Latest / Giving Pain Purpose with Lyndsay Soprano / PCOS + Infertility Trauma

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PCOS + Infertility Trauma · Giving Pain Purpose with Lyndsay Soprano

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This is Your Pain Game podcast where we talk about the game of living in
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and with chronic pain and trauma get into the heart of how to heal.
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I am your host, Lindsay Soprano. On the show, I plan on
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discussing with doctors, chronic pain patients, holistic practitioners, loved ones, and
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anybody that is interested in having their voice heard in the chronic pain and trauma
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world that we live in. Oh, baby making, Let's talk a little
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bit about the baby making extravaganza that is part of our world. Right.
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As fun as it sounds to hop in the sack and get prego, not
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every woman experiences the joy of having get going through the process of having a
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baby, right, especially the procreation side of it. From a very young
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age, I always wanted to be a mom. I mean I did,
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and was some of that from my upbringing, upbringing and just knowing that I
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could do a better job than my parents with my kids. Sure, of
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course there was part of that. Some of it comes from a little bit
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of trauma, which we're going to talk a little bit about on this episode
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today. But I knew going in trying to have a baby that I was
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going to be faced with some challenges. The number one thing was I was
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diagnosed at a very young age with something called PCOS, which is polycystic ovarian
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syndrome, which according to the World Health Organization, affects an estimated thirteen percent
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of reproductive aged women and up to seventy percent of effective women worldwide are undiagnosed.
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It's no big deal, you know, maybe it's okay that we're not
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totally populating the planet more of a seventy percent. That's for you to decide
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how you feel about that. But you know, after having massive troubles with
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trying to conceive with my ex husband, we went through the full gamut of
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fertility drugs, right, and all the doctors that spent the mortgage payment after
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mortgage payment after mortgage payment that to keep failing, you know. And I
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remember sitting in my in putting this episode together, which was actually kind of
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hard for me to do. But putting together this episode and thinking about what
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I've been through to not have a baby, I was remembering sitting in the
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waiting room with all of us girls that all looked healthy. We had our
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diamond rings and our fancy bags and our fancy reproductive you know, doctor's office
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in Newport Beach. It was so gross, and all of us looking at
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each other and wondering what our stories were, and none of us sharing them
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with each other, and none of us going through that journey because guess what,
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we've got it. We've got it. We're gonna have a baby.
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I didn't. I didn't, and I'm in my particular situation as people that
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have listened to this show. No, it's actually very good that I did
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not, But those memories are still here. I mean, stabbing your body
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with needles and drugs over and over again for years is traumatic in and of
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itself. So what can we do to figure out what really has been going
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on with our reproductive systems over the years. You know, we beat ourselves
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up, we judge ourselves, we feel embarrassed, we put on weight,
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We've got like hair growing out of like random places, which is only supposed
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to be for old men, not beautiful young women. And all this makes
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us feel batshit crazy, you know, it makes us feel so terrible.
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So just because I didn't get to the finish line doesn't mean that there are
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other people in this world that suffer with PCOS that can't get there, And
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that is what my guest here today is to help talk to us about.
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So, without further ado, I would like to introduce to you my guest
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today, Carl Henderson. Hello, my beautiful darling. How are you.
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I'm well, how are you, Lindsey? Thanks for having me on.
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Oh my gosh. I know We've been going back and forth about this episode
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and I'm super excited to talk to you about it. And I really want
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to give some hope, which is what we do here on the show,
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to women that I've struggled with it and have conceived, and also those like
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myself who never really ended up getting to that finish line. But you know
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what, it's okay, right. So. Carly is a certified nutritionist,
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premier health coach, and the founder of Charisma Nutrition. She specializes in helping
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women with pcos get pregnant, lose weight, and get rid of their symptoms
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naturally, and maybe a couple little chin hairs while we're at it. Yes,
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this episode comes with a set of tweezers. After struggling with her weight
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and hormones for her entire life, Carly was able to lose almost seventy pounds
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in regulate her cycles and she is now a mom to too busy boys and
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without IVS. So that is just like incredible. So let's get started.
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I want to roll out the real carpet for you, babe and start talking
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about what PCOS is and then let's take it from there. Yeah for sure.
