Latest / The Bald Brothers Podcast / 45: Man Chopped Off His Own Peen While Dreaming | #isawthisontheinternet

Transcript

45: Man Chopped Off His Own Peen While Dreaming | #isawthisontheinternet · The Bald Brothers Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: All right, what up y'all?
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: Welcome to I Saw This on the Internet, a podcast
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: where comedian friends and I talk about random stories that
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: you submit. You can submit you're the Internet at kevil
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: on stage dot com. Today we got Patrick Cloud, Lulu Gonzalez,
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: and to hear more. Make sure to follow Make sure
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: to follow them on their own social media. Pull up
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: on they have stuff to pull up, support their Patreon
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: and all that jazz. Today's first story, man chops off
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: his own penis during a dream about slaughtering a goat.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: Wait a minute.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: Man in Ghana Leslie cut off his own penis while
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: he was having a dream about slaughtering a goat. According
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: to gh one TV, which is based in Ghana, the
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: man has been identified as forty year old Kofi Ota,
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: who's also known as wolfa Otta. He said, and I
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: quote the victim, oh no, oh.
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: No, oops, that's no goat.
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: It had to be a clean chop because like, if
• 1:09
  Speaker 4: you was going back and forth, you don't wake up.
• 1:11
  Speaker 5: You probably pulled me out on this.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but how don't do.
• 1:14
  Speaker 5: That in your sleep?
• 1:15
  Speaker 6: How big is this? How do you like? They said
• 1:22
  Speaker 6: it on the counter, like how do you just do what? Clean?
• 1:25
  Speaker 6: Obviously he woke up after that. That ship had the
• 1:28
  Speaker 6: way there.
• 1:29
  Speaker 5: That didn't wake him up.
• 1:30
  Speaker 7: But how would you grab your dick where it feels
• 1:31
  Speaker 7: like a goatsn neck?
• 1:32
  Speaker 5: Why did he have a knife so close.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: People who sleep walk, they have like very vivid sleepwalking dreams.
• 1:39
  Speaker 7: They can walk all the way, walk.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Into the kitchen. They eat stuff before knew I was.
• 1:48
  Speaker 5: Walking.
• 1:50
  Speaker 7: You're awake to hear, so you seal.
• 1:56
  Speaker 6: You're telling me you got in the car, drove the subway,
• 1:59
  Speaker 6: and three and the more.
• 2:00
  Speaker 5: It all while you was asleep. Ordered the fool.
• 2:04
  Speaker 7: He's waiting by the microwave. You're eating it up.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: It's just like you don't have to lie, you just
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: get you want to stand.
• 2:16
  Speaker 7: I'm still here.
• 2:17
  Speaker 5: It's always I'm still I did I act like I'm
• 2:24
  Speaker 5: sleep like it's always.
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: When I was telling her I'm about to die, that
• 2:27
  Speaker 4: you can't be eating something, She's like, what I thought
• 2:28
  Speaker 4: we was dying.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: That's why you can't diet, man. The word and diet
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: is die. You can't do that.
• 2:36
  Speaker 6: You think it's if you don't diet, you tomato.
• 2:43
  Speaker 5: I'm not gonna be the problem.
• 2:45
  Speaker 7: Both eat a tomato and tomato.
• 2:49
  Speaker 5: With yours was a way you said you should eat.
• 2:59
  Speaker 7: Milkshake, milks, barbecue, chocolate.
• 3:08
  Speaker 5: Nigga, that's dumb It dawn baby shock.
• 3:12
  Speaker 8: Nobody never said shocks like milk chocolates.
• 3:25
  Speaker 5: Same thing. I'm not to people that say.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: Recent black folks be saying, you know, I never heard
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: a lot of I've heard a lot of black people
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: saying species.
• 3:39
  Speaker 5: I never heard that till like pieces.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: I've heard PC's pieces.
• 3:48
  Speaker 7: I heard a lot of.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: Long ship.
• 3:51
  Speaker 5: Fan of candy. I be like, niggas, stop, we add.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: Answers to a lot folks.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: Nor Strom. It's just it's not it's Costco.
