Latest / Sister Friend / 4 - Can I Be Mean for a Sec?

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4 - Can I Be Mean for a Sec? · Sister Friend

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_03: Sister friend podcast may contain explicit content.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_03: Listener discretion is advised.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_03: Recording in progress.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_03: Las Vegas, Toronto.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_03: Las Vegas, Toronto.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_05: Hot hot mic.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_05: Hot hot mic.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_05: How the hell how the hell are you?
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_05: Adeline?
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_05: Oh no.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_05: I don't even know where to start.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_05: I'll start with yesterday.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_05: I had an acting class where I had to act like a demon.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_05: As you know, and I blew my vocal cords because You dropped in, of course.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_05: The veil, the veil is thin, and Sure.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_05: And I am an actor and I'm going to drop in.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_05: That's it's not a question.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_05: I called you after the class and I told you.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_03: You did.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_03: You did, and I I did have privy information to this.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_03: I have a follow-up question, which is isn't this the shit they taught you in BFA acting class of like how to be a demon but not lose your voice to the demon?
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_03: Do you know what I mean?
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_05: Like I was never taught, I was never taught demon.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_05: I was never taught demon.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_05: And thank you for the same thing.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_05: That was in the B FFA.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you for finer arts.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_05: Questioning my education and training, I am a trained actor, and I just not in demonology.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_05: And as you know, the veil is thin.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_05: Of course.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_05: The rage is deep.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_05: And when when told that I can go off as many times as I want, and we're gonna get two takes.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_05: And well, you took it.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_05: I took it and it was set up so that we were sitting on a block and there was uh like a cool door behind us with and he lit it so that we were lit from underneath and he was shooting us from underneath.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_05: And so it looked really scary, and he happened to have a hospital gown, so of course I put that on.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_03: Of course, put my hair in.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_03: I mean you honestly should have brought your own.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_05: Could have brought my own from my multiple stays.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_05: No, I wish I had money for that.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_03: Um would love that.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_05: Honestly, I I would love maybe not a full rehab asylum, but if there's like a a med spa wellness retreat, sure, like if there's a yoga class, uh you would think I was just talking to my friend who went to like a very exclusive like fancy schmancy retreat in Joshua Tree where you are given a strict diet of just juices, soups, and teas.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_03: I'm out.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_03: Don't talk about my diet.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_05: And you get a kolonic every day, which I've never gotten a kolonic.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_05: I know I know it must be an experience.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_05: I'll say that.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_03: I have no interest.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_05: I don't want to.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_05: Do you know what my first question was, Addie?
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_05: My first question was Did you act like a demon?
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_05: Is that part of it?
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_05: I said, Were there speeches?
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_05: And she goes, What do you mean?
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_05: And I said, Did you have to attend lectures?
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_05: Like seminars?
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_05: And she goes, Well, they were offered.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_05: You could do that or you could get a facial.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_03: And I was like, Well, obviously, I know what I would do.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_03: I was like depends.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_03: Although honestly, it depends on the seminar.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_03: Because like Jake and I have done a festival called Lightning in a Bottle, and they have like really funky, cool seminars.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_03: And sometimes I'm like, that's sometimes it's like we're all descendants from mushrooms, which is insane.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_03: But then other seminars are like yoga with your vegan uh vega nerve, which is like actually based in science.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_03: So I don't know.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_05: I'm not I'm here to say I love to learn, I love a lecture, and it sounded like the courses that were offered were interesting.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_05: I just know myself, and you know I hate being told what to do, especially on my time off.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, especially vacation.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_03: I a retreat sounds nice in theory to me, but then I thought about it and I was like, actually, yeah, I might actually hate that because I think I would need it to have a brochure given to me in advance so that I could pre-select the schedule and seminars I wanted to attend.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_03: Uh our community college in our hometown, the summer camps you would do.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_03: And it's like this summer.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_03: I love that.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_03: That I built and let me plan and control.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_03: I don't make me decide do you want a facial or to feel guilty about not getting new information that you paid a lot of money for.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_03: Because I'm gonna pick the facial.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_05: Of course, I'm gonna pick the facial reports.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_05: And if you hear little water sounds, it's because Sylvia is lapping up water like you wouldn't believe.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_03: So after acting fine, she's exhausted after going to Joshua Tree for her retreat.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_05: She got a kolonic.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_05: I brought her my friend first kolonic.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_03: My friend went on a Joshua Tree retreat.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_03: It was Sylvia Plath, the dog.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_05: Her name's Sylvia Plath.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_05: And you see her with like an old Hollywood like scarf around her face and like glasses.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_04: Yep.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_04: I got you.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_03: So after my demon, um, so I'm sorry, is your friend that went to this thing in your demon class?
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_03: No, no.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_05: This was just I was just thinking about like rules and what are they?
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_05: And anyway, sure.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_05: Kind of a just a tangent just to speak on that.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_05: That's okay.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_05: But yeah.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_05: After the demon class was our dear friend Sabrina and uh Victoria's birthday party, which of course I was like, these are our dear ones.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_05: Of course, I'm gonna go.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_05: I go, I live, I stay until 2 a.m.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, which which is easy to do with them, honestly.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_05: With them, I was like, you know, obviously I was trying to be responsible.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_05: It's on a Tuesday, no less.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_05: And but when you're with the good ones, you're with the good ones.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_05: I haven't gone out dancing and been with fun people in a tenant.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, the wedding I went to was fun.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_05: I had a great time at the wedding I went to, but oh my god.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_03: Like I ascend to a dimension with them that I didn't know existed.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_03: I have to be honest, I I love my husband and I love our families.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_05: Yes.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_03: I think the date I married the love of my life and my bachelorette with them might be hand in hand because we had and they were so fun.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_03: They were the best people to bring.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_03: I'm bummed I couldn't go.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like just getting over a cold.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_03: Well, y'all went to the urn and you lived.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_03: We did, yeah.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_03: We went to a big independent music festival that my husband and his best friend now casually found and own.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_05: Um the place where they had their birthday party was the same place that you that the yarn had their big event in LA that was there's city sessions.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_03: So if you're not a big festival, music festival camper, which respect, I get it.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_03: Cecily famously was like, I'm not of camper, not my cup of tea, heard.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_03: If that is you, don't like being and you live in the Los Angeles area, come to a city session at the Virgil or other nights when they do it.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_03: One night only, a bunch of DJs come.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_03: But they're doing all kinds of stuff.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_03: But I will tell you, Cecily, this year the urn was cold.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_03: So it was like cozy fall vibes, bundled up.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_03: It was incredible.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_03: Wait, it was incredible.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_05: It sounds amazing.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_05: So I can do that.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_05: It's just October in LA is a real either or it's gonna maybe be cold made.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_05: Yep, but the chances are slim.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_03: You're not the only one that has that same issue, hence why they occasionally do city sessions.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_03: But look, no matter what your urn is, there's a urn for you.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_03: But yeah, I lived.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_03: I lived, I uh I lived, I got really dusty.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_03: I saw a lot of tarantulas out there.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_03: It was really cool.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_03: What?
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_03: There's tarantulas in that part.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_05: Why are you okay?
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_05: You keep saying things that are making me more scared too.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_03: No, not a hundred of them.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_03: There's just like one or two walking.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_03: It was cool.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_03: A tarantula?
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, babe, we're camping.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_03: We're outside.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_05: A tarantula is like not I expect spiders, but tarantulas.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_03: I respectfully am less concerned with the tarantula because they don't fuck with humans.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_03: They're just like, I'm here to eat mice and other evil critters that could be around your campsite.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_03: And they they don't bother you.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_03: We only saw one and they walk real.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_03: It was cool.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_03: Whatever.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_03: My inner science kid came out, and I will say, I will say I saw it and it was right by the bathrooms because they get, you know, like all the like AC bathrooms and stuff brought up there.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_03: So again, I'm like, I'm camping, but I was leaving the air-conditioned bathrooms to go wash my and and I still was like, that's camping, and I can't do it.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_03: And I respect that.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_03: But as I was walking, I saw one because it was like dusk, and so they come out like bats.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_03: They come out around that time.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_03: That's when the because they're kind of nocturnal.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_03: And one of the newcomers that came, she's very wonderful, but she was a first-time yearner.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_03: So, like, you know, ease gently.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_03: But I was just feeling my pumpkin spice cider I was sipping, and I saw the tarantula, and I was like, I saw a tarantula, and she goes, What?
