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These are 4 things that ALL narcissists have · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:01
  So these are four things that all narcissists have.
• 0:05
  Y'all know I do not like to speak in absolutes on this
• 0:08
  channel. I very rarely say all.
• 0:11
  So y'all know how deep this video is, how serious it is to
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  my heart. And if you're new here, my name
• 0:16
  is Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnose narcissist
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  myself. Here to give you the perspective
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  of a narcissist and let's hot right into it.
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  Y'all. The four things.
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  I'm going to list the four things and I'm going to go.
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  I'm going to go piece by piece throughout the video.
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  The first thing is insecurities. Next is ego.
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  Third is going to be fear. We're going to get deep in fear.
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  And the 4th is the ability to compartmentalize.
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  Those are the four things that all narcissists have.
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  I know y'all say believe not all nurses have the most.
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  All narcissists have them. No, but seriously, let's go
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  piece by piece right here. The very first one is yeah,
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  insecurities or yes, yes, yes, yes, just just yes.
• 1:04
  I'm just going to say yes, narcissists have insecurities.
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  And that's not me just picking or poking or whatever the case
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  may be. Narcissistic people absolutely
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  have insecurities and that's what ends up happening.
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  Y'all seriously? And this is the mindset.
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  This is what goes on internally with narcissists.
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  Like we have in, we are insecure.
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  We absolutely are. Now what ends up happening is
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  when you're dealing with a narcissist, they'll call you
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  insecure. They'll tell you that you're the
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  insecure one that you, the one who is you got it.
• 1:34
  Your insecurities are going to destroy our relationship.
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  They'll tell you that you're the insecure one, but in all
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  actuality, it's them, right? In all actuality, it's the
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  narcissistic person that is truly insecure and you know it.
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  Y'all know it. Y'all vibe, y'all, We are right
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  here, right? We right here together.
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  They are insecurity. The insecurities make us feel
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  bad, like we always feel like we are lacking something.
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  We always feel like we could be doing more.
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  So we always feel like that other people are better than us
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  and or, or we'll, we're competing with other people,
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  right? That's the heart of the
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  insecurities and insecurities start from from when we were
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  younger. That's what goes on.
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  The insecurities that narcissists have start from the
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  time we are yay high. We are just, there's babies
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  pretty much we're baby nor we were baby narcissist or like the
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  what you call the little nymphs, little narcissist, little nymphs
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  narcissist, nymph narcissist. That's where the insecurities
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  start where we feel like we're not enough, where we feel like
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  we could be doing more. Our parents or our caretakers or
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  our friends or whoever it was made us feel like we were, we
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  were not enough. That made us insecure.
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  You know, insecurities, if we don't handle them in childhood,
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  in youth, in our youth, they do tend to grow and propagate in
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  our in our adulthood. They do that.
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  The insecurities that we have in our youth become the
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  insecurities that we have in adulthood most times, right?
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  But also also, and this is the thing with narcissists, even
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  with me, even with me right here, like if I have an
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  insecurity that I actually can fix, once I fix that insecurity,
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  I find something else wrong with me.
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  And that's a y'all see my old video, go back to my older
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  videos. You'll see out a big gap.
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  My teeth, right? But when I got my teeth fixed, I
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  was like, yeah, my teeth are good.
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  But now it's my stomach. I'm fixing my stomach now it's
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  gonna be my head, my hair, whatever it is, it's always
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  going to be something. I'm just not good and I'm just
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  not good and I'm not there. I'm not there.
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  When the narcissist gets rid of 1 insecurity, other ones pop up.
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  It's like like like cut off Medusa's hair or a Hydra's head.
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  You cut off 1-2 more grow in this place.
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  So yes, every single narcissist that you meet is probably going
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  to have an insecurity of some kind.
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  And yes, you can attack those insecurities, but likely how do
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  we figure out what insecurities they have?
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  They'll tell you what they they'll tell you what it is
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  because they'll accuse you of it.
