Latest / Ambitious Podcast / EP. 55 The HIDDEN Signs of Perfectionism and How it's KILLING Your Progress | The Ambitious Podcast

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EP. 55 The HIDDEN Signs of Perfectionism and How it's KILLING Your Progress | The Ambitious Podcast · Ambitious Podcast

• 0:08
  Hello and welcome back to Ambitious.
• 0:10
  I am very excited to have you here today because if you have
• 0:13
  press play on today's episode, you are somebody who most likely
• 0:18
  either perceives that you may be struggling with perfectionism or
• 0:21
  you may know for a fact that this is something that you
• 0:24
  struggle with. And I want to let you know,
• 0:25
  first and foremost, you're not alone.
• 0:28
  I am also somebody at times who has struggled a lot with
• 0:31
  perfectionism and I will say helping myself to process
• 0:36
  through where perfectionism comes from.
• 0:40
  What are the different ways that that shows up in our businesses
• 0:42
  and in our life? What is the impact of that?
• 0:45
  How do we rewire that? And my own learning around all
• 0:48
  of those things was actually something that really greatly
• 0:51
  impacted me. Being able to scale my business
• 0:53
  as fast as I did because I realized that my perfectionism
• 0:57
  was actually the thing that was pushing off my success.
• 1:01
  It was making my progress stagnant.
• 1:03
  It was pushing me away from taking action and the speed that
• 1:06
  I could. And so I want to 1st acknowledge
• 1:09
  you for being here and thank you so much for listening.
• 1:11
  And if you are someone new who's listening to ambitious for the
• 1:13
  first time, welcome to the ambitious family.
• 1:16
  I'm excited to have you here. And also for you, O GS and you
• 1:19
  know who you are who listen to this every single week.
• 1:22
  I want to say thank you because this podcast would not be what
• 1:26
  it is without you and all of the insights and awarenesses and
• 1:30
  feedback and all the things that you bring along the way.
• 1:32
  So thank you. I, to start off, really want to
• 1:36
  get an understanding for all of us as a baseline, when we use
• 1:39
  this word of perfectionism, what does that actually mean?
• 1:42
  So if we are somebody who is struggling with perfectionism,
• 1:46
  whether in our life or in our business, what is that?
• 1:49
  So I'm going to literally define this for you.
• 1:51
  And this is not just my personal definition.
• 1:52
  This is literally the definition for perfectionism.
• 1:56
  And what this is so perfectionism is the tendency to
• 1:58
  set excessively high standards for yourself and to strive for
• 2:02
  flawlessness. Often that is accompanied by by
• 2:05
  critical self evaluation, which I'm also like OK now I'm
• 2:09
  triggered now, now I see myself already OK.
• 2:12
  It involves fear of making mistakes, a desire for control
• 2:15
  and a strong emphasis on achieving perfect results in
• 2:19
  every aspect of your life. This can be work, appearance,
• 2:22
  relationships, all different buckets.
• 2:25
  Most importantly, perfectionism can lead to self stress,
• 2:28
  criticism and dissatisfaction. Especially when we have
• 2:31
  standards and those things are not met.
• 2:34
  So I want to 1st define because we're going to use the word
• 2:37
  perfectionism quite a lot in today's episode.
• 2:40
  And so I want to kind of get an understanding of, OK, what is
• 2:42
  that? Is this strive for frankly,
• 2:45
  something that doesn't exist? Because the other thing that was
• 2:48
  a big awareness for me and understanding and in learning
• 2:50
  about perfectionism was also recognizing that perfectionism
• 2:55
  also assumes that there is a defined perfect.
• 2:59
  And what I know from myself and also from all the businesses
• 3:02
  that I've helped and that I've worked with is that it's kind of
• 3:05
  like that classic quote, right? Of beauty is in the eye of the
• 3:07
  beholder. The same thing is true when it
• 3:10
  comes to perfect. You know, how do we know that
• 3:12
  something really is perfectly done?
• 3:14
  How do we know that it's perfectly complete?
• 3:17
  How is there any way for us to actually know that?
• 3:19
  And all of it is based off of our own internal standards,
• 3:23
  which for many of us are very, very high.
• 3:26
  So if you struggle with perfectionism, the thing that I
• 3:29
  know from first hand experience, as well as from all the
• 3:32
  businesses that I help is that this is going to show up in your
• 3:35
  world in a variety of ways. And so if you're maybe like, do
• 3:38
  I struggle with perfectionism? Maybe I just have high standards
• 3:42
  for the work that I do, where maybe I just really care about
• 3:44
  my work. These are all things that we
• 3:46
  say. How do we know if we're actually
• 3:48
  someone who's struggling with perfectionism in our life and in
• 3:51
  our business? And so I'm going to give you
• 3:53
  some signs, signs that maybe are going to help you to better
• 3:56
  understand, you know, maybe this is something that's very
• 3:59
  relevant in your life and something you want to dive more
• 4:01
  into. So one of the things that I see
• 4:04
  with a lot of business owners is when they struggle with
• 4:06
  perfectionism, they are someone who really obsesses about over
• 4:11
  planning. Like they are somebody who is
• 4:13
  all about refining the details, planning, conceptualizing, you
• 4:18
  know, thinking about all the things that could go wrong,
• 4:21
  making a plan for those. If you are somebody who's
• 4:24
  constantly in planning mode and you're trying to plan out all
• 4:28
  the mistakes and plan out every single detail, it really usually
• 4:32
  leads people because they're planning so much to actually not
• 4:35
  necessarily take action. So it could be something like
• 4:39
  truthfully, if I'm being transparent, this podcast, when
• 4:42
  I first had the idea for this podcast, I was in planning mode.
• 4:46
  I was like, what's the curtain I want to have behind me?
• 4:49
  What's the chair that I want to sit in?
• 4:51
  What's the microphone that I want to use?
• 4:53
  What's the cover art? And I started to go down this
• 4:55
  list of like 52 different things that I needed to have sorted out
• 5:00
  before I could quote UN quote launch.
• 5:01
  And, you know, you've heard me talk about this in other
• 5:04
  episodes. One of my biggest regrets was
• 5:07
  actually not starting this podcast earlier because I
• 5:09
  recognized that my procrastination on launching
• 5:13
  this podcast was really not about anything other than the
• 5:17
  fact that I was really fearing that if I pressed go on it and
• 5:20
  launched it and released it to the world, it wasn't going to be
• 5:23
  perfect and it wasn't going to be something that I would be
• 5:26
  comfortable to stand behind. And so because of that, what it
• 5:30
  led me to do is to to not do it right.
• 5:32
  It led me to push it away and away.
• 5:34
  And like, I literally had this idea for like 2 years, but I
• 5:38
  told myself I need to plan what are the guests?
• 5:41
  How do I want to interview? What's the intro?
• 5:43
  And frankly, hid in the details because that was a way for me to
• 5:48
  have it be perfect by having to flush out all these pieces
• 5:50
  before I press go. So one of the signs that will
• 5:53
  happen is that you're over planning.
• 5:55
  You're constantly conceptualizing and often times
• 5:57
  it means that you're pushing off deadlines, pushing off due dates
• 6:01
  that offer you had the idea of it's not quite done yet, so I'm
• 6:04
  going to wait another month to launch it.
• 6:06
  You're pushing away the deadlines and due dates because
• 6:09
  you feel like you need to plan a little bit more.
• 6:11
  And ultimately it leads you to avoiding action. 2nd is the fear
• 6:16
  of failure. You are someone who really does
• 6:18
  not like the idea of risk. Like you're somebody who doesn't
• 6:22
  necessarily like the idea of, you know, your action that
• 6:25
  you're taking not working or that it's not going to help you
• 6:28
  to grow if it's not done. Like you don't want to risk
• 6:31
  releasing something to the world or you don't want to risk taking
• 6:34
  an action that you don't feel like you have almost like 98%
• 6:38
  probability that you're going to crush at.
• 6:41
  And really what that comes down to when we're like, Oh no, like
• 6:43
  I have to do this, this, this before I press go, what that is,
• 6:47
  is a fear of failure. It's this fear of if I release
• 6:50
  this to the world or if I take this action and it's not
• 6:53
  perfect, or if I don't make this resource or this marketing or
• 6:56
  this, this offer or whatever it might be completely perfect and
• 7:00
  I release it, it may not do well.
• 7:02
  And it not doing well really means that you would have to
• 7:05
  navigate it not hitting the outcome that you desire, which
• 7:08
  will bring up this fear of failure.
• 7:11
  So fear of failure can be a really big sign of like, well,
• 7:16
  what if this happens? What if that happens?
• 7:18
  I have to fix it. I have to work on it a little
• 7:20
  bit more. Those are signs that you are not
• 7:23
  comfortable or OK with the task that you're working on or the
• 7:28
  thing that you're putting energy into not doing well.
• 7:30
  And that really comes down to fear a failure.
• 7:32
  Also micromanaging, feeling the need to control everything.
• 7:36
  I see this a lot with people who have teams.
• 7:39
  You will see people who have teams who literally have three,
• 7:42
  sometimes 5 people on their team.
• 7:45
  But because they struggle so much with perfectionism, they
• 7:49
  micromanage the crap out of every single person, every
• 7:53
  process, every project, because they believe that by them being
• 7:57
  involved, they can again protect the outcome and they can be the
• 8:01
  reason that it will not fail and everything will look exactly how
• 8:04
  it's supposed to be. And it leads to a lot of
• 8:07
  micromanagement. It leads to basically having
• 8:10
  yourself involved in every piece of the puzzle because without
• 8:13
  that, you fear what's going to happen.
• 8:15
  It's not going to be quote UN quote perfect.
• 8:17
  Or when someone does get delegated the work.
