Latest / onefjef / My Life Was the Size of My Life

Transcript

My Life Was the Size of My Life · onefjef

0:21
This is episode 38 of onefjef Thirty-eight carries a mix of
0:25
practical and symbolic meanings.
0:27
In science, it's the atomic number of strontium, the element that gives
0:31
red fireworks their color, while in numerology, it's often reduced
0:34
to 11, a master number linked with intuition and heightened awareness.
0:39
New age interpretations sometimes see three as creativity and eight as power
0:43
or material success, making 38 a symbol of balancing expression with ambition.
0:49
Hello, my friends.
0:52
I'm taking one of my last walks around my neighborhood here of Clintonville.
0:59
A night walk.
1:00
Needed to get out of the house to get away from all the packing,
1:02
packing, packing, packing, packing, packing, packing, packing
1:08
Packing is a slog.
1:11
It really is.
1:12
I really just wanna be done with it.
1:14
But you also don't wanna do it in a way where you're, like, not properly labeling
1:17
boxes, because I've done that before, and then you have no idea where anything is.
1:23
I think a friend of mine told me, "But then it's all full of
1:25
surprises." Eh, when you're just trying to unpack your shit, it's
1:29
like, you don't really want surprises.
1:31
You just wanna know where the dishes are so you can eat some food off of them.
1:35
Anyway, I got rid of most of my dishes except for the Fiestaware, of course.
1:41
Purple Fiestaware.
1:43
The, um, sound you heard at the beginning of this podcast was, uh,
1:49
the sound of the Columbus tornado sirens testing, which happens every
1:55
Wednesday at noon, like clockwork.
2:00
It's a sound that I'll forever associate with Columbus, Ohio.
2:04
That, along with the trains.
2:07
Everywhere you are in Columbus, you can hear a train whistle.
2:11
It's kind of romantic in a way.
2:12
I just wish I knew where they were going.
2:14
Anyway, so the tornado tests every Wednesday at noon.
2:20
And I remember, like, being in my office working at times, and then that siren
2:24
would go off, would go off, and I'd be like, "Oh, it's halfway through the week."
2:29
I mean, it's a somewhat, like, foreboding sound, but once you know it's not
2:34
indicating imminent danger, you're able to appreciate it as a, I don't know,
2:40
timekeeper of the week or something.
2:43
One time they did go off when it wasn't noon on Wednesday, and there
2:45
were a bunch of tornadoes, but I didn't get sucked up in a twister.
2:50
It's funny, you have all these tornado sirens, and there's rarely a
2:52
tornado in Columbus, so… But when there is, they're gonna be ready.
2:57
Those tornado sirens are going to be at the ready.
3:01
Anyway, uh, yes, it's been a week.
3:05
It still is a week.
3:07
I have two more days in my house, two more nights in my house, and
3:12
the house looks no longer like my house, except for the lights.
3:16
I haven't taken the lights down yet.
3:18
I'm waiting for them to run out of battery first, which is gonna be tomorrow
3:22
morning, so that's when I'm gonna do that.
3:25
Will I keep the lights, you're asking?
3:27
Some of the lights I will keep.
3:29
Some of the lights I may take to Mexico because, I don't know, colored
3:32
lights are a wonderful way to liven up an apartment, don't you think?
3:37
Maybe it's just me.
3:39
Uh-oh, there's a sign here says, "Caution, deaf person in area."
3:45
Is a deaf person aggressive?
3:47
Is that the caution I should be exerting right now?
3:50
I understand.
3:51
I understand.
3:54
Also like clockwork, like the tornado sirens, my neighbor and landlord, uh,
4:00
Todd, he was quiet for most of the month, and, uh, he's chosen my last few days
4:06
here to start to act like a lunatic again.
4:09
Today, he started doing the stomping around the house and screaming thing
4:13
again, and he did it for quite a while.
4:15
Like, at one point, he seemed to just be s- walking back and forth through
4:19
his house, stomping, stomping, stomping, which is what I'm doing, right,
4:23
to a degree, but I'm also packing.
