Latest / Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing / #199| A To-Don't List Can Help You Ditch Chaos and Overwhelm — Here's How
Transcript
- 0:00Michelle Gauthier: You know that feeling when you're spinning all the plates, work, home, kids, meals, errands, and that everything is just about to fall apart.
- 0:12Michelle Gauthier: You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less.
- 0:19Michelle Gauthier: I'm your host, Michelle Gauthier, a former Overwhelmed Working Woman and current life coach.
- 0:24Michelle Gauthier: On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's Working Woman experiences.
- 0:29Michelle Gauthier: And in each episode, you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease, and relaxation to your life.
- 0:39Michelle Gauthier: Hi, friends.
- 0:40Michelle Gauthier: Thanks for joining today.
- 0:41Michelle Gauthier: Today I'm joined by my former client Amanda.
- 0:43Michelle Gauthier: She is a full-time realtor in Nashville, a mom of two, and the host of her very own podcast called Behind the White Coat.
- 0:50Michelle Gauthier: Amanda came to me exhausted and overwhelmed, and most problematically believed that life was just supposed to be this way.
- 0:59Michelle Gauthier: But today you're going to hear what happened.
- 1:02Michelle Gauthier: Instead of that, you will learn how she went from feeling constantly overwhelmed to calmly in control without quitting her job or waking up at 4 a.m.
- 1:10Michelle Gauthier: The surprising power of a to don't list, because sometimes the things we choose not to do can really be life-changing.
- 1:18Michelle Gauthier: And then why perfectionism was draining her energy and how she learned to let go without lowering her standards.
- 1:23Michelle Gauthier: I feel like her story is super relatable.
- 1:26Michelle Gauthier: Lots of people who I work with come to me with these same kinds of problems and feelings.
- 1:31Michelle Gauthier: And so I thought it would be a great reminder to each of you that you really don't have to do more to feel better.
- 1:36Michelle Gauthier: Sometimes you just need a new way to think about it.
- 1:39Michelle Gauthier: Before we dive into this conversation with Amanda, I wanted to tell you about two things that are coming up.
- 1:44Michelle Gauthier: The first is Black Friday.
- 1:46Michelle Gauthier: I'm going to be doing a Black Friday special.
- 1:49Michelle Gauthier: If you've been around a while, you know that every year in January, I do a class called Your Best Year 2026.
- 1:55Michelle Gauthier: Well, it's not always called 2026, but you know what I mean.
- 1:58Michelle Gauthier: And that class helps you set up your year with goals, intentions, a word of the year, etc.
- 2:06Michelle Gauthier: And I'm going to be selling that on Black Friday along with an accountability group that goes for the entire year.
- 2:13Michelle Gauthier: So you can have your entire best year of 2026.
- 2:17Michelle Gauthier: It's a monthly group coaching, and you even have the option to add on one-on-one coaching sessions.
- 2:22Michelle Gauthier: So if you've been thinking about dipping your toes in the water of working with me, look out for Black Friday because you're going to have a great chance to do that and really make a difference in your 2026, and it's going to be at a huge discount.
- 2:34Michelle Gauthier: So watch out for that.
- 2:36Michelle Gauthier: Okay, let's jump into this conversation with Amanda.
- 2:40Michelle Gauthier: Amanda, thank you so much for being willing to come on the podcast and tell everyone about your experience.
- 2:46Michelle Gauthier: Tell us how you felt before coaching and kind of why you decided to work with a coach in general.
- 2:53Amanda Baron: Yeah.
- 2:54Amanda Baron: Thank you for having me here.
- 2:56Amanda Baron: I'm excited to share with you and your listeners.
- 3:00Amanda Baron: So I felt just like a constant chaos that I was coordinating this chaotic life and this was just how it was always going to be.
- 3:10Amanda Baron: As far as working full time, my husband working all the time.
- 3:14Amanda Baron: I had two kids in two different directions, two different schools, and kind of spinning my wheels and trying to just figure it out.
- 3:23Amanda Baron: You know, I think just like all of us are, but I thought, okay, if I was more organized, if I worked more hours, if I got up earlier, just all the things and was kind of burning the candle at both ends.
