I've had this best friend since childhood
25:11
and she couldn't even text me on my birthday, but I spent
25:15
hundreds on her birthday dinner and presents.
25:18
So the friendship is over. Because if you're not willing to
25:21
give even a fraction of what I'm giving.
25:24
And so this is not just for kids, This is for grown-ups,
25:28
this is for friendships, this is for relationships.
25:30
If you're buying your boyfriend everything on his wish list and
25:34
you have a cake and balloons and a whole celebration and you
25:37
throw a surprise party and he forgets your birthday, yeah, no,
25:42
those are not. Those are not acceptable
25:44
behaviors, right? Like, you need to find someone
25:46
who will match your energy. You need to find friends that
25:51
will do a birthday dinner for you.
25:53
They take you out. They make you feel special.
25:56
They do what you want to do. They eat where you want to eat.
25:59
They don't make it about them finding your people who will
26:03
love you and be there for you. And my husband has an uncle who
26:10
he's a mix of so many different things, Like he's a mix of a
26:14
father figure to tailor an older brother to tailor a best friend.
26:19
Like he's this mix. But also to our kids, he's this
26:25
mix of like a grandpa and an uncle and you know, they're best
26:31
friend because they're obsessed with him.
26:33
And he will go out of his way to buy them presents that they will
26:38
love to take them to their favorite place to eat.
26:43
Like he knows them and cares about them and he shows up for
26:46
them and he even does it like for me, you know, I'm, I mean, I
26:50
married his nephew. I gave him, you know, these
26:53
great nieces and nephews. But like, he doesn't owe me
26:58
anything, but because he loves them, he loves me.
27:03
He will take me to dinner on my birthday.
27:05
They will buy me presents on my birthday.
27:08
Like they make me feel seen. And I think that's so important
27:11
too, is it's not just like, oh, they're friends of so and so and
27:14
that they only care about, you know, the spouse and not the
27:17
other one or oh, they only care about the kids.
27:20
The parents basically don't exist.
27:21
Like finding people who love and support you and are there for
27:25
you and make you feel valued and acknowledged, right?
27:30
Like, I feel like I don't have to have Hannah Palooza anymore
27:34
because enough people in my close circle show up that I
27:38
don't need to remind people to love me anymore.
27:42
OK I used to get the biggest high drugs could not match the
27:47
high of getting on Facebook at the end of my birthday and
27:52
seeing how many people told me happy birthday and I'm like wow
27:55
118 people wrote happy birthday Hannah I'm a queen.
28:01
They all remembered me na girl, Facebook told them all and they
28:05
all used the generic auto typed message.
28:07
But you know what? They still sent it, which kudos
28:11
to them. OK, that made me feel so special
28:13
back in the day. Now I don't even think I get on
28:15
Facebook. I kind of feel bad.
28:18
My dad's birthday is the day after mine and he'll always be
28:20
like, I have to go thank everyone.
28:22
I'm like, Oh yeah, I haven't done that in about 7 years.
28:24
I don't think I've even liked 1. I don't even think I've liked
28:27
one happy birthday message. OK, it's been a it's been a long
28:30
time. But I also don't think any of
28:31
them remember that they've done it.
28:32
My mom will get on Facebook and I'll be like, what are you
28:35
doing? And she's like, oh, I have to do
28:37
my happy birthdays for the day y'all?
28:39
She does this every day. She will get on her Facebook and
28:43
she will go do the happy birthday, the auto generic one
28:46
to every single person. And sometimes I'm like, do you
28:49
even know that person? Like why are you friends with
28:51
them on Facebook? Mum, she doesn't know, but she
28:53
sure tells them happy birthday. OK, but one person I want to
28:57
give a shout out to, I don't know her.
28:59
She doesn't know me. She doesn't know this is even
29:01
going to be in here. But there are do's and don'ts,
29:05
right? Like there are pros and cons.
29:07
There are negatives, there are positives.
29:09
There was a mum at the birthday party at the beginning of the
29:13
story, at the very beginning of that birthday party with the
29:16
movie that this mum was already at their house before they were
29:22
for this little girl's birthday party to go to the movie
29:24
theater. The mum was there.
29:26
She walked in with them when they got there.
29:29
Her daughter can't eat gluten. She brought her daughter a
29:34
gluten free pizza and a gluten free cupcake so that her
29:39
daughter would not be left out. But she did not expect this mom
29:43
to go buy gluten free stuff to be like, oh, my daughter can't
29:47
have that. She can't come to the party or
29:50
oh, you're going to have to accommodate her.
29:51
No, right. Like this mom showed up early
29:55
slash on time, came with a present, came with food that her
30:00
daughter could eat so that she was not inconveniencing anyone.
30:03
And then she stayed to help clean up, to ask what anyone
30:07
like if she needed help, if she could help with the other girls.
30:11
Right. Like this mom didn't owe her
30:13
anything. She could have easily just
30:15
dropped her off like every other mom did.
30:18
But she didn't because she valued what this family was
30:23
doing. She valued that they were
30:25
including her daughter and she wanted her daughter to be
30:27
included. But she knew her daughter had
30:30
special requirements that needed more attention than what they
30:33
were going to be able to give her.
30:35
And she showed up and did that right.
30:38
Be that mom. Be that person that shows up
30:41
early that goes out of their way to make it an easier day to make
30:46
sure celebrating them is about them and not you or your kid.
30:50
Like don't think it's acceptable to be an hour late with no
30:54
explanation other than I didn't read the invitation.
30:58
That is just that's a cop out. That's just you admitting you're
31:02
arrogant that you're, I don't know.
31:05
I'm like, you might as well just be like, I'm dumb and I didn't
31:07
read it. How long have you had this
31:10
invite? I'd probably guess for a hot
31:11
minute. OK, that is how being a grown up
31:14
works. And when you are in charge of a
31:15
child to be at a birthday party, you are the one that they need
31:18
to be reading the invitation. Ki don't think your two year old
31:22
is going to be reading the invitation telling you what time
31:24
and where to be at this birthday party.
31:26
OK, that's just not how it's going to be.
31:29
So shout out to the people who show up who remember you, who
31:34
make you feel validated, who remember your kids, who make
31:39
them feel special. Because I remember those people
31:42
I remember who doesn't show up for my kids.
31:44
I remember who does not. Make them a priority.
31:48
And be the kind of people you expect in your life.
31:51
Surround yourself with friends who will not forget you.
31:55
Find yourself a partner, husband, wife, boyfriend,
31:58
girlfriend. Find yourself someone who makes
32:01
you feel like you don't have to have your pretend week long
32:06
celebration anymore because he makes you feel so celebrated.
32:10
OK? Taylor has made birthdays so
32:16
amazing for me for the fact that he does the little things.
32:22
It's not the big grand gestures, right?
32:24
For me, it's the little the little ways he shows me that he
32:28
loves me and that he wants me to feel special on my birthday.
32:31
And even when I say, oh, I don't want flowers, you better believe
32:34
homeboy has flowers for me because he wants me to know I'm
32:37
worth those things. And I realized throughout my
32:40
life I've always been like, Oh no, no, I'm good.
32:42
Like I don't need that or oh, I don't want that because I never
32:46
wanted people to have to spend too much on me because then I
32:49
would just be seen as this burden.
32:50
K. You're not a burden and neither
32:53
are your kids. So don't fill your life with
32:55
people who make you feel like you are OK.
32:59
Happy birthday.