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What is The Greatest Threat To a Narcissist? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  So what is a narcissist greatest enemy?
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  Who is a narcissist greatest enemy?
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  I know who or what? But typically today we're gonna
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  talk about what is a narcissist greatest enemy.
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  I'm gonna do another video on who a narcissist greatest enemy
• 0:14
  is. But what is a narcissist
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  greatest enemy? What is it?
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  What's what's the one thing that is a narcissist just just hate
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  answer shame. We're going to dig deep into
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  that one today. Y'all we digging deep into shame
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  of narcissistic people? If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
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  welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  A narcissist, greatest enemy. I know people go, yeah, I
• 0:59
  already know what y'all Yeah, I know y'all.
• 1:01
  Y'all think y'all know me? I know you.
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  I know when I first said a narcissist greatest enemy.
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  What is that? I know what you said.
• 1:09
  Uneducated empath, a dark empath, a super empath, a flying
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  empath. You know, the flying empath is
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  the ones that they, they like, got eagle wings and they swoop
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  in and just attack the attack the narcissist from above.
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  Like a hawk. Like a little empathetic hawk.
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  Like, like empathetic, empathetic eagle.
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  Yeah, the bald empathetic eagle. But no, yeah, I do love y'all.
• 1:37
  I appreciate y'all. I'm grateful for you.
• 1:39
  If I haven't told y'all that I'm grateful for you.
• 1:40
  I'm extremely grateful for you. And I just want to see y'all
• 1:43
  win. Everybody asked me what?
• 1:44
  Why you do this, Why you been doing this for so long?
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  I genuinely if you ever done a one-on-one, one-on-one with me
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  over zoom, if you're part of my support group or you talked to
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  me, you met me in real life in one of my workshops.
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  You know my energy is legit. I really truly just want y'all
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  to win. So that being said, Narcissus
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  greatest enemy. It's shame y'all if y'all don't
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  know and I hear this one time, right?
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  If y'all don't know who Alec Murdoch, Alec Murdoch is, right?
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  He's the person who inside the old attorney in South Carolina
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  that unalived his wife and his own son to prevent his drug
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  addiction and his drug abuse and his stealing money from clients
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  or whatever from being exposed during his case.
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  One of the lead attorneys had him on the stand, right?
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  They were in there was just cross examining Alec Murdoch,
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  right? And they said, he said Mr.
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  Murdoch, shame is a great provocation for you, isn't it?
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  And he was trying to, he's calling Alec Murdoch A
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  narcissist to his face, but he couldn't use, you can't use the
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  word narcissist in courtyard. It just doesn't, it won't serve
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  you. You have to prove the behaviors.
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  So he said, Mr. Murdoch, shame is a great provocation for you,
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  isn't it? He said, what do you mean?
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  He's like shame? You don't like you don't like
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  the world, you don't like feeling shame.
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  Shame activates you just like it activates most narcissists.
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  That that line inspired me. Y'all, y'all ever hear me saying
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  that? That's from that line.
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  I got to figure out what the that attorneys name is.
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  I can quote him correctly, but little bit Alec Murdoch K he
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  said shame is a great provocation for you.
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  Shame is the enemy of narcissists.
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  It is the greatest enemy that exists for narcissists.
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  And this is one of the videos right here, y'all, that
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  narcissists can watch too. This is not just for impact.
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  It's just not for survivors. This is one of the videos that
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  narcissists can watch as well because I've had to battle shame
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  my entire life. I still battle it right now.
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  I'm still dealing with it right now on a huge basis.
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  Shame does not go away. Shame, y'all.
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  Shame travels. Shame.
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  Shame got frequent flyer miles and it is traveling far and
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  wide. I'm dead serious too.
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  Shame narcissistic people. Shame makes us feel like bad
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  people. Shame makes me feel like a bad
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  person. Whenever I feel shame, I feel
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  like a bad person. No matter what I've done, it
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  could be something small. I feel like a worse person on
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  the planet, so I need to get rid of it.
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  And instead of just dealing with a head on, most narcissists run
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  away from it. And they do.
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  They do more shameful things to cover up the original shame.
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  Even if it's something small, Alec Murdoch is.
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  It wasn't small. He was doing drugs and stealing.
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  That wasn't small, but he was so worried about his reputation
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  being ruined that he would rather unalive his wife and his
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  son than to have exposed that he was a drug addict thief.
