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Melissa Bloom on Moving Past Fear, Doubt, and Overwhelm · The Daily Writer

• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: Hey my friend, welcome to this weekend edition of the Daily Rider.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: You know, for a while now I've been wanting to do a series of conversations focused around mental health for writers.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody knows that mental health is important, and we see a lot of signs of depression, burnout, frustration, anger, and even increasing rates of suicide today in society.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: And writers are not immune to those forces.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: In many ways, perhaps we're even more susceptible than the average person to those things because we tend to spend a lot of time alone.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: And in light of that, we are featuring a mental health series for writers during the month of May here on the podcast.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: Each week we will feature an interview that relates to the themes of mental health.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: And today's episode features a good friend of mine, Melissa Bloom, who uses her background in molecular biology, clinical trials, and yoga to focus on the new frontier, which is the brain.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: Through her aligned life community and one-on-one coaching, she helps people gain a new perspective through which to view their lives.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: So in this conversation today, Melissa shares why we need to eliminate the idea of competition, the pursuit of perfection, the concept of missed opportunities, and also why we take score way too soon in our lives.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the result of dealing with all these unhealthy tendencies is that we can move past our doubt, fear, and our sense of overwhelm, and we can move toward a life where we're creating from a sense of joy and purpose rather than doing it from stress and guilt.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: So if you relate to any of those things, which I'm guessing that you do because you're human, just as I am, if you relate to any of those things, you're really going to enjoy this conversation.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: Melissa is a truly wise soul.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I know that you're going to be moved by this conversation just as much as I was.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: So here is my chat with Melissa Bloom.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_01: Melissa, thanks for being a guest on today's episode.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm excited to have this conversation because you have really inspired me with your bravery, with your thoughtfulness, with your wisdom.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm really excited to be able to share this with our with our listeners today.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks for having me.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_02: I'm pretty excited to be here.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: So this whole conversation started out a little bit unusual for a couple of reasons.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: Number one is this is our first episode in what I'm just calling mental health month for writers.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I've never done this before, but I think it's a really important topic given the past couple of years in the world, but also in general, because writing is such a solitary, isolated kind of activity.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but also this is unusual because normally guests don't give me a long list of really great episode ideas.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: Typically, I have a couple of things I want to talk about and I'll develop some questions.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but you asked me, hey, what do you want to talk about?
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, well, maybe shoot me a few ideas because uh because you're so full of wisdom, I thought, well, she's probably got some really wonderful ideas.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: And you did.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: So I just want to go through some of the things that you sent me because I can't pick from among the list because the list is just too good.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_02: That's so nice.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_02: That's so nice.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_02: Well, um, it's interesting because I started writing some things that are like my typical talking points, and then I went back in a different headspace, and I thought, what is really relevant for people writing alone?
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_02: And so I tried to hone the questions in on that piece.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: Well, a lot of this goes along as well with the book that you have coming out.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, at some point within next year, you'll have a book out there.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: And we've talked a lot about your book, and I'm super excited about it.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the themes that I know you're writing about is um, and I hope I'm gonna kind of put words in your mouth a little bit, and I don't mean to, but the way that I'm looking at it is um you're kind of stepping outside yourself and looking at the way that you think.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: In other words, examining your own thoughts and being aware that you do think a certain way and that you have a certain perspective, but then stepping outside of that and kind of examining the way that you think it's very meta in a way, and I think that's so helpful.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the things that I've learned from you is this idea that uh well, actually, let me just read the thing that you sent me, and we'll kind of as a jumping off point.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like I'm talking a lot, but I want to kind of set up this conversation in a specific way.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: So, this is what you sent me, one of the thoughts that you sent me, identifying fear, doubt, and overwhelm as the thought patterns that you've thought for a very long time.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_01: We are in many ways conditioned to think them, and we think that genius is rare.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: We think we have to work hard to be worthy of authorship, and all these are narratives that we tell ourselves.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: And essentially, we're coming back to the idea of don't believe everything you think.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: That is such a powerful concept in itself.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'm wondering if you can expand on that and explain more about what you mean and why it's important for us to think about the way that we think.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, this is pretty much my favorite topic.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_02: And so, how long do we have?
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: Well, uh, how much hard drive space do I have on my computer for?
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_02: I know.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_02: So, this concept of don't believe everything you think.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_02: Um, once you realize that your thoughts are kind of pathways that are set up.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_02: And over time we've set them up and we set them up.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_02: And so we're often traveling over the path of least resistance, right?
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_02: So these thoughts are not truth, they're just the thoughts that we've thought for a really long time.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_02: So we believe them.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_02: So realizing that you can actually take a look and examine all of those pathways and thoughts, and you don't have to go down rabbit holes and say, well, this is where I got this one.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_02: And Aunt Susie was definitely responsible for this one, right?