- 3:35Michelle Gauthier: Yes.
- 3:35Michelle Gauthier: And I think it's important to note too that your job, your full-time job is to sell homes, which doesn't really have hours necessarily.
- 3:44Michelle Gauthier: You're not working like a nine to five type job.
- 3:47Michelle Gauthier: And that your spouse has a job where he works a lot of hours and is on call and things like that sometimes.
- 3:52Michelle Gauthier: So you're doing a vast majority of like the meal preparation and those kinds, even though he's helpful, great guy, you're still doing a lot of the stuff at home.
- 4:03Amanda Baron: He's not home very often and having to do most of the home management stuff and still have a life outside of work and one that you enjoy and trying to bring in boundaries and all the things.
- 4:16Michelle Gauthier: Yeah.
- 4:17Michelle Gauthier: Yes.
- 4:17Michelle Gauthier: Okay.
- 4:18Michelle Gauthier: So then once we got into coaching, how did you know that it was working?
- 4:24Michelle Gauthier: Like where did you see improvements or when did you start to feel a little bit better?
- 4:28Amanda Baron: Well, from our very first call, I felt a million times better.
- 4:32Amanda Baron: When your voice is just so calming.
- 4:34Michelle Gauthier: Oh my gosh. Thank you.
- 4:35Amanda Baron: T So I felt better immediately.
- 4:38Amanda Baron: But after honestly, the first coaching session, because it was nice to just get it off my chest.
- 4:43Amanda Baron: And then it was like, okay, let's come up with a plan.
- 4:46Amanda Baron: Like you were ready to come up with a plan.
- 4:48Amanda Baron: We were ready to attack it.
- 4:50Amanda Baron: And just bit by bit, or coaching session by coaching session, we devised kind of an order of priorities and how we were going to work those tips and implement the strategies that you were giving me.
- 5:05Michelle Gauthier: So what was the number one?
- 5:07Michelle Gauthier: What was first on that list of priorities?
- 5:09Michelle Gauthier: What did you have to attack first?
- 5:12Amanda Baron: Oh gosh.
- 5:12Amanda Baron: I had I had a lot of things that I needed to work on, but what you helped me really reflect on was a lot of what I was putting on myself.
- 5:21Amanda Baron: So I am this perfectionist, which as we know, nothing ever is perfect.
- 5:27Amanda Baron: But why I was creating this for myself and these feelings for myself, and then kind of realizing, hey, it it's okay to not have a hundred things on my list.
- 5:38Amanda Baron: Let's get rid of these non-important ones that I felt like were just at the very top of my list.
- 5:44Amanda Baron: But once I really started to look at them, they were not nearly as important as I thought.
- 5:49Amanda Baron: And we dwindled it down to, okay, these top 10 things are what I need to focus on today.
- 5:54Amanda Baron: And then it made things much more doable and in the bite-sized chunks where I didn't feel quite so overwhelmed.
- 6:02Michelle Gauthier: Yes, that's so great.
- 6:03Michelle Gauthier: And I think your tendency to be a perfectionist has probably helped you do really high quality work, but it's impossible for anyone to do that perfectionist, high-quality work 100% of the time without losing their mind.
- 6:18Michelle Gauthier: It's too much for any mere mortal to handle.
- 6:21Michelle Gauthier: So I think that's great if you could gently realize that about yourself.
- 6:25Michelle Gauthier: And then the other thing is like we would be talking about, say, how you onboard a new client or when you were starting your podcast or, you know, any of those things, and you would have thoughts like, I don't know what I'm doing, and I'm not organized on this at all.
- 6:38Michelle Gauthier: And I'd say, Okay, well, tell me what you've got.
- 6:40Michelle Gauthier: And you've got like everything, you know, like your brain would always tell you, I don't know what to do, and I don't know what I'm doing.
- 6:47Michelle Gauthier: And then you would have the whole entire thing laid out.
- 6:49Michelle Gauthier: I'm like, okay, so that's basically all planned and done.
- 6:52Amanda Baron: Right, right.
