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Unsigned518 - Episode 211 - JJ's Okay · Unsigned518

• 0:01
  Speaker A: He was born on a Saturday in 73 he loves punk rock music fighting the 13 cabin in the dazzle Jazz on the beat Guitar with the short with radio back his motherfucking envy Scrolling look at motherfucker cuz here he comes
• 0:22
  Speaker B: Andy Scrolling wearing his orange hats welcome to Unsigned518. I'm here with Julianna Joy, aka JJSOK.
• 0:33
  Speaker C: How's it going?
• 0:35
  Speaker B: Now, we just met a couple minutes ago and I've been familiar with the name certainly for a while. Like my work through Metroland. I feel like I know kind of what's going on in the local music scene. But we just met and you've brought your guitar, or actually it looks like multiple instruments and we're going to hear some live music, which I'm super excited for because I haven't had a live performance in a little bit. But before we get to that, I think, you know, I told you this is not an interview. It's just a conversation. So really, what's on your mind?
• 1:16
  Speaker C: I don't know if you want to put this to the episode, but just, you know, we. We did mention something about the life of our current country's leader ending and that would just really put a pep in my step.
• 1:30
  Speaker B: I'd be. I'd be. I'd be just fine with that. So I. That's what's on your.
• 1:34
  Speaker C: Not to get political, but somebody should kill the president.
• 1:38
  Speaker B: It's not even political at this point, but everything outside of assassination. Speed. Oh, right.
• 1:46
  Speaker C: Music. Music.
• 1:50
  Speaker B: Yeah. So how did. How did you went.
• 1:53
  Speaker C: Or.
• 1:53
  Speaker B: I guess I will ask a qu. You know, I was like, it's not an interview, but I guess I will ask a question. When did you realize that music was your thing?
• 2:01
  Speaker C: Thing? Well, music has been a pretty constant presence in my life since childhood as my parents were both into music. My mom was a vocal major, my dad was a drummer in high school. And we always had this music room and they forced us to have piano lessons, which was, you know, not. Not a bad thing. But it's. It's interesting that you mentioned, like what? Knowing. Realizing that it was my thing because for a long time it wasn't my thing. It was just one of the things. And it still is, to be honest. I have a really broad range of artistic talents, ways that I engage with art, and I've continued to expand it. This year is the first year that I got into doing poetry. When I say this year. I'm sorry, last year, 2025, I really got into making poetry and spoken word and rap. Music, which is not really like out there yet, but is a future project and physical art as well, is kind of a brand new thing that's a little bit scary. But like I'm in that place now where doing things that are a little bit scary are really. It's just. I love the sense of growth from
• 3:30
  Speaker B: it, having all those creative outlets. Do you feel like it. Do you feel like it's nice and evenly spread across everything? Or do you find yourself, you know, focusing on music like this month and then doing poetry that month, or, you know, or is it just kind of like it's all there all the time? I guess, yeah.
• 3:54
  Speaker C: I think there's a lot of factors and I'm not sure always like why I'm drawn to one particular form or even like the style of what I'm doing. It's just. It ends up that I'll. I'll start getting into a flow with something and then I keep returning to it until something else kind of interrupts it or catches my attention. So as someone with pretty severe adhd, um, it's. It's very much just like I am. I put in work now to try to keep some sort of consistency, but a lot of it is just that different forms of art pull me in and it's like I almost feel like I don't have a choice. It's just, okay, this is what I'm doing now. Yeah.
• 4:41
  Speaker B: Have you ever thought of like doing like a multimedia project? You know, like something that involved art and poetry and music and visual something, but was all one. But you're nodding your head so like.
• 4:53
  Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. There's something on the horizon I looking forward to that hasn't. Isn't set in stone. And I'm a little afraid about mentioning it because now it's like, oh, that's real. But I'd like to do it. The poetry that I've been writing, I'm considering putting together a sort of live exhibition in which there's. You can come and see the. The poetry at any time, maybe for like a week, but then on a specific day and time I'll be there playing live music. And you can take one of the pieces that I'll have hung up and bring it to me and I'll read it while I'm playing music. So that's one example.
