Latest / The Living Waters Podcast / Ep. 216 - How to Be a Godly Gentleman

Transcript

Ep. 216 - How to Be a Godly Gentleman · The Living Waters Podcast

• 1:05
  Speaker 1: And I think that being a gentleman is a virtue, right, it's like a trait, a disposition from men to women and if you think about what is the cultural narrative right now, it's an overemphasis that men and women there should be less and less of a distinguishing difference between the two.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: And when you say that there is no longer a distinguishing difference, then you remove the opportunity to be a virtuous man towards women.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: Why should I open the door if a woman should be treated no different?
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: Why should I walk on the side of the street and put her on the inside to keep her safe?
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: Why should I make sure that they are cared for, that they get their food first, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: When you remove that narrative that we are created as men to care for, to admire, to hold up and esteem women in our lives, then all of a sudden you lose the virtue of being a gentleman, and I think that's what's happening in society today.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the Living Waters.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: Did you or did you not Ray Comfort segment where we ask Ray Comfort if he did or he did not.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: I've been waiting to hear this.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: Ray Comfort.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: What happened?
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: Did you or did you not once sleep in your hotel room bathtub when traveling for the street.
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: How did you remember that?
• 2:35
  Speaker 4: I remember everything about you.
• 2:37
  Speaker 4: I threw all the stuff from my bed into the bathtub of the bathroom Because the guy told me they snored like a train.
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: Wait a minute.
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: I've traveled with you for years.
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah, no, no, it wasn't you no this is a guy named Ken, really nice guy, but he it was not.
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: You know, this is a snore, his was.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: It was one of those.
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: It was driving me crazy.
• 2:59
  Speaker 4: The only way to get away from the bathtub.
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: Woke up terrible night.
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: I had to preach the next day.
• 3:03
  Speaker 4: Ray, hold on, hold on, stop.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: So you've told this story before, but I must investigate Like you actually literally slept in the bathtub.
• 3:14
  Speaker 4: It's common sense.
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: Maybe that's why the hole in your bed is so comfortable.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what led to the launch of it.
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: I think I fit.
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: Oh wait, never mind, you know it was sideways.
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: No, I just threw the bed close, from the bed into the tub.
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: It was a good sleep.
• 3:28
  Speaker 4: I just kept the tap turned off.
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: He probably had a great night's sleep.
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah, no that's what I was gonna say.
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: I get up in the morning just feeling terrible, got to preach and Ken says great sleep.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: He's had a great night's sleep.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: It was just awful.
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: Oh seriously, ray.
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: And I couldn't mention anything too.
• 3:43
  Speaker 4: I'm all the neighbors knew about it for sure.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: Surprised you didn't like make that a new habit of your life.
• 3:49
  Speaker 4: And bath tubs are the best for sleep.
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: Actually, it's pretty safe, isn't it?
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: You can toss and turn without falling out of the bed.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: Look, he's actually considering it now, sleepy through a hurricane.
• 3:58
  Speaker 4: And also, if you want to drink in the night, you just leave that cup in your pillow.
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: A hot cold coffee or no coffee.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you wake up in the morning.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: You don't even have to leave the bathtub, just shower.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: And just go for your day.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: You're onto something here.
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: And you can wash your clothes too.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: Oh no, I feel a new book coming on.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: The next time we go to his house, he's going to replace his bed with a bathtub.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Now, OK, let's take a survey here.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: I know you snore, right?
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: You guys snore, Mark and Oscar.
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: My wife says I do, my kids.
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: And my neighbors say I do, and the people?
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: in the states say I do?
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I do a little bit, but not as much as my wife.
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: Oh, mark, don't say that on a podcast, please, here by.
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: Mark.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: No, she's actually great, I see, she's great, I see.
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: Conscious smitten by conscience.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: Bring us a recording of Laura's story.
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: My father was a terrible snorer.
• 4:50
  Speaker 4: You mean, you didn't get it good, it was just an incompetent snorer.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: It was a semi-snore.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: Take classes to improve your snoring skills.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: Oscar, you snore, I don't snore no.
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: No, come on, that's hard.
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: Every man will claim his own goodness.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: No, every now and then, when I'm really tired, I will snore, but all she needs to do is butt me in again.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: So you do snore, but not regularly.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: I'm not a snorer Self-righteous.
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: Oh, come on.
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: How many wives do you talk to in the middle?
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: Kelly's just probably a nice wife.
• 5:21
  Speaker 4: That's all the horrible thing about snoring is the road tunnel Mouth is open, it's horrible I have been getting.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: As you guys know, I have the gift of sleeping on airplanes.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: Tray loads, mark, you can't sleep very well either.
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: It's essentially a jealous I can't if I get laid down on the plane.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: But, I just have the gift, I don't know what it is.
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: I've traveled so much.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: I can just sit in my chair and just fall asleep.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: But, I've become self-conscious now because I know I have snored Because my wife's traveled with me and she's had to wake me up.
• 5:51
  Speaker 4: Yeah, the 747 engines couldn't be heard, but it is.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: I mean it's embarrassing because I know my mouth will be propped open and, of course, people next to me and hearing me snore.
• 6:03
  Speaker 4: Yeah, your wife put the whole meal in your mouth while you were asleep.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: That's why I woke up full.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: No, but lately a couple of times, because that's maybe it's God's mercy that we can't hear ourselves snore.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: I'm sure there are men that probably vow they themselves up?
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: No, they vow, they've never snored.
• 6:19
  Speaker 4: That's Oscar, if you ever, if you're working yourself up snoring.
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: Well, that's what I was going to say.
• 6:25
  Speaker 4: It's the snore, the one snore.
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: Recently a couple of times I've heard like a nanosecond of like and it's like oh, I must have been snoring.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: No, but like where I wake up, but I must have been snoring.
