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Evolving Home Ed · The BIG Home Ed Conversations | Home Education

0:11
Hello everybody, welcome to your next episode of the Big Home Ed
0:15
Conversations. So you are here with myself,
0:17
Kelly Rigg. I'm a home Ed mum of two,
0:20
founder of Off Roading Motherhood.
0:21
I'm a qualified mindset coach and I have a real passion for
0:24
working with home Ed, but also neurodivergent families and
0:27
schooly families. I said kind of transitioning
0:30
into the kind of home Ed lifestyle, which can be an
0:34
absolute minefield of mindset shifting, which can be really,
0:37
really stressful. I really enjoy it.
0:39
My beautiful Co host is Ashley Fenario.
0:42
So she is also a fellow home Ed mum of three and an ex primary
0:45
teacher. So we are good friends and have
0:47
been now for a few years. I must find figure out how long
0:49
it's been. Actually, it's probably been
0:52
ages doing this podcast for ages.
0:53
So I mean like who knows? But essentially, we used to sit
0:57
around the table drinking coffee, getting seriously into
1:02
various topics that we're really passionate about and kind of
1:05
holding each other accountable, building each other up, shifting
1:08
each other's mindsets. And we found ourselves thinking,
1:11
gosh, it would make a brilliant podcast.
1:12
And actually, the main feedback we've had is that it really
1:15
feels like you're pulling up a chair and joining us at the
1:17
table. So we're really glad that you're
1:18
here. Can't wait to get stuck into
1:20
today's subject because it's actually quite a meaty 1.
1:23
And it's something which is quite an interesting one
1:25
considering we are what would kind of be referred to, I think,
1:28
in the home and community as kind of new age home educators
1:30
ourselves. And I think that there's a real
1:33
conversation to be had around how home education in the UK and
1:37
across the world is evolving. It's gone from being quite a
1:40
tight knit, small locally community group.
1:44
Like in a locality, you'd have a group of people who'd be home
1:47
educating and having spoken to some from kind of a more
1:50
traditional setting. I'm talking literally 10 years
1:52
ago, 5-10 years ago. They're saying that the
1:55
community in the past couple of years, especially since COVID,
1:58
has gone from being, say, an equivalent of 30 people to being
2:02
more like 300. And so that ridiculously huge
2:06
growth that they've seen has meant that there's been a
2:08
massive shift in how home education is done and the way
2:11
that people contribute to and benefit from the community.
2:14
And this has its downsides, but it can also have some incredible
2:18
upsides. And so we're going to kind of
2:21
get into that today and talk about the fact that actually we
2:24
don't think this is something to be too scared of.
2:26
I think there's a lot of evolving that's happening, but I
2:29
think that most of us who are entering into the home Ed
2:31
community do care an awful lot about maintaining the good from
2:36
the original concepts of home education.
2:39
And that also we have to remember that whatever the
2:42
concept was 10 years ago is going to be very different to
2:45
how it was 30 years ago. Same and same, right?
2:47
It's going to be always evolving.
2:49
And with the age of information, we're at a real advantage as
2:53
parents these days. We can actually sense what is
2:55
going on in the world and what is important for us and our
2:57
families. And actually it's giving people
2:59
opportunities to try something different.
3:00
So before we get into that, and I hope it's going to be a good
3:05
one, we obviously want to do our gratitude.
3:07
So we definitely need to be talking about something we're
3:09
excited about this week. I know that I'm about to go on
3:11
holiday. So I mean, obviously apart from
3:14
very excited about that first proper holiday of the year, we
3:17
did do a couple of days down camping at the beach just as a
3:19
little impromptu getaway where I forgot the temp holes a couple
3:23
of weeks ago. That was fun, I suppose.
3:25
Not forgot, they just weren't in the bag.
3:27
So I mean, I mean, whose fault is that?
3:29
We'll blame it on the husband because that's always easier.
3:32
But I guess so gratitude this week.
3:36
Do you know what I'm going to be grateful for how grateful my
3:38
children are. I've had a couple of moments
3:41
this week when I've recognized my children being so thankful
3:46
and appreciative, curious, open, saying thank you at the end of a
3:51
lovely day out. Well trained.
3:52
My son is so well trained from the rants that he has
3:55
experienced for me. And usually after the gift shop,
3:57
I'm just like, can we just be grateful for the lovely day out?
3:59
Say thank you mommy. This was so nice.
4:01
Stop moaning about wanting to buy everything from the gift
4:03
shop. But anyway, so they I noticed so
4:05
really grateful after our day out that we had on Wednesday and
4:07
yesterday I brought them home some some new pants and socks
4:12
and some shorts for my daughter and they were just so over the
4:16
moon and thankful for the lovely things that they got for me.
4:21
There was no moaning. There is no, oh, I don't like
4:23
these or you take these back, please, or any of that kind of
4:26
stuff that you maybe would expect your children to be just
4:28
like honest and brutal so often be.
4:32
But I just I really loved how instantly, just like, Oh, thank
4:34
you, mommy. These are it's really cool.
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I love them like this is really great.
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And that just it makes me realise, I guess in those
4:41
moments that I am grateful for them.
4:44
And I tell them often how thankful I am for the things
4:47
that they do for me. And that actually I really see
4:50
that they do really appreciate the life that I give them.
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And I think that's something, if taken a moment to really pause
4:55
and reflect and appreciate that is, is so important because it
4:58
helps us to shake off any of that.
5:00
Kind of like any resentment that's sitting there irritating
5:03
you or that feeling like, oh, they just don't care or they're
5:05
not listening to me or they're making things hard work.