• 8:20
  So you might again have hired somebody for even, not even on
• 8:23
  your team, but just like to a project, say you hire someone to
• 8:27
  do your website or you hire someone to do designs for you
• 8:31
  revisions. This is a really good indicator
• 8:34
  to know the level of relationship that you have when
• 8:37
  it comes to perfectionism. Because if you are delegating a
• 8:41
  project to somebody and you're asking for 891012 revisions or
• 8:46
  even like let's just say a design for Instagram, you get it
• 8:48
  back from a designer and you say I want it revised 4 times after
• 8:52
  the second time. We're getting into perfect
• 8:55
  territory because it means that we're looking to nitpick so much
• 9:00
  and edit so much that we just can't fathom this going out
• 9:04
  without another revision, another revision.
• 9:06
  There's always something to change, which is why there's
• 9:08
  always so many revisions. So when you constantly revising
• 9:12
  work, it's because you don't feel like anything is ever good
• 9:16
  enough. It's this belief that it's
• 9:18
  always going to lead to a place where there could be something
• 9:21
  else to be done. And because of those revisions,
• 9:23
  as I said earlier, with delaying timelines, this is ultimately
• 9:27
  going to lead to a massive inefficiency in your business.
• 9:30
  Because the post, let's just say for a design, as we said, that
• 9:34
  should have taken 2 revisions is now taking four.
• 9:37
  And that means if it had been two, we could have created two
• 9:41
  different posts in the same amount of time that you took to
• 9:43
  make one perfectly. And this actually came up
• 9:45
  recently in my business because I had someone who made a montage
• 9:49
  for me of one of our retreats that we did.
• 9:52
  And they sent it to me. And I was like, I don't like
• 9:54
  this and I don't like that. And I started to nitpick it.
• 9:56
  We got to the third version. And I remember like a peer of
• 9:59
  mine who has a very large business said, Kate, I'm just
• 10:02
  going to be really direct with you.
• 10:04
  It literally doesn't matter the things that you're so focused on
• 10:08
  and that you're nitpicking about the the text or the editing or
• 10:11
  the transition or like the song triumph hitting this point and
• 10:15
  then the clip hitting that point.
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  It literally doesn't matter. It does not matter.
• 10:19
  Release it to the world. You can revise it later.
• 10:21
  The retreat you're talking about is not for months to come.
• 10:23
  It literally doesn't matter. And it was such like a like for
• 10:27
  me, unnecessary, like hit over the head with reality because I
• 10:31
  realized that I was revising and revising revising because to me,
• 10:36
  there was still more that could always be done.
• 10:38
  It wasn't good enough, it wasn't good enough.
• 10:40
  It needed to be more, more, more.
• 10:41
  And frankly, I didn't even have a destination of what quote UN
• 10:45
  quote complete was going to be, which is why there was always
• 10:48
  more revisions to happen. So asking yourself, you know,
• 10:51
  are there constant revisions to work?
• 10:53
  But do you feel like nothing that anyone ever brings you ever
• 10:57
  can be done in a, in a reasonable amount of revisions?
• 11:00
  There's always so much to be done.
• 11:01
  And it's an opportunity for us to look into the mirror and say,
• 11:05
  OK, well, are you really seeing that it's genuinely not good
• 11:09
  work? Or are you nitpicking each
• 11:12
  little individual detail because frankly, transparently nothing
• 11:15
  is going to be good enough, right?
• 11:17
  Also with this, because of the revisions and because of wanting
• 11:21
  to micromanage, you probably also feel like you can't
• 11:24
  delegate like anything you want to hire someone for, you're
• 11:27
  like, I'll just do it myself. The amount of times that I hear
• 11:32
  I will just do it myself and people not wanting to delegate
• 11:36
  because other people just like quote UN quote don't get it.
• 11:39
  I tell clients very directly, your business is only as
• 11:43
  scalable as what you can teach others to do.
• 11:47
  So if you with your perfectionist perspective and
• 11:50
  you see all these amazing things that you can't teach anyone else
• 11:53
  to see and you just have the quote UN quote eye for it or the
• 11:57
  brain for it. If that's something that is
• 11:59
  keeping you from being able to delegate in your business,
• 12:01
  really you're capping your own success.
• 12:03
  You're capping your own scaling because the ability to delegate
• 12:07
  in your business is, whether in house and having your own team
• 12:10
  or outsourcing to an agency or a contractor or someone outside of
• 12:14
  your current structure, it doesn't matter.
• 12:17
  Your ability to delegate something to another person is
• 12:22
  really going to determine how fast and how easy you scale.
• 12:27
  And if you are so focused on, no one can do it like me.
• 12:30
  No one sees what I see. No one thinks the way I think.
• 12:33
  And that is a narrative that you have that's rooted in
• 12:37
  perfectionism. It's rooted in this belief that
• 12:40
  there is only this specific vision and set of things that
• 12:44
  you can see and no one else can. So as a result, you cannot
• 12:46
  delegate. And I always catch people on
• 12:49
  this wording of like, I can't give this away.
• 12:51
  And those absolute types of language, because when we have
• 12:54
  that absolute type of language, what's happening is we're
• 12:57
  already deciding in our brain that we can't give us away.
• 13:00
  There's no possibility that someone else could.
• 13:03
  And so when someone says I can't, I'm like, OK, well
• 13:05
  instead, can we ask the question, how could I delegate
• 13:09
  this? How could I teach someone else
• 13:11
  to know how to look for what I'm looking for?
• 13:14
  So when you can't delegate, this is a really good opportunity to
• 13:17
  say, is it that you can't delegate?
• 13:19
  Or could you delegate, but you refuse to because you don't feel
• 13:24
  in your mindset or perspective of perfectionism that anyone can
• 13:28
  do what you do because it's so unique and individualized to
• 13:30
  you? Because you can't delegate.
• 13:33
  I'm gonna tell you right now, you're gonna experience because
• 13:35
  of perfectionism, tons of chronic stress and tons of
• 13:39
  burnout because you are constantly pushing for more.
• 13:44
  This kind of like moving target all the time of it could be
• 13:48
  better, it could be more refined, it could be better
• 13:51
  quality, it could hit more, whatever The thing is that
• 13:54
  you're looking at. And because of that, you always
• 13:57
  feel like if you just push yourself a little bit more, it
• 14:00
  will hit that target. But what we don't often
• 14:03
  recognize is that's a moving target, right?
• 14:07
  Like it hitting this mark that you're looking for it to hit is
• 14:11
  constantly moving. So what that leads to is
• 14:13
  constantly putting in more hours, constantly putting in
• 14:16
  more work and constantly feeling like it's never finished.
• 14:21
  And what do we know about work that feels like it's never
• 14:24
  finished? And yet we continue to dive in.
• 14:26
  Guess what? Hello burnout, hello, no
• 14:29
  self-care. Hello.
• 14:30
  The hours have doubled in the business, right?
• 14:33
  And so when we look at those who struggle with perfectionism, we
• 14:38
  look at burnout and stress being one of the key indicators that
• 14:41
  there's something here that is obviously a mess.
• 14:43
  And as I said, I'm not teaching this from like, I'm up here and
• 14:46
  you're down here. I am saying a lot of this from a
• 14:50
  place of like experience and a place of being so stressed and
• 14:54
  burnt out. Like I remember vividly, I, I
• 14:58
  was editing like a Canva document or something.
• 15:01
  And I remember going into this Canva doc and like editing the
• 15:05
  design that someone had done for me.
• 15:07
  And at this point I was, I was a 7 figure business owner.
• 15:10
  So I remember it was like 8:00 at night.
• 15:13
  I justified it to myself. I'm like, OK, I'm going to sit
• 15:15
  in my office on one of my monitors.
• 15:17
  I'm going to put on YouTube and like put on some, you know, show
• 15:20
  or something in the background or a video.
• 15:22
  And then on the other side, I'm going to edit this document.
• 15:26
  Guys, I was a 7 figure business owner and I'm sitting in Canva
• 15:29
  editing this thing because it just doesn't look the way that I
• 15:32
  want it to look. That document in the amount of
• 15:37
  hours I put in and what it generated for us was definitely
• 15:41
  ROI negative. IE putting in five hours into
• 15:44
  editing this Canva dog really did not make a single blip of
• 15:47
  change within our business. And yet I was five hours less of
• 15:50
  self-care, 5 hours less of pouring into my own cup, and
• 15:54
  frankly, 5 hours less of efficiency because I had just
• 15:57
  put time in believing like this is what I needed to do because
• 16:00
  in my mind, it had to be perfect.
• 16:03
  So it really ultimately leads to as well, another core sign being
• 16:10
  overthinking decisions and getting stuck in constant
• 16:14
  paralysis of navigating what about this and what about this.
• 16:19
  And this is a big one I see with a lot of my clients who come to
• 16:22
  me and we start coaching together because they'll,
• 16:25
  they'll come and they'll, they'll have an idea for, let's
• 16:28
  just say an offer or they want to launch something and they're
• 16:31
  like, well, what about this? And what about that?
• 16:32
  And also like, quick question, what about this?
• 16:34
  Like, what should I price it at? And like, at this point, like
• 16:36
  what should the messaging be? And like, do you think that
• 16:38
  people have hit with this messaging or that messaging?
• 16:40
  Or do you think that maybe I should put this on the sales
• 16:43
  page like above or below? And I'm like, hey, first of all,
• 16:46
  take a breath. Take a breath.
• 16:48
  Because the questions you're asking are not strategic
• 16:52
  questions. They're frankly safety
• 16:55
  questions, which means you don't feel safe to make a move in your
• 16:58
  business because you fear every choice that you're making.