• 6:38
  Speaker 4: You hear the last one.
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: It's like bouncing off the roof.
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: I have sleep apnea.
• 6:42
  Speaker 4: I have that too.
• 6:43
  Speaker 4: It's quite fun when you feel as though you're going to die.
• 6:45
  Speaker 4: Just forget to sleep.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: Can I just say your poor wife easy between your night terrors and your sleep snoring.
• 6:52
  Speaker 4: Hang on the sleep apnea which you just glossed over.
• 6:54
  Speaker 4: Sleep apnea is horrific.
• 6:57
  Speaker 4: I figured out how to stop it.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: No, not another bug.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: I dug a hole in my pillow.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: Sleep apnea Ray.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: Just delete it off your phone.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: Sleep apnea.
• 7:09
  Speaker 4: It sounds like something Darwin thought of.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: Rachel filmed me one time and I went, I think.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: I think it was like over a minute without breathing.
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: Couldn't be that long.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: I think so, yeah, you were having a dream about swimming.
• 7:25
  Speaker 4: No, you just don't.
• 7:25
  Speaker 4: You stop breathing just before you got to sleep.
• 7:27
  Speaker 4: I do it all the time.
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: It's very common, the skin in the back of your throat or something it just like I don't know.
• 7:32
  Speaker 4: Well, I put one of those plastic mouth guards and it fixed it Well.
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: I use one, but it doesn't.
• 7:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but is it eight inches like?
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: mine.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: Wait, did it really fix it?
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: It really did.
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: Where'd you get the night guard?
• 7:43
  Speaker 4: I don't know, from the night store, I don't know the night guard store yeah.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: I didn't know.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: He's got a night guard guy.
• 7:50
  Speaker 4: You don't know you, just look on Amazon.
• 7:53
  Speaker 4: Or a plastic mouth guard.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: Does it move your chin forward?
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah it changes.
• 7:57
  Speaker 4: Well, in my mouth it does, your mouth it wouldn't do a thing.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: I have one you could borrow.
• 8:03
  Speaker 4: I want one from the garage sale.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: I want one from the secondhand store From the garage sale night guard with your denture, yeah, so anyway, yeah, weird things happen in the night.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: For you.
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: Weird things happen in the night.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: There's a book title Wait, did I ever share this story about?
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: Yes, we're talking about it I remember that one?
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: I'm sick of it.
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: No, it's Game Changer.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: The one with Luke, when Rachel was, when Luke was a newborn baby.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: Oh, I got a shit.
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: You snowed basketball.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, good, I did.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure I can't remember if I was on the podcast.
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: Do it again.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: No, no, I'll skip it, that's great.
• 8:36
  Speaker 4: Now you made it worse.
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: No, you guys know, you think I've shared it.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: Give us clues.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: I don't know if it's been on the podcast or not.
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: There's listeners who want to know, just do it.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: So Rachel, luke was a newborn baby and she was nursing him in bed and, uh, all of a sudden I get into one of my night terror modes.
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: But you have to understand that this was not a hypothetical, this was not.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: I think this was not, maybe In my mind.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: Rachel fell asleep on our newborn baby, suffocated him and my son, my firstborn son, luke, is dead.
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: There was no, it wasn't like this was a reality, because my brain's telling me I'm awake and I just discovered this, so probably like two in the morning, at the top of my lungs, ah, ah, ah, ah, three times, like at the time.
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: So what did that lead to Rachel?
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: Ah, and what did that lead to Luke?
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: ah, all three of us, the poor neighbors screaming at the top of our lungs in the middle of the night.
• 9:43
  Speaker 4: Is the Euro-psychologist's dream.
• 9:45
  Speaker 4: Seriously, they would love to hit you on the couch and say I want to get into this break.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: I could still feel like the trauma from that right now.
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: And so Rachel gets up, get crazy.
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: She runs out of the room holding Luke.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: I mean, if this girl knew what she was getting when she signed up to marry me.
• 10:04
  Speaker 4: I had a clue.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: Get rid of that air of right now.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so anyway, lots of problems.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: I think the most impressive thing about you easy is that you're not in an insane sign of love yet.
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: I know that's the miracle of it all.
• 10:18
  Speaker 4: That emptied out if you got it.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: It would All right, friends, just comment.
• 10:24
  Speaker 4: Were you going to give attribution for the friends?
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: Friends.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, well, you know, years ago there was a guy named Warren Duffy.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: He was on the radio station out here.
• 10:32
  Speaker 4: What's the name of his program?
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: Duffy in the Night.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: Duffy and Friends.
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: Duffy and Friends.
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: That's not Duffy in the Night, yeah.
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: And Duffy in the Night and Ray.
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: You went on with him a few times.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: I went with you to his studios but he was on.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: It was one of the most popular shows, but he would always say, all right, friends.
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: So that kind of influenced him and he's the one that said you know, friends, if you see a cop, a traffic officer next to you, say I'm praying for you.
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: With your finger-licking gun, yeah, anyway.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: So I think it somehow got into my mind, but it's mine now.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: Friends, here we have a comment from Uh Oscar.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: You sent me who it's from.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: Can you look it up?
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: So I remembered and mentioned at the end I never fully understood how to live for Christ until I started listening to you guys.
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: The newfound passion and worshipful fear I have for the Lord is something I never thought I'd experience.
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: You guys hold me accountable in every aspect and I've never I've never even met you.
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: I've shared you guys with everyone I know and then some, and you've helped me become less fearful of sharing Christ and with the world.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: At the moment I'm working on finding where God wants me and while it's definitely a long, scary process, it's fulfilling.
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: I just want you guys to know I'm praying for you and your podcast and the lives you're changing as well.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: Also easy.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: You need to stop talking about food on the podcast.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: It makes work difficult.
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: And that is from Lena.