4:26
So it's kind of triggering, and he's doing this quite a bit.
4:33
And at a certain point, I text him, because I can't help myself, and
4:37
I say, "If I'm being too noisy, please just let me know with a text.
4:40
Thank you." And he responds, "Why do you keep asking that?" Which is kind
4:47
of the response that I got last time, although it was a different timbre.
4:51
If you're saying to yourself, "That sounds harmless enough, Jef," no.
4:56
You don't understand Todd.
4:58
You do not.
5:00
I'll be gone soon.
5:02
Anyway, I've been giving away a lot of stuff.
5:04
Friend of mine came over this afternoon, bought my lava lamp, and, uh, ended
5:09
up getting a bunch of good stuff.
5:11
A rice cooker.
5:13
Um, I'm, I don't need to go through the entire inventory, but a lot of good stuff.
5:17
So if you're in Columbus still, and you hear this on Friday, and you'd like
5:21
some stuff, let me know, 'cause I've got stuff, and the stuff's all gonna
5:27
go to the, uh, Salvation Army thrift store if the stuff doesn't get taken
5:33
by a friend person or a family person.
5:37
I have three plants left.
5:39
One plant I believe will be left with the new tenant.
5:43
She expressed an interest.
5:44
It's one of these very tall, skinny cacti, or cactuses, whatever.
5:49
And she expressed interest in that, so I may just leave that for her as well.
5:55
She's been very kind.
5:58
And, uh, it's been a very positive, like, interaction, because she's like, "Yeah,
6:02
I need that stuff." And I'm like, "Great, I can leave my cleaning stuff here, too."
6:06
She's like, "Great. Great, great." So that's been, that's been positive.
6:11
I feel bad that she's gonna have to live next door to Todd.
6:13
I really do.
6:15
And when they came to visit, her and her father came to look, came to talk
6:19
to me about buying some of the stuff in the house, you know, they asked
6:22
me, like, "How is the landlord?"
6:25
And I was like, "He's all right." That's all I said.
6:29
"He's all right." I said it twice.
6:32
Because I don't wanna, like… I don't know.
6:34
There's nothing, there's no good answer.
6:35
I think that's the best answer in that scenario is, "He's all right."
6:38
What am I gonna do, warn her?
6:39
She's already signed the lease.
6:40
It's too late.
6:41
You'll find out soon enough.
6:43
Or who knows, maybe they'll have a wonderful relationship,
6:47
become one little family.
6:50
Anyway.
6:52
And all of the furniture, for the most part, is sold.
6:55
And, uh, yeah, getting closer to going.
7:00
The biggest thing about packing is just really trying to
7:03
organize the stuff, as I said.
7:04
And I've got, like, boxes with, like, themes.
7:10
And they're kind of, like, half open, and so when I find something in the house that
7:13
matches that theme, I put it in that box.
7:16
I hope this works out, this strategy.
7:19
I don't know if it's actually good packing strategy or not, but we'll find out when
7:24
we unpack have thrown away quite a bit of stuff, which does feel good, more
7:30
than I thought I would, to be honest.
7:33
And I've also had some questions about my purchasing habits over the years.
7:36
Like, why did I buy four giant things of baggies?
7:43
Like, I don't use that many baggies.
7:44
I mean, I had a Costco membership for a while, and this is what happens if
7:47
you're single, but don't have any kids, and you have a Costco membership because
7:52
you feel like you have to use it.
7:55
You feel like you have to justify this membership.
7:57
And, uh,
8:00
yeah, so you end up buying too many baggies, large and small.
8:05
And a lot of tinfoil too.
8:07
Like, I guess they're big rolls.
8:09
I don't know.
8:09
I overestimated my tinfoil usage profoundly.
8:13
Although I did not overest- estimate my, uh, Q-tip usage because I did buy those
8:18
in bulk, and I'm on my last one of those.
8:20
So that feels great.
