Latest / Chip Ingram Sermon Podcast / How to "Break Out" of a Destructive Cycle

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How to "Break Out" of a Destructive Cycle · Chip Ingram Sermon Podcast

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Today on Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram.
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Do you know someone who says they're a Christian
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but doesn't live like one at all? I mean, they
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might even go to church and you say to yourself,
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I want to help them, but I don't know how. If
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you know someone like that or honestly would
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say, I could use a little help myself, then stay
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with me. Today's for you. For a Christian, real
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transformation is more than just a goal. It's
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a certainty. You just have to understand God's
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process. Today on Living on the Edge, Chip Ingram
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continues our series called Free at Last, How
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to Break Out of a Destructive Lifestyle. Remember,
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if there's ever a message you miss or want to
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revisit, all of these lessons are available online
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at livingontheedge .org. Now let's open our Bibles
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to Ephesians chapter 4 starting in verse 17 as
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we join Chip for today's message, How to Break
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Out of a Destructive Cycle. Once upon a time,
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there were two small little green caterpillars.
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And they crawled upon this little twig and connected
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themselves and spun a little cocoon. And after
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a fairly short period of time, something happened.
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magically, supernaturally, amazingly inside.
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And metamorphosis occurred. And two little butterflies
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burst forth. And one butterfly's name was Barbara.
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And the other butterfly's name was Benny. They
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had this conversation. If you can imagine with
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me, the wind is blowing kind of gently and the
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leaves are rustling. They're kind of, their wings
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are still wet. And Barbara turns to Benny and
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says, Benny, look at this. This is amazing. Look
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at the sky. It's blue. And I'm not sure what
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those white things are. And then she looked down
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from the limb and I think those are flowers.
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She was getting very, very excited. Then having
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known him prior, you're not a green worm anymore.
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I mean, you are beautiful. She goes, Benny, watch
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this, and kind of takes wings and steps off,
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45 degree angle, swooshes down, sniffs a flower,
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comes back up, lands next to, oh, Benny, you
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got to try it. It's great. It's fantastic. It's
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a whole new life. It's nothing like the old days
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when we would crawl around. Benny kind of looked
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down. He goes, it's a long way down. I'm afraid
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of heights. I don't know if these wings are going
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to work. And besides, what if I die when I get
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near one of those flowers? Something grabs me.
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And they had this conversation back and forth,
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and Barbara did everything to get Benny just
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to, you're new, you're different, take the step.
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And fortunately, Benny said, you know, I know
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I was uglier, but I knew what I was doing when
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I was crawling. He took his wings, and he kind
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of folded them down, He laid down on the twig
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and he says, I'm just going to pretend. I know
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you know and I know I'm a butterfly, but I think
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I'm just going to kind of go back to the old
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days. Now, I've never had a personal conversation
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with a butterfly, but I can tell you this. God
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in nature has created one of the most amazing
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pictures, as he does often, to express to you
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and me the difference. and the miracle of when
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he changes our life. If any man or if any woman
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is in Christ, in relationship, in Christ, it
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says you're a new creation. And the old things
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pass away, and behold, it's a process, but all
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things become new. And I would just ask you as
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we get started and we talk about this miracle
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of life change, If you just privately had to
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say, which one of those butterflies most represents
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you? Which one would it be? The one where it's
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an adventure, there's risk, you're flying, you
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recognize the beauty and you're stepping out?
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Or is it the one that's like, you know, I really
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know I'm in Christ, but you sort of withdraw,
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pull back, live in fear. As we've been through
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Ephesians chapter 4, the Apostle Paul, speaking
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empowered by the Holy Spirit, wants you to know
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and wants me to know that a new life demands
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life change. And you know the research and you
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probably have it in your own life as I've had
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it in mind in different seasons where you know
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some changes need to happen and you're not experiencing
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them. So historically, a couple very negative
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things have happened with pastors and teachers
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and among Christians that when people's lives
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aren't changing, sometimes we try and create
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some artificial ways to either explain it or
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get people to change. One very dysfunctional
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way is called moralism. And what we do is we
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try and just get people to change their external
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behavior. And we tell them things like your external
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morality is what makes you right with God. And
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it moves away from a relationship with Christ
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and a supernatural life and love and relationships
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and caring and powered by the Holy Spirit to
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sort of a list of rules that people keep. And
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they feel guilty. And in fact, just as anyone,
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you know, yeah, go ahead and raise your hand.
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Has anyone in the last month had to say, I'm
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sorry to anyone? I have. You ever? Now, if the
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fact that you've had to say I'm sorry tells you
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that you can't even keep your own rules, right?
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Let alone God's rules. But moralism is piling
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people up with guilt and telling them if you
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do these four things or stop doing these seven
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things, that's what makes you, quote, a good
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Christian. And it ends up in legalism and restrictions
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and completely misses. Now, when you're changed
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from the inside out, your morality will change.
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But it is not your external attempts to keep
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moral boundaries that make you right with God.
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The absolute opposite extreme is called antinomianism.
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Long word, but you break it up. Anti, against,
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nomianism, or namas has the idea of a law. And
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so some people say, you know, it's so hard to,
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your life's not changing. Where sin abounds,
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grace super abounds. And so in the history of
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the church, In fact, in our multiple cults, they
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just say, you know what? Don't worry about changing.
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When you sin, God just gives you more grace.
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There's no condemnation in Christ. He loves you.
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There is no law. Just do and live any way you
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want. But the Apostle Paul would say, you were
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called to freedom, brothers, but don't allow
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your freedom to be an opportunity for the flesh.