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_02: You don't have to go down all those rabbit holes, but just to notice that, you know, this is always the way I think when I sit down to write Monday morning, for example, or this is always the way I react internally when someone asks what I do, right?
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_02: These condition patterns.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: And so realizing that we have the power to change those patterns, that our thoughts are a choice, and it might take a little bit of work, but we can start to feel very different in our same life, right?
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_02: Nothing in our life has to change, but it's almost like that kind of kaleidoscope thing where you just move the kaleidoscope and then the picture changes completely.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: Right, right.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_02: That's how we can feel in our same life once we start to change some of our thought patterns.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: This concept in itself, I think, is so important, and it's such a radical idea, it's really not a radical idea, but it's radical in the sense of most of us don't think that way all the time.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: Most of us blame everybody else for the things that we're unhappy with in life.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: Isn't I mean, do you find that that's true?
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: As you kind of talk with people in life, every we all tend to blame everybody else for the things that we are not right.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you're so right.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_02: And we talk about, I mean, you know, you and I have great conversations, which I love.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_02: And that's why I'm so happy we get to share some of that with a wider audience.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_02: But this idea that I think most people feel life is happening to them.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes, and they're just reactors, we're just reacting to what's coming at us.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_02: So the idea that we are creating, curating our life experience doesn't feel true in the beginning.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_02: That that feels like, how could that be true?
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_02: How is it that I get to navigate and kind of be at the helm?
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_02: And so it does take a little bit of you know, rewiring and reworking to realize that we don't have to just react to what's coming at us.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: Isn't that something that we have we have been through a giant two-year worldwide case study of this in the in the last couple of years with the pandemic, where so many people have responded to this situation as if life is happening to me, there's nothing I can do, life sucks, it's horrible.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I can't do this, I can't do this, and everything.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: We just sort of have to grid and we've got to grit our teeth and bear it for the next however long until external things happen so I can sort of have my happiness again.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we we've all seen that a million times.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's and and there's also the you know, I think part of it is we're inundated with other people's narratives, right?
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_02: Really reading other people's experiences, and so somehow that becomes embedded in us.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_02: And I think it was probably easier at a time when people didn't have as much time to read or we didn't have access the way we do, because we could form our own opinions about how we feel and what we think.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_02: And and it's hard to appreciate how much is coming from the outside that we are internalizing as this is truth.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes, man.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: This I'm laughing because this it this opens up a whole can of worms in a good way, because I just sort of feel like I don't really trust anybody, including myself.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I I know that we can we can kind of take that that perspective too far where where you kind of go through life not trusting what anybody says at any time, and you're and you kind of annoy the whole world with your skepticism and negativity, and we don't want to go there.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: But don't you think it is kind of healthy to every time we listen to the news or or read an article or we hear somebody telling us something, to kind of take that with a little bit of a grain of salt because that person has their perspective on things.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_01: And all everything is curated, the news is curated, history is curated, and it all has a bias toward one perspective or another.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_01: So maybe it's good to even approach our own thinking that way.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_02: I think it is good, and I take a very positive spin because you know, one of the other big themes to just my human person and the work that I do is this thread that connects us all, how connected we all are.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_02: So rather than say I don't trust anyone, I have to feel out experiences on my own, but I trust that that was their experience.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_01: Right, right.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_01: That's that's that's their perspective on things based on what they have experienced.
• 11:34
  unknown: Right.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_02: And I and I see that as either wonderful or I'm, you know, I see it with love, right?
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_02: I see with compassion and love, but but that is not my experience.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_02: So when I read all these things, you know, I read a lot of articles about I have three children at home, as you know, three boys, and there were a lot of articles, especially in New York Times about the beginning of the pandemic, all about you know, women really almost going off the deep end, having a nervous breakdown, trying to juggle work and kids.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_02: And their experience was real, and I had a lot of compassion and love for them, but I had to step back and not internalize their narrative.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_02: It wasn't mine, it wasn't mine.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_02: I was having my own experience.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: So, how do we how do we approach this as writers?
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: So, people listening to this have some level of interest in writing, or they wouldn't be listening to a writing podcast, obviously.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: But there are a lot of people in our lives who are skeptical that you should or could write a book, that it's a valuable thing, that you should spend time or money on it.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: There's probably someone in all of our lives who has tried to write a book before and it was too hard and they quit, or they did and they didn't have the results that they wanted.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: So there's a lot of negativity around this process.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_01: How can we take what you're saying and apply this to writing?
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um do you have any thoughts on that?
