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Transcript

Brothel Creepers · F*ck Off Fridays

0:00
SPEAKER_02: Welcome back to Fuck Off Fridays with your girl Liv and your girl Charlie.
0:07
SPEAKER_02: Coming up this week, we have your resident fuck off of the week.
0:11
SPEAKER_03: I've got a surprise quiz for Rich.
0:13
SPEAKER_02: I've got a Who's Most Likely To section.
0:17
SPEAKER_03: And I've got a petty story about Devonshire versus Cornish cream teas.
0:21
SPEAKER_02: Oh, here she goes.
0:22
SPEAKER_03: Strap in.
0:23
SPEAKER_02: So strap in, get yourself a beverage, and off we fucking get.
0:33
SPEAKER_03: Charlie, what are you loving this week?
0:35
SPEAKER_03: Well, at the point at which this is released, I will be going to South Ifrica.
0:39
SPEAKER_03: Ah, for a whole ten days, baby.
0:42
SPEAKER_03: Baby.
0:43
SPEAKER_03: On the holidays.
0:44
SPEAKER_03: So again.
0:45
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
0:46
SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah, I can't get enough of it.
0:47
SPEAKER_03: I'm buzzing.
0:48
SPEAKER_03: So you've got five nights in Cape Town, here, there, and everywhere.
0:51
SPEAKER_03: We're spending a few days up at the wine region, a few days down okay.
0:55
SPEAKER_03: Someone who doesn't drink wine.
0:56
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'm going on the wine tram.
0:57
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, How do we feel about that?
0:59
SPEAKER_03: I'm just gonna drink sparkling the whole time.
1:01
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I just fucking.
1:02
SPEAKER_03: Charlie's like, you can't you can't do that.
1:03
SPEAKER_03: I was like, now watch me.
1:04
SPEAKER_02: Get it down here.
1:06
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
1:09
SPEAKER_03: Sorry, Dad, if you're listening.
1:13
SPEAKER_03: But yeah, no buzzing.
1:15
SPEAKER_03: And then we've then got we've got four nights on safari with a little plug for them, Ants African safaris.
1:20
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, okay.
1:21
SPEAKER_03: So they are a friend of someone that I hunt with.
1:24
SPEAKER_03: Okay, cool.
1:25
SPEAKER_03: Um, who donated it to the hunt auction last year.
1:27
SPEAKER_03: So we are going and having four nights with them.
1:29
SPEAKER_03: So it is a horse riding safari, but you can they cater to beginners, you can mix it up a little bit.
1:34
SPEAKER_02: So he knows enough now, doesn't he?
1:36
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so Charlie's learnt to ride in the last year to 18 months.
1:39
SPEAKER_03: He can now canter.
1:40
SPEAKER_03: Cool.
1:41
SPEAKER_03: Which is cool.
1:42
SPEAKER_03: So but they can cater to complete beginners.
1:43
SPEAKER_03: So um I think we're gonna do a bit of a mix and maybe do like a ride in the morning, game drive in the afternoon.
1:48
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but I'm buzzing.
1:49
SPEAKER_02: How do you think his balls are gonna be after that amount of time in a saddle?
1:52
SPEAKER_03: I can report back.
1:53
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, please.
1:54
SPEAKER_03: So obviously, at the point of recording, I won't be back for a couple of weeks.
1:57
SPEAKER_03: We've got a fun episode coming out next week.
1:58
SPEAKER_03: He can't say no more.
2:00
SPEAKER_03: Um so by the time a couple of weeks' time, yeah, when I'm back in your ears, I can report back then on balls and saddle saw.
2:07
SPEAKER_03: Perfect, can't wait.
2:08
SPEAKER_03: I will let you know.
2:09
SPEAKER_03: But yes, I'm really buzzing about that.
2:11
SPEAKER_03: Get me on that plane.
2:13
SPEAKER_03: Get me the Xair Miles.
2:14
SPEAKER_03: What are you loving this week?
2:16
SPEAKER_02: So I would just like to say that this is our 17th episode.
2:21
SPEAKER_02: So we have been going for 17 weeks.
2:23
SPEAKER_02: Most people give up after seven.
2:25
SPEAKER_02: Do they?
2:25
SPEAKER_02: Is that true?
2:26
SPEAKER_02: Isn't that true?
2:27
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, that's true.
2:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, they give up at seven because they think they're gonna be big time.
2:30
SPEAKER_02: Um, and I'm we're still waiting for that to happen.
2:33
SPEAKER_02: No, and that skips on to my next happy little note.
2:37
SPEAKER_02: Goo on.
2:38
SPEAKER_02: Who have we secured?
2:39
SPEAKER_02: None other than Martin Mukloe.
2:42
SPEAKER_02: Martin Mukloe, go on! Peeping Tom! Your girl Liv has made very good friends with Paul Cooper, who is Daisy Mae Cooper's dad.
2:52
SPEAKER_02: Dad.
2:53
SPEAKER_02: And we have got the very lovely Paul coming on in a couple of weeks' time.
2:57
SPEAKER_02: I'm to do a full episode, and we're doing a North Leach tour with him.
3:02
SPEAKER_02: Alright.
3:03
SPEAKER_02: So strap in.
3:05
SPEAKER_02: Um, and that's very exciting.
3:07
SPEAKER_02: And he's very excited.
3:08
SPEAKER_03: Oh, I'm really pleased because I was like, oh, is he just think we're a fucking bunch of idiots?
3:12
SPEAKER_03: I had a little beer with the boy, and um, yeah, we had a chat and it was lovely.
3:16
SPEAKER_03: I would like to make a request, yes dear, that at some point, whether it is when we do our tour with him, yeah, whether it's when he's on the podcast, I would like everyone to hear your full get ready impression.
3:28
SPEAKER_03: And the tomatoes ones, and the crumpets.
3:31
SPEAKER_03: I will uh yeah, I would uh I think everyone needs to hear it in their ears.
3:35
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
3:35
SPEAKER_02: And one thing I will do, because I'll plug it again.
3:38
SPEAKER_02: Paul is doing a Christmas carol in December at the Cheltenham Ladies' College.
3:45
SPEAKER_02: Um, and he's playing Scrooge.
3:47
SPEAKER_02: It's in my diary.
3:48
SPEAKER_02: It's on the 18th of December.
3:50
SPEAKER_02: Anyone that wants tickets, or I can put the link on our Insta.
3:54
SPEAKER_02: Are they live?
3:54
SPEAKER_02: Are the tickets live?
3:55
SPEAKER_02: Uh I think so, yeah.
3:56
SPEAKER_02: He sent me the link the other day.
3:57
SPEAKER_02: Great.
3:58
SPEAKER_02: So I will I will post it and why the fuck not?
4:01
SPEAKER_02: Can you send it to me so I can secure my tickets?
4:03
SPEAKER_02: I will.
4:04
SPEAKER_02: I will.
4:04
SPEAKER_02: Front row.
4:05
SPEAKER_02: We'll we'll go and do it.
4:06
SPEAKER_02: So, and then next year he's doing Wind in the Willows, where he plays Badger.
4:11
SPEAKER_02: Oh, go on, Martin.
4:13
SPEAKER_03: I drove side note, this has made me think of it.
4:16
SPEAKER_03: Badger, Mr.
4:17
SPEAKER_03: Toad.
4:18
SPEAKER_03: I drove past someone the other day.
4:19
SPEAKER_03: It was an old style car with goggles on and he looked just like Mr.
4:24
SPEAKER_03: Toad.
4:25
SPEAKER_03: Fuck yeah.
4:25
SPEAKER_03: Only in the Copsworlds.
4:27
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, why not?
4:27
SPEAKER_03: Really enjoyed it.
4:29
SPEAKER_03: Um yeah, go on, Paul.
4:30
SPEAKER_03: We're buzzing to have you on.
4:31
SPEAKER_03: I'm I mean, I'm so excited.
4:32
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna go for a pint with them in the keepers.
4:34
SPEAKER_03: In the keepers.
4:35
SPEAKER_03: Maybe buy dicing off of him.
4:38
SPEAKER_02: He voice noted me the other day and he went, where do you want to go for a drink?
4:41
SPEAKER_02: The wine bar or the keepers?
4:45
SPEAKER_02: There's only one option here.
4:48
SPEAKER_03: Um, so what was your fuck off of the week?
4:51
SPEAKER_03: Um, okay, so well, I forgot to mention this last week.
4:53
SPEAKER_03: When we were in Amsterdam, firstly I found out that Uber take 23% of their driver's cut, which I thought was really high.
5:01
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
5:01
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
5:02
SPEAKER_03: So I thought that was quite a lot.
5:03
SPEAKER_03: When you look at like cost, I know a lot of people are like Tesla's and you know, they're electric and stuff now, but 23%, I thought that was really high.
5:09
SPEAKER_03: Um, this leads on to most of our Uber drivers were so great working for their tips.
5:14
SPEAKER_03: Good for them.
5:15
SPEAKER_03: Pretty nice people in the Netherlands.
5:17
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, this one guy literally pulls up, we'd all been out, we'd all been out on the boat, we'd gone somewhere for a few drinks afterwards, and we were saying goodbye to Charlie's South African friend who lives in Amsterdam, him and his girlfriend were saying bye them.
5:29
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and just as we were about to go, so the the Uber pulls up, and Charlie like waved to him to be like, Oh, we'll be just one second.
5:36
SPEAKER_03: And his friend James was like, Should we take a photo?
5:37
SPEAKER_03: So we took a photo anyway.
5:38
SPEAKER_03: This guy waited until we'd taken the photo, and then he shouts, hurls abuse out of his window, first in Dutch, then realized we're English, and we're like, What the fuck's going on?
5:45
SPEAKER_03: Basically saying, You took too long, he'd been waiting for maybe 30 seconds, maybe 30 seconds, you took too long, and then he fucked off.
5:51
SPEAKER_03: And it was the most.
5:52
SPEAKER_03: I was like, Yeah, it was so weird.
5:54
SPEAKER_03: Like, I still can't believe yeah.
5:57
SPEAKER_03: I was like, you asshole.
5:58
SPEAKER_02: Well, I don't I literally don't get it, and I can guarantee you guys.
6:01
SPEAKER_02: Well, I suppose if you're taking a photo, maybe they maybe they just exaggerate, but that would piss me off.