• 4:04
  Speaker 5: Which way is Northrum Costco?
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: He's Costco. It's not Costco singular, but it's more than one.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: Each one is an individual.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: Unless you're talking about, you know, Costco going to Costco.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: There's all you could say. There's a lot of Costcos
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: in America. Yeah, yeah, but Costco is a singular word, Cosco.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: Jon Penny.
• 4:27
  Speaker 5: Penny, it's Penny Penny.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: It was named after a dude named Jacon Penny who
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: might have been black. That was due he was Penny.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: They was like they're gonna throw as on that. Don't
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: worry about it.
• 4:39
  Speaker 6: Jason penny Well, McDonald's is apostrophe, so some people some
• 4:44
  Speaker 6: do it, Okay, some do it.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: The funniest thing about McDonald's is that was their name.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: But Ray Kroc was is credited as being the founder
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: of McDonald's and that nigga was just the.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: Worst, just the most cutthroat businessman ever about that, the founder.
• 5:01
  Speaker 5: It's a couple of documentaries.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: It's amazing.
• 5:04
  Speaker 9: There should be there should be some laws that like
• 5:07
  Speaker 9: prevent ridiculous things from happening.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: In capitalism America. Man with business, they don't care.
• 5:12
  Speaker 7: That man took the name and the frond there.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: He took there, and the factual name and.
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: The food and the food and all that, but that
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: he was there, Like why don't you just change the crops?
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: He was like, my name is ugly. McDonald's sounds.
• 5:28
  Speaker 6: Name was working so well for me, and you guys
• 5:31
  Speaker 6: already kind of built it up.
• 5:35
  Speaker 7: I don't want to start from scratch.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: The craziest things he had the first McDonald's was in
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: like San Bernardino.
• 5:40
  Speaker 7: It's like a little standard.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: And he won the lawsuit and he they didn't for
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: whatever reason, they didn't even fight for their actual name.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: And he won, like he stole their name from them.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: With McDonald's Corporation, that was the real.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: Estate underneath the company, right, and when he stole their name,
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: they had to change that McDonald's name to like Big M.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Hamburger's or something like that.
• 6:00
  Speaker 5: That's so sad.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: And that was the only one they had, right, he
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: had all the other McDonald's.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: This nigga put a McDonald's across the street and ran
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: that one business out of business.
• 6:10
  Speaker 9: So he could have just been like, sorry, y'all, but
• 6:13
  Speaker 9: just can't tell me the.
• 6:14
  Speaker 5: History of briskets. It started with my great great great
• 6:18
  Speaker 5: great great hog Father.
• 6:19
  Speaker 6: Now we're talking about father Father.
• 6:24
  Speaker 5: Hog Father heard hisself cut a piece of his breast off.
• 6:31
  Speaker 5: Thank God.
• 6:32
  Speaker 10: It's like the Godfather, like you come to me on
• 6:35
  Speaker 10: the day of my bacon was.
• 6:39
  Speaker 5: A very deep smeeezing. Somebody steps on to tell you.
• 6:49
  Speaker 4: Because I have the nerve to ask me for redus
• 6:53
  Speaker 4: is hilarious because they ain't gonna just kill you. They're
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: going to eat you. You'll get barbecued at the next
• 6:58
  Speaker 4: the next week.
• 6:58
  Speaker 5: How do you know the history McDonald's.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: I'm That's what I'm saying.
• 7:04
  Speaker 5: I'm also telling me about the Roman Empire.
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: So that's funny. I didn't want to answer that.
• 7:11
  Speaker 10: King ruled from eighteen ninety.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: But when I saw that, it was like crazy Roman,
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: I tell you, I be all like this.
• 7:26
  Speaker 5: I love was dominating Earth.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: Think about that a lot.
• 7:31
  Speaker 5: They was just like, we want this as soon as
• 7:33
  Speaker 5: they find new land.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: Was like, yeah, that's our suit.