8:24
But yeah, lots of… And I have a giant jug of Windex, which again,
8:29
what am I… I'm not a window cleaner.
8:31
What was I thinking?
8:32
Like, it's a huge refill jug.
8:33
It's giant.
8:34
It's like a gallon.
8:35
I don't go through a gallon of Windex in five year- 10 years, 20 years.
8:39
I don't know if I've even ever gone through a whole
8:41
gallon of Windex in my life.
8:43
But when I was at Costco, probably a year and a half or two years ago, I saw
8:49
that, and it looked like a good deal.
8:51
And I thought, "Well, certainly I'll use Windex. I clean windows."
8:56
Little did I know I don't clean windows nearly as often as I imagined
9:00
in my head that day at Costco.
9:02
So it goes.
9:05
The things we have to throw away.
9:06
Makes you really can think about the things that you buy, right?
9:09
I had a bottle of cocktail sauce in the fridge.
9:12
I've had it for maybe four years, 'cause I had this really strong
9:15
intention to make shrimp cocktail, but I never bought the shrimp.
9:20
So the cocktail remained unopened, because what else do you do with cocktail sauce?
9:26
It's a strange name for a sauce, like confusing name, really.
9:30
Cocktail sauce.
9:33
Does it have something to… It must have something to do with cocktails.
9:37
I guess they're talking about shrimp cocktail.
9:39
What else?
9:40
Facebook Marketplace is winding down.
9:42
Uh, I was selling, and I'm still selling, like seven extension cords
9:47
and two power strips for $15, right?
9:50
Somebody texts me, messages me, "Can I just buy the black power strip
9:55
for $5?" And it's like, sure, right?
10:00
Sure.
10:01
That's fine.
10:02
But, like, really?
10:04
I mean, I- power strips aren't that much.
10:07
Maybe he liked the way it looked.
10:08
I don't know.
10:09
Maybe he was, like, a power strip collector.
10:12
Maybe that's one he hasn't, hasn't gotten yet.
10:15
There's probably a power strip collector out there, 'cause there's a lot of
10:17
different shapes of power strips.
10:21
You like how this episode so far is really not about my move?
10:25
Maybe there's something to be said for that.
10:27
But yeah, power strip collecting.
10:29
There's gotta be, and I bet there's an amazing Wikipedia
10:32
article about power strips.
10:33
Oh, there's a dog
10:36
Oh, it's a cute little collie.
10:37
It's like a… Is that a collie?
10:40
Oh, you're a happy guy.
10:43
And he's not barking.
10:44
That's nice.
10:44
Or she.
10:45
Or they.
10:46
Whatever.
10:47
I don't wanna misgender the dog.
10:50
So the guy did come by and buy the power strip for $5, but he had
10:55
to stop at Kroger to get change because I didn't have any change.
11:00
Although I did have change, I just felt like I might be able
11:03
to upsell him, which I did try.
11:06
I was like, "You know, I'll give you an extra power strip if you want…
11:09
I'll give you two more power strips for 10 bucks." But he didn't bite.
11:13
He just wanted that one.
11:17
Right now I'm walking down this alley.
11:18
Another thing I'll miss about Columbus is these alleys.
11:22
Th- there's roads, and then in between each road there's, like, a dirt alley
11:25
that goes to, like, the back of the houses where a lot of the garages are.
11:29
I haven't seen this in a lot of cities.
11:32
And I like walking down the alleys better because it feels like you're
11:34
on a path as opposed to a sidewalk.
11:38
You dig?
11:39
You dig.
11:45
Can you hear my feet walking?
11:46
Can you hear the gravel?
11:49
First time I've done an outside, walking around podcast.
11:53
I think I just wanna test these mics because I'm not sure if I'll be able
11:58
to have room in my luggage for my big mics or the stands and everything.
12:05
I'm hoping to make room.
12:07
That's another stress point when I think about it.
12:09
Like, I don't wanna think about it quite yet 'cause there's
12:11
no good will come of that.