• 17:01
  You fear the choice of the branding, you fear the choice of
• 17:04
  the offer, you fear the choice of the price point, you fear the
• 17:08
  choice of the messaging. And people who struggle with
• 17:11
  perfectionism are often people who nitpick and ask questions
• 17:15
  about every little tiny piece because they're so focused on
• 17:18
  all those little pieces that they can't see the big picture.
• 17:22
  So they believe that by asking all these questions and having
• 17:26
  like analysis paralysis and thinking of every alternative
• 17:30
  situation, that that's going to be the thing that allows
• 17:33
  whatever they're working on to be perfect and therefore to be
• 17:36
  successful. But what it really is is that
• 17:39
  you're overthinking. And you end up in this cycle
• 17:42
  loop of just overthinking things that nine times out of 10, I can
• 17:45
  tell you as a business owner and as a coach are not going to even
• 17:48
  make a difference in the success of what you're doing.
• 17:52
  So as part of this, something that also you'll see, and as
• 17:56
  another sign is that even in these conversations, people
• 17:59
  struggle with feedback, they struggle with criticism, they
• 18:04
  struggle with, you know, if I put this out well, what if I
• 18:08
  launch and it doesn't do well? Or what if I put this podcast
• 18:11
  out and people don't think that it's, it's good quality?
• 18:13
  Or what if I what if I do X and this happens and they struggle
• 18:19
  with having the potential to do something and it not doing well?
• 18:24
  Like they can't fathom what that would look like.
• 18:26
  It feels like something that is so scary and so overwhelming to
• 18:31
  them that they try again to go back into analysis paralysis or
• 18:35
  going into nitpicking because they can't imagine not being
• 18:39
  praised. They can't imagine whatever
• 18:41
  their vision is not hitting certain expectations.
• 18:45
  And so oftentimes because of that, this also leads to
• 18:49
  impostor syndrome because there's this belief that you
• 18:52
  feel like a fraud or you feel like you're undeserving of
• 18:55
  success even when you achieve goals because there's still more
• 19:00
  to be done. It could have been better.
• 19:01
  It could have sold faster. It could have hit and, you know,
• 19:05
  gone more viral. It could have achieved more.
• 19:08
  I could have signed more clients.
• 19:09
  There's always this unfinished nature.
• 19:12
  And because of that, there's very rarely a lack of
• 19:16
  acknowledgement of what you've achieved.
• 19:18
  So even when you've achieved really big goals and you've
• 19:21
  achieved things that you've set out to do, you give it 5 seconds
• 19:25
  and before you know it, you're like, OK, great.
• 19:28
  Well, but I didn't do blank the amount of entrepreneurs that I
• 19:33
  talked to who hit goals and hit achievements.
• 19:36
  Let's just say again, like, you know, surface level thing, but
• 19:40
  like they hit $100,000 month and they're like, yeah, but like I
• 19:44
  really was going for 1:20. You just hit your first $100,000
• 19:49
  month and you're going to come back to me with feedback to say,
• 19:52
  yeah, but it wasn't 120. Like it's, it's really this
• 19:57
  perspective and mindset of perfect and this perspective and
• 20:01
  mindset of it's never finished. Is such a loop that we will
• 20:06
  recycle over and over if we're not careful because it means
• 20:10
  that you're never finished. And because you're never
• 20:11
  finished, you're never going to create momentum in your business
• 20:14
  because you won't acknowledge a milestone.
• 20:17
  You won't acknowledge achievement in any fashion.
• 20:20
  It's only perfect or I didn't hit it at all.
• 20:22
  I'm never happy with it unless it's perfect.
• 20:25
  And as we talked about earlier, that perfect milestone is
• 20:28
  forever changing and moving. And listen, as I said, this is
• 20:32
  not, I'm not preaching to you off my high horse over here, OK?
• 20:35
  Like I am somebody who myself has struggled with
• 20:38
  perfectionism. I've struggled with this.
• 20:40
  And it's something I'm aware of that I'm constantly trying to
• 20:43
  work through and address in my own business.
• 20:45
  And I want to just normalize this because 50% of
• 20:48
  entrepreneurs are known to exhibit perfectionist tendencies
• 20:53
  compared to the 3040% that the average population has.
• 20:56
  So if you're not an entrepreneur and you're somebody who maybe
• 20:59
  works in corporate or you don't have your own business, most of
• 21:03
  society has about 30 to 40% of them that feel and experience
• 21:07
  perfectionism on a daily basis. Whereas with entrepreneurs, it's
• 21:12
  say compared to 3020% higher in entrepreneurs.
• 21:16
  Because I feel like what this means to me and what I decipher
• 21:20
  from this, entrepreneurs are very attached to their business,
• 21:24
  right? You often probably tell yourself
• 21:26
  things like, yeah, but this is my baby.
• 21:27
  Like, this is my my thing. This is like my bread and
• 21:30
  butter. This is the thing that I
• 21:31
  created. And because this is your baby
• 21:35
  and because it's something you've poured so much into, you
• 21:38
  want to see it succeed. You care a lot about it.
• 21:42
  But it's really taking that care and saying, is US caring about
• 21:46
  our business really shifting into controlling it so much out
• 21:50
  of this belief that it's rooted in care.
• 21:54
  So another stat showed entrepreneurs are 50% more
• 21:57
  likely to experience mental health issues as a result of
• 22:02
  perfectionism compared to non entrepreneurs. 50 percent, 50%
• 22:07
  more likely to experience mental health issues connected to
• 22:11
  perfectionism than non entrepreneurs.
• 22:14
  OK And 30 to 40% of entrepreneurs have reported
• 22:18
  perfectionism being the leading source of their burnout and
• 22:21
  stress. OK 3040% of entrepreneurs have
• 22:26
  indicated that perfectionism was the source that led to their
• 22:30
  burnout and their stress. And this is the one that I found
• 22:32
  very interesting. Female entrepreneurs are 1.5
• 22:37
  times more likely to struggle with perfectionism than men.
• 22:45
  Female entrepreneurs are 1.5 times more likely to struggle
• 22:50
  with perfectionism than men than male entrepreneurs.
• 22:54
  So This is why, you know, you guys obviously know that I nerd
• 22:57
  out on a lot of the topics we talked about on Ambitious.
• 22:59
  And This is why is because when I saw these stats of like 50%
• 23:04
  more likely to experience this than others, we're seeing, you
• 23:09
  know, 1.5 times more likely to experience perfectionism in
• 23:13
  women versus men. Like this is something that we
• 23:15
  as female entrepreneurs are struggling with.
• 23:19
  This is something that many of us are navigating.
• 23:21
  You are not alone if you feel like you're constantly
• 23:24
  struggling with perfectionism. So then I asked myself the
• 23:27
  question, OK, well, obviously we now know what perfectionism is.
• 23:33
  We know how this shows up in our businesses and we know it's very
• 23:37
  relevant. It's very, very prevalent
• 23:39
  amongst us as well as our peers. So the question becomes, where
• 23:44
  does it come from? Like what?
• 23:45
  Why do we have this? Why do we feel such
• 23:48
  perfectionism? Why do we struggle with this?
• 23:50
  And there's a couple different areas that this comes from and
• 23:53
  how this is rooted in US or where this exists from.
• 23:57
  One of the first and foremost in me doing a lot of research on
• 24:01
  perfectionism came from the fact that this came from early
• 24:04
  childhood of when we were younger, as well as our
• 24:07
  parenting. Because if you grew up in a
• 24:10
  household where you had very high expectations of you and you
• 24:14
  were often criticized by your parents, you ultimately as a
• 24:18
  child internalized those standards.
• 24:22
  And it often will lead you to believing that you need to be
• 24:27
  flawless or you need to achieve something specific in order to
• 24:32
  receive approval or love from your family or from your
• 24:36
  parents. And as I say this, I want to say
• 24:38
  that, you know, I talked about this with one of my, my friends
• 24:41
  who's an entrepreneur, female entrepreneur, and she was saying
• 24:45
  how she grew up in an Arabic household.
• 24:47
  And in their household, there was a massive, massive emphasis
• 24:52
  on achievement. And like, it wasn't just about
• 24:54
  getting a job. It was about getting a specific
• 24:57
  job. And it wasn't about, you know,
• 24:59
  going to a school. It was about going to a specific
• 25:02
  school. And it wasn't about getting good
• 25:04
  grades. It was about getting a specific
• 25:06
  grade. And it wasn't about, you know,
• 25:08
  taking care of your appearance. It was about having a very
• 25:10
  specific appearance. And you know, as I'm saying
• 25:13
  this, you might be thinking back on your childhood and thinking
• 25:16
  about your mom or your dad and you know, the way that they may
• 25:21
  have brought you up with certain beliefs or certain things that
• 25:24
  you were told with a quote, UN quote right way.
• 25:27
  And as I say this, I want to say that this is, is not to say that
• 25:32
  our parents did so out of ill intent.
• 25:35
  I think every parent is parenting for the first time.
• 25:38
  And so because of that, they oftentimes are just doing their
• 25:42
  best to try to coach or try to lead their their kids, IE you or
• 25:46
  me, to do so from a place of just helping them to achieve
• 25:51
  like their best life. Often times is where the
• 25:54
  intention comes from. Not always, but often times it's
• 25:57
  where the intention or their heart comes from.
• 25:59
  And I think what often we don't recognize is that sometimes
• 26:03
  maybe our perfectionism is not actually ours.
• 26:07
  Maybe the reason that you're wanting things to look a certain
• 26:11
  polished way is not because you care about it looking a polished
• 26:15
  way, but more because when you would go to see friends or
• 26:18
  family or you would go to events as a child, your parents would
• 26:22
  ask you to put on a specific dress or do your hair a certain
• 26:24
  way. Your aspect of wanting to look a
• 26:27
  certain way before you show up may have nothing to do with just
• 26:30
  you or lack of confidence or any of those things.
