Latest / Red Onion Randy - Life in a Supermax Prison / ROR 176: Cellie Adventures - Part 2

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ROR 176: Cellie Adventures - Part 2 · Red Onion Randy - Life in a Supermax Prison

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Hello, this is a prebate call from and if the
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: present Department of Correction read an in state prison to
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: accept this call crass zero.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: This is Randall bob Aka read on you, Randy. I'm
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: currently serving one thousand, two hundred and fourteen years for
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: capital murder and arm robbery now and finally at a
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: level three fucking Air Correctional Center sowa's throw from where
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: I grew up. If you have any questions or comments
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: and want to leave a message or whatever, I've got
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: a voicemail line. That number is one eight eight eight
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: five zuit four one nine three suit. You can also
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: visit my website which is new and improved and got
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: different features and whatnot at deput de dot red on
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: your Randy dot com. I hope you do. Let's get
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: started with the podcast. All right, this is part two
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: of uh the Selly Adventures. I guess I don't know
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: what the hell to call it. Uh So I left
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: off with old boy uh not flushing the toilet. That's
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: not even the worst thing, Like sadly, it's it's just
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: it's just not even the worst thing. This guy. Four
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: days later, it's early in the morning. Sometimes they call
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: us for outside wreck before breakfast, which is what I
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: prefer because very few people are on the wreckyard, especially
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: to wait Paul me. Thanks to thanks to my friends,
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: you know, thanks to y'all who listen to the podcast,
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: and I'm making a little bit of money, I can
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: afford to buy oatmeal and peanut butter every day. So
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: that's what I eat for my breakfast. One. It's better
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: for my heart, it helps my LDL cholesterol, and it's
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: just good fiber. And I just I like oatmeal and
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: peanut butter, like it's just really good. So that's what
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: I normally do. But this morning, they didn't call rec
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: before breakfast. They called breakfast before wreck. So I come
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: over here to the backside of the pod where I'm
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: actually on the phone right now recording, and I get
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: my video visits and whatnot, and I do my stretching
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: routine and I'm stretching out my neck, my back, I'm
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: doing bridge holes, I'm doing seeded twist holes and you know,
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: four handstring stretches and blah blah blah, take my time,
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: do a pretty good job. And about maybe twenty minutes later,
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: I decided to go back in the cell to get something,
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: so as I walk in again, I smell and it
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: smells like piss this time. I can't wait a minute.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: I'm kind of thinking the dude might have pissed on
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: my bed, to be honest with you, because I've I've
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: been kind of giving him held a little bit about
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: cleaning up, like, come on, dude, me, it's clean, bro
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: like just clean. Like the other day, for example, I
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: come back in and he's got where he's busted up
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: his soups, you know, to make his little meal or whatnot. Something.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: If you slam it too hard, then damn bags will
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: rip and like small pieces of soup will get all
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: over the floor. So I come back in, I turned
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: the light on and whatnot because the cell was pitched black,
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: and I need to unlock my locker so I can
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: uh put my watch in my locker and lock it
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: back up and everything before grabbing my shower stuff and
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: hitting the water and washing my which is another thing
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: he doesn't really do. He does shower, but he likes
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: to go outside sometimes, walk around the track, get sweaty,
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: and then come back in and just immediately lay down
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: on his damn blankets. Oh good god, Olfe. The frustration
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: is just just thinking about it. It's just and heating
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: away at me. Have mercy on me, Lord, So I'm
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: kind of thinking his dad. So again I hit the spray.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: Just all right, you know what, I'll just I'll clean
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: up when I get when I get back in from America.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: You know, because I'm starting to walk out the door,
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: I noticed something on the floor between the toilet and
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: the door, and I'm looking at it. I'm like, man,
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: that cannot be what I think it is. Because the
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: cell doors open, so there's enough light coming in from
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: the pod that I can kind of see a little bit.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: I turned the light on. They's sure enough. Somehow, while
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: I was stretching, this dude took us somehow managed to
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: get a piece of feces the size of my pinky
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: on the floor between the toilet and the door. I
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: stepped out. I stepped out the cell and he's he's
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: all the way at the back of the pod looking
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: out the windows. Chris. Oh yeah, his name is Chris two.