6:06
SPEAKER_03: It just felt like a bit much when at that time of night where we were, okay.
6:11
SPEAKER_03: We're still like central Amsterdam, but we weren't like we were we're in more of a residential area.
6:17
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
6:17
SPEAKER_03: And I was like, for the sake of waiting for 30 seconds.
6:21
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, literally fuck off.
6:22
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it just felt a bit weird.
6:25
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, I do have another thing I'm loving this week though.
6:28
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, go on.
6:28
SPEAKER_03: Um, I started reading The Deal, which is the first book in this series by L.
6:33
SPEAKER_03: Kennedy, which is what off campus is based on.
6:36
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
6:36
SPEAKER_03: You sent me a picture.
6:37
SPEAKER_03: I can't put it down.
6:39
SPEAKER_03: I am loving it.
6:41
SPEAKER_03: And I try to make a conscious effort.
6:42
SPEAKER_03: So my kind of two New Year's resolutions this year, which are maybe not going so well.
6:47
SPEAKER_03: The first was trying be on time stuff.
6:49
SPEAKER_03: Lol lolol.
6:50
SPEAKER_03: Um be late for our own funeral.
6:53
SPEAKER_03: I'm getting better, but the second was try and read before going to bed.
6:57
SPEAKER_03: Because it's good for your brain.
6:58
SPEAKER_03: Rather than sing and scrolling, switch off, read.
7:02
SPEAKER_03: And actually, I've been really enjoying, like through the summer where I've had free Saturdays because I've not been hunting.
7:08
SPEAKER_03: I've often sat out on an afternoon, so I gym and ride in the morning, and then I have my afternoons free.
7:13
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
7:13
SPEAKER_03: I often have a house to myself, it's really nice and quiet.
7:15
SPEAKER_03: I sit in the garden, and I've been reading, and I've been really enjoying it.
7:18
SPEAKER_03: But yeah, the deal, I can't put it down.
7:20
SPEAKER_03: If anyone's not read it, and it's by L Kennedy.
7:23
SPEAKER_03: L Kennedy, yeah.
7:25
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
7:25
SPEAKER_03: It's V Good.
7:26
SPEAKER_03: Share it.
7:27
SPEAKER_03: So yeah.
7:28
SPEAKER_03: Um, I've got some Have you done your fuck off?
7:32
SPEAKER_02: No.
7:32
SPEAKER_03: I almost just skipped you there, didn't I?
7:33
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you did.
7:34
SPEAKER_03: Sorry, my lady.
7:35
SPEAKER_02: I know, Gimp.
7:36
SPEAKER_03: Fuck you.
7:36
SPEAKER_03: What's your fuck off of the week?
7:38
SPEAKER_02: My fuck off of the week.
7:40
SPEAKER_02: People who stop like dead in the middle of a busy pavement, right?
7:46
SPEAKER_02: So to check their phone.
7:47
SPEAKER_02: And it's something that really fucks me off when I lived in London.
7:50
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
7:51
SPEAKER_02: It happens a lot in London, obviously, you've got loads of tourists, fine.
7:53
SPEAKER_02: But it's also like on the tube as well.
7:56
SPEAKER_02: Nobody's self-aware.
7:58
SPEAKER_02: Like at all.
7:59
SPEAKER_02: Check your rear view mirror when you're about to stop.
8:01
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, literally, nobody's self-aware.
8:03
SPEAKER_02: And it's the same when you go into like a supermarket or something like that, someone just leaves their trolley or they're like staring at something for so long.
8:08
SPEAKER_02: I am consciously monitoring.
8:10
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
8:10
SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, oh, sorry, I'm in your way.
8:12
SPEAKER_02: Like I will move out of someone's way.
8:13
SPEAKER_02: And the same.
8:16
SPEAKER_02: Makes you want to punch them in the back of the head.
8:17
SPEAKER_02: Be a bit more mindful.
8:18
SPEAKER_03: I had it on the escalator at Heathrow the other day.
8:20
SPEAKER_03: You know, and they have the whole like when you're in London that you stick to the right and the left is where you want to move.
8:24
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
8:25
SPEAKER_03: People were stood on the right, but then with their suitcase hanging out.
8:28
SPEAKER_03: And I was like, Do you wanna do you wanna move it out of the way?
8:30
SPEAKER_03: I'd just pick it up.
8:31
SPEAKER_03: I was like, throw it.
8:32
SPEAKER_03: Excuse me.
8:32
SPEAKER_03: Can you blame it?
8:33
SPEAKER_03: Scoot, scoot.
8:34
SPEAKER_03: Scoot, scoot, scoot, scoot, please.
8:36
SPEAKER_03: Scoot, scoot.
8:36
SPEAKER_03: Dx.
8:37
SPEAKER_03: So yeah, I feel you.
8:39
SPEAKER_03: Um, are you ready for some snork Mario Voids?
8:41
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, Rich, are you ready for some Snork Mario Voids?
8:43
SPEAKER_03: I am.
8:44
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we go.
8:46
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna mix it up this week.
8:47
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna start with the men first.
8:48
SPEAKER_03: Go on.
8:49
SPEAKER_03: So we have, in no particular order, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jason Momoa, and Andrew Garfield.
8:57
SPEAKER_03: I feel like I know who Andrew Garfield is, but I can't picture him.
8:59
SPEAKER_03: He's Spider-Man, isn't he?
9:00
SPEAKER_03: Fact check, please, Rich.
9:02
SPEAKER_03: Who did he do?
9:03
SPEAKER_03: Andrew Garfield, he was Spider-Man, wasn't he?
9:04
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
9:05
SPEAKER_03: Tom Holland is current Spider-Man.
9:06
SPEAKER_03: Andrew Garfield was last, Spider-Man.
9:07
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I know.
9:08
SPEAKER_03: Okay, right, fine.
9:09
SPEAKER_04: Um he was also in the social network.
9:12
SPEAKER_02: Snog Leo, marry Jason Mamore.
9:16
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you're not kicking him out, buddy.
9:17
SPEAKER_02: Aquaman, come at me.
9:19
SPEAKER_02: Um, and get rid of what's his twelve?
9:22
SPEAKER_02: Andrew Garfield.
9:23
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
9:23
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
9:24
SPEAKER_03: Any variations on that, Rich?
9:25
SPEAKER_03: We know you like to uh follow suit with Olivia.
9:28
SPEAKER_04: Um no, I'm not marrying Jason.
9:30
SPEAKER_04: Uh so I'll uh snug Jason.
9:31
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but you are a small buoy.
9:33
SPEAKER_02: Okay, you'd be the tunnel, he'd be the train.
9:36
unknown: Wow.
9:38
SPEAKER_04: I'm not even gonna say anything, it's just no point.
9:42
SPEAKER_03: So you're snugging Jason.
9:43
SPEAKER_03: Snugging Jason.
9:44
SPEAKER_03: Who are you marrying, Rich?
9:47
SPEAKER_04: Uh who's the middle one again?
9:50
SPEAKER_03: Man like Leo.
9:52
SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah.
9:53
SPEAKER_04: And then Andrew Garfield.
9:54
SPEAKER_04: I think I'm gonna avoid Leo actually.
9:56
SPEAKER_04: I'm marry Andrew Garfield.
9:57
SPEAKER_03: Is that really too old for Leonardo DiCaprio?
10:00
SPEAKER_03: We all are in this room.
10:01
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we're all over the age of 22.
10:02
SPEAKER_04: So yeah, basically.
10:04
SPEAKER_03: For that reason I couldn't take the rejection.
10:06
SPEAKER_03: Quite pretty.
10:08
SPEAKER_03: Carry on.
10:09
SPEAKER_03: I would I'd go the same as you.
10:11
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
10:12
SPEAKER_03: So I'd snog Leo, marry Jason.
10:15
SPEAKER_03: I'm chinning off Andrew Garfield.
10:16
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, fair.
10:17
SPEAKER_03: Sorry, not sorry.
10:18
SPEAKER_03: Okay, and then the women, because we're inclusive here, we're diverse.
10:21
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
10:21
SPEAKER_03: We have Scarlett Johansson, our girl Rihanna, and Emma Watson.
10:26
SPEAKER_04: Oh, that's tough.
10:27
SPEAKER_02: Snog, Scarlett Johansson, marry Riri, because she is my Bayan queen.
10:33
SPEAKER_02: Um, and unfortunately, Emma Watson, off you go.
10:36
SPEAKER_02: In the Grundon.
10:40
SPEAKER_04: I'm gonna ma I'm gonna snog Emma.
10:42
SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
10:43
SPEAKER_03: Men have a thing for her, and I find it weird when you watch Harry Potter and she's like 12 and everyone's like English Rose pretty.
10:49
SPEAKER_03: She's so fit, and I'm like English Rose pretty.
10:51
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
10:52
SPEAKER_02: A bit like me, really.
10:59
SPEAKER_04: You're more Irish that, yeah.
11:01
SPEAKER_04: I'll insert crickets there.
11:03
SPEAKER_02: Eat shit.
11:03
SPEAKER_02: Carry on.
11:04
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, please do, that'd be quite funny.
11:06
SPEAKER_02: Get pegged.
11:08
SPEAKER_03: Get pegged.
11:09
SPEAKER_04: You can't keep saying that.
11:11
SPEAKER_04: Simon.
11:12
SPEAKER_03: Um you're snogging Emma.
11:14
SPEAKER_03: Who are you marrying?
11:15
SPEAKER_03: You're Scarlett Johansson or Rihanna?
11:16
SPEAKER_04: Scarlett Johansson.
11:17
SPEAKER_03: Oh, strong choice, yeah.
11:18
SPEAKER_03: She's you're avoiding Riri.
11:20
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
11:22
SPEAKER_03: Dick.
11:23
SPEAKER_03: Charles.
11:24
SPEAKER_03: I think I would snog Rihanna, marry Scarlett, avoid Emma.
11:28
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, okay.
11:29
SPEAKER_03: Alright.
11:30
SPEAKER_03: Side note, did you see the pictures of Reiri at um Barbados Carnival?
11:36
SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah.
11:37
SPEAKER_03: She looks spectacular.
11:39
SPEAKER_03: Never in doubt, but like what a woman.
11:42
SPEAKER_03: And those outfits are teeny tiny.
11:44
SPEAKER_03: Teeny tiny diny.
11:46
SPEAKER_02: Um so before we move on to your icks.
