Latest / Founder Unfiltered - What Founders Think But Never Say / I Am Not The Business: Imposter Syndrome is REAL as an Independent Professional

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I Am Not The Business: Imposter Syndrome is REAL as an Independent Professional · Founder Unfiltered - What Founders Think But Never Say

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  Welcome to another episode of 6 Figure Secrets for Fractional
• 0:03
  Experts. My name is Bradley Jacobs.
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  I'm your host, the founder and CEO of My Lands.
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  Today we're going to go into imposter syndrome.
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  It is such a common feeling and experience.
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  I think every single person who's gone out on their own,
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  including myself, has faced it. So we're going to go into where
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  it comes from, what it looks like and feels like, and how we
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  can really overcome it. And I'll share some of my own
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  personal anecdotes along the way.
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  And frankly, mine has come up as we built this new product.
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  We have this really exciting new product that's going to help you
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  become a thought leader on LinkedIn, that's attracting
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  clients, that's building trust with clients.
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  It's really powerful. It uses AI to learn you and
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  analytics and there's all this newness that comes with it.
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  And even though I've been on my own for seven years now, I still
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  have it. It's like, do I have what it
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  takes? Is this product really going to
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  be valuable for people? I'm easy to discount when people
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  really give me positive feedback.
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  I I chalk it up to luck or, you know, oh, you're just saying
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  that, right? Like those are the kinds of
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  things where I know when I'm saying things like that, they're
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  coming from an imposter place. The first part is where this is
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  coming from. And it's relatively simple,
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  right? Because the majority of people
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  that are going out on their own, they've had some success in a
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  past career, they had some success in school.
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  And so they're basically you're, I'm going to speak to you,
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  you're basically used to being good, but you had a, a layer of
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  protection around you. Usually that's a company, an
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  organization, an institution, right?
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  You might have had school, you might have had a company, you
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  had a boss, you had all of these things that were kind of
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  protecting you. And the risk really wasn't that
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  high compared to going out completely on your own where if
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  whatever you're doing fails, let's just say it's a business,
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  you're consulting company. If it quote, UN quote fails, you
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  feel like a failure, right? Whereas if you work at a company
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  and that company, let's just say, goes bankrupt, you could
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  still feel like you did a really good job at your job.
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  And it's it's, it's not your company.
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  So it doesn't feel like you a lot of, and I'll speak for
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  myself, a lot of us who have been successful in our careers,
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  we had this perfectionist mindset and a honesty, really
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  narrow definition of competence. It is very narrow in what I deem
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  quote UN quote success. And so, and I'm kind of used to
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  always winning, I'd say, right? Like I got into college and then
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  I did find in college and I got a job and I got promoted.
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  I'm kind of used to winning like all the time.
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  And as we go out on our own, we are going to try a lot of things
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  that don't work, which is in my mind a win, right?
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  Because when you find something that doesn't work, it's a win
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  because you can kind of cross it off and move on to the next
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  thing and you get closer and closer and closer.
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  But it doesn't feel like a win because we're not used to quote
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  winning in that way. We're used to the all the
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  positive things, not necessarily the lessons from the quote UN
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  quote negative things or the thing that wasn't effective.
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  And so we can easily have this fear that we're not capable,
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  that we're not competent. And so I don't want to post on
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  LinkedIn, for example. I don't want to market myself
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  because I'm scared of what someone might think or what
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  they'll say or that I will, for the first, maybe the first time
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  in my life, get comments from someone that says, hey, Bradley,
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  you're actually not that good at this, right?
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  And then, Oh my God, I've quit my job and someone is telling me
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  I'm not that good at it. And what does that mean about
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  me? What does that mean about the
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  business? Can I charge anything?
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  Will I put food on the table? Can I make enough money?
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  Right? There's all these stories that
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  aren't true, but our mind can so easily go into these worst case
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  scenarios of all the things that might happen if literally one
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  person says, hey, Bradley, you're not that good at this.
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  And when I put it into those kind of terms, it's like, OK,
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  well, that's ridiculous, right? One person said it, who cares,
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  right? But that's so easily where we
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  can kind of spiral into. And then this one person becomes
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  this massive fear of, Oh my God, am I going to be able to make it
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  on my own? Now, we're going to go a little
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  bit into psychology here. So this term was actually coined
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  in 1978 and it was actually talking a lot about women who
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  experience imposter phenomenon, believing that they're not
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  bright and have fooled anyone who thinks otherwise.
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  Because for a very long time and still to some degree today,
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  right business specifically is, has been and is more male
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  dominated. And obviously women have made a
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  lot of progress. But we're not going to lie and
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  say it's an even playing field right now because we all know
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  it's not. Whether you look at VC funding,
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  women in corporate roles, women entrepreneurs, anything, right?
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  It's like women are not close to parody, which is terrible, but
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  topic for another day. But this actually came, the term
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  imposter syndrome came from the experience of women back in the
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  70s. And when we look at really the
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  root cause of imposter syndrome, it is that high achievers,
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  myself included, I was always a good student and did well in my
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  jobs and things like that. We're praised for performance.