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_03: Like, just thank you.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_03: A fair response, I think.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_03: And I just I realize most people are not as whimsy as, oh my god, a wild tarantula in the desert.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_03: I just thought a fucking wild tarantula.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_03: If it was on me or in my tent, absolutely not.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_03: I'm talking, you're walking from your tent to the dance floor and it's just chilling, minding its business in its natural habitat that I am invading.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_03: At that point, it's cool.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_05: These are fair points, and I understand we are invading their environment, but if I saw tarantula in the wilds, um, I would flip.
• 9:32
  unknown: Yeah.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_03: I'd be so the worst part is the tarantula did get into a K-hole later on the dance floor, which was like I mean, please listen.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_05: It's so hard to get out of those K-holes once.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_03: I'm kidding.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_03: There's nothing but harm reduction at the urn, but that tarantula didn't fucking turn out.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_05: Tarantula, we were we were worried.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_03: We were tarantula.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_03: We had to get eight little narcans for each of its little legs.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_03: And then he was fine, and the next night he's like, I'm gonna go again.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_03: And we were like, Tarantula, you're really kind of pulling a party foul here.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_03: We're just here to listen to some get your shit together, read the movement like that.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_03: Are you like pushing forty?
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_05: It's like everyone else can handle their shit.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_03: Honestly, it's just out here.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_03: It's not funny.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_03: Honestly, I think I really do think tarantula has a problem.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_03: Like, all jokes aside, we should we should have a tarantula intervention because that tarantula got fucked over the yeah.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_05: That's so like just standing there, you know, sitting there.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_03: He wasn't even standing, he was just kind of crippling along.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_03: Going in a hole, because that's he was literally in a hole.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_03: He was in perhaps a ketamine hole, perhaps an actual hole key dug.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_03: Either way, we should check on it.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_05: How are we to know?
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_05: And we should check, and we'll stage that, of of course.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_05: Do your intervention voice, which you'll have to be more specific, Cecily.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_04: I've seen every episode of intervention.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_03: No, do your intervention.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_03: Look, I don't know what happened during COVID.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_03: I do.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_03: I lost my mind.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_03: Jake and I, for some reason, watched every episode of Hoarders and Intervention.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_03: That was our and look, I I stand by it, they're great pieces, but now what happens is I blend the interventionists from like drug and alcohol addiction, that show, and the hoarders.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yes, hoarders.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_05: Yes.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_03: And I combine them together.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_03: I did that just now.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_03: One is Candy uh Finnegan from Intervention, who is a recovered alcoholic.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_03: Now she's an interventionist.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna be honest, if I could go back in time, would love to have a fucking drink with Candy Finnegan when she was an alcoholic.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_03: She would have been a child.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_03: She is would love that bitch.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_03: I would have loved, but she's my favorite because she's always like, nothing changes if nothing changes.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_03: Oof.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_03: So are you happy here?
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_03: Because if you're not, we're gonna have to change something.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_03: Like she's really cut to the core.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_03: Again, I wish I could have seen her in her drinking years.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_03: She would have been great.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_05: She's still great.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_05: About Captain Sandy on Below Deck Med.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_05: I'm like, God, what's up with Captain?
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_03: Is he an alcoholic?
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_03: Recovered?
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_03: She.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_03: She excuse me.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_03: All right.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_03: Step one, I examine my personal biases.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_05: Captain.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_05: Thank you.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_05: Put respect in the case.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_05: I think she's the best, by the way.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_05: I think she's the captain.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, she's great.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_05: Sorry.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_05: What tree?
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_05: Sylvia's biting my Halloween tree unforgivable.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_05: Oh of course.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_05: Of course.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_03: She's acting.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_03: No, but the uh to answer your question, the hoarders one is that's Dr.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_03: Suzanne Chabot.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_03: And she just she just has a NOLA accent, which I in the first episode across the room while getting snacks or something, I was like, She's from New Orleans, and sure enough, she does all of like the New Orleans Southern-based hoarder interventions.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_05: Oh my god.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_05: Well, maybe I need to get into it, but what does she say?
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_05: She goes, Do you think it's normal?
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_03: And I how what is it called when actors are doing a voice or something and there's like a phrase or a word that helps them get into that accent?
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_03: I call it my way in.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_03: Your way in, but there's a word that actors use where it's like, I can't remember.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_03: I have a really hard time doing a New Orleans accent because I spent years in speech therapy undoing a New Orleans accent.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_03: Sure.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_03: But my trigger word or my way in as you call it for it is the world is the word normal.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_03: Because she goes, You think it's normal to have 50 boxes in your living room?
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_03: Do you think that's Do you think it's normal?
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_03: It's I don't know why.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_03: I never have to do the accent, but that's my way in is normal.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_03: You think it's normal?
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_03: Do you think it's give it to me one more time?
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_03: You think it's normal to have 45 boxes in your living room that you never open?
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_03: Do you think that's normal?
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_03: Do you think normal?
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_03: Do you think it's normal for your kids to eat on the floor because there's no table for them to eat at?
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_03: Do you think it's a small thing?
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_05: Do you think it's normal to do a demon voice on a Tuesday and have your voice shot for a Wednesday day of work?
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_03: Uh do you think it's normal to drop so far into a demon that you kind of lose yourself?
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_05: You think that's normal?
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_05: My teacher was like, Cecil, your eyes went black and you somehow made your teeth longer.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_05: And I said, Greg.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_05: I think it's normal.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_04: I think it's totally normal.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_05: Welcome everyone to the Sister Friend podcast.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_05: That is my sister, Adeline Menton.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_03: And hey, that's my friend Cecily Bro.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_05: Hello.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_05: I have to say, I am really excited to get into this topic with you.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_05: I had the most fun researching it, and it is one of my favorite topics that like is actually quite divisive amongst it's a good um, I find it's a good way in to find like who can be.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_03: It's your it's your way in.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_05: It's in a it's my way in.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_05: It's my way.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_05: It's your way.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_05: My question for you today is can I be mean for a second?
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_03: You think it's normal to be mean for a second.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_05: And then those TikToks of people going, when they hear that, I when I saw that TikTok, I was like, that is mean.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_05: That is me.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_03: I think for me, I have a I'm such a loudmouth that I will never initiate gossip.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_03: And I don't want someone to say, Oh, could I be mean for a second?
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_03: Their level of mean might be very different than mine.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm like It's a good game.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_05: You so I'm like, you take a testing of the water.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_05: It's a testing.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm like, you go ahead and put that first foot in.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_03: Let me know how deep it is.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_03: I need someone to explicitly come up and be like, you know, so Greg's a Greg's a dick.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_03: Like someone that's gotta say it outright.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_03: So no, not our cousin Greg.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_03: Greg's cool.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_03: We love Greg.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_03: Not that Greg.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_03: That's the only Greg I know.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_04: But not Greg.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_03: Not our brother-in-law cousin.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_03: Not brother-in-law cousin Greg.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_03: We love cousin, literally cousin Greg.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_05: We love cousin Greg.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_05: Um, no, I wanted to get into this and with this question because I've always been fascinated by the sociology of gossip.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, that's a good one.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_05: I just love how it's been studied by many, many different people.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_05: I got introduced to the idea of like gossip as a form of evolution by the book um The Social Animal.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_05: Um by what is this man's name?
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_05: You know I don't know a man's name.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_05: Um looking at my notes, looking at my notes.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_03: Tarantula K-hole.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_05: I'm in a tarantula K-hole.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_05: David Brooks.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_05: So David Brooks wrote this book called The Social Animal that I read.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_05: I think I was like a sophomore in high school.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_03: I remember you talking about this during that time.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_05: I actually like recommended it to me, but basically it's a book that I remember that.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_05: Silence neuroscience and like social science research.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, yeah.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_05: Which is like so fascinating to me.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_05: So basically he like has this book.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_05: It's like it waits.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_05: So he like has these two fictional characters called like Harold and Erica, and he tracks their lives from birth to death and like how they meet, and basically talks about like at this point, like Erica's brain is firing this hormone because she is like noticing so like Harold's you know, postures change, like okay, basically using that like the the specific science cues that our bodies release adrenaline or whatever it may be too.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, how cool deteriorate is starting to deteriorate, much like myself.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_05: And so I found that very interesting.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_05: Now, of course, that's fascinating.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_05: The thing he mentioned that I thought was interesting um when I read it in high school was he mentioned that gossip is a form that has been used as a way to um for evolution, basically.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_05: Cool.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_03: I mean that makes sense because you have to learn and evolve.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_03: So like using a dumb caveman who figures out a stone can be a tool.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_03: It's like ooga ooga, that person just used a stone and it opened.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna try that.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_03: Like that word of the city.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_03: Like, ooga booga, let's go hang out with Stone McGee over here.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_05: Stone now has fire, fire guy is our guy.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_05: Like, yeah.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_05: So he basically related it to like in the animal kingdom when there's gazelle and they're all at the watering hole, and they're like, you know, I heard a cheetah.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_05: Did you hear that cheetah?