11:51
SPEAKER_02: Or you have an ick.
11:52
SPEAKER_02: Your ex.
11:53
SPEAKER_02: Uh, we did a poll that was would you rather never have sex again or never drink alcohol again?
12:02
SPEAKER_00: Oh.
12:03
SPEAKER_02: Before I talk about this, you two?
12:06
SPEAKER_03: This was an easy one for me.
12:07
SPEAKER_03: Never drink again.
12:08
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I know, but but you're a one-pint wander anyway.
12:11
SPEAKER_03: How dare you?
12:12
SPEAKER_02: It's not my fault I know.
12:13
SPEAKER_03: I had a head injury and it got a lot worse.
12:16
SPEAKER_02: Every time you say head injury, I'm gonna take a shot.
12:22
SPEAKER_03: You get your own head injury.
12:23
SPEAKER_03: What are you saying again?
12:24
SPEAKER_03: Never drink again.
12:24
SPEAKER_02: Never drink again.
12:25
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
12:25
SPEAKER_01: Easy.
12:26
SPEAKER_03: Surely this is gonna be 100% never drink again.
12:29
SPEAKER_02: No, this is a toughie because I would say, in a way, I would say never have sex again because I love a fucking drink and I can just do it myself.
12:40
SPEAKER_04: That's that's my loophole.
12:42
SPEAKER_04: Because no, that's not that's my loophole.
12:44
SPEAKER_04: You can't ever have it again.
12:45
SPEAKER_02: That's my loophole.
12:46
SPEAKER_02: Still counts.
12:47
SPEAKER_03: Well no, but no, it doesn't because I'm doing it too much.
12:49
SPEAKER_02: I wouldn't consider sex a good finger as sex until No, because we have a close friend that doesn't class blowjobs or fingering as part of sex, so it's not cheating.
13:04
SPEAKER_02: Sorry, so it doesn't count as part of smile.
13:09
SPEAKER_02: My loophole is never have sex again because I can do whatever I want to interesting loophole.
13:16
SPEAKER_03: I would leave the booze.
13:18
SPEAKER_02: Also, is it another loophole that if you're with a woman, technically you can do everything, but and it's not proper sex?
13:30
SPEAKER_02: What do you mean?
13:31
SPEAKER_04: Not penetration sex, yeah.
13:33
SPEAKER_02: You don't have to, yeah.
13:34
SPEAKER_02: I tell you, the way my brain's working right now, there's ways around the same thing.
13:38
SPEAKER_04: Also coming out to us on the podcast.
13:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I might be.
13:41
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, she's a scissor sister.
13:42
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, lip sync take your mama out on that lip sync show what it's all about.
13:48
SPEAKER_04: A lot of effort.
13:49
SPEAKER_03: Uh so what was the what was the results?
13:52
SPEAKER_03: I'm really curious.
13:52
SPEAKER_02: I have a question for you after the results.
13:55
SPEAKER_02: Uh never have sex again was 20%.
13:58
SPEAKER_02: Really?
13:59
SPEAKER_02: And never drink alcohol with 80%.
14:02
SPEAKER_03: I mean, I'm surprised by that because I thought it'd be more of a swing.
14:05
SPEAKER_03: Pardon the pun.
14:06
SPEAKER_03: Hey!
14:09
SPEAKER_02: Go you good thing.
14:10
SPEAKER_02: Hey, hey.
14:11
SPEAKER_02: So I I actually have two questions for you before we go on to it.
14:14
SPEAKER_03: Am I gonna want to answer this or we'll be edited out?
14:17
SPEAKER_02: Do you know what brothel creepers are?
14:20
SPEAKER_03: Oh, right.
14:21
SPEAKER_03: No, I don't, because you mentioned this in the group chat, and I was like, what is that?
14:24
SPEAKER_03: And I've avoided Googling it.
14:26
SPEAKER_03: Is it someone that my guess would be but break down the word brothel and creeper comes from the Greek word?
14:32
SPEAKER_03: You ever seen my big fat Greek?
14:33
SPEAKER_02: It's a Greek word, yeah.
14:34
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, okay, so otherwise that makes no sense.
14:36
SPEAKER_02: You're a vegetarian, that's fine, I'll make lamb.
14:38
SPEAKER_03: Yes, it's okay, I do lamb.
14:40
SPEAKER_03: It has a hole in it.
14:41
SPEAKER_03: Anyone who's never seen my big fat Greek writing would be like fucking the Easter people talking about.
14:46
SPEAKER_03: Um, it's a bunt.
14:48
SPEAKER_03: Um, I would think that it would be someone who hangs around a brothel and tries to pick up the girls when they finished work or sneak sneak their way in.
14:58
SPEAKER_03: Nah, you're overthinking it.
15:00
SPEAKER_02: Am I?
15:00
SPEAKER_02: Go on.
15:01
SPEAKER_02: So, someone we all know um came up to me and said, Hey Liv, do you like my brothel creepers?
15:07
SPEAKER_02: And he was wearing a brand new pair of loafers.
15:12
SPEAKER_03: Why would a loafer have such a negative connotation?
15:16
SPEAKER_04: They were suede as well.
15:17
SPEAKER_04: They were suede.
15:18
SPEAKER_03: What's wrong with a suede loafer?
15:20
SPEAKER_03: I almost wore my suede loafers today.
15:22
SPEAKER_02: Anyone that's looking now is I'm wearing loafers.
15:25
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you brothel creeper.
15:27
SPEAKER_03: A brothel creeper leopard prince.
15:28
SPEAKER_03: Go on.
15:29
SPEAKER_03: Is it just that person that calls them a brothel creeper?
15:31
SPEAKER_03: Is this a well?
15:32
SPEAKER_03: It is a thing, isn't it?
15:33
SPEAKER_03: This is a thing, is it?
15:34
SPEAKER_02: It is a thing, yeah.
15:35
SPEAKER_03: Right, that's interesting.
15:36
SPEAKER_02: And I I brought it up with close friends and they were like, Oh, I haven't heard that in a while.
15:40
SPEAKER_03: I've never heard that before.
15:42
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, interesting.
15:44
SPEAKER_02: And uh my my second question, but I definitely think you you would cut this because of my coming out on the podcast.
15:50
SPEAKER_02: Would we have a scissor?
15:52
SPEAKER_03: You and I, would we be scissor sisters?
15:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
15:56
SPEAKER_02: If it was like a life or death situation, what kind of life or death situation would you be in that we would have to scissor?
16:03
SPEAKER_02: That's my next question.
16:04
SPEAKER_02: Well, I don't know.
16:05
SPEAKER_02: But if it was life or kidnap, distraction situation.
16:07
SPEAKER_02: If there was a gun to my head and they were like, pick any woman in the room, and there was like you're the only one.
16:12
SPEAKER_03: I don't want you to die, so yeah.
16:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I yeah, I'd yeah, I'd sync with you.
16:15
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah, cool.
16:17
SPEAKER_02: So anyone that doesn't know, I am a raging lesbian.
16:20
SPEAKER_03: Um You're just open-minded.
16:25
SPEAKER_03: Flexitarian.
16:26
SPEAKER_03: You probably can't say that now, fuck's sake.
16:28
SPEAKER_03: There's so many things you can't say now that I don't know what I can say.
16:31
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, apparently queer covers everything, doesn't it?
16:33
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
16:33
SPEAKER_02: Rich?
16:34
SPEAKER_02: Yep, we've heard that recently.
16:34
SPEAKER_03: And can we still call people gay, or is that now offensive?
16:37
SPEAKER_02: Rich got told off for saying gay, apparently, the other day.
16:39
SPEAKER_02: So queer covers everything.
16:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
16:40
SPEAKER_02: If we're wrong on someone please, queer used to be an insult, though.
16:44
SPEAKER_03: If you said that someone was queer, that was a negative thing.
16:46
SPEAKER_03: So that's now I think I did hear somewhere or read somewhere that the gays I can't can I say the gays?
16:51
SPEAKER_03: I love a gay.
16:51
SPEAKER_02: I love the gay.
16:52
SPEAKER_03: The gays are taking back queer, they're taking ownership and they're turning it into something powerful, so we can say queer.
16:57
SPEAKER_02: What was that TV programme?
16:59
SPEAKER_02: Uh Queer Rye for the Street Queer.
17:01
SPEAKER_02: And they because I know a guy and his nickname is Bunny, and they go, Oh, Bunny, oh Bunny, Bunny's a terrible quir.
17:07
SPEAKER_02: Bunny's a terrible quir.
17:08
SPEAKER_03: Oh, I've absolutely.
17:09
SPEAKER_02: And that's the last time I heard it being in a sort of derogatory way.
17:12
SPEAKER_03: Alright.
17:14
SPEAKER_02: Um?
17:15
SPEAKER_03: But I love a gay.
17:16
SPEAKER_02: Someone correct us.
17:16
SPEAKER_02: Can we say queer?
17:18
SPEAKER_03: Let us know.
17:18
SPEAKER_03: Is it okay for me to say I love a gay?
17:21
SPEAKER_03: If it's not, I'll be very sad.
17:23
SPEAKER_02: I love you all, I love everyone.
17:24
SPEAKER_02: I do too.
17:26
SPEAKER_02: So, moving on, have you got any icks for me?
17:28
SPEAKER_03: Yes, I do have one.
17:29
SPEAKER_03: Someone sent it to me.
17:31
SPEAKER_03: Um, and uh, we are gonna need to share a photo of this and stories.
17:33
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
17:34
SPEAKER_03: Somebody saw someone wearing croc boat shoes.
17:39
SPEAKER_03: Half croc, half boat shoe.
17:42
SPEAKER_00: Wait, I want to Google this.
17:43
SPEAKER_03: Google it.
17:43
SPEAKER_03: You'll be horrified.
17:45
SPEAKER_03: If you're driving right now, pull over somewhere safely and Google croc boat shoes.
17:51
SPEAKER_03: If you're listening to a podcast walking down the street, do not stop, keep moving, or Olivia will hate you.
17:56
SPEAKER_03: But Google croc boat shoe.
17:59
SPEAKER_03: Fucking Christ.
18:00
SPEAKER_03: She said she thought she was really good looking until she swatted the shoes and was like, nope.
18:04
SPEAKER_02: Sew me up right now.
18:07
SPEAKER_02: Jesus tonight.
18:09
SPEAKER_02: That would make me volunteer for a hysterectomy.
