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Why He Pulls Away & The "High-Value" Boundary That Brings Him Back · Mindful Success Path

• 0:32
  there's a moment in every relationship, even with a good husband, where the energy shifts, he gets quiet and he feels distant, and for most women, this triggers an immediate panic response.
• 0:44
  What did I do?
• 0:45
  Is he leaving?
• 0:46
  Does he still love me?
• 0:47
  Is he going to abandon me?
• 0:49
  And if you react from that fear, you're going to chase him, smother him, and actually push him away.
• 0:55
  But if you know what I'm about to share today, then you will realize that his distance is actually your greatest opportunity to deepen his attraction to you.
• 1:05
  And today we're gonna be talking about the difference between a man resetting his nervous system versus running away because he is uncomfortable.
• 1:14
  And we're also gonna be talking about the energetic boundary that you must hold to bring him back closer than ever before.
• 1:22
  Hi, my name is Amanda.
• 1:24
  Welcome to this channel where we talk about how to manifest what you want in life without all the extra stress, chaos, and drama that most people are accustomed to.
• 1:31
  If that's something that you're interested in, make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bell so you don't miss a single video that we have coming out on this channel.
• 1:38
  And if you like the content, do us a favor and give it a like, because it helps us get it in front of more people.
• 1:43
  Lately, we've been talking a lot about relationship dynamics.
• 1:47
  What happens when men pull away feminine energy, and not just the metaphysics behind this, but also a lot of the biology behind this.
• 1:54
  And this is based on my 15 years of experience coaching women in different areas of their lives.
• 2:00
  If you wanna go deeper, make sure to download our free, enhance your Feminine Energy guide below because it's gonna walk you through how to use feminine energy in different areas of your lives, including your relationships, including in a moment like this, where a man pulls away.
• 2:15
  And it's a really good starting point to understand feminine energy, what it is, how to use it in your life, and how it can improve your life as a woman.
• 2:25
  So let's get into it.
• 2:26
  You've probably heard of the man cave.
• 2:29
  The reality is that a man cave is biological.
• 2:33
  So first we have to assume the best.
• 2:35
  In a healthy dynamic, a masculine man processes stress internally, he goes into the cave.
• 2:43
  if you're into reading tarot, I liken it to the hermit in tarot where he's at the top of the mountain in the cold and he's got his lantern and he's looking up the star and he's in tonal solitude.
• 2:54
  That's kind of what happens when a healthy man pulls away.
• 2:59
  When a high value man pulls away, when a healthy man pulls away, it is not to attack you because unlike the feminine US, we tend to process through talking.
• 3:10
  We tend to process through connection, and the masculine actually processes through silence and solution finding.
• 3:18
  It's basically self-regulation.
• 3:20
  It's how a man regulates his nervous system.
• 3:23
  He is pulling back in order to recharge so that he can return to you as his best self.
• 3:30
  And the mistake that most women make is trying to drag him out of the cave before he's ready.
• 3:36
  It's like trying to wake a sleeping bear.
• 3:39
  It doesn't lead to connection, it just leads to conflict and it's important to understand what can trigger a man going into the cave.
• 3:48
  So for example, maybe he has work stress.
• 3:51
  Maybe he's working harder than ever.
• 3:53
  Maybe he's busy.
• 3:54
  Maybe there's some sort of other internal conflict that he has going on.
• 3:58
  Maybe he's grieving, maybe somebody passed away.
• 4:01
  There's so many different reasons why a man will feel the need to withdraw a little bit to go regulate his emotions.
• 4:09
  Oftentimes, you also have to remember that masculine men thrive on challenge in solving problems, and they're not going to dump all their emotions.
• 4:17
  On their women.
• 4:19
  In fact, women don't like it when men dump all of their emotions on them.
• 4:23
  It's funny how a lot of women say, oh, I just wish he was more sensitive and more in tune with his emotions.
• 4:29
  And then when men are in tune with their emotions a little bit too much, it's a total turnoff for women.
• 4:35
  And that's because a lot of the women who say that don't understand the differences between men and women, how our nervous systems respond.
