Latest / The Diva Details / The Art of Flirting: Master the Lost Art of Flirting inModern Dating

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The Art of Flirting: Master the Lost Art of Flirting inModern Dating · The Diva Details

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Welcome to the Diva Details. Welcome to the Diva Details.
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Where bold, confident women embrace life unapologetically.
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From love and sex to wellness and reinvention. We keep it raw, real, and powerful.
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Hello. This is Diva Mia, and today we're going to start a new series on dating.
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Dating is such a tricky thing for people nowadays because it's changed completely,
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at least it has from my day and age.
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And I know that people, the first thing they think they need to do is jump on
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a dating app, but the problem with that is a lot of people don't even know how to flirt.
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Flirting is a part of talking to the other sex.
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So when you want to flirt with someone, you talk to the opposite sex in a way that
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kind of lures them in a little bit or brings them closer to you.
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Now, I'm all for being authentic and being your true self, but you can be playful
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and flirtatious at the same time.
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So today we're going to dive deep into it a little bit more because there's
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a lot of people out there that don't know how to flirt at all.
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You talk to them and they're just really awkward, or you go on a first date
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with them and they're really awkward.
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So let's talk a little bit more about flirting.
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All right. So first, I want to talk about masculine versus feminine energy.
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Now, men and women flirt very differently.
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So remember, if you're a man, you're not going to be flirting the same way a
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woman does and vice versa.
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Flirting doesn't mean you're playing games. Now, I know there's a lot of books
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out there that say you need to, if someone texts you, you should ignore the
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text and wait till the next day to lead them on or pull them in closer.
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I'm not a big fan of that. I think people should be authentic,
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should communicate freely, and not manipulate or play games.
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But you do what you need to do. But I think you get a better quality person
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if you're actually true to yourself and true to them, honestly.
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Interest, the art of showing interest, is also magnetic.
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So people think if someone texts, you don't text till the next day.
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It makes them want you even more. But what if you texted back and you actually
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showed some interest? Because that feels magnetic. it's sexy,
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and it's very intentional.
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And I think in the current dating stages where people go on dating apps,
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they're talking to 20 different people, they start texting someone,
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and then they ghost them for a little bit, and then they come back.
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All it shows is that you're an option to that person, and I lose interest right away.
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Or if I'm texting someone regularly, like two or three times a day,
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and even talking to them on the phone, and then they go three days without talking
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to me, I've lost interest.
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And they may think it's a game, and they're trying to pull you in. I just walk away.
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And I think a lot of people are losing a lot of good people by playing these
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games because most people don't want to be played with.
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I'm here to tell you, most people do not want to be played with.
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Let's get started with the flirting, okay? Because men and women flirt very
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different. And most of the time, the flirting signals for the opposite sex gets misread.
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You may think that you're being clear and communicating clearly,
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but your signals may be completely misread by the opposite sex.
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So men, they typically flirt by signaling intention.
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They'll say, hey, I like your picture. Hey, I like you. I'm interested in you.
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I want to pursue you. They're very direct, typically.
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They're less gameplay, at least in the very beginning I've seen.
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Now, they may play a little bit of games of, I think they've learned from women
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to not text back right away or play hard to get a little bit.
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But in the very beginning, they typically, they will pursue you.
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And that's a good thing, ladies.
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You want a man that's going to pursue you because if you're chasing a man down,
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he's not going to be very masculine. That's the truth.
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If you're having to follow a man around, if you're having to constantly text
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him first, If you're having to constantly go after him, A, he's probably not
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very masculine, or B, he's just not that into you.
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And either way, you probably don't want him. Or maybe he's got a whole roster of women lined up.
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So it's one of the three things. So if you're chasing a man down,
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I would say move on to the next person.
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Find someone that you actually align with and someone that you actually can
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communicate with on a daily basis.
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If you're dating someone and you're not talking daily, I am pretty convinced
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that there's something off.
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Either they're dating other people or they're just not that into you or something's
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going on or they're just playing games.
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You should be talking to people that you're dating, at least that you dated
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a couple times every single day.
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In fact, I think it's not unheard of that before you go on a date that you're
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just texting a couple times a day. It literally takes 30 seconds.
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Here's the truth that I want you to understand. If someone can't take 30 seconds
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out of their day to text you, you're not that important to them.
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And when you get into a relationship with them, you're not going to be that important to them.
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And that's a low-quality man.
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You want a quality man that gives you attention, that gives you care and consideration.
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You want to feel important to them, not just have them tell you you're important
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to me or say, I'm interested or I want to pursue you and then ghost you for a week.
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That's not healthy. And then you chase back because you feel like,
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oh, he finally came back to me. He's going to be a terrible dating partner.
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And you deserve more. You really do.
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Men tend to be very direct when they flirt. They're also very physical.
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A lot of times men can be touchy-feely.
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Now, I have gone on dates where guys were way too touchy-feely.
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So you have to be careful with that because that's a red flag.
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But men can be direct. They might touch you on the shoulder.
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Give you a hug, things like that.
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And they can also be very compliment-based. They should tell you how beautiful
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you are, how sexy, how smart.
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Those are things that men like to do because that's very flirtatious for them.
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And they also like to make jokes. Now, here's the truth.
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If you have a man that's making jokes and the jokes are really not funny, don't laugh.
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You can just give him a look or something like that. But if they're really not
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funny, you're going to get those jokes for the rest of your life.
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If you start laughing when you're dating them.
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So they do try to be humor-driven, though. The men that really like you are
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going to try to make you laugh because men like to make a woman laugh.
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Then they're going to be outcome-focused. If you have a man that's texting you
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every day, you're getting to know them, you're getting a great communication
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going on, you're texting them every day, and then they say they want to pursue
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you, they say they want to go on a date with you.
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Once they set that intention, they should schedule the date.
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They shouldn't be making you schedule the date. They shouldn't be making you
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make the reservations. If they're pursuing you, why are you setting all this up?
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Now, I'm a big believer in values, like traditional men and women values, just because...
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Balances. It creates a balance in a relationship that makes everything feel
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peaceful when you find your right person.
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Believe me, when you find your right person, the peace just happens.
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So those are typical types of things that they will do.
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They will want to have either a
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date scheduled or a phone conversation or FaceTime or something like that.
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Those are the types of things that men do when they're outcome driven and outcome focused.
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They also will offer to help you. So let's say that your car breaks down.
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They might help to change a tire.
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They might be the ones that initiate most of the conversation on texting.
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They might offer to help you with other things that are happening in your life.
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They also, on the phone when you talk to them, might offer ways to problem solve.
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Men tend to be big problem solvers. So if you give them a problem,
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they may help you try to problem solve it.
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Don't take that as an insult because a lot of people take it as an insult.
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They're just trying to be there for you. If you're at a restaurant and a man's
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eyes linger, that's a way that a man will flirt with you.