• 7:35
  Speaker 5: Yes, I lock it.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: So it's my I was like, bro, they had business.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: The Senate that we have is based on the Roman government,
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: I feel, and America I would be thinking that America
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: is going to follow the stame steps of the Roman
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: government because America not the super power used to be.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: And Greece ain't even what Greece is exactly. Romans in
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: Italy said, I know, I had Italy. Yeah, what I
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: said about Greece is true, but mixed your food.
• 8:03
  Speaker 5: You just threw Greek was like Greek salad, Caesar salad.
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: No no, no, he said grease, he said fried grease,
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: taking greed, grease, change.
• 8:17
  Speaker 5: The grape seed oil. You know that grease.
• 8:19
  Speaker 7: Don't be hitting the empire.
• 8:24
  Speaker 10: So you know, so crazy that that's why I'm single,
• 8:28
  Speaker 10: because I think about the Roman Empire.
• 8:30
  Speaker 5: All the time. I'm saying I've seen.
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: I've seen you on wrestling bars. That's not why you're single.
• 8:40
  Speaker 4: It stopped to stop time. Yeah, you change tires with
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: no tools, that's what.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: I Actually have.
• 8:48
  Speaker 10: A movie called The Eagle on my phone that I've
• 8:50
  Speaker 10: been trying to rewatch, and it's about the Roman Empire.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: Why are you laughing at me? Marcus?
• 8:56
  Speaker 11: Really the first see what people I was saying talking about?
• 9:04
  Speaker 11: Actually they're wagging down.
• 9:06
  Speaker 5: Let me off at the dodge, nigger, Marcus early and
• 9:09
  Speaker 5: something my audible.
• 9:10
  Speaker 7: So listen to what's going on with y'all?
• 9:14
  Speaker 5: They nerding out right nerd.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: About waves?
• 9:20
  Speaker 5: What the were you trying to say?
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I shouldn't.
• 9:23
  Speaker 5: Desire to get it.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: Weaves and laves away. I was trying to think about
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: sulf for a while. That would work.
• 9:31
  Speaker 7: Can't be naked with the Trojan hands?
• 9:33
  Speaker 12: All right, Tonight we're going Julius Cestuff, the inventor of
• 9:43
  Speaker 12: the Cason salad.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: All of this.
• 9:45
  Speaker 5: It was my fool.
• 9:46
  Speaker 4: We were like, tonight we're watching Oreo and Juliet.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: That's funny because you can Julian Potato.
• 9:59
  Speaker 13: And I really, or Shakespeare, Hamburger, Hamlet.
• 10:15
  Speaker 6: There's so many. It shouldn't be that many but there's
• 10:17
  Speaker 6: so many you're doing salivate nobo there, set up anymore.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: I'm set up, fellow old.
• 10:32
  Speaker 7: I don't know.
• 10:33
  Speaker 5: Any more place.
• 10:34
  Speaker 7: I ran out of place.
• 10:38
  Speaker 13: Yeah, hamburger, hamlet footloose.
• 10:46
  Speaker 7: What else is.
• 10:53
  Speaker 5: To or not waited that for you?
• 11:00
  Speaker 6: No place like to eat?
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: It is food.
• 11:06
  Speaker 5: It is it is to eat. Not a lot of
• 11:15
  Speaker 5: substance in this. Thank you guys.
• 11:21
  Speaker 7: A brisket buy out that name last.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: Week here was the one who was eating brisket that night.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: I want that It was not that night at three
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: a m. Don't bring that, but.
• 11:35
  Speaker 5: You have the that's what. Yeah, you are in the
• 11:38
  Speaker 5: wood them. But now it's walk man and you fan.
• 11:50
  Speaker 7: Drone footage that night lighting fire. You just keep getting
• 11:55
  Speaker 7: caught there to whom the brisket tolls. The brisket shows me.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: Just pulling a sword off the brisket.
• 12:08
  Speaker 6: I am the one, the one I was actually Jesus
• 12:11
  Speaker 6: ready for anyone can at the round.
• 12:19
  Speaker 7: That's on purpose, the victory.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: The first he got briskets and.
• 12:33
  Speaker 5: A nigga pulling out of sandwich in a fight.