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_01: I have a lot of thoughts.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_02: Um you know, I think we overthink most things.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_02: So if we take some steps back and say, I'm I'm gonna really care about how I feel and I'm gonna write what feels true today.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_02: And that's really how I I, as a new writer, and I don't consider myself a writer, how I approach writing my book is really not thinking about this huge world of books out there because it sets up all these comparisons and worthiness questions, and um, you know, the this section, this sector is too filled, there's no room for what I have to say.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_02: So there's room for every experience, there's room for all, right?
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_02: There is no competition whatsoever.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_02: We are all on our own journey, and I believe that kind of with every fiber in me.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_02: And so taking some steps back and saying this is just about what is my truth, what I want to write.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_02: And the style, and you know, Ken, I've had moments of um a little bit of, I guess you would call it unease or overwhelm, feeling like my personal writing style was not good enough, but I can only write what's in me, the way I think.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_02: So I've let a lot of that go.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_02: And this book is going to sound like me.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_02: This book is gonna be me, and I'm always evolving.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, we've talked about this.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_02: The idea that this has to be the official tomb of Melissa, right?
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_02: Right, right, is just wildly inaccurate because I'm evolving.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_02: So this is just a moment in time.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_02: This book is a reflection of me right now, and I can't say where it's gonna be in five years or 10 years because I'm always evolving.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_02: But I'm gonna take where I am now and just write me, if that makes sense.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: It absolutely makes sense.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm so glad you mentioned that was actually one of the things I was gonna ask about.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_01: So I'll go ahead and jump there.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_01: It does seem like as writers, we put this pressure on ourselves that people in other types of creative arts don't.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_01: Or maybe they do, and I'm just not aware of it because I'm not as much engaged in those things.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: For example, you know, a musician would not expect the music that they make today to be the same kind of album they would make in 20 years.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: So if you take um, gosh, I'm I'm I'm blanking out.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um, if you take you know what it's funny that you say that because I think long ago, yes, absolutely, but now that everything is like recorded and you know, everything you do, even your demo is recorded, there might be a little bit more hesitancy.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_02: But I think what you're saying really is writing was always for for ever since people were writing meant to be permanent.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_02: It was not oral stuff, oral storytelling.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_02: When you wrote down words, they were meant to be saved.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and so that does set up this kind of like, oh, it better be good.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_02: It was pressure.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: That's true.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: But there just seems to be kind of a I'm not exactly sure what I'm trying to say.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: So let's take Steven Spielberg, for example.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_01: You know, his very, very early movies are gonna be different than the movies he made 20 or 30 years later because he's matured as a filmmaker or as a director.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um, Bruce Springsteen's music from from you know, this the 70s, his first few albums, is gonna be different than what he put out the last few albums because he's matured and grown as an artist.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: But it seems like sometimes we don't want to let ourselves relax as writers, where we think I've got to write this one book, and this is like, like you said, this is the one book and it has to be perfect, and it's like gotta be the eternal, you know, bright shining star that I'm putting together.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: And we put all this pressure on ourselves.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_01: But a book is just a mile marker on your journey, and you're gonna write more books, and it just represents your perspective in your life right now, today, as you're working on it, it might be different in five years, in which case that's why God made second editions of books and revised editions or whatever.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_02: So, yes, I agree, and and some of that is um we're great at looking at the past and rumination and going down rabbit holes, but we're also great at kind of living in the wreckage of the future.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_02: And I think where we need a little work is how do we be here?
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_02: How do we create for this moment in time here?
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_01: Right, right.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that is wow, that that is a great insight I've never thought about before.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: Where sometimes we think about what do I what am I trying to build, especially if you have an entrepreneurial spirit, what am I trying to build and what's this big thing that I've got this vision of?
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: And we lose sight of, hey, all that you really have is today, and you're creating something for right now.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes that is the very best art, is when it's created for a specific time and a place and a person or with a very specific vision for right now, rather than I'm trying to envision what my life's gonna be like in 10 years and kind of riding toward that or something.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_02: I totally agree.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_01: You're making me think.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_01: You're making me think.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's hard to do an interview whenever whenever your your guess is making you think a lot.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_01: No, I'm just kidding.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_01: But I like that, I'd really like that.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_01: One thing that you had sent that I that I want to dive into a bit here.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_01: So by the way, I'm titling this whole conversation, Moving Past Fear, Doubt, and Overwhelm.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_01: Three, I feel like those are the big three things that really get us writers hung up sometimes.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_01: And one thing that you had mentioned as a conversation point, which I'd love to dive into, is this idea of taking score too soon.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: And this is just from your notes that you sent, where we get to a point in writing our book, maybe halfway or two-thirds of the way, and fear and overwhelm makes us feel like that we should abandon ship.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: And what do we do in those moments when we feel like that we should just jump ship and the whole thing is a disaster, and it's all going to pot, and I shouldn't have done this.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: And that brings to mind something one of my old bosses had hanging up in his office.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_01: It was a poster, and it said something like, the middle of every project feels like a complete disaster.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's really true.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm curious when we get to those moments where we feel like taking score and we are so ready to judge this thing as a complete disaster, how do we move past that and keep on going?