• 26:33
  And it may have everything to do with what your parents told you
• 26:36
  was the quote UN quote right way.
• 26:38
  And even money. Right.
• 26:40
  Like there's an aspect to with being an entrepreneur of
• 26:43
  financial success. And I just had a conversation
• 26:45
  with someone the other day and they were saying, you know, I
• 26:48
  realized that my pushing for more numbers and more money
• 26:52
  wasn't necessarily even me and me wanting to hit this very
• 26:56
  specific perfect number. But it actually was rooted in
• 27:00
  the fact that my dad told me that I wasn't successful until I
• 27:03
  hit a certain number. So them pushing in their
• 27:06
  business and working more and working harder or longer hours
• 27:10
  was not because they wanted to. It was because they genuinely
• 27:13
  believed to their core as their truth that if they did not hit a
• 27:18
  very specific number in their business, there was more work to
• 27:21
  be done. We weren't finished here and we
• 27:23
  had to keep going. So our childhood shapes so much
• 27:29
  of our belief systems, our values, the way we make
• 27:32
  decisions, what we believe to be true.
• 27:35
  And so when you're struggling with perfectionism in your
• 27:37
  business, instead of beating yourself up and saying, you
• 27:40
  know, well, this is something that I'm navigating, could we
• 27:43
  instead look to get curious? Could we get curious about where
• 27:48
  did this come from? What did my dad tell me was the
• 27:51
  right thing? What did my mom bring me up with
• 27:54
  as beliefs? What was considered quote UN
• 27:57
  quote, normal or desired as specific outcomes or achievement
• 28:01
  in our household? How were we brought up to
• 28:04
  believe we were to be successful?
• 28:06
  What did we believe to be true when it comes to success or
• 28:09
  achievement? Those are questions you can ask
• 28:11
  yourself to dive deeper into like where does this
• 28:14
  perfectionism I'm experiencing even come from?
• 28:17
  And I think this also another big impact of this is the social
• 28:21
  or the cultural influence of perfectionism, right?
• 28:24
  And you know, an example that everyone will understand is even
• 28:27
  when we think about, you know, on TikTok, right?
• 28:29
  They had these like aesthetic girl blogs.
• 28:31
  And the aesthetic girl vlogs, while, you know, it's just a
• 28:35
  very easy example, is really a case study of this societal or
• 28:40
  social or cultural impact. Because the aesthetic girl
• 28:44
  lifestyle basically created this perception of what a perfect
• 28:51
  life looks like or a perfect day looks like, or clean girl
• 28:55
  aesthetic, having the perfect, you know, look of a certain way
• 28:58
  that you look or present and what that looks like.
• 29:01
  And So what this does is it basically through social media
• 29:06
  has put this emphasis on perfectionism in either our
• 29:11
  life, our home, our business, even our appearance.
• 29:15
  Like, I'll be, you know, really honest.
• 29:17
  I think even with the rise of plastic surgery, the rise of
• 29:22
  filler and things like that, again, and I'm not saying that
• 29:25
  that's right or wrong, like I've had filler.
• 29:27
  So I'm not someone who's saying that this is a good or a bad
• 29:30
  thing. There's no right or wrong in any
• 29:32
  of it. But I think it's just having the
• 29:34
  awareness. It's understanding that if you
• 29:37
  are deciding that you want to look a certain way, you want to
• 29:39
  have a certain life or you want to, and again, a business
• 29:42
  example, create a certain piece of content and it has to look
• 29:45
  aesthetic says who? Where does that come from?
• 29:48
  And if you should decide that you want it to look a certain
• 29:51
  way, that's fine, But we should also acknowledge that is that
• 29:55
  yours? Is that your desire, IE back to,
• 29:58
  you know, our, say, plastic surgery or filler example, maybe
• 30:02
  you at your core genuinely have a part of you that you would
• 30:06
  want to change and it has nothing to do with anything
• 30:08
  you've seen on social media. It's something you've felt in
• 30:11
  your heart since you were young. I have a friend of mine who when
• 30:14
  she was younger, I'm always actually too sure the term for
• 30:16
  it is, but her ears were popped out to the side when she was
• 30:19
  younger and were more pronounced.
• 30:21
  And I remember she was saying it was something that was an
• 30:23
  insecurity of hers. And so when she was younger, she
• 30:26
  had them pinned as part of a surgery.
• 30:29
  But like, that was because it completely changed how she felt.
• 30:32
  She's talked about it. It changed how she felt about
• 30:34
  herself. It changed how she presented.
• 30:36
  It changed how she was able to go through her day.
• 30:40
  It was for her. It wasn't for anybody else.
• 30:43
  But there's an acknowledgement we have to have in our business
• 30:46
  and in being, especially for those who are personal brands,
• 30:49
  to say, am I showing up in such a way because I believe that
• 30:54
  social media has told me this is how I'm supposed to show up?
• 30:57
  Or am I doing so out of a place because that's how I desire to
• 31:00
  show up, that's how I desire to present.
• 31:03
  It's not because social media has told me it's perfect.
• 31:06
  It's because I really feel for me that this is what feels best.
• 31:11
  So I think it's acknowledging that a lot of the programming we
• 31:14
  get could be from our upbringing, but also from
• 31:16
  society and culture telling us what perfect is day in, day out.
• 31:21
  And social media is a massive culprit for that.
• 31:24
  And also this aspect of to be honest, as we talked about fear
• 31:29
  of failure, right? Like we may have this perception
• 31:34
  of fear of failure. And so because of that, we see
• 31:37
  making a mistake as catastrophic.
• 31:39
  So when we have that belief about making a mistake, what
• 31:43
  happens, we end up avoiding that at all costs.
• 31:45
  We feel like we don't want to take a risk.
• 31:47
  We don't want to take big moves because it could not work out.
• 31:51
  And what that does is it ultimately stunts our growth.
• 31:54
  And another big, you know, indicator, in my opinion, of
• 31:59
  like where this comes from is it could be from your upbringing,
• 32:02
  it could be from society and culture.
• 32:04
  It could be from the sphere of failures we talked about, but
• 32:06
  also from, frankly, if I'm going to be candid about it, low self
• 32:11
  worth and low self esteem. And I will speak from myself.
• 32:18
  I feel like even for me when I was creating our brand to be
• 32:22
  very lux and very refined, I don't know that it was as much
• 32:29
  from this belief of like, I actually desire to be a luxury
• 32:33
  brand because I wouldn't say that my day-to-day is very lux.
• 32:36
  But I don't know that I created it from, you know, the fact that
• 32:39
  my actual life was luxurious. As much as I think there was a
• 32:43
  lot of it that had to do with me having a very low self worth.
• 32:48
  I had to do a lot of work in the last year.
• 32:51
  I'm gonna be honest, because I kind of lost myself in business
• 32:56
  a little bit because I, I got wrapped up in what it was
• 32:58
  supposed to look like. And thinking that I couldn't
• 33:01
  show up a certain way on social media because I wouldn't be
• 33:04
  deemed to be professional or people wouldn't respect me or,
• 33:07
  you know, that people wouldn't want to invest with me if I was
• 33:10
  showing up a certain way. And really what it came down to
• 33:14
  was that I believed that my value to other people came from
• 33:20
  the way that I was showing up. It came from the way that I
• 33:22
  presented myself. And that was something that I
• 33:25
  had to unpack because I was like, I can't sustainably do
• 33:30
  this business. I can't sustainably build this
• 33:33
  and show up each day unless I rewrite this narrative that I
• 33:37
  have inside of me. And so another one that I see
• 33:40
  with low self worth or low self esteem and a big, big, big one
• 33:44
  for businesses is financial milestones.
• 33:47
  The amount of business owners that truthfully, I just have so
• 33:51
  much compassion for. And I just empathize because
• 33:54
  when I watch their marketing and their entire identity is how
• 33:58
  much money they make. You know, there's multiple
• 34:01
  lenses we can take from this. It could be from the marketing
• 34:03
  lens or you know, whatever. But at the end of the day, what
• 34:06
  I feel about that is it shows to me a lack of self worth.
• 34:12
  Because the thing that I, I acknowledge when someone feels
• 34:15
  like they have to constantly talk, and I'm not saying that
• 34:19
  it's bad, you can share how much money you make.
• 34:21
  There's nothing wrong with that. But when it becomes the all day,
• 34:26
  everyday basis of what you market or the basis of how you
• 34:29
  show up or the basis of how you deem your value, IE like if
• 34:33
  every conversation we're having as business owners comes back to
• 34:37
  how much money you're making, All that tells me at that table
• 34:41
  is that yourself worth is entirely directly connected to
• 34:45
  how much money you make. And that tells me that you don't
• 34:48
  have any self worth, that you have no self esteem because the
• 34:51
  business owners that I know that are wildly successful don't tell
• 34:56
  people every other conversation about how much money they're
• 34:59
  making. Often times you'll be sitting
• 35:01
  beside them. And this actually happened at an
• 35:02
  event I went to a a marketing event and I was sitting beside
• 35:07
  one of the heads of the marketing department of Pfizer,
• 35:09
  like the vaccine. And we were just sitting at a
• 35:11
  restaurant having dinner and never once was there a
• 35:14
  discussion about their total sales or about their total, you
• 35:18
  know, revenue they generated or the sales from this product or
• 35:20
  this launch or this push. No one at that table was talking
• 35:24
  about their financial revenue milestones.
• 35:27
  And some of my peers who literally have 8 figure
• 35:31
  businesses are not people that talk about the fact, oh, I have
• 35:34
  an 8 figure business in every conversation.