- 6:53Amanda Baron: Yeah.
- 6:54Amanda Baron: No, you definitely helped me visualize that and and be able to see that it doesn't have to be perfect to actually be okay and to to just kind of put it out there and then it kind of evolves over time.
- 7:06Amanda Baron: But a lot of times I was one of those where it's just, what is it, paralysis by analysis, where I didn't make any decisions and then that just increased my anxiety, where us talking about it made me realize I do have a lot of this mapped out.
- 7:21Amanda Baron: And it's okay to not have it a hundred percent figured out.
- 7:24Michelle Gauthier: Yes, absolutely.
- 7:25Michelle Gauthier: Another thing I think back on too is how many things that you we talked about and you just cross off your list entirely.
- 7:34Michelle Gauthier: Just parts of your job that you didn't enjoy doing or things where you were going above and beyond, and you're like, I don't even like it.
- 7:40Michelle Gauthier: Because going above and beyond when it's something that you love is one thing, but when you don't even like it, it's just putting unnecessary pressure on yourself.
- 7:49Michelle Gauthier: So I think every time we scratch something off the list, like entirely and forever, was a huge win too.
- 7:55Amanda Baron: It was, and I felt instantly better because that's something that I didn't really want to do or didn't enjoy doing.
- 8:01Amanda Baron: I kept moving it down on my to-do list, and then it created more anxiety as my to-do list grew, looking at the long list of things, but also things I didn't want to do.
- 8:11Amanda Baron: And then you helped me to basically visualize okay, what's gonna happen if you don't do this?
- 8:18Amanda Baron: And it was like, well, nothing really.
- 8:20Amanda Baron: It it was just this thought, this story, again, that I created in my mind, and it was very freeing to just let it go.
- 8:28Michelle Gauthier: Okay, good.
- 8:28Michelle Gauthier: That's a great example.
- 8:30Michelle Gauthier: What would you say?
- 8:31Michelle Gauthier: This is actually a great question for you specifically, because we uh finished coaching like a year ago.
- 8:38Michelle Gauthier: Yeah, I don't remember the exact date, but it's been a while.
- 8:41Michelle Gauthier: So what was the best thing you learned in coaching or something that you continue to use even now?
- 8:48Amanda Baron: So one of my favorite things, well, there's actually two.
- 8:51Amanda Baron: Two of my favorite things that I still use to this day was, you know, I love my morning cup of coffee outside, and you taught me to visualize, visualize what your day looks like today, and then also visualize what it would look like in a month from now or two months from now.
- 9:09Amanda Baron: And I still to this day do that.
- 9:12Amanda Baron: I love to do that in the morning to kind of set the tone for the day, but then also visualize a few goals and how I'm gonna get there.
- 9:20Amanda Baron: So that has been huge for me.
- 9:22Amanda Baron: And then my to-don't list that you taught me.
- 9:26Amanda Baron: And sometimes I'm not perfect at it, and sometimes the list changes depending on my season of life, but that to- don't list is just as important as your to-do list.
- 9:37Michelle Gauthier: Yes.
- 9:38Michelle Gauthier: Oh my gosh.
- 9:38Michelle Gauthier: Can you think of anything that's on your to-don't list right now that you could share as an example for people?
- 9:44Amanda Baron: So going back to what you were talking about with being in real estate, a lot of times those boundary lines get blurred.
- 9:51Amanda Baron: So I've been working really hard on trying to network on Sundays.
- 9:56Amanda Baron: Sometimes you have to give a little bit, especially for out-of-town clients, but having a plan implemented already, if I do have an out-of-town client coming.
- 10:06Amanda Baron: So I've got other agents that help me in outsource, and then trying to not work past six o'clock.
- 10:14Michelle Gauthier: Okay, that's great.
- 10:15Michelle Gauthier: I think that's great.
- 10:16Michelle Gauthier: And the great thing about having a to-don't list is you don't have to evaluate every time.
- 10:20Michelle Gauthier: Every time somebody asks you, can we go see houses on Sunday?
- 10:23Michelle Gauthier: You're like, ah, I don't do that.