• 12:37
  Speaker 6: I don't know why he doesn't just do this in
• 12:39
  Speaker 6: his kitchen, drives three hours out into.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: The wood, my god friends, romans, briskets.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: Let me keep me Charles man, that's funny, Charles boy,
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: what's up, my boy?
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: Let the lords wearing bread rolls.
• 13:00
  Speaker 8: And.
• 13:02
  Speaker 7: Someone said, midsummer night snack.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: Mid summer night snack.
• 13:10
  Speaker 7: That's funny. At this point you got to know a
• 13:12
  Speaker 7: little bit about Shakespeare. I think we got all the
• 13:17
  Speaker 7: surface stuff I was.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: I was in a Shakespeare playing in college that was
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: adapted to be to take place during the Civil War,
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: and I played a slave. D what that got killed
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: by by eating too much?
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: You had?
• 13:34
  Speaker 5: You was a Shakespeare.
• 13:35
  Speaker 6: He was picking cotton, candy, pink, light blue, you're mad purple.
• 13:43
  Speaker 6: All the other swaves and slim and cams is out
• 13:46
  Speaker 6: there looking like himself, like you don't do no work, nigga,
• 13:50
  Speaker 6: it's just a lot of It's like it's hella back
• 13:57
  Speaker 6: to are you licorice? Five lashes? He did?
• 14:05
  Speaker 5: Now, yom, you keep eating it?
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: Give me twenty more.
• 14:14
  Speaker 7: Last.
• 14:16
  Speaker 5: Timing is impressive. I do bad things on purpose, bad things.
• 14:29
  Speaker 5: Give them twenty red and other.
• 14:33
  Speaker 7: Use the liquorice this time. Give me some twizzling black liquors.
• 14:38
  Speaker 5: Nobody eats them.
• 14:42
  Speaker 6: Twenty make it his whip is this.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: Long, and.
• 14:50
  Speaker 7: Bring me another one? Playing hard to get.
• 15:07
  Speaker 5: Beat them with pretzel sticks, the salted time, that's picking cotton.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: He can come back. What do you do today?
• 15:28
  Speaker 5: Take the bag.
• 15:31
  Speaker 7: With the stats are crazy?
• 15:32
  Speaker 6: He did three fields today, Killy turned in half a bag.
• 15:37
  Speaker 6: But the it is he's ambitions.
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: Oh to Brian own self be true.
• 15:47
  Speaker 5: Wow, that's that's how you dostma. You got a Brian
• 15:53
  Speaker 5: and Postromi.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: That's great.
• 15:56
  Speaker 5: Oh yelloello, that's great. You got it.
• 16:01
  Speaker 7: Okay, yeah, we're inside baseball now. I don't know anything else.
• 16:09
  Speaker 5: Shakespeare face hurt.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: Brisk it be the.
• 16:15
  Speaker 7: Hey, Shakespeare was kind.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: Of mean to me.
• 16:17
  Speaker 5: Noah, I speak for yourself.
• 16:19
  Speaker 7: I couldn't understand it. It seemed like he was going
• 16:21
  Speaker 7: it was like lawyer talking, was going out of his
• 16:22
  Speaker 7: way to make it kind of confusing.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: Poetic.
• 16:25
  Speaker 9: Brom Me on Juliet was straight, but it was like,
• 16:27
  Speaker 9: there's so many other options.
• 16:29
  Speaker 7: They were like, our families don't like each other, trying
• 16:31
  Speaker 7: to kill each other. We'll show them poison.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: Who's your favorite play right?
• 16:37
  Speaker 7: Play right? Who's my favorite play right?
• 16:42
  Speaker 5: I mean that's the correct term.
• 16:43
  Speaker 10: I know, but it's like time of parent I was coming.
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: I do that was.
• 16:53
  Speaker 5: Right by myself, black woman, But you gotta do. You
• 17:00
  Speaker 5: got to give pat some grace.
• 17:01
  Speaker 10: He just learned how to flys like week ago. We
• 17:06
  Speaker 10: taught him on squad casts. It's not that I didn't
• 17:08
  Speaker 10: know how.
• 17:09
  Speaker 5: What is this happening?
• 17:10
  Speaker 7: It's just it hurt when I did it, so I stopped.