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_02: And and I often couple this with, you know, I love GPS analogies.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I think, wouldn't it be so much easier for us if we put in our destination, book is written, and we knew that our phone was gonna guide us there, right?
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_02: Our GPS was gonna guide us there.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_02: And even if it took us on an alternate route, there was like a detour, okay, okay, but I know there's like that pin at the end that's my destination.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_02: I know I'm gonna get there.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_02: And so it's okay if a few minutes or hours get added to my travel time, right?
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_02: It's this security that we're gonna get there, and so without that, that you're so right.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_02: We get to a certain point and there's this excitement in the beginning, and then we have all these questions really about ourselves and the worthiness of our writing and you know, the value of what we're writing, you know, to spread the message of to the world.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and we think someone else has done this better, and so we think, well, I I really should reverse course and set my GPS back to home.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_02: And the thing that I would say is we talk a lot, you and I, on uh when we're Dealing with my book and working on my book about this idea of alignment.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm not going to go too far into alignment, but I want to set up a visual.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_02: Let's say this place where you feel excited and really energized and just inspired is, you know, I like math, is this perfect sine wave.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_02: If you've ever seen just a perfect sine wave, right?
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_02: And so when we're getting a little rocky, our wave is not matching up to that perfect sine wave, right?
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_02: It's a little jagged, it's a little uneven.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_02: And so what we like to do is abandon ship.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_02: But I like to step back again.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_02: I get kind of meta and say, I'm just out of alignment.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_02: And this is a big one because I actually had a few days recently out of alignment, just for many reasons.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_02: And so I think that's wonderful because I can bring that to you and to all the listeners today.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_02: We naturally want to go through all the reasons why and justify why we're off.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I read this amazing book and I could never write like that.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_02: Or, you know, I just don't have enough to say, or, you know, I remember, I always give up and I always kind of lose steam at this point.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_02: That's always my narrative.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_02: So I know it's going to happen again, right?
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_02: So we kind of ruminate and justify why we're off.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_02: And I think the most powerful tool that I've developed just for me in navigating life is I don't need to keep justifying.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_02: I don't need to keep talking about it.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_02: I don't need to even understand why my sine wave no longer looks like a sine wave.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_02: Just knowing it is, it's off.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_02: And how do I get back on?
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_02: How do I get back in alignment?
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_02: And it's not usually something you can do psychologically, it's usually quieting your mind.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, sleep and meditation are huge tools for me, but stepping away and just quieting things down, softening rather than trying to go down the rabbit hole and get to the bottom of it.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_02: It's kind of like I shut the system down.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_02: And that's really my recommendation.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_02: When you hit all those bumps and you want to go back from whence you came, I think it's a great idea to say, isn't it great that I know that I'm out of alignment and I'm so sensitive to how I feel?
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_02: Time to reboot.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_02: I'm shutting the system down.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_01: What would you say are the signals that someone is out of alignment?
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_01: Can you break that down for us specifically?
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_02: There's, I mean, there's so many and they're so individual.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_02: They can be physical sensations.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes it's GI distress or feeling of tension in your chest, right?
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_02: Tension in your neck.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_02: So it can be physical.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um it for me, I mean, it's hard to know.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I used to teach yoga, and I would often say to my students, I don't know what this feels like because I don't live in your body.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_02: So it's easier for me to talk about what it feels like for me.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_02: Um it feels like something is off.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_02: I don't feel settled.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_02: My usual state feels really settled and grounded, and I feel just reactive.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like I'm at the top of the ocean where all the waves are choppy rather than down low where it's quiet and dark.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_01: So it's I almost wonder.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_01: I never really thought about this before, but I almost wonder if it is really difficult to get ourselves out of alignment unless we do this on a regular basis, unless we we know what we're what we're feeling and how to get ourselves out of that.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_01: There's almost a sense in which it's really hard to get yourself out of a bad state where you either need a coach or you need a community or a good friend, or you need someone else to help pull you out of that kind of a state.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_01: What what what are your thoughts on that?
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_01: How important is having someone else?
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_01: How important is it to have someone else help us out of a misalignment state?