5:08
I'm trying to make them sit and do the maths or whatever it is.
5:10
But if you just actually notice the bits where they are actually
5:12
really grateful and really take, take the opportunities they get
5:15
by the horns as well and they really appreciate what they get.
5:17
It's just lovely, isn't it really?
5:19
So it's a nice, nice feature of my kids, I think.
5:24
Yeah, that's always just the goal, right?
5:25
It's nice when you can kind of see some of that come back
5:28
because it's kind of like seeds, right?
5:31
Like you plant them, but it takes a while to see the result
5:36
there I. Swear.
5:37
I swear. Things that I teach my children
5:39
are a bit like asparagus. You're going to plant the seed
5:41
and you're going to wait 2 solid years before you see it coming
5:43
up. I know, right?
5:45
I know. Yeah.
5:46
I think for me, the thing that I'm definitely, you know,
5:51
appreciating right now and and grateful for was just the
5:53
opportunity last night. We were able to sort of last
5:57
minute do a family dinner and being out at at a restaurant,
6:03
which we don't usually ever do for many reasons.
6:07
You know, it's, it's an expense, It's never as enjoyable as we
6:11
think it will be. Someone's fighting or not
6:13
wanting to sit still or doesn't like the food or we pay for, you
6:17
know, a food that isn't eaten and all of that.
6:20
So there's this restaurant near us that has this lovely outdoor
6:24
area. So it's great is every time the
6:26
kids get antsy, they can go run and play.
6:29
So as long as you go on a nice day, meaning just not raining,
6:32
they can explore outside. And now with the weather being
6:36
not the weather, but the, with the daylight savings, we're
6:40
getting sun much later into the evening.
6:42
And so I mean, we're, it's bright the whole time we're
6:45
there, which is great. I don't think we got home until
6:49
9:00 last night and we were not driving in the dark, so it was
6:54
yes. Keep accidentally looking at the
6:56
time with the kids. Be like it's 9:00, you guys need
6:58
to go, yes. How are you not in bed exactly?
7:01
It is. It's so, so confusing.
7:03
But it was just really nice. Everyone got along and the kids
7:07
even like went to the bathroom themselves, which is like a very
7:09
big milestone. Like I was like, OK, do you know
7:13
where it is? Go Because you know, when
7:15
they're outside playing constantly, they constantly have
7:18
to come in and wash their hands before we eat.
7:21
And so it was either me going to the bathroom with them a million
7:25
times or then managing it on their own because it was quite
7:30
far from the restaurant because it was in a hotel.
7:32
So they did it and that just felt really good, like a big
7:35
check box of independence. So was enjoyable all around.
7:40
That sounds lovely, I think whether or not you'll thank me
7:43
for this, but the the story you're telling me before we go
7:45
on about the the accidental horrendous night sleep people
7:48
had last night after the tiramisu has really tickled me.
7:52
Not thankful for that. I'm not thankful for the
7:54
tiramisu that was clearly made with.
7:58
For. Shots of cat like I mean, I
8:00
don't know how much coffee they put in this, but it was
8:02
definitely like Italian strong get out of bed in the morning
8:07
coffee. I we just all of us were so
8:11
impacted. It was awful.
8:14
That was not I was ready to call the waiter at 2:00 in the
8:17
morning. I.
8:18
Was going to say I think I think that's worth some feedback.
8:21
Do me a favor. Can you make a version of this?
8:25
Seriously, if yeah, if you're serving it for dinner, it should
8:29
not be like, I mean, you should eat college students should eat
8:33
it for breakfast. That that's my recommendation.
8:35
Like there's there's a some gold in there for them.
8:38
I'll tell you, you don't need an energy drink.
8:42
Just just have the tiramisu from Torata.
8:47
Getting into our conversation today, which is 1, which I'm, as
8:50
I say, this is a conversation which came up for me quite a
8:54
while ago actually, when we're sitting planning this series out
8:56
and we find ourselves thinking about some different topics we
8:58
wanted to talk about. And we really think it's
9:01
important to recognise that actually so much is changing.
9:05
And that can be a good thing. It can be something really
9:08
exciting. But actually we can sometimes be
9:11
really fearful of change. And especially when you maybe
9:13
have seen a community or a way of life, a lifestyle I guess
9:18
that has been so beautiful for you and your family and you have
9:21
really enjoyed home education, looking the way it lid for you
9:24
and your kids as they were growing up.
9:26
And maybe you can see a new age home education coming down the
9:29
line. That is not the same.
9:31
And that must be really hard to watch because I think all of us
9:33
like a bit like a little old lady that sat there looking out
9:36
of her window thinking Once Upon a time all of that was just
9:38
fields. And now look at it, it's just a
9:40
sea of houses. Yeah, it can feel really scary
9:43
when stuff changes. Sometimes things aren't always
9:45
for the better. And I think that we can
9:47
definitely agree that there's always going to be downsides to
9:50
change. When a problem feels like it's
9:51
being fixed, often that creates another problem.
9:53
And so it's not always a smooth Rd. but actually when we look at
9:58
kind of what we mean by the traditional home and community.
10:00
So I think we don't know if this is going to be the case in other
10:03
countries. Ultimately we're kind of talking
10:06
to the UK kind of community and how we've seen it as we've come
10:08
into it and what we've kind of recognised from it.
10:11
But ultimately the gist of how this community in the UK goes is
10:17
that it's actually very locally community based, obviously,
10:19
because obviously the Internet is only a fairly recent
10:22
invention. So 20-30 years ago, it would
10:27
have been almost entirely a small group of parents who for
10:31
whatever reason have decided to home educate probably in in a
10:35
large way because of real strong beliefs about the education
10:38
system, etcetera. And have ultimately come
10:40
together to home educate as a community.