• 35:36
  And So what we want to recognize is that when we're constantly
• 35:42
  striving for perfect and we're constantly looking to do more,
• 35:46
  do more, achieve more, or attain more, it can often be because we
• 35:51
  don't see value in ourselves unless we do it.
• 35:54
  Do you not see value in yourself unless you look a certain way or
• 35:57
  show up a certain way? Do you not see value in you or
• 36:00
  your brand unless it's polished or curated?
• 36:02
  Do you not see value in you as a business owner unless you're
• 36:04
  making a certain amount of money?
• 36:06
  That comes down to having low self worth and low self esteem.
• 36:10
  And so there's also this aspect of past experiences, which is
• 36:15
  also traumatic or stressful experiences like a trauma, like
• 36:20
  a rejection that can lead to us using perfectionism as a coping
• 36:24
  mechanism to frankly survive, right.
• 36:28
  So, you know, I've even seen there's a situation with a peer
• 36:31
  they were telling me about and they had gone to a speaking
• 36:34
  engagement. And the speaking engagement,
• 36:36
  they went in kind of with this, this belief or this perception
• 36:39
  of like messy action and not wanting to make it again
• 36:42
  perfect. And they were OK with that.
• 36:44
  And so Fast forward, they go into doing the speaking
• 36:48
  engagement and it did not go well as in like the the messy
• 36:51
  action of it ended up just being messy.
• 36:54
  And so now because there was issues with tech and there was
• 36:57
  issues with presentation and then they got bad feedback, like
• 37:00
  you mentioned earlier, they got bad feedback about what it
• 37:03
  looked like. And also, you know, people not
• 37:06
  resonating with it. It now has them sick to their
• 37:10
  stomach in preparation and thinking about all the worst
• 37:13
  case scenarios. And what about if this happens?
• 37:16
  Or what if, you know, the audience doesn't like it?
• 37:18
  I need more information about this and constant planning and
• 37:21
  preparation that now it's gone to the total other side of the
• 37:25
  spectrum. It's gone from, you know, messy
• 37:27
  action and not overemphasizing every detail being flushed out
• 37:31
  to I'm going to flush out every single detail for six months on
• 37:35
  end before a speaking engagement because I can't fathom what
• 37:38
  happened before it happened again.
• 37:41
  And this is really, you know, when we go into, you know, where
• 37:45
  this comes from, whether it's your upbringing, if it's social
• 37:47
  media, if it's we lack self worth or self esteem, is it, you
• 37:52
  know, the psychological traits that we have of just someone who
• 37:55
  really sets unrealistic standards to themselves over and
• 37:58
  over. Or maybe it's a past experience
• 38:00
  you had that traumatized you. We need to dive in.
• 38:04
  You'll see a lot of this is mindset.
• 38:06
  A lot of This Is Us unpacking those experiences, unpacking our
• 38:10
  childhood, unpacking that that situation that left a mark on
• 38:14
  you and say, OK, can we go back? Can we go and reflect and sit in
• 38:20
  some of those experiences to learn from them, to use them as
• 38:24
  an opportunity for us to say, where does the perfectionism
• 38:27
  that I struggle with and that I experienced today really come
• 38:31
  from? Because nine times out of 10,
• 38:33
  the perfectionism that you're experiencing is not necessarily
• 38:38
  even something to do with the work in front of you.
• 38:40
  And I think that's where we get stuck is we get stuck in this
• 38:43
  belief that, you know, I, well, I just really care about the
• 38:45
  branding or I just really care about the photo shoot or I
• 38:48
  really care about the offer. When you and I both know that
• 38:54
  the Canva and the the photo shoot or the offer, the
• 38:58
  marketing or the team member training or whatever you're
• 39:02
  building and creating 9 times out of 10 is not about the thing
• 39:07
  in front of you. Like think about it like an
• 39:09
  iceberg. Like there's what you see and
• 39:11
  there's what you're experiencing today, which is what you're
• 39:13
  consciously aware of, which is you fiddling with something over
• 39:16
  and over and over again and constantly planning to make it
• 39:19
  perfect. But there's the other 95%, which
• 39:22
  is what's underneath the surface, which is what your
• 39:24
  parents taught you about perfectionism.
• 39:26
  That time that you were rejected or that you failed in something
• 39:30
  in high school, that, you know, time that you showed up and you
• 39:34
  weren't showing up curated or put together online, and you got
• 39:38
  negative feedback about it. That's what's really happening.
• 39:42
  It's not really about the thing in front of you.
• 39:44
  And so the reason I wanted to unpack where it comes from is I
• 39:47
  think it's an invitation for us to ask ourselves the tough
• 39:50
  questions. Have you recently actually dove
• 39:54
  into those experiences? Have you recently asked yourself
• 39:57
  the tough questions? Have you taken time and space to
• 40:01
  actively acknowledge where these things come from?
• 40:06
  So if you haven't, this is your the invitation to start this
• 40:09
  process. And that actually leads me into
• 40:11
  how do we overcome it? Because step one, as we always
• 40:15
  hear, right, is like the first step is awareness, the first
• 40:18
  step is acknowledgement. But that's why I wanted to cover
• 40:21
  where does it come from? Because we can't fix it if we
• 40:24
  don't know where it's sourced from.
• 40:26
  Where does it come from? So the first step of overcoming
• 40:30
  and and changing your relationship with perfectionism
• 40:35
  is first of all, realizing that your ability to overcome
• 40:38
  perfectionism in itself is not going to be perfect.
• 40:43
  But also looking at the fact that you have to know where the
• 40:46
  root of it comes from. Because if you don't, you don't
• 40:49
  necessarily know the correlation between what the root of it is,
• 40:53
  what's causing it, what event is leading to the beliefs you have
• 40:57
  and how those beliefs are now changing your behavior.
• 41:00
  You have to know where the beliefs come from first.
• 41:03
  So only once you can recognize what the root is and then
• 41:08
  reframe some of those experiences and the values and
• 41:11
  the beliefs that you took from them, can you actually start to
• 41:14
  heal your old wounds and use those to move forward in a
• 41:17
  different way. And so I really want to say like
• 41:23
  understanding the root, I believe you can't move much past
• 41:26
  this until you understand where it comes from.
• 41:30
  And I feel like, you know, what I would want to share is that
• 41:36
  that's a lot easier said than done, right?
• 41:38
  Like there's not really, really this like I'm so excited to dive
• 41:41
  into my trauma. I'm so excited to dive into the
• 41:43
  event that shaped me today. I'm so excited to dive into XYZ.
• 41:47
  We're not going to always be excited to do that work.
• 41:50
  But I will tell you something as someone who has a big business,
• 41:54
  who helps other people with big businesses and all my peers have
• 41:56
  very big businesses, what you avoid is the thing that is
• 42:03
  ultimately really where a lot of your opportunity lies, like your
• 42:07
  obstacle is your opportunity. You guys hear me say this all
• 42:10
  the time on this podcast and is a motto that I live by because
• 42:13
  the the thing that you don't want to acknowledge about your
• 42:15
  upbringing, the thing that you haven't dove into when it comes
• 42:18
  to past experiences are often the reason that you're not able
• 42:22
  to progress. So all the big business owners
• 42:26
  that I know and the way that I've built my business and been
• 42:29
  able to really see a completely different experience and the way
• 42:32
  that I operate day-to-day came from the fact that I had to hit
• 42:36
  things head on. I had to seek to understand what
• 42:39
  the heck was going on with me and where did these beliefs come
• 42:42
  from and where did the root of all these perspectives?
• 42:46
  How were those shaped? Because only once I understood
• 42:48
  those could I start to rewire them to choose to choose what I
• 42:53
  wanted to have as my belief system instead of just taking
• 42:55
  the auto programming that I had that came with me when I was a
• 42:59
  child. So step one is we need to really
• 43:04
  do some work to acknowledge where it comes from and how do
• 43:06
  we do this. This could be through, for
• 43:08
  example, things like using journal prompts to unpack this
• 43:11
  for you, kind of like some of those questions that I asked
• 43:13
  earlier and dive into those. It could be also working with a
• 43:17
  mindset coach or working with a therapist to say, hey, like I
• 43:21
  have this way that I operate and I don't know where this comes
• 43:23
  from. So like, I would love to, you
• 43:25
  know, kind of unpack why I struggled to do XYZ.
• 43:29
  Really getting an outside perspective or using your own
• 43:33
  awarenesses to really just sit back and observe those and not
• 43:38
  to make them right, not to make them wrong, just to look at
• 43:41
  those and analyze them to say, why do I do that?
• 43:45
  Why do I care about that? Why does the number define me?
• 43:48
  Why do I need 10 revisions, right?
• 43:51
  Like, why do I need to change that one little thing one more
• 43:53
  time? Why?
• 43:55
  And like really starting to ask targeted questions to get some
• 43:57
  targeted answers. 2nd, we would really need to learn to change
• 44:04
  the relationship that we have with perfection and most
• 44:09
  importantly with imperfection. And we talked about this in
• 44:12
  another episode when we were talking about some of the
• 44:14
  insights of A7 figure business owner.
• 44:16
  And one of the things that I will say was an awareness for
• 44:19
  me, I had to rewire my relationship with what things
• 44:23
  meant when they were imperfect because I had to look at the
• 44:28
  fact that problems, this was a quote that was shared with me.
• 44:32
  Problems are a sign of progress. Think about a car on the road.
• 44:37
  Only when you experience resistance will you have
• 44:40
  movement, right? When you have a tire that's
• 44:42
  literally creating resistance against the road, that's how you
• 44:46
  know you've got movement. And so for me, I had to change
• 44:51
  the fact that my problems were not a sign that I was failing.