12:12
But once I get to my mom's house, of course I gotta figure
12:15
out… I gotta pack again, right?
12:18
I gotta figure out what I'm gonna take to Mexico City in one large
12:23
suitcase, one medium-sized suitcase, and a, a decent-sized backpack.
12:29
The place I'm moving into is furnished, in case you're wondering about that.
12:33
So I will have furniture.
12:34
Like, it was an Airbnb, and I think the guy just got tired of Airbnb-ing
12:38
it, so he wanted a long-term tenant.
12:40
And yeah, hopefully it works out.
12:43
So I'm, I'm assuming there's plates and stuff there, too, which
12:45
would be amazing because I've just given away most of my plates.
12:50
And I'm not gonna put plates in my luggage.
12:52
What kind of madness would that be?
12:54
Yeah, yeah.
12:58
Moving's a weird one, all right.
13:01
Changing your life drastically is, uh, liberating in a way.
13:05
It'll be more liberating when I'm away from the stuff 'cause, to
13:08
be fair, I'm, I'm moving a lot of stuff into my mom's house.
13:13
And perhaps I would get a storage unit otherwise, but again, let's, let's say
13:17
hypothetically I, I don't like living in Mexico, I move back to the States,
13:21
I'm not probably gonna move to Ohio.
13:23
I'd move to, like… I don't know where I'd move, but I'd move somewhere else.
13:26
And then how do I get the stuff from my mom's house to the place that I'm living?
13:30
It just doesn't make sense.
13:31
So pretty much it's probably gonna be there, and then I'll have to go through
13:37
it at some point, like 30 years from now or 20 years from now, whenever it is.
13:43
And I'll be like, "Oh, yeah, I forgot about… I remember when
13:44
I packed these back in Columbus. Wow, that was a long time ago."
13:50
That was before the first divorce, second divorce, third divorce.
13:56
Why did that come into your head, Jef?
13:59
Why would divorce be the thing that was going to mark time
14:02
that's passed since Columbus?
14:04
It would be odd if the next chapter of my life was full of divorces.
14:08
Anyway, we'll see.
14:10
It's quite nice out, actually.
14:11
I'm very happy about the weather, uh, for this move, because it's
14:14
supposed to be 65, sunny tomorrow.
14:17
Or on Saturday, rather.
14:18
And Sunday.
14:19
So… 'Cause there's a version of this that could have
14:22
been snowing, snowy moving.
14:24
Hear that car go by?
14:26
Where it could have been, like, snowing, blizzardy, and I still have to move
14:30
because I have to get this stuff, so.
14:33
Thank the weather gods for that.
14:35
I know I've cursed you in the past, but in this case, I will
14:38
praise you, so we're even, I guess.
14:39
We're even now.
14:42
Or mostly even.
14:45
Oh, I did get a nice message from a friend of mine about the Feffery episode.
14:49
I will play it right here.
14:51
I'm starting a new habit of walking every morning, and it's really dark when I go.
14:58
And, um, I think it was two days ago, I was listening to Feffery and, like,
15:03
laughing out loud in the silence of my neighborhood in the early morning.
15:08
I mean, like, laughing hard.
15:09
Um, I thought that episode was hilarious.
15:12
So thank you, Kirsten, last name omitted, for that wonderful message.
15:18
It's the second time I've gotten some nice feedback on my, my
15:20
podcast over the last couple weeks.
15:23
I was at my party, my going-away party, which I think I
15:25
address later in this episode.
15:26
My going-away party was last night, and, uh, it was incredible.
15:31
It was really great.
15:32
The people that I wanted to show up all showed up, for the most part.
15:37
I have different groups of friends, and, like, I have a n- very eclectic
15:40
group of friends, I feel like.
15:41
At least here.
15:42
I think everywhere I've been, I kind of have.
15:44
But here in particular, and it was one of the first times that some of
15:46
these groups of friends had interacted, and honestly, it was really beautiful
15:51
to see the way they all hit it off.