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If they look at you and then if a woman looks back and looks away,
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that's a way a woman flirts.
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So it's basically light teasing with your eyes. A man could also walk up to
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you and touch you on the arm. That's a flirtation, ladies.
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So if you're at a restaurant or a bar and a man walks up and touches you on
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their arm, that's definitely a flirtation.
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I know a lot of people are on the dating apps exclusively, but there are still
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a lot of people that meet people in restaurants and bars and at other events,
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at mixers, at different meetup events, things like that.
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There's ways that you can determine that a man likes you.
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They can also tease you a little bit. Now, I have found that if a man teases
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you too much and it gets too much,
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rude that that's not a good sign. Sometimes they get rude, though,
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because they're so awkward and so nervous that when they tease you,
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they don't know how to handle themselves.
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I will say, I've had that happen with men as well. And they try to show their status.
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When you have a man that the first time you meet them starts talking about how
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much money they make or that they're vice president of this company or the chief
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executive officer of that company, they try to show off that's a sign they want
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to flirt with you because they're trying to show off their masculinity.
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It's a really good sign. Men that brag about themselves, it may come across
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as a little narcissistic, but they're also doing it just to make sure you realize
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that they could provide for you.
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Men like to be providers, and don't take that away. Men like to pay for the
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bill, ladies. Don't try to split it 50-50.
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If a man's trying to split the bill 50-50, it's a red flag because that means
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they can't provide for dinner for you. How are they going to provide if you
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have children with them?
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How are they going to take care of you at all in the future when you're taking
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care of the house, probably working full-time, taking care of the kids, and they split a check.
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That's the reality. If you're a divorcee or a single mom and a guy tries to
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split the check, I would just laugh because there's no partnership there.
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Because women, we give. We give a lot. Men are there.
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Don't get me wrong. They help us out. They assist, and they help around the
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house, and they fix things, and they do things.
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Most of the weight of the household responsibilities has and always does rest on the woman.
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Realize, If they're splitting a check with you, they're probably not masculine
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and they're probably not a good dating partner.
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It's a red flag. You might just want to move on. Any of the men out there that
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are trying to split checks with women on a first date or even future dates,
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honestly, if you can't afford to take a woman on a date, don't date.
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Because if you're trying to split the check, it's quite insulting for your manhood.
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You've lost all masculinity as soon as you try to split that check.
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It's kind of ridiculous. Now, I know there's women out there that say,
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I can pay for myself. I can pay for myself.
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But if a man can't step up to the ballpark, why would I want to date him?
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If he can't pay for a dinner check, how's he ever going to take me out anywhere?
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How are we ever going to do anything fun together at all?
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Is he even going to be able to pay for a suit to go to a nice party with me?
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That's the reality. Think about it, ladies, long and hard before you say you're
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going to split a check with someone.
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And then also men will show status. They show their capabilities.
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And then they ask questions to demonstrate interest.
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What do you do for a living? What are your likes?
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They like to say, they like to tell you they're pursuing you.
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First of all, they have no problems direct. I like you. I want to date you.
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That's a man's way of flirting.
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Now, the day of the old pickup lines, I think, are gone, although I've heard
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some, but now they're more of a joke than a pickup line.
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Men, I think, have become way more direct because they're kind of tired of some of these games.
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Now, women is going to flirt quite differently. Women tend to not chase.
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If you're a woman that chases, you're probably chasing a lot of men,
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and they're probably running from you because men don't want to be chased.
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Men want to be the chasers. So when you flirt, it needs to be much more subtle.
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It can also be energetic.
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If you're tired all the time and you're down and you're melancholy,
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that is not flirtatious.
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If you complain, if you're a victim, if all you do is whine and talk about politics,
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that is not flirtatious.
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So a woman needs to be much more subtle.
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A woman needs to be energetic and positive.
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Now, if this is not your personality, maybe you need to do some work on you.
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Because why would you want to bring into a relationship a person that's a victim?
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Why would you want to bring into a relationship a negative person that all they
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do is sit around and complain?
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If that's you, you got some work to do on you before you start flirting.
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So that's pre-flirtation, pre-dating level. You need to be emotionally stable.
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If you really want to get a good quality man, if you're not emotionally stable,
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why would they want to date you?
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There's a lot of crazy out there, both on the male side and the female side.
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So again, work on you, whether you're a man or a woman, if you're not emotionally stable.
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Now, they also want you to show care and concern back. So if they stub their toe, say, oh,
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poor thing or poor baby, and be gentle with them.
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Men like it when a woman is gentle, when a woman is caring, when a woman is concerned.
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Because we are the nurturers in our relationships, ladies.
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We raise the children. We birth the children. Our natural instinct is to be nurturing.
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We bring support to every single relationship.
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We are the rock of every single relationship. Now, I'm not saying men direct
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the relationship, but we are the ones that carry the relationship,
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if you will. because if a man is really angry with you, you'll get angry back.
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If a man is really gentle with you, you'll be there like no other.
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You'll be his rock. You'll be his support person and you'll help drive that
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relationship to a success most likely.
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So again, a woman can be subtle, energetic, emotional.
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She can also be very suggestive and playful. Like she may flirt with you and
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say things that you don't even expect to come from a woman.
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She may be suggestive on, you may say, hey, what do you like to eat?
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She can tell you what she likes to eat. then a man could
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go and make the reservation so she can suggest things
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or i enjoy doing this then you show up
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and do it or assist those are types
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of things a woman will do she might talk to you and say oh wouldn't it be nice
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to go for dinner at this place that's a hint men if a woman says that you should
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take the initiative and say hey i'd love to take you out there sometime what
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do you think then you should also talk about invitation based so sometimes women
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will invite you in a way that's not a full invitation like.
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Oh, would you like to travel with me sometime? Or would you like to go again
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to this restaurant sometime?
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That's an invitation-based flirt. And it's also very suggestive.
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So when you hear this, man, that's a flirt back, and that's an open door for you to ask her out.
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A woman makes soft eye contact, not aggressive eye contact.
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When a man makes eye contact, a woman can look back lightly and do a soft eye contact.
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She might make a little smile for a second or two, and then she tends to look
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away and plays a little shy.
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This is just something that naturally happens with women.
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Now, I probably make more eye contact than most because I'm very confident in who I am.
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But a soft eye contact when you're first getting to know someone is really good.
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Now, on a first date, I'm not about looking away.
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You look very deceptive, men and women, when someone makes eye contact on a
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first date and you're looking away.
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So make sure that on a first date, it's not just soft eye contact.
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You can play with your hair or jewelry. A lot of women like to have a necklace
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on that they play with or a ring or their hair. They twirl their hair.
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All those things are very flirtation and men eat that up.
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You need to have open body language. If you're sitting there crossing your arms,
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looking away, a man is not going to find you attractive.
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The other thing is if you're sitting there playing on your phone when a guy
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is trying to flirt with you, he's just going to walk away because it's not open body language.