• 5:40
  Speaker B: That's cool.
• 5:41
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 5:42
  Speaker B: Yeah. And I like, you know, and I'm someone that like a drawing, like a physical medium, I'm like, I'm awful at it. Like, I can't. I can't express, like, what I'm thinking and put it onto paper. But, like, poetry has always been a. A thing of mine. Like, even when I was in, like, middle school and. And it wasn't cool to, like, write poems. I was like, I don't know. I think it's pretty cool. But, like, I love the idea of that. You, you know, you said you have all these talents that are kind of. Not one of them is your thing. You know, they're all your thing. And that's. I don't know, it's just interesting to me. So, like, as far as music that. That you're creating, like, original music, when did you start writing original music?
• 6:29
  Speaker C: Things really started to take off after I moved to the capital region about three years ago. And it was always something that, like, was aspirational. Not that I had any, like, big dreams of becoming a rock star, but that I had always, like, since taking guitar lessons as a kid and, you know, listening to Taylor Swift and just, like, loving the whole songwriting thing, I tried, and I was really hard on myself. And I would typically make something that was probably great, like, for what I was doing at the time. And then I. Then I would hate it, and I would just never finish it. And I went through a lot of phases of that, of trying having, you know, half of something and then never finishing it. And then, yeah, something. Something changed as different parts of my life started to shift. I put that. Changing that shifting energy into the music, and it sort of fueled this feedback loop. Once I started going to open mics and people were listening and applauding, and it helped heal a lot of that, like, sense of imposter syndrome.
• 7:47
  Speaker B: And do you think, like, being that hard on yourself, like, if you're looking back, like, in. In retrospect, do you think that helped shape, you know, your craft? Because I think, you know, if you maybe were like, oh, this is great. It doesn't need any improvement, you know, you wouldn't have opened the songs that you have, I guess, like, it's like
• 8:11
  Speaker C: a catch 22 or. What's one of those? There's another phrase where it's like. Yeah, I think. I think it goes both ways where I. I personally think that there's more opportunity for growth with less self criticism, and that growth is what makes art valuable. Even if from a critical perspective, you don't think it hits all the right notes. That's my personal perspective. I do think that my level of, like, obsessiveness, which is part of my self critical, like, part of my self criticalness it's made it so that people have a lot to dig into, and it's made me stand out because I like standing out and like the stuff I do. I spend a lot of time making my own music more than I, at this point, listen to other people's music. So it ends up being kind of a. Just a unique expression of myself. A lot of times people are like, I'm not. I'm not quite sure you have a unique sound, you know, And.
• 9:26
  Speaker B: And I mean, I like what you said, how, like, the adaptability and the growth is, like, part of it. But, like, myself, like, I'm someone that, like, if someone tells me that I can't do something, I'm more apt to. And even if that person telling me something sucks is myself, like, I still want to prove myself, you know? So if I'm like, that's not good, man. I'll be. I'll show you, you know, Then I'll, like, write something until, like, I. I like it. If that makes sense. I don't know.
• 9:55
  Speaker C: I think I'm more evil. I think I. I'll. I'll hear someone's music that I don't like, who's, like, more confident than me, and that fuels me. I'll be like, wait, they're worse than me, but they think they're better. I really need to be less hard on myself.
• 10:10
  Speaker B: You know, everything. Everything helps to serve something. But you're right, like. Cause confidence is a necessary thing.
• 10:17
  Speaker C: Thing.
• 10:17
  Speaker B: And I've always said to people who are, like, afraid to show their confidence, like, you know, you're up there doing it, and there's people that have paid to be here to watch you do it, which means you should have confidence. Like. Yeah, like, you should be confident. Like, it's not cocky or unwarranted. Like, you have, you know, like, you almost have to have it, you know, because nobody wants to see somebody on stage that doesn't believe in themselves.
• 10:42
  Speaker C: Yeah. I think I've very often, like, been able to embody a sense of confidence, but it's not always the case. And I mean, like, some of my. You know what? Scrap. I don't. Yeah, whatever. What's your next question?