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_05: And they all like, oh no, I heard that cheetah.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_03: I heard that cheetah's a fucking dick over there.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_03: I heard that cheetah?
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_03: Right there?
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_05: That cheetah, that's just the guy.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_05: And so it's like our animal brains kind of use it.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_05: It's a way of uh disseminating information so that you it's basically warning people of dangers.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_05: Even though I feel like nowadays gossip, anytime I've like ever spoken to a straight man about gossip, they always are like, oh, I don't believe in gossip.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_05: Like I literally had a man tell me I don't believe in gossip.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_05: I think it's shit talking and it's mean.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_05: And that brings me to my next point, which is that gossip is not the same as shit talking.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_05: Now, this is my own this is my own thesis.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_05: Sure.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_05: Shit talking to me at least is mean.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_03: Is black.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_03: It's from And and mean from the jump.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_03: You're not trying to give any new or information that you know that's real and perhaps would be a threat to somebody else.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_03: I actually would argue that shit talking is a defense of yourself.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_03: So like this person's so let's I have I have going back to our animal kingdom.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_03: If I'm another cheetah, okay, and that cheetah's eating all my gazelles, I'm gonna go over here to my cheetah friend and I'm gonna talk shit on him because I'll know I'll never be that cheetah, and it makes me feel better.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_03: And the the purpose of it is not to put information to defend somebody else, it's to put them down so that I look better.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_03: So there is a benefit, but not a new information to help somebody else.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_03: It's just to put yourself up socially.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_03: I would agree.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_05: I find shit talking is the dumb person's gossip.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_05: Gossip is what smart people do.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_05: Shit talking about it.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_05: Girl, that ate.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_05: Thank you.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_02: Girl, come I need to put that on a damn pillow.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_02: Say it again.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_02: I already forgot what you said.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_05: Shit talking is the dumb person's gossip.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_05: That's great.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_05: That's very true.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_03: Gossip is what's because it's it's a dumb and it's a dumb person thing because rather than see someone that's a competitor to you and learn from them of or even maybe use gossip of like, Mattheeta's really crushing it.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_03: What is he up to that's making him so good?
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_03: Learning that information, yeah.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_03: It's instead dumber because you're like, no, no, no, no.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not even gonna open my mind to the possibility that they're better or I have something to learn from.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_03: I could learn.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just gonna put them down and put myself up.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_03: I would agree with that.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_03: Cecily, that's a hot take, and that's great.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_05: That's my hot take.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_05: And I just think Put that on a pillow.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_05: I I will make you embroider a pillow for me.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_05: Any tech, any any crash.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_03: I will make you embroider that.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_05: Embroider that added for me.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_05: Thank you.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_05: I just find shit talking is something like an example that came to my mind was, you know, we live in LA and it's right now a grim place to be.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_05: The entertainment industry seems to be going down faster and faster every day.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_05: Day, but I still have so much admiration for my fellow actors, for my fellow artists, anyone who's a creative who puts themselves out there, I'm like, hell yeah, you know, go off.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_05: But I've been in rooms with people where I've heard people be like, Did you see that so and so is putting on their own like one man show or one woman show?
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_05: And how fucking embarrassing.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_05: And it's just like, well, I'm okay.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_05: Like, yeah, if it were Spencer Pratt putting on a one-man show, then we can all say, What a fucking loser.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_03: Well, then it goes, then that would go to gossip because Spencer Pratt has historically been doing things that hurt Los Angel uh Los Angelinos.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_05: So it's like Los Angelinos.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_03: Los Angelinos.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know why I said it like that.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_03: Sorry.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_03: Los Angelinos.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_02: Give it a little gave it a little space.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_03: No, uh, you know, it's like then that's gossip because you know this person is bad for LA, that they've hurt people and immigrants that come to our city.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_03: Whereas somebody that's doing a one-woman show, perhaps if we're using our jealous cheetah situation, yes, you know that one woman show would be a better one-woman show than you could ever put on.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_03: So you're gonna shit talk to put it down and make yourself feel better during this audition.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_05: Yes.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_05: That's good.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_05: And I think obviously this is all like subjective to, you know, if you And it's a very it is a very fine line.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_03: Because I will say, what often starts is gossip on glass of wine number one with friends.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_05: Absolutely.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_03: My turn to shit talk after a glass of two.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_03: Now I it's a very, it's a very fine line.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_05: There are it's a fine line, and I have to be so clear that I do think that shit talking is necessary for people who are fucking loser monsters.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_05: Like Elon Musk.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_05: I love that people are making fun of him.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_03: I love that his daughter goes.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_05: That his daughter is fucking tearing.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_05: It is the it gives a breath of fresh to see.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_05: I forget who I think it was Emma Thompson said this, but Emma Thompson was like, we all knew the world was going to come to an end, and we thought it was gonna be like the Roman Empire and it was gonna be this great collapse.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_05: No one told me the world would come to an end because of these fucking loser nerds.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know, I don't know if that was officially her.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_03: I'll Google it, but it's a great quote, and I agree with her.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_05: I was like, yes, like to me, that could obviously fall under the umbrella of shit talking, but like it feels so good to direct that kind of venom.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_05: There or it comes a point who is a monster and who is ruining our lives, you know.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_03: There comes a point where there's so much gossip based on valid concerns for a person, that then it's sh fair fair game shit talk because then anything kind of goes, I think, at that point.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_03: If you're a shitty person, you're gonna get shit talked about because all you do is shit all day long.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_03: And then it gets to a point where this is where it really gets into like character, right?
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_03: So if you're a person who's doing shitty things all the fucking time and someone shit talks you, you can't then say that's not true.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_03: Because your character and your reputation in the past has been that of shitty things.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_03: So it's more plausible that shit talk things that could be made up are real because you have proven that over time.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_03: And then shit talk becomes valid.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_05: It becomes valid because the facts, the actions are it there.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_05: We've all seen it.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_05: Either God, we have so much access now to see what everyone's doing.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_05: I found this research paper, it's a research article called Explaining the Evolution of Gossip.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_05: Great.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_05: Um by Vincent Has you?
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_05: I that's so embarrassing, and I'm so sorry, Vincent.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_05: I'm sorry to this man now and Michelle J, um, and someone with the last name Pan, and I'm so sorry that I did not look up how to say your name, but this was a very fascinating article.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_05: Um, so they they argued in their research that the dissemination of information about individuals' reputations leads more individuals to condition their behavior on other people's reputation.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_05: This includes individuals to behave more cooperatively towards gossipers in order to improve their reputation.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_03: That makes sense.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so it's like I know so-and-so is a loudmouth.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I don't ever want to do bad shit in front of them because I know that they will spread that information that could or could not be true.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_05: So I gotta act right because in front of them.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_05: It it forces you.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, if you're, I guess, a smart person who cares about I mean Yeah, I guess.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, if you if you have emp if you have empathy, this isn't an issue.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_05: And people are like person's a piece of shit and treats people terribly and you keep hearing that, um, which a lot of billionaires literally don't care at all.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_05: But if you hear that and you're like, well, I I don't want to be seen as someone who's a bad person, then you would start changing your behavior so you could become more socially acceptable and make you more appealing um to the group, to the herd.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_03: Which can I get a Swifty in here?