• 17:13
  Speaker 7: But then I got the water picking.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: We all good.
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: He wasn't doing you know, he wasn't doing it regularly.
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: That's why I was hurting. And he's like, I'm always bleeding.
• 17:20
  Speaker 4: When I was like, you ain't doing it or you're
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: doing it.
• 17:24
  Speaker 5: Bled because he was going like that's like a cartoon character.
• 17:28
  Speaker 5: He was like cartoon character. And then people and he
• 17:36
  Speaker 5: ran off to get.
• 17:39
  Speaker 4: He also was flossing with his locks, which was lot's
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: why they looked.
• 17:43
  Speaker 5: Like they had this tea. Looked like, Dad, everything makes
• 17:46
  Speaker 5: more sense than we did. Really that look he went
• 17:53
  Speaker 5: to go get He went and got something. It was like, right,
• 17:55
  Speaker 5: this is how I.
• 17:57
  Speaker 7: Started. He was like bleeding. Look here the fighting.
• 18:09
  Speaker 5: Ready for the one in the middle. Put the podcast. Man,
• 18:16
  Speaker 5: I have to shut up.
• 18:17
  Speaker 7: Shut up, I don't want to do.
• 18:21
  Speaker 5: Send me some dates. I told you asked every time.
• 18:25
  Speaker 7: That's what we're doing. That's what we're doing all day
• 18:27
  Speaker 7: Monday at noon.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: Give me up, do it last morning.
• 18:29
  Speaker 5: I'm not ehatting you up.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: You want to get on the show, you line up
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: when you're available last Monday.
• 18:34
  Speaker 4: Do I need to go through your assistant because she's
• 18:37
  Speaker 4: so she's not there.
• 18:43
  Speaker 5: I don't run through Sad. I know you have four
• 18:46
  Speaker 5: sell you five and five and four years?
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: No, four and four and four years?
• 18:52
  Speaker 7: What are you doing to these people before?
• 18:54
  Speaker 6: He's making keep off the Popeyes.
• 18:59
  Speaker 5: That's not a person. It was just like brisket, brisket, brisket,
• 19:05
  Speaker 5: brisk hit.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: Me on one. I wanted the woman behind.
• 19:09
  Speaker 6: Jimmy Joe's not a person. Can I wouldn't put it
• 19:17
  Speaker 6: an a legend blue label, Jimmy blue label.
• 19:24
  Speaker 5: I thought it would be to Blood Cell.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: Blood was on a Netflix show. It was a barbecue show.
• 19:31
  Speaker 5: So you're right, like love notes.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: There was a whole eight episodes of Barbecue Competition.
• 19:37
  Speaker 7: I was like he was backstage like rappers.
• 19:40
  Speaker 6: Girlfriends like getting the story. There you go, there go,
• 19:46
  Speaker 6: bloody exclusive performance. Everyone's going crazy.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: About it.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: They had the open flame competition. They had they had
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: to cook on the ground one time? How to go
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: keep the tips underground? Yeah, they had like Hawaiian like.
• 20:05
  Speaker 4: Hawaiian style they had they had volcano volcanic saying, and
• 20:09
  Speaker 4: that's why it.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: Was just regular ground. Oh shit.
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: And they had one where they had to cook out
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: of like washing machines and foul cabinis had to make
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: barbecue grills out of that.
• 20:18
  Speaker 10: Did you have a glass of while while you was
• 20:19
  Speaker 10: watching Glass Saw? He was on somebody show.
• 20:24
  Speaker 6: Us a Masterpiece summer ninety eight.
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: This is a Baby Ray funny sweet baby right, Oh,
• 20:38
  Speaker 4: please excuse me.
• 20:40
  Speaker 6: This is a ninety four Baby Rays like that's expired.
• 20:44
  Speaker 6: It's not how barbecue somewhere.
• 20:47
  Speaker 7: That's why I threw up three times.
• 20:50
  Speaker 5: I just could have happened.
• 20:52
  Speaker 7: This is a nineteen sixty two Hickories smoked. Yeah, that's
• 20:56
  Speaker 7: that's poisonous style.