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When a man talks to you, you need to be open to him and receive.
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Women need to learn to receive more and men need to learn to give more.
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It's true. And then if you laugh at his jokes, that will be an open door for him to ask you out.
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You can also drop hints like, oh, yeah, I broke up with my boyfriend a couple weeks ago.
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And yeah, I'm just starting to look again for a new boyfriend.
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Not really serious, but just keeping my options open.
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That would be a way to drop a hint. You can drop a hint and give him opportunities to take you out.
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So when a man says, I'm pursuing you, your job is to say, I'm open to you pursuing
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me. And that's through flirtation.
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All right. So flirting is very important. I think that flirting has been lost
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due to the dating apps a lot. We flirt, but most people don't really know how to flirt.
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And that's what the art of flirting is today.
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So remember, we are talking about how you can flirt with the opposite sex and
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how you can get the opposite sex interested in you. It's not that hard.
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I think people make it so much harder than it has to be.
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A flirt is just to get the other person to think that you're,
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A, emotionally stable, B, that you might have some common interests.
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And that you are energetic and interested in them.
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Because the reality is, is when people flirt, they just want to see that the
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other person is reciprocal.
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If you're not reciprocal or you give cold signs or you don't treat the other
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person with respect, why would they want to take you out?
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Okay? Playing hard to get is fine for a little bit, but if you're playing hard
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to get through everything, they're just going to walk away.
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There's too many options out there with the dating apps. There really are. but
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men often read misread women because women we
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flirt indirectly we're like coy a little coy a
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little more subtle we tend to not ask a man out
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so if you're a man out there and you're expected waiting for a woman to ask
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you out then i'm sorry go get some balls because you're not very masculine you
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need to take the initiative that's your job if you don't know how then there's
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plenty of books out there this podcast can help but you need to learn you need
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to work on you first of all become more secure in who you are and learn to take initiative.
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Female cues are often subtle, though. We might play with our hair.
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We might flip our hair. We might just give you a glance.
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Those are flirtation cues. So if you're out and about, that's a cue.
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On text messages, we may say.
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Glad to see you're awake. Hope you slept well, honey. Those are flirtation cues, okay?
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When you hear women talk like that to you, that's an idea that it's time to
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ask her out because she's concerned about you.
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Men, a lot of times, they look for direct verbal confirmation and most women don't give it.
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Most women, we send signals. We send some physical signals. We may look a certain way.
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We may thrust our hips a certain way, kind of like a dancing bird.
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But we don't necessarily give, hey, I want to go out with you, no.
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A woman is friendly when she's flirtatious, and that can be a sign of romantic
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interest. If a woman is rude and nasty to you, I don't know if you even want
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to take that on, honestly.
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A woman will think that you get her cues if she smiles twice at you.
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If she looks at you and then smiles and looks at you again and smiles,
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she thinks she's telling you, ask me out. And a man doesn't see that.
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A man needs a painted billboard. So sometimes, lady, you're going to have to
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give men a break because a lot of them are kind of clueless with the flirtation.
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So you might have to be a little bit more direct.
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Maybe you do a couple cues and maybe you stick your hand on his arm.
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So you can use physical touch, ladies, to signal to a man, if he's not getting
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it, that you're interested. Okay?
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Now, men, they flirt very directly, but they tend to be less consistent.
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And this is a problem that women have with men.
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If you're dating a man and he's not consistent, you tend to tire early.
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Because consistency for a woman is crucial. Because we want a man that shows
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up consistently. And if they can't show up consistently when you're dating them
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or even flirting with them, there's a problem.
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You find them as not to be a very sound man. If someone's not consistent,
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so men, you do need to work on this. Women, you may need to work on being a
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little more direct. And men, you need to work on being more consistent.
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Because otherwise, we think you're dating a whole group of women.
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And if you are, that's fine.
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But most women aren't liking to be number five on your list of dates.
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Sometimes men also make jokes to hide their insecurities.
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And you typically see this in a man that makes fun of other people in order to make it humorous.
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And men that constantly make fun of other people tend to not be the ones you
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want to date anyway because they're very insecure.
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So humor's fine, Ellen fine, but when it's constantly making fun of other people,
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it's a red flag too. Some men, they like to flirt with everyone though.
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They like to flirt with every single person they see. They flirt with women.
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And again, you got to be careful of those men because those tend to be the ones
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lady you have to worry about later.
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That once you're in a relationship, they may be also the types that cheat.
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So the men that flirt with everyone are the red flags. I kind of was married to one.
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So I know for a fact that ones that flirt with everyone you have to be weary of. Thank you.
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Then you have the ones that don't flirt with anyone, the ones that when you're
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with them, they look at you and they think you're the top of their world,
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the ones that only focus on you.
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Those are the keepers, ladies. I'm here to tell you, because those you don't
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have to worry about cheating on you.
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They will pay attention to you and they will give you care and consideration like no one else has.
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Those are the ones that will take care of you in the future.
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Now, I know sometimes it's fun to go out with the bad boy. It's sometimes fun
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to go out with the guy that's flirting with everyone, that's dating everyone,
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because it feels like you won. But you didn't really win anything.
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You want a man that has so much insecurity, he has to flirt with everyone.
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Because he's not securing himself. He's not a long-term partner.
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He's just a plaything, honestly, ladies. So if that's what you're looking for, then go ahead.
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But if you're looking for a man that's actually quality, that's going to be
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in a relationship, you want a guy that's not flirting around with everybody.
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You want somebody that's consistently showing up for you. You should never assume
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a man is going to be obvious about liking you because some men don't know how to flirt.
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And many men right now, ladies, due to the state of how we've had the Me Too
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movement, some men are scared.
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I actually had a person tell me I can't kiss her because I'm afraid of getting
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charged with sexual harassment or, I mean, sexual assault.
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So if a man thinks he's going to get charged with sexual assault for kissing
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you, if it's not welcomed, you have to worry about that. And we'll talk about
21:28
kissing on the next podcast and how to get cues and give signs for kissing.
21:33
But many men fear rejection. If a man's afraid of getting rejected,
21:37
it's going to be hard for him to ask you out.
21:40
Now, men, I'm going to tell you, stop feeling this fear.
21:42
Because there's a lot of women out there that you're missing out on because
21:46
you're afraid to ask them out.
21:47
And get used to some rejection. It's just part of being a man.
21:50
And it's okay to be rejected because there's a lot of women out there.
21:54
And women expect their intuition...
21:58
To lead them. Ooh, does this feel right? Ooh, does this man make me feel safe?
22:02
The truth is a man that can't ask you out is not going to make you feel safe, ladies.
22:06
A man that's scared is not going to make you feel safe. So a man really does
22:10
need to step up and learn how to ask out.
22:14
Men sometimes need instructions. So maybe a man wants to ask you out,
22:18
doesn't know the area, or a man wants to ask you out and he doesn't want to offend you.