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_02: I think if you're not used to coming out of it, it's a great idea to get some help.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um sometimes going to a friend is helpful, but sometimes a friend is gonna meet you where you are, so you feel good.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_02: And so that may not be very helpful.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_02: They're gonna sympathize, they're gonna empathize, and they're not gonna really give you tools to get you back in alignment.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so if having gone through many years of learning and navigating and figuring this out for myself, I know for me, I don't really need anyone.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_02: And I know that sounds horrible.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I love my husband and my parents, but for me to come back into alignment, I really need some time alone and I need to quiet things down because our habit with other people is often to rehash why we are where we are, and that's pretty much keeping us in the same place, yeah.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so it kind of depends on your your experience with quieting your mind and these kinds of tools and practices, um, but even knowing that how you feel, be like being self-aware enough to know that you're out of alignment is wonderful.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_02: And so a lot of times people will come to me and say, How is it wonderful?
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_02: I feel terrible, and I'll say, but isn't it good to know that you're off?
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_02: This is off.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_02: This is what it feels like to have a mismatched, you know, wave.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_02: So let's find some things to get your wave to sink back up to that nice smooth wave.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_02: But but this is the feeling of off.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_02: And it's really good to be aware of what that feels like.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_01: But how do you know if what am I trying to ask?
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, let me comment this from another way.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_01: So when you are doing a project that is scary or you are uncertain about how it's going to turn out, like writing a book, like let's say writing your first book, there's gonna be a natural element of fear of uncertainty of you're scared, you have some anxiety about it.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_01: How do you reconcile that with the the need or the urge to get out of that misalignment state?
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I guess what I'm really asking is are there times whenever it's good to have when when is anxiety and fear and stress, when are those good things that can propel us toward good results?
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_01: But when should we seek to also get out of those?
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_01: And how do we know the difference?
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so I think my answer is probably not going to be what other people would answer.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_02: And of course, that's fine.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_02: This concept that we have to get out of our comfort zone and have courage, and Nike's slogan, just do it.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_02: None of that resonates with me.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_02: I do not believe any of it, and it's okay if people do, but when you are in alignment, it feels like ease, it feels like knowing.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_02: And so it's not that you're gonna be lazy and unmotivated and not do big things, it's just that those big things are not gonna feel like quantum leaps.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_02: It's not gonna feel like you have to hold your breath and jump and not know if there's a trampoline on the ground floor, you know, it doesn't feel like that, it feels secure.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_02: And so you can do these big things, but you feel secure.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_01: Boy, that's an that's a really interesting perspective.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_01: I've never heard it put that way before.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_01: So if someone, let's say somebody's listening right now and they are in the middle of a book project and they feel a lot of anxiety or stress about it, what does that mean for them?
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_01: Should how can they get into a positive state with this project rather than feeling negative about it, even though they're excited?
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe they have some negativity or some misalignment around that.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_02: And and to be clear, anxiety doesn't mean abandoned ship, right?
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_02: That doesn't mean like, oh no, go back, go back.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_02: But it it doesn't you can keep going with the book and just feel very differently about it.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and so how do so how do you do that?
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_02: How do you do that?
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, that's a like$10 million,$100 billion question.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_02: Um, we're not used to radically caring about how we feel, and so we're opening Pandora's box again, right?
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_02: We're not used to somehow it seems very selfish.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_02: We don't really care only about how we feel, it's often in relationship to other people, and so if we take steps back and really prioritize how we feel almost in a silo, that's gonna allow us to show up in a whole different way in every part of our life, right?
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_02: In our relationships, it it just changes everything.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_02: And so writing that book feels exciting, it feels inspired, but it also feels safe and secure, it feels like freedom.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't feel like the bottom's gonna fall out.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_01: It really brings to mind the idea that so much stuff that's out there related to writing presents it as it's a negative thing, it's hard, it's stressful, you just gotta push through it.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_01: When I don't necessarily think it's true either.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I I think I think you and I really kind of look at this the same way.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_01: I don't understand why writing has to be hard.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like, why can't it be something that feels joyful?
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_01: Even when you know, when I'm working on a client book, why is there a reason why it has to feel hard?
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like, why can't it feel good and and fruitful and enjoyable and those kinds of things?
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_01: I've never really understood why so much of the writing community presents writing as something that you just have to kind of endure and put up with.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_01: I don't, I really don't know where that comes from.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you know, we have, I mean, all sorts of wild narratives and beliefs built around nothing is worthy of anything, right?
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_02: Unless you kind of bled and sweat through the process of it, right?
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_02: So building a business, writing a book, right, even changing your body's shape, right?
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_02: It it all has to be grueling and hard.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_02: Right, right, and so because we set that up, that's our expectation.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_02: And so expectations play a huge part of it.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_02: When we expect a narrative to go a certain way, well, it does.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you basically get what you expect in life, yeah.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_01: More or less.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_01: I see, I think that that insight right there is that in itself could be a whole thing.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_01: Just the idea of do you expect that writing a book is gonna be really stressful and difficult and anxiety ridden?