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  It wasn't about my effort. It wasn't about who I am as a
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  person. It was about what I did, what I
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  accomplished, what grades I got, how much money I made by impact
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  to the organization, how much revenue I made us, how much cost
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  I saved us, whatever it was. So the internal dialogue is
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  basically, I'm only valuable as a person when I excel and
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  anything less than that means I'm a fraud.
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  So when we think about that I'm going out of my own business,
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  the pressure to then succeed in the business grow.
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  Revenue is so high and anything along the way, roadblocks, speed
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  bumps, rejections, redirections, all of it literally feels like a
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  failure. And I'll actually never forget,
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  it was the first my land started and I actually was running a
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  coaching business, helping people launch their consulting
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  businesses. And the first cohort I ran, I
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  got feedback. I asked everybody for feedback.
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  And the feedback was really mixed, to be honest, like I was,
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  it was my first time was five years ago and I was honestly
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  heartbroken. I was like 1.
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  I cannot believe I charge this much for something that people
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  had like very up and down reviews for.
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  And B, what does this mean about me?
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  What does this mean about the future of violence, the success
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  of violence? I had all of the like, I went
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  down the spiral and then I was like, I have no time for this.
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  I have another cohort launching in four days.
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  I got to like take all the feedback and make this thing
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  amazing. And I did.
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  But there was absolutely that fear in me that felt like it
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  came true, right? The fear was, am I going to be
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  able to make anything really valuable?
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  And then the feedback I got was like, you did an OK job at best
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  for the first cohort, and then I knocked it out of the park for
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  the second cohort. But damn, that was so tough to
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  receive because my identity was tied to the business's
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  performance. And that is a really dangerous
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  place to be because at the end of the day, and I've learned
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  this through many, many years, but I'm not the business, the
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  business. Let's just say I, I could shut
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  down the the business and I could still be incredibly
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  successful professional. In fact, no matter what I do in
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  my professional career, I know that I'm successful.
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  I know that I'm talented, but that disconnect is not always an
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  easy thing to practice. So if we talk about
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  perfectionism, often, we are setting unrealistically high
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  standards for ourselves of what success looks like.
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  In fact, we don't even define success.
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  We're just like, Oh my God, I better fucking crush it.
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  And then anything that actually does happen in our favor, we can
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  often discount it and say it's like either luck or is good
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  timing. And because the end of the day,
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  the perfectionist believe if I were truly competent, I would
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  never struggle, which is outrageous, right?
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  Not a single person, not a single entrepreneur has ever not
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  struggled. It's just part of the journey.
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  But we don't go into this accepting that, knowing that,
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  embracing that the other part is social media, right?
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  It, it leads to such an easy comparison of the highlight
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  reels of everybody else. So you think everybody else is
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  crushing it. You don't actually know what's
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  going on in their business. And so you just think that
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  you're the only one struggling. So I actually think surrounding
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  yourself, and I did this in the very, very early days of my life
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  and still to this day, but surrounding yourself with other
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  people on the same journey. Don't surround yourself with
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  executives at companies that don't have any idea what it's
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  truly like to run your own company with the ups and downs
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  and stress and late nights and unknowns and uncertainties and
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  rejections and all of that, right?
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  Surrounding yourself with people, genuine people that are
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  actually willing to talk about what it's like and don't like.
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  Literally completely ignore all of the boasting, let's say on
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  whether it's LinkedIn, Instagram, wherever you see it.
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  Because the end of the day, my favorite are the I raised X
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  $1,000,000 posts. Because I hate to break it to
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  you. When you raise $10 million, you
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  just sold a huge percent of your company.
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  You are committed to basically spending that money quickly,
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  which is operating your business at a loss, putting yourself on a
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  very rapid timeline to achieving either profitability or hitting
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  metrics to raise the next round. Like, I don't think there's a
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  whole lot, to be honest, to celebrate raising a huge amount
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  of money. Like if you have a profitable
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  business and then you go raise money to like fuel your growth,
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  love it. Like love that plan.
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  But just keep in mind like what people are often boasting about,
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  there's lots of challenges with those things.
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  And you shouldn't be looking at it as like, Oh my God, they're
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  crushing it. And I'm struggling.
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  So be really, really cognizant of that compare.
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  And the last thing I'll say on where this comes from is it
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  comes from a place of carrot. You care, you want to be
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  successful, you want to add value.
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  You want people to be paying for something and feel like they got
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  their money's worth, right. And so there's that fear that
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  you're going to sell something and they're not going to get
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  their their money's worth. And that's scary and you don't
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  want that. And so you're trying to avoid
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  this bad case scenario. You're trying to avoid this
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  client or customer that's disappointed in you because
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  you've probably again, haven't faced that before.
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  And so you have these fears. And so you're like, oh, if I put
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  myself out there and then I win a client and then I disappoint
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  them, then that's going to feel like shit.
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  And it might, but that's also part of the journey.