10:43
And that would have meant them providing, say, kind of free
10:46
groups and things for each other, resources for each other,
10:49
like they would have planned things to all do together, trips
10:53
to go out and do together. And that ultimately the concept
10:56
of making a profit from the home education community or even
10:59
charging for your time was something that was considered to
11:03
be quite taboo. The concept was you were
11:05
supposed to just keep giving. Like if all of you give, then
11:08
you all receive and then it actually you will just kind of
11:13
serve each other. But I think what's really vital
11:15
to remember and remembering that actually everything still costs
11:19
money to individuals who would have been providing those things
11:21
for the people would have been doing so out of pocket.
11:25
They would have been sourcing things themselves and creating
11:28
these opportunities for their friends and community.
11:31
And ultimately, this model works beautifully when it's a small,
11:37
tight knit group of people who are all contributing, all
11:41
giving, all receiving, and everyone's satisfied and happy
11:45
with what they have in that. But ultimately, as was kind of
11:51
described to me, that obviously with COVID and the sudden burst
11:55
of home education, it's gone from being an equivalent of say
11:58
30 to 300, which means that it's now massive.
12:02
And actually getting people to understand that this is kind of
12:05
how the community was working before.
12:07
Everyone's supposed to be contributing and giving to the
12:10
community and then receiving from it in likeness.
12:13
That actually that is a model which just isn't scalable like
12:17
that, that you end up in small groups of friends for sure.
12:22
But you can't do everything for free.
12:24
It's just not possible. Is it?
12:26
It's, it's one of those things that if you were as a person
12:30
giving, I mean, I, I know, for example, I run a drama group.
12:33
We've managed to get funding for that.
12:35
I run a Co-op which we pay for. We all pay for it equally so
12:39
that it covers the cost of running it and we all contribute
12:42
a week or more to it, which obviously costs money in terms
12:45
of resources that we bring along to do it.
12:47
I run loads of groups and meetups.
12:48
I organize stuff with big venues, like big days out and
12:51
stuff like that as well. And obviously I don't charge for
12:53
my time. I just pay my way like everybody
12:56
else does. Like I if I get any discount, it
12:59
is shared into the overall cost for everyone.
13:02
So it's like these are things where I'm not making any profit
13:04
from doing them, but I'm doing them for the community.
13:07
And so they are still me putting effort and time into producing
13:11
something for other people to appreciate.
13:15
If I was to do all of that completely out of pocket, I
13:20
would not be able to sustain that.
13:21
I do not have the income available to me to do that.
13:25
And I think the truth is that actually most families,
13:27
especially post COVID. So you've got this massive
13:30
uplift in home educators, but you've also got a massive like
13:34
loss in terms of people's investments, their financial
13:38
situations, tougher. Everything is significantly more
13:41
expensive, like 2-3, four times as much as it was five years
13:44
ago. And then ultimately, we are
13:47
looking at families needing 2 incomes typically that actually
13:52
they will really struggle on one.
13:54
And I think we just really have to acknowledge that actually, as
13:56
we're moving into like the world as it is now, the individuals,
14:02
you cannot sustainably produce things for free.
14:06
It just makes it too hard. It it makes it something which
14:09
you just is really, really tricky, isn't it?
14:12
And I think you've also then got the flip side of what free
14:16
means, right? Well, that's that's the thing
14:19
too. It's sort of like, while I
14:22
appreciate that there is this willingness of parents to create
14:27
content to school their kids with, to educate their kids
14:30
with, I don't necessarily want what everyone is making, whether
14:34
it's an issue of aesthetic or content quality or if it's just
14:41
the fact that we're not interested in that right now.
14:42
It would be very hard to necessarily, well, it would be
14:46
hard to follow the child's interests and have an interest
14:51
LED education when you're only able to use what you know.
14:58
Susan down the street makes for science content, right?
15:01
Well, if she's focused on anatomy, but your kids want to
15:03
learn about the ocean, then that's really a disconnect,
15:06
right? And you're going to have to be
15:07
able to adjust your school to allow for your children to
15:16
follow what's available. And then that just feels a
15:18
little bit more boxed in. It doesn't let you have the
15:22
creativity to really move on to a subject that interests them.
15:28
And that is just a small portion of why it's not really working
15:33
for the UK community right now. I think a lot of what you said
15:37
about the community growing and being able to access what's
15:42
happening in the, you know, 2 towns over, For example, we
15:47
participate in a home education horse riding group and we drive
15:51
45 minutes for that. So that's something that I don't
15:55
know that I would have known about that 10 years ago.
15:58
I would have never called that far away to inquire about it.
16:02
But because of social media, because of the community that we
16:05
have online through whether it's Instagram or Facebook, which is
16:10
Facebook is heavily used here in the UK for home education
16:15
activities, communication, etcetera.
16:17
I was not used to that because I just never used it for those
16:20
reasons. And so there is a really strong
16:22
online presence here in terms of the home education community,
16:26
but that also means that you find out about other stuff.
16:30
So it allows you to really expand that community.
16:32
You're not you're not boxed into those 30 people in your town.
16:36
You can really search for what you want on a a larger scale.
16:39
And I think that has a huge benefit.
16:42
Yeah, and I think that when you actually look at the the amount
16:45
of different companies and venues and places that are
16:48
starting to put on events for us as home educators, like for
16:51
example, Marwell Zoo near us are an excellent example.