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_01: Well, then it's probably gonna be.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_01: But if if you expect that it's it's really not that complicated, it doesn't really take that long if you just sit down and do it, and especially if you enjoy it in the process, then it just becomes a whole different thing.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I wonder sometimes.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it's funny, we put off so many people I talk to when I tell them I'm writing a book, just conversation.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_02: People, so many people say they have this book that they've wanted to write.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so many people.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_02: And so I'll ask almost everybody, almost everyone.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_02: I'll ask them, Well, well, do you want me to connect you to Kent?
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_02: You know, or like I know people I can connect you to.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_02: Do you find connection?
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and and people, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it and it's so fascinating.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_02: Like there's this excitement, but then it's like this big boulder, and it's like, how are we ever going to push the boulder up the hill?
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_02: No, I'm not ready for that climb.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_02: I got, you know, I got taxes to do, and my kids are still at home.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_02: I can't, I can't push the boulder up the hill.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_02: And it's really just this story that I think so many people tell themselves.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_01: I think people might be surprised to know.
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_01: So, of course, you know, this my last book, 18 Words to Live By, just came out a couple of weeks ago.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_01: And most people might be surprised to know that I wrote that in just during the month of February.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, this wasn't like a big long, I've been kind of piddling around with it for a few months, but it really didn't take that long to do once I sat down to do it, and I really had fun doing it.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_01: So it's not like this process has to be some big laborious thing where you have to set aside these years of your life to do it.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_01: And and I wonder sometimes from kind of a what would I call it, like a spiritual, mystical kind of perspective.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not greatly like a woo-woo person, but I'm also intelligent enough to know, Kent.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_02: I think you're you're changing.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_01: I'm also intelligent enough to know that I don't know everything by a long shot.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I come to life with a certain perspective, and I'm even skeptical of my own perspective, you know, most of the time, which I think is good.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I think there's so much negative energy baked into the book writing process that by the time authors release books, they're so glad to get it off their plate.
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_01: And the process of creating that thing has been filled with so much negative energy that so many times the book just kind of flops.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I wonder if it does.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_01: We talk about marketing as if it's you just got to do kind of these XYZ systems and processes, and that that's part of it.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_01: But I wonder sometimes if books, if some books are not successful because of simply the negative energy that has been baked into the whole project from this from the get-go.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if that's true or not, but it it sounds like it should be true.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that what the negative energy that you're talking about is really comes back to that idea of expectations.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_02: We don't really have a a bel a desire for our book to do well.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_02: We do because we're writing it so that people read it, even if it's not a money thing.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_02: We do, we're writing it so that people will read it and we'll share ideas, but our expectation that people are gonna want to read it or people are gonna buy it, it's just not there.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_02: So we hire a marketer because we have this fear that people are not gonna buy it.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_02: And oh, okay, well, they're gonna help me, which is true, they are.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I I hired a marketer, right?
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_02: And I love working.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_02: It can be very helpful, and it's been really a wonderfully positive experience, but the negative energy that you're talking about is really the gap between desire, and I'm holding my hands in a funny way, and I know nobody can see me, but it's the gap between your desire and your expectation.
• 39:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and when those two match up, you feel great, yeah.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_02: And when they don't, you feel like it's impossible and it feels disheartening, and it feels you feel gutted because you wrote this book and you don't believe anyone's really going to read it.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_01: Man, I think you've hit the nail on the head right there.
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_01: So for everybody listening, maybe it's it's worth really doing a deep dive into our own hearts and minds and asking, do we really believe people are going to be interested in this book?
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_01: And giving ourselves a super, super honest answer about that.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_01: And if we don't believe they are, why why are we doing it?
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_02: Well, if you don't believe it, that can be changed.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely, right?
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_02: That can be changed.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_02: So if you're honest with yourself and you say, you know, I really don't think anyone's gonna buy this, that thought can be changed.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_02: That that thought, we don't have to figure out how that came to being, but it probably was like, you know, you were in third grade and you and your teacher was very uh, you know, dismissive, right?
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_02: And then you were like that, all these things right build up over time in these patterns.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_02: And so it seems just so natural that nobody is going to buy my book, and we can soften that and we can change that.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_01: Man, that's a critical insight, right there.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's really, really critical.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_02: That's not truth.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_02: That's the thing.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_02: Don't believe everything you think.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_02: That thought that nobody's gonna buy it is not truth, and you're gonna come up with a million reasons why.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_02: You're gonna justify it, you're gonna tell your friends, you're gonna tell your marketer why no one's gonna buy it, you're gonna tell your editor why no one's gonna buy it, or you might keep all those things hidden.