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But there's a whole group of people, it's a very
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interesting one, that just say, you know what?
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Morality, sexuality, immorality, God covers it
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all. The scripture teaches that a new life will
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produce a new lifestyle. And the Apostle Paul
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in verses 17 through 24 is going to explain what
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that looks like and why. Open it up, if you will.
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And as you do and look at your teaching notes,
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I just want to remind you that these letters
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were written in a context. Paul just didn't sit
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in a library. In fact, he's in prison when he's
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writing this one. And if you were in downtown
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Ephesus, there would be the temple of Diana over
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here and there would be a brothel over here and
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you could have any kind of sex, any kind of way
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you could ever want it. I mean, it was a wild
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and crazy place and it was a core city of the
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world. And these people have come to know Jesus
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and they've been taken out of the kingdom of
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darkness and placed in the kingdom of light and
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he lives inside of them. And the goal is that
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it would be salt and light and transform the
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world. And the apostle Paul is going to say now,
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Your new life demands a new lifestyle. And what
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he's gonna do in verse 17, he's gonna remind
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them of what their life used to be like. Let's
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read the whole passage to get an overview. He
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says, so I tell you this and I insist on it.
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In the Lord, that you must no longer live as
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the Gentiles do in the futility of their thinking.
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They're darkened in their understanding and they're
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separated from the life of God. Well, why? Because
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of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening
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of their hearts. As a result, having lost all
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sensitivity, they've given themselves over to
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sensuality as to indulge in every kind of impurity
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with a continual lust for more. He's describing
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a culture of violence and sexual immorality and
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disregard for people and slavery and the dehumanizing
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of people and greed. That's just off the charts.
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But you, however, did not come to know Christ
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that way, speaking of their conversion. Surely
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you have heard of him and you were taught in
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him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus.
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And then he reminds them of what he taught them.
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You were taught with regard to your former way
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of life to put off your old self, which is being
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corrupted by its deceitful desires. To be made
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new in the attitude of your minds and to put
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on the new self created to be like God in true
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righteousness and holiness. In essence, at the
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very top you'll see it. A believer whose life
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does not change is an oxymoron. In other words,
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it's incompatible. It's inconceivable. And yet
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the Barna and Gallup research would say that
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about 8 out of 10 people in America who verbally
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profess that Jesus is Lord, their life hasn't
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changed. We divorce at about the same rate. We
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lie at about the same rate. Our morality is about
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the same. We do about the same with our dreams,
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our money, our relationships. We lie about coming
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into work about the same as those that are outside
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of Christ. And the Apostle Paul says, wait a
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second, this isn't about some intellectual knowledge
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about God and you pray a little prayer. A new
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life demands, creates a brand new lifestyle.
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But what he's going to teach them is some of
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you don't know how that works. I want to give
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you grace. I want to give you understanding about
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how this really works. And three very specific
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truths flow out of this passage. The first truth
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is kind of the negative, but he has to lay it
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out for him because there's a group of people
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saying, hey, you know what? I, you know, there's
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this God, this God, this God, and Jesus. That's
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great. I remember being in India and I was going
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to speak and it was a number of years ago, right
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after the tsunami had been there eight days earlier.
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And there's a young Indian man and I had a chance
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to share Christ with him. And we talked for about
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10 minutes and I said, well, what do you think?
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And he kind of looked at me and goes, Jesus is
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great. I believe in about a thousand other gods.
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I believe in this one, this one, this one. I'll
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add Jesus to the list. Paul's saying it doesn't
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work that way. You don't just add him to the
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list and intellectually throw him into your sort
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of religious basket. Truth number one is this.
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As believers, our lives must be progressively,
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underline the word progressively. Doesn't mean
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you're perfect. Progressively characterized by
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moral purity. As believers, genuine followers,
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our lives must be progressively characterized
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By moral purity. If you have a pen, pull it out
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if you will. I want to do a little Bible study
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with you. I've laid out the text in a way where
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you can see some of the relationships. Notice
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verse 17. He says, so I tell you and I insist
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upon that you must no longer live and circle
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the word live and right above it walk. That's
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our word. In other words, it's a process. It's
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a journey. You must not walk as the Gentiles
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do. In other words, as unbelievers. And then
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he describes in the futility of their mind. Put
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an arrow from that and write the word command.
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This is a command. He's commanding them, you
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can't keep living the same way. This phrase in
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the futility of their minds, he means aimlessly
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in vanity, purposelessness with no direction,
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a life devoid of worth. It says you're completely
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out of sync with God's purposes for your life.
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You can't keep living that way. The next line
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he says, he describes your life before Christ.
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He says they are darkened in their understanding
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and they're separated from the life of God. Put
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an arrow and write their state. He makes a command
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and it says, now here's their state before God.
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This is their standing, if you will. And the
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two phrases there, the first one is darkened
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in their understanding. It literally means your
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mind is blinded by sin. You progressively no
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longer can hear God's voice. He's going to take
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us through a progression downward of what happens
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when we turn away from God. And then beyond that,
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excluded from the life of God, literally it means
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to be alienated, completely separate. In the
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next line, he tells us the why. There's a command.
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Here's the present state. These people, their
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minds have been blinded. They don't see it. They
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don't get it anymore. And it tells why. Because
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of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening
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of their hearts. The word ignorance here is not
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an intellectual ignorance. This isn't that they
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don't know intellectually this is right and this
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is wrong. This is a moral ignorance. This is
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an ignorance where, you know when you do something
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wrong and you feel kind of bad about it and you
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feel guilty? And you say, oh man, I shouldn't.