18:12
SPEAKER_02: Fucking hell.
18:13
SPEAKER_02: Jesus live.
18:15
SPEAKER_02: Almost on a cracker.
18:17
SPEAKER_02: £41.99.
18:19
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you can they are reduced.
18:23
SPEAKER_04: They were£65.
18:23
SPEAKER_02: Wait.
18:25
SPEAKER_02: Crock Classic Islander clogs.
18:28
SPEAKER_02: These ones have a lace up front.
18:30
SPEAKER_02: Oh, God.
18:31
SPEAKER_02: Right, you are single-handedly keeping yourself celibate.
18:34
SPEAKER_02: If you wear those, you fucking morons.
18:36
SPEAKER_03: And for anyone whose husband's wearing those, divorce them immediately.
18:39
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
18:39
SPEAKER_03: Goodbye.
18:40
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
18:41
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, there's my ick.
18:42
SPEAKER_03: Um, I have got a couple of petty stories for you.
18:45
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, fucking slightly.
18:46
SPEAKER_03: Slight, slight twists.
18:47
SPEAKER_03: So, you know, we were before we were doing petty things that someone's done to an ick.
18:51
SPEAKER_03: An ick?
18:52
SPEAKER_03: Petty Petty Things That Someone's Done to an X.
18:55
SPEAKER_03: I've got a slight couple of twists on it.
18:58
SPEAKER_03: So these are just petty things that people have done.
18:59
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
19:00
SPEAKER_03: So one, a woman was rude to me on the train today, so I googled the book that she was reading and I told her who the murderer is.
19:07
SPEAKER_03: I'd fucking do that.
19:08
SPEAKER_03: I like that.
19:10
SPEAKER_03: I like that.
19:11
SPEAKER_03: Imagine how fuming you'd be if you were reading your book.
19:14
SPEAKER_03: I like that.
19:15
SPEAKER_03: It's karma in the world, isn't it?
19:16
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
19:16
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
19:17
SPEAKER_03: Um, and then the second one was the uh, you know, I mentioned in the intro Devonshire versus Cornish cream tea.
19:22
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
19:22
SPEAKER_03: Okay, so somebody down in Devon was on their point-to-point committee.
19:27
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
19:28
SPEAKER_03: They had booked for the day, you know, and you you book all your stall holders, they booked someone to do cream teas.
19:33
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
19:34
SPEAKER_03: Now, obviously, as we know, Devon versus Cornwall, very different.
19:37
SPEAKER_03: So in Devon, you go cream first, jam second, which is how you and I.
19:41
SPEAKER_03: You and I do it, yeah.
19:42
SPEAKER_03: So obviously Cornish is jam first, cream second.
19:45
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, this guy was from Courmois.
19:48
SPEAKER_03: Oh no.
19:49
SPEAKER_03: So he starts making cream teas and he starts putting jam on first and then cream.
19:53
SPEAKER_03: And so the the the landowner, where the point-to-point was being held, was like, sorry sir, can you can you change it?
20:01
SPEAKER_03: Can you do we're from Devon here?
20:03
SPEAKER_03: You're in Devon now.
20:04
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
20:04
SPEAKER_03: Can you do cream first and then jam second?
20:06
SPEAKER_03: And it it turned into a full-blown blazing row.
20:11
SPEAKER_03: Oh, fuck me.
20:12
SPEAKER_03: To the point where the the stallholder was asked to leave.
20:17
SPEAKER_03: Was you joking?
20:18
SPEAKER_03: No, was never invited back, and on the next year's agenda on the point-to-point committee meeting, it had like firmly underlined that they had to get someone that was a Devonshire cream tea person to come.
20:31
SPEAKER_03: I feel like there's better use of our time.
20:33
SPEAKER_03: Isn't that mad and our energy?
20:35
SPEAKER_03: It's like proper village life.
20:38
SPEAKER_03: I really do.
20:39
SPEAKER_03: Isn't it so petty though?
20:41
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
20:43
SPEAKER_03: Jam and cream.
20:44
SPEAKER_03: All tastes the same when it goes down.
20:47
SPEAKER_03: Just sandwich it together and turn it the other way up.
20:49
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, literally.
20:51
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that was so petty that I thought you'd really enjoy that.
20:53
SPEAKER_03: That's like proper proper village life.
20:55
SPEAKER_03: Like oh my god.
20:57
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
20:58
SPEAKER_02: Um, so the funniest one I heard, petty stories-wise, and I actually can't remember where it came from.
21:04
SPEAKER_02: There was a girl um in an office that was being a complete dick and annoying everyone.
21:10
SPEAKER_02: And another colleague of hers basically got so fucked off that she went to the fridge, pulled out her Kinder Bueno, and punched it and put it put it back in.
21:19
SPEAKER_03: Imagine opening that.
21:21
SPEAKER_03: I'd be fuming.
21:23
SPEAKER_03: The best bit about a Kinder Bueno is the hard outside, isn't it?
21:27
SPEAKER_03: The gooeyna.
21:29
SPEAKER_03: That praline whip.
21:31
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, basically, enjoy your praline flake that's gonna crumble on over you.
21:35
SPEAKER_03: Oh, you'd be devastated.
21:38
SPEAKER_03: Um I will say though, real quick, shout out to Ellen, who I work with.
21:42
SPEAKER_03: She made Kinder Bueno um Rocky Road the other week.
21:46
SPEAKER_03: Oh, go on.
21:47
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna have to ask her to make something I can bring here, hand style, the biggest sugar rush I've ever had.
21:52
SPEAKER_03: Um, but it was absolutely unbelievable.
21:54
unknown: Wow.
21:54
SPEAKER_03: Every mouthful.
21:56
SPEAKER_03: I said to her, I was like, You wanna quit this job?
21:58
SPEAKER_03: You wanna quit this job?
22:00
SPEAKER_03: Mary Berry.
22:01
SPEAKER_03: We'll get making those.
22:02
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
22:02
SPEAKER_03: Shower, Ellen.
22:03
SPEAKER_03: She likes to listen on a Friday night when she has an everything bath.
22:09
SPEAKER_01: What a galp.
22:10
SPEAKER_02: Um so I have a who's most likely to.
22:16
SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
22:17
SPEAKER_03: Is this for the three of us or is this for you and I?
22:20
SPEAKER_03: Because you know, we like to be inclusive of Rich.
22:22
SPEAKER_02: I would say let's include all three of us because it's quite funny.
22:26
SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay.
22:27
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
22:28
SPEAKER_03: Can you take sit, please?
22:28
SPEAKER_03: Hang on.
22:29
SPEAKER_03: Rich, do you have your buzzer ready ready?
22:31
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
22:32
SPEAKER_02: Rich.
22:33
SPEAKER_02: You can vote for yourself.
22:36
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
22:36
SPEAKER_02: You can go me, whatever.
22:39
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
22:40
SPEAKER_02: So who's most likely to get arrested?
22:43
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
22:44
SPEAKER_04: Rich.
22:44
SPEAKER_02: Olivia.
22:45
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I'd agree.
22:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
22:47
SPEAKER_02: What for?
22:48
SPEAKER_03: Soliciting drunk and disorderly or ha having a fight with someone turns it turns into GBH.
22:54
SPEAKER_03: Pissing in public.
22:56
SPEAKER_03: Pissing in public.
22:57
SPEAKER_03: You back in the world.
22:58
SPEAKER_03: Pissing in public.
22:59
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah, I pissed on the apples once, yeah.
23:02
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, behind a hedge, no one saw it near a road.
23:04
SPEAKER_03: It's fine.
23:05
SPEAKER_02: Who's most likely to become famous?
23:08
SPEAKER_02: Uh Yeah.
23:09
SPEAKER_02: I say you and I.
23:11
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you're not coming through.
23:12
SPEAKER_02: Sorry, Rich.
23:12
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
23:13
SPEAKER_03: You're like big brother, but I quite like that.
23:15
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
23:16
SPEAKER_03: Because no one knows.
23:17
SPEAKER_02: We said Charlie's Angels.
23:19
SPEAKER_02: You wouldn't be Charlie, you'd be the Bosley.
23:21
SPEAKER_02: Didn't we?
23:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
23:22
SPEAKER_02: Who's Bosley?
23:23
SPEAKER_02: You realize I do have a lot of people.
23:24
SPEAKER_02: Bosley's the one that sorts them all out.
23:26
SPEAKER_02: Charlie's the one in the radio, you know, that they never meet.
23:28
SPEAKER_04: This is one podcast of many.
23:31
SPEAKER_02: Who's most likely to get cancelled first?
23:34
SPEAKER_03: Uh uh Yeah, yeah.
23:35
SPEAKER_03: Olivia.
23:37
SPEAKER_04: I agree.
23:38
SPEAKER_03: You would say something really on hinge.
23:39
SPEAKER_03: Someone asked me the other day, he said, are you two PR trained?
23:42
SPEAKER_03: Because you sound really good.
23:43
SPEAKER_03: I was like, absolutely fucking not.
23:45
SPEAKER_02: Obviously not.
23:46
SPEAKER_02: No.
23:48
SPEAKER_02: Who is most likely to survive a zombie apocalypse?
23:53
SPEAKER_02: Rich.
23:54
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna say me.
23:56
SPEAKER_02: I would say Charles.
23:57
SPEAKER_02: Would you?
23:58
SPEAKER_02: Because you don't hide.
24:00
SPEAKER_02: No, because you have snacks and everything.
24:02
SPEAKER_02: You just think of everything.
24:03
SPEAKER_02: I think you I'm a prepared lady, yeah.
24:05
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
24:06
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
24:07
SPEAKER_04: No, I would, I'm sure.
24:08
SPEAKER_04: Do you think?
24:09
SPEAKER_04: Do you like the snacks though?
24:11
SPEAKER_03: I'm always prepared, I will say.
24:13
SPEAKER_03: However, I think the anxiety would break me first.
24:19
SPEAKER_03: There's only so much running you can do.
24:22
SPEAKER_03: There's only so many trees you can climb.
24:24
SPEAKER_03: Um thank you.
24:25
SPEAKER_02: I'll take that as a compliment.
24:26
SPEAKER_02: Who's most likely to accidentally text the wrong person?
24:30
SPEAKER_03: I'm going Charles.
24:31
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah, I'd vote myself because I have done it before.