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  You're so insecure. Why are you worried about what
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  I'm doing and nice? Why are you worried about me?
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  Why are you watching my location?
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  And they're doing the same thing.
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  They will tell you their insecurities by accusing you of
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  having them The next one number two ego woo y'all know the ego,
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  the ego, the ego. The ego is the ego on this guy
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  is absolutely insane. We know that most narcissists
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  are going to have a huge ego. Absolutely true.
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  Y'all know y'all vibing with me right now?
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  The egos are going to be both huge and fragile at the same
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  time, which doesn't seem like it mixes right.
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  Willie, how can you have a huge fragile ego?
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  Let me explain A lot of people like how can you have a huge
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  balloon, right? Those things exist.
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  How can you have a huge pane of glass?
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  Those things exist. You have a huge pane of glass,
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  but a little small rock can break it, right?
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  A little small rock can break. And I think, and this is my
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  perspective right here, the egos of a narcissist are there are
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  like these big barriers to try to protect and safeguard our
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  insecurities. Let me say that right there
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  because like, just think about it.
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  That big glass pane I was just talking about, they're standing
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  in front of something. It's just not a glass pane in
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  the middle of the desert. It's just, oh, what was this
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  glass pane in the middle of the desert?
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  This glass, this huge glass box. What the hell did this come
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  from? No, there's something inside the
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  box. It's the fact that I'm not
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  feeling like, the fact that I feel like I might be too short,
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  so I can't overcompensate with working out in the gym, right?
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  The fact that I, I, my hair is not growing as fast, so I wear
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  where it is. I work something, right?
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  The fact that my teeth are messed up, so I, I work on
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  something else. You see what I'm saying?
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  That's why it's so easy to break a narcissist ego.
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  That's why it's so easy to hurt a narcissist feelings.
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  You can take a small Pebble. You can take a small Pebble and
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  and bust a huge balloon. A tiny Pebble, a tiny insult, a
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  tiny little criticism can break a narcissist's ego 'cause it's
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  huge and fragile at the same time.
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  So, yes, all narcissists have a huge egos.
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  The next thing, Fear. Woo.
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  Fear. Fear.
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  Fear. Fear.
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  Fear. All narcissists have fear.
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  Well, everybody's has. Everybody has fear.
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  Yeah, we talk about narcissists. Yes, every single person on this
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  earth has a fear of something, right.
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  But we talk about narcissists. So get back, get on, get on
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  topic, get on topic, or get out. No, but seriously, every
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  narcissist has a fear. It's different fear though,
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  right? It could be a fear of
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  abandonment. It could be a fear of the dark.
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  It could be a fear of being found out, a fear of being
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  exposed, a fear of being alone. You see what I'm saying?
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  Every single narcissist has fears.
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  Fears. They know the fears are going to
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  be different than the insecurities, right?
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  They can see, sometimes they can run one in the same.
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  But insecurities I feel like are super specific things, right?
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  Insecurity. I'm insecure by my teeth.
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  I'm insecure by my hair, my eye color, my height, weight,
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  whatever it is, I'm insecure about it.
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  But fear of abandonment is a whole different thing that's
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  encompassing a lot of different avenues, right?
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  I can have a fear of abandonment in a relationship, a fear of
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  abandonment or fear of loss, of losing my job, a fear of loss,
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  of being alone, a fear of loss. You know what I'm saying?
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  The fear encompasses a lot of things that a fear can also like
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  the insecurities can be a part of the fears you sometimes they
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  can be not necessarily interchangeable, but I can see
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  how people can make that error, how people can make that mistake
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  right there. Every single narcissist has a
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  fear. Now, if a narcissist has a fear
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  of abandonment, you're going to understand, you're going to see
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  it because they're going to be acting crazy when you try to
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  leave. They're going to lose their damn
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  minds. They have a fear of being alone.
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  They'll hop into a new relationship very, very fast,
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  even if the other person the next the new supply doesn't fit
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  their normal standards, doesn't fit their normal criteria.
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  Lee, he said he would never date anybody to look like this.
