Latest / Stuff Mom Never Told You / SMNTY Fiction: The Right To Be Forgotten

Transcript

SMNTY Fiction: The Right To Be Forgotten · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Andy and Samantha and welcome to stuff.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: I never told you a production of I Heart Radio.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: It is time for another edition of Sminty Fiction. As always,
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: do not panic if this is not your thing. UM,
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: just something we're doing. What's a month or so um
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: where we do a traumatic reading. Yeah. I like to
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: think it's a traumatic reading um with the soundscaping of
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: our amazing super producer Christina, who deserves all of the
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: recognition and props because she makes these sounds so good.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: She she really really does yes in a good way.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: And this one has no real chugger warning. But it's
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: a little sad, I guess. So if you're tender emotionally
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: for whatever reason, maybe not for you, I think it
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: will be fine. I think it's kind of goofy honestly,
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: but you know, And as always a disclaimer. I wrote
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: this for an idea me and my ex had where
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: we were going to have five people to submit ideas
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: for a music video of one song and play all
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: of the film submissions at once simultaneously on different screens
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: in the same room, so you could like look at
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: all the different screens playing and see all these different
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: interpretations of this one song. We got the idea from
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: a museum exhibit we really liked, so I wrote this
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: um but yeah, it's not super refined or edited or anything. Also,
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: a lot of these were written with the intent of
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: being simple in mind, so it's like a single narrator,
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: which is sad because I want Samantham to be more
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: involved in these. I should give you the next one.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: It should be you. I would love it. I would
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: love it. Speaking of different interpretations, that would be great.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: I just do my own interpretation of it all. Yes,
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: I would love it. I would love it. And yes,
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: I did want to release this one as it comes
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: at as Christmas Eve, because we are in the midst
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: of cuffing season, which is a term I originally learned
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: from you someone else that yesterday, yes, which it is
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: essentially what like dating time. Essentially you want to be
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: cuffed or snuggled up with someone because it is cold
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: and it's the holiday, right, Okay, okay, And I did
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: just I also just learned about dating terms like situation ships,
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: which is quote a romantic or sexual relationship that is
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: not considered to be formal or established, and roaching, meaning
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: someone is sleeping around with a lot of people while
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: in a relationship. Roaching is new. Yeah, well I'm learning
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: new terms all the time. When it comes in the
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: dating world, I actually want to I want to come
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: back to that and do like a kind of terminology
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: update about these things and what isn't Yes exactly, but
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: that is four later. For now, please sit back, relax,
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: and enjoy this fiction called the Right to be forgotten.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: There once was a man named Will, and Will was
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: in love. Her name was Hannah. Will and Hannah were perfect.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: They adored each other, the kind of love that is
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: pure and fun and steady and unyielding and beautiful, the
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: kind that makes people jealous. They took goofy pictures together
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: and went on adventures and stayed in and knew each
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: other truly, heart and soul complete. There was no Will
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: without Hannah. They got married in a blur of bright,
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: bright happiness. He remembered thinking wildly it was impossible to
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: feel this happy, and that he was worthy of it,
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: and they were going to live happily ever after. But
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: they didn't. Then Hannah was gone, and Will's world was shattered.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: All meaning was lost. Nothing made sense without Hannah. There
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: was no point without Hannah. Tears, a bone deep grief
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: and an unending well of physical aching loss, Sitting aimlessly, staring, staring,
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: staring at a picture of them together, so wonderfully, willing
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: to be silly around each other, so happy, so complete.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: It was night. He'd woken up suddenly, gasping a handover
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: his racing heart, dreaming of Hannah that he was screaming
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: for her to come back, but she couldn't hear him.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: He blinked away the image, eyes adjusting to the dark. Nothing,
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: always nothing. He was alone. He sat up slowly, the
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: familiar cocoon of grief in casing him. He got up,
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: went to the fridge and poured himself a glass of water,
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: gulping it down. A picture of the two of them, blissful, unknowing,
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: smiled back at him. Then his skin started to prickle.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: Cold crept up his spine. Behind him, a woman set
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: up in the bed, a woman who had not been there,
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: who could not be there. It was Hannah. She looked
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: the same, but different, hazy around the edges, soft focus.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: She watched him, solemn still. She was wearing her favorite pajamas,
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: bright suns and stars and moons that clashed with her
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: serious expression. Will turned, he stared in her direction, set
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: his glass down, slowly made his way over to her.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Sat on the bed next to her, hid his face
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: in his hands, hid the tears streaming down his cheeks,
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: tears that should be impossible, with how much he cried
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: in the past days, weeks, months. When he opened his eyes,
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: the woman was gone. He laid down and pulled the
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: covers around him and laid awake until the light turned
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: purple and blue, and the sun rose, and he rose