24:33
SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah, no.
24:36
SPEAKER_02: Who's most likely to marry for money?
24:39
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
24:40
SPEAKER_03: You.
24:40
SPEAKER_03: You.
24:42
SPEAKER_03: Hands down to you, little missboat.
24:46
SPEAKER_03: Oh, sorry, you're over the age of 17, you've got a boatload of cash.
24:50
SPEAKER_03: I'll take you.
24:51
SPEAKER_02: Greet your beaver first.
24:53
SPEAKER_02: Um who's most likely to spend 500 pounds on something completely unnecessary?
24:59
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
25:00
SPEAKER_02: Rich.
25:00
SPEAKER_02: You.
25:01
unknown: Ah.
25:01
SPEAKER_04: You think Richard would be able to do that?
25:04
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, really?
25:05
SPEAKER_04: All tech stuff.
25:06
SPEAKER_03: I know, but I don't think any of it would be unnecessary.
25:08
SPEAKER_04: Like, I think I could justify it, 100%.
25:10
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, as I say, I think you could splash the cash, no problem.
25:13
SPEAKER_03: Look at these cameras.
25:14
SPEAKER_03: I see you.
25:15
SPEAKER_03: However, who's most likely to do it unnecessarily?
25:17
SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah, no.
25:18
SPEAKER_04: This guy.
25:19
SPEAKER_04: You've convinced me.
25:20
SPEAKER_03: Sorry, can we just talk about the fact that you can do that?
25:21
SPEAKER_04: How many bloody Marys can you get for 500 quid?
25:24
SPEAKER_04: Pori?
25:24
SPEAKER_04: How many bloody Marys can you get for 500 quid?
25:27
SPEAKER_03: How many suits from Holland Cooper could you get for 500 quid?
25:29
SPEAKER_03: You can't.
25:30
SPEAKER_03: Exactly that.
25:31
SPEAKER_03: Ding ding ding! Here's our winner, everyone.
25:33
SPEAKER_02: Whoa, I have an 800-pound pair of Minerva Blonics.
25:36
SPEAKER_02: Shut the fuck up.
25:38
SPEAKER_04: I think, yeah, I think you've just convinced it.
25:40
SPEAKER_02: Nice shoe collection.
25:44
SPEAKER_02: Um who is most likely to become a millionaire?
25:48
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
25:49
SPEAKER_03: You.
25:50
SPEAKER_02: I would say all of us have the ability.
25:52
SPEAKER_02: Do you reckon?
25:53
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
25:54
SPEAKER_03: I don't know, I think I spend it.
25:56
SPEAKER_03: I'll be flying.
25:57
SPEAKER_03: Bye.
25:57
SPEAKER_03: But you just keep making money.
25:59
SPEAKER_03: I still think we'd be able to do it.
26:01
SPEAKER_02: Very good at spending it.
26:03
SPEAKER_02: Who's most likely to fall in love after one date?
26:07
SPEAKER_02: That's a toughie because we're all quite tough cookies.
26:09
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:11
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, Rich.
26:12
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I'd probably say me.
26:13
SPEAKER_04: I think you're the source of the three of us.
26:15
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, but it's I wouldn't define it as real love.
26:18
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:19
SPEAKER_02: Infatuation sort of love.
26:20
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:21
SPEAKER_04: Slash lust.
26:22
SPEAKER_02: Who's most likely to have a secret double life?
26:25
SPEAKER_02: Ha ha.
26:25
SPEAKER_02: Charlie.
26:26
SPEAKER_03: Ha ha, do you think?
26:27
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
26:28
SPEAKER_03: Why is that?
26:28
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
26:29
SPEAKER_02: I just get a vibe.
26:31
SPEAKER_03: Interesting.
26:32
SPEAKER_04: I don't have the capacity all the time.
26:34
SPEAKER_02: Neither do I.
26:40
SPEAKER_02: Who is most likely to get kicked out of a nightclub?
26:44
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, you.
26:45
SPEAKER_03: Don't even need to finish the sentence.
26:47
SPEAKER_03: What'd you do this time?
26:49
SPEAKER_03: Oh, man.
26:51
SPEAKER_04: I got kicked out once for falling asleep.
26:53
SPEAKER_03: I was gonna say everyone needs a little napy.
26:56
SPEAKER_02: Everyone forgets rich over there.
26:58
SPEAKER_02: You definitely will get kicked out.
26:59
SPEAKER_04: I have been kicked out.
27:00
SPEAKER_02: You're the little one that starts the fights and then goes to your head.
27:03
SPEAKER_03: Leaves it for his bigger mate.
27:04
unknown: Yeah.
27:05
SPEAKER_03: He said this punch him.
27:07
SPEAKER_04: I have been punched in a club and I did nothing.
27:09
SPEAKER_03: You've been punched?
27:10
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
27:11
SPEAKER_03: Oh, that's really sad.
27:12
SPEAKER_04: No, it's fine.
27:12
SPEAKER_04: I'm sorry to hear it.
27:13
SPEAKER_04: It wasn't either of us.
27:14
SPEAKER_04: The the lads took over.
27:16
SPEAKER_04: I did nothing.
27:16
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, good.
27:19
SPEAKER_03: I'm such a fucking sensitive Susan.
27:21
SPEAKER_03: I I don't like any form of violence.
27:22
SPEAKER_03: And I think that's really good.
27:23
SPEAKER_03: Oh no, don't worry.
27:24
SPEAKER_04: I took it.
27:24
SPEAKER_04: You didn't let me down.
27:26
SPEAKER_03: Good for you.
27:27
SPEAKER_03: Good for you.
27:29
SPEAKER_03: Go, Glencoco.
27:30
SPEAKER_02: Um we're done.
27:32
SPEAKER_02: I really enjoyed that.
27:33
SPEAKER_02: Can we do that again?
27:34
SPEAKER_02: Who's most likely to?
27:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's really fair.
27:38
SPEAKER_03: Rich, are you ready for your quiz?
27:40
SPEAKER_04: Uh yeah, I don't really want to.
27:42
SPEAKER_03: Rich, just everyone knows Rich had no idea about what this is.
27:45
SPEAKER_03: Apart from the tiniest little bit, I messaged him and told him he had a surprise, but he's got no idea what it is.
27:52
SPEAKER_03: Um okay, so Rich, we're gonna be asking you five questions.
27:55
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
27:56
SPEAKER_03: And your quiz here is would you survive being a girl?
28:00
SPEAKER_03: Okay, so you'll be delighted to know they're all multiple choice.
28:03
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
28:04
SPEAKER_03: Okay, so question number one: you've been out in public all day.
28:07
SPEAKER_03: You can't wait to get home so you can change.
28:10
SPEAKER_03: What are you most excited about taking off?
28:12
SPEAKER_03: A undoing your ponytail, B, taking off your bra.
28:17
SPEAKER_03: C, taking off your pants, like underwear, knickers, thong, whatever.
28:20
SPEAKER_03: Or D taking off your dress.
28:23
SPEAKER_04: So hang on, let me just clarify this.
28:25
SPEAKER_04: If I get all these right, I'm thinking like a woman.
28:29
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
28:30
SPEAKER_03: You know women if you get this right.
28:32
SPEAKER_04: All of them.
28:32
SPEAKER_04: I feel like I caveat, every single one.
28:35
SPEAKER_04: A lot of female friends.
28:36
SPEAKER_04: Okay, I'm gonna say bra.
28:38
SPEAKER_03: Correct! Ding ding ding.
28:40
SPEAKER_03: It's straight away, immediate effect.
28:42
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
28:42
SPEAKER_03: Best thing to take off.
28:43
SPEAKER_03: Okay, question number two.
28:45
SPEAKER_03: You're really upset about something that your boyfriend said to you.
28:47
SPEAKER_03: What do you reply with if he asks you if you're okay?
28:50
SPEAKER_03: Is it A?
28:51
SPEAKER_03: I'm upset that you said that.
28:53
SPEAKER_03: Is it B?
28:54
SPEAKER_03: I need space.
28:56
SPEAKER_03: Is it C, we need to talk.
28:58
SPEAKER_03: Or is it D?
28:59
SPEAKER_03: I'm fine.
29:00
SPEAKER_04: D.
29:02
SPEAKER_04: I was waiting for that.
29:04
SPEAKER_03: Two from two! He knows.
29:07
SPEAKER_03: I'm fine.
29:08
SPEAKER_03: I'm fine.
29:10
SPEAKER_03: Um okay, question number three.
29:12
SPEAKER_03: Your friend says, can you check me?
29:16
SPEAKER_03: What do you do?
29:18
SPEAKER_03: A take a picture of her.
29:20
SPEAKER_03: B tell her if you like her outfit or not.
29:23
SPEAKER_03: C, walk behind her, or D check her teeth.
29:30
SPEAKER_03: Um I think there's a potential two here.
29:33
SPEAKER_03: Faith in you, you know it.
29:35
SPEAKER_03: Uh D.
29:37
SPEAKER_03: I will accept D, because I might look at some.
29:40
SPEAKER_03: Well, I wouldn't ask, I'd just go and show you my teeth.
29:43
SPEAKER_03: But the answer is walk behind her.
29:46
SPEAKER_03: Is that what that means?
29:47
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
29:48
SPEAKER_03: Just in case you come on or something.
29:50
SPEAKER_03: You ain't got like a tampon hanging out or something stuck to seriously, is that what?
29:53
SPEAKER_03: Make sure your skirt's not come up and your ass is showing, you know.
29:56
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
29:56
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
29:57
SPEAKER_03: Like that girl at the Fox of Broadwell.
29:59
SPEAKER_02: Oh.
30:02
SPEAKER_02: No, not Broadwell.
30:03
SPEAKER_02: Down Dow Downswell.
30:05
SPEAKER_02: Of a new one.
30:06
SPEAKER_02: We went to the opening.
30:11
SPEAKER_02: Did you see Charlie's mum?
30:12
SPEAKER_02: She was DJing that day.
30:13
SPEAKER_02: No, we didn't.
30:14
SPEAKER_03: DJ Taula Paula on uh on Instagram, everyone.
30:16
SPEAKER_03: She's got she's a resident DJ there now.
30:18
SPEAKER_02: Um no, we did not see her, but yeah, there was a girl with her bum out, and no one told her.
30:22
SPEAKER_02: Did you tell her?