• 4:41
  To conflict how we respond to the world, how masculine energy is different, how feminine energy is different, how polarity even works.
• 4:48
  And what we try and do on this channel is demystify all of that so we can have less conflict in relationships.
• 4:54
  So once again, make sure to subscribe if you are into that kind of content.
• 4:59
  So let's get into what to do when your man starts distancing himself.
• 5:05
  And don't worry, we're gonna get into what healthy distance is versus unhealthy distance.
• 5:11
  So strategy number one is the trust boundary.
• 5:13
  This is for a healthy distance.
• 5:16
  So how do you respond when the distance is healthy?
• 5:19
  Meaning he's kind, but he's just quiet.
• 5:22
  He's just figuring stuff out.
• 5:24
  You set the trust boundary, and this is a boundary against your own anxiety.
• 5:29
  So the strategy is to match his energy, but to stay warm.
• 5:34
  If he steps back 10%, you step back 10%.
• 5:38
  Not to punish him, not as a form of making him do anything but to mirror the dynamic.
• 5:44
  You do not need to ask him, are you okay?
• 5:47
  10 times a day?
• 5:48
  You say it once you say, I'm here if you need me, and then you pivot back to your own life.
• 5:55
  The other thing that you wanna do, because this is true in most cases, is you wanna assume that he's just handling his business and he always comes back to you.
• 6:05
  So when you give him space to process his emotions or process, whatever stress he has going on in his.
• 6:11
  Life without punishing him for it.
• 6:14
  You become his safe place.
• 6:16
  You become what men call a safe place to land.
• 6:20
  When they've been busy working all day long or when they've had a stressful time, he is going to come back from that cave seeking you because.
• 6:29
  You didn't make the stress about you or something that you did, because oftentimes the stress has nothing to do with you.
• 6:38
  And a lot of women and people in general just need to learn when their partners and their spouses are going through stuff.
• 6:45
  So for example, if I know that my husband's going through work stress.
• 6:49
  I'm not making, you know, his distance or him being at the office more, or him, uh, figuring stuff out on his computer.
• 6:58
  I'm not making it mean anything about me.
• 6:59
  I know he's just stressed about work and he's just trying to figure stuff out.
• 7:03
  Strategy number two is the standard boundary.
• 7:06
  So this is for unhealthy distant.
• 7:09
  Now you might be asking, okay, but what if the distance is not healthy?
• 7:13
  What if he's cold?
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  What if he's dismissive?
• 7:16
  Or what if he's leaving you in the dark four days?
• 7:19
  Now, this is where the divine feminine sets a hard boundary.
• 7:23
  We do not accept mystery.
• 7:25
  That feels like disrespect because when a man is creating a healthy distance and he's just regulating himself, he doesn't cut off communication.
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  He doesn't disappear for three days.
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  He doesn't stop doing his routine.
• 7:39
  He just goes a little quiet.
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  That's all that happens.
• 7:42
  That is completely different from a guy who's cold or dismissive or disappears for days or weeks on end.
• 7:51
  That is a very different situation, and that's where we have to put in a boundary.
• 7:55
  So the strategy here is the clarify and release method.
• 7:59
  So you don't chase, you don't beg, you just state your standard calmly.
• 8:02
  So the script for that would be, I've noticed you've been distant.
• 8:06
  I wanna give you space if you need it, but I also need connection.
• 8:09
  Let me know when you're ready to be present and then what do you do?
• 8:12
  You just release it.
• 8:14
  You stop initiating.
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  You stop doing wife duties for a ghost.
• 8:17
  You focus entirely on your joy because an avoidant man will hear that and he will keep running.
• 8:24
  But a healthy masculine man will realize that he's losing your warmth and he will step up to fix it.
• 8:31
  So here's the do not do list When a man starts to pull away, and here's exactly what you want to avoid when his energy is distant.
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  Number one, don't perform happiness, so don't pretend to be happy.
• 8:46
  If you are hurt, be authentic.
• 8:48
  Now, of course, this applies more to the unhealthy level.
• 8:52
  Of distance.