- 10:25Michelle Gauthier: And because it's your list, you can decide from time to time to make an exception.
- 10:30Michelle Gauthier: And I think it's so much more powerful to do it that way and say, This is on my to-don't list, but I'm choosing to do it because whatever the reason is, and it's just this one time, and then I'm gonna go back to that.
- 10:41Michelle Gauthier: So I think it's empowering either way, even if you decide to go ahead and do it.
- 10:46Michelle Gauthier: Sometimes for me, just working on Saturday for like two hours, working on the weekends on my to-don't list too, but sometimes it makes me feel better than if I had a whole day to not work.
- 10:57Michelle Gauthier: So you just have to figure it out sometimes.
- 11:00Amanda Baron: I agree.
- 11:00Amanda Baron: It helps with the whole decision fatigue.
- 11:04Michelle Gauthier: Yeah, exactly.
- 11:05Michelle Gauthier: You just it's just off the list.
- 11:07Michelle Gauthier: Okay, what was your favorite thing about coaching?
- 11:11Amanda Baron: I looked forward to it every week.
- 11:13Amanda Baron: I think one, it was just time that I set aside for myself, strictly just to work on myself and the things that I needed.
- 11:21Amanda Baron: And I feel like we don't get enough of that.
- 11:24Amanda Baron: So I loved that.
- 11:25Amanda Baron: And then the various different tools that you taught me to implement, but also to really sit in the feelings that I'm having and kind of feel those, recognize those, and then decide how we're moving forward from that.
- 11:42Amanda Baron: And that taught me a lot because a lot of times I would just say, I'll figure this out, I always do, I'll get through this, and not really taking a second to feel those feelings, acknowledge those feelings, and then move on.
- 11:58Amanda Baron: And sometimes I feel like those feelings are what affect you over and over and over again.
- 12:04Amanda Baron: And when I finally would recognize them, you instantly felt better about whatever was making you feel that way.
- 12:12Amanda Baron: Or you taught me, okay, well, how do we remove what's making you feel that way?
- 12:17Amanda Baron: And so I loved, loved those sessions with you.
- 12:21Amanda Baron: And I felt like when I walked away every single week, I felt so much lighter and I had a plan of action.
- 12:29Michelle Gauthier: Oh, that's awesome.
- 12:30Michelle Gauthier: I'm so glad.
- 12:31Michelle Gauthier: Thank you.
- 12:32Michelle Gauthier: That makes me so happy to hear that answer.
- 12:34Michelle Gauthier: I totally agree with you on feelings.
- 12:36Michelle Gauthier: I used to say, like, I don't have time to be sad, or that pisses me off, but I can't be mad about it.
- 12:41Michelle Gauthier: I'm way too busy for such things, which is so silly.
- 12:44Michelle Gauthier: But all that does is just pushes them down to the bottom of your guts and then they come back up and they push them down and they come back up.
- 12:52Michelle Gauthier: Yes, exactly.
- 12:53Michelle Gauthier: So it's like, go ahead and just cry and be sad and see how that makes you feel because you'll feel a lot more relief if you can do that, but it's not efficient.
- 13:02Michelle Gauthier: And when something's not efficient, it's like, I don't have time for that.
- 13:05Michelle Gauthier: But we do either you have time for it or your body will make time for it eventually.
- 13:10Amanda Baron: So true.
- 13:10Amanda Baron: We had many crying sessions, me crying and you listening, and it was so cathartic for me and not something that I typically do.
- 13:20Amanda Baron: So, yes, I would say those weekly sessions were huge for me.
- 13:26Michelle Gauthier: Good, good.
- 13:27Michelle Gauthier: I'm so glad.
- 13:28Michelle Gauthier: So, how is your life different now than it was before?
- 13:32Amanda Baron: Yeah, so I think, like I said, the tools you taught me, I still implement every single day.
- 13:39Amanda Baron: And I'm not perfect at it by any means, but I do feel like I've slowed down a bit.
- 13:45Amanda Baron: I could definitely use more of it, but slowing down to do some of these things that you taught me, the visualization, having the boundaries, the to-done list, implementing all of those so that way you are productive, you are feeling better when you are in these situations that cause these anxieties, that cause these past issues that we worked through.