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: Thank you, lena.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: Hamburgers, hot dogs no, not hot dogs, wienerspitzel Ah, in fact, you know, mark ruined a perfectly wonderful conversation.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: Last night we had at this great event.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: We showed our movie what Is it?
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: At a wonderful church and it was great.
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: We're talking and next thing I hear I want what you like, sir.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: Oh, sorry, easy.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: One second, ah two chili cheese, did you?
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: really order two chili cheese.
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah we were at an event last night and I was on the way home and I was driving by a Wienerspitzel and I went.
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: I got everybody's got time for two chili cheese dogs.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: That's my motto, you pulled in.
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: So I pulled in and it was like the most ghetto of ghetto areas.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: Burgerspider Dogs were still good, though, huh.
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: It was amazing the buns were.
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: It was a mess and it tasted so great.
• 12:43
  Speaker 4: Yes, it tasted great.
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: But I pulled off to the side and my wife calls me up and she's all where are you?
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: Because she follows me on like 360.
• 12:51
  Speaker 4: My wife does that too.
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: Where are you?
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: She's well, it's easy to just look over your head and we're looking for you.
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: I'm there and I'm eating these chili cheese dogs.
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: I turned the light off in some of my car and I'm just looking in the mirrors everywhere waiting to get jumped.
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: It was like the worst neighborhood imaginable.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: It would have been nice, Actually, if you got jumped.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: It would have been good because you would have associated the Wienerspitzel with getting jumped and you would have never eaten it again.
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: So this is a lesson to those that write in and request something special Please don't talk about food and straight away.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: We all talk about food.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah well, but she's, she's like I'm actually hungry.
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: Can Wienerspitzel send us some gift cards In and out and Wienerspitzel send us gift?
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: cards.
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: Enough of this.
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: All right, friends, and don't forget the Living Waters mug, where you don't have to put any chili cheese fries whatever.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: What are they?
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: Cheese dogs in it.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: The evidence, study Bible, all at livingwaterscom.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: Side note I went on a hunting trip with an executive for In and Out and I told him about how many In and Out gift cards you give out and he was so excited.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: He was like I'm going to go back and tell everybody at the office because he just thought it was the coolest thing ever.
• 13:55
  Speaker 4: Wow 19,000 in the last few years.
• 13:59
  Speaker 4: No, in the last few years.
• 14:00
  Speaker 4: Not yesterday, yes, last month I asked yeah, no, not last month.
• 14:04
  Speaker 4: I asked them to say how many have I got from you?
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: 19,000.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: I'm going to test right now that is crazy, right, all right, friends.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we did the.
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: Oh okay, yeah, and now we just have the topic again how to be a godly gentleman.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: I like that word, godly, gentlemen, gentlemen, totally disassociated from you three, but it is a real word that carries with it a lot of connotations.
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: But I must say at the outset that gentlemanly conduct has almost become a thing of the past.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: I can't tell you guys how much it grieves me to see how many young men are seriously, like totally clueless to what it means to be a gentleman.
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: Right, convert, if a woman walked into the studio now.
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: Would you stand up or just sit there?
• 15:00
  Speaker 4: I?
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: think it would be proper etiquette If it was my wife.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: I would jump after her.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: Proper etiquette would be to stand up for women and men, especially when greeting people.
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: And we're going to talk about different points.
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: Well, I hate to do that.
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: You have to.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: You have no choice.
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: Oh, to stand.
• 15:21
  Speaker 4: He wouldn't see me.
• 15:22
  Speaker 4: I can't see you.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: But, guys, let's just start here.
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: That's a good place to start.
• 15:31
  Speaker 4: I was thinking of moving to Kansas.
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: Good place to be, but, yeah, gentlemanly conduct.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: Now let me say as well that of course, there are cultural elements that no question dictate some of these things, and we'll talk about it in the next podcast we're going to do, because we're going to talk about something that sort of was within this realm as well.
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: You're not going to say that it's etiquette.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: There it goes on etiquette that's the next podcast.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: But yeah, so there are things that are cultural, no question, but this all ties into our witness as believers, and I think there are some things, of course, that cross over into biblical principles.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: But why do you guys think this is so lacking?
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: Is it because culture is changing and maybe I'm just looking at it and saying, oh well, you know, these things are things we should keep, because that's what I know and I'm familiar with, and you guys as well or or, or and or.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: It doesn't have to be just.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: You know that it's one or the other, but but does it also include parents no longer proactively training their kids in these things where we've just become looser?
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: Boy, I have the same question.
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: Easy, I mean, I could be.
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: I'm utterly confused because when you become a Christian, everything changes you.
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: You want to esteem the people around you more than yourselves.
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: You want to open up doors.
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: You want to prefer other people.
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: It's just the way of Christianity.
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: So when I hear the word gentlemen, I also think of the word Christianity.
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: Hmm, they, they, they go hand in hand.
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: So I'm confused as well as to why this is lacking in today's society.
• 17:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah, well, it's because godliness is lacking in today's society.
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: Jesus was the ultimate consummate.
• 17:13
  Speaker 4: Gentlemen.
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: It just think of him with a woman, that the woman at the well, the gentleness, and and the woman caught in the act of adultery Lifting her up you know, ray, for years and years, when we would open our preach and someone would cuss, you would say there are women and children present.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: And well, I'm wondering if we should get into that one where you got beat up but my, my Tyson's, my Tyson's sister, that was my Tyson's.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: Tell the story, ray, really.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: I've told before on the public.
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: They're new listeners about 30 or 40 people at Santa Monica on Friday night and while I was preaching, a woman Called out the f-word, referring to me twice, and I said a madam, can you watch a language?
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: There are ladies present and that got her eye right.
• 18:02
  Speaker 4: She says I am a lady.
• 18:04
  Speaker 4: I said you may be a.