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: with it to face another meaningless day. The toaster dinged.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: Hannah was waiting in the kitchen, smiling. Will blinked once twice,
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: reached into the cabinet, retrieving a jar of peanut butter.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: He started slathering on his toast and m haze. Autopilot,
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: a zombie as he had been since he lost Hannah,
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: and a creator was left in his soul. Be stirring.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: The jar knocked over. Will jumped at the sound, staring
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: at the overturned jar warily, he reached the upright it,
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: so did Hannah. Their hands almost touched, but Hannah pulled
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: away at the last second. Will ignored her, Tired of
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: the fathomless grief, she brought unwilling and unable to face her,
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: but he'd never been good at ignoring her, and she'd
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: always been persistent. He was sitting in traffic listening to
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: a voicemail from his boss. Take your time, We understand,
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: she says, though Will knows they don't. He hangs up
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: none again, all the sound around him falling away in
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: its shadow. Next to his ear, a woman laughed. He jerked,
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: looking around, afraid of what he'd see and what he wouldn't,
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: but there was no one. After a long moment, he
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: brought his frantic breathing under control and turned back to
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: the road. Tense. No one was there, he told himself.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: He sat at his desk, feeling fake, incorporeal, as though
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: he might fade from existence at any second. A coworker approached,
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: her eyes shining with compassion that could not penetrate the
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: sheaths of sadness around him. How are you, she asked.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: He didn't respond, and after a moment she left. He
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: turned back to his laptop, eyes burning, throat tight, so
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: utterly dead inside, and wondering if it might be better
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: to be dead outside too. An image of Hannah pops
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: up in his social media feed. Smiling happy, he snaffed
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: the lid of his laptop shut. He stands abruptly his chair,
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: rolling away loud in the quiet space. He left his
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: steps quick, imagining Hannah was right behind him, the weight
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: of her gaze unbearable. He drives home, turning up the
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: radio as loud as it will go, a spirit to
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: drown everything out, to drown her out. The song is
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: so loud he can barely hear his own voice as
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: he joins in, builting out the lyrics. Determined to feel
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: something else, to think of anything else, or not think
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: at all, to prove to himself that he could be happy.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: He glanced at the passenger side, and Hannah was there,
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: shouting the words along with him. His heart stuttered to
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: a stop, and he jerked the wheel, another driver honking
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: at him. He swallowed, tamping back his panic. Ramrod still
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: determined not to look back at the passenger seat, even
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: though it took everything he had not to. When he
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: got home, he shakily opened his laptop, navigating to the
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: pictures folder. He delanned, leading them with self destructive impulsivity,
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: determined to erase her from his life. Hannah watched him
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: from the door her arms crossed. He refused to look
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: at her. She pushed herself off the frame, slowly taking
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: the seat next to him. He tensed, but did not turn.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: Tears burned in his eyes. Hannah's pixelated face stared back
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: at him, her usual blinding smile, almost obscured by the
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: gray notification, asking him if he was sure he wanted
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: to permanently delete these items. He hovered the mouse over
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: the image indecisively as Hannah watched. He closed out of
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: the notification, breathing raggett. He called his best friend, Overcome
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: with desperation, he hesitated, heart racing before he said, I've
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: been seeing her Annah. His friend was clearly taken aback where,
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: he asked, everywhere? Little whispered in my apartment, my office,
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: my car, my bed, like a ghost or something. His
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: friend asked. Will didn't respond, He couldn't, and the words
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: hung dead between them. His friends said he was worried
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: about him, that loss can mess with people. Asked if
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: he was okay. He wasn't okay. Hannah was gone, of course,
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: he wasn't okay. He was eating take out, mindlessly, watching
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: something on TV, something he'd never seen before, but didn't
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: care about. So as not to trigger any memories of Hannah,
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: but she was there anyway. She was at his side,
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: standing over him, shouting, muffled, distorted. He turned the volume up.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: The next morning, he woke out of a restless sleep
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: to the sound of water running the shower. He realized
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: after a moment dread and anticipation gripped him, and, as
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: if in a dream, he stood and slowly made his
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: way to the bathroom, heart drumming in his ears. As
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: he got closer, he could hear a woman humming. He
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: held his breath as he gently pushed the bathroom door open.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: Through the shower curtain, he saw the of the wet
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: of a woman. He jerked away, leaning heavily against the sink,
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: heart galloping panting. He squeezed his eyes shut, took a
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: slow breath, then another. The humming cut off abruptly as
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: to the sound of running water. Still, he kept his
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: eyes shut for a long moment before he had the
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: courage to open them. The woman was gone. She was gone.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: That should be a relief, right then, why did he
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: feel such monumental loss. His whole body trembled as he
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: turned back to the sink. His eyes landed on a
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: glass with two toothbrushes in them. Suddenly he picked one
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: up and threw it away. Will softly drank his beer.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: It was night and he was cooking. Music played. The
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: tears in his eyes made the light bow too bright