30:23
SPEAKER_02: Well, because I didn't know if she was actually.
30:25
SPEAKER_04: It looked like she did it on purpose.
30:26
SPEAKER_02: I actually didn't know if she'd done it on purpose because she kept hitching it and I was like Oh, okay.
30:30
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, maybe that was in.
30:31
SPEAKER_03: I feel like that's fine when you're at a beach club, but when you're this was not a beach club.
30:35
SPEAKER_02: On the outskirts of Chalendon at a really nice new pub.
30:37
SPEAKER_03: In a field.
30:38
SPEAKER_03: Maybe not gravel.
30:39
SPEAKER_03: Okay, right.
30:40
SPEAKER_03: You can have a lesson in girl math here.
30:42
SPEAKER_03: Are you ready?
30:43
SPEAKER_03: Final two questions.
30:44
SPEAKER_03: Question number four.
30:45
SPEAKER_03: You bought a six pound coffee in Starbucks and you paid in cash.
30:49
SPEAKER_03: How much money did you spend?
30:51
SPEAKER_03: A.
30:51
SPEAKER_03: Five pounds because you round it down.
30:54
SPEAKER_03: B it was free.
30:55
SPEAKER_03: Or C, six pounds.
30:59
SPEAKER_03: How much money did you spend?
31:01
SPEAKER_04: Um, leaning towards it's between five and three.
31:05
SPEAKER_04: As in free, not three pounds.
31:07
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna have to press you for an answer here, Rich.
31:08
SPEAKER_04: Oh god.
31:10
SPEAKER_04: This is so difficult.
31:13
SPEAKER_04: Five pounds.
31:16
SPEAKER_03: Incorrect.
31:17
SPEAKER_03: It was free because you paid in cash.
31:22
SPEAKER_03: Okay, question number five.
31:24
SPEAKER_03: Final question.
31:25
SPEAKER_03: You started so strong.
31:26
SPEAKER_03: I know.
31:27
SPEAKER_03: Um okay, you you return a 60 pound shirt and you immediately buy a 60 pound dress.
31:34
SPEAKER_03: How much money did you spend?
31:36
SPEAKER_03: A, it was free.
31:38
SPEAKER_03: B 60 pounds.
31:40
SPEAKER_03: Or C, 120 pounds.
31:42
SPEAKER_04: Free.
31:43
SPEAKER_03: Correct! Here ends your quiz in Girl Maths.
31:52
SPEAKER_03: It's so fucking true.
31:54
SPEAKER_02: I know.
31:57
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
31:58
SPEAKER_02: Oh dear me.
32:00
SPEAKER_02: So can I just ask you guys a question?
32:03
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
32:04
SPEAKER_02: Uh before we go on to all this and that and everything else.
32:10
SPEAKER_02: I've got two questions actually.
32:12
SPEAKER_02: One, if you were in the Hunger Games, what would be your weapon of choice?
32:20
SPEAKER_03: I think you've asked me this before.
32:21
SPEAKER_03: Yep.
32:21
SPEAKER_03: And the first reaction I had was, oh god, because I felt anxious about knowing that someone's chasing me.
32:26
SPEAKER_03: Right, you've got to chill out.
32:27
SPEAKER_02: I know.
32:28
SPEAKER_02: No one's chasing you, you're in a safe place, nothing's happening to you.
32:30
SPEAKER_02: I'm stressed.
32:31
SPEAKER_00: Answer the question.
32:34
SPEAKER_03: Weapon of choice.
32:35
SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
32:37
SPEAKER_03: Oh, no, he's I've got to kill someone.
32:39
SPEAKER_03: Oh god.
32:42
SPEAKER_03: My machine gun.
32:43
SPEAKER_03: Would you?
32:44
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
32:44
SPEAKER_03: Then what are you gonna run out of bullets?
32:46
SPEAKER_03: Wow, but you've got loads of bullets in there.
32:47
SPEAKER_03: It's not like a shotgun, you've got two pups, pop up.
32:49
SPEAKER_02: I'm either going bow and arrow.
32:52
SPEAKER_02: Because you've got the ones that you know Katniss had.
32:55
SPEAKER_02: Or anything.
32:56
SPEAKER_02: Oh god! Yeah.
32:58
SPEAKER_02: What are you going, Rich?
33:00
SPEAKER_04: Exactly that.
33:01
SPEAKER_02: Oh, fuck off!
33:02
SPEAKER_04: Axe and the.
33:03
SPEAKER_02: Have you ever had an original thought?
33:05
unknown: Yeah.
33:07
SPEAKER_03: It's ruining my face.
33:08
SPEAKER_03: I don't want to talk about this for too long because I really don't like death.
33:10
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna change it.
33:11
SPEAKER_03: But what the fuck with a with an axe?
33:14
SPEAKER_03: Is this what you do with I mean you can walk?
33:16
SPEAKER_03: I'm in the Hunger Games, baby.
33:17
SPEAKER_02: Oh, may the odds interview in your favour.
33:20
SPEAKER_03: My axe.
33:20
SPEAKER_03: You're like Gimli.
33:22
SPEAKER_03: I'd rather be Legolas than Gimli.
33:26
SPEAKER_03: What about eleven's?
33:30
SPEAKER_03: Um real quick, hobbit chat.
33:32
SPEAKER_03: When I was in when I when I was in Amsterdam, no, you'll enjoy this.
33:35
SPEAKER_03: I've not mentioned this.
33:36
SPEAKER_03: Everyone in in the Netherlands is so fucking tall, like so tall.
33:40
SPEAKER_03: Everyone's over six foot.
33:41
SPEAKER_03: I literally felt like a hobbit and it was awful.
33:44
SPEAKER_03: But the worst thing was when we're at the Hockey World Cup, they have all these temporary toilets and they have um at the end of every aisle, they then have sinks and mirrors.
33:51
SPEAKER_03: I could barely see the top of my head in the mirror.
33:53
SPEAKER_03: That's how tall everyone is.
33:56
SPEAKER_03: Do you know how sad that is?
33:59
SPEAKER_00: Rich would be fucked.
34:01
SPEAKER_03: Honestly, I was like, I was like jumping, like hello.
34:04
SPEAKER_03: Um wee Bob.
34:10
SPEAKER_02: Oh, how are you?
34:12
SPEAKER_02: What about natural, but really?
34:15
SPEAKER_02: I may just go on Halloween, sat somewhere on a cup of tea and absolutely cream crackered.
34:19
SPEAKER_03: Um anyway, um I'd be I'd be machine gun Kelly.
34:30
SPEAKER_03: You'd be cat you'd be catness.
34:32
SPEAKER_03: I'd be anxious as you like, but I'd have loads to reload.
34:38
SPEAKER_02: Um and if you could describe me with a song, what would it be?
34:46
SPEAKER_03: Fireball.
34:48
SPEAKER_03: Woo woo.
34:50
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
34:50
SPEAKER_03: You like that?
34:52
SPEAKER_03: We're ticking it, we're ticking it, we're ticking it.
34:53
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, fair.
34:54
SPEAKER_03: And then she's bringing it back.
34:57
SPEAKER_03: She's on a rum springer, ladies and gentlemen.
34:58
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, when you when you on a night out and then you have something that brings you back up, you're bringing it back.
35:02
SPEAKER_02: Um yours would be training season.
35:05
SPEAKER_02: Training season's over.
35:10
SPEAKER_03: Do you know why every time I listen to that song I do enjoy it?
35:12
SPEAKER_03: Yeah?
35:12
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
35:13
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
35:13
SPEAKER_03: It's a bang.
35:14
SPEAKER_02: And also because you don't want to date anyone and you have to train up.
35:16
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, fuck no.
35:17
SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
35:18
SPEAKER_02: If we had to describe Rich with a song You never close your eyes.
35:25
unknown: What is that?
35:28
SPEAKER_02: Do you not ever close your eyes?
35:30
SPEAKER_02: It's from Top Gun.
35:31
SPEAKER_04: That's because of one person.
35:33
SPEAKER_04: One person only.
35:35
SPEAKER_03: And it's because she said he looks like Tom Cruise.
35:37
SPEAKER_04: And I need to learn that song and sing it to her.
35:39
SPEAKER_03: I don't look at you and see Tom Cruise.
35:42
SPEAKER_02: Nah.
35:42
SPEAKER_03: I said the same.
35:43
SPEAKER_03: If I could describe you as one song, I was your theme song.
35:47
SPEAKER_03: I'd go, I'd go Mr.
35:49
SPEAKER_03: Blue Sky.
35:49
SPEAKER_03: Mr.
35:50
SPEAKER_03: Blue Sky, please tell us why sure you're You're always so cheery.
35:54
SPEAKER_03: You got positive vibes.
35:56
SPEAKER_03: It's really nice.
35:56
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
35:57
SPEAKER_03: Blue Sky makes me feel happy being around you.
35:59
SPEAKER_03: Good vibes.
36:00
SPEAKER_03: Good vibes, good vibes.
36:02
SPEAKER_02: One quote that I've had in the last couple of weeks, which has sent me West.
36:06
SPEAKER_02: Before we move on to this or that.
36:09
SPEAKER_02: One of our people, someone we know.
36:12
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
36:12
SPEAKER_02: I was talking about to Alipa's husband.
36:16
SPEAKER_02: Um, and we were talking about the fact that we thought he looked a bit like an elf.
36:20
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I see that.
36:21
SPEAKER_03: And we were asked him in Lord of the Rings, yeah.
36:24
SPEAKER_02: She goes, She goes, yeah, he does look like an elf, but you know I don't have a problem with elves.
36:28
SPEAKER_02: I wouldn't kick him out of bed.
36:32
SPEAKER_03: Sorry.
36:34
SPEAKER_03: It's like sorry.
36:35
SPEAKER_03: How many elves have you slept with?
36:37
SPEAKER_03: This is not my first rodeo.
36:39
SPEAKER_03: This is not my first elf.
36:40
SPEAKER_00: You know I don't have a problem with elves.
36:42
SPEAKER_00: In a sinister voice.
36:44
SPEAKER_03: Isn't he dubbed to be the next James Bond?
36:47
SPEAKER_03: Oh fuck on.
36:48
SPEAKER_03: Along with um, what's the fit guy from Emily in Paris who was in like season one?
36:53
SPEAKER_03: Seen Emily in Paris?
36:55
SPEAKER_03: Alfie.
