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The Fear of Becoming Who You Were Meant To Be · Motivation study

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Close your eyes. What can you control?
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: My movements, my thoughts sometimes.
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: What else?
• 0:12
  Speaker 4: My breath.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Can you control me?
• 0:13
  Speaker 5: No.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Can you control who watches this?
• 0:16
  Speaker 6: No.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Can you control how many views it gets?
• 0:18
  Speaker 7: No.
• 0:19
  Speaker 8: All you control in life is what you do. And
• 0:22
  Speaker 8: this is paradoxically how you become successful. So it is
• 0:26
  Speaker 8: the people who focus on the outcome of their actions
• 0:29
  Speaker 8: That gets screwed by it. What would you want to
• 0:33
  Speaker 8: tell your younger self in one of those moments, especially knowing.
• 0:37
  Speaker 9: You've got that around your neck right now?
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: I actually want to tell my younger self a thing
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: because she's going to figure it out herself.
• 0:44
  Speaker 10: Because you can give the person the answer to the
• 0:47
  Speaker 10: question that they're asking you and they will not hear you.
• 0:50
  Speaker 10: They will not hear you. In fact, they will argue
• 0:52
  Speaker 10: against you. But if you get that person out of
• 0:54
  Speaker 10: that emotional state, they can hear that information.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: You already know what things you want to do.
• 1:00
  Speaker 7: Gary, I can't find my passion. Yes, you can. Every
• 1:03
  Speaker 7: one of you can tell me what you love most.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: We all know.
• 1:06
  Speaker 7: I will never believe anyone that says, I don't know.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: No, no, you're scared to admit.
• 1:11
  Speaker 7: You will be far more scared to wake up one
• 1:13
  Speaker 7: day and say, why didn't I go for being a
• 1:15
  Speaker 7: piano star?
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: Whatever it is, be a cook.
• 1:19
  Speaker 7: You will be fearful of that so much more than
• 1:22
  Speaker 7: your sister or your uncle or your best friend laughing
• 1:25
  Speaker 7: at you when you stop doing what you're doing and
• 1:27
  Speaker 7: you go for this thing.
• 1:30
  Speaker 11: If you have an idea that you genuinely think is good,
• 1:36
  Speaker 11: don't let some idiot talk you out of it. If
• 1:39
  Speaker 11: there is something that you feel is good, something you
• 1:43
  Speaker 11: want to do, something that means something to you, try
• 1:48
  Speaker 11: to do it. because I think you can only do
• 1:51
  Speaker 11: your best work if you're doing what you want to do,
• 1:56
  Speaker 11: and if you're doing it the way you think it
• 1:59
  Speaker 11: should be done, and if you can take pride in
• 2:02
  Speaker 11: it after you've done it, no matter what it is.
• 2:05
  Speaker 12: You could spend your whole life imagining ghosts, worrying about
• 2:10
  Speaker 12: the pathway to the future, but all there will ever
• 2:12
  Speaker 12: be is what's happening here, and the decisions we make
• 2:16
  Speaker 12: in this moment which are based in either love or fear.
• 2:20
  Speaker 8: If my self-worth is dependent on my outcomes, then even
• 2:25
  Speaker 8: if I achieve what I want, then oftentimes people don't
• 2:30
  Speaker 8: feel great, even.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: If they live up to their expectations, right? It's like
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: one million, and then I need two, and then I
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: need three, then I need four.
• 2:37
  Speaker 8: If you are relying on accomplishments to determine your self-worth,
• 2:40
  Speaker 8: it will never be enough.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, taking breaks are really important. But for me, it wasn't.
• 2:45
  Speaker 7: Even really a break.
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: It was just shifting and doing something different, which I
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: think is equally as important. And yeah, I mean, to
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: gain new perspective, you need to experience new things. It's
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: really simple, but it's hard to realize that when you're
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: kind of in a cycle.