15:54
Like, everybody was liking everybody else, that it seemed like.
15:57
So that brought me a lot of joy.
16:00
People were meeting new friends at my party.
16:02
I don't know And it was great.
16:04
You know, a party is stressful to have, particularly when it's you
16:08
hosting it and it's also about you, in a manner of speaking.
16:12
And you wanna talk to everybody, you know, you wanna make time,
16:14
but it's very hard, 'cause you also wanna have fun and, you know.
16:18
So this friend of mine came, who I've reconnected with over the past year.
16:22
She came with her boyfriend, and they brought instruments, and it
16:25
was this person who I was, like, so grateful to have there because
16:28
she steered the party a little bit.
16:30
And you need somebody to do that, 'cause you need somebody that's
16:32
gonna take an active role in s- making the plot of the party.
16:37
'Cause parties all have, like, a flow, a plot, right?
16:40
And you've gotta keep that moving.
16:41
It can't just be sitting around talking the whole time.
16:43
You gotta have different things happening.
16:46
In this case, we had a b- we had a jam session, played some live music.
16:50
Feliz Navidad we sang.
16:51
Maybe I'll play a little bit of that right here.
16:55
Merry Christmas.
16:58
I want to wish you a merry Christmas.
17:10
I want to wish you a merry Christmas.
17:16
I want to wish you a merry Christmas.
17:16
I want to wish you a merry Christmas.
17:23
Feliz Navidad.
17:26
Feliz Navidad
17:30
Yeah, you can check out.
17:33
Just be sure that there's in the border when you're trying to get in.
17:38
Please tell me now.
17:43
Please tell me now.
17:46
Please tell me now.
17:50
Please tell me now.
17:50
Please tell me now
18:05
Yeah, I had the door prize thing, which was great.
18:09
Every-- I put numbers on i-- tons of stuff, you know.
18:11
There was like a, a backhoe or something.
18:13
One- some sort of a weed whacker scenario.
18:15
I don't even know what it was.
18:16
That's what I gave away.
18:17
There was a propane stove that immediately the person who got it was happy, but then
18:21
I mentioned that there was a essential part missing, and they were not as happy.
18:26
And then one person just got like three rocks.
18:29
They were nice rocks.
18:30
One of them was from Lake Erie, one with them was from Hawaii,
18:33
and the other one was just a nice round rock that I found somewhere.
18:38
But like I'm not gonna move rocks.
18:39
Like that just seems silly.
18:41
Unless they're very small rocks like diamonds or something.
18:45
I'll probably move a few rocks, I'll be honest.
18:47
There's a few memorable rocks I have.
18:49
But honestly, I pick up rocks from places and I'm like, "Oh, this is gonna help me
18:52
remember it." But it's not gonna help me remember unless I write on it where I got
18:56
the rock from, otherwise it just looks like the other rocks that I picked up.
18:58
And so I just have a pile of rocks sitting on my, you know, desk, dresser, whatever.
19:04
And I don't know one from the other.
19:05
So anyway, three rocks.
19:08
And all the stuff pretty much left except for one person left his door prize which
19:13
was a one and a half inch three-ring binder, a bunch of Manila envelopes,
19:19
and a can unused of that, um, s- one of those spraying things for computers.
19:24
You know, you spray the dust off.
19:25
And he forgot them so… But yeah, it was a wonderful party, and people
19:30
kept coming up to me saying, "Oh, I love your friends." Um, so yeah,
19:34
it was, it was a joyful night for me and I hope for everybody else.
19:37
I think so.
19:38
Anyway, at the party at the-- later on, Danny who was on the epis- on
19:42
the podcast early on, uh, the guy who was in Iraq, he was at the party.
19:46
He's a wonderful guy.
19:48
He was saying, "Hey, I enjoyed the last episode of the podcast." And, uh, the
19:53
last episode being the very last episode that I did in which I just kind of rambled
19:57
on like I'm doing right now basically.
20:01
But he, he seemed-- he really like complimented.