• 27:05
  unknown: Yeah.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_03: Some would argue is very much what Taylor Swift's brand identity is happening, because she's reached a point in wealth that really detaches her from her target audience.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_03: So she's really gripping hard to that relatability in any way she can.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_03: Some would say failing, in my humble opinion.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_03: But she's extremely failing.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_03: Extremely failing.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_03: But she's gripping for that because her wealth has gone past what her target audience is like.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_03: So I would argue like she's trying to do exactly what you're saying, which is like, not that they're gossips, but like if her fans don't relate to her as much as they used to, her reputation is no longer what it was.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_03: And that could impact stuff.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_03: And when you don't speak about genocide or anything that's important, people or if you use drag queens to uh make yourself move forward in 2018, and then when legislation comes for them and says they don't have basic human rights, you just fall silent and instead marry a meathead, who frankly is not that great anyway, on the Chiefs and is kind of a mid-tight end, in my opinion.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_03: Other than that, I have no opinion.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_05: Other than that, I have no opinion who you invited to your wedding and who is systematically destroying our earth that you have to have at your wedding that you shut down all of New York.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_05: Anyway, anyway, these are things, this is what I'm saying.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_05: This is all coming out because all of her actions are right there in front of all of us, and like either you see it or you don't.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_05: And if you're living on this earth right now, you are suffering the consequences of billionaires.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_05: So you're like, I'm gonna point out these are contradicting things.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_05: Your lyrics are they don't relate at all, and you're not the good person that you're trying to.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_03: So, for example, using another T Swift thing, one of her lyrics from the 2018 era or whatever was the lyric, uh, sorry, there's a car alarm.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_04: It's all right.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_03: Was the lyric, uh, we all know now we all got crowns, referring to all the women pop stars.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_03: However, in more recent years, there's been an obvious trend where anytime another fellow pop star releases a new album, a new something like that, all of a sudden a new variant pops up to make sure that they block her from that.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_03: So again, lyrically she did that.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_05: She sues me.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_03: Girl, I can't even get I know the the presentation deck I could make about that lore, that's how I know I'm a Swifty, because I know all of this, but my point is she's trying to save a reputation for the gossipers of this is who I am, this is what I stand for, when in reality that doesn't actually stand for nothing.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_05: You stand for nothing, and you've you've lost us, me.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_03: You lost us.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_05: You lost us.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_03: But you lost us, frankly, after midnights.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know how you can make folklore and then a song like Wood.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_05: I I literally can't even get in.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_03: I can't even get into it.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_03: I'm so enraged.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_03: Please continue with your research because I actually will go off for hours.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_05: So my research, um, so their theory or their um thesis is as a result, gossiping has an evolutionary advantage that leads to its proliferation.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_05: The evolution of gossip further facilitates these two functions of gossip and sustains the evolutionary cycle.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_05: They say, and I thought this was interesting, as early as in Mesopotamia, gossiping has prevailed in the cities and markets in ancient Greece.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_05: Stories of gossip were widely recorded in literary works.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_05: So actually, the Odyssey, this is what they list in the research paper, the Odyssey and um ASOC fables, they that you could just call it a ga a gossip rap.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_03: Because I would say also, have you ever seen?
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_03: I've seen it on Reddit, but it's like some of the oldest shit talking ever recorded.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_03: And it's basically this guy that ordered, I think it was cotton or like copper or something like that, but basically chiseled in stone, how this guy completely screwed up the order, basically like doubled him out of money.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_03: It's all I want to say it's in Greek, apologies if I'm wrong, but it's like all in a foreign language, basically being like, so-and-so is a liar.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_03: Do not trust him with business.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_03: It is like the OG shit talking.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like to your point, I do too, but to your point, why would someone sit and carve all of that?
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_03: It's because do not do business with this man.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_03: So gossip, real gossip based on a previous experience of I got fucking gypped out of all this copper.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna chisel a whole damn tablet about it because the world needs to know.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_05: And I will say we aren't allowed to say gypped because it means gypsies.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, I'm sorry.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_05: Withdrawn.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_05: Withdrawn, withdrawn.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_05: No, this is called gossip because we have to inform each other of things.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_05: Good to know.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_05: I just learned this, like I fucking knew.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I don't know those things.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_03: He was he was played by a bad businessman.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_05: And to me, I'm like, that's the oldest Yelp review.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, if that's what Yelp reviews are, you know, people are like, don't eat at this restaurant, this establishment.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_03: And we I was gonna we talk about we talked about in our uh our first episode talking about podcasts when Yelp came in with restaurants, it totally changed how restaurants interacted with customers and this and that, because suddenly a Karen who's like, I didn't get my ketchup in time, really will like bring down your thing.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_03: Like, gossip is very powerful.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_05: It's it can close businesses, it can, I mean, it really can.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_05: And so it goes back to the evolution of it of like you want to be in good standing with your customers, obviously, so you can stay in business.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_05: So, for instance, I actually thought about Squirrel, which famously just got listed as a restaurant, like one of the top restaurants in LA this year, 2026.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_05: Do you remember Jam Gates of 2020?
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_05: Of Squirrel.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_03: I no, I don't I don't know this at all.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_03: But I also was at a quick little mental breakdown during 2020.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_03: So I was a little look, I was on a I was on my Animal Crossing Island.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_03: You'll have to catch me up.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sorry.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_05: And I will catch you up.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_05: So Coral is the restaurant that's in Virgil Village, you know, which is near like Silver Lake, you know, and I'm like very close to, you know, both of these areas.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_03: And it's kind of indie hipster spot, maybe?
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_05: Yes, extremely.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_05: And I famously went there once, and it was after I had to deal with bed bugs, and I was in a hazmat suit trying to get all my things anyway.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_05: It was already painted with an experience for me because I just was like so miserable.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_05: But yeah, in 2020, what they're famous for is like their breakfast and their jam.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_05: And people leaked pictures.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_05: Coworkers, workers who employees that were there leaked pictures of the jam vat that they had that had a surface of mold that they were being asked to serve the jam from this vat that had molds and like mix it up so that that's not up to code.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_05: No, obviously, Upton Sinclair would be in arms about this.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_03: The jungle, aka Silver Lake.
• 33:43
  unknown: Silver Lake.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_03: Squirrel.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's not about the meatpacking district and the industrial revolution.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_03: Now it's just about squirrel and silver lake.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_03: That's gross though.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_03: What was there just I don't understand how just laziness?
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_03: What was there?
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_05: For change out the mold that doesn't have mold to store it correctly.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_03: Like this is how I know I'm a good person and have empathy because I'm like, maybe the mold was part of it.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_03: Like, did it give it like a taste or something?
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_05: A cheese.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe it's like a kombucha, like it's a mother.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_03: You gotta leave it.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_05: Nah, girl.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_05: That's on so people, how squirrel fucking lived and survived.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_03: I can't believe its name is also Squirrel.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_05: Squirrel.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_05: Squirrel survived Jam Gate, and it's now 2026, and it's on a fucking best restaurants to visit in LA list of after it was famously jam gated in 2020.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_03: Jam gated, that's amazing.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_03: So that's pretty gross.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_05: That's yeah, food, restaurants, Yelp, like to me, that would that would all fall under gossip.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_05: But if you're a Karen and you want to ruin a business, then that would be shit talking to me.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_05: But some businesses are terrible to customers, and maybe people need to know that.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_03: So, like so perhaps shit talking is when it truly is based on false accusations, there's truly no evidence to support it.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_03: Um then it is just you're trying to take someone down.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_03: And that's where I think a Karen situation comes in, where it's like, you didn't make my coffee fast enough, they're so slow here.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_03: It's like, or did you come four minutes before close and we said we just need an extra minute?
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_03: Like, how much of it you know what I mean?
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, because like everyone's living their version of the truth.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_05: They are their the protagonist of their own story.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, they're the main character.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_05: They're like, this was done to me.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_05: And if you're someone who's not trying to learn and grow and be a better person and learn from your mistakes, then you can just live in this bubble of correctness, you know, and superiority all the time.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_05: I would say too me, where I'm like, I'm wrong, I'm always wrong.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_05: I'm operating from wrong, wrong, scrap it, wrong, scrap, scrap it all, it's all bad.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_03: No, I was gonna say almost the opposite to what you just said, which is I have a feeling I I used to, I guess when I was younger, when probably when I was a shittier person, have more fear of gossip.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_03: But I think now I'm so comfortable in who I am, yeah, and I know my character.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_03: I know I would never say anything with ill heart, truly.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_03: I have less fear of gossip because I know my character, and I know that the people around me know my character.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_03: I think there's people that fear gossip that much.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_03: It's because they know that within gossip there might be some truths that they're not willing to admit within their character.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_05: That's a really good wrinkle.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_03: But like, if someone came up to you and was like, I heard Adeline's a dirty fucking racist and she hates this, this, and this, and this, you would be like, I I would hope you would be like, that doesn't sound that sounds just like her.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_03: No, Cecily.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, look, I I look, I grew up in a white supremacist state.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_03: Obviously, there's some internalized shit.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sure I said some dumb shit in my past.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_03: But my point.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_05: I definitely did.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_05: That's the thing.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_03: But my my my point is if if somebody called me out on that and said, Well, here's a dumbass tweet you tweeted when you were 14, I would not fear that and instead open it because it's yeah, and I was an idiot and did not have a fully formed brain and didn't understand the social nuances of the shit I was talking about.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_03: I was just an idiot with a Twitter page.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I could not dismiss the gossip, but be able to respond in a way that's like no, I see your Yeah, and validate what's happening, but also speak to my character now.