36:56
SPEAKER_03: No.
36:57
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, no, hang on, I get my TV shows.
36:58
SPEAKER_03: Chef.
36:59
SPEAKER_03: No, I get my TV shows wrong.
37:01
SPEAKER_03: Um Bridget.
37:03
SPEAKER_03: The guy who's in Bridgeton.
37:04
SPEAKER_03: Oh, really?
37:05
SPEAKER_03: Season one.
37:05
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
37:06
SPEAKER_03: Jean Paul, wherever his fucking name is.
37:08
SPEAKER_03: Oh.
37:08
SPEAKER_03: I feel like give us him as Bond.
37:11
SPEAKER_02: That man is incredible.
37:13
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
37:14
SPEAKER_02: That's all I've got to say.
37:17
SPEAKER_02: Unreal.
37:18
SPEAKER_04: Which says a lot coming from a lesbian.
37:20
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he's absolutely fucking phenomenal.
37:22
SPEAKER_02: She's diverse, I think.
37:23
SPEAKER_02: I'd burn for him too, Christ.
37:26
SPEAKER_02: Um anyways.
37:28
SPEAKER_02: Moving on to this area.
37:31
SPEAKER_03: You would like to go first?
37:32
SPEAKER_03: I can go first, yeah.
37:33
SPEAKER_03: Go on.
37:34
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
37:34
SPEAKER_03: Uh would you rather accidentally send a risky text to your boss or your dad?
37:39
SPEAKER_03: My boss.
37:40
SPEAKER_03: Would you rather have to lick a public handrail or drink a stranger's leftover drink at a bar?
37:45
SPEAKER_02: Stranger's leftover drink?
37:46
SPEAKER_03: Drug me.
37:49
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
37:51
SPEAKER_03: Would you rather have to sneeze in slow motion every time, complete with sound effects, or hick up the alphabet whenever you're nervous?
37:58
SPEAKER_02: Sneeze in slow motion, because I look like a church mouse anyway.
38:02
SPEAKER_02: More cute.
38:04
SPEAKER_03: Would you rather sneeze every time that you laugh or burp every time you say someone's name?
38:09
SPEAKER_03: Sneeze every time I laugh.
38:11
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
38:12
SPEAKER_03: Would you rather your partner forget your birthday or show up to it a day late?
38:18
SPEAKER_02: A day late.
38:19
unknown: Yeah?
38:20
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
38:21
SPEAKER_03: Yeah now.
38:21
SPEAKER_03: I would hate if someone forgot.
38:22
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
38:23
SPEAKER_03: At least remember, just be delayed.
38:24
SPEAKER_03: You'd still get it in the fucking neck.
38:26
SPEAKER_03: Oh, for sure.
38:27
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
38:27
SPEAKER_03: Would you rather have a partner who overshares with their friends or one who tells them nothing?
38:32
SPEAKER_02: Overshares, I couldn't give a fuck.
38:34
unknown: Yeah.
38:35
SPEAKER_03: Would you rather have unlimited money but no free time?
38:37
SPEAKER_03: Or unlimited free time but no money?
38:40
SPEAKER_03: Unlimited money.
38:42
SPEAKER_03: Would you?
38:43
SPEAKER_03: I feel like if you had unlimited free time, you could find a way to make money.
38:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, good point.
38:47
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
38:47
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
38:49
SPEAKER_02: Right.
38:49
SPEAKER_02: Would you rather smell like a chip shop permanently?
38:54
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
38:55
SPEAKER_03: Best thing is I put these together, I don't read them.
39:00
SPEAKER_02: Or have your voice replaced with a dial up internet sound.
39:03
SPEAKER_02: Oh god.
39:04
SPEAKER_02: Oh fuck.
39:05
SPEAKER_02: Sm smell like a chippy.
39:06
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you can.
39:06
SPEAKER_03: Remember the old every time you connect to the internet back in the uh AOL days.
39:12
SPEAKER_02: Would you rather wear the same underwear for a week or the same socks for two weeks?
39:17
SPEAKER_02: Socks.
39:17
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you can see it.
39:18
SPEAKER_02: Like take them off.
39:19
SPEAKER_03: Nice hack.
39:20
SPEAKER_02: There's my loophole.
39:22
SPEAKER_02: Would you rather date someone who's always on their phone or someone who never checks it at all?
39:27
SPEAKER_02: Never checks it.
39:29
SPEAKER_02: At all.
39:29
SPEAKER_02: At all.
39:30
SPEAKER_02: That means they can't reply to you.
39:31
SPEAKER_02: They're never checks it.
39:32
SPEAKER_03: That's fine, because when I see them, they'll speak to me.
39:34
SPEAKER_02: Would you rather eat a meal that looks disgusting but tastes amazing or one that looks incredible but tastes awful?
39:41
SPEAKER_02: Um tastes amazing.
39:43
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
39:44
SPEAKER_02: I just shut my eyes.
39:45
SPEAKER_02: I close my eyes.
39:47
SPEAKER_02: Would you rather your partner's ex be their best friend or their co-worker?
39:57
SPEAKER_02: Co-worker, co-worker.
39:58
SPEAKER_03: Co-worker.
40:02
SPEAKER_02: Would you rather have someone else pick your nose for you every day or clip your toenails in public once a month?
40:11
SPEAKER_03: Toenails, toenails, toenails.
40:15
SPEAKER_02: Would you rather have the ability to pause time but age normally?
40:21
SPEAKER_02: Or never age but live at normal speed?
40:24
SPEAKER_01: Never age.
40:25
SPEAKER_01: Never age.
40:26
SPEAKER_01: Never age.
40:28
SPEAKER_02: And last one.
40:29
SPEAKER_02: Would you rather be able to talk to animals or speak every human language fluently?
40:35
SPEAKER_02: Talk to animals.
40:36
SPEAKER_03: Talk to animals, yeah.
40:38
SPEAKER_03: Call me Eliza Thornbury.
40:39
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
40:40
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
40:41
SPEAKER_02: Um so moving on to random thoughts.
40:46
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
40:46
SPEAKER_02: What have you got for me?
40:47
SPEAKER_02: What have you got for me this week?
40:49
SPEAKER_02: It's not Henry VIII on a stagdo or anything like that.
40:51
SPEAKER_02: For fuck's sake.
40:52
SPEAKER_02: Just strep in.
40:54
SPEAKER_02: Um so somewhere out there, there's a person who remembers you from a completely random moment in their life, and you have absolutely no idea who they are.
41:06
SPEAKER_02: Think about it for a second.
41:08
SPEAKER_03: That's weird, or what the moment is.
41:09
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
41:10
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
41:10
SPEAKER_03: Maybe it was the man at the services the other week when I was trying to pee.
41:14
SPEAKER_03: And he was trying to let his dog say hello to your dog.
41:17
SPEAKER_03: And that girl just dropped travel out of piss behind a tree.
41:19
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I did.
41:20
SPEAKER_02: Do you know what I mean?
41:21
SPEAKER_02: Somewhere someone out there, whether they've looked at your outfit or whether you've like, I don't know, got toilet tissue on your fucking shoe or something.
41:27
SPEAKER_03: Someone pull your ass out at the fox.
41:30
SPEAKER_03: Someone's remembering you.
41:31
SPEAKER_02: So yeah, someone's remembering me falling at Jam's birthday that probably doesn't know me from Adam, other than my friends.
41:39
SPEAKER_02: Like someone out there saw me, you know.
41:42
SPEAKER_03: That girl dressed up as Christine Aguilera, that one Halloween.
41:45
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and they're like, where is she now?
41:47
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'll tell you where.
41:50
SPEAKER_02: Um years and years ago, someone's probably seen me be sick in public.
41:55
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, what's happening?
41:58
SPEAKER_02: That's true.
41:59
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
42:00
SPEAKER_02: Someone in Valda's air definitely witnessed me be sick on Christmas Eve into a pile of snow.
42:06
SPEAKER_02: I wonder what their memories are.
42:07
SPEAKER_02: You know, I wonder what where is she now?
42:09
SPEAKER_03: Did she have the AIDS?
42:11
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, did she?
42:12
SPEAKER_02: We need to know.
42:13
SPEAKER_02: There's a billboard on the way as you drive in the Alps.
42:16
SPEAKER_02: Did this girl have AIDS?
42:18
SPEAKER_02: Nobody knows.
42:19
SPEAKER_03: Not AIDS, the AIDS.
42:21
SPEAKER_02: Cedar in French.
42:25
SPEAKER_02: Um, do you have any random thoughts for me?
42:27
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I want to know from both of you what's your karaoke song?
42:33
SPEAKER_02: Oh, so I have two.
42:35
SPEAKER_02: Strong?
42:36
SPEAKER_02: I've got multiple.
42:37
SPEAKER_02: Let's hear it.
42:38
SPEAKER_02: My boy Simon, who Simon Webb?
42:42
SPEAKER_02: No, my boy Simon, who used to do karaoke with me all the time.
42:46
SPEAKER_02: Shakespeare Simon.
42:47
SPEAKER_02: Nesquit Chlamydia Simon.
42:49
SPEAKER_02: No, not that Simon.
42:50
SPEAKER_01: There's another one.
42:52
SPEAKER_02: Uh, he owns and runs Clubhouse, House Gym in Encham.
42:58
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
42:58
SPEAKER_02: And I don't go to the wagon and horses anymore to drink because Maggie's gone back to New Zealand, so I don't go over that way.
43:03
SPEAKER_02: But Simon always used to come and do It's a Whole New World with me.
43:08
SPEAKER_02: Oh.
43:08
SPEAKER_02: He was my Aladdin.
43:09
unknown: Oh.
43:10
SPEAKER_02: And I was Jasmine.
43:11
SPEAKER_02: I'll be your Aladdin.
43:12
SPEAKER_02: All the time.
43:13
SPEAKER_02: That's so good.
43:13
SPEAKER_02: You've done it with me before on a car journey.
43:16
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I sing both parts.
43:17
SPEAKER_03: But he was always my Aladdin.
43:19
SPEAKER_02: Shout out, Simon.
43:19
SPEAKER_02: I miss you.
43:21
SPEAKER_03: I'd be your Aladdin.
43:22
SPEAKER_03: Um, other than that, Valerie.
43:23
SPEAKER_03: You can see my rug.
43:29
SPEAKER_03: Come on, Rich.
43:30
SPEAKER_03: That was good.