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: By the way, So you got two crises in the
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: same damn cell together. Something Chris. He looks up and
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: a say what And I'll put both fangers up, like my, my, my,
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: damn index finger and my finger, and I mean I
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: crook him to me, like get your ass here, bro,
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: you know, like it's so he comes walking to me
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: and he gets to the door and I'll point down
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: at the flush, man, what the is that? So he
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: actually kind of bends over and looks at it. Saw hell, man,
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: that what's supposed to happen? I almost lost my shoe
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: on that.
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: Boy.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: No, that wasn't supposed to happen. Brouh, Like, how the
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: hell are you sitting on a toilet and gish on
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: the floor? What the are you in there? Are you
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: sticking your finger and your ass? Boy? Like, what the
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: is going on in here? So he takes toilet paper
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: and he picks it up those in the toilet, flushes it,
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: and then just walks out. He doesn't shampoo, he doesn't
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: go get a mob, does the spray it with chemicals.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: He does nothing. I'm not even an alcoholic, has never
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: been an alcoholic. And I'm pretty sure in that moment,
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: I was praying that damn alcoholic, give me serenity, Give
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: me serenity. M So I skip my workout, I don't
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: go outside that morning. He does, which is probably for
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: the best because he needed to get away from me.
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: So I go in. I pick everything up off the floor.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: I come to the back. I get a shower brush,
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: mop bucket. I fill the mop bucket up with hot
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: water with a cup. It's at my sink and I
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: just filled the cup up and the sink poured into
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: the mop bucket. I do that over and over again, soil.
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: I fill the mop bucket up about halfway. This is
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: a big, like in industrial size mobbucket. This is some
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: little home mob bucket. Take the shower brush, throw water
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: all over the floor. Take my damn D five shampoo,
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: and I'll then take the shower brush and just I
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: mean scrub that damn floor until the concrete almost turns white.
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: Take a fresh mop head, mop it up, branch it out,
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: mop it up again. Plane it clean the toilet, clean
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: the sink. I mean, I all right, you know what,
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: Just let me hang on, Let me hang on. I
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: can do this. Come get on the phone, my editor, Michael.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: You know, I talk to him. He kind of he's laughing,
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: but you know he's you know, kind of telling me, like, dude,
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: don't lose your sh bro Like it's not worth it. Man.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: He got too much going for you breathe or just breathe.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: You know, all the stuff you've been talking about for
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: the last however many years you've been doing your podcast,
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: like maybe practice some of that stuff that came. I
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: think you need it more than anybody else does. And
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: you know, stuff along those lines. And uh, I'm all right,
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: So I just I claim I chill a play video game.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: I listened to. Uh, I listened to some music. I
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: listened to a lot of songs. I've got the Book
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: of Songs from the Bible on my player, an audio
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: version of it, and I listened to quite a few
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: of them. And uh, I skip lunch. You know they
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: call outside wreck before lunch when they let us out
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: for account And I decide, you know what, I'm gonna
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: go on out. So I go out, I work out,
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: get a good one in, Like I mean, I really
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: really really pushed myself come back in off the wreck yard,
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: walking into the cell and like I said, you know,
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: just because of how hot it's been lately, we got
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: our cell blacked out. Keep it nice and cool in there.
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: And uh, as I'm walking in, I hear stuff crunching
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: under my feet. So I flipped the damn light on
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: over the sink on. This dude has barbecue corn chips
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: all over my damn freshly scrubbed floor. I look at him,
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: he said, Man, what's the dude, It's all I didn't
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: know I dropped any all right. He goes back to
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: watching TV. He said, man, get this stuff.
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: Off the floor.