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_03: I think when someone doesn't have that, those are the people that get very fearful of gossip because they're like, they double down and they they get extremely defensive.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_05: And the thing is, which is why we live in a white supremacist country world.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_05: So like to say, like, oh, I've never done anything problematic, I'm like, honey, like we all do.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_05: Everyone does, and you I hope you learn and try to get better, but like to be defensive about you know something you said is just not to me.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, I'm I'm able to I'm able to understand my past mistakes based in ignorance and frankly stupidity and youth from my genuine character now as a full fully formed adult with education who's been seeing more of the world.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_03: Like if somebody were to gossip in that regard, I could speak to my character as it is now while still validating what they're saying.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_03: I think people who do not have that emotional capacity or maturity, that's why they're so fearful of gossip, because they know there might be a little nugget of truth that they don't want to admit.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_05: But people would so much rather just like live in their own anyway.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_03: We could go on, or or or say, or they would so much rather say, they're just being a gossip.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_03: They're just making things up and just immediately pretend like the person demonize the person that's gossiping as just being a gossip.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_03: But it's like, okay, and maybe that's true.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_03: There are people that gossip and add shit talking into it.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_03: But I think it's a lot easier to bring down the character of a gossiper than to turn it inward of why do you think that person potentially had anything to say with that?
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_05: Right.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_05: You know, and I also think that um my god, you said something that was so smart just now, and now my brain, my honestly, I honestly thought you were writing it down.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know what I said.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_03: Oh in the in the words of Kelly Kapoor, I talk a lot, so I've just learned to tune myself out.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, what I was gonna say is this is that gossip, like you were saying, like people can see it as so dis they dismiss it because gossip is primarily, I would say, used by people who are minorities, people who are women or identify, you know, as such, and like or not, I I here I am like simply not saying that.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_03: No, I I I you could say a minority within a majority, whichever way that may be.
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_05: Like, hey, this guy that I met, like at a party, put something in my drink and don't talk to that guy, you know.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, don't drink with this person.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_05: Gossip is demonized in a lot of especially America, as like that's just gossip.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_05: Like, that's not something to be taken seriously.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_05: And I think you could think it should be taken seriously.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_03: It should be, and I think there's definitely an air of misogynism where it's women women gossip, but also women live in an oppressive state, and they have historically, where gossip is the only thing that they could openly say, look out for or do something like that.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_03: And like we discussed in your can I eat anything episode, gossip is also a form of health care.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_03: Do this.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_03: I tried this.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_03: I heard, you know, the word is if you try this, you end up having a good delivery, or whatever it may be.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_03: When you have a system of oppression, that system of gossip is the only thing you really have because nobody else is looking out for it.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_03: It reminds me of um when I was in high school, I had a teacher that had a humanities course and he let us pick the topic.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_03: It was like whatever he would teach.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_03: And one of the things he offered was the sociology of gangs and the mafia.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_03: And very cool.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_03: Love that teacher.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_03: But basically, the the crux of it is, particularly with immigrants that came to America, just like using excuse, when you have a minority group that is not within the majority, that is targeted for racism, etc., xenophobia, whatever it may be, their only way of protecting themselves is within their own minority groups.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_03: So that's where you get the classic, you know, Sopranos mafia, the Italian mafia, the Irish mafia.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_03: These people came because there was no other people looking out for them.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_03: And I think gossip's kind of that same way where it's like, yeah, we have to listen to each other and believe each other a little bit because nobody else is gonna say, hey, be careful, you know, like these people are really racist towards Italians.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_03: No one's looking out for them like that.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_03: So the gossip, and in this case, like the sociology of gangs and mafia, it is based initially on social protection of a minority group.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_05: Yes, it's very, I mean, we live- It's fascinating.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_05: It's fascinating.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_05: The patriarchy and white supremacy is not gonna be looking out for you, you know.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_03: So like gossip is Unless you are unless you're a white man.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_03: I've I've never ever heard a black woman say gossip is that's mean.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, I've never heard you know what you know what the running joke is for like a southern black woman?
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_03: If you don't have anything nice to say, come over here and sit next to me.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_03: Oh like there is an element where that culture is a little bit leaning into gossip because I think originally it's based on protection of we gotta spread the word like that.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_03: I think that's very interesting, Cecily.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_03: I think that's very true.
• 42:53
  SPEAKER_05: I could talk forever about this, but fascinating.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_05: I just wanted to touch the t the the iceberg of the city.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_05: Just the tip.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_05: Just the tip.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_05: I just want to.
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_05: Just the tip.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_05: Just touch my tip.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_05: Um a game I made for you.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_03: Oh no.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_03: I don't are we gonna gossip.
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_03: I don't want to gossip about me.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_03: No, that'd be I I love that I'm like game about you to bully.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_03: I love I love that I'm so I'm like, I'm so secure in my character.
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_03: I have no problem.
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_03: Please don't make this a game of bullying me.
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_05: Please don't make this a game of bullying me.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_03: That's my childhood trauma coming out.
• 43:27
  SPEAKER_03: That's on some autistic but not knowing shit where you're like, you know what the worst part about being neurodivergent as a kid is I, as an almost 30-year-old woman, have flashbacks to my youth, and I go, Oh my god, they were bullying me.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_03: Like the worst part is you never even register it in the moment because bullying will be shit like I'm trying to I'm I can't it's so hard for me to, you know, pull a bully line off the top of my head because I'm just not that way.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_03: But it's shit where it's like it's just shit where it's like, I'll give an example.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm not gonna name names on mic.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_03: Off mic, I will.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_03: Off mic, I'm not gonna be able to do that.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_03: But there was someone there was someone this weekend, and granted, they were kind of drunk.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_03: Whatever.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_03: Some and I also was kind of drunk, so maybe it landed wrong, whatever.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_03: But somebody came up to me and was like, nice bangs.
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_03: Did you cut them yourself?
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_05: What the fuck?
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_03: And first off, first off, let's be clear, I did.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_03: I know it doesn't look great.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_03: I don't give a fuck.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_05: I genuinely right now look amazing.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_03: I also don't care because I don't want to go to a salon.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_03: I don't care.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_03: I work from home.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_03: So listen, even if they don't look professionally done, it doesn't matter, right?
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_03: There's an element of that.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_03: There's no new information where I'm like, yeah.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_03: Do you want me to say sorry?
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_03: Do you want me to say thank you?
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_03: There's an element of kind of bullying or shit talking when somebody says something that you're like, there's no like we talked about with shit talking.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_03: There's no new information where it's like, yeah, I did cut it myself.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_03: Sorry?
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_05: Like, like, what do you think?
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_05: It's like what you were saying about like shit talking is just to put the other person down.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_05: Yes.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_05: Yes.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_05: And it's not at all to like spread information about like this terrible man we should all be talking about to save ourselves.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_05: You know what I mean?
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_03: Like or or it's different than someone saying, like, oh, I like your bangs.
• 45:16
  SPEAKER_03: How did you cut them yourself?
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_03: Can you teach me?
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_03: I want to know.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_03: There is just that air of a little spice that was a little bit I felt of shit talking.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_03: Now, granted, I was drunk off for a couple ciders.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_03: I don't really care.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_03: And also, I don't care.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_03: I don't.
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_03: My all half my hair is gone anyway.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_05: My hair looks so good.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm having a hot flash.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_03: I don't care.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_03: I I wish I could, but after COVID, I don't care about hair.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_03: It's gonna grow back.
• 45:43
  SPEAKER_05: It's gonna grow back.
• 45:44
  SPEAKER_05: And also you did an amazing job.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_05: And I will tell you, as your sister, I would tell you in a gossip way.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_03: You you would tell me because famously, the last time I did really go to a hair salon, I got the worst haircut of my life.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_03: And when I came home, I called Jake in tears from the salon and I said, I think I I think they screwed up.
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_03: It's a it's a really bad cut.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_03: And my husband, the sweetest man on earth, said, Listen, I'm sure it's not, it's gonna be fine.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_03: And then I found out later, at the time it was you and Rob was over.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_03: I found out later, Jake told everyone in the room, no matter what it looks like, just say it looks good.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_03: So I came home and Rob and Jake were like, it looks good, it's fine.
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_03: Cecily came in from the bathroom, not a single moment.
• 46:26
  SPEAKER_03: She went, absolutely not, go back for a refund.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely not.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_03: Everyone else was like I was too.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_03: I spent like$700 on a full cut and color.
• 46:37
  SPEAKER_03: It was insane.
• 46:38
  SPEAKER_03: The refund was necessary.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_03: But my point is, that's not the picture.
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_05: I I honestly maybe it should be your thumbnail.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_05: Addie, it could be episode four, can we be mean for a sec?
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_05: And it's thumbnail.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_05: I'll share mine.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_05: I'll find out.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_03: Cecily, you've never had a haircut that was this bad.
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_05: You know what you're right.
• 47:01
  SPEAKER_03: Cecily, I literally looked like I looked like no country for old men.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_03: I went in, I went in, was like, I'm gonna get a cute little micro bob.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_03: I wanted it blonde.