• 18:05
  Speaker 4: No, she said I'm a woman.
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: Am I blowing it?
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: I am a woman, I'm a lady.
• 18:09
  Speaker 4: I'm a lady.
• 18:10
  Speaker 4: And she said I'm a lady, so you may be a woman, but you're not a lady.
• 18:14
  Speaker 4: And with that she ran at me like a bat out of heaven and started to beat me up.
• 18:17
  Speaker 4: I think she got in six punches.
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: And the reason she got in some of your punches it's the team.
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: Let her go, because she says let me get my hand back.
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: And she got a good kidney punchin.
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: But that hurt right.
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: No, not really.
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: Until the next day.
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: I couldn't get out of bed the soreness what are you laughing at?
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: It's been.
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: You're trapped in your hole.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: I spent 20 minutes trying to call up the side.
• 18:40
  Speaker 4: That was before the days of the hole, but it made me empathize with Boxes.
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: You know, you see them in a ring doing 10 round of 10 rounds, hitting the face a hundred times and they're swollen up and you think, man, the next day they got to feel it.
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: Let's see adrenaline, right that kind of blocks the pain at the moment.
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so it didn't really hurt when she was punching me, but she was like Mike Tyson sister.
• 19:01
  Speaker 4: But yeah, I've used that a lot when someone castes.
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: So women and children present and sometimes people of their conscience hits them, I say yeah, I'm sorry now I'm wondering in this day and age, would that be considered offensive?
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: There are women and children like you're distinguishing women.
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: Okay, there are things in the crowd.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but what do you guys think, oscar?
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: What do you think you think it's?
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: It's the change of the culture.
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: Is it that parents aren't training their kids?
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: Is it both I?
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: think it's a cultural change.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: I'm about halfway through a book right now called after virtue and the author argues that throughout the process of the enlightenment into modern society that we've changed our historical name narrative, which is influencing our understandings of morals in Virtue and and I think that a gent being a gentleman is a virtue right, it's like a trait, a disposition from men to women and if you think about what is that, what is the cultural narrative right now?
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: It's an over emphasis, emphasis that men and women there should be less and less of a distinguishing Difference between two and when you say that there is a, there is no longer a distinguishing difference, then you remove the Opportunity to be a virtuous man towards women.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: Why should I open the door if it's not?
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: If a woman should be treated to be treated, no different, why should I walk on the side of the street and put her on the inside to keep her safe?
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: Why should I make sure that they are cared for, that they get their food first, etc.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: Etc.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: Etc.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: When you remove that narrative that we are created as men to care for, to admire, to Hold up in esteem women in our lives, then all of a sudden you lose the virtue of being a gentleman, and I think that's what's happening in society today.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: I'm so true, and and I think that it's a detriment to society.
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah because in a big way.
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: You know, I heard someone comment on this and they they said some pretty, I think, interesting and enlightening things.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: But when men are weakened, when their role as leaders and as Protectors is diminished, then women end up suffering for that because they're not protected as they ought to be, and I'm sorry, but it's Idiotic for anyone to try to pretend that men and women are not different and especially that men, on the average, are not stronger than women and are not designed in such a way that they are geared to be protectors.
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: And so it's a tragedy and mark.
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: We've seen it to where I would say, women unfortunately have drifted more into kind of the crass territory Then before, because we're talking about being gentlemen but being ladylike that may be another podcast, but but being ladylike is almost going up the window.
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: Yes, I, I would, I would agree with that, you know, let me let's sidetrack here just a little bit.
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: I would, I would define I think a gentleman and a biblical manhood is one in the same Right.
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: I think that we're trying to bring a distinguishing factor between not even intentionally perhaps between the two, but I think that they go hand in hand absolutely and if we're gonna talk about what a Christian Manhood, what Christian manhood looks like, let's throw out some terms right, and that would include being a protector of the family.
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: That'd be a provider of the family.
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: It would be one who controls his appetites, right, that that is not quickly given over to things that he shouldn't, or an over indulger of foods or over indulger of fill in the blank, where there's self-control attached to biblical manhood, to a gentleman inside of the public or even in private, so he needs to lead his family.
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: A gentleman will lead his family with devotions.
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: Will lead his family in the rising up and the sitting down.
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: He'll lead his family when there need to be leading.
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: So let's make sure that we're synonymous.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: And the next thing that, when it comes to a woman.
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that by and large it has to do with the lack of biblical manhood and leading.
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: So women are beginning to attempt to lead themselves.
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: And remember that's what Eve attempted to do, right, to try to usurp the authority of the man inside of her life and try to lead.
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: And that's part of the fall of man that she will always try to rise up against the man, against her husband, and be that leader when she should be in submission to good leadership.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: So let's be careful, it's good.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think in the midst of that, we also have a tremendous opportunity as Christian, in the midst of our homes and our churches, to be gentlemen in the way in which we view women both in the church and outside the church, which is that there are so many people who view women as like.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: Well, their responsibility is to take care of the children and to clean up the dishes period and of story, but women are creating God's image.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: They are there to be respected and admired and so, like as a practical example, they should be invited to the theological table.
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: Why not invite them to robust theological conversations?
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: Something that I admire about a group of friends that I'm a part of is we'll be sitting down by the fireside having a conversation, and it's not like the guys over here having conversations about theology and the women are over there washing dishes.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, it's mixed in.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: It's all together.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: The women are telling us about the commentaries that they're reading.
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: The guys are telling you know what I mean, and so it's a robust understanding of womanhood and then admiring that in a way that draws it out of them.
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and Ray, I want to ask you this you know, society has such an influence on the way that people think, on their perspective on what is good, what is bad, and scripture talks about good being called evil and evil good.