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  You know what I'm saying? And it's not a legend that that
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  was proven right. That was proven.
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  Maybe the drug stuff is alleged, but he definitely unalive his
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  wife and his son. He he was there.
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  But that way it happens. Like they would do more shameful
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  things to cover up the small shame that people might that
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  might be exposed. It is insane.
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  Shame activates us. Think about, think about think
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  about the worst thing the narcissist in your life has done
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  to you. Why do they do it?
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  You know what I'm saying? What have they done?
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  What's the worst thing that they have done to you or put you
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  through? Then ask yourself what the hell
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  activated them and made them start acting acting a monkey
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  like this in the first place. And a lot of times the answer to
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  that question is going to be shame.
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  Shame activated that narcissistic, abusive partner of
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  yours to do something horrible. Like shame not only makes them
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  do horrible things to cover up other stuff, shame makes them do
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  things to make them. Shame is like say it's a
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  monster. The monster under the bed in a
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  narcissist's life is shame. That's the easiest way for me to
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  put it. The monster under the bed for
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  narcissist is shame. It is for me.
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  I've had to I have instead of instead of making it a shame
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  monster, I've had to personalize shame.
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  I've had to make shame a person because when you think of
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  monster, you don't think of this this.
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  You know I'm I'm 6 like 6, two and a half 63, right?
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  I'm £250. I might not look at y'all see
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  y'all see from here up, but shame ain't.
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  If I make shame the same size as me or smaller, I don't have No
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  Fear of that. Now, if shame is 9 foot tall,
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  £700, muscles, bulging horns, a Trident, a, a, a, a large Pew
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  Pew, a fire, fire, a flame for her.
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  Yeah, I'm be scared of that. Yeah.
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  You have to put shame in the light.
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  Most narcissists run from shame because shame, when the shame
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  catches you, you feel horrible. That's why when you get a
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  narcissist in jail, that's why narcissists get worse in jail,
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  because you can no longer run from it.
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  They were like, will jail chain my narcissistic ex?
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  No, they can't run from the shame.
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  They're going to. They're going to try to blame
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  everybody else, but they're locked in a cell.
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  I can't imagine if. Thank Lord, thank the Lord.
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  I can imagine. They feel like just being in a
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  little room and they shut the door on me and tell me I can't
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  leave for years for the rest of my life.
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  Man, come on. They're right there.
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  Narcissists. That's why I say most
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  narcissists go to jail and they absolutely get worse because
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  they can no longer run from the shame.
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  You scared of the dark? So what you in the cell?
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  You can't run. You can't go for You can't go
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  for a run because you want to. You can't get them in the
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  morning and go for a run. You can't, you can't go do a
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  cold plunge. You're in jail.
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  You said, oh, what? Narcissists get worse in jail.
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  Shame is the greatest enemy of narcissists.
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  You want to hurt a narcissist? Make them feel shame.
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  Bring their shame. Shine a light on their shame.
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  Well, Lee, how do I make how? Lee, how do I make a narcissist
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  feel bad about themselves? How do I how do I make them?
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  How do I make how, how do I hurt them?
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  Shine a light on them like a damn vampire.
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  It really is the fact of vampire, right?
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  Shine the sun on them. That's alright.
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  Yeah, I'm stupid, but shame is a great provocation.
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  It really does activate their narcissistic partner or ex or
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  whoever it is. You're you're a narcissistic
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  kid. Sometimes we have these
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  narcissists. We have adult children that are
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  narcissists, right? We have those and that right
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  there, it does a lot. It really does a lot.
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  And it can make you feel like I said, your narcissistic partner,
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  your whoever it is in your life, that shame is going to make them
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  lose their damn minds. That's why I'm so big on like
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  accountability. Like shame is the thing.
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  Shame is the ingredient or shame is the greatest enemy because it
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  makes them not want to be accountable.
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  Because if I, if I take accountability for my actions,
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  that means I'm a bad person. That means shame is going to
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  attack me. That means shame.
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  My thoughts are going to eat me alive.
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  Shame is not real, y'all shame it for narcissist it is.
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  It's a real thing, but it's not a real monster.
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  You know what I'm saying? It's the it's the monster under
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  the bed with the red eyes. You ever seen Think about this
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  right here y'all? This is how I describe shame to
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  people. Magic being in the bed right?
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  As a kid you hear a scratching noise underneath the bed and you
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  like what the hell is that? And you hear a growl.
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  You like, what the hell You scared on you.