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And then you do it again and you feel a little
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bit less guilty and it doesn't really bother
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you. He says, there's a progress where you can
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get where you don't feel anything. Where you
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can sear your conscience. Where you get to the
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point where in terms of right or wrong, who's
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to say what's right or wrong? And you know what?
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No one's going to tell me what to do about anything.
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If I want it, I'll take it. And there's just
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this total disregard. And that's, he says, this
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ignorance. And the ignorance happens because
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there's a process, he says, due to the hardening
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of their hearts. That word hardening, we get
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our word like a petrified forest. It's the word
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petrified. Their hearts get harder and harder
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and harder and harder. It's just complete disregard
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for God. And then he says, there's a result.
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So you get a command. You get their state. Put
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a little arrow in the third one, the reason.
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And then here's the result. Having lost all sensitivity.
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Literally, we get our word calloused. In other
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words, your soul, your spirit, your heart, layer
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after layer after layer of turning away from
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God and doing what is wrong, you lose all sensitivity
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or you're calloused. They've given themselves
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over to sensuality so as to indulge in every
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kind of impurity with a continual lust for more.
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One commentator writes, it's a surrendering of
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oneself to all the passions with gusto with no
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regard to whom it may injure or hurt. There is
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no shame, no remorse, no regret. I was away with
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Teresa after a little teaching stint recently,
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and it was rainy and yicky, and a movie came
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on. It's not a movie I'd ever seen, and it was
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the true story of a woman whose family was taken
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to Auschwitz, to the concentration camp. And
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the way the movie was laid out is you would have
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her, there were these three men interviewing
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her because they're looking back into history
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and she wanted to get her license as a doctor
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to deliver babies, to deliver babies in downtown
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New York City. And she was being interviewed
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because she came out of the camp and they were
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evaluating whether she might be a war crime person
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because of what happened in those camps. And
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she was explaining to them her journey there
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and how all of her family was killed and what
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she was forced to do. And in it, they showed
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these snapshots. Snapshots of what it was actually
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like in the concentration camp. And there were
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little windows of it that were just like, oh
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God, that is so evil. I picked up the remote
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and as I picked it up, then I thought, you know
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something? This is the condition of the human
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heart. And I was studying these passages. And
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I thought, somehow we get insulated from this.
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And there is a hardening. There's things that
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human beings do to one another. When our hearts
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get hard and totally disregard for God, there's
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no sense of right or wrong. And in one scene,
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this very famous doctor who was judged for all
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these war crimes walked in. He goes, is there
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a doctor here? And it was a barracks that, you
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know, they had cut the women's hair and they
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stripped them of all dignity and did unmentionable
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things. And it smelled and they didn't give them
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enough food. And as soon as they found out if
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a woman was pregnant, they shot her and killed
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her and the baby immediately. And so this, is
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there a doctor in here? And she was a doctor
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and no one moved. And he just walked up to someone.
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Bam! And just literally, I mean, it was so shocking.
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Now, I will kill another one. Is there a doctor
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in here? And she stepped forward and another
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girl. And they set up a little clinic. And then
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this guy did experiments without anesthesia on
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people. I mean, it was, and it reminded me of
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the pictures that I saw in Rwanda. When people
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that would go to the market and stores and schools
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and live together and then the tribal conflict
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and pretty soon they were raiding one another's
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homes and killing men and women and children
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in the name of you're not in this tribe. I mean,
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think of what's happening all around the globe.
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In the last century, more people were killed
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by their rulers, by the Stalins, by the Hitlers,
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by the Mussolinis than all the wars of all time,
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of all history. The apostle Paul is saying, in
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the darkness of people's hearts turning away
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from God, he said, you were on a journey toward
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that kind of life and that's what it's like apart
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from God. And so here's his point. He says, it's
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inconceivable for a believer's life not to change.
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Be holy, first Peter would write, even as I am
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holy. John, the beloved disciple would say, If
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you say you love God and hate your brother, you're
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a liar and there's no truth in you. If you say
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you love God and you don't keep his commandments,
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you're a liar and there's no truth in you. Our
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vertical relationship with God through Christ
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must get played out in how we treat other people.
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And in this church, like in America today, a
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lot of people's lives weren't changing. And so
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first of all, he sets the bar and he says, look,
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your life not changing, You progressively not
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allowing God's spirit to control your tongue
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and your thoughts and your appetites so that
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you progressively become less sinful and more
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Christ -like. He says moral purity isn't an option.
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It's not like a salad bar. Like, you know, I
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love Jesus. And, you know, like seven out of
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the ten commands sound pretty good. But, you
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know, God will grade on the curve. No, no, no,
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no. It's that you walk with him. I was in Atlanta
20:08
and meeting with a young couple and they'd listened
20:11
to something on the radio and they were excited
20:13
about it and had their Bibles and were telling
20:15
me how neat this was and that was and they'd
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been coming to this Bible study a couple times
20:19
and were sharing a couple things with me and
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I said, well, where do you live? And I was expecting
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her to say, well, I live here and him to say,
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I live here and they were going to a very fine
20:28
Bible teaching church and they said, well, we
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live here. I said, what do you mean, the same
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apartment complex? Oh, no, no, we live together.
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I said, hold it, help me. So, like, you live
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together like man and wife, but you're not man
20:40
and wife. And so, you know, sometimes I can be
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blunt. So, you live together having sex and you're
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not married. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah, we, yeah.