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: Today, it seems like so many of these celebrities, especially these musicians, you know, sometimes you get these celebrities that like Justin Bieber, as an example, or Miley Cyrus, or you know others that were part of, like the Mickey Mouse Club, and they were wholesome and clean.
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: It's almost like their handlers tell them to do some scandalous things so that they can get in trouble and change their image.
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: And it seems like the world has created a new appetite for the younger generation of women to be attracted to these guys that are just absolute nightmares, the way they live and the way they act and the things they do, don't you think?
• 25:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I like the choice of words.
• 25:40
  Speaker 4: You didn't say they're managers, but you said they're handlers, like they're handling beasts or dogs or something, because there's no ethics for us.
• 25:48
  Speaker 4: I love the way you called this podcast how to be a godly gentleman, because there is such a thing as ungodly gentleman.
• 25:56
  Speaker 4: I saw a quote that just took me back when I was researching this and it made me just think for a minute of the head and motive and the wickedness of the human heart.
• 26:04
  Speaker 4: A gentleman, as we said, a gentleman is a patient wolf.
• 26:08
  Speaker 4: Do you know what that means?
• 26:10
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah, a gentleman is a patient.
• 26:13
  Speaker 4: Well, that's speaking of godlessness.
• 26:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah, how you'll see a man take a woman out to a restaurant and be an absolute gentleman.
• 26:19
  Speaker 4: It's a New York restaurant, very expensive.
• 26:20
  Speaker 4: What is actually happening is it's respectable prostitution.
• 26:24
  Speaker 4: The pimp is the restaurant.
• 26:26
  Speaker 4: It's receiving payment for services that are going to be given to the gentleman and it really shows the human heart is deceitfully wicked.
• 26:34
  Speaker 4: And when you're a godly gentleman, there's no altery mode of whatsoever.
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: It's just because you respect well, you love God and you respect the woman.
• 26:42
  Speaker 4: It's so good.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I like, mark, what you highlighted as well, that you cannot separate someone who's a gentleman from someone who is a godly man or who's fulfilling biblical manhood.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: They're one and the same, they interrelate.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: I wanted to kind of nuance this and focus a little more on some of the traits that are in keeping with a godly gentleman, and I think scripture touches on a few different things that I'd like to stick for.
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: One of those is Proverbs 19-22.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: That says what is desired in a man is kindness, and I think that this is something that we don't give a lot of thought to, and I think that, because of the shift in culture today, it's like there's this term he's soft.
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: That guy is soft because he's kind, he treats people with kindness, and so I love the way that's phrased in the proverb what is desired in a man is kindness.
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: I remember the movie which I wouldn't recommend today I can't remember if I saw it in the theater or not, but back in the day Schindler's List.
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: What was displayed through Schindler's life, in that he became a man who was given over to kindness and such an extreme sense of wanting to save lives, and we'll touch on that more specifically.
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: But there's something in us that resonates with kindness demonstrated by a human being.
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: There's something in us that says that is right and that is good, and so I think that today, oscar, we're seeing a generation that is reveling in the opposite the videos that we see of young kids beating up homeless people or mocking people.
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: I remember seeing this one video.
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: Her name was, I think the lady's name was Karen.
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: She was like the bus monitor and these kids were just absolutely destroying her with their words, mocking her, laughing at her.
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: She just sat there in tears.
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: She was probably in her 70s and so speak to that.
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: Matt, you know what those videos infuriate me, and I had a pretty abusive stepfather at one point in time I think I don't know if I've shared this on the podcast before, but he was like grooming me to be a street fighter.
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: It's a reason why I got into so many fights growing up is because I thought that that's what it meant to be a man, and I remember specifically like he would sit me down and watch, have me watch, and please don't look this up.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: But there's videos on VHS called Faces of Death.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: Do you remember those?
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: No, they were videos back then of people killing people.
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: There was videos of homeless people fighting I mean, this is before the internet homeless people fighting of death, and he would have me watch them because he thought it was hilarious.
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: And you fast, that was an extreme in the moment because it wasn't available.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: It was available to some and unfortunately, I was exposed to it.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: The difference between then and now is that it's everywhere on the internet, yeah, and the other difference is that for so many people, the vast majority of their experience is communicating with people online and it removes a human aspect, human element, and so they use, you know, foul language and words and offensiveness in ways, because there's a lack of human experience when you communicate to people online like that and then they remove themselves from the internet and then they face the bus driver and they bring that same disposition.
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: You know that's one of the reasons why bullying is on the rise, where abusive behavior like this and man, it's so toxic and it's so terrible.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: But let me say this to any specifically, as we're talking about being a gentleman to anybody out there, who's the kindest guy, who would think to themself?
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: I would never do that.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: I'm the kind of guy that will open the door for a stranger, etc.
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: Etc.
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: Etc.
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: It also matters the way you treat your wife and your children at home when no one else is looking, because if you're not a gentleman in the home when it's just you and your wife, when it's just you and your children, then you're not a gentleman on the streets.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: It starts there, yeah.
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: As I've said often, the thing I quote a lot who we are in private, when we're most comfortable, least self-conscious and there's no one to impress.
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: that is who we are and the reason why I bring that up, by the way sorry real quick, because I just realized I didn't circle it back the stepfather that I had.
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: If you ever met him, he would leave the room and you'd be like that is the nicest guy I've ever met, what a gentleman.
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: But at home he was a monster.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: So that's what I think of.
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: There are so many people that are so kind on the street but lack gentleness in the home.
• 31:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Right, here we go Touching of the hat.
• 31:35
  Speaker 4: That's something that's been forgotten, but if you go back to old movies, anytime a woman just a touch of the hat and it's saying I acknowledge that you are a female and you respect it and I care about you.
• 31:46
  Speaker 4: It's just beautiful.
• 31:47
  Speaker 4: If I had a hat I'd touch it, but I don't have a hat.