22:22
So realize sometimes they need a little bit of help sometimes when they're asking you out.
22:26
There's some cheesy old school pickup lines. I just wanted to go over with you
22:30
real quick because I thought this would be fun.
22:32
One of the cheesy old pickup lines that used to happen now, this is Generation
22:35
X guys and before, but a guy would come up to a woman and say,
22:39
did it hurt when you fell from heaven because you look like an angel? That's a pickup line.
22:44
All right. And then another one could be like, are you a parking ticket because
22:47
you've got fine written all over you.
22:49
Those are some cheesy pickup lines that men use. And it's kind of fun to laugh.
22:53
Sometimes it's an icebreaker when a man uses a cheesy pickup line.
22:57
And a woman usually says, does that actually work for you?
23:00
And sometimes it opens a door for communication. Modern pickup lines tend to
23:04
be more witty, a little short, sometimes sarcastic and intentional, but casual.
23:09
Like you might say on a scale of one to 10, one to America, how free are you Friday night?
23:14
That's a cute little pickup line. And are you always this cute or is it just
23:18
your photos are messing with me?
23:19
So if somebody's FaceTiming you, they might say, hey, are you always this cute
23:23
or are your photos messing with me?
23:24
Oh, or if you're going through a dating app, they might say that as well.
23:28
So then there's, you know, masculine energy is still going to lead you,
23:31
ladies. So they're still going to drive...
23:34
The flirtation comments, but women don't usually use pickup lines because they're
23:38
not usually the ones pursuing.
23:40
And then if you're inviting, a man will enjoy it. Now, confidence is sexy,
23:44
but too much confidence is scary for men, I will say.
23:47
When you're confident, a man will be drawn in.
23:50
It's very sexy for a man to see a woman that's confident and appreciative of
23:54
her own body, appreciative of her own mind, confident in who she is and what
23:59
she can do, not someone that's desperate and weak.
24:02
Men are not into that, ladies. I know a lot of women think, oh,
24:06
I have to be like the fawning dove that's over here. Like, help me, save me, help me.
24:10
They might help you once, but they're not there to just completely save women
24:13
anymore. Things have changed a little bit.
24:16
Men do like confident women. Now, overconfidence or too much confidence can
24:20
scare men because then they're like, wow, I can't keep up.
24:23
And for a man, if you have a very confident woman, sometimes they can't keep up.
24:27
So realize that you're going to, you know, decrease your pool,
24:30
but maybe you want to. If you're very confident, maybe you want to.
24:33
Because sometimes it's good to have a really high, confident, quality man.
24:38
Then don't be over-eager, okay? When somebody is making comments,
24:41
don't, as soon as they do a pickup line, hey, let's go out sometime.
24:45
Don't be over-eager. Let them set the tone. Let them set the vibe.
24:48
And then the best thing always, again, I'm going to go back to authenticity.
24:51
Because when you're acting or making stories or talking and you're not being
24:56
true or fake laughing or over-flirting.
24:59
It's not authentic, ladies, and people pick up on that. Why don't you just learn to be yourself?
25:04
Because you're going to have to be yourself for him to like you anyway. And if, honestly...
25:09
I'm myself with every single guy I go out with. If they don't like me,
25:12
to me, you can move on. Because I'm going to be myself through the whole relationship.
25:16
So if you don't want to know me, that's okay.
25:18
Go find someone else. But I'm going to be my confident self.
25:21
I'm going to be my authentic self. I will find my right person.
25:25
It may take a little bit because I do weed out a lot of non-masculine men.
25:29
Men that are very beta boys because they can't keep up.
25:32
So for me, I'm okay with weeding out those types of people. A masculine person.
25:37
Okay, you're going to lead with purpose. you're going to make a lot of eye contact.
25:40
Men will make eye contact and not look away.
25:43
A masculine man will make definite eye contact.
25:47
And most of the time, if they're really masculine ladies, they're not going to look away.
25:50
It's going to pull you in. If a guy makes really strong eye contact,
25:54
it's really going to pull you in.
25:55
If you're talking to a man and he can't make eye contact, that to me is a red flag. Is he married?
26:00
Is he just too nervous? Is he insecure?
26:02
It's a red flag. But a man will start to ask you curious questions and then
26:06
tease you a little bit. He might make fun of your drink choice.
26:09
He might make fun of, I don't know, something that you're wearing.
26:12
Just don't take it too personally.
26:14
A lot of men tease in order to break the ice or to get over their nervousness.
26:18
And then they also compliment.
26:20
So they'll say, oh, you have beautiful eyes. So usually they'll tease a little
26:23
bit and then they'll tell you, you know, you have beautiful eyes or your hair is gorgeous.
26:26
Or something, maybe not the word gorgeous. They might say, I love your hair.
26:29
I love your curls. I love your straight hair.
26:31
Those types of things. So men will compliment. And then they hopefully will
26:35
maintain a calm confidence.
26:36
If a man is very erratic, that's kind of a red flag for just be careful with that person.
26:42
If they're not calm and they're freaking out a little bit, that's a red flag
26:46
to me. This is probably not the person you want to be talking to anyway.
26:48
So realize that. If they're overly nervous, it can be a red flag.
26:53
And then they're also grounded, but not performative. And so if they're grounding,
26:58
they're going to be real.
26:59
They're going to talk to you about real things. They're probably going to talk
27:01
to you about their job a little bit, but they're not going to overly boast.
27:04
If you get a guy that's overly boasting or trying to perform for you,
27:08
it's kind of a red flag that he's a narcissist. It really is.
27:11
If he's bragging about himself so much, it's kind of like, women lose interest in that, guys.
27:16
It's okay to say, yeah, this is what I do. But then spending an hour talking
27:21
about yourself is just, a woman's probably going to walk away before the hour is up, honestly.
27:25
So that's not a good flirtation to just sit there and brag about yourself, guys.
27:29
One of the things men might say to a woman is, I like how passionate you are when we talk.
27:33
I like how your energy is warm. You really do attract me. I'm really into you.
27:38
I really want to spend time with you.
27:40
Those are things that are flirtatious that a man may say, and they're very direct.
27:44
And women, you should be able to pick up on these cues. Men that are direct,
27:48
and I would say the majority of men are direct, will tell you exactly what they want.
27:52
I've had a man tell me he wanted to go to a hotel room with me.
27:54
Now, that happened, but I did have a man tell me. At least he was direct, okay?
27:58
It made me a little nervous, and I kind of tried to get back to my car before he walked me back.
28:02
Yeah, it made me a little nervous, but some men are overly direct.
28:05
So they tend to tell you what they want, though.
28:07
So for a woman, if you smile more often at them or you're cheerful...
28:12
Men like that. Men like to see your smile. And they like to see soft eyes.
28:15
They don't like to see angry eyes. So don't get angry. Don't get overly impassioned.