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: He's all right. So he gets up and he walks
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: to the door and he looks out in the pod.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: The brew in the dust pan are ten feet away.
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: He just shakes his head because apparently that's too far
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: for him to walk. He goes back. He grabs a
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: laundry bag and starts trying to sweep up the damn
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: corn chips that out of walked on and crushed. And
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: he kind of like tries to sweep him into a
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: pile and like pushed the laundry bag and like lift
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: him up and kind of like shake it out over
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: top of the trash can, getting it everywhere again. I mean,
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: I guess some of it went in the trash can.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: I was like, Brook, you know they make him room
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: and dust pan for this very reason, like that's why
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: the state gives it to us. And shoved that room
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: and dust pan up there pussy again. I want to.
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: Punch this guy.
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: I just look at him. I just shake my head,
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: walk out. I get the room in the dust pan.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: I go in. I sweep it up between the floor.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: Second time that day, grab my shower stuff. I go
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: in the shower, and I take the coldest shower that
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: I can possibly take, because if I don't cool off. Yeah,
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: a few days after this, he's still doing a little
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: dumb stuff like that. He thinks it's okay to drop
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: stuff on the floor and just leave it there. Like,
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: I'm not okay with living with bugs in the cell
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: with me. I don't want answering myself. I don't want
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: cockroaches in myself. I don't live with bugs except the
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: human kind. I reckon. So this guy doesn't have a
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: coed skateboard. I have an extra one, so I let
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: him use my co ed cable so he can watch TV.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: He doesn't have a battery charger for his tablet. I do,
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: so I let him use my battery charger so he
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: can charge his tablet up. It's like five o'clock in
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: the morning. I'm off, I'm sitting on my bed and
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: I'm praying. I've got my eyes closed next thing I
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: know out here, I open my eyes and I look
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: into my damn fan is hanging off the edge of
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: the stand because you got bottom bunk, and you got
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: a TV stand in between the bottom bunk and the
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: top bunk. He got the top bunk, of course, and
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: then it's about two foot above that. You got a
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: TV stand maybe a foot and a half. And I've
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: got my TV at the very back, and I've got
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: my fans sitting right there on the front of that shelf.
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: You know, it sticks out a fair enough way that
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: I can do that, So I've got the fan blowing
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: directly on me when I sleep. It just makes it
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: more comfortable for me. I grabbed my fan before it
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: can fall all the way to the floor and bust.
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: And let me tell you something, if he would have
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: yanked my fan off and broke it, I'd be recording
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: this episode from Red on you right now. And that's
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: just all there is to it. I asked you, what
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: the hell are you doing? He said, Oh, sorry, brouh.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: I was trying to get the damn uh. I was
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: trying to get the charge of cord. That's my bag.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: What's the You cannot tell the difference between the really
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: really thin, thin ass charge a cord and to really
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: really sick ass fan in court. I just what can
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: I do? I go back to praying. I finished my prayers.
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: I just I don't. I don't know what else to do. Yeah,
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: it's just they And that's not even all the incidents.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: Is like, if I told you all the incidents, this
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: would be a three part episode, and I honestly I
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: just don't thank y'all want to listen to three parts
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: of this. Just I don't even want to speak about
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: this for three So I'm tired of it. I let
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: him be known, like, Bro, this ain't working for me, man,
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: like something's got change. And uh So I go and
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: I try to get a move out to self. I can't.
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: I cannot get this guy moved. They will not do
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: it for me. So I go to somebody in here
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: who's actually got more cachet with these people. He's been
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: here for years, he's an inmate, he's highly respected. I
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: explained my situation to him. So I'm trying to do
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: this legit, like I mean, I can make and check in.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: That's not a problem. All I got to do is
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: simply put my hands on. However, for me to do that,
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: I've risked losing everything I've worked so hard for. So
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: I go to this guy and he's like, all right,
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: I got you. So he goes, he talks to the
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: people and they come back and he tells me, look,
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: because you're Selly has a bottom bunk status, you have
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: to find somebody that also has a bottom bunk status
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: so that they can trade cells and gets you the
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: new guy. I'm like, all right. I try reaching my dude, Jersey,
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: but he was on lock and I couldn't reach him.