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  You're scared of what? You scared of what?
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  What's underneath that bed? What's what it could do to you,
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  right? Because you don't know what it
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  is. So one day you might get brave
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  and you can pick over the edge of the bed.
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  You look under the bed. You see red eyes.
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  You see a pair of red eyes staring back at you.
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  You get afraid of. Yeah, the Mars under the bed.
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  Shane, Shane under the bed. How do I get rid of it?
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  How do I get rid of it? So you avoid it.
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  You know what I'm saying? You avoid facing it head on
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  because if you face it head on, you got a flashlight and looked
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  under the bed, you will realize that those red eyes, though,
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  just a reflection, it's a cat, a little cat under the bed,
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  scratching, meowing, purring. You know, it was a growl.
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  It's a cat down, cat down there, budding a cat down there.
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  Like you're like, oh, it's still scary.
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  It's supposed to be scary because you don't know what it
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  is. You have to face it head on.
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  Most narcissists avoid shame because they don't want to face
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  it head on. Because facing it head on means
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  that I have to take accountability for my actions,
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  which means that my bad person shame makes narcissists feel
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  like they're a bad person, even if the shame isn't real.
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  Sometimes narcissists talk themselves into feeling shame
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  into into thinking they're going to be ashamed if people find
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  out. Did I?
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  This is why people, This is why narcissistic people lie about
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  stuff on dating apps. They lie about their height,
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  they lie about their weight, they lie about other things
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  about their life because they feel like if you know the real
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  thing, if you find out the real thing, you're going to feel
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  shame. You know what I'm saying?
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  They'd be lying because they don't want to feel shame.
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  They don't get held accountable. Hey, your dating profile said
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  you were 6-8, Lee. Oh, I want to be 6.
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  You see what I'm saying? How stupid that sounds right
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  there. It's shame.
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  Well, they how the hell do get them not feel ashamed?
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  You can't do it for them. They have to go to therapy and
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  face the shame. They have to see that shame is a
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  person and not a monster. Shame is a person that looks
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  just like them. Shame is their doppelganger.
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  Shame is their inner child afraid.
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  That's why that's why they have so many fears, right?
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  That's how we have, that's why we have so many adult fears
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  because we didn't, we didn't attack them as children, right?
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  Some of this stuff, some of the stuff that we feel ashamed of
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  getting instilled from us from by our parents.
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  You get ashamed for drinking, you get ashamed for having a
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  girlfriend. You get ashamed for having a
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  boyfriend. You get ashamed for doing this.
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  You get ashamed for getting to be.
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  You get ashamed for be wetting the bed.
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  You get ashamed for this shame for scary to the dark.
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  You get ashamed for this type of stuff.
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  You don't deal with it. Shame starts early and it grows.
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  It grows. It grows, boy, it grows with
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  you. I was like I said, shame is
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  going to keep growing until it's tackled, and most people are not
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  going to tackle it because it's painful.
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  Let's keep it real. Shame is a painful thing to
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  attack. Shame is a painful thing to deal
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  with, but shame is the greatest enemy of most narcissistic
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  people because it activates them when they think they're going to
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  be ashamed of something or the people going to shame them for
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  something. They they going to, they go on
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  the defensive. They do whatever it takes to
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  defend themselves or to make to make the shame go away, or at
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  least to bury the shame in a shallow grave.
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  You see what I'm saying? They take the shame and they try
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  to hide it and bury, bury it in a shallow grave, just like Alec
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  Murdoch, the Alec Murdoch Murdoch did.
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  He took his shame, try to hide his shame in a shallow grave,
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  but unaliven his wife and his son, right?
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  But guess what happened? When you think you're burying
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  something, sometimes you plant it and it grows.
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  It grows. It becomes worse because he is
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  that he thought he was burying his shame because he unaloged
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  his wife and son and they bought him some time for the drugs and
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  the money, the money theft and stuff like that.
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  Because what happened after they got into his son's phone, they
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  found out that his son had put a Snapchat video indicating that
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  Alec Murov was at the scene of the crime and not where he said
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  he was at. You see what I'm saying?
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  That's what shame does right there.
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  There was shame. The shame activates narcissistic
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  people. It makes them do that type of
• 13:07
  stuff. Anyway, Joe, they have a ride
• 13:10
  with me to the end of this video.
• 13:12
  If you haven't already, check out Mental illness.net for all
• 13:15
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• 14:03
  Peace.