• 8:53
  This applies more to the ghosting, the going cold, the disappearing.
• 8:56
  You don't wanna pretend that you're okay when you are not.
• 9:00
  Number two is do not over function.
• 9:03
  So don't clean his house or cook extra meals to earn his attention back.
• 9:08
  Again, this is if he's being cold or dismissive or disappearing for days because that is a beggar energy, not queen energy.
• 9:18
  And number three is don't abandon yourself because the moment that you stop living your life to wait by the phone for someone who's disappearing on you, you've already lowered your value.
• 9:29
  He can feel the shift in energy.
• 9:32
  And the most attractive thing that you can do in the moments when it's unhealthy distance is be happily busy with your own life.
• 9:39
  In fact, I would venture to say that the most attractive thing you can do, even if he's pulling away in a healthy way because he's just processing something or has a challenge that he is trying to figure out.
• 9:49
  The solution to and goes into his man cave is to be happily busy with your own life.
• 9:54
  Because the mistake that women make is they feel that if a man pulls away.
• 9:59
  A lot of women don't know the difference between healthy pulling away and unhealthy pulling away.
• 10:04
  So what happens is they go into panic mode, and when they go into panic mode, they make all the mistakes that actually kill attraction and make him very annoyed with you and make you.
• 10:15
  Very exhausted.
• 10:17
  So as a result of watching this video, number one, now you know the difference between healthy versus unhealthy pulling away so you know what's going on in your particular situation.
• 10:28
  For those of you who are married to good men, you can basically assume that he's just processing something and he doesn't want to drag you into it because that's usually.
• 10:37
  The case, healthy, masculine men are not dramatic and they don't tend to pull their wives into drama.
• 10:42
  They tend to go solve their problems on their own, like the Hermitage in the tarot.
• 10:47
  So now that you know that, that can already start easing your anxiety, so that's.
• 10:52
  The first part.
• 10:53
  The second part is if it's healthy, you also want to have your own life.
• 10:58
  So for example, like I said, if my husband's going through a lot of work stress or something, and he spends more time in the office, I got my own stuff going on.
• 11:05
  I've got this YouTube channel, I take care of myself, I've got hobbies, and a lot of women have made their entire lives, either their husband or their families.
• 11:15
  So then that anxiety starts to, uh, kick in again because.
• 11:19
  Quite frankly, you've got too much idle time on your hands.
• 11:24
  And our egos, um, they love idle time.
• 11:27
  Idle time is when your ego and your nervous system starts making up a bunch of stories about why everything is wrong and nothing is working, and you're being abandoned and everything is falling apart.
• 11:38
  So what you wanna do is you wanna go build your own life.
• 11:41
  And I talk about this a lot in the high value women transformation program.
• 11:45
  I originally made it for single ladies, but you know what, A lot of the stuff in there also works for married women or married in long-term partnerships because I talk about how do we build this full life.
• 11:57
  I also talk about how do we express ourselves in a more feminine way so that if you are hurt for whatever reason, um, or you have some sort of conflict going on, you know how to respond in those situations in a more feminine way.
• 12:13
  So I want you to remember that distance is a magnifying glass.
• 12:16
  It either shows you his emotional maturity because he's going to go regulate his nervous system and he's not going to emotionally vomit all over his wife.
• 12:25
  Or if it's unhealthy distance, and I already explained what that looks like.
• 12:30
  It shows his inability to.
• 12:33
  Either way, you have your answer and your power is not enforcing him to become close to you.
• 12:41
  Your power isn't staying so anchored and so regulated in your own worth that you are okay whether he is near or far.
• 12:50
  And when you get to that space, it makes you very magnetic.
• 12:54
  It's when husbands fall in love with their wives again.
• 12:56
  It's when, um, women who are dating, like they've got men coming at them all the time.
• 13:02
  So if this resonated, make sure to give this video a like, and tell me in the comments, does his silence trigger your anxiety?
• 13:10
  Let's talk about it below.
• 13:11
  Once again, thank you so much for giving me your time today, and I'll catch you on the next one.