28:19
Be energetic without, like, over-the-top emotion.
28:22
And then show your warmth and openness. Men like to be cared for.
28:26
That's what they're looking for. Or they wouldn't even be dating.
28:29
I mean, let's think about this, ladies. the purpose of dating for a woman typically
28:33
is she wants a man to make her feel safe.
28:35
She's looking for a man to be a provider or at least a good partner, okay?
28:40
And someone that can either take care of her, can take care of her children
28:43
on bad days because it's lovely to be able to lead on a man.
28:47
And a man is looking for someone to help nurture them. Now, they shouldn't be
28:51
looking for a mommy, okay?
28:52
Because men still need to stand on their own. And I get that.
28:54
There's a lot of men out there looking for moms.
28:56
But they are looking for someone soft, someone that can nurture them,
28:59
someone that can care for them, and take some of the weight off of the world
29:03
that they have to deal with.
29:04
Now, we have a lot of weight, too, and your partner will balance you.
29:07
And hopefully you'll be reciprocal with this. And when I say reciprocal,
29:11
you give, they give, not you give, you give, you give, and they take, take, take.
29:15
That's not reciprocity. So when you're reciprocal with people,
29:19
you're giving and taking.
29:21
You're giving to each other. You're both making each other feel good,
29:23
both making each other feel peace.
29:25
That's the whole purpose of what is considered companionship.
29:29
And the reason why people are dating.
29:30
Now, some people say they're dating to have sex, and that's a whole different podcast.
29:35
I'm talking more today about dating to actually find a partner that gives you
29:39
companionship and care and concern and love and butterflies and makes you feel
29:45
like you're the only person in the world, and you should be the only person in the world to them.
29:49
So mirror their energy. If they're warm and open, be warm and open with them.
29:54
It is, if they're closed and open,
29:57
And here's one thing. One of the things that we do in sales is that you mirror someone's vocal.
30:03
Like, so if they're loud, you can be loud. If they're quiet,
30:06
you can be you can talk softly.
30:07
If they talk fast, talk fast. If they talk slow, slow down your roll a little
30:11
bit. And it helps calm men.
30:14
And if they can see you do this, then they're going to be more open to asking
30:18
you out on a date. And then don't forget to compliment his efforts.
30:21
Not necessarily as the parents. Men, if they look really good or they smell
30:25
really good, you might want to compliment them. because I've had some that just
30:27
are delicious when they smell, but they have a gorgeous cologne that just fits
30:31
them. But compliment his efforts.
30:33
Say, hey, thanks so much for asking me out. I'd love to go out with you.
30:37
Or thanks so much for putting together this date.
30:39
It's going to be great. We're going to have lots of fun. If they organized it,
30:43
if they scheduled it, and then just compliment any of his efforts.
30:46
If he opens the car door for you, which all men should, by the way,
30:49
if he's opening the car door for you, say thank you so much.
30:52
Okay, just get in the use of complimenting.
30:55
And then give him a small invitation to move closer. So if, for instance,
30:58
if he's talking to you and there's a chair between you and you're at a bar and
31:03
your purse is on it, you can always give him a look, grab your purse,
31:07
and then give him a look back.
31:08
If he still doesn't get it, you can always say, tap on the chair and say you
31:11
want to sit closer. You can be direct too, ladies.
31:14
And then some of the compliments men like to hear is, I love how decisive you
31:18
are. I love how you speak to me. I feel relaxed when I talk to you.
31:22
And you make me feel safe. Now, I wouldn't be saying this if it wasn't true, ladies.
31:26
Don't be making these statements if they're not true. But a man should be making
31:30
you feel safe. If a man's not making you feel safe, again, another red flag.
31:33
Now, let's talk about specifically flirting on dating apps. Because this is
31:37
all about flirting. And we all need improvement on flirting, I think.
31:41
So when a man flirts on a dating app, don't say hey or hi or what's up.
31:47
Or how you doing. You need to look at her profile and start a conversation based
31:52
off of something on her profile.
31:53
Now, I know a lot of times, men, you're just swiping through people.
31:56
But if somebody really catches your eye and you want to be seriously flirting
32:00
with her, you need to look at her profile and then comment on it.
32:03
You need to keep the comments short and intentional, not just drag on the forever
32:08
texting, because it is really up to you, men.
32:10
I keep hearing men say, I don't want a forever text partner.
32:13
I don't want a pen pal. Well, you're the ones driving the communication.
32:17
So if you don't want a forever text partner, you need to start being decisive
32:20
and make a decision on what you're going to do.
32:22
So just realize that, too. You're the ones that drive this.
32:26
So I would say keep the messages short. You might say, hey, I saw that you're
32:30
really into hiking. What places do you like to hike?
32:33
Or, hey, I thought that you might be interested in going out dancing sometime
32:38
because you like to go out dancing.
32:39
You're going to want to maybe have 10 to 20 exchanges on text messages no more.
32:44
Some people say keep it to seven, seven to 20.
32:47
That's a good range. And then I, after seven to 20 exchanges,
32:50
really thought out text exchanges, then you should probably ask her out or at
32:56
least get a phone call or a FaceTime with her.
32:59
If you're texting hundreds of times, you've got a pen pal and you created the pen pal.
33:04
It's up to you to drive the dating.
33:06
OK, it really is. You can also use voice notes. I really like using voice notes.
33:10
Now, granted, I have a really nice voice, I think.
33:12
And so I like to voice message people and leave voice notes either in the dating app or in text message.
33:19
And the reason is because then they kind of get to know you a little bit more.
33:22
Because texting is very dry.
33:24
But when you voice note someone, they can hear kind of your personality a little
33:28
bit when you give them a voice note. They can hear if you're cheerful.
33:30
They can hear if you're depressed. They can hear if you're negative.
33:33
All that comes across in a voice note. And people pick up on those cues. You can't hold it back.
33:38
And then send warm, send confident compliments to the woman.
33:42
Tell her how pretty she is. But make sure it's authentic. Always be authentic.
33:45
Don't tell her she has great hair and she's bald or balding.
33:49
Be nice okay but send warm compliments one
33:52
one thing to open is i love that you travel solo what's
33:55
your favorite place to go where have you been those are
33:58
types of things a man can start a conversation with to flirt i love the fact
34:02
that you have been sky jumping how many times have you jumped out of a plane
34:06
those are types of things just ask about her great flirtation and there's no
34:10
line it's and it doesn't take much thought guys it takes two minutes to fully
34:14
scan a woman's profile if lost,
34:16
And you'll get more dates out of this. If you text people hi,
34:20
hey, or a wave, I'm sorry, that's a turnoff.
34:23
Because you basically show no effort.
34:25
A woman doesn't date a man that has no effort in him. If you're going to show
34:29
no effort flirting, you're going to show no effort when I'm dating you.
34:33
All right, so women. Let's talk about how women should flirt.
34:36
So we need to respond with curiosity.