• 10:57
  Speaker B: I don't really have a next question, but we are kind of at that point where I think we should hear a song. Okay. And I see you've brought multiple instruments, so which one do you want to play first?
• 11:08
  Speaker C: I think I will go for what's new, which is my banjo, which I just bought recently, and it's still very Fresh for me. I'm fully self taught and I have an original tune called Percy's Real, which it's. It's instrumental. I'm not sure how much. How much more to say about it. Yeah. Well, cool.
• 11:34
  Speaker B: Well, let's check out Percy's real Juliana Joy, aka JJ's. Okay. And we'll be right back. Foreign. That was Percy's real Juliana Joy, aka JJ's. Okay. And you know, that song that we just heard, you know, obviously didn't. Didn't have any words, so I guess asking you what it was about may not make as much sense, but we were talking that you're gonna play another song coming up that, that has very, very clear themes and messages and I guess tell us a little bit about the. The theme.
• 14:23
  Speaker C: It's. It's funny because I'm like, I'm not sure if it's clear, but it's. There's something to dig into. Absolutely. It's called through and Through. And I. I had this like moment of epiphany sort of in this fugue state. Like I think I had caught a bug of some kind. Like I was having a fever and I didn't realize it. And a lot of times when something crazy is going on and I don't understand it, I sit down with my guitar and the song I say when I play on stage, I preamble it that it's about gender envy, which a lot of it is. It's about an experience that I had of feeling what I thought at the time was just like this desperate attraction towards someone, which I guess is. That's a fair way to phrase it. And this was before I realized that I was trans. And once I did some of it, around the time that I realized that I was trans, part of that realization was coming to understand that before then I didn't really have any distinction between lust and envy. Desire was just this like sort of cloud of feelings that were overwhelming. And when I learned that some of that desire was actually me wanting to step into an identity of the person that I was sort of like craving this attachment to, it changed a lot for me. And there's been a. I think it's been a big part of what I've been going through over the last year or so since realizing is how to engage with that desire in a way that's true to me. And the song is basically kind of like still having feelings for this person, but recognizing that I. I want to go through with me separating envy from desire and learning to love in a New way.
• 16:48
  Speaker B: And now, you know, the way you write songs, is that something that. Are you someone that always puts forth that very personal experience? Or do you sometimes pull from, like, a fantasy place? Or do you. Do you. Do you ever mix the two? Like, because I. I always like to find out again, the songwriting, because sometimes you're like, well, there's. That's clearly what this song is about. And then sometimes people write lyrics where you're like, I don't. I don't know what it's about.
• 17:18
  Speaker C: You know, like, it's definitely morphed a bit. I think everything that I've created has come from some element of my personal story. And I usually put that at the forefront and kind of as like a badge of honor, you know, this is. This is me being vulnerable. And then there, sometimes we'll enter, like, metaphors and imagery that ties in.
• 17:49
  Speaker B: Yeah, so it's like a little bit of both.
• 17:53
  Speaker C: Yeah, yeah.
• 17:53
  Speaker B: And I mean, metaphors are like, as a. You know, writing poetry or songs or whatever are fun to use because even as the person that writes them, I can sometimes keep the ambiguity depending on what I feel like giving of myself. You know, someone could be like, what does that mean? And I could tell one person, oh, it means this. And then someone that I maybe trust a little more, I can be like, well, actually, it means this. You know, do you do that as well? Like, kind of hide. Hide levels of ambiguity in your.
• 18:28
  Speaker C: Yeah, there's a lot. I feel like just the way I write it feel. It's always felt like I have something I want to say, but I also want to say it in a way that lets you see yourself in it, whoever you are. And when it comes to, like, hiding meaning, I think I end up like, even. I have many songs where the meaning of the line depends on if you consider the line on its own or with the following line. And I really love doing stuff like that, where it's like. It makes. It catches your ear, like your brain is like, oh, wait, I heard them say this thing. And then they finished that sentence, and now it means something else. I love that stuff.