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I mean, you know, we really love God. We really
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follow Jesus. We just don't really think that
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stuff about no sex before marriage is all that
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important. I said, you know, there's a lot of
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Christians that do that with a lot of different
20:57
passages, but God's not really happy with that.
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And here's the deal. You know why he's not happy?
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You're embarrassing him. In terms of how you're
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living. And can I tell you this? You're hurting
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your relationship. Any time God gives commands
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and rules, he's not a prude. I mean, he actually
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invented sex and every other good thing. He wants
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to give you the best thing at the right time
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in the right way. And you guys are short -circuiting
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the process. But you know, that's sort of one
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of those easy ones for those out there. I think
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all of us, don't all of us have a few things
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where we say, you know, we know we're supposed
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to pay our taxes, right? But, you know, the government's
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wasting so much money. And we know that, you
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know, we're supposed to put good things in our
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mind. But, I mean, you know, when you're tired.
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And we know that, you know, our bodies are the
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temple of God. But, you know, right? See, we
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baptize certain sins. Or we all struggle with
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them so much, we just pretend we don't. Right?
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Paul's saying, a new life demands a new lifestyle.
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And that moral purity is first and foremost one
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of the things that distinguishes us. And then
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he gives the reason why. I mean, why is that
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so important? The second truth is an immoral
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lifestyle is inconceivable for us as believers
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for two reasons. In other words, look in verse
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20, he says, you, however, didn't come to know.
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That's in a punctiliar time. He's talking about
22:19
your conversion. He goes, that was before. That's
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for people that aren't in Christ. But you. You
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didn't come to know Christ in that way. Surely
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you heard of him, speaking of when you heard
22:30
the gospel and understood that Christ died for
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you in your place, paid for your sin and rose
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from the dead, and you were taught in him. That
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word has the idea of, you know, the fellowship
22:40
and the connection and the community and what
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God was doing in your life and doing life with
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people and the progress. And then according to,
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notice, the truth that is in Jesus. This little
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phrase in Jesus put this way is here only in
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the New Testament. It's a reference to the historical
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Jesus. The Jesus that lived and walked and taught.
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The Jesus that said to the woman, go and sin
23:04
no more. The Jesus that said, if anyone can,
23:06
has anyone seen me sin? See, Jesus was holy and
23:12
pure and he said, follow me and I will make you
23:16
like me. Your life will be transformed. And so
23:20
here's the two reasons why it's inconceivable
23:23
for us to live immoral lives. Number one, it
23:27
contradicts who we are. It contradicts who you
23:31
really are. You are not a green worm, caterpillar
23:35
anymore. You're a butterfly. You're a new person.
23:39
You're not a slave to sin. You're a son. You're
23:41
a daughter. You've been redeemed. You're loved.
23:44
You're precious. His spirit lives within you.
23:47
You have a father who's created all that there
23:49
is. He's got a plan for you. You're brand new.
23:52
You're life. You need to fly, not crawl. See,
23:56
here's the issue, and here's how moralism plays
23:58
its way out. Most of us think that the issue
24:01
of sin is a behavioral problem, and it's not.
24:06
The behavior is the symptom. The issue of sin
24:09
is a relational problem. See, when people are
24:13
asking questions like, well, how far can I go?
24:15
Or should I do this or not? And it's kind of
24:18
gray and is this right or is this wrong? And
24:20
you kind of know what's right already. The focus
24:23
is on these external behaviors instead of, wait
24:25
a second, there is no condemnation for those
24:28
that are in Christ Jesus. What's it look like
24:30
to draw closer to God? And what are the things
24:35
that put a barrier? For those of you that are
24:38
married, you've been down this road, you know?
24:40
Something happens in your relationship and you've
24:43
hurt them or you neglected or you forgot something
24:46
or you blew up in anger or you have a history
24:49
of something and you've done it again. And then
24:52
you walk in the house. It happens with roommates
24:55
as well. And there's sort of this funky stuff
24:57
in the air, you know. And you know there's a
25:00
problem. And you can say something like, I'm
25:03
sorry. And the funkiness in the air doesn't go
25:07
away, does it? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done
25:10
that. Focus on behavior. I'll try not to do that
25:13
again. And if it's one like that, if it's I'll
25:16
try not to do that again, I'll try not to do
25:17
that again, you keep on doing it, what do you
25:19
get? It's this distance. But when you see violations
25:26
in a relationship as I hurt that person, there's
25:30
a breach. Our love is broken down. There's not
25:33
a connection. There's that weird thing in the
25:35
air. Until you sit down and look them in the
25:39
eye and often with a few tears in your eye and
25:41
say, you know something, I told you I would do
25:44
this. I did it again. I'm sorry. I blew it. Will
25:47
you forgive me? I'm really, really sorry. And
25:51
when there's a confession that's followed by
25:53
a reconnection of the relationship, then what
25:55
happens? See, the issue of sin, it's like just
25:59
because you're a Christian doesn't mean you're
26:00
not going to sin anymore. It just means that
26:04
your sins have been forgiven, and it means the
26:07
power has been broken. You don't have to sin
26:09
anymore. But when you sin, what it does is it
26:11
separates you in your fellowship with your Heavenly
26:14
Father. And so the issue isn't about just these
26:16
external behaviors. And so there's lots of people,
26:19
I'm going to start to do that. I'm going to stop
26:20
doing that. I try hard, try hard, try hard, fail.