16:55
They've got home Ed days. They they put on plenty of
16:57
staff, they've got their education central set up with
16:59
those are cool stuff for the kids to look at and talks and
17:02
activities and crafts. You get to go and access it for
17:05
a lower cost, which is really helpful because obviously
17:07
everything costs so much and it's really, really helpful to
17:10
get to go and do these amazing days out for the kids.
17:11
So obviously they just charge what they would charge per pupil
17:14
when it's a school trip. So it just, yeah, but it, it
17:16
stops anybody from having to organise a trip and actually go
17:19
down there, especially just based on like one big group
17:21
having been organised by somebody.
17:23
Like now venues are starting to offer more home Ed days that you
17:26
can just book onto and go, which I think is really helpful.
17:30
But all of this work in in creating those opportunities
17:33
comes from those of us who may may well value paying a little
17:38
bit of something towards something to get to do it.
17:42
But also we we see the value and the understanding that not
17:45
everybody has got the energy to organize a massive group trip to
17:48
go and do that with a group of people.
17:50
And, and ultimately as well as someone who does this quite a
17:54
lot. Just recently, I felt
17:55
particularly let down when I'd organized a trip that was free
17:59
and I posted about it into the group that I run.
18:02
We had over 40 odd people want to come, confirmed it with the
18:05
venue. They're like, oh, brilliant, OK,
18:07
we'll get an extra person in to cover the group.
18:09
And literally a week out it was just a stream of people saying
18:12
they've booked it on holiday, they cancelled, sorry, they've
18:14
booked something else. No, we can't make it now.
18:17
And then on the day half again cancelled due to sickness, which
18:21
I'm going to assume everybody was legitimately sick.
18:24
But ultimately, that was really embarrassing.
18:27
Not just be. Frank like I, I turned up at the
18:30
venue with eight children and it was just like, I just want to
18:35
hang my head. Like I'm so horrified right now
18:37
that you have gone to this much trouble for us and you've put on
18:40
this day and we've taken a day in your incredibly busy Diaries.
18:43
Like we were out of catchment as well.
18:44
So they'd honoured my request for a home Ed trip, even though
18:48
we were out of catchment area for them, that they wouldn't
18:51
even take a school trip from as far away as we were.
18:53
So I'd worked really hard to get them to allow us to come and do
18:56
it. And it was just such a shame to
18:58
have such a small group. But ultimately the feeling that
19:01
that gave me as an individual for like on behalf of the home
19:05
Ed community, like it makes me wonder how they will feel next
19:09
time a home Ed community asks to plan a trip.
19:12
And ultimately it's not even just that it's so yes, there was
19:15
a financial outlaying cost for the venue who were doing it for
19:17
free for us and had put on extra staff to run it and we'd taken a
19:22
slot that other people could have used.
19:23
But equally, we have a person here who has spent hours
19:29
wrangling people, liaising with the venue, planning it, turning
19:33
up. We, we had a family medical
19:38
emergency that week And like, thankfully it kind of semi
19:41
resolved by that point. But I had to leave my daughter
19:43
with my husband, who wasn't well that day either, to, to still be
19:47
there to support the group because I knew that it was
19:49
important for me to be there. And I think it's just a shame
19:54
that unfortunately what can happen when things are free is
19:58
that people kind of feel that there isn't a consequence to not
20:00
therefore utilizing that service.
20:02
And I think ultimately, yes, OK, Is that actually just a flaw in
20:07
human nature and in actually people's respect or manners or
20:11
whatever you might want to put it as?
20:13
Like is that just people not actually understanding that one
20:15
like? Yeah.
20:17
Valuing it. And so yes, fine, that's maybe
20:19
not such a great thing and that is a shame.
20:22
But ultimately I think it's just human nature to kind of when,
20:26
especially as people who tend to enjoy the fact that we enjoy
20:28
lots of freedoms, Our life is very flexible.
20:31
We get to meet needs as and when they come up.
20:33
And sickness aside, obviously completely fair people are sick.
20:36
You can't, yeah, can't tell anything about that.
20:38
It's happened to all of us, Yeah.
20:40
And also plans change and we do have things that come up and
20:42
stuff gets in the way. Like I completely respect it,
20:45
but ultimately we have got a real risk in that in just that
20:52
kind of like that flexibility means that we just tend to chop
20:54
and change and we just tend to want to do something different.
20:56
And it's like, OK, but let's just try and acknowledge that
21:00
somebody has has created something for you.
21:03
I think it's true when there's not skin in the game, right?
21:06
You don't value it the same. Exactly.
21:09
And that's that's true for everything.
21:12
Yeah. And I think that we just have to
21:14
acknowledge that as, as humans, we, we will have these moments
21:17
when we, when we've got other needs to meet and we're allowed
21:20
to want to flex, we're allowed to want to live a lifestyle that
21:23
looks like that. But I guess it's, it's
21:25
remembering that if we want to sustain like so that if we want
21:28
to really appreciate the core of what the home Bank community is,
21:32
it's a bunch of people who are all putting on experiences and
21:35
opportunities to support each other's children.
21:38
And if that, if we want to maintain that support it and
21:40
help it to stay alive, whilst also obviously contributing
21:44
other things and like potentially running classes or
21:46
groups ourselves where we like are charging for that time,
21:49
etcetera as well. Like I say, for example, you're
21:51
a great drama teacher or a music teacher or whatever and you want
21:53
to run a class and like you want to earn money that way so that
21:56
you can actually home educate your kids.