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  Guess what? That's what they're dating right
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  now because they don't want to be alone.
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  You see what I'm saying? A fear of their reputation being
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  exposed, they'll go crazy. A fear of losing their identity,
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  they'll go crazy. You something that's different
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  fears. The fears are deeper than you,
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  just your regular run-of-the-mill insecurities.
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  And the fear, like I said, I'm just telling you, the fears are
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  kind of crazy. That's what ends up happening
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  right there, y'all. And last but not least on my
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  list, what did I say? The ability to compartmentalize.
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  Now, the ability to compartmentalize is a real one,
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  ain't it? This is a real one.
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  This is going to be a real one for a lot of people right here,
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  because y'all get it right when I say this.
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  The ability to compartmentalize is a real damn thing.
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  Narcissistic people, toxic people can compartmentalize very
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  well. Very well.
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  What I mean by compartmentalize, they can put different things on
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  different parts of our mind. We can put different things on
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  different parts of our minds, and we think that one thing
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  doesn't affect the other. I can have a wife and kids over
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  here and a whole mistress over here, and I don't think I'm
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  doing wrong because I can feel like I can love both of them
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  equally. You see what I'm saying?
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  But believe that's what polygamy is.
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  No, it's not polygamy. If I polygamy is everybody
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  knows. Polyamory is everybody knows
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  that's cheating. My wife doesn't know I got a a
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  mistress. You said that not me personally.
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  I know y'all gonna say well leave this a Freudian slip.
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  You just totally yourself. If if you are my mistress,
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  please stand up, announce yourself to the world.
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  You see what I'm saying? That's why.
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  But seriously, this what ends up happening?
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  Like they can compartmentalize. They don't think one thing
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  affects the other. You just saying me treating my
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  wife or treating my husband horribly doesn't mean that it
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  affect my kids. You know what I'm saying?
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  I can do that. It doesn't mean I can't do
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  different by my kids. I don't think my kid the stuff
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  the stuff I do to my my wife or my partner doesn't.
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  It does not mean I don't care about my kids.
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  It doesn't affect how I feel about my kids.
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  You say they can compartmentalize things they
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  don't think. Think of, think of it like a
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  lunch tray, right? You know, the lunch trays back
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  in the day, they might still have lunch trays right now.
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  I've been to a a school in a long time.
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  But remember the lunch tray, how you have these different
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  compartments in the lunch tray. You got one for the peas, one
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  for the pizza, one for your dessert, one for your milk.
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  You see how everything goes fits perfectly in one of these little
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  trays with these little compartments.
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  That's how it is with narcissists.
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  They can separate their thoughts and their feelings and their
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  ideas about different people and not have a mix.
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  You see, they can separate it all and not have it all mixed
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  together in some little toxic hodgepodge that that requires a
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  lot of emotions as opposed to logic.
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  The compartmentalization for me, I think comes come from a place
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  of being more logical than emotional and logical doesn't
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  really make sense in this situation.
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  Narcissist logic, right? I can.
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  I can have 14 wives and they not know about each other and if
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  they find out it's their fault. It doesn't mean I love them any
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  less, it just means that I I just can't be satisfied by one.
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  I need 14 and if one drops off I can find another one.
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  You see how crazy that sounds right there?
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  But that is the mentality that you get with a lot of
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  narcissistic toxic ass people. That truly is you know what I
• 11:16
  mean? But also this last one, I only
• 11:19
  have 4 right there. I wrote it down.
• 11:20
  I have 4. ANYWAYS y'all hit the subscribe
• 11:23
  button if you haven't already. mentalhillness.net for all
• 11:26
  things Lee Hammock. My coaching, my one on ones, my
• 11:29
  one-on-one coaching is still available.
• 11:31
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• 11:35
  Why, How to Heal from Narcissistic Abuse is available
• 11:38
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• 11:42
  code. Mothers or fathers.
• 11:44
  Hit the subscribe button y'all and I'm out.
• 11:47
  Peace.