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: We need to get you a cowboy hat right.
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I had one or a sombrero.
• 31:54
  Speaker 4: We had one for the television program.
• 31:55
  Speaker 4: It's the only hat that's ever seen, where is it?
• 31:57
  Speaker 4: I don't know, I threw it away, I cut it up.
• 32:02
  Speaker 4: What I cut it?
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: up.
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: You cut it up why I was experimenting.
• 32:06
  Speaker 4: Hinkertrip.
• 32:06
  Speaker 4: Well, no, no, my dog was scratching and I saw you could put a hat on a dog, a cowboy hat, instead of one of those cone, horrible things that stick up and they look like a bark amplifier.
• 32:17
  Speaker 4: I thought I need a cowboy hat.
• 32:18
  Speaker 4: Couldn't get one, so I cut a hole in that.
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: Did it work.
• 32:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it did, it did yeah.
• 32:22
  Speaker 4: I mean she went riding off on a horse, no scratching.
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: Ray, can you ever like not fulfill an idea?
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: You get no.
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: I can't run with that.
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: It's terrible.
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so kindness, yeah, gentleness.
• 32:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah, gentleness, it's the fruit of the spirit.
• 32:39
  Speaker 4: That's all it is.
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Another element too.
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: I think that would be good for us to touch on.
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: Another elephant Nipple cover.
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: Okay, we better explain that.
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: Okay, it's come up through like three different times.
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: Okay, when Rachel and I were first married, I had my first sleepwalking talking episode.
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: We were newlyweds and I had a dream of an elephant and you know like.
• 33:02
  Speaker 4: We should really change the name of this episode.
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: You know, baby bottles, how there's like, there's this plastic cover for the nipple that goes on.
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: Well, I was dreaming that the elephant had a cover on its nipples.
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: It was a mother, elephant, nurse, I don't know, whatever.
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: Then I swallowed it.
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: What is wrong with you?
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: I swallowed it and I was choking on it and I got up and bought Rachel.
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: She couldn't sleep.
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: She was sitting in the living room we're newlyweds.
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: She's reading her Bible, like three in the morning, I don't know.
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: And I come out and I'm like what?
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: are you doing?
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: She's like I'm reading my Bible.
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: She's like who is this monster?
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: That I married and I'm like and I start gagging what's wrong I swallowed an elephant's nipple cover.
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: That's what it's about.
• 33:45
  Speaker 4: Yes, ray, I'm getting the interpretation now.
• 33:47
  Speaker 4: Yes, here it is.
• 33:50
  Speaker 4: You're gullible and you'll swallow anything.
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: That's it, Anyway.
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: That resolves that.
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: No, it doesn't.
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: It's caused big problems, so many questions.
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: It's caused more problems.
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: We're just done, milking it for all its worth.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I did tell her to call 911 too.
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: You did, I did.
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: Okay, so another.
• 34:12
  Speaker 4: Was that same episode?
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was that same.
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: So, anyway, the other thing I think that a gentleman does is he protects a woman's purity and guards her from himself.
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: First Corinthians 7-1,.
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: Now, concerning the things of which you wrote to me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman, and that speaks to causing In a sexually arousing way.
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: Mark, you and I, we both have older daughters, oscars, daughters younger Ray, you have a daughter that I married.
• 34:45
  Speaker 4: Why didn't you use the word older?
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: We as dads Mark, we as dads Mark, we as dads Mark, we as dads Mark, With daughters.
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: Y'all, y'all.
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: More recently getting into relationships.
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: We understand the importance of young men protecting our daughter's purity and do you think because I'm seeing this as a big problem too do you think this is also a lack of fathers intentionally training their daughters?
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: I've had talks with young men who have been in relationships with my daughter about protecting their purity, but I've also talked to my sons with as much passion about protecting the purity of other men's daughters.
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you see these macho men in the world who allow their boys to do anything.
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: They're so in the wild though it's boys will be boys and then, when it comes to their daughter, right, they're cleaning their shotgun when a boy comes over to take them out.
• 35:43
  Speaker 3: And I think that there is some hypocrisy that has taken place there.
• 35:47
  Speaker 3: And what has really happened amongst my girls, as my girls have grown up and shown interest in the opposite sex, is it's caused me to want to go back to my boys and to pour into my boys and to have make sure my boys' speech are seasoned with salt.
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: First, corinthians 13 says that you put off childish things, that there are stages of life perhaps, and maybe it demonstrates in a different way at a different stage and it looks differently, but we should always be thinking about how we can put off childish things.
• 36:21
  Speaker 3: We enter into the kingdom as a child.
• 36:23
  Speaker 3: It speaks of a simplicity, right, but that doesn't mean we're childish.
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: We need to put off childish behavior, childish conversation.
• 36:34
  Speaker 3: That's not to say we're not to joke, we're not to dance, we're not to laugh, we're not to have fun.
• 36:37
  Speaker 3: You can even play games, you know.
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: Whatever that may be.
• 36:40
  Speaker 3: As we look at the qualifications of an elder or a deacon, and I think that these are good qualifications, just as biblical manhood.
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: Right, these are a starting point, not an ending point.
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: This is not a ceiling, this is the floor.
• 36:55
  Speaker 3: This is where we begin.
• 36:56
  Speaker 3: And as we look at 1 Timothy 3, it says Now the overseer.
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: He must be above reproach, the husband of, but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable and able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money, and he must manage his own family well.
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: He must also have a good reputation with outsiders so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devils trap.
• 37:24
  Speaker 3: This is not saying is there one among us that can fulfill these qualities?
• 37:30
  Speaker 3: Oh, there's only one among us.
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: Okay, so this person is now an overseer or a bishop, a pastor, a teacher, but rather this is a starting point and it's remember, god's not looking for someone who is sinless.