• 44:55
  Mistakes were not a sign that I was doing something wrong.
• 44:59
  They often times were a sign that I was doing something right
• 45:01
  because I was taking action. I was making and taking steps.
• 45:06
  I was making moves. And because I was doing that,
• 45:08
  that's what the sign was to me. OK, keep going.
• 45:11
  So I had to learn for myself through very different examples,
• 45:17
  all different types of examples, to say what do I believe to be
• 45:21
  right or wrong about perfect? What is my belief as it pertains
• 45:24
  to imperfection? What do I believe to be true
• 45:26
  about imperfection? What do I believe to be true
• 45:29
  about mistakes? What do I believe to be true
• 45:31
  about success? What does it mean to me?
• 45:34
  And I had to ask myself those tough questions because only by
• 45:37
  doing so was I able to really realize that I was able to let
• 45:42
  other people around me make mistakes.
• 45:45
  But I never gave that permission slip to myself to allow me to
• 45:51
  also be imperfect. And so there there was this
• 45:54
  aspect of Step 2 being giving myself a permission slip and
• 45:59
  saying, hey, it's OK for it to not be perfect because imperfect
• 46:04
  means blank to us. And perfect to me now is that
• 46:08
  problems are a sign of progress. That's what it means.
• 46:12
  And so now when I make a mistake or something doesn't work or we
• 46:15
  quote UN quote fail, I'm like, great, what did we learn?
• 46:17
  What did we learn? What did we learn?
• 46:19
  I seek it out now I want it to happen because it's when I have
• 46:23
  those situations happen that I learn the most.
• 46:25
  And if I learn the most from those, I can take that
• 46:28
  information and apply that to the next thing to be able to
• 46:31
  move quicker and get results faster.
• 46:33
  Step 3 is to set realistic standards.
• 46:36
  And you know, the, again, I have like mottos or I have analogies
• 46:41
  that I root into that have helped me a lot with this.
• 46:44
  And one of the ones is you wouldn't go to the gym and
• 46:47
  expect to get abs overnight. So when I'm going into doing
• 46:51
  something, even for me with this podcast, my first couple
• 46:54
  episodes in comparison to what we do now are not the best.
• 47:00
  OK? Like, they're not, they're not
• 47:01
  the best by comparison. But the reality is that it takes
• 47:06
  time. There's things that take time to
• 47:09
  see progress in. There are things you have to do
• 47:12
  and be bad at before you become good at it.
• 47:14
  And I had to change my relationship with, you know,
• 47:19
  what was my standard? Was I being realistic?
• 47:23
  Was I expecting to be like, you know, the Ed Mylet show or the
• 47:27
  Diary of Aceo show on my first episode?
• 47:30
  How many episodes did they have? And was I comparing my day 30 to
• 47:34
  someone else's day 300? So something that's immensely
• 47:38
  helped me as well is and what I'd recommend to you is to say
• 47:41
  what are your standards? What are the standards you hold
• 47:44
  for yourself? What are the standards that you
• 47:47
  tell yourself you should or you know?
• 47:49
  Again, should is also even itself a shame based word that
• 47:52
  you ultimately should be achieving.
• 47:55
  Where do those come from and what are they?
• 47:58
  And a big thing for me was prioritizing action as the key
• 48:04
  indicator of success rather than achievement.
• 48:08
  So my indicator of success is action and the level, the
• 48:12
  intensity and the intention of the actions that I'm taking, not
• 48:17
  the achievement that those actions produce.
• 48:20
  OK, I want to just slow that down because this is a really
• 48:22
  important one for me. Success is by being able to look
• 48:28
  at and monitor the action that I'm taking, both in intensity
• 48:33
  and intention, IE what's the root of it come from, of why I'm
• 48:36
  taking that action, not in the achievement that those actions
• 48:40
  provide. I am more focused now on am I
• 48:44
  going to the gym each day and am I getting the reps in?
• 48:49
  Am I feeling like I'm being consistent with, say, my meal
• 48:51
  plan or am I being consistent with going to the gym?
• 48:54
  That's what I care about, not micromanaging what the weight
• 48:57
  says every single day. Because what do we know?
• 48:59
  We know for a fact that if we focus on the action, the
• 49:02
  achievement will come. It's when people focus on the
• 49:05
  achievement that they actually stopped acting.
• 49:09
  So what I now do is I honestly know what my quote UN quote goal
• 49:13
  or ideal vision might be, but I'm not fixated on that.
• 49:17
  I'm fixated on the incremental actions I'm taking day in and
• 49:20
  day out because I know for a fact with science and with every
• 49:25
  single aspect of life that the compound effect is true, which
• 49:29
  is that the things and the actions that you take every
• 49:32
  single day are what compound over time to help you to
• 49:34
  achieve. And without this perspective,
• 49:39
  what ends up happening is you focus so much on the achievement
• 49:41
  and so much on the destination that you completely ignore the
• 49:45
  process. And it makes it frankly 10 times
• 49:49
  harder to be able to get through and to be able to persevere
• 49:52
  through. Another thing that has also
• 49:55
  really helped me is learning to delegate.
• 49:59
  I realized that I was doing everything myself because I was
• 50:02
  choosing to, not because I had to.
• 50:05
  And this was something that was difficult because it took some
• 50:08
  time. As I said, it wasn't an
• 50:09
  overnight thing. But you have to learn to let go
• 50:13
  and you have to realize that sometimes we have to learn to
• 50:16
  let go and we have to realize that what we are not changing,
• 50:20
  we are choosing. If you are not changing your
• 50:23
  relationship and your perspective around delegation
• 50:27
  and giving to other people, you are choosing automatically to do
• 50:32
  everything yourself. Everyone is always so happy to
• 50:36
  be able to make a a quick comment here or a quick decision
• 50:40
  there without recognizing that what you say yes to, you are
• 50:44
  saying no to something else. If you are saying yes to I'm
• 50:47
  going to do it, you're saying no to delegation, You're saying
• 50:50
  frankly no to self-care and you're saying yes to burnout.
• 50:54
  When you say yes to delegating, you're saying no, I don't have
• 50:59
  to all do it myself. No, I'm not the only one who can
• 51:01
  do this. No, I don't believe that I have
• 51:03
  to be a one person show to scale this company.
• 51:07
  So I realized that if I did not change it, if I did not change
• 51:12
  my relationship with who could do what and who had the skill
• 51:15
  sets and who could I trust to give this or this to.
• 51:18
  If I didn't change my relationship to that, I was not,
• 51:21
  oh, I have to take on all this work or I feel like I'm always
• 51:24
  getting involved or I have to constantly be in it with all the
• 51:27
  time with my team. That wasn't the reality.
• 51:30
  The reality was the fact that I was choosing to be involved.
• 51:33
  I was choosing to be on those meetings.
• 51:35
  I was choosing to micromanage the click up.
• 51:38
  I was choosing to give 8 revisions.
• 51:41
  That was a choice. And often times people hide in
• 51:47
  this language and you may feel like this is tickling for you.
• 51:51
  You might hide in language that is, oh, but I have to, and I
• 51:55
  will tell you, 90% of the entrepreneurs that I work with
• 51:58
  do not have to be involved in things that they're involved in.
• 52:01
  They're choosing to because they get some kind of pay off by
• 52:04
  being involved. They don't have to focus on
• 52:06
  other areas of the business. They get to realize they're
• 52:08
  micromanaging everything and they feel like they get to keep
• 52:10
  control over it. There's many reasons why we do
• 52:12
  it, But realizing that if you choose to not delegate, by
• 52:17
  choosing not to delegate, you are indirectly choosing that
• 52:20
  you're going to do everything in your business yourself.
• 52:23
  Do you actively choose to do everything yourself?
• 52:27
  Is that a choice that you're choosing to make?
• 52:30
  And that's only a question that you can answer, but I will tell
• 52:33
  you that as someone who helps scaling businesses day in day
• 52:36
  out, it is the fastest route to burnout and the fastest route to
• 52:39
  overwhelm. You also have to manage self
• 52:43
  criticism because managing self criticism as another key pillar
• 52:48
  to overcoming perfectionism. Managing self criticism is being
• 52:53
  able to understand that your negative self talk is what is
• 52:57
  fueling your perfectionism. So only once we actually get a
• 53:01
  handle on the self talk and the internal dialogues that are
• 53:04
  happening are we going to get a handle on the perfectionism.
• 53:08
  So one of the ways that we have to be able to do this or that we
• 53:12
  need to address is to be able to say, OK, well, mistakes don't
• 53:18
  mean I'm less valuable. Me not having a launch that
• 53:23
  crushes doesn't mean anything about me as a business owner.
• 53:26
  Me, you know, having someone not engage with a post I put on
• 53:30
  social media doesn't mean that it was a bad post.
• 53:33
  It just means that they didn't resonate with it, right?
• 53:36
  It doesn't. It's not internalizing.
• 53:39
  We cannot internalize the things that happen in our business.
• 53:42
  And this is something I talked to business owners a lot about
• 53:44
  because I say that, you know, when especially your personal
• 53:47
  brand, you're literally the face of your business.
• 53:50
  So when somebody you know, denies your business or does
• 53:54
  something that basically is them saying that they don't enjoy
• 53:58
  something that you've done, created, launched, posted,
• 54:01
  whatever it might be. When that happens, you, because
• 54:04
  you're a personal brand, internalize that feedback of it
• 54:08
  not doing well as they don't not like the offer, they don't like
• 54:11
  you. That's what the internalization
• 54:14
  of that is. And So what ends up happening is
• 54:16
  we start to self criticize when things don't go wrong in the
• 54:20
  business, I'm doing wrong when the business is not quote UN
• 54:25
  quote, successful for whatever the metric may be, I'm not
• 54:27
  successful. And so there's also this really
• 54:31
  important element of distinguishing the self
• 54:35
  dialogues that are happening around both success and what
• 54:38
  success means, IE when things are crushing, what does that
• 54:41
  mean about you? And remembering that you can't
• 54:44
  acknowledge all the highs and then feel differently or
• 54:48
  navigate the dialogue differently with the lows.