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: and too blurry. He saw her and smiled. She was
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: laughing and joking and dancing like they used to. But
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: she's not real, he told himself, She's not real. The song,
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: soft at first, gets louder and at him. That night,
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: he couldn't sleep. Hannah wasn't there. He unlocked his phone,
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: the blue light garish in the dark. He was crying again,
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: but he almost didn't notice. He shook when he opened
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: the video he'd been avoiding ever since. His life was
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: torn asunder. The sight of her, shining, happy, laughing, twirling
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: around in a wedding dress brought a gas to his lips.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: Fairy lights illuminate her in the dark. Will sobbed at
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: the soothing sounds of her life that were now like
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: a knife, ripping him apart and exposing him. Her smile,
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: her happiness, a condemnation. Another man stepped into frame, beaming
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: at her, hugging her to him. Will's heart stuttered dropped.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: They were in love. Hannah had moved on and found
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: love with another man. People crowded them, laughing, smiling, the
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: music soft and sweet. They looked at each other. They'll
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: look in her eyes, the same look she used to
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: fix on Will, as though she really saw him and
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: saw the good in him, the value, and loved him,
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: cared for him, and she had. But now she had
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: moved on to another person, and Will was alone, with
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: only the ghost of her memories like a haunting, keeping
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: him from moving on. She'll fade, people told him. But
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: Will didn't want her to fade. There was no Will
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: without Hannah. He was a fragment without her. The ghost
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: of her would haunt him forever. Any time he laughed
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: or cried, or drink that beer that she loved, watched
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: that movie that made her laugh, or sat on their couch,
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: or did or felt anything because they did everything, experienced
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: everything together. But at least the ghost of her was
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: better than not having her in his life at all.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: That brings us to the end of this fiction portion.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: I know you're probably mad. I know you're probably mad
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: at the ending. I like to call this in the
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: reverse six cents. Oh yep. The name comes from this
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: legal push from a few years ago where a man
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: was suing companies like Google for the quote right to
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: be forgotten, and it's become somewhat of a term in
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: regards the Internet and data collection. In this whole idea
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: of the right to be forgotten are to know what
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: data is being collected and to have control over it.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: And again, I don't know why, but I really like
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: applying these technical terms to human nature. Other titles were
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: The Ghost of You in a Modern Day fairy Tale,
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: but this one has also been on my mind because
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: I've been thinking about the power of breakup stories and
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: how a breakup can really wreck you in your life.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: And I just like all those things where you see
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: pieces of the other person everywhere, if the life you
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: had everywhere, all the things and items and places that
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: remind you of times you spent together. I don't know,
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: it's just it feels like a ghost to me. It
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: feels like something hanging over, like it's always there um
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: whether you want it to be or not. And I've
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: also been thinking because we were talking about this year
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: has been called the Year of the Breakup album with
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: Taylor Swift and Adele dominating the chichs, and you and
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: I have talked before about you know, ending up in
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: someone else's song or yes, things like that, and I don't.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: It's strange to me that these x is I have
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: in my life where I'm so convinced it's a good
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: thing we broke up still have this. I don't know
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: if it's power, but I still think, Oh, I wonder
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: what they would think if they knew I were talking
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: about them, or I wonder what they would think about
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: my conversations now about how I think relationships should look,
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: or else. Actually, like all of these things, it just
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: amazes me. It makes sense if you spend so much
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: time with someone, you make these memories with people, and
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: perhaps the part of you thinks you know it's forever,
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: and then it's not, and but it is. I'll just
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: catch myself thinking, why do I care what he thinks?
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: Right right? M hmm, I have? And it cracks me
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: up that I've had like the most stereotypical breakup story
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: that you can imagine, with the ice cream and the
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: crying and the cookies and all of this stuff. And
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: I never would have thought it would have been like that,
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: and then it would have lasted as long as it did.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: Because it did. Yeah, so Merry Christmas. Say Merry Christmas,
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: get your suckle box of cookies and yes, yes do
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: whatever you know pikes. You happy is healthy for you
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: self care wise. We are so thrilled to have you
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: as a listener or all of you, so thank you
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: as always if you would like to contact us, and
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: you can our email as steffidium Mom and stuff at
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: I hurt me dot com. You can find us on
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: Twitter at moms podcast, or on Instagram and stuff I've
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: Never Told you. Thanks as always to our super producer
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: Christina making it all happen, yes, and thanks to you
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: for listening Stuff I Never Told The production of I
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: Heart Radio. For more podcast on my Heart Radio, is
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: it the Eye Heartdio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows. H