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: So I just tell this dude like, bro, look you've
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: got somebody here. You've got a guy here. Man, it's
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: on the same page as me. He's like, yeah, absolutely,
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: So I got my unk upstairs, he said, Man, I'll
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: get him to come down. He's bottom bump. I'm like,
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: I make it happen. So he goes talks to you know,
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: the sergeant, and she's like, all right, I'm gonna take
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: care of this. Just got to wait for Booker and
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: him to come back. So the weekend rolls by, Booker
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: and them come, Lieutenant Chambers and them come. She goes
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: up and she talks to him and at first, the
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: Booker's like, no, VOD just wants his single cell back, Well,
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: damn right, and I want my single cell back, right,
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: that's that's a given. However, I'm not asking you to
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: move this guy and not move nobody in like we've
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: already went and found somebody to come down and swap selves. Like,
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: so I'm gonna have a single cell for five minutes, Like, bro,
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to go through all of this trouble,
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: all of this hassle for five minutes alone. I'll just
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: simply tell the selly, look, dude, I got to take her.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: She'll meet my dick, like, get to up out of
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: the house hanging the cut up, and I can stay
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: in there for an hour or two, like I've got
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: time to myself, Like it's not complicated.
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: So she comes down and she explains this to my
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: guy and me, and we explain the situation back to her,
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: which is what I just told y'all. She's like, all right,
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: hold up. She goes back up and she talks to
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: Booker and she gets to argue with Booker, so Booker
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: finally agrees. So if they go, they come, tell Macelli
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: to pack your stuff up. They go upstairs and they
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: tell this guy to pack his stuff up and they're
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: going to do it after launch today, and uh so
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: my Sally packs stuff up. He's not exactly too happy
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: about it, but I might just like you gotta go,
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: Like I'm sorry, fans just gotta go. Fuck. I'm like, look, man,
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: keep the coax cable. I'm gonna let you have the
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: coax cable. That's not a problem. I've got an extra on.
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: It's not a big deal. I said, Look, I'm not
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: giving you my extra fan. I will allow you to
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: take this man with you and use it until you
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: can buy a fan of your own. But I want
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: my fan back. He's like, all right, thank you. I
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: appreciate that. Asley It's it's not a problem. Like and
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: the thing is, like as far as his personality goes,
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: like when you get to talking to him and stuff,
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: he's not a bad guy. Like he's all right, but
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: he's definitely weird, you know, but like you can actually
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: conversate with him, Like he's kind of funny sometimes he's
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: you know, he's generous, Like you know, if I went
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: in there, I'm like, you know, hey, Brook, can I
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: get a soda? Like he would actually just give it
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: to me, like, you know, so he has good qualities.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: Like I'm not trying to tear the guy down and
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: say he's the worst human being in the world, because
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: he's not. He's just dirty and he's kind of clueless
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: about what goes on. Like this cat really does not
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: know how to do prison time. But he really does
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: not know how to do prison time. And he's already
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: been Like right before he came here, some gang members
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: at Green Rock jumped on him and split the back
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: of his head wide open, like the dude had thirty
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: some staples in his head, you know, and they robbed
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: him and stole a bunch of his stuff and all that,
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: you know, thankfully he got he got some of it back,
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: not all of it. I help him out with what
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: I can. Well, you know what extra I have. I
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: don't like heat, he said, all right, God, but you
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: just you know, you just too freaking filthy and dirty
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: and clueless for me.
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: So like he's gone, all right, that's that's all the
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: time we have for now. I appreciate you listening to
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: me more than you'll uh you'll probably ever know. I
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: just want to let you know, you know, don't forget
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: to check out my website right on your Randy dot com.
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: And for those of you who want to hear more,
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