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So for those of you who aren't aware, I mean, Lindsay said,
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it is one of the most common hormone disorders in reproductive women. It's
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actually the leading cause of infertility in North America maybe even the world. Check.
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But it's crazy, it's absolutely crazy. But really, all of these
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reproductive issues are just kind of collateral damage. It's actually a metabolic disorder and
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it's stemmed from a combination of insulin resistance, inflammation, and usually adrenal dysfunction,
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so your stress hormones. It can be brought on by the birth control
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pill, and there's all different types, so we can go into all of
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that, but really, at the end of the day, it's a metabolic
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disorder that throws your hormones out of black and in turn, you end up
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in survival mode and you can't reproduce when you're in survival mode, right,
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Yeah, no, kidding, can't do a lot when you're in survival mode.
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And that's something that we talk about a lot on the show too,
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is the fight or flight? Like my entire body hasn't it been inflamed?
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Jones? And it's been like this for my entire life. And I started
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my period very very young, which you and I have talked about and I've
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been open about it on the show as well. But I started mine when
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I was nine. Can you talk a little bit about when we start our
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mensies a little bit earlier in life and you couple that with trauma, what
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happens to our reproductive life. It's not good. I can tell you that.
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So I was in the same boat. I remember being nine years old.
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It was actually the same summer that my stepmom, who was the only
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mom I had really known in my life, up and left. I literally
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came home from school one day and our house was empty. I had no
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idea what was going on. Lash four. A couple months, I also
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got my period, and my dad had no idea what to do. But
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now as I've gotten older, I have actually learned, And just since twenty
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twenty, there have been a few really great studies that have come out,
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not only linking trauma to early mensis, but also your predisposition to get pcos
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when you have early mensis is completely related. That is insane. And I
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remember hiding when I had started my period because I was young and I was
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nine. I mean, you're in fourth grade, like you're learning about the
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Constitution of the United States or wherever you live. At least for me,
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it was I didn't know, you're in Canada, but here in America,
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fourth grade was the Constitution. And I was raising my hand because I needed
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to go to the restroom, and I didn't know what the hell was going
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on. And I was in a private Christian school that did not basically allow
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me to be a young woman dealing with reproductive issues at such a young age,
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and they gave me detention, Oh my goodness, at school by yourself.
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Wow. And see, you know what I told you before we started
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this, that this episode brought up all kinds of stuff that I hadn't thought
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about. I called one of my girlfriends that I went to elementary school,
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and she was like, do you not remember this? We had to make
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peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and I'm like, oh my god, no,
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wonder So when you don't have people to talk to, and you faked
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it. So I faked it for a long time with my parents until I
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felt like it was okay because all the other girls in junior high started to
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have it. So I came to my dad because my mom wasn't around at
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that time. She was working, doesn't matter anyway, and I had the
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conversation with my dad. I already knew what the hole was going on,
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but I waited and I kept it and talk about suppression. So when we
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talk about the age of Mensis and we talk about the trauma that happens to
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us, infertility trauma, who would have guessed? Can you talk a little
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bit about why that is so wild? Like what the heck is going on
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here? It's all to do with our stress hormone. So already, when
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you have PCOS, you already have a lower threshold to handle stress. Like
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if you're put in the same situation as your friend who maybe doesn't have PCOS
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or having to go through the kinds of things that you've gone through, you're
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already kind of in a chronically low grade level of stress or inflammation. You're
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in that flight or flight mode right like you're a lot more irritable. You
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can be a lot more tired. Something is going to set you off a
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lot easier than say, you know your best friend who maybe handles the situation
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completely differently, and you are just sitting there thinking, Oh, it's just
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my personality. I'm just like that little do you? You know that it's
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all to do with your stress hormones and things that have probably gone on in
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your life. That is insane, because you remember, we all got them
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with our report cards, Like I always got the can't sit still talking out
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of turn. I was in the back row. I was always causing problems
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and like I already know what you guys are all going through, right,
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I'm good. Like I got to do my own thing. And I was
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always put into the detentions and the Saturday schools and I was a wiggleworm and
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I needed to go to a psychologist and the whole time, this is what
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it was coming from. That's insane. And when I looked back, because
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I do a lot of timeline therapy about things that happened in my life and
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what and this is new for me, what happened in my world and why
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my body and my psyche and my emotions responded the way that they did,
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and it always was triggered by something like a traumatic event or something like that.