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  And So what now we can talk about like, how do we actually
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  deal with this? And honestly, the first part is
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  acknowledging what's true. Like I laid out a bunch of
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  things, stories that might be going on in your mind that you
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  haven't admitted to yourself. So I would honestly do some
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  journaling. I'm a really big journaler and I
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  would write out these questions like when I am scared to do X,
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  when I'm scared to post on LinkedIn, when I'm scared about
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  signing a big client, when I'm scared about charging a really
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  big rate, when I'm scared, whatever it is, this is my
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  story. I am scared that fill in the
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  blank. I am scared that I will let a
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  client down. I am scared that I'll get
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  rejected. I'm scared that my client will
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  tell me I'm charging way too much for the value I bring.
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  I'm scared I'll get fired. I'm scared my wife won't love
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  me. Like whatever it is, right?
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  Write down all of them because they're all living in your
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  subconscious world and writing them and bringing them to the
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  surface allows you to 1 see that they're just a story and two,
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  rewrite the belief because you know that.
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  Let's just say you're worried that like your wife won't love
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  you anymore. My last one, you know in your
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  heart that if you lose a client, your wife is not going to have
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  any feelings about that. Like, you know that, right?
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  So, or I'm not going to put the words in your mouth, but you get
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  to write what's actually true. And then you really get to focus
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  on the process. Because the process of building
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  a company, whether it's consulting, business, or
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  literally anything else, is all about learning and adding value
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  and iterating and learning and adding value and iterating.
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  And when you are smart and you work hard and you iterate
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  appropriately and you track the right things, you're going to
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  figure things out. You're going to figure out how
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  to add value. You're going to figure out how
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  to charge for your worth. You're going to figure out how
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  to acquire new clients. You're going to figure out how
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  to deliver an amazing product. And so learning what doesn't
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  work or getting told no is just part of the process.
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  So really orienting yourself. Like I'm a big fan of spending
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  literally 1% of my time setting goals and 99% of time setting up
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  systems and processes that are going to set me up for success.
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  Where I can learn what's working, I can add value and
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  iterate quickly. Like that's what really matters.
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  Spending all these times on goals, it doesn't really matter
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  because if you don't have a system to achieve them and a
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  process to rely on, you're not gonna hit them.
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  Or maybe you will, but you're kind of just like hoping and
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  praying. That's not a strategy.
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  Hoping is not a strategy. So changing your identity from I
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  need to prove I need to win to be worthy.
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  I need to win to feel good to I need to follow my process.
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  I need to learn how to add value.
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  I need to take the quote UN quote losses along with the wins
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  in stride. I need to iterate, I need to
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  learn, I need to get feedback. Changing your identity as an
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  entrepreneur allows you to not be so fixated on I need to win,
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  to feel good about myself, to be successful, to put myself out
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  there online, market my services, etcetera.
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  And the last thing I'll say with this is giving yourself that
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  grace and compassion because you really are transitioning from an
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  employee mindset where it's just not your baby.
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  And of course, I'm sure you want to do a good job, but there's
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  just a different level of intensity.
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  There's a different level of risk on the line to I am the
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  business. And especially when you're a
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  consultant, you are selling you, you are the product, right?
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  Like if I go build software, yes, I built it.
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  So I feel that connection, but it's not me.
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  If you don't like my software, great.
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  I'm like, OK, the software I built doesn't serve you right.
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  But when it's you, it can feel a lot more personal, right?
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  Because you, it's your expertise.
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  So you get to distance yourself from the business.
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  You get to realize and that this is the first time you're doing
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  it and you get to give yourself grace so that when you are being
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  hard on yourself, when you're having all these things come up,
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  like, OK, just remind yourself, I'm in this transition, I'm
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  learning, I'm figuring things out.
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  I'm going to go talk to Bradley. I'm going to listen to this
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  podcast, I'm going to go get support and I'm going to give
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  myself grace along the way because this is no easy journey.
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  And I think the emotional side of this journey is the most
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  difficult one, which is why I took the time to record this
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  podcast to 1 relate to all of you.
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  You're not alone. I've been there, done and that I
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  faced it myself. I continue to face it all the
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  time. I just have learned at this
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  point, it's part of the journey and it's not going to hold me
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  back from serving the people I love serving.
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  Adding value where I can add value.
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  It's like, look, I got a LinkedIn post the other day
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  where some guy completely disagreed with me and told me
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  that like fractionals were, you know, stupid to hire for their
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  company. And I was like, whoa, right.
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  And kind of like takes me back. But for every one person that
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  disagrees with me or thinks that I don't add value, there's a 100
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  out there that are getting value.
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  And I'm going to focus on that and learning and iterating and
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  getting better and better and better every single time versus
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  focusing on the one or two people that says, Hey, I don't
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  like what you have to say with that.
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  I hope you got value out of this episode.
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  This came specifically, this topic was specifically requested
• 16:11
  from one of our members. So hope you guys enjoyed it.
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  Come check us out on my at mylance.co.
• 16:16
  Check, check out our new product.
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  It's live. We're in beta.
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  And I'm so, so, so excited about it.
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  And come hit me up on LinkedIn. I'd love to hear from you guys.
• 16:23
  It means really the world when you you tell me you listen to
• 16:27
  the podcast and got some value out of it.
• 16:28
  So sending you a lot of love. Have an amazing, amazing,
• 16:31
  amazing day. And you'll hear from us soon.