• 19:13
  Speaker B: Yeah, that's great. But so I want to hear another song. And we heard a banjo song, and then that's a guitar, if I'm not mistaken.
• 19:21
  Speaker C: That is indeed. And I did a little something special with it. When I wrote the song, I was heavily inspired by a song with a mute in the guitar, and so I made a mute for myself with some felt. So it's going to have a bit of a different Tone than you're used to.
• 19:39
  Speaker B: Cool. And what was the name of the song?
• 19:40
  Speaker C: Through and through.
• 19:41
  Speaker B: Through and through. All right, well, let's check out through and through and then we'll be right back to wrap it up.
• 19:46
  Speaker D: These gentle hands are worried that it's all just a disguise. And jagged claws are buried underneath my dear spoiled eyes. I talk so sweet but she's afraid of what it all implies since her impression of a serpent laying lies. Cause I've been known to pedal my field of varnished moon. My paper thin shade shaped mirrors Thought of you I'm taking it all down. I swear I'll tear it all in two. Tell me it'll end up making me the one you choose. I'm on my own ooh, and I still dream of you at daylight crying out at noon I know you see right through me. I love the way you do
• 20:50
  Speaker C: every
• 20:50
  Speaker D: time it tears me and builds me back anew I don't know what it means but I surrender through and through.
• 21:03
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 21:03
  Speaker D: And when all I was was sweet All I was was suffering. You held me in your arms and then you held up your hand. Couldn't be your lover, I could never be your man. To strangers from the garden to be strangers once again. No, I hold my own. I still dream of you
• 21:33
  Speaker C: out at
• 21:34
  Speaker D: midnight howling at the moon.
• 22:14
  Speaker C: To play.
• 22:19
  Speaker D: Oh, but love you teach me. I think I love it that way. Thought I'd lead the band. Yeah, but you know every tune. Thought I'd lead the dance. Yeah, but you know every move. And I've been going through it but I'm going through with it now. Through and through.
• 22:45
  Speaker B: All right, that was through and through performed live here in the dazzle den. And Julian, I want to thank you so much for taking time out of your day to come up here and have this conversation and bring your instruments and do a live performance. And for those listening, if you want to check out the video, I am going to put up the videos on YouTube of the performance. So if they're not up there now, it just means I'm lazy. But they will be up there super soon. But anyway, before we go, I just want to give you the chance to say what I refer to as your gratitudes.
• 23:18
  Speaker C: Well, thank you, Andy, for having me for putting your time into this. I want to first shout out my family moving to the capital region. My older brother was a big help in getting me just started here. My parents have been helping me out recently through some tough times. And yeah, my friends here and Troy have made a big difference in my life. Everybody go check out girl. Love. My friend Laura. Yeah, fantastic. She is. And she puts on a showcase, which was one of the first shows that I ever did once I came out as trans. There's another amazing, well known local songwriter, Sawyer Fredericks, who was special to me. Yeah, there's too many people to count, but to shout those people out. Yeah. And then Metroland is just one of those great local publications that I'm really just overjoyed and almost like surprised when I got to read one for the first time. I was like, wait, this is here? They do this like every month. Like, how does this exist? Like, I was just so overjoyed by that. The local community. It's like it's. There's too many people to count who have helped me out and who have made the experience of being in a tiny city better than I would have ever imagined. So, yeah, all right, cool.
• 24:51
  Speaker B: Well, she is Juliana Joy. I am Andy scullin. This is unsigned 518.
• 24:56
  Speaker E: I'll see you on the road. Unsigned 518 is produced and hosted by me, Andy Scullin. New episodes are available every week wherever you stream podcasts. If you'd like to help support the show, please like and subscribe wherever you are listening. Or you could buy me a coffee@buymeacoffee.com unsigned 518 if you would like to advertise on the show, send me an email at untimed518. And to be a guest on the show, reach out to me through Instagram at unsigned518. Take care of one another and I'll see you next week.
• 25:35
  Speaker A: And Scholar.