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And I had no idea that I had anything to do with this.
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This is nuts and it's sad that I'm learning this at forty almost forty six
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years old. We are being let down all around us. So what can
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we do? What do we do now in our world with pcos? Where
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we've got these little girls that are growing up right and we've got it,
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We've got to We've got to educate our parents and our grandparents and aunts and
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uncles and anybody that would be involved in their lives. How can we educate
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them about this and what can we do to hopefully change the cycle of something
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like this happening. Yeah, that's a great question. So I don't want
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people to get the wrong idea and think that all PCOS is caused by trauma.
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It's just one layer in a complex synchrony of things that are going on.
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But definitely education, So if people know that going through trauma, I
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mean, should happens, right, Like, life is not perfect and people
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need to learn to deal with that. But at least in my generation,
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in my household, it was not really supportive, right, Like my dad
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didn't really want to talk about feelings my dad, you know, Like I
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said, when I got my period, I was nine, I had nobody
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just kind of like you. Nobody wanted to talk to me about that.
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Nobody wanted to talk to me about the divorce that was going on, like
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all this awful stuff. Right. So years later I did end up going
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through therapy. But I think just being a little bit more supportive and being
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more aware of the downstream effect of these things in your life, Like you're
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growing, your brain is forming all of these connections, and these are hardwired
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for the rest of your life. Right. It's a very very important thing
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that people need to take seriously. So I think having the support there but
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also just knowing that it's it can be. Even things like exposure to environmental
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toxins can bring on an early period. So in my hometown, we're in
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a very like rural town. We're in Canada, but we're just on the
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other side of the States. Were about an hour from Detroit here and it's
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super rural. Like my town has grown to about fifty thousand now, so
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it's not as small as it used to be. But we're surrounded by fields
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and not organic fields. Let's just say that, right, Like, it's
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a very agricultural area, and all of that runoff goes into our drinking water.
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And yes, you know, our water here is quote unquote safe.
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Personally, I wouldn't drink the tap water. But that's the water that's in
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the fountains at school. That's all these hormones from all of these animals and
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fields are rolling off into our drinking water. And there was actually, way
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back when I was in high school, my town was highlighted on OPRAH because
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we had one of the highest rates of team pregnancy in North America. And
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that's because everybody was getting their period so young, like I was nine,
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and that like for me, I was the only one I knew in my
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class who had their period. But it was like as the years went on,
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it was like, wow, we were all hiding something, right,
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Like it was crazy. Well, I'm sorry for those of you who are
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just listening to not watching my mouth is like down to the dusk, because
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I can't even with that. I'm like, is this flint? What's Yeah,
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it's not far from flint. But I want to say I think that
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is that I think it'd be disrespectful to compare, but I know, but
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still it's me crazy. It's wild. It is wild, and I mean
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I know that. Like my sweetie for example, he's like yeah, yeah,
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yeah, whatever. But like on air on his show and stuff,
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he talks about, oh he makes fun of all this stuff. But in
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behind the scenes, it is legitimately something for us to consider. I mean,
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we think about all the stuff that we ingest and all of the just
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the cortisol that is in the animals and the way that they're killed in which
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we eat. If we don't start looking at all of these things and really
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take ownership of what we put in our mouth and what we breathe and what
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we drink, Unfortunately, it it lies on us. We can't rely on
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anybody but ourselves to make the right decisions for our bods. So with pcos
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though obviously they're all kinds of things that come from PCOS. And the number
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one thing for us outside of all of the things that we just talked about
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is getting pregnant. And I mean that was the hardest thing for me.
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And again, like I said, I'm grateful that I did not get pregnant
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with my ex husband and Wow, what a cliche. I thought that getting
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pregnant would help our marriage, right, good job, Lindsay, gross,
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very very gross. So I'm happy that that didn't happen. But when we're
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talking about getting pregnant, we're going through the stages of trying to because so
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many people around us, and I know you experienced it. I certainly did.