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: Perhaps you're sinning less than when you first became a Christian, but there's one, it's a recognition of I can't, but you can.
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: It's a continual person who says you know, search me and try me and see if there'd be any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.
• 37:56
  Speaker 3: And we consider it the deacon right.
• 37:58
  Speaker 3: Deacons, likewise, are to be men worthy of respect, sincere, not indulging in much wine, not pursuing dishonest gain.
• 38:05
  Speaker 3: They must keep hold of the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience.
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: These are a very good definition, a starting point, remember, not an ending point.
• 38:17
  Speaker 3: A good ground level to begin, of what a gentleman looks like.
• 38:21
  Speaker 3: This is what a godly person, what a Christian looks like.
• 38:25
  Speaker 3: So when my daughter comes to me and says that I'm looking for a man, I'm really thinking of someone who fulfills the qualifications of an elder or deacon, and then it causes me to be introspective.
• 38:37
  Speaker 3: Am I like this?
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: Are my boys like this?
• 38:40
  Speaker 3: Am I leading in the way that I should lead?
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: And then I want to lead.
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: Well, perhaps a future summon law.
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: That's good.
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I like that, mark, looking at what scripture has given us as a high standard and asking ourselves, well, why not?
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: You know, why not look for those qualities?
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: I mean, those are good godly qualities and attributes.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: I think Voti Balkam wrote a book.
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: The title is what he Must Be If he Wants to Marry my Daughter, and there's some good stuff in there, and I love getting young men thinking in that direction, you know, beginning with the end in mind and saying how am I going to work toward that?
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: You know, ray, you mentioned gentleness.
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: I love 1st Peter 315 says but in your hearts, honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason, for the hope that is in you.
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: Yet do it with gentleness and respect, and I love that Like.
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: In the same way, mark touched on elders and deacons.
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: I think this is referencing who we are as ambassadors for Christ and representatives to the world.
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: But these things should overflow into every area of our lives.
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: But how important is that, that gentleness and that attitude of respect.
• 39:52
  Speaker 4: It's huge because daily I meet young girls that don't even look like girls anymore.
• 39:59
  Speaker 4: They've got rings through their nose and tattoos, hence half shaven and all this.
• 40:03
  Speaker 4: And they're usually listening to their phones and I have to stop them and say can I talk to you for a minute?
• 40:08
  Speaker 4: Would you like to go on YouTube?
• 40:09
  Speaker 4: And I look on that as a even if I don't get them on camera as an opportunity to show them gentleness.
• 40:15
  Speaker 4: They're probably hardly ever seen in their life from a male.
• 40:19
  Speaker 4: That's good and it's.
• 40:21
  Speaker 4: Sometimes the interaction is only for 30 seconds to a minute.
• 40:24
  Speaker 4: I just say we've got a YouTube channel, a lot of views.
• 40:27
  Speaker 4: Would you like to go on?
• 40:28
  Speaker 4: I ask people if they think there's an afterlife Do you think there's an afterlife?
• 40:32
  Speaker 4: And they go quite a certain name.
• 40:34
  Speaker 4: So I'm saying do you think there's an afterlife?
• 40:36
  Speaker 4: And they say, oh, I don't know.
• 40:40
  Speaker 4: I see you think about much and they say yeah, so everyone does, just quietly in their heart, but we never talk about it, do we?
• 40:46
  Speaker 4: And just by showing gentleness.
• 40:49
  Speaker 4: And then when I end up by saying this, I don't want to go on, I'm shy, so here's an in and out card for you.
• 40:52
  Speaker 4: Anyway, it's just huge.
• 40:55
  Speaker 4: You see their eyes light up.
• 40:56
  Speaker 4: They look at me like I've given them a Lamborghini or something, and it's because they're not shown godly gentleness from the world.
• 41:03
  Speaker 4: They're just something to be conquered.
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: It's so good.
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: And you know, it reminds me of like.
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: You'll hear people say this sort of thing in different contexts, but they'll say I almost lost hope in humanity and then I saw this.
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: You know, you'll see that sometimes on videos and it's like, obviously, of course we know man has fallen and broken, but I think there are those glimmers of being made in the image of God, you know, and God's law being written upon people's hearts where their conscience begins to affect them and they do things that are in keeping with righteousness.
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: You know, and I'm just imagining a young lady who, like you said, has probably experienced one abusive man after the other, maybe beginning with her own father, and then to see, you know, someone who's a father type figure come in, an older man, an older man, an old man coming there but, you know, just showing that warmth, I mean seriously, that could be the glimmer that God uses.
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: And again, ultimately the gospel must be preached, but I think the Lord can take little things like that and create an openness that can lead a person to hearing the gospel.
• 42:12
  Speaker 4: Well, I always, before I do anything or say anything, I say I've got a YouTube channel and I hand them the YouTube card with the dog on it on the front and I just hold it so they have to take it.
• 42:23
  Speaker 4: So now they've got it in their hands.
• 42:25
  Speaker 4: So when they feel the warmth and loving kindness, I know there's something in their hand, plus that gift card, that's going to make them say I'll check this out.
• 42:32
  Speaker 4: So I often I'll go to the local college.
• 42:34
  Speaker 4: Takes a 10 minutes to get there, 10 minutes to get back and I don't get anyone on camera.
• 42:39
  Speaker 4: But I get a lot of people going through the same scenario of just mentioned to you, which is maybe more effective than even getting them on camera.
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: I love it, oscar.
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: Humility a Proverbs 29-23,.
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: A man's pride will bring him low, but the humble and spirit will retain honor and I think that's an honorable element when you say in gentlemen that there's humility.
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know why you're asking me is because I'm like the most humble person.
• 43:02
  Speaker 4: I was going to say why are you choosing Oscar and I?
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: Because I'm hoping he'll get convicted.