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_03: I left with purple and I looked like no country for old men.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_03: And I listen, I did not, I was so worried the next day because I didn't want to be a Karen.
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_03: That's like just blowing up a bad review.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_03: So I actually went in and I told them, I'm not gonna post a bad review.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not about that.
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_03: Because listen, there's a lot of factors that maybe cause this.
• 47:38
  SPEAKER_03: Here we are.
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_05: Let's work together.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_05: Let's work together.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_03: Let's work together.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not gonna spread shit talk.
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_03: No, but I do need a refund so that I can go.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_03: And they cut it so short, I had to go to my husband's barber to correct it.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_03: And that is why, frankly, I have not gone to the that's why I cut my own hair because I'm traumatized.
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_03: I refuse to go back.
• 47:59
  SPEAKER_03: And I I you know it's bad too, because I went to the barber and I explained, I was like, listen, I'm real skittish.
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_03: I've had a horrible time.
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_03: The barber looked at it and he goes, I don't even know what the fuck they were doing.
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_03: The barber who was supposed to be like, you know, chill, shoot the shit.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_03: He was like, oh no, they fuck this.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_03: They fucked this.
• 48:19
  SPEAKER_03: And luckily he fixed it, thank God.
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_03: But it that's that is why I cut my own hair now because I'm literally too scared to go in.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_03: It was that bad.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_05: It's a fucking amazing job because I wasn't even coming at it in a bullying way.
• 48:31
  SPEAKER_05: I went into full like that scene in Fleabag where she's like, How dare you?
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_03: Like I went into hair is everything.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_05: Everything, and how dare you try to do it.
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_03: Claire, Claire, it's French.
• 48:46
  SPEAKER_03: But it wasn't French, it was it was just bad.
• 48:49
  SPEAKER_03: And I they I will say they did give me a full refund, including tip.
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_03: That's it.
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_03: And that was all good.
• 48:54
  SPEAKER_03: I did not leave a review.
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not about that.
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not about shit talking, but in that moment, this was gossip.
• 49:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, and this was not okay.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_03: I will show a quick picture, but no, please don't make me post this for the thing.
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_03: Because Cecily, I'm not kidding.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_05: It is it is so bad that I'll share my Easter picture where my bangs are cut up to here.
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_03: Cecily, that's you as a kid.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_03: That's not your fault.
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_03: Mom did that to you.
• 49:20
  SPEAKER_03: I did this to myself.
• 49:22
  SPEAKER_03: I put my money that I earned and said, I trust you.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_05: I have no words.
• 49:27
  SPEAKER_03: I'm trying to find it.
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_03: I have it's it's pretty bad.
• 49:31
  SPEAKER_03: It's pretty.
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_05: I can't wait for um I can't wait to review her again.
• 49:37
  SPEAKER_05: I'm while you're looking it up, I'm gonna do my game that I created for you guys.
• 49:42
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, start the game and then I'll pull it up because I I do have it.
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_03: Uh I just maybe buried it.
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_05: I have decided, I've come up with scenarios where you will decide is this shit talking or is this gossip?
• 49:58
  SPEAKER_05: And I will tell you what I decided it is.
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_03: What you decided.
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_03: Are these scenarios from your real life that you just want me to?
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_05: I'm just gonna let you decide.
• 50:06
  SPEAKER_05: Right.
• 50:06
  SPEAKER_03: Uh here's here's topic number one.
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_03: You come home with the worst haircut of your life.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_03: Everyone closest to you says it looks good.
• 50:13
  SPEAKER_03: Your trusted sister friend takes one look and says, absolutely no, go back and get a refund.
• 50:20
  SPEAKER_03: This is unacceptable.
• 50:21
  SPEAKER_03: Shit talking or gossip?
• 50:23
  SPEAKER_03: I think gossip as it does confirm new information and action and it's protecting me from future things.
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_05: I will protect you at all costs.
• 50:33
  SPEAKER_05: That's my no country for old men.
• 50:36
  SPEAKER_02: No country for old men.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 50:41
  SPEAKER_05: The first scenario.
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_03: I'm listening.
• 50:44
  SPEAKER_03: I'm listening.
• 50:44
  SPEAKER_03: I'm I'm still looking for it, but I promise I am listening.
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 50:48
  SPEAKER_05: The first scenario is.
• 50:49
  SPEAKER_03: Oh no.
• 50:51
  SPEAKER_05: You're at the office and a coworker opens up a smelly lunch.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_05: You say PU to your other coworker.
• 51:02
  SPEAKER_03: I actually think swear to God, that actually can be called harassment in a workplace.
• 51:08
  SPEAKER_03: I just did a bunch of HR training because a lot of people that have non-American foods are classic, uh, what is it, my big fat Greek wedding?
• 51:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 51:16
  SPEAKER_03: Muskaka.
• 51:18
  SPEAKER_03: Or as you in elementary school were made fun of for having red beans and rice in a thermos.
• 51:23
  SPEAKER_05: So thank you.
• 51:24
  SPEAKER_03: Because we are Cajun.
• 51:28
  SPEAKER_05: So I I would say that's shit talking.
• 51:30
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you there's nothing new.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_03: There it unless it would be gossip if it something in the fridge smells like it's gone bad.
• 51:37
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 51:38
  SPEAKER_03: Then that's gossip because you're making sure someone does not get sick.
• 51:42
  SPEAKER_03: But having a particularly uh a particularly pungent curry or tuna salad, let someone eat.
• 51:49
  SPEAKER_05: Red beans and don't comment on people's food.
• 51:51
  SPEAKER_05: Yes.
• 51:52
  SPEAKER_05: Thank you.
• 51:52
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, I label this as shit talking, obviously.
• 51:56
  SPEAKER_05: Shit talking.
• 51:56
  SPEAKER_05: Good.
• 51:57
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 51:58
  SPEAKER_05: Your best friend's boyfriend and you get a little too turnt at a Halloween party.
• 52:03
  SPEAKER_05: He touches your shoulder a little too long.
• 52:06
  SPEAKER_05: You tell your friend about it afterwards.
• 52:08
  SPEAKER_05: Gossip or shit talking, or trying to start shit between them.
• 52:13
  SPEAKER_05: So I guess shit talking.
• 52:15
  SPEAKER_03: That's a tough one.
• 52:17
  SPEAKER_03: Can I be honest?
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_03: And this is just me.
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_03: This is just me.
• 52:20
  SPEAKER_03: Say it.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_03: A touch that extends a little too like a second too long, I don't think I would tell her.
• 52:27
  SPEAKER_03: Now, if he made a pass of, hey, and like tried to kiss me, like more definitive, like I have firm evidence, then I would say something.
• 52:36
  SPEAKER_03: But I have to be honest, I don't know if I would with just a touch, you know, that went on just a moment too long.
• 52:43
  SPEAKER_03: I would need a more firm of he texted me, you up, or something like that.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_05: Absolutely.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_03: That's just me though.
• 52:50
  SPEAKER_03: Because most of my friends and their husbands, I've never had them.
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_03: Most of my friends' partners are scared to touch women to begin with.
• 52:58
  SPEAKER_05: So that's something you don't have to worry about.
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_05: You know, interestingly enough, I put it as gossip.
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_03: But now that I really think about being in the scenario, because we've all kind of been in scenarios where it's like it's it's not new information if it's a touch that holds for a beat too long.
• 53:15
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's new information if he is actively seeking something with me.
• 53:19
  SPEAKER_03: There is that new information.
• 53:21
  SPEAKER_05: When I wrote the scenario, I saw it as a sexually charged shoulder touch.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_03: It wasn't like uh you know, sometimes I think it's so so maybe it's it's that thigh touch and he says, Do you want to go to mine after?
• 53:33
  SPEAKER_05: Maybe we didn't even say the words though.
• 53:36
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe it's just hold on shoulder or lower back linger, and you're just like if it if it happened once enough that it made me uncomfortable, and perhaps that touching occurred multiple times, then yes, I would say that's gossip, and I would say something of hey, your partner gets really handsy whenever they're drunk to the point where I'm uncomfortable to drink with you guys.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_03: Then that's gossip.
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_05: Damn.
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_05: That's well said.
• 53:59
  SPEAKER_03: It can be different for every single person.
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_03: For me, my friends are very touchy-feely.
• 54:04
  SPEAKER_03: I hug my guy friends, I hug Joey.
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_03: But for some people who are not, that's not their thing.
• 54:10
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's a personal boundary.
• 54:12
  SPEAKER_05: Kind of a kiss-case scenario.
• 54:14
  SPEAKER_03: A touch for me, I'm Southern.
• 54:15
  SPEAKER_03: I'm a hugger.
• 54:16
  SPEAKER_03: I when I talk, I'm like, do you know what I mean?