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Everybody like thought about getting pregnant and they could. And I'm like stabbing
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myself with needles and all of these things, and giving myself all of these
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drugs and forcing myself to have sex when I did not want to in order
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to try to procreate and get on all these timetables. That stress in and
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of itself gets in the way of procreation, am I right? Absolutely?
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Like sex should be fun, right, I mean, when you've been together
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for a long time, I mean, it can get a little monotonous,
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I guess, but I mean there like you shouldn't dread it, right,
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like absolutely not, like you're either with the wrong person or something is going
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wrong here, right, Like nobody was designed to have sex every day,
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every other day, for thirty sixty ninety days at a time, Like that's
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impossible, But honestly, that's what the doctors say. It's like, it's
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really hard to spot ovulation. You know. The methods that are out there
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besides blood work are like the ovulation predictor kits, the little sticks that you
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pee on. Those are not accurate for PCOS. It says so right on
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the box. The little apps like flow or ovia or whatever, those are
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not great for PCOS because those are just based on the calendar method, which
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is completely wrong. Right like our methods like I use in my program Navigating
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PCOS Map to Motherhood called the symptothermal method, which is very accurate, but
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it can be a little bit laborous, right. So it's just so much
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to deal with, and just even having that edge with your partner adds to
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your stress, which you know, it just exacerbates everything. Yeah, for
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sure, I'm like, could you just go and like turkey based me,
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like every time I need to do this because I'm going to kill this guy
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if I have to have sexual inin one more time this month. Yeah,
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okay, oh my god. One and don't even get me started on drunk
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sperm because I'm pretty sure that was actually more of the issue than it was
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PCOS. But that's for another show. So when it comes to your journey
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and working with actually I'm gonna step back not working with other people yet.
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I want to talk a little bit about your journey because you were able to
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make two beautiful babies in lieu of all of this, So let's talk about
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that, because you are hopeful for all of these women that have pcos that
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can't make babies. Yeah. So before I was a holistic nutritionist, I
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was a financial advisor. I was not a healthy person. I wasn't,
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you know, like chronically ill. I didn't have any nameable diseases or anything,
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but I definitely ate fast food. You know, just not a healthy
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person at all. And you know, I came off birth control. This
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is back in twenty eighteen. We actually went away to Mexico to get married.
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The day we landed, we found out that we got a house,
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but our offer was accepted on the house that we were looking at before we
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left. So it was like this big, you know, huge celebration time.
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You know, a little bit of drama happened there with a loss,
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and I won't get into any of that, but basically we were in the
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headspace as soon as we were trying to get back from our wedding, we
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wanted to try to get pregnant, like we had this house. We had
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three extra bedrooms to fill. And the months went on and nothing was happening,
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and it just got very depressing, very stressful. I ended up actually
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having to go on a leave of absence from work. I saw my family
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doctor, who referred me to an o B, who referred me to another
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o B. I talked to an endochronologist, and nobody was even doing blood
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work, like finally they did, like the routine labs where and thinking candidates
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free. I would pay for it if I had to write, like,
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I just want to know what is going on. Like eventually my period disappeared
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altogether, which had never really happened. I kind of had irregular cycles,
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but being on hormonal birth control that kind of threw me for a loop as
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well, which happens with a lot of women. But long story short,
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I ended up having to do a self referral to a fertility clinic about an
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hour away and doing all those drives for all the medications. I tried met
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Foreman, I tried pro Vera, I tried letresol, which is similar to
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clomid, and basically after several losses. They were you know, they did
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confirm that I had PCOS, but they didn't tell me why. They didn't
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tell me how this happened, how to get rid of it besides take these
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medications, and said, you know, this is it. You have to
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get on the IVF waiting list, which is in Canada. You get your
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first round for free as long as neither you or your partner have kids.
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But the waiting list is like eighteen months, right, so it was like,
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okay, like, I guess I'm going to go on this list.
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And obviously that was heartbreaking, right Like, I never pictured this, like
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we I got pregnant unintentionally right before wedding, so I thought that I was
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fertile, right Like, I had no idea, So I mean that pregnancy
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didn't work out, but I'd never imagined that I would have any issue,
20:37
right Like. It was horrible, But you know, I said f this
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like I started it. They just kept saying, oh, well, just
20:45
lose some weight, loose some weight. And at the time, I think
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I was maybe like forty or fifty pounds overweight, but not like huge huge,
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right Like, did I kind of cringe out pictures of myself yes,
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but it's not looking at her. She's gorgeous that you can not that right,
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you know what I mean? Like, yes, I was overweight,
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but like I wasn't like morbidly obese, like come on, right, But
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anyway, so they just kept saying, lose weight and you'll you'll get pregnant.