26:23
Try hard, try hard, try hard, fail. It's not
26:25
until your mind gets renewed and you realize,
26:27
I'm breaking God's heart. I'm a son. I'm a daughter.
26:33
And that's why a lot of people you don't feel
26:35
his presence. The reason you don't want to read
26:38
the Bible. Or praying for more than a few seconds.
26:41
Your mind wanders everywhere. Is because of unresolved
26:44
issues. The issue is your identity. The issue
26:49
is who you really are. And an immoral lifestyle
26:52
contradicts who you are. That's not who you are.
26:56
But it also contradicts who Jesus is. Jesus was
27:00
not. Someone who sinned. Jesus was someone who
27:03
loved. Jesus is someone who's pure in accordance
27:06
with the truth that is in Jesus. So if externally
27:14
trying to keep these rules isn't at the heart
27:16
of the new life, how do you become transformed?
27:20
How does it really work? And he's going to give
27:23
us the general outline in verses 22 to 24. And
27:27
he's going to say there's a three. principles
27:29
of renewal. Three specific principles that progressively,
27:34
yes, at a point in time, you're justified. God
27:37
fills you with his spirit. He forgives your sin.
27:40
He declares you. He sits you in the heavenly
27:42
places. He says now there's a journey of walking.
27:45
We achieve personal purity by following God's
27:49
threefold principles of transformation. Number
27:52
one, we put off the old. Notice what it says.
27:57
Put off the old self. It's a metaphor. It's a
28:00
picture of like having shabby, dirty, stinky,
28:04
torn clothes. And it's in a tense of the verb
28:07
that means at a certain time, at a certain point,
28:09
you make a decision and you take them off. For
28:12
some of us, you've come to Christ and you struggle
28:15
with an addiction to alcohol or codependency
28:19
or drugs. For some of us, you have an addiction
28:23
to pleasing people or you find your worth in
28:25
work. We have a lot of these, you know, sins
28:28
that we kind of get rewarded for. And it says
28:30
at a certain point, you need to make a decision
28:33
that you need to take that off. I please people
28:37
because I think I'm only acceptable. My identity
28:39
is everyone likes me all the time. So you're
28:41
overextended. Or you're a workaholic like I have
28:44
been. And you feel like... I am my performance.
28:47
How much I do, how much I accomplish. When I
28:49
have those uneasy feelings, I just start working
28:51
because when I work, I feel better. Some of you
28:53
have eating problems. When you have that dissonance
28:56
in your soul, you eat and go to the refrigerator
28:58
because when you eat, you feel a little bit better
29:01
for just a little while. He says, at some point,
29:06
you make a decision and you say, I drink. Every
29:12
night after dinner. Because there's this stuff
29:15
going on inside of me. And it used to be just
29:18
an occasional glass of wine. But I can't not
29:21
do it. And it went from an occasional glass of
29:23
wine. To a few margaritas. And then it went from
29:25
that to. You know a shot of Jack Daniels. Really
29:28
kind of helps you sleep better. And you've had
29:31
friends and people talk to you. And say you know
29:34
hey honey. Or hey I think that's. I'm just social.
29:38
I've got this freedom in Christ. And you do.
29:41
But if a number of people were saying that you
29:42
have a drinking problem, here's all I would say.
29:45
Well, just don't drink anything for the next
29:46
seven days. Oh, I could do that. Okay, do it.
29:50
Bet you can't. But here's the issue. The focus
29:54
isn't try hard, try hard, stop drinking. Try
29:56
hard, try hard, get off the internet. Try hard,
29:59
try hard, quit pleasing people. It's a decision
30:03
to realize I'm going to take that off. That can't
30:07
fill me. And then notice the second one. Have
30:10
your mind renewed. You got to think differently.
30:13
You need to see yourself as a son. You need to
30:16
realize, okay, for me, I had to say, I'm going
30:18
to stop working crazy hours and put a box around
30:21
it. In people pleasing, I had to set some boundaries
30:24
and say, I'm going to eat dinner at home on a
30:26
regular basis. I'm not going to get with people
30:28
until I get with God. I'm only going to work
30:31
X number of hours a week. For some of you, it's,
30:35
you know what? I'm going to stop smoking. Even
30:39
though I know it's illegal, it kind of really
30:42
helps me connect with God. Believe me, I've heard
30:43
it all. But it's a decision. But what you need
30:48
to understand is behind that, it's not just about
30:51
the external behavior. It's what that is doing
30:53
to your relationship. And it's your identity
30:56
that you don't understand. And so then you get
30:58
your mind renewed. And you begin to think differently.
31:02
And you realize, my work and performance isn't
31:06
who I am. See, when that changes, then you have
31:09
the power in Christ to not have to work all the
31:12
time. This buzz that I get when I feel low and
31:17
discouraged and worn out, for some of us, we're
31:19
addicted to TV. I mean, you go home and you literally,
31:24
your pattern is you blow about two to three hours
31:26
every night watching TV in the name of just sort
31:30
of chilling out. And you're bombarding your mind
31:34
with all kind of information that pulls you away.
31:37
From all the things of the person you long to
31:39
be and who God wants you to be. The third step
31:42
is this. It says, then put on a point in time
31:45
the new. As someone has said, for some of us,
31:49
it's a liar doesn't cease to be a liar when he
31:52
stops lying. A liar ceases to be a liar when
31:57
he stops lying and starts telling the truth.
32:00
A workaholic doesn't cease to see if it's just
32:02
the behavior. I'm going to stop working. I'm
32:04
not going to do so much. I'm going to cut back.