• 54:18
  SPEAKER_03: I'm touching.
• 54:19
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, I'm, I don't want to say I'm handsy.
• 54:23
  SPEAKER_05: Give me a kiss before you leave.
• 54:25
  SPEAKER_03: I know.
• 54:25
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I'm not saying that.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_03: But like oh, I am.
• 54:28
  SPEAKER_03: For some, oh you, yeah, you you lean in full kiss without permission every time.
• 54:35
  SPEAKER_03: But for somebody that is not comfortable with that, that could be a very big boundary crossed.
• 54:39
  SPEAKER_03: And which point that could be more of a flag.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_05: Interesting.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, here we go.
• 54:44
  SPEAKER_05: You're at a wedding, and the best man gives a speech about how great the groom is and mentions nothing of the bride.
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_05: You and your table proceed to talk about how this best man looks a lot like Ed Sheeran.
• 54:57
  SPEAKER_05: Shit talking or gossip.
• 55:01
  SPEAKER_03: All right, the Ed Sheeran part is shit talking.
• 55:03
  SPEAKER_03: There's no new information there.
• 55:05
  SPEAKER_03: That's just being mean.
• 55:06
  SPEAKER_03: And frankly, it's kind of being mean to gingers.
• 55:09
  SPEAKER_03: I'm and you know what?
• 55:10
  SPEAKER_03: You are a ginger now.
• 55:11
  SPEAKER_05: Hattie, Ed Sheeran sucks right now.
• 55:13
  SPEAKER_03: No, he does, but I'm just saying the the groomsman could just be a redhead that you're projecting.
• 55:18
  SPEAKER_05: No, I wasn't, I meant like, you know, that's interesting you point that out.
• 55:22
  SPEAKER_05: I didn't say looks.
• 55:23
  SPEAKER_05: I meant more like, I guess vibe is what I meant when I said looks.
• 55:28
  SPEAKER_03: I I honestly, I still think that's shit talking.
• 55:34
  SPEAKER_05: Because I think he deserves the shit talking, the best man.
• 55:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 55:40
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, whether he deserves it or not, I think it's shit talking because the bride's already decided.
• 55:45
  SPEAKER_03: What whatever, whatever the table determines.
• 55:47
  SPEAKER_03: Oh no, that's the biggest thing.
• 55:47
  SPEAKER_05: But the bride, no, the bride, it's not the bride, it's not the bride's husband.
• 55:52
  SPEAKER_05: It's the husband's best man who's giving a speech, going on and on about how great and being like this old ball and chain.
• 56:00
  SPEAKER_05: So I'm kind of like it's we're not talking shit about the bride or the groom.
• 56:06
  SPEAKER_05: In fact, we see dating for the bride because the best man is going on and on about the groom who we all agree we love.
• 56:15
  SPEAKER_03: But it is shitty.
• 56:17
  SPEAKER_03: I think if you're doing it at the wedding, that's shit talking.
• 56:20
  SPEAKER_03: Because it's not gonna change the environment.
• 56:22
  SPEAKER_03: They've already decided that's the best man.
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_03: It's already done.
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_03: Do you know what I mean?
• 56:26
  SPEAKER_03: Now, if you guys are later after the wedding, perhaps hanging out with the bride and groom and then kind of bring it up and make fun of him and say he looks like Ed Sheeran, then that might more be gossip because you're trying to inform the bride and groom that we socially think your best man sucks.
• 56:42
  SPEAKER_05: Damn.
• 56:42
  SPEAKER_03: And they can do something about it after the fact.
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_03: But at the wedding, you're just there to support no matter what the bride and groom like they can't do anything.
• 56:51
  SPEAKER_05: And this is you you're a better person than I because it definitely is shit talking.
• 56:56
  SPEAKER_05: And I would do this if at a wedding and I was put in the scenario.
• 57:01
  SPEAKER_05: I know.
• 57:02
  SPEAKER_03: I think you chat I think you chat talk at my wedding, not about me, but I hope I would hope someone shit talked at my wedding.
• 57:08
  SPEAKER_03: That's how you know you had a good party.
• 57:10
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 57:11
  SPEAKER_03: Grandma and her friends being ridiculous.
• 57:13
  SPEAKER_03: You're so right.
• 57:14
  SPEAKER_05: Wait, I immediately, as soon as I go, about what?
• 57:16
  SPEAKER_03: And then I go, oh you about the thousands of things that went wrong on the wedding day.
• 57:20
  SPEAKER_03: Like, yeah, that's that's how you know you've had a good party if there's some shit being talked.
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_05: That's so true.
• 57:25
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, so absolutely shit talk.
• 57:28
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 57:28
  SPEAKER_05: You see Ed Sheeran at a cafe and tell everyone at the cafe that there's a coward loser that is frequently the cafe and should be kicked out.
• 57:37
  SPEAKER_03: Ed Sheeran was seen at Squirrel eating mold jam.
• 57:44
  SPEAKER_03: Uh that's a tough one.
• 57:48
  SPEAKER_03: It's pretty strange.
• 57:51
  SPEAKER_03: When you tell people, what are you saying, online or just the people that are also on the patio with him?
• 57:56
  SPEAKER_03: Like, where are you disposing this entire?
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_05: I'm saying everyone in the cafe.
• 58:00
  SPEAKER_05: I'm saying I'm pulling aside going, this fucking coward loser who still platforms people that are on the Epstein list and lists and takes advice from him.
• 58:09
  SPEAKER_05: I think that might be.
• 58:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I think that might be gossip because he has said something that's super not cool and socially I don't think he's ready to go eat and have brunch in a patio yet.
• 58:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 58:21
  SPEAKER_03: He needs some people to not make him comfortable for a while.
• 58:24
  SPEAKER_05: Thank you.
• 58:25
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, I agree.
• 58:26
  SPEAKER_05: And guess what?
• 58:26
  SPEAKER_03: So that's gossip.
• 58:27
  SPEAKER_05: The quiz I made, I said gossip.
• 58:30
  SPEAKER_05: So you're right.
• 58:31
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 58:31
  SPEAKER_05: Correct.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_05: There you go.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_03: So we so we align, we align.
• 58:34
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 58:34
  SPEAKER_03: These are hard though.
• 58:35
  SPEAKER_05: I thank you.
• 58:36
  SPEAKER_03: And they they all make me feel like I'm a horrible person.
• 58:40
  SPEAKER_05: That's the point.
• 58:41
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 58:42
  SPEAKER_04: Um So, in a way, yes, you are bullying me.
• 58:45
  SPEAKER_05: No, if anything, I'm bullying my s I'm saying I'm a terrible person because I'm the one coming up with these scenarios.
• 58:51
  SPEAKER_03: Wow, you're having a little a little too much fun.
• 58:54
  SPEAKER_03: Are these just personal examples?
• 58:56
  SPEAKER_05: They aren't.
• 58:57
  SPEAKER_05: Honestly, I just thought about it, about things that make me angry, and here comes.
• 59:02
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 59:02
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 59:02
  SPEAKER_05: How many more?
• 59:03
  SPEAKER_05: This is tough.
• 59:04
  SPEAKER_05: I have two more.
• 59:05
  unknown: Okay.
• 59:06
  SPEAKER_05: Your mom's friend gets a facelift and you start calling her staple center.
• 59:10
  SPEAKER_05: Shit talking or gossip.
• 59:14
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my god, these are so mean.
• 59:16
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's it's shit talking if it's to a group of people who have no intimate relations.
• 59:23
  SPEAKER_03: So, like, listen, if I got a shitty, let's just use myself, okay?
• 59:27
  SPEAKER_03: I got a shitty faceless.
• 59:28
  SPEAKER_03: You're calling me staple center.
• 59:30
  SPEAKER_03: If is that a fart or a laugh?
• 59:33
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_03: She's laughing.
• 59:36
  SPEAKER_03: That's a laugh fart, you know.
• 59:38
  SPEAKER_03: If you were to say she looks like staples to Jake, I would say that's more gossip because you are trusting Jake to then take the information of this is a bad facelift, she needs to get it adjusted.
• 59:51
  SPEAKER_03: Sure.
• 59:51
  SPEAKER_03: He can input that, then tell me, thus giving me a chance to take new information of you're too close to this, this is not a good job.
• 1:00:00
  SPEAKER_03: You need to get this on done.
• 1:00:01
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 1:00:02
  SPEAKER_03: Now, if it's someone so my my answer is if it's if it's to someone directly in my circle or to me, then that's gossip.
• 1:00:11
  SPEAKER_03: If it's shit talking to a group of people who will never tell me this to my face and you're just doing it, I think that's shit talking.