34:39
I've traveled to Scotland and Britain and Japan.
34:43
Have you ever been to any of these places? That's a way to respond with curiosity.
34:48
Do you like to travel as well? How many places have you been to?
34:52
Kind of be reciprocal on their questions. Find out more about them.
34:55
Now, ladies, you can also check out their profile and find out more questions
34:59
and ask very curious questions for them.
35:01
And then men like to see emojis. Now, I believe when you're flirting,
35:05
the hug emoji is probably better than the kiss emoji, but that's up to you.
35:08
Some people like to give the kiss emoji when there's something cute or playful said.
35:12
I'm not big in sending sex emojis when you haven't gone on a date with people,
35:16
but that's your choice. Keep it playful.
35:18
Now, I have, I will tell you, the people that go straight into sending me pics
35:22
that are unsolicited, they just get canceled.
35:24
So if a man's sending you a dick pic, two or three texts in,
35:27
It's a red flag. They're just looking for a sex toy.
35:30
And if that's what you want, that's fine. But if you're looking for someone
35:33
that's committed to you, that's not going to be what you're going to get from
35:37
that relationship. He's just going to be a player or an F boy.
35:40
And that's what he's looking for. And at least he was honest,
35:42
right? At least he told you up front, this is what I'm looking for.
35:44
And if you're not, then just move on. So be playful.
35:48
And anybody that constantly goes straight for sex with flirtation, it's also a red flag.
35:54
And then give him a window, ask you out, say, look, I am traveling next week,
35:57
but I'm available the following week.
35:59
So if you get into like 7 to 10 texts and he says, hey, I'd like to ask you
36:04
out sometime, well, just give him a window.
36:05
I'm available Monday through Wednesday at 6 o'clock and Saturday at 9 or something,
36:11
whatever your times are.
36:12
And just let him know when you're available. If you give them a window,
36:16
they're more likely to ask you out.
36:17
And it gives men a little bit of direction without leading them,
36:20
ladies. Just a little bit of direction sometimes men need.
36:23
And then, again, short voice notes from a woman are very sexy.
36:26
Men love to hear a woman's voice because it calms them.
36:30
It gives them a reassurance and
36:32
makes them feel like they're headed in the right direction with a woman.
36:35
Because if they hear your voice, A, they think that you're real and not just
36:39
some scammer. And B, it just gives them more encouragement to ask you out because
36:43
you took the time to show them some appreciation by giving them a voice note.
36:48
And a woman, if you are pursuing a man, you can say, I like your smile.
36:51
I like the fact you laugh on pictures.
36:53
I tend to not pursue men on dating apps, but I did pursue one one time where
36:58
I said, hey, I see that you're from this location and it's kind of interesting.
37:03
Might be nice to be friends.
37:05
Those types of things you can pursue, but don't overdo it, okay?
37:10
Still let the man lead before your first date. So now that we've gotten through
37:13
the dating apps, we flirted a little bit in bars, now we're going to go flirt before your first date.
37:17
So this is where your chemistry starts before you even meet.
37:21
So when you talk to someone, if you can talk to them on the phone for a couple
37:24
hours and kind of lose track of time, that's a good sign.
37:27
It's a good sign that you have some automatic chemistry.
37:30
If you talk to someone and it's painful and you can't wait to get off the phone,
37:34
you may not even want to go on a date with them ladies, honestly, if.
37:38
If you have no chemistry on the phone, it's unlikely you're going to have chemistry face-to-face.
37:42
And one time I did try to go on a date with a person that I had very little
37:47
chemistry over the phone because all he did was talk about how amazing he was.
37:51
And I kind of was just losing interest, but I went anyway just to try it out.
37:55
And I will say it was a terrible day. It was absolutely miserable.
37:58
So if you have no chemistry on the phone, don't waste your time.
38:01
That's why I love talking to people on the phone first because why do you want to go get ready?
38:05
Why do you want to do your hair? Why do you want to, you know,
38:08
get your nails done? All this stuff a woman has to do to get ready for a date.
38:12
I mean, I spend a couple hundred dollars getting ready for a date sometimes.
38:15
So if you're going to spend all this time and money getting ready for a date,
38:18
why do you want to go out with somebody that's not worth your time?
38:20
So really pre-screen a lot.
38:22
So you're going to pre-screen on the dating apps before, then you're going to
38:25
pre-screen again when you talk to them on the phone.
38:27
And then confirm. Men, you're going to have to confirm up these times and locations.
38:31
I want you to confirm when it's set and then firm up again either the day before,
38:35
the night before, or the morning of.
38:37
Just confirming we're set for five o'clock tonight.
38:40
Can't wait to see you at such and such location.
38:43
Now, most of the time, people are going to meet you there. Most of the time,
38:46
you're not picking up the woman anymore. That has changed.
38:48
Most women will not get into a car with a stranger. Unless you're in a smaller
38:51
town or you've met the person in advance, most of the time you're not picking them up.
38:55
Confirm the time and location of where you're going to meet with confidence.
38:59
Don't say, hey, just wanted to make sure we're still on. I don't hear from you.
39:02
I don't know if we're still going to.
39:04
That's lacking confidence. They Just, I'm confirming time and date.
39:06
Can't wait to see you tonight.
39:07
Don't question it. You can anticipate what the reaction is going to be if you're confident.
39:13
If you lack confidence, it's really going to hurt you.
39:16
Don't over text. If you don't hear from them in an hour, don't text them five
39:19
more times. Hey, just checking in to make sure we're still on.
39:22
Don't do that because women have busy things too.
39:25
We have things going on and we may not be able to get back to you right away.
39:28
Now, if you've texted the night before and you don't hear back and it's an hour
39:32
before your date, you might want to give her a call.
39:34
You might just to say, hey, before I drive out, I just want to make sure you're
39:38
okay and we're still meeting today. I would do that just to make sure you're
39:41
still on the same. A nice one would be I'm looking forward to seeing you.
39:43
The place is business casual or the place is very casual. Whatever you did, men, to set up this date.
39:50
Women, you need to respond softly. Don't be too over the top or excited.
39:54
You're going to scare a guy away if you text multiple times, too.
39:58
If you're texting like five, six times in a row, hey, I can't wait to see you
40:01
tonight. Do I need to bring anything?
40:03
What will you be looking like? Where am I going to sit? I mean,
40:05
if you do that, it's over the top. You're going to scare men away, too.
40:08
So don't scare the men away and the women away before you guys even start dating.
40:12
You can send a light compliment. You can say, I'm excited, too.
40:15
You have great energy. I look forward to meeting you.
40:17
Those are nice compliments that you can send and say, hey, we're on the same
40:20
page. This is going to be interesting.
40:22
And then when you get there, you can figure it out. Now, remember,
40:25
you've already flirted on text if it's a dating app.
40:27
You've already flirted on the phone. Now you're doing some basic flirtation
40:31
before your date, and then you get to see if there's real chemistry.