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_02: But that is just a thought, and it's gained power and momentum over time because you've thought it for a really long time.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_01: We give certain people in our lives way too much credibility, and and I know teacher, and I was a college teacher for a long time, so I guess I can speak to this um with a little bit of experience, where so many people will blame you know their teachers, like, oh, my English teacher, I got a D in English when I was in high school, or this teacher told me I couldn't write, or whatever.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I sort of feel like just saying, Well, why are you giving that person so much power over your life to begin with?
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_01: They were just a teacher, and yeah, they were just they were just trying to get through their day dealing with a hundred kids and you know, 30 kids crammed into a classroom six times a day, or my math.
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not a math person.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_01: That's not a hundred, that's like 180, but whatever.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_02: You're so right, and and we gave them a lot of power, and we don't have to demonize them.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_01: No, they're they're just a flawed human like all of us are.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_02: They're just human, they're just human and they have their own story, and we don't know that year that you had them, what was going on in their life.
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, I've had students come back to me years after I've had them in college, and and I've never had a student tell me I've negatively impacted them.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, they wouldn't tell me that anyway.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure that I did, everybody does.
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_01: But I have had students come back and say, Oh, I remember in class you said this one thing that really had helped me or it changed this certain thing in my life or whatever.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_01: And most of the time I'm scratching my head going, I have no recollection of what you're talking about.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'm glad that I did something that was helpful, but I don't know what you're talking about.
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_01: I don't remember that.
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_01: So it's funny that we give these people so much power in our lives when half the time it was just some offhanded thing they said or some little minor thing.
• 43:15
  SPEAKER_01: But we have taken it and we've created this vast meaning out of it so much of the time.
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I just want to say, why are we giving our parents, our teachers, our siblings, these other people, why are you giving these people so much so much room to speak into your life in that way?
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like they're just humans who we all say and do stupid things.
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know, it's just something worth thinking about.
• 43:36
  SPEAKER_01: I I think.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I feel like I've been to to therapy because you've made me think so much in a good way, in a good way.
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_01: In a very, very good way.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_01: You just somehow, Melissa, you have the ability to really get to the heart of issues and to be very wise about things and to really make people think.
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I I think you have a a really stunning gift.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: gift within that.
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm excited to see how that gift is going to come out in your book when it gets released, you know, over the next months and and year or so.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_01: So you've got some really cool stuff going on.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm excited to see where all this goes for you.
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_02: I appreciate that.
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_02: And it's exciting to think about how I'm evolving too.
• 44:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_00: For sure.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_02: That that that feels free and liberating to say that this conversation is just a moment in time.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it is.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_02: So if we come back in six months, I may have a different perspective and a different take and I'm and I'm evolving and and I enjoy bearing witness to my own evolution.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_01: That needs to be on a poster somewhere.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_01: I'm bearing witness to my own evolution.
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we've all had that teacher before who um you know that they were they used the same notes for 25 years to teach the same class.
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_01: They taught it in the same way.
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_01: And um I have no desire to be that kind of a person.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_01: I mean for all of us it isn't it our hope that we could write a book and then in 10 years you could look at that book and go, yeah, I've changed my mind on this and this and this and I would do this differently and it's shouldn't that be what what we all should want?
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_01: We want to grow and change.
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_02: And and and then to have grace grace about what we wrote.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_02: That was who I was yep you know we're we're we're so hard on ourselves.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_01: We are I I don't get it you know there was um this has been a few months ago so my wife I don't remember who the friend was that she had she had a friend who had a friend who had written a book.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_01: I think it was a book of poetry or something and um my wife had showed me the book or no I'm I forget where I got it.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_01: It was like a friend of a friend of a friend and I had gotten this book somehow in it like the cover was really really bad.
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_01: The formatting was all messed up on the inside like it was it was a really badly self-published book.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_01: At the same time though um I showed to my wife we both sort of cringed at the cover a little bit but I said you know what there are a lot of things that they needed to improve with this but anybody who puts out a book even if I look at it objectively and I go okay it could have been a lot better I still have immense respect for anybody who publishes a book good or bad whatever it is because they actually did it.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_01: They got over their fear they they put their thoughts and their words out into the world and I honestly have immense respect for that and I really really do so I totally agree.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_02: And um I also believe that well you know that I believe this because you've read my book um that there's a thread of more than human in us right and that's really the thread that connects all of us and um the reason that I have love for everyone is because we're no one's a stranger really.
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_02: We're all related I can yes we're all related and so in that book that's not exactly perfectly self-published I can see a piece of me there and have a lot of compassion and love and respect you know totally and that's nice it's really great when you can feel that way and say you know but isn't it wonderful that she did this it's out there.
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly exactly and I I do really I mean I I do really look at people like well we are all actually related you know and I don't I don't just mean DNA wise but yeah you know we all have it's sort of that six degrees of Kevin Bacon thing which is really true.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like you can really link yourself to just about anybody in in six degrees or seven or something like that.