• 54:51
  And so it really does come down to having this distinction
• 54:53
  between the two. So you can manage the self
• 54:55
  dialogue to realize your business and whatever happens in
• 54:59
  it, both positive or negative, is not a reflection of your
• 55:02
  worth. You are not more worthy as an
• 55:05
  individual or business owner because you make more money.
• 55:08
  You are not less worthy because you make less money than the
• 55:11
  person next to you. This is why when I have events
• 55:14
  or I have retreats, anything, one of our ground rules is we
• 55:17
  don't talk about income. We are not talking about how
• 55:20
  much you're making. And if you do, you break the
• 55:22
  rules. And every single dinner that we
• 55:25
  have or any event that we have, we said this is ground rule.
• 55:27
  Because what I know is that there is a constant pattern that
• 55:31
  people believe that they are not worthy unless their business
• 55:34
  looks a certain way or that even when people's businesses are
• 55:38
  doing really well, I've hosted rooms where people are doing 2
• 55:42
  million a year. But oh, put the girl beside me,
• 55:44
  she's hosting, you know, 3 million a year.
• 55:47
  She's managing 3 million, and I'm doing 2,000,000.
• 55:49
  Now I'm insecure because I'm making less than the person next
• 55:53
  to me. So we have to be able to
• 55:54
  recognize that our success is not directly correlated to our
• 55:57
  business. We are worthy regardless of what
• 56:01
  our business does, high or low. And we also have to look at what
• 56:06
  is the cost of perfectionism, right?
• 56:09
  The cost of perfectionism is that we don't have progress.
• 56:12
  We can't see the milestones, we can't see the winds, we can't
• 56:14
  create momentum. And the cost of perfectionism,
• 56:18
  frankly, is your mental well-being.
• 56:21
  Your experience because of your perfectionist tendency at this
• 56:27
  moment is totally different than it could be for you just because
• 56:32
  of your perspective. Like imagine how you feel in
• 56:35
  your business day in and day out, feeling entirely different
• 56:41
  because your perspective around your business is different.
• 56:47
  Your experience of your business could be totally different just
• 56:50
  if you change your perspective. And I know that sounds like, oh,
• 56:53
  it's easier said than done. No, it's not because it's
• 56:56
  actually just a choice. It's a choice to say that
• 56:59
  instead of it being perfect to hit X milestone.
• 57:02
  You say, you know what, I learned a lot.
• 57:04
  I made great progress. The next goal I want to go for
• 57:06
  is blank. Boom, done.
• 57:08
  It's choosing the language, it's choosing the perspective, it's
• 57:11
  choosing what you value and what you acknowledge along the way.
• 57:16
  And so we have to recognize that while perfect means in many
• 57:19
  people's minds that it's 100% done, that it's everything that
• 57:23
  it could have been, that I achieved the ideal vision.
• 57:25
  Like it's dialed in to the perfect, perfect way that it
• 57:28
  could be, yes, but it's also costing you progress.
• 57:31
  It's costing you mental well-being.
• 57:33
  It's costing you yourself worth. It's costing you action, it's
• 57:37
  costing you time, it's costing you success more than it's
• 57:41
  bringing you success by making it perfect.
• 57:44
  And I will also say that you need to change the relationship
• 57:49
  with feedback. This was something that changed
• 57:51
  everything for me. I literally seek people out
• 57:53
  telling me things that they have as feedback.
• 57:56
  What did you like? What do you not like?
• 57:57
  I asked my clients, do you guys love you to pieces if you're
• 58:00
  listening to this? I asked them on Q and as and I
• 58:03
  asked them on calls to say, hey, is there any resources we could
• 58:05
  make them be best for you? Is there any way that we can
• 58:08
  host these calls that would make these more impactful for you?
• 58:12
  Is there anything you did or didn't like about the retreat?
• 58:14
  Is there anything that you know you would find that would be
• 58:17
  supportive for you in the way that we host?
• 58:19
  XYZI am constantly asking people because what I know is that
• 58:26
  perfection. Back to our earlier point, we
• 58:28
  started off today's episode with perfection is similar to beauty.
• 58:33
  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right?
• 58:35
  What you deem to be beautiful is different than the person next
• 58:37
  to you. What you believe to be perfect
• 58:40
  is different than the belief of your team, which is different
• 58:43
  than the belief of your clients, which is different than the
• 58:45
  belief of your social audience. So by opening up to feedback,
• 58:49
  what we're doing is we're getting an actual accurate
• 58:53
  representation of what do people enjoy and what can I give them
• 58:58
  more of. And hey, here's the thing too.
• 59:00
  When someone gives you negative feedback, it doesn't mean you
• 59:02
  necessarily have to do anything about it.
• 59:04
  It's just awareness. We get to sort and say, what
• 59:08
  lands true for me? What do I feel to be true about
• 59:11
  that? Do I take that?
• 59:13
  Do I internalize that? And so feedback and putting in
• 59:18
  the reps of feedback will change your relationship with quote UN
• 59:21
  quote criticism or your relationship with quote UN quote
• 59:26
  failure. Because by asking for feedback,
• 59:29
  you're normalizing the relationship with having things
• 59:33
  not always being said the way you want to have them said.
• 59:36
  Having things not always look the way you want to have them
• 59:39
  look or having things experienced in a way that's not
• 59:41
  always the way you intended them to be experienced.
• 59:44
  It's a tool and a muscle that will massively impact you within
• 59:47
  your business. And I will say as the last
• 59:52
  piece, creating a network of people who are like minded.
• 59:55
  You need to be surrounded by other people who also in
• 59:59
  themselves do not believe or perceive perfection to be the
• 1:00:04
  way that they are able to grow their business or the reason
• 1:00:07
  that they're going to be successful.
• 1:00:09
  And I'm so grateful for the people that are in my
• 1:00:13
  surroundings because they're part of the thing that keeps me
• 1:00:15
  grounded to knowing that. My Instagram doesn't need to
• 1:00:20
  look a specific way. My body and my you know, face or
• 1:00:24
  my look does not need to look a certain way.
• 1:00:26
  My business does not need to hit a certain number for me to be
• 1:00:29
  valuable. I don't need to have things look
• 1:00:33
  or be a specific way for me to be OK.
• 1:00:38
  So when I get in patterns, like I said earlier today with that
• 1:00:41
  reel and my peer called me out and said, hey Kate, you've gone
• 1:00:46
  like 6 revisions, it's time to throw it in and put it up and
• 1:00:50
  call it a day. How this reel does will not
• 1:00:55
  determine how your retreat does. Let it go.
• 1:01:00
  I needed someone in my corner to basically hit me over the head
• 1:01:03
  with a little dose of reality because without that I would
• 1:01:06
  have stayed in my cycle. You need a network of people who
• 1:01:10
  also don't believe that perfect is what ultimately allows you to
• 1:01:15
  be valuable or allows your business to be valuable.
• 1:01:18
  And on the other side of the same piece, we also need to be
• 1:01:21
  very aware of those that we do have around us who reinforce
• 1:01:27
  perfect as the destination. If you are somebody who's
• 1:01:31
  thinking about your circle, think about the top five.
• 1:01:34
  Think about the top ten people that you're around right now.
• 1:01:37
  Do they, whether intentionally or not, promote perfectionism?
• 1:01:42
  Do they, whether intentionally or not, promote, you know, doing
• 1:01:45
  things the right way, the perfect way, the ideal way?
• 1:01:48
  There's always work to be done. If that is a perspective that
• 1:01:52
  you have in your surroundings day in and day out, you're going
• 1:01:55
  to internalize that. So it's not to say that you
• 1:01:58
  can't be around these people, but you might want to distance
• 1:02:01
  yourself until you build up that internal barrier to have a
• 1:02:05
  filtering mechanism to say, yes, that's what you believe, but
• 1:02:08
  that's not true for me. And simultaneously allowing
• 1:02:13
  yourself to be supported by other people who do value and
• 1:02:16
  balance values around a perspective that perfectionism
• 1:02:21
  is not needed in any bucket in appearance, in relationships and
• 1:02:24
  health, in business, in numbers, it doesn't matter.
• 1:02:28
  So today we went into, you know, perfectionism and what is it and
• 1:02:34
  signs that you might be struggling with it and realizing
• 1:02:36
  you're not alone with the stats we cover, understanding where it
• 1:02:39
  comes from and most importantly, how to overcome it and how to
• 1:02:42
  move forward. And the reason I wanted to talk
• 1:02:45
  about this is, as I said, this is something that I've struggled
• 1:02:47
  with for years as a business owner.
• 1:02:49
  I will say I was much, much worse the beginning in the first
• 1:02:52
  like, call it three years of business, like I didn't want a
• 1:02:55
  single thing happening or moving or existing without me touching
• 1:02:58
  it. But what I will say now is that
• 1:03:01
  this has been a reps thing. It's not something you just
• 1:03:04
  decide, like as of tomorrow, I'm not going to be a perfectionist.
• 1:03:07
  It's really going and diving into some of the things we
• 1:03:10
  talked about today and unpacking those beliefs and getting
• 1:03:12
  practices and putting in the reps, looking at your circle,
• 1:03:16
  all of those different tactical, strategic things to say.