21:59
That I think with we can totally respect both sides to this and,
22:03
and we can still allow them to both exist, but we have just got
22:06
to be conscious of that, I suppose.
22:08
And actually recognising that if somebody is still providing
22:12
great opportunities for your children and you are saying,
22:14
yes, that sounds like a great thing to do, then just just make
22:17
sure you're fully committed, I guess.
22:19
And actually respect to that person, whilst it might be free,
22:22
is still contributing something to make that happen.
22:24
So I guess it's, it's one of those things like we can have
22:26
the core homemade community and the the values that it has.
22:28
And that is a good thing. And it'd be a shame for it to be
22:31
lost because there are people out there, lots of people who
22:34
are, who are very generous and want to put on amazing stuff for
22:36
us and venues, even as I say, who want to see offer these
22:39
opportunities as well. And so let's use them, let's
22:42
appreciate them. If we book a space, then use it.
22:44
And if you really can't because something genuinely has truly
22:47
come up, then try and help that person to backfill it, spread
22:51
the word is to replace you with somebody else.
22:55
Let's let's try and actually continue that that little nugget
22:58
of beauty that is in the homemade community of that kind
23:01
of local community support like let's try not to lose it and
23:05
let's actually respect it because that is a really
23:07
wonderful bit. And it would be a shame to lose
23:10
it, but I think, yeah, that's, that's definitely my $0.02 on it
23:14
all. Anyway, have a bit of a rant,
23:16
OK? Can you tell?
23:18
Well, you know, it's fresh, right?
23:19
It's something that happened recently and it it did, even
23:23
though it was still a fabulous day and I actually thought it
23:28
was way better than I thought it was going to be, which is one of
23:32
the things where I wish I could go back and say to everyone who
23:35
ended up not showing up like before they pulled out and just
23:38
say no, listen, this is the one you want to go to if you double
23:41
booked yourself like this is the one to come to because I don't
23:44
know when we're ever going to do it again.
23:46
And also it was just so unique and interesting.
23:51
But that said, I think that there's also in, in supporting
23:57
our community in that way. There was also this element for
24:00
me being there, part of the homeland community where I did
24:03
feel this like slight embarrassment for us, Like, oh
24:08
gosh, we can't, we can't actually get it together.
24:11
You know, I I don't know, like, you know, it, it just, it does
24:18
put a bad taste in the mouth. Like when these women talk to
24:20
their friends about the groups that come through, they would
24:25
have nothing bad to say about all the kids.
24:27
The kids were excellent and they were involved.
24:29
They had great responses. They, they really showed up well
24:34
as representatives, representatives of homeschooled
24:36
children ever. I think they're going to stay
24:40
like, yeah, they, they told us there were all these kids coming
24:43
and then we actually paid for a second employee that day and
24:47
then we didn't need them. So like, yeah, it just, it just
24:51
felt icky, you know, it just felt like, so I was like over
24:54
the top with like our thank yous and all of that throughout the
24:59
day and just like they just really were great.
25:01
But all of that aside, I think it's awesome to show up for the
25:05
community in those ways, like to take advantage of all the free
25:09
events. And let's face it, we all want
25:10
free events. Like we spend so much money as
25:12
home educators. So the more we can do at no cost
25:15
or just the transportation is like really a win.
25:20
But I'm also equally happy to support parents, whether they're
25:24
local to me or just relationships I've forged
25:26
through Instagram over the years and things like that.
25:29
I'm happy to support moms that are creating content that I
25:32
actually want to use. So whether that is through like
25:36
a teacher's pay teachers website, which I used to use
25:38
when I was educating in the classroom, or if it's through
25:41
just finding moms, whether they're local or again, I mean,
25:44
I use something from a home Ed mom in Arizona, not Arizona,
25:47
have one from Arizona, but in Australia.
25:50
So I mean, that is something that social media and the
25:53
Internet has made our community so large and we're benefiting so
25:59
much from it. Like the amount of information
26:02
that parents will share online just around what's interesting
26:06
their child and let and hey, we're doing this book study and
26:09
look how great this book study is.
26:11
And they'll flip through it and I'll be like, Oh yeah, I want to
26:14
use that. And they'll link where they got
26:16
it from and I'll go pay the five dollars to get them for my kids
26:20
because that is a value to me. So I think there is a way to
26:25
also just support moms who are trying to make a living by
26:29
sharing the effort that has gone into them pulling something
26:34
together. There's even a mom who has
26:37
created a document that just links YouTube videos, blogs,
26:43
like it's a resource document. So her resource is a resource.
26:47
And it's like, if I'm doing history throughout time and I
26:53
don't want to spend the time to go through YouTube videos and
26:56
like check to see if they're actually legitimate, are they
26:59
actually useful? Do they talk about things that I
27:02
want my kids hearing about? Or do they get a little too into
27:05
one topic area that maybe I don't want them hearing about?
27:08
Right. So for example, let's take the
27:09
Civil War. So that's something that is
27:13
coming up in kind of the overarching curriculum for the
27:17
grade level that one of my daughter's is entering.
27:19
If I compare it to the US and what they learn at that stage,
27:22
that is something that I personally have probably like an
27:26
elementary knowledge on from when I learned about it.
27:28
I never did further research on that as a student or an adult.
27:32
And so I'm going to have to educate myself on that along
27:35
with my child. And so that is something where
27:38
if I can actually pay for this woman who spent a lot of time to
27:42
put together her children's education on that topic, I can
27:46
go and buy that for a relative, like a realistic fee.