- 14:09Amanda Baron: And so I feel like I definitely have slowed down a bit.
- 14:14Amanda Baron: I am still a work in progress for sure, but I think that's helped me too.
- 14:19Michelle Gauthier: Yes, aren't we all right?
- 14:21Michelle Gauthier: And Amanda and I were just catching up before I started recording and we were talking about back to school and how that just throws you off your game and it can feel super overwhelming.
- 14:31Michelle Gauthier: I was overwhelmed, be the host of Overwhelmed Working Woman, felt overwhelmed for part of that time.
- 14:36Michelle Gauthier: So the goal isn't necessarily to say I'm never overwhelmed again.
- 14:40Michelle Gauthier: I mean, that'd be fantastic.
- 14:41Michelle Gauthier: I've never seen that actually happen because life stays the same.
- 14:45Michelle Gauthier: Like you're still a mom of two kids, you're still a realtor, you still have a spouse who works a lot of hours.
- 14:50Michelle Gauthier: So there will always be the opportunity.
- 14:52Michelle Gauthier: But the difference that I'm hearing you say is like having the tools and knowing what to do.
- 14:56Michelle Gauthier: So knowing I feel so overwhelmed now, and I also have this bag of tools that I can get out and use.
- 15:03Michelle Gauthier: And in times of stress, it's normal to go back to those old behaviors or ways that you would handle things.
- 15:11Michelle Gauthier: And then we just have to catch ourselves and then, you know, think, okay, I need to visualize having a good day.
- 15:16Michelle Gauthier: I need to double check that I'm sticking with all my boundaries, those kinds of things.
- 15:21Amanda Baron: Yeah, and knowing you can do it.
- 15:22Amanda Baron: So having those bags of tools and and tricks that you taught us, I also think helps with our confidence.
- 15:29Amanda Baron: So I've dealt with this before, I know how to deal with this.
- 15:33Amanda Baron: Like I said, still work in progress, but having the confidence to put those where they belong, to implement them was huge for me.
- 15:41Michelle Gauthier: Yes.
- 15:41Michelle Gauthier: And I think at the beginning you said when I asked how you felt before, you said, well, I just felt like life was crazy and chaotic, and that's how it was always going to be.
- 15:49Michelle Gauthier: And I think if we can remove the last part of that's how it's always going to be, then coaching has been a success.
- 15:56Michelle Gauthier: Because it's like life still throws us a lot of chaotic situations, but knowing what to do with it is really the difference.
- 16:03Amanda Baron: I totally agree.
- 16:04Michelle Gauthier: Yes.
- 16:05Michelle Gauthier: Okay, now I want to ask you the questions that I ask everyone who comes on the podcast.
- 16:09Michelle Gauthier: Number one is what's something you do to make yourself feel less overwhelmed?
- 16:14Michelle Gauthier: Just like a quick stress reliever.
- 16:16Amanda Baron: Definitely walking for me is huge.
- 16:19Amanda Baron: I love to put on podcast books, music, and love to walk.
- 16:24Amanda Baron: That's a quick stress stress reliever.
- 16:26Amanda Baron: And then you also taught me to outsource things.
- 16:29Amanda Baron: So I'm a big outsourcer now, which helps relieve a lot of stress.
- 16:33Michelle Gauthier: That's good.
- 16:34Michelle Gauthier: First, it creates stress, right?
- 16:36Michelle Gauthier: When you're giving away tasks and then eventually it relieves stress.
- 16:39Michelle Gauthier: It's a game changer.
- 16:40Michelle Gauthier: Yes.
- 16:41Michelle Gauthier: And then the second question is what's something you consistently do to save time or do less?
- 16:47Amanda Baron: So I would say I'm becoming very good at the outsourcing.
- 16:51Amanda Baron: I am a big outsourcer now on ordering my groceries.
- 16:55Amanda Baron: You taught me that.
- 16:56Amanda Baron: So that's a big game changer for me.
- 16:59Amanda Baron: And then just outsourcing all the things that I either am not good at or don't want to do.