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: You know what else I think, what goes into like practically, how do I know I'm being humble towards the women in my life when I prioritize them?
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: You know, when my wife feels like she's prioritized over the dog, my boys, the dog, the guys in my life.
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: When my wife knows, like this is an important one, I want my wife and my kids to know that my wife comes before my children.
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: That's really important to me, like one of the things that's really valuable to me is that my kids do not respect my disrespect my wife.
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: That is a hot like.
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: That is a very high standard.
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: They know that there's going to be a major consequence.
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: If you ever disrespect my wife and I say it like that too, you're not disrespecting your mom in that moment, you're disrespecting my wife yeah, and you can say I chose her, I didn't choose you, you just came along.
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: You're the additive, but that's important.
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: You know, if I'm at a social event and my wife is nearby and she wants my attention, she gets it.
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: It's important.
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: I think the way you stay humble amongst the women in your life is that you prioritize them above your own desires, above your own self.
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's good, mark.
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: I alluded to this earlier, but, john 1513, greater love has no one than this.
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: And to lay down one's life for his friends, love and sacrifice in a gentleman.
• 44:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's weird because there's something hidden there that we don't think through, because while we were yet his enemies, he died for us.
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: He didn't die for us as his friends.
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: We were his enemies at the time.
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: Yet John 1513, it says there's no greater love than this and one to lay down his life for his friends.
• 44:46
  Speaker 3: You know I, in preparing for this podcast, I came across this really interesting story about Charles Spurgeon, and it said five young college students were spending a Sunday in London, so they went to hear the famed CH Spurgeon preach.
• 45:03
  Speaker 3: While waiting for the doors to open, the students were greeted by a man who asked gentlemen, let me show you around.
• 45:10
  Speaker 3: Would you like to see the heating plant of this church?
• 45:13
  Speaker 3: Well, they weren't particularly interested, for it was a hot day in July, but they didn't want to offend the stranger, so they consented.
• 45:20
  Speaker 3: The young men were taken down a stairway, a door was quietly opened and their guide whispered this is our heating plant.
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: Surprise, the students saw 700 people bowed in prayer seeking a blessing on the service that was soon to begin in the auditorium above.
• 45:37
  Speaker 3: Softly closing the door, the gentleman then introduced himself.
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: It was none other than Charles Spurgeon.
• 45:46
  Speaker 3: A gentleman is one who recognizes that all that he has is from God, that God is open of his hand and he is satisfied the desire of every living creature and, as a child of God, everything we have belongs to him.
• 46:01
  Speaker 3: What is a gentleman?
• 46:02
  Speaker 3: A gentleman is one who looks to the Lord, who is relying upon God, and that's demonstrable through prayer, that is demonstrable through when praise comes that person's way, to give glory and honor back to God.
• 46:14
  Speaker 3: A gentleman is one, finally, who seeks the glory of God and not his own.
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: By the way, for those who don't know context, charles Spurgeon, Metropolitan Tarrenacle Spurgeon, was the janitor.
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: Very eloquent, janitor.
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: That's good, mark.
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: I think too we can't forget the heroic spirit and the gentleman Proverbs 24-11, deliver those who are drawn toward death and hold back those stumbling to the slaughter.
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: A man is willing to get into the thick of the fight to rescue others, to speak on behalf of, for example, the unborn who have no voice, who are willing to take a stand on behalf of those that are persecuted for the sake of the gospel, for those that are mistreated, who may even be sinful, wretched people, but they see them being abused and they get in the way.
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: I mean it's a beautiful thing and it coincides with the heart of our Savior.
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: There's so much more that could be said, but I would say also a gentleman chivalry, looking at the cultural norms that convey to women and to children and to the elderly and others that they mean something to us.
• 47:29
  Speaker 2: And yeah, it is cultural In another culture.
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: What you might do here in America might be offensive in that culture.
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: I mean seriously here.
• 47:38
  Speaker 2: If you tip, that demonstrates to someone that you are caring and you're thoughtful.
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: You do that in Japan, right, mark?
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: We've been there together.
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: They get offended.
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: You're not supposed to do it.
• 47:48
  Speaker 2: So of course, there is some relative element to those things.
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: But we know in our culture, in our country what conveys to a woman, to children, to the elderly, to others.
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: They're important, they're significant.
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: We need to learn those chivalrous sorts of things in our culture and practice them for the sake of love, for the sake of care, for the sake of the gospel.
• 48:06
  Speaker 3: We should do an episode on how to honor God through good etiquette Next time.
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: By the way, I heard a preacher one time say he's like you know you talked about like dying for your wife and guys will be like, of course I would take a bullet for my wife and then he stops and he goes, but you won't take out the trash for her in the middle of the football game.
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: That's right, exactly.
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: Well, friends, there you have it.
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: Me and my fellow gentlemen here hopefully have encouraged you, the three of us, yeah, the three of us and that you have been stirred to pursue this.
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: And don't forget, friends, think on these things devotional.
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: I think I mentioned it, no, maybe I didn't, I can't remember now.
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: Anyway, make sure to check it out at podcast, no, at livingwaterscom.
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: Don't forget the Living Waters mug and the Evan Study Bible.
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: And don't forget your comments and thoughts and all kinds of things at podcastatlivingwaterscom.
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: Ray, what is that?
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: I think you're whispering into the microphone.
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: Ray right now is off.
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: Come on, what is that?
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: He goes Paris.
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: Hey, yeah, the auditorium in Paris where we're going to go for the Olympics, to preach the golf boat.
• 49:10
  Speaker 2: All right, friends.
• 49:11
  Speaker 2: Thank you for joining us.
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: We'll see you here next time on the Living Waters podcast Laska's Lift.
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: Oh good, the ultimate cure for insomnia.
• 49:25
  Speaker 4: No, no, do your proper snore.