43:31
SPEAKER_04: Sorry.
43:32
SPEAKER_02: Crickets.
43:33
SPEAKER_04: Tumbleweeds.
43:34
SPEAKER_04: No, no, you're fuck you, bitch.
43:35
SPEAKER_04: I'm struggling to think of mine.
43:37
SPEAKER_04: Oh, okay.
43:37
SPEAKER_02: You're thinking that it would be Valerie.
43:39
SPEAKER_02: Valerie.
43:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's a banger.
43:41
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
43:41
SPEAKER_02: All back to black.
43:42
SPEAKER_02: Yours would be.
43:45
SPEAKER_04: Go on.
43:45
SPEAKER_04: Think of a gay song.
43:49
SPEAKER_01: Wanna take it to a gay bar!
43:51
SPEAKER_03: Gay bar! Gay bar.
43:53
SPEAKER_04: I genuinely.
43:54
SPEAKER_03: Rich is straight for the record.
43:55
SPEAKER_03: I'm just saying love, Shaq.
44:00
SPEAKER_03: He's there, public trust.
44:03
SPEAKER_02: Bass hunter.
44:05
SPEAKER_03: Honestly, bass hunter's got bangers.
44:07
SPEAKER_02: Queer.
44:07
SPEAKER_03: Side note, can we discuss how fit the girl is in the bass hunter music videos?
44:10
SPEAKER_02: Can we also talk about the Where is she now?
44:12
SPEAKER_02: That he was a sex addict.
44:16
SPEAKER_02: Oh, really?
44:17
SPEAKER_04: That's not.
44:18
SPEAKER_04: Maybe he needs someone.
44:19
SPEAKER_02: Oh no, do you know what Rich is giving?
44:20
SPEAKER_02: Scooter.
44:22
SPEAKER_02: Are you ready?
44:28
SPEAKER_03: Come on.
44:29
SPEAKER_04: I need to find it, I don't know.
44:30
SPEAKER_04: Right.
44:31
SPEAKER_04: Genuinely was trying to work out your side.
44:33
SPEAKER_03: Let me give you some time where I tell you a little story.
44:34
SPEAKER_03: So a couple of years ago, I was in Paris.
44:36
SPEAKER_03: Ah yeah.
44:36
SPEAKER_03: I was in a karaoke bar.
44:37
SPEAKER_03: Enchanted.
44:38
SPEAKER_03: Of course I was.
44:38
SPEAKER_03: I had a couple of bevs, I was in a karaoke bar, and um there were two songs I sang that went off.
44:44
SPEAKER_03: Bear in mind you've got people so diverse in there, people from all over the world.
44:48
SPEAKER_03: The first song that went off was Give Me Everything by Pitbull.
44:52
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, go on.
44:53
SPEAKER_03: Got the party started.
44:54
SPEAKER_03: The other one that went off, thanks to my boy Glenn Powell, go on, was um unwritten by Natasha Beddingfield.
45:04
SPEAKER_03: Oh because that obviously boomed, didn't it?
45:06
SPEAKER_03: Because of the I always forget the name.
45:08
SPEAKER_03: What's the name of the film?
45:08
SPEAKER_03: We forget everything.
45:09
SPEAKER_03: Anyone but you.
45:10
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
45:11
SPEAKER_03: Because of your buddy Glenn.
45:12
unknown: Yeah.
45:14
SPEAKER_03: Sorry, Charles.
45:15
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, no, I'm not sorry.
45:17
SPEAKER_03: Um yeah, that that popped off.
45:19
SPEAKER_03: But my original karaoke song was Punk Rocker by Sandy Tom.
45:23
SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah.
45:24
SPEAKER_03: That's a banger.
45:25
unknown: Yeah.
45:26
SPEAKER_02: I I would I would go with that.
45:27
SPEAKER_02: I would argue that.
45:27
SPEAKER_03: But I will sing anything.
45:28
SPEAKER_03: I've also been known to sing Halo Bobby Oncey.
45:31
SPEAKER_03: I've got to be in the right vocal space for that.
45:34
SPEAKER_03: But yeah.
45:35
SPEAKER_03: I'll give anything to go.
45:36
SPEAKER_03: Rich, what are you saying?
45:37
SPEAKER_04: I'm around Richard Ashcroft, something like that.
45:40
SPEAKER_04: One of his songs.
45:41
SPEAKER_03: Or be what a little respect.
45:45
SPEAKER_03: Is that Erasure?
45:47
SPEAKER_04: He's uh Oh!
45:48
SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
45:48
SPEAKER_03: God, I feel like an idiot.
45:49
SPEAKER_03: God, Choice would punch me for that.
45:50
SPEAKER_03: He's like music knowledge mad.
45:52
SPEAKER_03: Um there's a music video of him walking down the street.
45:55
SPEAKER_04: Yes.
45:55
SPEAKER_03: With loads of rain.
45:56
SPEAKER_03: You know what I'm talking about.
45:57
SPEAKER_04: What song is that?
45:58
SPEAKER_04: Uh past, but some of his stuff.
46:03
SPEAKER_02: What do you mean we're not saying Bradley Cooper and Lady Gargar are the shallows?
46:07
SPEAKER_03: Oh, that's a banger.
46:08
SPEAKER_03: I'd be your Bradley for that if you want.
46:09
unknown: Yeah, go on.
46:10
SPEAKER_03: I could be your Garga, whatever.
46:11
SPEAKER_02: I'm off the D Pans.
46:13
SPEAKER_02: Watch his eye diving.
46:15
SPEAKER_02: Muff diving.
46:17
SPEAKER_02: Lips sinking.
46:20
SPEAKER_02: Is that it?
46:21
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that's what I've got.
46:22
SPEAKER_04: I need to narrow it down genuinely the next time.
46:24
SPEAKER_03: Drugs don't work.
46:25
SPEAKER_03: Is that him?
46:26
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, drugs don't work.
46:26
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
46:29
SPEAKER_03: Oh god.
46:30
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, depressing.
46:32
SPEAKER_03: Not that song.
46:33
SPEAKER_04: I mean, you could go for a classic, like um Backshoop Boys.
46:35
SPEAKER_04: I want it that way.
46:36
SPEAKER_04: That's very boring.
46:37
SPEAKER_03: You are my fire, my one desire.
46:40
SPEAKER_03: Oh, have you seen the clip from Magic Mike 2 when um the guy who's the firefighter goes into the petrol station?
46:47
SPEAKER_03: The whole thing is he's like trying to rediscover.
46:49
SPEAKER_03: Anyone that's watched this will be like, yes! He's like trying to rediscover who he is as a stripper.
46:54
SPEAKER_03: And so the the the tricky I'll tell you who he is.
46:58
SPEAKER_03: He's gonna they're on the way to this stripping convention in Florida, I think it's in Miami or something.
47:02
SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah.
47:03
SPEAKER_03: And they were like, right, the girl behind the counter in this gas station looks miserable as since.
47:06
SPEAKER_03: They're like, You've got to go in, and the the aim of the game is you've got to make her laugh.
47:10
SPEAKER_03: So he like walks in, starts like pelvic thrusting against the fridge.
47:13
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, pour anyway, throughout the song, pours loads of water over him, pours loads of Cheetos over him at the end, he puts it on the bar and he goes, How much of the Cheetos in water?
47:21
SPEAKER_03: And then she smiles.
47:22
SPEAKER_03: And but it's all to I want it that way by the backstreet boys.
47:24
SPEAKER_03: So now, whenever you hear that song, just think about a great big hunting.
47:29
SPEAKER_03: I feel like we should reenact that uh with wet t-shirt and a petrol station.
47:34
SPEAKER_03: I'll do it.
47:35
SPEAKER_03: Okay, of course you will.
47:36
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, you've got to link this in stories.
47:38
SPEAKER_03: I'll wear my asses, chaps.
47:40
SPEAKER_03: Strong.
47:40
SPEAKER_03: Um sorry, sorry, BP, in advance.
47:43
SPEAKER_03: No, I got some good news for you first.
47:45
SPEAKER_03: Oh, I want to fuck off before the good news.
47:47
SPEAKER_03: Hey! Right, I want energy.
47:49
SPEAKER_03: I want hype.
47:50
SPEAKER_03: I would like some woohey after everyone.
47:53
SPEAKER_03: You got this?
47:54
SPEAKER_03: Woohoo.
47:54
SPEAKER_05: We're headed.
47:54
SPEAKER_03: Let everyone go away on a positive note.
47:56
SPEAKER_03: Gone then.
47:57
SPEAKER_03: Are you ready?
47:58
SPEAKER_03: Scoot off.
48:01
SPEAKER_03: This episode is chaotic.
48:05
SPEAKER_03: Okay, here we go.
48:06
SPEAKER_03: For the second year in a row, zero rhinos have been poached in India.
48:10
SPEAKER_03: Woohoo! Woo! The Maldives has become the first country to ban tobacco for anyone born after the 1st of January 2007.
48:16
SPEAKER_03: Halfway.
48:17
SPEAKER_03: Whoa! Australia is on track to become the first nation in the world to eliminate cervical cancer by 2035.
48:24
SPEAKER_03: Plug for getting your smear test done.
48:26
SPEAKER_03: Whoa! Costa Rica is set to be powered solely by renewable energy.
48:32
SPEAKER_03: Woo! And in Switzerland, a new spinal implant is helping paralyzed patients walk naturally again.
48:39
SPEAKER_03: Woo!
48:40
SPEAKER_02: Get your kids out.
48:41
SPEAKER_02: Go on.
48:42
SPEAKER_02: Well done, I'm proud of you.
48:43
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
48:43
SPEAKER_02: Great.
48:44
SPEAKER_02: Some real tidy vibes there.
48:46
SPEAKER_02: And now we're gonna fuck off for the week, ladies and gents.
48:49
SPEAKER_02: This episode has been complete chaos.
48:50
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna go get on a flight.
48:52
SPEAKER_03: Yee ha, cheery bye.
48:54
SPEAKER_03: Off to the bush, I go.
48:55
SPEAKER_03: I can't wait to have some fucking rest.
48:57
SPEAKER_03: Get fucked.
48:58
SPEAKER_03: Here comes your holiday from me.
49:02
SPEAKER_02: Until next Friday.
49:04
SPEAKER_02: Stay tuned.
49:05
SPEAKER_02: Stay toxic.