20:04
He's like, "I like hearing what you're thinking about.
20:06
I enjoy it.
20:06
I think you're interesting." And I was like, "That's
20:08
wonderful." Oh, loud car engine.
20:11
And that made me feel great because the one thing I wish I got more
20:14
of On this podcast was feedback.
20:18
Hint, hint, onefjefpod@gmail.com.
20:21
I mean, I still have a phone number in the show notes that not one single person
20:25
has called and left a message on, except for me just to test it, and it does work.
20:29
So, you know, play your voicemail on the air.
20:34
And while I'm thinking of it, Patreon subscribers, I love you.
20:40
Patreon subscribers, I do.
20:43
Thank you so much for continuing to subscribe to the podcast through
20:46
this tumultuous time, and this time of very little extra content.
20:50
I promise I will assuage that issue as soon as I am settled once again.
20:58
Maybe I'll send you the… I'm Strava-ing this, you know, this walk, as I do
21:03
with all my walks, and, uh, maybe I'll just send you the map of the walk.
21:07
I'll put that in the, in Patreon, so that's something to sign up for.
21:10
So if you yourself are not a Patreon subscriber and you wanna
21:13
see the map of the path that I'm walking on right now, like the…
21:18
I'm not walking on a path, but whatever.
21:20
Sign up to the Patreon page, patreon.com/onefjef.
21:24
For as little as $5 a month, you can see the walking map and a bunch
21:30
of other stuff that I've put on over the course of the last eight
21:34
months, seven months, six months.
21:36
I have no idea what time means.
21:38
Time means nothing.
21:39
Ah, there's the old billboard that I love.
21:41
There's a billboard near my house that always has… One side's always
21:45
fast food, Wendy's, Burger King.
21:48
It's right at the end of my street.
21:50
And the other side is always, like, uh, home repair things, like getting
21:54
your gutters cleaned or getting your ducts, um, swept, or whatever it is.
22:00
And right now it is foundation repair experts, the Ohio Basement Authority.
22:06
Well, if you can't trust the Ohio Basement Authority on foundation
22:10
repair, I'm not sure who you can trust.
22:14
Oh, there's a bunny.
22:15
I will miss the bunnies.
22:16
There's been a lot of bunnies.
22:18
Rabbits.
22:19
Bunnies.
22:20
Yeah.
22:21
They look like bunnies though, 'cause they're small, and they
22:23
wait till you get real close, just like, and then they dart off.
22:27
Like this one's just there.
22:27
Oh, there it goes.
22:29
But they just sit there, and you walk right up to them, and then right till
22:32
you get close they, they dart You guys have all probably experienced
22:36
this, so I don't need to explain this kind of animal behavior to you.
22:41
And yet I'm doing it anyway, or I just did it.
22:43
I'm not gonna continue to do, do it.
22:46
Uh, next couple days, tomorrow I pick up the U-Haul truck
22:51
and, uh… Is this interesting?
22:54
I don't know.
22:55
I'm just trying to share what's going on.
22:57
Pick up the U-Haul truck at noon, drive it back to my house, fill it up with
23:01
stuff, as much stuff as I can, which I think will be everything but the bed.
23:07
Clean up the house, take the lights down, make sure everything's packed, take
23:12
out the garbage, et cetera, et cetera.
23:13
And then I hope I have some downtime before… Like, I hope I'm able to finish
23:17
early tomorrow night so that I don't have to be, like, up late panic packing.
23:23
Yeah, one time years ago, I was, like, packing to go home from college
23:27
or something for, like, spring break or Christmas break or something,
23:31
and for some reason I took, like, a hit of acid before I packed.
23:37
And I don't know what, why that would ever occur to me.
23:40
It's like, I have no idea.
23:44
Yeah, it didn't go well.
23:45
It didn't go well.
23:46
I remember at one point, like, I mean, I'm just zoning out 'cause I'm tripping,
23:51
and I remember just, like, coming out of zoning out at one point and just being
23:54
sitting, like I'm kneeling in front of my suitcase, and there's just unmatched
23:59
socks everywhere, all over the floor.