27:50
And then all I have to do is click a link and I have like
27:52
videos related to everything that's important about that
27:55
time. That is an amazing resource to
27:56
me. And like she could give it away
27:59
for free and she probably started doing that and then one
28:02
of her friends were like, are you crazy?
28:03
This is this took so much time. This is a lovely resource.
28:07
Go put it online and make yourself some money so you can
28:09
keep creating content like this. Like this is how we support our
28:13
this is how we support each other now in my mind, like this
28:16
is how we can help parents who need dual income to continue to
28:21
live. And we all know how expensive
28:23
things are. Like this is an amazing way to
28:26
to support the growing community.
28:28
Like I just think that's such a a beauty and something we can
28:32
all do if it if it works for us. Obviously, I mean don't buy
28:34
something you don't need, but know that these resources are
28:37
out there. Yeah.
28:39
And I think that I know that a lot of people find it quite
28:41
frustrating that as home educators, for example, the
28:44
local authorities don't offer us any funding.
28:47
We don't get any tax breaks. There are no kind of, there's no
28:49
help. If we put our kids into school,
28:51
schools will be getting thousands every year to take
28:53
care of them and to offer their education.
28:56
But obviously that money, if they're not going to school, who
28:58
knows where it goes into something else.
29:01
And I do find that quite jarring sometimes.
29:03
I mean, I obviously have my opinions on what would happen if
29:05
we were given that funding, what kind of hoops we'd have to jump
29:09
through in order to be able to get it.
29:10
But ultimately, I know that there's a lot of states in
29:12
America now that are starting to implement a, a tax break or sort
29:16
of tax, yeah. Or like chunks of cash towards
29:18
parents using them for educational use.
29:20
So they have to like submit receipts and things like that to
29:23
confirm they've used them for something educational, but then
29:25
they get to claim that money back.
29:27
And that obviously allows and also encourages parents.
29:31
And I think if the, if the government at the moment are
29:33
obviously so worried about home educators and the type of
29:36
education children are getting and making sure that all
29:39
children are left behind, etcetera.
29:41
But what I find quite fascinating is that a, the money
29:44
that is given to schools for children's education gets
29:47
nowhere near home educators. If you choose to home educate,
29:49
you're on your own. But all the way up to
29:50
qualifications. They don't pay for GCSEs.
29:53
There's no with them actually getting any kind of
29:55
qualifications at the end of their education.
29:57
But also how much more likely is it that a home educating family
30:01
are going to take their kids to the zoo?
30:02
They're going to buy some good curriculums and resources and
30:05
workbooks. They're going to get them some
30:06
good resources to play with and do science experiments with if
30:09
they know that they've got a fund of a couple of £1000 a year
30:14
that they can submit the receipts to and get that money
30:16
back. I know for certain that my
30:17
children would be doing a heck of a lot more extracurricular
30:20
activities if we had a few more £1000 in the bank every month,
30:24
every year. Sorry, see, every month would be
30:26
lovely. In the states, it's in the
30:29
states, it's it's a lot. So it depends on where you live.
30:33
I know there are different opportunities in different
30:35
States and many don't have anything.
30:36
So I know this is not like a this is probably the minority
30:39
right now, but I have a friend in in Florida who gets I think 8
30:44
to 9000 per year per kid. And she has three kids in the
30:47
school system. So she is essentially getting an
30:49
incomes worth of funding to have her kids do amazing stuff.
30:56
They have memberships here and there.
30:57
They're doing online courses. All the curriculum she buys is
31:01
covered, and now it is a full time job for her to manage the
31:04
Excel spreadsheet and submit all the reimbursements and all of
31:08
that. I mean, it is not without its
31:10
challenge, but who wouldn't do it for that amount of money?
31:14
Yeah. Like and could you just imagine
31:16
the relief? Yeah, the relief of knowing that
31:19
anything you want to do is covered, that you don't have to
31:22
worry about. Can my kid do that drama club?
31:26
Can my kid do karate? Can my kid do this museum?
31:29
Right. Like, absolutely, you can do it
31:31
because it's covered. You want music lessons?
31:33
No problem. Yeah.
31:34
So all of that. Think about all the skills that,
31:37
yes, fostered and created in these kids that 100.
31:40
Percent. Families who often at the moment
31:43
as well, I mean, if you've got to be obvious about the fact
31:45
that a lot of people choosing to home educate at the moment are
31:48
doing so because of disillusionment with the
31:50
education system. Yeah.
31:52
And their child is being bullied or let down or is neurodivergent
31:55
or whatever it might be and they're not being supported
31:58
appropriately. Accessibility of education is
32:00
not being considered deeply enough.
32:03
So I came across the term active inclusion this week talking to
32:07
one of my clients actually. And essentially that the concept
32:10
of it is that you actively ensure that an environment is
32:16
completely inclusive, that you have considered as many
32:20
different needs, human needs, a standard, everybody human needs
32:24
as well as like parents and disabilities and age and
32:29
whatevers. And you, you basically kind of
32:31
get up to a really good standard of accessibility.
32:34
And that the concept of active inclusion is to ensure that
32:36
everybody is thriving in that environment.
32:39
And right now our country is kind of built upon an ablest
32:45
mentality of the short, narrow field of people who have got all
32:51
the skills and all of the abilities and no limitations are
32:55
able to do these things well. And everybody else struggles,
32:58
struggles, struggles, struggles like whether that's in school,
33:02
at home, in work out and about. Actually, if you have got any
33:05
limitations whatsoever, you are probably not going to be
33:08
supported brilliantly in these different environments.
33:10
And obviously accessibility has been coming along and we know
33:13
that obviously like there's ramps into places, there's
33:15
people are being more conscious of things.