40:35
I mean, you may have had chemistry on the phone, but let's see if there's actual
40:37
true chemistry. And don't over-message. Women that over-message, they look desperate.
40:42
They look like they don't know what they're doing, and it's a sign of desperation.
40:47
All right. Now, if you're flirting on future dates, chemistry changes a little bit.
40:52
OK, so after your first dates, emotional flirting, deeper emotional flirting
40:56
starts. And a lot of people get lost with this.
40:59
Sometimes on the first date you get lost. Sometimes men get so wrapped up in
41:03
their heads, they don't know how to flirt back.
41:05
Like, for instance, maybe you're in a darkly lit place and you slide over next
41:10
to them and they don't know what to do.
41:12
They keep their hands on their lap. They don't touch your hand.
41:15
It makes them nervous. So realize men sometimes are very nervous.
41:19
Men will flirt with you on dates 1 through 3, 1 to 5 by showing you more of
41:23
their world. They might show you where they work. They might show you their house.
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They might take you somewhere in their car. They might show you what they like.
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They might take you to a concert to see if you like the same type of bands they like.
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And women flirt by just being soft and vulnerable and receive.
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I mean, it's very easy, ladies. You don't have to make rocket science out of
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this. Just be open to allow a man to show you who he is.
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And this is kind of the cat and mouse that's normal.
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The cat and mouse of lying to people, not texting right back,
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being manipulated, that's not normal. But when a man shows you who he is,
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and you receive, that's kind of a cat and mouse that's acceptable.
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A man wants to show you who he is to see if you're both still interested.
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And a woman should be open to seeing a man and seeing him for who he is.
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And if you don't like him, ladies, dates one to three is the time to determine that.
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I mean, really, by the third date, you should really have a good understanding
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of whether you like this man.
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And touch should naturally happen. Like, he might hold your hand.
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He might put his hand on your back.
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That should be natural. If it feels creepy, it's probably a red flag that your
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intuition is trying to tell you this is not a good fit.
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But men definitely will lead with physical progression. Now,
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you absolutely have the right to slow things down. We control the pace.
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They can initiate stuff, but we control the pace. So if you're not into him
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putting his hand on your knee, that's okay. Maybe just take his hand and hold his hand.
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That's fine. That's just slowing down the pace a little bit.
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By dates four to six, I mean, you're going to be teasing him.
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You're going to have similar love languages, hopefully.
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You're going to have inside jokes that you can make together.
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You can laugh together. You're going to laugh about some of the stupid stuff that's happened.
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And then, you know, eye contact. You can stare deeply into someone's eyes and it feels normal.
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And flirting is just going to be emotional. It's just going to be completely
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connection. It's all about connection by the third to sixth date.
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And be authentic. I can't say this enough. I really can't.
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I'm so tired of people being fake in order to try to win someone.
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And then when they win them, it breaks up right away because the person eventually
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will see who you are and you just wasted three to six months of your life and theirs.
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Okay, so don't fake. Don't be fake flirty. Don't be lying. Don't be dishonest
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with who you are. And don't force the compliments.
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Don't lie to the person in order to try to get them drawn in.
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Be honest. Be true. And again, I don't think you should over-sexualize too early.
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I think some people say it's like a 90-day wait for sex. That's going to be your choice.
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It kind of changes the relationship. And some people have sex the first day, second day, third day.
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But it does, you kind of start losing connection with the person when you do
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because you're not learning about them.
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You're not talking to them. And don't try to impress.
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If you're trying to impress someone by telling them big, bold stories,
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you're just going to turn them off on both sides because the reality is you
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should be true and tell people who you are.
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And don't pretend to be busy when you're not just so you can ignore someone
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and play a manipulation game.
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It's so rude. I'm sorry, it's just so rude. If someone texts you and you don't
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text them back within three to five hours, it's obvious you're playing a game. It really is.
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People have their phones on them all the time. Now, if it happened once, maybe.
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But if it happens consistently, they're just a game player. You don't want someone like that.
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And then when you do eye contact, ladies and men, especially on the second,
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third, fourth date, don't look away. It makes you seem dishonest.
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And be completely curious about the other person.
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If you can be curious about the other person, you'll learn everything you need
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to know within the first probably two to three months of whether you want to
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spend your time with this person. Now sometimes people will come on strong and
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they just feel a really strong connection and they go all in right away.
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It's okay as long as the other person's on the same page. You have to worry
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about this about scaring people away.
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So if you're too over the top and the person's not ready for a full commitment.
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You might scare them away and they might just stop dating you.
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So just realize that as well. And then compliments, they have to feel real.
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If somebody tells me they love my straight hair when I have curly hair,
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it's just not going to work for me. If somebody compliments something on me and they,
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I'm not feeling it, like, that would be an insult.
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You have to realize that compliments, they have to be real.
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And instead of trying to perform and act someone that you're not,
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give warmth, give patience, give grace.
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And honestly, guys, flirting should lead to a relationship, and the relationship
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should not really change at all.
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Because they always talk about the honeymoon stage.
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And yes, there's a honeymoon stage before you truly know everybody,
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and you're still flirting a little bit, you're still getting to know someone.
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But if you're not authentic in the beginning, the honeymoon stage can end in catastrophe.
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Because your honeymoon stage should last into your relationship.
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You should still enjoy patting your partner on the butt or giving them kisses
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or hugs. Those things shouldn't change.
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That's what a true relationship needs to grow into if you truly find a great partner.
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And if you're energetic, hopefully they are.
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Or if not, maybe they balance your energy out. Either way, you need to find
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something that feels good for you. So I'm just going to give you, I'm trying to wrap it up.
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I know I've gone a little long on the flirtation today, but I wanted to give
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you like, let's say, 10 things that you think of when you flirt and how to practice
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getting better at flirting because that's, it's very important.
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Guys, flirting, it's the doorway to open any type of relationship.
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When you want to get better at flirting, practice eye contact in the mirror
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with yourself, okay? Practice eye contact with other people.
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Practice eye contact with friends. Practice eye contact with family members.
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Now, if you're a woman, don't be doing sexy eye contact with someone that's
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a family member. It might be a little odd. Or a best friend.
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That might be a little odd, too. You may not.
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Get what you want. But practice eye contact. You can do it with strangers.
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You can do it with anyone.
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The more you can practice focusing and looking at another person when they talk
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to you, the better you're going to be at flirting, the better you're going to
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be at dating. And then smile at strangers.
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Just smile. A smile is free. We forget that a smile is free.
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People walk around with scrowls on their face all day and it drives me nuts.
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But you give someone a smile and most likely they will smile back.
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Now, some don't. Don't get me wrong. Some don't.
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Some have nasty attitudes, but that's okay because those are the type of people
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I don't really want to know anyway.
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But smile at strangers. See if you can get a smile back. Smiles are free.