32:05
I'm going to get margin in your life. How many
32:07
of us have said that about a million times? How's
32:10
that working for you? See, at the core, if your
32:14
mind isn't renewed and you don't realize my work
32:18
is not me, what people think of me is not me.
32:22
This buzz that I get that kind of gives me, that's
32:24
not me. I'm a son or a daughter. I'm already
32:28
loved. I'm already precious. And so in my workaholism,
32:31
I say, I'm going to stop. I have my mind renewed.
32:35
My work isn't me. I'm accepted by him. And then
32:38
I put on Sabbath. And so for me, all day Friday,
32:42
it's no voicemail. It's no email. I'm not going
32:45
to work. Okay, some of you, you're addicted to
32:48
materialism, right? I mean, you buy stuff you
32:51
don't need. Your credit is off the wall because
32:53
when you buy stuff and do stuff, it makes you
32:55
feel better. And you think it will, this issue
32:59
is not like, are you dealing with this? It's
33:01
just how much, right? You decide no longer will
33:05
what I have or what I wear or what I buy define
33:08
me. I renew my mind, but I need to move from
33:12
that to being generous with my time, generous
33:16
with my resources. That's the process of sanctification.
33:21
And so many people are stuck on trying hard,
33:23
trying hard. I've got to stop cussing. I've got
33:26
to stop logging onto the internet. I've got to
33:27
stop buying this stuff. I've got to stop eating
33:29
this stuff. I've got to stop, stop, stop, stop,
33:32
stop. And you try hard, try hard, try hard and
33:34
you fail. Try hard, try hard, try hard and you
33:35
fail. Then you try hard, try hard and then you
33:38
just start faking it. And we've got Christians
33:42
all over America and around the world faking
33:44
it. And so the next best thing is you learn a
33:47
few verses and you come to church some and you're
33:49
always living sort of with this conflict between
33:51
guilt, guilt, guilt, and God loves me, God loves
33:53
me. And God says, you're my son. You're my daughter.
33:59
I've paid for you. You're deeply loved. I've
34:03
put my spirit in you. I want you to renew your
34:06
mind. I want you to understand who you really
34:09
are. And would you in your notes right in the
34:11
middle write Romans 12 too? I mean, what Paul
34:15
is doing in these verses, 22, 23, and 24, he's
34:20
giving you the shortest overview of Romans chapter
34:22
5, 6, 7, and 8. I mean, if you read that, he
34:28
would lay out. This is what God has done. You've
34:31
died with him. You've been resurrected. He'll
34:33
say, take off. Don't present your members anymore
34:36
to sin. Have your mind renewed. Present yourself
34:39
to God as someone who's been raised from the
34:41
dead. That's Romans 6. Romans 7, he'll talk about
34:43
the conflict that happens even as a believer.
34:45
We're all going to struggle in our walk. We'll
34:47
fall down. And then chapter 8, he'll talk about
34:50
the power of the Spirit to live his life through
34:52
you. When I meet people, and this is, I've so
34:55
struggled and why I so want to share this with
34:58
you. I meet people all the time that's so long
35:02
down inside to break out of a destructive lifestyle,
35:04
but you keep putting stuff in your mind that
35:07
destines you to do the same stupid stuff over
35:10
and over and over again. In the past few decades,
35:14
the fortunate among us have recognized the hazards
35:16
of living with an overabundance of food, obesity,
35:19
and diabetes, and have begun to shift our diets.
35:22
Most of us, however, have not yet understood
35:24
that the news is to the mind what sugar is to
35:27
the body. The news is easy to digest. The media
35:29
feeds small bites of trivial material tidbits
35:32
that don't really concern our lives and don't
35:34
require thinking. That's why we experience almost
35:37
no saturation. Unlike reading a book or a long,
35:41
deep magazine article which requires thinking,
35:43
we can swallow limitless qualities of news flashes
35:47
like bright -colored candies for the mind. It's
35:50
a long article. It's called Avoid the News Towards
35:52
a Healthy News Diet by Rolf de Belli. And then
35:56
he does a number of research and he has like
35:58
13, 14, 15 things about what watching the news
36:02
does. The news inhibits good thinking and decision
36:05
making because you're flooded with information.
36:08
The news is costly because it costs you a lot
36:10
of time. The news kills creativity and the news
36:13
creates passive people by research. Now, am I
36:17
telling you that it's sinful or wrong to ever
36:20
watch the news? Of course not. What I'm telling
36:23
you is that you live in a world where you're
36:27
going to be the product of your thinking. As
36:29
a man or woman thinks in your mind, so you become.
36:32
The mindset on the flesh is death. The mindset
36:34
on the spirit is life and peace. This central
36:36
part of renewing your mind, we know. What did
36:40
Jesus say? Man can't live. You can't walk. You
36:44
can't be transformed by physical bread alone,
36:46
but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth
36:48
of God. And so there's this process. It's a decision.
36:52
It's like on your computer and there's a program.
36:54
You delete. So it's a point in time. You delete.
36:58
Then you install a new program, right? And it's
37:02
installed. It says, just a minute, it's booting,
37:04
it's booting, loading, right? And then after
37:08
it loads, then you click run. Isn't it interesting
37:11
that we create computers exactly the way God's
37:14
created our minds to work? And for some of you,
37:17
he brought you today and he says, here's what
37:19
I want you to do. Click delete on sexual immorality.