33:17
We understand that. But when it comes to obviously
33:19
especially like the boom in neurodivergence and people kind
33:21
of recognizing the traits are starting to understand that so
33:24
many of us are actually autistic or ADHD etcetera as well.
33:28
You are starting to see that actually workplaces, we've all
33:32
known this. I mean, most people, if you said
33:34
to most people like do enjoy your job, the answer's probably
33:36
going to be, well, I don't mind what I'm doing, but I don't
33:39
really like the people or the environment or like the way I'm
33:41
treated. And ultimately a lot of
33:44
different office environments are not very user friendly.
33:47
They're not very kind, they're not very thought out and
33:50
considerate, and like the expectations on people is not
33:53
brilliant. And so ultimately we're looking
33:55
at that in schools and we're looking at that elsewhere as
33:57
well. And so there's just more and
33:58
more people are starting to recognize that actually schools
34:02
are not actively including anybody.
34:04
And so a lot of people are choosing home education because
34:07
actually regardless of their child's needs, their needs are
34:10
just not being met and they want to try and do something
34:14
differently. And I think that honestly, I
34:17
congratulate any parent who decides that actually, whatever
34:21
their lifestyle looked like before, something's got to give.
34:24
Something's got to change. And we need to support our
34:26
child. And they're now out there trying
34:29
to find information. They're trying to do right by
34:32
their kids. And that might not mean that
34:34
they're actually able to give up their full time job.
34:36
And that might not mean that they actually have two parents
34:38
worth of incomes. It might mean that they're
34:40
actually in a really difficult situation right now and also
34:43
still trying to make this work. And so actually all these people
34:47
out there who are producing reading lists and amazing
34:49
YouTube videos and like even just the, even the creators out
34:54
there who just make YouTube videos for free that I'm
34:56
literally able to just go on any subject you want, any subject
34:59
you like. If you want to search for it,
35:01
you'll find a video on it. And ultimately using a few
35:04
subscriptions, like I don't, I don't have any qualms about
35:07
paying for something like Twinkle or for like a
35:10
subscription to other kind of things that have a, a bunch of
35:13
different curriculum items for me to just grab and use whenever
35:15
I want. Like if I can just grab
35:17
something and print it off when we're doing a topic or I can do
35:21
a quick bit of research, find a great blog and someone's given
35:23
me some great tips and ideas. Like I, I tend to quite enjoy
35:26
the process of developing my projects with the kids.
35:29
And so I guess for me, I actually really enjoy that bit.
35:32
So it's, it's not something which tends to bother me, but
35:34
then that's also a privilege that I have the time and the
35:37
energy to do. So there have definitely been
35:39
windows when I have not and I have not wanted to do it all
35:41
myself. And I have come across some
35:43
brilliant people who create these.
35:44
As you say, there's lovely unit studies and projects and all
35:46
rest of it. Let's just be able to just grab
35:48
it and use it. For parents, especially when
35:51
they have gotten a lot of time, pressure is super important and
35:56
I think we have to just be really careful.
35:58
And I guess the point I'm bringing it background to the
35:59
point of this conversation around how it's evolving and the
36:02
homemade community and being quite accepting and gracious
36:05
about individuals doing it their way.
36:09
The homeland community, in my opinion, as I came into it,
36:11
really felt like that actually the concept was you do you.
36:15
We want to support you in being yourself and living your life
36:18
with your kids and providing an education for them in a way that
36:21
works for them. And I think that what we can
36:24
have a risk of here is a divide and a fear that kind of the new
36:29
age home educators, the people who are coming through and
36:31
starting doing it now don't get the traditional community vibe,
36:36
which I actually disagree with. I believe that we really care a
36:39
lot about it and actually we really want to integrate with it
36:42
and we're really grateful for its existence.
36:44
And it's like the ethos that it brings us in terms of and child
36:51
LED education and respecting our children and making sure we're
36:54
treating them as equals. And the way that adults speak to
36:57
my kids as friends. Like if you ask my kids who
37:00
their friends are, they will list some of my my parenting
37:03
friends like they're they're people who they really respect
37:05
and love and enjoy talking to and want to show their things
37:08
to. My daughter was in here just
37:09
before we started this trying to show Ashley her shorts.
37:12
I didn't fully understand at the time why it was that she was
37:14
lifting her dress above her head.
37:15
I was like, why are you reflecting happening on camera?
37:17
What are you doing showing her my shorts?
37:21
There's a But yeah, I think it's just really important to like
37:24
recognise that our that we have this amazing community, that we
37:29
are still contributing to it, participating in it and building
37:32
on it in our localities. But our online presence and our
37:36
wider influence and our interest in evolving home eds, respecting
37:42
mums and dads, I mean, women, the reason why we kind of maybe
37:46
kind of emphasize more women here, I guess is because it's
37:48
always been considered OK for dads to be earning money for
37:50
women. Our work has been underpated for
37:52
generations and I think that truthfully, we've got incredible
37:56
parents out there right now producing amazing resources,
37:59
putting a lot of effort into their home Ed who have the time
38:03
and the bit money and the resources to be able to produce
38:05
these things in the 1st place. Other people who maybe are not
38:08
in such a privileged position are able to then utilize them
38:11
and enjoy them and their kids are able to benefit from them
38:13
too. And that that is ultimately
38:15
still sharing in our community that is still creating.
38:19
It's adding richness and wealth of knowledge and experience and
38:23
ideas and perspectives that allow our children to have a
38:27
really broad and interesting home educating experience.