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Give them freely. Give them all day long. And the more you smile,
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the more you'll be able to smile when you're flirting.
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And then I always recommend that you compliment at least one person a day.
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I recommend giving five compliments a day or six. Give as many as you can.
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Don't limit it to one, but a minimum, a bare minimum of one, a true compliment.
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And you're going to find that the people around you appreciate you more because you compliment them.
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And then also use your body language. So you can start to use your body language,
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not in a sexual way towards friends and family, but just in a way that maybe opens you up.
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Like you'll see if you cross your arms, people will maybe be more closed off.
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But if you open your arms, maybe palms up, people will be more open to you.
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Body language is huge, guys.
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It's one of the biggest parts of communication. So when you're in front of someone
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and use body language, it's very important to know how to communicate with your body. And then.
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Practice conversations with your friends and family. This is number five. I'm almost there, guys.
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Practice curiosity with your friends and family. Okay, so listen to their stories.
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Go talk to your grandpa, your grandma, and eagerly listen to their story.
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Talk to your parent. Eagerly listen. And I'm talking to adults,
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so talk to your grandfather, your parent, or a friend, or a coworker,
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and eagerly listen, because that's what you need to do with your partner.
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And honestly, guys, that should never change.
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You shouldn't be texting while your partner's telling your story.
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I went to a restaurant the other day and it looked like this couple had been
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together forever and they were probably in their 70s and the woman was talking
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on the phone and the man was just sitting there looking at his phone and then
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he put it down and he just looked at her and you could tell he just felt unwanted
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because all she did was talk on the phone,
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completely ignored her partner and it was just an uncomfortable scene.
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That's not the relationship you want. You want to be curious about the other
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person forever and it's funny that you'll learn If you're curious about your
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partner, you'll learn things about them all the way until the day you die. You really will.
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And then do something bold for each other each week. Maybe show up when they
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weren't expecting you or give them a message or anything.
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Maybe send them a little meme or a video, but always smile when you see them.
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There's something to be said about dogs.
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When you come home from work and your dog is waiting on you and wagging his
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tail with a big old grin on his face and can't wait to see you,
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wouldn't it be nice if that's how your partner greeted you?
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Because that's what we're looking for in true companionship. So be bold.
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Smile when you see them on first meeting. Smile when you see them on your first date.
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Don't give them a dirty look thinking you're playing a game.
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And then try to compliment them first off the bat. Say, oh, you look very nice
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today, or oh, you smell great, or oh, thanks for showing up on time.
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Just be appreciative. Record yourself talking in a warm voice.
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If you don't have a warm voice, figure out how to make one. If you have a high-pitched,
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ratty voice that doesn't sound good to listen to yourself, why do you think
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other people would want to listen to it?
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That's the truth. And you can work on voice inflections and voice and change
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your voice. I used to have a little voice that sounded like a little kid.
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Up until I was about 28 years old, I sounded like a little kid, like a little girl.
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And people thought I was like 12, 13 years old because my voice was so,
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it was a higher pitched voice and it was, it was very energetic,
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but it was a little bit too much like a little kid.
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So over time, my voice has changed, but I had to work at it.
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And then move slower. Don't feel like you have to go super fast in order to get someone.
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Dating is a slow, patient process. If you're constantly running around,
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you're going to turn the person off because they're going to be like,
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gosh, she's got so much chaos in her life. I don't know what to do.
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I'm not going to be able to keep up.
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That can turn people off. So just be aware of that.
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Practice when you're with them. This is number nine, guys. Practice being present.
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If you're with someone and you're not listening to them or paying attention
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or you're looking on your phone, you're not present.
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Why do I want to spend my time with someone who can't even give me the time
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of day? And that's a saying that's true.
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If I looked at you and gave you the time of day, you wouldn't even know because
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you're so out of it. You might even not hear me.
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So be present with the person you're talking to. Get off the phones.
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If you're talking on your phone or texting while you're on a date,
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you're not going to get a second date.
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I don't know anyone who will put up with that much disrespect, honestly.
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Then just stay in your masculine or feminine energy. That's the beauty of this.
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You may be a boss, babe. You may work hard and constantly be in your masculine at work.
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But when you come back or you go on a date, it is nice to just be you and relax and be in your feminine.
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It is a peaceful place to be. You shouldn't have to be running the date.
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You shouldn't have to be driving. That's the man's job.
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Men want to let them. Flirting, it's a skill.
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It takes time and most people don't know how to flirt. But this is how you're
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going to get better dates. And this is what dating should feel like.
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Otherwise, you're going to fall flat on your face. If you're a terrible flirter
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on your dates, you may not get a second date. And that's the truth.
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But it's not about perfection. It's about energy. If you screw something up, just claim it.
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Like if you got all nervous and you weren't able to kiss her or you weren't
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able to give her a hug because you were too nervous, come clean.
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Just send her a text. Say, I felt so embarrassed. I was so nervous because I really like you.
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That will open her up to say, oh, this is a man that I could date because he's
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vulnerable. Women like to see men vulnerable, not necessarily, like, weak, but open.
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And emotionally mature enough to share their feelings because we want to know how you feel.
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It's about showing interest in a way that makes a woman feel safe and a man
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feel safe. A man still has to feel safe with you, ladies, but it should also be sexy and confident.
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The more confident you are in the sexier, that's going to make a man feel masculine.
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The man's going to lead. He really should. His energy is to lead.
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That makes him feel like a man.
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If you demasculate your man when you're dating him, you're never going to have a man.
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A woman needs to be inviting and receiving. She needs to accept the energy that
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a man gives and then give it back to the man.
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It's kind of a circular movement, but authentic energy overall is going to attract
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the best men, and you're going to find that too.
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When you learn to flirt intentionally, dating becomes fun again.
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It is joyful, and you tend to attract better men too, I will say.
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When you date the right men and date a higher quality man, you're going to be
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happier too, and finding your soulmate becomes a lot easier,
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but you can't do it if you're not authentic.
53:48
So I hope this helps. I hope that you've learned a little bit about how to flirt,
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how to attract the right men, and how to get back out there if you've been kind of stagnant.
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Now again, if you're not, if you're terrible at flirting or you're angry all
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the time or sad all the time, go work on yourself first before you even get into the flirting.
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But if you're ready to start dating, this is step one. This is flirtation and
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flirting from before you meet them all the way through your first few dates.
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Hopefully that helps and you learned something new today.
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I know I am here to answer any questions that you have, and I hope you have
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a wonderful week. This is Diva Mia signing off. Take care.
55:07
Transcription by CastingWords research and accurate to the best of our knowledge
55:09
at the time of recording. Information may change over time.
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No guarantees are made regarding the accuracy, completeness,
55:12
or reliability of any statements or opinions presented. It is a responsibility
55:14
of the listener to verify any and all facts that may influence their decision.
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This podcast is for information and entertainment purposes only and should not
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be considered professional advice.