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: That's Nobody in the Patreon watched this. Don't leave me
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: out here by myself.
• 21:11
  Speaker 5: Just a whole bunch of different sauces.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: Show down. I don't know. You've been saying you two
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: is broke. Bro I'm telling they've been. They've been sharing
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: ads during some.
• 21:21
  Speaker 7: Live y'all just saw an ad right now, yeah, to show.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: If you don't do if you don't And then I
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: got an email from YouTube that was like, you can't
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: choose where your ads go no more?
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: Did y'all get that?
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: A couple of weeks ago I got to ask for
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: YouTube that was like, we know you used to tell
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: you could put your ads whatever and decide skippable here.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: They was like, I can't afford that's over with. We'll
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: decide where the ads are going.
• 21:43
  Speaker 6: I don't know because like do they do they stop
• 21:45
  Speaker 6: us and show the ad or did they just not
• 21:47
  Speaker 6: see what.
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: Wondering when y'all come back? Are y'all are y'all seeing
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: the same commercial?
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Premium, I've had that for years.
• 21:57
  Speaker 5: I just want to know a big ship about Kevin free.
• 22:00
  Speaker 5: And then we got it.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: Was like, oh, nigga, once you don't have it for
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: you be forgetting premium.
• 22:04
  Speaker 7: You don't got no ad no before you download videos?
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: I got so many time my phone.
• 22:11
  Speaker 10: You can keep your YouTube open and go do to
• 22:13
  Speaker 10: other apps?
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: Did it for my birthday? Mirror had the nineties birthday party?
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because I wouldn't have ads.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: And then after I was I can't.
• 22:23
  Speaker 5: Go you can't go back After that how much is
• 22:25
  Speaker 5: it a month?
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: They'll be going on?
• 22:26
  Speaker 5: I think, but it's worthday.
• 22:29
  Speaker 4: Ain't gonna hold you like we watched I used to
• 22:30
  Speaker 4: talk about the kid always watching YouTube.
• 22:32
  Speaker 5: We use YouTube in the house all the time.
• 22:34
  Speaker 4: When people come on, we'll play music or watch videos
• 22:37
  Speaker 4: and stuff like that.
• 22:37
  Speaker 5: I use the way more than than I thought.
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: I would have. So did I, And it's crazy how
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: much my kids use it.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like it's their number one streaming platform YouTube, premium YouTube.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: I mean they all they got premium to, I mean,
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: not their own. It's a family plan.
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: Yes, I didn't think that stuffy. Everything is YouTube.
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: When we go to a trip and we're like, hey,
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: down on some stuff on Netflix, they download like people
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: watching video, you know, the playing the game stuff. Jojo
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: watches that, and Isai downloads like NBA videos and stuff,
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: and they just be watching that on the plane.
• 23:09
  Speaker 9: YouTube has all the like the fun, guilty pleasure stuff.
• 23:12
  Speaker 9: Netflix is kind of like you sit down and watch
• 23:14
  Speaker 9: something that you like. But YouTube that's where you go
• 23:16
  Speaker 9: and just like watch turtles getting the ship scraped off
• 23:20
  Speaker 9: random stuff.
• 23:21
  Speaker 7: You're like, da, how did I watch seven videos of this?
• 23:23
  Speaker 7: Bruh barnacle removals.
• 23:28
  Speaker 5: I'm watching that on Instagram too.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, watching the people do hoof cleaning and stuff.
• 23:37
  Speaker 7: Yeah, that's amazing.
• 23:39
  Speaker 6: Para loves that and the carpet clean video Clean powerwa washing.
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: All the niggas who be keep cleaning people's cars like
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: it starts off off Yah, yeah, take off like everything.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: They basically skin your car.
• 23:51
  Speaker 5: Yeah, boring as fun.
• 23:54
  Speaker 4: She did a watch party with uh a carpet cleaning videos.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: When the line comes back.
• 24:03
  Speaker 10: I've been watching like first forty eight, that's like my therapyt.
• 24:06
  Speaker 5: You to here be watching, watched like that cruise ship
• 24:10
  Speaker 5: Cruise Ship murders.