37:22
Click delete today on workaholism or pleasing
37:25
people or alcohol. I don't know what it is, but
37:29
you do. But now what he's going to say is, if
37:33
all you do is click delete, what would you know
37:35
on your computer? You've got to install a new
37:38
program. You got to put new things in your mind.
37:42
So instead of all that news, you need to get
37:44
into God's word. You need to take a walk outside
37:47
and see beauty. You need to read a good book
37:50
that causes you to think. You need to read some
37:52
things that are refreshing and inspiring and
37:55
some biographies. You need to hang out with some
37:57
people and talk about what are you reading and
37:59
what are you thinking? When you start, you're
38:01
reloading and then you put on. And so instead
38:05
of being, you know, a people pleaser, I become
38:08
a a servant and I set some boundaries. Instead
38:11
of being a workaholic, I have some Sabbath and
38:15
I renew myself. Instead of being an alcoholic
38:18
and wanting to cover it, I get filled with the
38:20
Spirit instead of filled with stuff. Because
38:23
what they both do is they influence me, how I
38:25
think, what I do, how I behave. Here's the hope
38:30
and I really want you to get this. He gives us
38:34
sort of this delete Install new program and run
38:37
in verses 22, 23, and 24. Because he's then going
38:42
to say, let me show you how this actually works
38:44
in the most practical areas of life. And he's
38:47
going to give us five specific of areas that
38:50
instead of trying hard, how to go into training
38:52
and how you really change. In fact, let me give
38:56
you hope as we wrap this up. This is a letter
38:59
I have from a friend. What I want you to listen
39:02
for is stop. Decision, he put off the old self
39:07
like a bad, ugly pair of clothes. Install, renewing
39:13
of his mind, and then click, he runs the new
39:17
program. Greetings from San Quentin. He's one
39:21
of my prison friends. From death row. He's a
39:24
very bad guy who lost all sensibility. You don't
39:28
get on death row for doing small things. I'm
39:31
embarking now. He's a new Christian. To change
39:36
in my walk with Christ. When I first received
39:38
Christ, and he gives me the date, I felt compelled
39:41
to isolate myself for a season here. Note to
39:44
the point, really from temptations that I wasn't
39:46
yet able to resist. So I hadn't been out to the
39:49
yard since then. And that from a man that used
39:53
to hit the yard every day for my first four or
39:55
five years here. And oh yes, I was part and parcel
39:58
of all that happened with the convict mentality
40:01
and all that goes with it. And so he pushed delete.
40:05
He said, so I've decided I'm not going to go
40:07
out in the yard for a season. Now, runs a new
40:11
program. Meanwhile, I've saturated myself with
40:13
God's word in various ways. Now I feel ready
40:16
to face my old nemesis head on. This is at a
40:19
time when I also feel I need to get around some
40:21
other Christians and have real fellowship with
40:23
other believers. I tried to find some other genuine
40:26
believers in this yard, but I kept coming up
40:28
short. And then I heard about a group of believers
40:30
in another cell block. of real genuine believers
40:33
that meet, that share God's word, that are living
40:35
it out in the prison. And so I requested of the
40:38
warden to move me from my cell block to that
40:41
cell block. And I was told this absolutely never
40:43
happens ever. And then he writes to me, he says,
40:46
but what I know is that the king's heart is like
40:48
channels of water in the hand of the Lord. And
40:51
God can do anything and turns it whatever way
40:53
he wishes. He said, I told the Lord in my walk
40:56
of faith, if you move me great, if you don't
40:59
great, I will receive it. I want to do whatever
41:01
you want me to do. Do you hear the surrender?
41:04
He's in God's word. Stop. I can't keep going
41:07
there and be the man God wants me to be. I'm
41:10
going to reprogram my mind with truth and the
41:14
word, and now I need people. And then he gets
41:16
an answer. The warden says, we've reviewed your
41:20
files. We've seen an amazing change from the
41:23
Rick that we all knew to the Richard that you've
41:27
become. Simply put, he says, we've reviewed your
41:31
file and used to be quite a guy, shamefully so.
41:34
And so he says, as I now will be moved to the
41:37
new yard, I'm only going to attend the chapel
41:40
service once or maybe twice a month and ease
41:43
my way in to make it as painless as possible
41:46
on the others who probably can't believe that
41:49
I'm a genuine Christian. This is like Saul to
41:53
Paul. I mean, I don't want to go to chapel too
41:55
often. They'll think I might try and kill them.
41:58
I'm excited to tell you this. I'm reaping the
42:01
fellowship with other believers now that I so
42:03
desperately needed. God is changing my life.
42:07
Please pray for me. There's some of us sitting
42:09
in this room. Your prison's as real as his. Your
42:14
prison is as real as his. He's free now. He's
42:18
not a slave. He's not on death row in San Quentin.
42:20
In the eyes of God, he's born again. He has a
42:23
future. He's heaven bound. He's forgiven. There's
42:27
no condemnation. He's a son. He's not a slave.
42:30
He's not a person that has to live forever and
42:32
ever with what he's done in the past. It's been
42:34
put behind him. He's becoming a new person. But
42:37
trying to become this new person in that environment,
42:39
just like your environment, is very hard. And
42:42
what he understands is that who he now is has
42:45
to be demonstrated by how he now lives. And in
42:49
order to do that, he needs to put off the old
42:50
self, a decision, a point in time that some of
42:53
you need to make today. Today I make a decision
42:55
and then I'm gonna run a new program. And I would
42:59
encourage you, you know, turn off the TV for
43:01
three or four days or just stop watching the
43:04
news or cut back and start getting into God's
43:06
word and take a walk and look at nature and listen
43:09
to some good music and do things that renew you
43:11
and then put on. Take some baby steps in positive
43:15
areas. And if you'll track with me and let God
43:18
work, 90 days you'll be a different person. Last
43:22
night a guy walked up and he's with the Salvation
43:24
Army drug rehab program. And I just, he walked
43:27
up and I remember him a few months ago. He walked
43:30
up and man, there's no hope, man. And he's drugged
43:32
out and I prayed with him and this and that.