38:31
And I think that we can see, I can see positives and negatives
38:33
of both sides. I can understand why there's
38:35
reservations and and fears of so much changing and so many people
38:39
coming into a community will obviously disrupt it.
38:42
Like there is no way that like I think flash floods to destroy
38:46
riverbanks, we do this like they, they are going to break
38:49
down some of the barriers and upset the flow, but that doesn't
38:53
mean that what comes next isn't actually potentially going to be
38:58
really, really wonderful and allow the community to grow in
39:01
new and interesting ways. I've literally got a Nile
39:04
reference in my head right now. We've just been doing Egypt.
39:06
It's like the concept of the Nile flooding obviously
39:08
fertilized the. Land and the rate, we recently
39:11
did that as well. So that aside, I think being
39:17
part of this community is a wonderful thing.
39:18
And I think whatever you are contributing to it or not and
39:22
joining in with or not like whatever is suitable for you and
39:24
your family, it's kind of just kind of reminding you that it's
39:27
OK to to participate as much as you feel like participating.
39:31
And obviously, if you oh, enjoying things and getting
39:35
involved with stuff, great. If you want to plan stuff,
39:38
great. If you want to just turn up and
39:39
enjoy stuff, great. Be a part of it in whatever way
39:42
makes sense for you. And I guess it's, it's just, I
39:44
guess the reminder to be conscious of appreciating the
39:49
opportunities that are being put out there for you.
39:51
So making sure you're, if you're using them, use them.
39:53
If you're not going to use them, make sure somebody else gets to
39:55
use them. And and equally like let's just
39:58
try and try and enjoy. Supporting each.
40:01
Other and and adding your richness in whatever form that
40:04
comes in because you are valuable.
40:07
We want to hear what you've got to say like you are as much a
40:10
part of the fabric of home Ed as anybody else, no matter how new
40:13
you are or whatever you're doing in it like you are a part of it.
40:17
And I think I find personally that to be really exciting that
40:20
there's so many new interesting people entering into our world
40:24
every single day. Great opportunities for
40:26
friendships and knowledge and opportunities that yeah.
40:30
And just. No, it's so true.
40:32
And just, I mean, a huge thank you to all the parents who are
40:36
whether you're creating something or scheduling
40:39
something or planning something or just sharing your experience
40:44
and being able to especially those who have been in the, in
40:47
the, I want to say the industry in the community for a while.
40:52
You know, just your, your experience of what you've gone
40:56
through and sharing that back can be so helpful.
41:01
And I think we just always find parents are so willing to have a
41:06
conversation to share what's working, what's not working,
41:08
what they've tried recommendations on, on books and
41:12
everything. And I just want to thank
41:13
everyone for that because that openness to respond to Adm on
41:18
Instagram from someone you've never met or to reply back to
41:22
someone who happens to be in in a WhatsApp group that you're in,
41:25
but you've actually, you don't actually know who they are
41:26
because you've never been to the same meet up at the same time,
41:29
like the ability to just be so open and share everything does
41:34
help to strengthen that community.
41:36
It does matter and it's so appreciated.
41:39
You just never know what that parent on the other end has been
41:42
struggling with. And if they're asking you for
41:44
something and you're giving them some feedback, that is just
41:46
immensely helpful. So I think, you know, continuing
41:49
to stay open and supportive and share your experiences with
41:53
others will go a really long way to maintaining that kind of
41:59
previous community feel that we might be at risk of losing as it
42:04
expands. So thanks for that.
42:06
Yeah. And I think also that.
42:08
Camaraderie and love in relationships that just.
42:11
Yeah, a lot of the people in our home and community that have
42:14
become my friends are truly my family.
42:17
And I have realized more and more as I've gotten older that
42:20
actually, your husband may be an important person in your life,
42:22
but actually your friends are just as important and just just
42:26
as equally important, in my opinion.
42:28
They need just as much and actually they can really enrich
42:31
your life. Yes.
42:32
A big thank you to everyone actually.
42:33
Again, I agree that it's such a lovely thing to contribute and
42:37
be part of something. So thank you for everyone who
42:40
is. But hopefully this has been
42:41
interesting. If you've got any opinions or
42:43
thoughts on it, please do share. As always, you're very welcome
42:45
to comment, like whatever you want to do.
42:47
Yeah. Quick shout out that we are now
42:49
also on YouTube podcasts. So do we.
42:51
We only found out this week that we could list on there.
42:53
So yeah. But I, I got it done.
42:55
So now you can find us on there as well.
42:56
So if you that is actually your preferred listening place, then
42:59
then feel free to to track US down on there now.
43:01
But yeah, so lots of exciting stuff coming down the pipeline
43:04
as well. But keep saying that at the end
43:05
of our episodes. I'm not going to tell you what
43:07
it is because why would we do that?
43:08
That's no fun, is it? But we'll, we'll hopefully see
43:10
you all soon. So you have been listening to
43:12
the big homemade conversations. We post an episode every Sunday,
43:16
or as often as we manage do it. We might have the odd, the odd
43:19
one where we mess it up because of yes, yes there is, there is.
43:23
Five kids between us we have got.
43:25
More than enough and possible interruptions, but we do our
43:27
best. We will be back again with
43:29
another episode next week and we will continue on our series for
43:32
probably another 5 or so episodes and then we'll break
43:34
for the summer as always. So keep keep tuning in and
43:37
please do drop your feedback in. Come and follow us over on
43:41
Instagram and Tiktok. We've got the big home Ed
43:43
podcast and yeah, see you again next week.
43:46
Bye guys, Take care.