• 3:03
  Speaker 5: It's a selling job on you. It's possible. I can
• 3:07
  Speaker 5: do this. I can make this happen. No matter how
• 3:09
  Speaker 5: bad it is or how bad it gets, I'm going
• 3:13
  Speaker 5: to make it. Yes, your dream is possible. Say that
• 3:17
  Speaker 5: to yourself every day. Feed your mind with words that
• 3:22
  Speaker 5: you write and words that you hear and words that
• 3:26
  Speaker 5: you speak to yourself. Feed your faith and your doubts
• 3:32
  Speaker 5: will starve to death.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: We think people judge us by a single success or failure,
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: but they don't. If you mess up one meal, no
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: one thinks you're a bad chef. And if you have
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: one great idea, no one thinks you're a genius. People
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: just aren't thinking about you that much.
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  Speaker 13: If you're focusing on what other people think about you,
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  Speaker 13: you won't really live your life how you want to
• 3:56
  Speaker 13: live it. You won't have that sense of independence. You'll
• 3:59
  Speaker 13: be completely dependent on what other people think or what
• 4:01
  Speaker 13: you think other people think about you.
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  Speaker 5: But in reality....
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  Speaker 13: People just don't care. People are more worried about how
• 4:08
  Speaker 13: they appear to you than about how you appear to them.
• 4:11
  Speaker 4: I didn't doubt myself in the way of somebody else
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  Speaker 4: knows better than me for me or that I'm an
• 4:17
  Speaker 4: idiot or I'm not worthwhile or anything like that. I
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: guess I had the benefit of I grew up with
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  Speaker 4: a lot of love. The people around me love me unconditionally.
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  Speaker 4: And so that just gave me a lot of confidence.
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  Speaker 4: Not the kind of confidence that would say I have
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  Speaker 4: the answer, but... the kind of confidence that I will
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  Speaker 4: figure it out and I know what I want or
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: only I am a good arbiter of what I want.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that level of self-belief, I suppose, allows you to
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  Speaker 2: determine what is it that matters to me.
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  Speaker 14: Just be yourself.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: And yeah, you could take inspiration.
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  Speaker 3: That's always important. But at the end of the day,
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: take some time for yourself.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: Spend time alone.
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  Speaker 10: But you're looking at yourself... kind of through the eyes
• 5:02
  Speaker 10: of someone else because you don't feel like you in
• 5:03
  Speaker 10: that moment. You're so uncomfortable that you can see yourself.
• 5:06
  Speaker 10: That concept is called metacognition, right? So a lot of
• 5:10
  Speaker 10: times people wait for that crisis or the diagnosis or
• 5:13
  Speaker 10: the betrayal to go, oh my God, I got to
• 5:16
  Speaker 10: really change because I'm really unhappy or I can't blame
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  Speaker 10: that person or my past or my circumstance because nothing's
• 5:24
  Speaker 10: working here. I got to really start making those changes.
• 5:27
  Speaker 10: So when they see themselves changing, separate from their program,
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  Speaker 10: they're becoming conscious of their unconscious.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: Self, that is the first step to change.
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  Speaker 10: Now, I say you can learn and change in a
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  Speaker 10: state of pain and suffering, which most people like to do,
• 5:42
  Speaker 10: or you can learn and change in a state of
• 5:44
  Speaker 10: joy and inspiration, right? So could you be defined by
• 5:47
  Speaker 10: a vision of the future? And could you get up
• 5:51
  Speaker 10: from your morning practice, actually believing in your future more
• 5:57
  Speaker 10: than you're believing in your past? So from that elevated
• 6:02
  Speaker 10: state where you combine a clear intention with an elevated emotion,
• 6:05
  Speaker 10: from an elevated state instead of a self-limiting state, you
• 6:08
  Speaker 10: can be conscious of that old self as well.
• 6:13
  Speaker 15: And then I suddenly felt like I was looking at
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  Speaker 15: these thoughts from another perspective. And I wondered, who is
• 6:20
  Speaker 15: it that's aware that I'm thinking? And suddenly I was
• 6:25
  Speaker 15: thrown into this expansive world amazing feeling of freedom from myself,
• 6:33
  Speaker 15: from my problems. I saw that I was bigger than
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  Speaker 15: what I do. I was bigger than my body. I
• 6:41
  Speaker 15: was everything and everyone. I was no longer a fragment
• 6:48
  Speaker 15: of the universe. I was the universe.
• 6:55
  Speaker 7: Until you love yourself, and really have self-acceptance along with self-awareness,
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  Speaker 7: until that happens, you will not have nice days. You
• 7:05
  Speaker 7: will have anxiety, you will have down days, you will struggle.