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: What happened?
• 24:14
  Speaker 7: That's like that's like a who done it? The murderer
• 24:17
  Speaker 7: is still here?
• 24:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's crazy because you literally on the same vessel
• 24:20
  Speaker 4: with the murder.
• 24:21
  Speaker 14: So you don't know I got killed? Yeah, I wait
• 24:29
  Speaker 14: what that beat up that happened? Cruise Ship Murders is
• 24:33
  Speaker 14: my ships Netflix. That's on Peacock.
• 24:35
  Speaker 5: Peacock got some ship.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: I might get it said, I've been watching the World's
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: Toughest prisons.
• 24:42
  Speaker 5: Not that I watch. Have you watched them?
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: Why you vicar? I'd be like, this is crazy.
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: I remember sixty days in well like civilians willingly go
• 24:55
  Speaker 4: to jail to either see what it's like or they
• 24:57
  Speaker 4: want to be comp so they want to be undercover
• 24:59
  Speaker 4: cop something like that. So they willingly go to jail
• 25:02
  Speaker 4: and pretend like they're not who they cameras are.
• 25:05
  Speaker 5: Yeah, but the cameras are always there filming something for prison.
• 25:09
  Speaker 5: That's so random.
• 25:10
  Speaker 7: Prisoners are just like, that's the Channel five fruit here.
• 25:13
  Speaker 4: Again, the president should have been the first sack strike them.
• 25:16
  Speaker 4: Niggas ain't getting nothing.
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: Yes, probably paid them three gone.
• 25:26
  Speaker 5: You get eighteen soups that you you the mind up
• 25:28
  Speaker 5: in there. You're the man.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: What if you don't want soup? Man, that's the highest
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: value there. It's a that's the soup and cigarettes.
• 25:37
  Speaker 4: But it's a food stand out here that makes jail
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: food and yes, spreads. It's out here. I saw the YouTube,
• 25:46
  Speaker 4: I mean not the YouTube page, but the i G page.
• 25:48
  Speaker 4: But like they make like the pizzas with the top
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: ramin like the whole thing.
• 25:53
  Speaker 7: Like I can't let it go.
• 25:54
  Speaker 9: Let it go, man, you free, free, willingly eating prison food,
• 25:59
  Speaker 9: insane pizza.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: I don't want it.
• 26:02
  Speaker 10: I want I want who out the toilet like what
• 26:06
  Speaker 10: I was watching one of them prison shows and they
• 26:08
  Speaker 10: talk to each other through the He was like.
• 26:11
  Speaker 5: I love you girl.
• 26:12
  Speaker 11: Bro.
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: They drain the water and talk at a toilet and.
• 26:17
  Speaker 7: You know, like, I'm thinking you that's hanging up.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: Hanging up.
• 26:23
  Speaker 5: Take that very smart man.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: People come up with when you have no other resources.
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: They be making tattoos. The one girl they were dying
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: their hair with like kool Aid packs.
• 26:33
  Speaker 10: They make up, putting lipstick on a Yes, they created
• 26:36
  Speaker 10: I ain't trying to be a cute.
• 26:37
  Speaker 4: One of my students would make the thought I told
• 26:39
  Speaker 4: you he made realistic spiders right out of like tissue
• 26:43
  Speaker 4: paper and ship like that, and then he would die
• 26:45
  Speaker 4: it with coffee and like he would like tie the
• 26:48
  Speaker 4: legs up to make it look like the different parts
• 26:50
  Speaker 4: of the leg and everything. And I was like, nigga,
• 26:52
  Speaker 4: this should have kept you out of here. You you
• 26:55
  Speaker 4: like you could, like you could make a killing off
• 26:57
  Speaker 4: of this and toilet papers so cheap, like you you
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: literally can sell this on Hollywood and be a thousand.
• 27:03
  Speaker 12: There.
• 27:05
  Speaker 10: You think he's gonna tell a thousand if you saw
• 27:09
  Speaker 10: paper scriptures, No, it wasn't scriptured of spiders like he
• 27:11
  Speaker 10: made realistic spiders, I promise.