24:05
And then I would be like, "Oh, yeah, yeah, I gotta, I gotta pack, I gotta
24:07
pack." Uh, I don't remember what I packed.
24:11
I don't know how good of a job I did.
24:12
I don't remember.
24:13
But I do remember the socks.
24:15
I'll never forget that one.
24:16
It's like the time I woke up when I was a kid… Have I told you this story?
24:20
If I have, forgive me, but it seems appropriate 'cause it's
24:23
a good tangent right here.
24:25
When I was about eight or nine years old, I was sleepwalking,
24:29
and, like, I remember dreaming that I was walking down the stairs.
24:34
It's like a half-awake state, but you know you're, you know, walking down the stairs.
24:37
And I remember walking into the kitchen and seeing the clock, and I
24:41
couldn't see a time on it, which is a sign that you're apparently asleep.
24:44
I don't know.
24:45
And then, uh, I remember walking towards the basement, going down the
24:50
basement stairs, and the basement stairs were flooding in my dream.
24:55
You know, there was, water's coming up the stairs, like, slowly rising.
24:59
And then when I woke up, I was standing in the toilet, like both feet bare
25:07
feet standing in the downstairs toilet.
25:14
That was confusing.
25:15
You know, it was like one of these like, whoa.
25:18
And I'll never forget.
25:19
I mean, you never forget a thing like that.
25:21
Like you never.
25:22
That's a memory you'll have.
25:24
You'll be able to cherish and hold on to for years.
25:26
And my nephew actually wrote a paper for school about it years
25:28
ago, which is pretty hilarious.
25:32
My nephew Owen, yeah.
25:34
So yeah, that happened.
25:35
I apologize if that story is a repeat, but I feel like it's worth telling
25:39
every 10 to 15 episodes just to remind people where I'm coming from.
25:46
I do think it's an insight into something in my brain.
25:49
I don't know what it is.
25:50
What would Sigmund Freud say about the sleepwalking dream in which
25:53
I woke up standing in the toilet?
25:56
Huh.
25:57
Maybe I'll ask AI when I get home.
25:59
Freud would likely interpret your sleepwalking dream as your unconscious
26:03
expressing hidden conflicts through symbols, descending stairs as moving
26:07
into the unconscious, rising water as growing instinctual or emotional
26:11
pressure, and waking in the toilet as imagery tied to the anal stage of
26:16
childhood development, which he associated with control and bodily functions.
26:20
He'd say the mind turned these impulses into a symbolic story
26:24
while your body acted it out.
26:26
So yes, this is the end of my time in Columbus.
26:32
I've been walking, I've walked around this neighborhood so many times.
26:35
I can't even tell you.
26:37
And the fact that this is going to be one of the last times I do
26:40
it, that's kind of okay with me.
26:42
Like I feel okay about this.
26:44
I'm bored of this.
26:46
I'm bored of walking around the same neighborhood streets every time I
26:49
go for a walk because there's only so many directions you can walk
26:53
and you always have to come back.
26:54
So you can't walk.
26:55
I mean, you're not going to, unless you want to do a long walk, like a 10 mile
26:58
walk, but I don't do 10 mile walks.
27:01
I do like a mile, maybe a mile and a half.
27:03
So if I were to try to get to somewhere more interesting or more novel, it
27:08
would end up being a five to 10.
27:10
Anyway, you understand the math.
27:14
Boy, oh boy.
27:15
It is nice to walk though, and to not be in my house with
27:19
my stuff for a little bit.
27:20
Although, I do have to start heading back that direction so I can post this
27:25
magical podcast for you all to enjoy on your Friday morning commute or your Friday
27:31
morning coffee or whatever day, really.
27:33
You can listen to it on any day you want.
27:35
I'm just saying it's coming out on a Friday, which as we've discussed, is not
27:39
a great day to release podcast episodes.