• 7:10
  Speaker 7: Here's what's so up and amazing about this. You get
• 7:14
  Speaker 7: to decide.
• 7:16
  Speaker 16: Treat yourself like you're someone that you care about.
• 7:21
  Speaker 17: If I spoke to my friends like I used to
• 7:24
  Speaker 17: speak to myself, I would have no friends. So what
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  Speaker 17: I started to pay attention to was how I spoke
• 7:33
  Speaker 17: to myself out loud and in my head.
• 7:36
  Speaker 15: And then I suddenly felt like I was looking at
• 7:40
  Speaker 15: these thoughts from another perspective. And I wondered, who is
• 7:44
  Speaker 15: it that's aware that I'm thinking? And suddenly I was
• 7:50
  Speaker 15: thrown into this expansive, amazing feeling of freedom from myself
• 7:58
  Speaker 15: From my problems, I saw that I was bigger than
• 8:04
  Speaker 15: what I do. I was bigger than my body. I
• 8:07
  Speaker 15: was everything and everyone.
• 8:10
  Speaker 18: Have you ever done anything mean to yourself? Well, it's
• 8:14
  Speaker 18: very important to look inside yourself and find that loving
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  Speaker 18: part of you. That's the part that you must take
• 8:24
  Speaker 18: good care of and never be mean to.
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  Speaker 16: Despite the fact that you're not all that you could be,
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  Speaker 16: the proper attitude to have towards yourself is the attitude
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  Speaker 16: that you would have towards someone that you genuinely cared for.
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  Speaker 16: And that it's incumbent on you to act as if
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  Speaker 16: you genuinely care for yourself. You make the world a
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  Speaker 16: much worse place if you don't take care of yourself.
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  Speaker 16: So you should bloody well take care of yourself.
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  Speaker 9: When I start off my day by investing in myself,
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  Speaker 9: I set the tone for the rest of my life
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  Speaker 9: and everything else falls into place because I've set a
• 8:57
  Speaker 9: precedent that I'm important, that I'm worth it, that I matter.
• 9:03
  Speaker 15: It's our intention.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: Our intention is everything.
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  Speaker 15: Nothing happens on this planet without it. Not one single
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  Speaker 15: thing has ever been accomplished without intention.
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  Speaker 6: So I need you to be comfortable in your own skin.
• 9:17
  Speaker 6: I need you to be comfortable being you. And I
• 9:19
  Speaker 6: mean the authentic you because you keep trying to shame
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  Speaker 6: yourself into being better. You keep trying to shame yourself
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  Speaker 6: thinking that's going to ignite your flame of change. It
• 9:30
  Speaker 6: just doesn't work like that. That's not the solution. So
• 9:32
  Speaker 6: you've got to love yourself into evolution. You'll be amazed
• 9:37
  Speaker 6: at what the universe conspires to make happen for you.
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  Speaker 15: Thought is responsible for, if not all, most of the
• 9:49
  Speaker 15: suffering we experience.
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  Speaker 18: You know, it's like in life, you've got to have
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  Speaker 18: a little sadness once in a while, see? You know
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  Speaker 18: when the good times come.
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  Speaker 5: I'm waiting on the good times now.
• 10:00
  Speaker 7: Until you love yourself nothing will.
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  Speaker 19: Happen because that's the part of you that allows you
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  Speaker 19: to love your neighbor respecting and loving your neighbor can
• 10:13
  Speaker 19: give everybody a good feeling.
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  Speaker 20: So you've got to love yourself more right now. Starting today,
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  Speaker 20: make the commitment to loving yourself more. Make the commitment
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  Speaker 20: to believing in yourself more. Make the commitment to showing
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  Speaker 20: up for yourself more.