• 27:14
  Speaker 5: Just thinking the guards.
• 27:15
  Speaker 4: The guards would having him make having him make them
• 27:17
  Speaker 4: their spiders, and they were like giving them away his
• 27:19
  Speaker 4: gifts because these ships was like this side, they were
• 27:21
  Speaker 4: like lifetime spiders.
• 27:23
  Speaker 5: I was like, nigga, were you just found you have
• 27:25
  Speaker 5: the talent? You spelled one glass of water around that ship?
• 27:28
  Speaker 5: It's ruined. That's true, that's true.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: But that bitch look real though it was.
• 27:33
  Speaker 5: Did he make your any sandwiches in there?
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: That look real? I didn't want they sandwiches? Did you
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: eat the jel food.
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: At the plant? Not when you were working in jail?
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: I mean, did you go to this restaurant or you
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: just heard about it?
• 27:45
  Speaker 7: Oh no, no, no, no, I just I just saw on
• 27:46
  Speaker 7: a g when you worked there? Was that the options though,
• 27:49
  Speaker 7: the same food that they got.
• 27:50
  Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, no, that's that stuff came in
• 27:53
  Speaker 4: like a bag like they like the Peter butter and jelly.
• 27:56
  Speaker 5: It was like packages of Peter butter and jelly.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: They have to just spread all their stuff.
• 27:59
  Speaker 7: Whatd y'all eat?
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: We had hot food.
• 28:00
  Speaker 4: We had a They have a cafeteria for the guards,
• 28:02
  Speaker 4: for the cops and sheriffs and the teachers.
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: Anybody ever approach you and be like, man, I give
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: you you sneak yourself on them.
• 28:09
  Speaker 4: No, but like it was pretty strict, like if they
• 28:12
  Speaker 4: complimented me, I had to report that compliment. Yeah, like yo,
• 28:15
  Speaker 4: them shoes nice, mister Moore. I got to report that
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: because because because that's how it starts.
• 28:30
  Speaker 5: Not reporting that one.
• 28:34
  Speaker 4: Person, Yeah, has a whole bunch of compliments, because basically
• 28:40
  Speaker 4: that's how they try to get on your good side. Oh,
• 28:43
  Speaker 4: you know, playing playing compliments and you know, speaking to
• 28:46
  Speaker 4: you every day and then eventually they you know, try
• 28:49
  Speaker 4: to manipulate your use you for something.
• 28:51
  Speaker 8: So.
• 28:54
  Speaker 5: Bring like.
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: Bring you.
• 29:02
  Speaker 7: I like your shoes, help me escape.
• 29:06
  Speaker 6: You would be surprised, though, Man, my shoes they were
• 29:10
  Speaker 6: charming and toney.
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: Hey those glasses are nice.
• 29:14
  Speaker 5: Break me out of you never complimented me, I would
• 29:18
  Speaker 5: have never done anything.
• 29:20
  Speaker 7: Gas give me a car with full gas and money.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: They take me home with you.
• 29:35
  Speaker 6: In the cell, they would ask, they like, what you're
• 29:38
  Speaker 6: doing this with the bar, like give me a chugeout
• 29:42
  Speaker 6: coming with.
• 29:46
  Speaker 5: It's a nice.
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: Change open.
• 29:50
  Speaker 5: Now, No do it, no doing now, No more compliments,
• 29:57
  Speaker 5: No more compliment.
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: Shoes are nice to get I don't.
• 29:59
  Speaker 6: Even like between a rock and a hard place.
• 30:02
  Speaker 7: Now kind of needed them compliments to get me.
• 30:07
  Speaker 6: It's like the biggest rap sheet dude is the nicest guy.
• 30:10
  Speaker 7: A thousand compliments.
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: It's been a good time. We appreciate you for pulling
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: up and talking crap with us. This is I saws
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: on the Internet. Submit stories for the other guests that
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: I have uh to Internet at Kevin on stage. Today's
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: episode has been Patrick Houston, Lulu Gonzalez, and to hear more.
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: Please follow them on their social medias and we'll see
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: you guys next time.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: Peace,