• 1:00:18
  SPEAKER_05: Yes, I labeled it as shit talking.
• 1:00:21
  SPEAKER_05: It's a very mean thing.
• 1:00:23
  SPEAKER_05: Very mean thing.
• 1:00:24
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, last scenario.
• 1:00:26
  SPEAKER_05: Very mean thing that you laughed really hard at.
• 1:00:29
  SPEAKER_05: I have to say I'm really proud of myself for that one.
• 1:00:34
  SPEAKER_03: You're so mean.
• 1:00:35
  SPEAKER_05: I am.
• 1:00:36
  SPEAKER_03: Uh Cecily, I think I don't I don't think Cecily's here.
• 1:00:39
  SPEAKER_03: I think the demon is is still with you.
• 1:00:41
  SPEAKER_03: Demon has crossed your eyes.
• 1:00:43
  SPEAKER_03: Your eyes look a little dark right now.
• 1:00:46
  SPEAKER_05: My god, they kind of do.
• 1:00:47
  SPEAKER_04: Ah they are.
• 1:00:48
  SPEAKER_04: You you got some big old eyeballs, dude.
• 1:00:51
  SPEAKER_04: I'm scaring myself.
• 1:00:52
  SPEAKER_05: Happy Halloween! Okay, Halloween.
• 1:00:56
  SPEAKER_05: Happy Halloween!
• 1:00:57
  SPEAKER_04: Show you my haircut.
• 1:00:58
  SPEAKER_05: Show you my haircut.
• 1:00:59
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, last scenario.
• 1:01:01
  SPEAKER_05: You notice your male neighbor in your apartment complex keeps weird hours and has guests over who never seem to leave.
• 1:01:09
  SPEAKER_05: You start a group chat with the other people in your building called Is Brian and 8C a murderer?
• 1:01:16
  SPEAKER_05: Where everyone collectively shares their ring cam footage to figure out if he is in fact a killer.
• 1:01:23
  SPEAKER_03: I I would think that's gossip.
• 1:01:24
  SPEAKER_03: There's a direct threat, there's a potential murderer.
• 1:01:27
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 1:01:28
  SPEAKER_03: I will say if they never leave, yes, that's weird, because that's cause of concern.
• 1:01:34
  SPEAKER_03: That's why I advert that.
• 1:01:36
  SPEAKER_03: If there is somebody in an apartment that there's probably more people in there than the lease allows, mind your fucking business.
• 1:01:42
  SPEAKER_03: Run's expensive.
• 1:01:43
  SPEAKER_03: Some people have to combo.
• 1:01:46
  SPEAKER_03: But if you see, especially like women coming in on dates or whatever.
• 1:01:50
  SPEAKER_05: This is a scenario, because you know what, you're right to point that out.
• 1:01:52
  SPEAKER_05: That would be fucking narc shit, and fuck him.
• 1:01:55
  SPEAKER_05: Fuck him.
• 1:01:56
  SPEAKER_05: Fuck him.
• 1:01:56
  SPEAKER_05: I made this person a man.
• 1:01:58
  SPEAKER_03: Then I sesly, I immediately was like, of course.
• 1:02:01
  SPEAKER_03: Well, statistically, it's probably gonna be a murderer.
• 1:02:04
  SPEAKER_05: In this scenario, yeah, you're right for that.
• 1:02:06
  SPEAKER_05: Would never report that.
• 1:02:07
  SPEAKER_03: But if it was a man with a bunch of women who keep coming in who never with a bunch of women, and then they never leave, but a bunch of wet garbage bags do the next day.
• 1:02:18
  SPEAKER_03: This is what I'm saying.
• 1:02:19
  SPEAKER_03: Murderer.
• 1:02:19
  SPEAKER_03: That's a threat.
• 1:02:20
  SPEAKER_05: Start hearing weird sounds.
• 1:02:22
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 1:02:23
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 1:02:23
  SPEAKER_05: So that was a scenario.
• 1:02:24
  SPEAKER_03: Or or it's just Cecily after her acting class and she's still in demon mode.
• 1:02:28
  SPEAKER_05: Or it's me just kind of acting up.
• 1:02:30
  SPEAKER_03: It's just Cecily practicing her monologue for her class.
• 1:02:33
  SPEAKER_05: Just dropping in.
• 1:02:34
  SPEAKER_05: Sorry.
• 1:02:35
  SPEAKER_05: But anyway, that is my segment.
• 1:02:38
  SPEAKER_05: And that is Wow.
• 1:02:39
  SPEAKER_05: Um, can I be mean for a second?
• 1:02:41
  SPEAKER_05: And Cecily.
• 1:02:44
  SPEAKER_03: You you can be mean for about an hour.
• 1:02:46
  SPEAKER_03: That is, it's fascinating.
• 1:02:48
  SPEAKER_03: It's very important to examine.
• 1:02:50
  SPEAKER_03: And I, you know what I'm really taking away from this?
• 1:02:52
  SPEAKER_03: Because again, like I said, it's really fun to have a glass of wine and oh, we're gossiping and we're doing this and that.
• 1:02:58
  SPEAKER_03: It's caused me to take hold of am I gossiping by spreading information that might be beneficial or help someone avoid a threat?
• 1:03:06
  SPEAKER_03: Or am I just shit talking to make me feel better about something?
• 1:03:09
  SPEAKER_03: That's a good question to ask yourself.
• 1:03:11
  SPEAKER_03: Because you know what?
• 1:03:12
  SPEAKER_03: Shit talking does nothing.
• 1:03:14
  SPEAKER_03: Gossip might be helpful.
• 1:03:16
  SPEAKER_03: So hey, if you know somebody spikes drinks and you want your friend to watch her drink around them, that's good gossip.
• 1:03:21
  SPEAKER_05: Yes.
• 1:03:22
  SPEAKER_03: If you're just making fun of someone for trying to put themselves out there because you feel like less of an artist, you're just shit talking and you should probably shut the fuck up.
• 1:03:30
  SPEAKER_03: Oh God, well said, Addie.
• 1:03:32
  SPEAKER_03: What a delight.
• 1:03:33
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 1:03:34
  SPEAKER_03: And I I just, you know, want to make sure to end you with this.
• 1:03:42
  SPEAKER_03: And just for reference, this is what I asked for.
• 1:03:47
  SPEAKER_03: And then this is when I after Jake, after Jake, after you finally were the gossip and were like, this is unacceptable, new information.
• 1:03:55
  SPEAKER_03: Then suddenly, Jake, full of examples of what my haircut looked like.
• 1:04:00
  SPEAKER_03: This is what my husband was like, you look like no country for old men.
• 1:04:04
  SPEAKER_03: And honestly, he's not wrong.
• 1:04:08
  SPEAKER_03: It's awful.
• 1:04:09
  SPEAKER_03: It's awful.
• 1:04:12
  SPEAKER_03: Did you cut your own bangs?
• 1:04:14
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I did.
• 1:04:15
  SPEAKER_03: Because you don't even know the trick.
• 1:04:17
  SPEAKER_05: I would be cutting my own bang too if I was given a haircut like that.
• 1:04:21
  SPEAKER_05: I wouldn't trust a single soul ever again.
• 1:04:24
  SPEAKER_03: And you know what?
• 1:04:25
  SPEAKER_03: At least then if I screw it up, I know I didn't lose money on it.
• 1:04:29
  SPEAKER_03: It's like if I if I wake up and I maybe have an Alani and I'm like, I'm gonna cut bangs today and they look bad, I'll give them two weeks, they'll grow out.
• 1:04:36
  SPEAKER_03: No harm, no foul.
• 1:04:38
  SPEAKER_03: If I go and pay someone a lot of money to fix it, then I have to go through a lot of rigmarole to get it fixed.
• 1:04:45
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah.
• 1:04:48
  SPEAKER_05: And we'll end you with that image, everyone.
• 1:04:50
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 1:04:50
  SPEAKER_05: And thank you for listening.
• 1:04:53
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for listening.
• 1:04:54
  SPEAKER_03: Hey, just make sure to, you know, check your haircuts by your friends.
• 1:04:58
  SPEAKER_03: They might have some gossip for you and it might save your life.
• 1:05:01
  SPEAKER_03: Goodbye.
• 1:05:10
  SPEAKER_05: Thank you for listening to Sister Friend, hosted by Cecily Bro and Adeline Minton.
• 1:05:16
  SPEAKER_05: Editing by Adeline Minton.
• 1:05:18
  SPEAKER_05: Music by Ashley Morton.
• 1:05:20
  SPEAKER_05: If you like the show, be sure to subscribe to our show on Apple Podcast.
• 1:05:25
  SPEAKER_05: You can also follow us on Instagram at Sister Friend Podcast.