43:35
And he skipped up here last night and he put
43:37
his arms like that and was about six feet from
43:39
me. And he said, he lit up. I said, what's happening?
43:42
He goes, I'm 90 days clean. And he said, every,
43:45
he went like this. Everything you talked about,
43:47
that's how it works. I said, I know. It's God's
43:50
Word. He wants it for you. A new life demands
43:56
a new lifestyle. You're listening to Living on
44:03
the Edge with Chip Ingram and the end of a message
44:06
titled, How to Break Out of a Destructive Cycle.
44:09
It's from our series called Free at Last, How
44:11
to Break Out of a Destructive Lifestyle. And
44:14
there's more from Chip coming up in just a moment.
44:17
Delete, install, run. It's the simplest picture
44:20
Chip gave us today for how transformation actually
44:23
works. And it's exactly what Chip's book, Yes,
44:26
You Really Can Change, walks you through step
44:29
by step. How to put off what's dragging you down,
44:32
renew your thinking, and put on something that
44:35
actually lasts. Every purchase right now includes
44:38
a second copy, so you can hand one to someone
44:41
who's stuck in the same cycle, so you can read
44:43
it together. It's just one way we want to help
44:46
you invest in those around you. Go to livingontheedge
44:49
.org and look for the book, Yes, You Really Can
44:53
Change. You know, none of this happens without
44:56
people who quietly decide it matters enough to
44:59
fund. There's no other source behind this ministry,
45:02
just listeners who've chosen to make it possible.
45:04
If today's message meant something to you, we
45:07
invite you to help us keep it going forward.
45:09
Head to livingontheedge .org, dial us directly
45:12
at 888 -333 -6003, or mail your gift to Living
45:18
on the Edge, P .O. Box 3007, Suwannee, Georgia
45:21
30024. And if you ever have trouble joining us
45:26
here on the program, listen when it's convenient
45:28
for you by subscribing to the Living on the Edge
45:31
podcast. Every episode is there, ready when you
45:34
are. And for Chip's complete unedited messages,
45:37
the Chip Ingram Sermon Podcast has every sermon
45:40
in full wherever you listen. Well, now here's
45:44
Chip. As you listen to today's message, what
45:47
went through your mind? I mean, what is it in
45:50
your life? That when you're very honest, you
45:53
say to yourself, I really want to change that,
45:55
but I've tried and tried and tried, and the fact
45:59
is that it's still there. Well, what you know
46:03
is trying hard doesn't work, okay? I know that,
46:05
you know that. It begins first with a choice.
46:08
The passage is very clear. You have to put off
46:10
certain things, renew your mind, and then put
46:13
on this truth and allow the Spirit of God to
46:16
develop a life of Christ in you. Only He can
46:19
do that. But your part is you start with a choice,
46:21
and you say, I'm going to stop looking at pornography.
46:24
I'm going to stop pleasing people all the time.
46:27
I'm going to stop being a workaholic. I'm going
46:30
to stop that level of alcohol consumption or
46:33
that drug or whatever it is. So that's the beginning.
46:36
But the key is what do you put in your mind?
46:39
There's a reason why you're behaving the way
46:41
you're behaving. And it makes sense to you right
46:44
now because what you put in your mind is telling
46:46
you that this will relieve the pain. This will
46:50
sedate it. This will answer it for a while. But
46:52
your experience screams, no, it doesn't. Example,
46:55
I just got an email from a gal in our church.
46:58
And she's a real prayer warrior. And you can
47:01
just see the life of Christ in her. And she mentors
47:04
a woman in prison. And she's met with her multiple
47:06
times. And she sent me an email from this lady.
47:10
And this lady's been there quite a while and
47:12
went through very, very horrendous things. And
47:14
she said, I've always tried hard to stop certain
47:17
things. And then she was... teaching her about
47:19
the miracle of life change, Ephesians chapter
47:21
four. And she goes, when I started renewing my
47:25
mind, it's like there's a whole new world. For
47:28
some of you, what you need to realize is turn
47:30
off the TV, stop searching the web. You don't
47:33
need to watch that much YouTube. There's certain
47:36
people you need to force. Two weeks, just stop
47:38
being around them and take some small section
47:42
of scripture. Maybe it's Psalm 23 or maybe it's
47:46
this little passage in Ephesians. But read four
47:49
or five verses and don't just keep reading. Meditate
47:52
and ponder and think. Write it out on a card.
47:56
Pray it back to God. Memorize all of Romans chapter
47:59
12. It's just one short chapter. But just saturate
48:03
your mind for two weeks in the truth of God in
48:06
an area. that you're struggling with, I will
48:08
guarantee that you will see the Spirit of God
48:11
take the Word of God and begin to change you
48:14
from the inside out. Next time, Chip Ingram introduces
48:18
an idea that changed his own ministry, the concept
48:21
of spiritual training. He explains why trying
48:25
harder never breaks a besetting sin, but training
48:28
always can. That's next time here on Living on
48:31
the Edge. Today's program is produced and sponsored
48:38
by Living on the Edge.