Latest / Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse / You’re Not Starting Over; You’re Starting From Experience

Transcript

You’re Not Starting Over; You’re Starting From Experience · Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Is there a major life transition pinching you?
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: I know you may be asking, what's next?
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_01: What's my purpose?
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: What if?
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_01: Because I've asked those two.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Start Your Comeback podcast.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Tony Thrash, a certified life coach, and I want to share the tools and practical steps to help you create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: So far, we've talked about the little things that hold you together, the small wins that keep you moving, and the habits that build your faith.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: And today we're talking about the heart of the comeback, rebuilding our identity.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: Because when your life changes, whether it's through divorce, retirement, empty nesting, loss, or just a major transition, you start to wonder, who am I now?
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: And that is the beginning of the awareness of where you are in reality.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: And that awareness is when rebuilding begins.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: Because remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: So let's just jump in and let's talk about a few things that will help us to rebuild that identity.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: Number one, let's let go of all the old labels.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: When we go through a big change, it's natural to cling to the titles that used to define us.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's wife, husband, teacher, mom, coach, provider, CEO, whatever it may be.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: But when those roles shift or end, you're left staring at the mirror, wondering who is looking back.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: I've been there.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: I remember sitting in my kitchen after my divorce, coffee in hand, and realizing that the life I built, every title, every routine was gone.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: And what was left, well, that was just me.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: In that moment, I was terrified.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: But it turned out to be a holy moment because it's the moment I started discovering who God made me to be without all the labels attached.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: You're not losing yourself, you're just uncovering who you are.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: The you that's left after loss isn't broken, she's real, and man is she ready.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: Number two, reconnect with what brings you to life.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: When you're in transition, it's easy to forget what used to make you feel alive.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: You get so focused on survival that joy feels like a luxury.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: But rediscovering joy is a crucial part of rebuilding your identity.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: Ask yourself these questions.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: What makes me laugh again?
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: What or who gives me energy?
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: What used to light me up that I've stopped doing?
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: And what new things scares me in a good way?
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes we think self-discovery is selfish.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's not.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's the beginning of the stewardshipness of your life that God has created you to be.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: Because God gave you specific passions and curiosities and desires for a reason.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: And then when you reconnect with them, you're honoring the design He put in you.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: For me, that looked like picking up a pen again.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: Because writing became the thing that helped me process who I was becoming.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: For someone else, it might be painting or volunteering, hiking or cooking.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever reminds you of that life can still be beautiful.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: Because follow what brings you peace.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: That's your compass.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: God is our compass.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: Follow him.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: Let him redesign and recreate in you what he's already put in there.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: Ask him to make you aware of all the things he's created you to be.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: Don't chase what looks impressive.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: Just follow what feels like an alignment with your soul.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: Number three, take ownership of your new story.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: And let me tell you, this is hard to do because those labels that you had before, they simply stick.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: And it's hard to adjust those.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: But at some point you have to stop asking, who am I now?
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: And start declaring, this is who I'm becoming.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: You can't wait for someone else to validate your new chapter.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: No one can hand you your new identity.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: You have to choose it.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: You have to write it, you have to walk in it, and you have to believe it.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: That might mean changing your routines, your boundaries, or even your inner dialogue.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: I guarantee you it will change your inner dialogue.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: Because the truth is you become what you repeatedly say about yourself.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: So start speaking differently.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: I'm healing, I'm learning, I'm growing, I'm rebuilding.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: Because you're not who you were before, because you're not meant to be.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: This version of you has battle scars and wisdom, and that's a powerful combination.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: You see, your identity isn't discovered because God gave you that identity the minute that you were born, but now he's trying to develop it one decision at a time.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: Ask him to show you your identity and then start to believe in it one small step at a time.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: Because every small intentional choice is shaping your next chapter.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: Number four.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: When your identity starts shifting, life will test whether your actions line up with who you say you are.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: If you say you're walking in peace, but keep living in chaos, you'll feel that friction.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: If you say you're trusting God, but never pause to listen, you'll fill that gap.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: The goal isn't perfection.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: You see, it's alignment.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: Your outer world begins to match your inner convictions.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: You'll start saying no to what drains you and yes to what develops you.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: Because that's when life starts to feel a bit lighter.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: Not because it's easy, but because it's true.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: And number five, the little things that just rebuild your identity.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: Let's make it really simple.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: Speak kindly to yourself.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: Your internal voice shapes your external confidence.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: Keep promises to yourself because when you keep promises to yourself, yourself begins to build that identity and have that integrity built in.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: Stay curious.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: Try new things without expecting mastery.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: That one specifically is hard for me.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: I want to be good at it before I even try it.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: And that is a detriment to me because then I won't try anything new.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm learning to stay curious.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: Keep connecting, don't isolate while you're still trying to figure it out.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: And then celebrate the growth you can't yet see because it takes time.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: But remember your win list.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_01: Write those little things down because these small choices will quietly reintroduce you to yourself.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: And one day you'll catch a glimpse of the person you've become, and she'll surprise you.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: She'll be stronger, steadier, and sure of who she is in God's eyes.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: Now here's your challenge for the week, and it's a good one.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to write a who I'm becoming statement.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: So grab your journal and write this out.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: I'm becoming a woman who blank.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to finish that sentence.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: Then write a few more, maybe.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: I'm becoming a woman who trusts God more than her fears.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: Or I'm becoming a woman who sets boundaries without guilt.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_01: Or I'm becoming a woman who lives in peace and not panic.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: Put it somewhere you'll see it every day.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: The refrigerator door, the bathroom mirror.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: Because identity isn't about who you were, it's about who you're becoming.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: You can't build a new life with an old identity.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: So speak the new one out loud until your soul starts to believe it.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: Transitions have a way of stripping us down to what's essential.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: And while that can feel terrifying, it's also where transformation happens.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: You're not starting over from scratch.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_01: You're just starting from what you've experienced.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: Every little act of courage, every quiet win, every faithful habit, it's been building this version of you all along.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: Your comeback story isn't about going back to who you were.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's about finally becoming who you were meant to be.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: As we wrap up this Little Things Matter series, I want you to remember this.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_01: The little things aren't just background noise, they're the building blocks of your new life.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: If this series has encouraged you, I'd love for you to share it with someone who needs to remember who she is.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: Keep riding your daily wins and adding to your faith file.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: And as always, remember, your life isn't over.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's just under construction.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: Please keep showing up for the little things because they're building something beautiful, and that is you.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: I'll see you next time.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, thanks for listening.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_01: I don't take it for granted that you're here.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: You didn't listen by mistake.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: If you want to reach out, you can DM me on Instagram at Tony Thrash.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_01: Until next week, remember, there's still time left on the clock.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: Let's get you off the bench to start your comeback.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: I want to give a special shout out to Country Club for the original music.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: You can find them on Instagram at Country Club.