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah we're all family so when am I coming to Thanksgiving?
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_01: Well any anytime you want anytime you want I don't think we'll be here because we always go somewhere else but uh come along with us come along with us I hope you like mashed potatoes because I love mashed potatoes.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah all right I'm in well Melissa this has been an absolute blast I appreciate you taking time to be an esteemed guest on this show.
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_01: I have loved this conversation I could talk to you for hours you're such a wise person and you're the kind of person that I just I love to hang out with and at some point we're gonna have to hang out like actually be in the same space.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah oh it's gonna happen it's gonna happen at some point at some point for sure at some point yeah well let's close close out this way can you um tell people just a little bit about your upcoming book and where they can get in touch with you and learn learn more about all the cool things that you're doing sure so my upcoming book we're working on the title but it's around joy um and how to incorporate more joy into your life um I'm quite excited about it and I have loved working with you.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_01: Well thank you it's been a blast thank you and if anyone wants updates on what I'm doing I do have a newsletter that I send out um and I talk about the book and all of that good stuff um you can go to my website and sign up for my newsletter which is melissabloom.life so reach out awesome well thank you so much we'll have links to all that in the show notes of course thank you well it's been an honor and a blast and Melissa thanks again for being a guest thank you Kent well I was really blessed by this conversation and as I said in in the intro Melissa is one of those people who is just really really wise two seconds into any conversation with Melissa you get a sense that you're talking to a person who is highly in tune with themselves highly empathetic and just a very wise compassionate person.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_01: And unfortunately uh there are way too few of those kinds of people in the world today but I consider it I consider myself very fortunate that I get to call Melissa a friend and that I was able to have her on the podcast today.
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_01: I would say my biggest takeaway from this conversation is the concept of writing for where you are right now.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_01: And you know we mentioned this in the conversation but I just want to reiterate this point here because it really impacted me the idea that we have to write for where we are in our journey right now.
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever project you're working on, there's always the temptation to create you know the great American novel or the great American nonfiction book or the last word on this specific topic and we put all this pressure on ourselves to create some big magnum opus on whatever we're right we're writing about.
• 51:02
  SPEAKER_01: But we can't do that.
• 51:03
  SPEAKER_01: I mean number one it's really hard to create a magnum opus in anything but also that's a lot of pressure and and if we just focus on creating something that reflects where we are right now in our journey I think that's going to help a lot more people and we'll get it done a lot faster because you're gonna be a different person two or five or 10 or 20 years from now.
• 51:25
  SPEAKER_01: And you're gonna look back at what you wrote today in a few years and you're gonna think hey I've grown since then but that's okay.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_01: That's the way that art works and that's the way that life works.
• 51:35
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have a movie director who's 25 years into their career say, man, if my if I made that movie at the beginning of my career the exact same way today, it would be great.
• 51:45
  SPEAKER_01: They say no, there are a lot of things I would change because they grow and they they develop as a director and all artists and writers and creatives are like that.
• 51:53
  SPEAKER_01: So don't worry about creating the one and only novel or the one and only nonfiction book you know that the world is ever going to know based on what you're doing right now.
• 52:01
  SPEAKER_01: Just worry about creating the one thing that you have to say for right now.
• 52:06
  SPEAKER_01: Put it down, get it done and move on to the next thing.
• 52:09
  SPEAKER_01: Well I really want to encourage you to check out Melissa's site which is MelissaBloom.com as well as encouraging you to sign up for Melissa's newsletter and there will be a link for that in the show notes.
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_01: Melissa has a great newsletter it's really really full of great stuff to help you become a healthier and more uh more whole person so I really encourage you to sign up for that as well as connecting with her on social media and of course there will be links to all that in the show notes.
• 52:34
  SPEAKER_01: Well I want to thank Melissa for taking time to be a guest today and for giving us so much wisdom to help us move past fear, doubt and overwhelm.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_01: This is really really fun and so helpful.
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks so much for listening to today's episode.
• 52:47
  SPEAKER_01: If you've been listening to this show for any length of time you know that one of the four practices of a great writer is creativity.
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_01: And in order to stay creative you've got to have great input and that's where writing prompts come in.
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_01: A writing prompt is a sentence or two that helps you break through creative blocks, brainstorm new ideas, and get back into a state of flow.
• 53:08
  SPEAKER_01: Writing prompts are an awesome creative tool for journaling, storytelling, creative writing, stress relief, social media posts, and so much more but the great news is that you don't have to create these yourself.
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_01: We've put together an amazing package of 365 daily writing prompts so every day for the next year you can have a shot of inspiration delivered straight to your inbox.
• 53:31
  SPEAKER_01: You can check it out at dailyriderlife commriting prompts thanks and I'll see you tomorrow