• 1:03:19
  OK, if I was going to give you a piece of homework, I would say
• 1:03:23
  what is one or two of the things that you heard today that you
• 1:03:27
  can promise yourself you're going to execute in the next two
• 1:03:30
  to three business days? Also, what you hear me say all
• 1:03:33
  the time is success, love, speed.
• 1:03:35
  It's the idea or the aha moment between something and then
• 1:03:40
  moving from there into action as fast as possible that will allow
• 1:03:43
  you to see actual change from listening to these episodes.
• 1:03:47
  So if something landed for you today, if you feel like you are
• 1:03:49
  someone who's struggling with perfectionism, maybe you have a
• 1:03:51
  circle of perfectionists that you're around.
• 1:03:53
  If you are wanting to make a change in this, let this be the
• 1:03:57
  sign you needed. Let this be the the spark that
• 1:04:01
  allowed you to say I'm not doing this anymore.
• 1:04:04
  I want to experience business differently.
• 1:04:06
  I want to experience my life differently.
• 1:04:08
  And I realize that it starts with my perspective.
• 1:04:11
  It starts with my mindset. And so you can start to take
• 1:04:13
  some of the tips from today and integrate those to see movement
• 1:04:16
  very fast. You will feel a weight off your
• 1:04:20
  shoulders. And I will share a story to kind
• 1:04:23
  of end today. I actually had this most
• 1:04:26
  recently in my appearance. If I'm just going to be really
• 1:04:30
  transparent with you, I, since I was young, have always like, I
• 1:04:36
  want to stay since I was like in grade six, I've loved makeup,
• 1:04:39
  love, love, loved makeup and I still love makeup definitely to
• 1:04:42
  this day. It's always been something I
• 1:04:43
  kind of found like therapeutic. It's almost like an art for me.
• 1:04:46
  But what I realized was I, I met somebody and when we started to
• 1:04:51
  kind of, you know, spend time and be around each other in the
• 1:04:53
  same circle, it was interesting because I with some friends was
• 1:04:59
  comfortable to like not have my makeup and, you know, basically
• 1:05:02
  like take my, I always joke like take my quote UN quote face off
• 1:05:05
  and like put my pimple patches on.
• 1:05:07
  Like we would just hang out and, and spend time together.
• 1:05:10
  But it was interesting because I wasn't comfortable around
• 1:05:12
  somebody who didn't know doing that.
• 1:05:14
  And what I realized was that again, going back to
• 1:05:18
  perfectionism, like I cared about what they thought about me
• 1:05:21
  and I was someone who tied myself worth to my appearance.
• 1:05:26
  And I had all of these insecurities that were coming up
• 1:05:29
  of like, well, they know my business.
• 1:05:32
  They know how, you know, successful I am.
• 1:05:34
  And so because of that, you know, what if they see me now,
• 1:05:37
  you know, looking disheveled and they think differently of me or
• 1:05:41
  like the belief around me isn't the same.
• 1:05:43
  And all these thoughts came in and I had someone say to me,
• 1:05:48
  they said, listen, you are valuable to me.
• 1:05:51
  And this was unprompted. This was just like smacked me
• 1:05:54
  over the head with a 2 by 4 basically of truth.
• 1:05:57
  They said you're valuable to me and I want to be around you, get
• 1:06:01
  to know you, spend time with you as you and I don't care about
• 1:06:05
  anything else. And you know, pimple patches,
• 1:06:09
  welcome. You know, if you want to wear
• 1:06:12
  sweatpants and it's going to stain on it, welcome.
• 1:06:14
  Like all of it is welcomed. Like I want to be around all of
• 1:06:18
  it. Like I'm here for all of it.
• 1:06:21
  And it was like this one simple conversation, but that I needed
• 1:06:24
  because I, I realized until that moment, I actually was really
• 1:06:29
  trying to not consciously, but subconsciously I was feeling
• 1:06:36
  this pressure to almost like perform in a way and to be on.
• 1:06:41
  And that I was only not on around like 5-6 people that I
• 1:06:46
  was super, super close with because everybody else I wasn't
• 1:06:49
  super comfortable to be that way with.
• 1:06:51
  That was like 10 months ago, that interaction when this
• 1:06:57
  person came into my life. And so it changed me because
• 1:07:00
  since then I was like, hey, like, you know, here's me with
• 1:07:03
  my pimple patches. I like often we interface with
• 1:07:06
  me looking at A at a certain way or, you know, I started to dress
• 1:07:10
  more casually and feel very comfortable in it where it's
• 1:07:13
  before I wasn't. And I realized that it wasn't
• 1:07:15
  really me wanting to be perfect was because I lacked the self
• 1:07:20
  esteem to just be who I was and that be enough.
• 1:07:25
  And I say this because today may resonate on a business level, it
• 1:07:30
  may resonate on a personal level.
• 1:07:32
  It can resonate in so many different buckets.
• 1:07:34
  But this is something that I'm still working through in for me.
• 1:07:39
  I feel like the business bucket I've made massive progress with,
• 1:07:42
  but now I'm working on this in my individual self, like even in
• 1:07:47
  my body to say, OK, well, like I'm OK regardless of what size I
• 1:07:50
  am. I'm OK regardless of whether I
• 1:07:52
  shaved my legs today or not. Like I'm, I'm, you know, like
• 1:07:55
  those pieces for me were something that I, I struggled to
• 1:07:59
  ever not look a certain way or be quote UN quote, put together.
• 1:08:02
  Because back to what we said earlier, that was my upbringing.
• 1:08:06
  That's what's, that's what I was taught was the right way to be.
• 1:08:09
  You're always basically presentable.
• 1:08:12
  You're always in a place where you should be put together.
• 1:08:15
  But I took that and internalized that and made it become an
• 1:08:18
  extreme that actually ended up for me becoming something
• 1:08:21
  stressful because when I would go to interface with new people,
• 1:08:24
  I'd always want to, quote UN quote, get ready.
• 1:08:27
  And yet I had this friend, bless her harm, just obsessed with her
• 1:08:30
  personality. She does not care who she meets.
• 1:08:33
  She does not care who she sees or interfaces with.
• 1:08:36
  She's like, this is me, here you go.
• 1:08:38
  Take it or leave it. She doesn't care how much money
• 1:08:39
  you make. She doesn't care, you know what
• 1:08:41
  your status is. She doesn't care about any of
• 1:08:43
  those things. She's like, this is me, take
• 1:08:44
  her, leave it. I love who I am, and it's one of
• 1:08:46
  the parts of her that I admire the most.
• 1:08:48
  And it's something that I realized was because she didn't
• 1:08:51
  care about perfect. She didn't care about the
• 1:08:55
  perception of others. She had rewritten her experience
• 1:08:58
  with, you know, rejection. She had rewritten her experience
• 1:09:02
  of other people's beliefs or values or what they believe to
• 1:09:04
  be true about her. And that can be learned in a
• 1:09:08
  personal bucket, but it can also be learned in the business
• 1:09:10
  bucket. So I just want to share that
• 1:09:12
  because it's something that, as I said, I'm not preaching this
• 1:09:14
  from at all. This aspect of, you know, I'm
• 1:09:17
  amazing and here's what you need to do.
• 1:09:18
  I'm right in this with you, girl.
• 1:09:20
  But I want to share this because these are some of the things
• 1:09:22
  that have really helped me in my business.
• 1:09:24
  And now I'm taking those same insights and moving those to my
• 1:09:27
  personal life. So listen, I would love to just
• 1:09:31
  hear anything that kind of landed for you.
• 1:09:33
  Maybe you found that, you know, in listening to today's episode,
• 1:09:37
  maybe an awareness about your upbringing that you kind of
• 1:09:39
  never thought about until today. Maybe you recognize there was an
• 1:09:43
  experience when you were a kid that really impacted you, and
• 1:09:46
  because of that, you kind of have some fear around it and
• 1:09:48
  some leftover feelings that are kind of ruminating around it.
• 1:09:51
  Whatever it might be, I would love to just hear what your
• 1:09:54
  download was today. So as you guys know, I always
• 1:09:56
  love to hear from you. Anything that kind of registers
• 1:09:59
  for you from these shows and from these episodes, just send
• 1:10:02
  me a message on Instagram and be like, hey, I listen to
• 1:10:04
  perfectionist episode and this is what came through for me.
• 1:10:07
  I just always love chatting with you and being able to see what
• 1:10:10
  lands and what comes through and hearing your breakthroughs of
• 1:10:14
  just, you know, the content and what we talk about today.
• 1:10:16
  And also maybe you want to share what you're going to do about
• 1:10:19
  it. What are some of the things that
• 1:10:21
  you took as takeaways that you're really excited to put
• 1:10:23
  into action? And you hear me talk about this
• 1:10:25
  a lot in other episodes. One of the fastest ways to
• 1:10:27
  experience a transformation is to be witnessed in it, which is
• 1:10:30
  why I asked you to reach out to me every week.
• 1:10:32
  Because when you have someone else that you've verbally
• 1:10:36
  acknowledged something to and you are witnessed in your
• 1:10:40
  transformation, you will actually move in that
• 1:10:43
  transformation quicker and easier because you know you've
• 1:10:46
  been witnessing it. You can't hide from the shift
• 1:10:48
  that has happened inside of you because someone else has been
• 1:10:51
  exposed to it. So this is an invitation film.
• 1:10:54
  IDM shoot up, shoot up the messages in my DMS.
• 1:10:57
  I'd absolutely love to connect with you.
• 1:10:59
  As always, I appreciate you so much and thank you so, so much
• 1:11:01
  for listening each week. And if you're new here, I am so
• 1:11:04
  excited to have you as part of the Ambitious family and I
• 1:11:06
  cannot wait to see you next week.
• 1:11:08
  And as always, you guys, I'll see you in next week's episode.
• 1:11:11
  So until then, stay ambitious.