27:41
But that's okay, 'cause I'm still putting out an episode every week,
27:46
and this shit ain't easy, 'cause I got a lot on my mind, as you can
27:49
possibly tell or, or assume, I suppose.
27:54
Oh, and then on Saturday… I for- forgot to finish the story of the week.
27:59
On Saturday, uh, my cousin's coming over on Saturday morning, and, uh, we're
28:03
gonna… We'll put the bed into the U-Haul, and then we will drive towards
28:08
Cleveland, to Cleveland, it's west lake.
28:11
And then we will unpack the truck and the car, and then we will
28:17
go drop off the U-Haul, and then we will drive back to Columbus.
28:20
He's driving my car behind me.
28:22
That… 'Cause I need to get my car to Cleveland as well.
28:25
That's the big issue, and I'm grateful that he's going to be driving with
28:28
me, because I was gonna have to get, like, a car towing thing, and
28:32
that's… Nobody wants to do that.
28:34
But the reality of that is, is also that I have to, like, drive him back to Columbus
28:39
and drive back to Cleveland again.
28:41
So it'll be, like, a six hours of driving tomorrow.
28:44
But honestly, after all this packing, it might actually be wonderful to just be
28:49
in a car listening to music for a while.
28:52
And then get to drive back with my cousin.
28:55
We can talk for a couple hours.
28:57
Yeah, it'll be good.
28:58
Stop for some fast food.
29:00
And I'm at my house, so I'm gonna wrap up this episode now
29:09
Hope you enjoyed.
29:10
I appreciate you listening.
29:12
I appreciate you going with me on this journey of discovery, of uncertainty,
29:17
of anxiety, of, uh, joy, all the things.
29:23
I feel like a lot of the podcast has kind of led up to this in a
29:26
way, so it's kind of a good payoff.
29:29
But yes, I do appreciate all of you for giving me some of your time to let
29:35
me, you know, talk in your ear holes.
29:38
Had to get it in once every episode, the word ear holes, or the words ear holes.
29:42
And yeah, you know, there's an Instagram page, w- @onefjefpod.
29:45
There's a bunch of social media accounts @onefjefpod, and there's a
29:51
Substack now, onefjef So subscribe to all these things if you're, uh,
29:56
enjoying the show, if you're interested.
29:58
And if you enjoyed the show, please do reach out with an email.
30:00
Just, uh, let me know how you liked it.
30:03
Let me know what you liked.
30:04
Tell me you're alive.
30:05
Tell me you listen.
30:06
It'd be great.
30:08
Next time you hear me, I'll be in Cleveland, so stay tuned for that.
30:14
And I will leave you with a poem that I found on the Instagram today
30:25
that I really enjoyed, and I'll find it very quickly because…
30:32
There it is.
30:33
We're finding it, just, you know, the a- the anticipation
30:36
is really… Okay, the poem
30:40
My Life Was the Size of My Life by Jane Hirshfield.
30:46
My life was the size of my life.
30:48
Its rooms were room-sized.
30:50
Its soul was the size of a soul.
30:53
In its background, mitochondria hummed.
30:55
Above it, sun, clouds, snow, the transit of stars and planets.
31:00
It rode elevators, bullet trains, various airplanes, a donkey.
31:04
It wore socks, shirts, its own ears and nose.
31:08
It ate, it slept, it opened and closed its hands, its windows.
31:14
Others I know had lives larger.
31:17
Others I know had lives shorter.
31:20
The depth of lives, too, is different.
31:24
There were times my life and I made jokes together.
31:26
There were times we made bread.
31:29
Once I grew moody and distant.
31:31
I told my life I would like some time.
31:33
I would like to try seeing others.
31:35
In a week, my empty suitcase and I returned.
31:38
I was hungry then, and my life, my life too, was hungry.
31:42
We could not keep our hands off, our clothes on, our tongues from.
31:50
Thanks for listening everybody.
31:51
I'll see you next week Very good, Jeffrey