- 17:04Amanda Baron: And it has given me so much more time and joy back into my life.
- 17:08Michelle Gauthier: That is amazing.
- 17:09Michelle Gauthier: I feel like perfectionism does not love outsourcing because that means the person has to do it exactly perfectly or it's just not gonna work.
- 17:18Michelle Gauthier: And so you have to let go of some of that in order to have somebody else do it, which isn't always easy, but I really think it's worth it.
- 17:26Amanda Baron: I completely agree.
- 17:27Amanda Baron: And having it done is so much better than waiting for you to have the perfect time to get it done perfectly.
- 17:33Michelle Gauthier: Yes.
- 17:34Michelle Gauthier: Yeah, that's such a great point.
- 17:35Michelle Gauthier: Yes.
- 17:36Michelle Gauthier: Amen to that.
- 17:37Michelle Gauthier: Amen.
- 17:38Michelle Gauthier: Well, I know one of the things that we worked together on was you creating your very own podcast, which was actually something near and dear to my heart, not just because you were my client, but tell us about the podcast and how that's going and where people can find it if they want to listen.
- 17:53Amanda Baron: Yes.
- 17:54Amanda Baron: Well, thanks to you, we got it all mapped out and you helped me put it in motion.
- 18:00Amanda Baron: And I'm ever so grateful.
- 18:01Amanda Baron: So it is called Behind the White Coat, and it's basically anywhere you can find podcasts, and it is for physician spouses, and it's kind of like a support group meets advice column.
- 18:15Amanda Baron: So all the things I wish somebody could have taught me being married to a physician, and sometimes it's just me on there giving my personal experience or advice.
- 18:26Amanda Baron: And then sometimes we'll bring in some experts that have a lot of great tips and tricks in specific areas of expertise.
- 18:34Amanda Baron: And it comes out every single week, every Monday, and it's been really fun.
- 18:38Michelle Gauthier: Yeah, that's so great.
- 18:40Michelle Gauthier: And so one of the things Amanda does is helps families relocate to Nashville for if they're gonna do if one of the spouses or both of the spouses are physicians and they're gonna do some training there, or they're getting a new job there, or whatever it is.
- 18:54Michelle Gauthier: So this is a great resource for anybody who's married to a physician, even if you're not moving to Nashville, although that does sound really fun.
- 19:02Michelle Gauthier: It's a cool city, but she's great at helping you think through life as a physician spouse, which I also used to be, Amanda, and I have that in common.
- 19:11Michelle Gauthier: And it was kind of like just figuring out as you go along.
- 19:14Michelle Gauthier: So I'm so grateful for all the people who get to listen to your podcast and not go in thinking, what am I supposed to be doing here?
- 19:20Michelle Gauthier: And why is my life so crazy?
- 19:22Michelle Gauthier: Because my spouse is at work 24-7.
- 19:25Amanda Baron: Yes, yes.
- 19:25Amanda Baron: It is nice to have the extra support and know that you're not in this alone.
- 19:29Amanda Baron: These feelings are okay to have, and you know, it's just a safe place.
- 19:34Michelle Gauthier: Yes, yes, it's a great podcast.
- 19:36Michelle Gauthier: I've definitely listened to it and I love it.
- 19:38Michelle Gauthier: So I'm impressed that you had the time to do that passion project on top of the busy life that you already lead.
- 19:46Michelle Gauthier: So great job on pulling that off with being overwhelmed as little as possible.
- 19:52Amanda Baron: I appreciate that.
- 19:53Amanda Baron: And a lot of that goes to you for helping me map all that out.
- 19:56Amanda Baron: So thank you.
- 19:57Michelle Gauthier: I'm so glad.
- 19:58Michelle Gauthier: We'll put the link in the show notes.
- 20:00Michelle Gauthier: And if you or somebody you know is married to a physician or is a physician, send this podcast their way.
- 20:06Amanda Baron: Thank you.
- 20:12Michelle Gauthier: Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast.
- 20:15Michelle Gauthier: If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at michellegauthier.com.
- 20:21Michelle Gauthier: See you next week.