• 10:37
  Speaker 9: A lot of people look at investing in yourself as
• 10:39
  Speaker 9: taking care of yourself as selfish. I actually think it's
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  Speaker 9: the most selfless act you can engage in. Because if
• 10:46
  Speaker 9: you're no good to yourself, you can't be good for
• 10:49
  Speaker 9: anybody else. And so by working on yourself, by improving yourself,
• 10:56
  Speaker 9: by valuing yourself, you literally make every single person in
• 11:01
  Speaker 9: your orbit, in your circle, better. Imagine the global totality
• 11:06
  Speaker 9: if every single person in this world focused on their
• 11:10
  Speaker 9: health and their happiness today. how much better the world
• 11:14
  Speaker 9: would be in just 30 days. If people could just
• 11:17
  Speaker 9: put themselves first for 30 days, and like I said,
• 11:20
  Speaker 9: focus on their health and their happiness, in 30 days,
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  Speaker 9: we'd see a remarkable change on this planet.
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  Speaker 14: If you do talk to yourself out loud, and I do,
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  Speaker 14: make sure that the words are loving and supportive and nourishing.
• 11:32
  Speaker 14: Start the work of being your own best friend.
• 11:36
  Speaker 16: That's the thing about being an individual. It's the thing
• 11:38
  Speaker 16: that Western civilization has always recognized, that as an individual...
• 11:42
  Speaker 16: You have a light that you have to bring into
• 11:45
  Speaker 16: the world. And that if you don't bring it into
• 11:46
  Speaker 16: the world, the world is a dimmer place. And that's
• 11:49
  Speaker 16: a bad thing because when the world is a dim place,
• 11:51
  Speaker 16: it can get very, very, very dark. And so it's necessary,
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  Speaker 16: not just so that you feel better, not just so
• 11:57
  Speaker 16: that you're a number one lobster, none of those things.
• 12:00
  Speaker 16: You need to take care of yourself because you're in
• 12:01
  Speaker 16: the best position to do that. And it's necessary for
• 12:04
  Speaker 16: you to take care of yourself. Despite the fact that
• 12:07
  Speaker 16: we're mortal and vulnerable and self-conscious and capable, you're still...
• 12:12
  Speaker 16: You still have that responsibility.
• 12:14
  Speaker 6: Love yourself in the evolution. Feel good about you. Know
• 12:19
  Speaker 6: that you are here for a reason. Know that you
• 12:21
  Speaker 6: are here for a purpose. Know that you are great.
• 12:24
  Speaker 6: Know that you are amazing. Know that you are one
• 12:27
  Speaker 6: of one. Know that your flaws are just part of
• 12:30
  Speaker 6: what makes you incredibly you. You're imperfectly perfect, just like
• 12:35
  Speaker 6: everybody else. And that's a beautiful thing. You are an
• 12:39
  Speaker 6: unbreakable spirit. Your worth is astronomical. Don't try to shame
• 12:44
  Speaker 6: yourself into being who they think you should be. I
• 12:47
  Speaker 6: need you to love yourself into being who you want
• 12:49
  Speaker 6: to be and never let another person's approval be your
• 12:53
  Speaker 6: key to happiness.
• 12:55
  Speaker 20: But there are times when it is okay to be selfish.
• 13:00
  Speaker 20: It is okay for you to start doing for yourself
• 13:04
  Speaker 20: what you have been doing for others. It's okay to
• 13:08
  Speaker 20: invest in yourself the same way that you have invested
• 13:12
  Speaker 20: in others.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: There will always be.
• 13:15
  Speaker 20: Someone who needs you for something. But it's important for
• 13:20
  Speaker 20: you to recognize that you also need you.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: We have to start deploying self-awareness.
• 13:26
  Speaker 21: If you leave here and start your process of really
• 13:30
  Speaker 21: knowing what makes you happy, of who are you really,
• 13:33
  Speaker 21: if you could stop chipping away the voices from the outside,
• 13:37
  Speaker 21: if you could start figuring out what you're scared of,
• 13:40
  Speaker 21: if you want to actually do something, even in the
• 13:42
  Speaker 21: light of the picture that I'm painting right now, who
• 13:45
  Speaker 21: are you scared to fail in front of? The reason
• 13:48
  Speaker 21: so many of you are not doing what you want
• 13:50
  Speaker 21: to do is you're scared to fail in something. you
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  Speaker 21: need to eliminate that and or own that fear and
• 13:57
  Speaker 21: put yourself in a position to succeed. Because with all
• 14:00
  Speaker 21: of this, with all of this, we are now in
• 14:04
  Speaker 21: the greatest era.