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And so that's what I started focusing on and learning about pcos and insulin
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resistance and you know, flash forward becoming a holistic nutritionist and seeing that okay,
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it's inflammation, insulin resistance and stress hormones that are playing a game together,
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this vicious game, and you can use different things like food and stress
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management, and you know, therapy. I went through therapy, a ton
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of it, you know, not just from my childhood but from going through
21:40
fertility struggles. Right, like all of these things together can help. But
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eventually, yeah, boys, yeah, and that is amazing, the two
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boys from that whole thing. And I mean when you talk about cortisol and
21:53
you talk about stress hormones and you talk about all those things for infertility drugs,
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fertility drugs with my stuff that I have called CRPS, I also have
22:03
pcos. I mean, how many syndromes do I need to have. I
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mean, this is like ridiculous. Everything sounds fake, and I guarantee it's
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not. You know, I went through all of these different trials and tribulations
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and all of this, and what I ended up finding out one of three
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of the fertility drugs that I was on, and I've read neurological journals like
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Till the Cows Come Home, three of those infertility drugs cause CRPS, which
22:30
is what has put me in a wheelchair. And so it has been a
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very yeah a exect. Well said, So we're talking about not only is
22:40
the trauma of infertility affecting us on an emotional level, these drugs are causing
22:45
us all kinds of other issues with our bods, not to mention neurological changes
22:52
that happen. And I am not the first one, because there are neurological
22:56
studies done in regards to fertility drugs and causing things like my self, and
23:00
there are other things that it causes too. It's very, very scary.
23:03
But when you are hungry and desperate to have a baby, there are a
23:07
couple of things that I would like to encourage. One is why, Okay,
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because there's why for everything, Not because your best friend is doing it.
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Okay, don't do that because I did that and it doesn't That's not
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it. But the why we're doing it, and the why that we're making
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the decisions we're making in relation to our body and our bodies alone, getting
23:26
the right doctors, getting the right tests, doing all of these things.
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And this is part of where you come in to help guide women that are
23:33
struggling in fertility to actually ask those questions and to look at themselves and look
23:38
at their doctors and go, you know what, I don't like the way
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that you did this with me. I'm going to change. Don't feel like
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you are stuck with your fucking doctor. If it's not working, if it
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hurts their feelings, fine, get the hell away from them. Do what's
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best for you, your spouse, your body. So how do you come
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in now and help people like myself? Well, I mean, let's be
23:59
real, guys, I'm unhelpable in this department, but helpable for people like
24:03
myself that are trying to people like you that really really really want a baby
24:07
and they want to do it right and they are struggling with pcos. How
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do you come in and help us out? Yeah? So Firstly, if
24:15
you go to your doctor and you're you know, you've been trying for four
24:18
months, six months, and the first thing that they say to you is,
24:22
you know, come back in a year, or you know, come
24:26
back after three losses, or here, take this pill. Please fucking run.
24:30
If they are not addressing any of the underlying issues and they say,
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oh, we don't know what causes it, like, that's complete garbage,
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it's complete bullshit. Is there a cure for PCOS? No, unfortunately there's
24:44
not. But you can go into I will say complete remission, Like can
24:48
you just go back to how you were living before? No, because it
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can come back. But if you do make the right targeted changes and strategic,
24:57
simple, sustainable changes in your life, your symptoms will go away.
25:03
It is trial and error. What works for me is not going to work
25:06
the same for the other person. It's a syndrome. It falls across what's
25:11
the word. I'm looking for a spectrum, right, Like maybe for me,
25:15
insulin resistance is huge, but for the next person, maybe cortisol is
25:19
a bigger factor. Right. So what I do is I sit down with
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women and it's all virtual, but we go through what's called the charisma compass.
25:27
Right, we look at all of their symptoms and figure out, okay,
25:32
which hormones are most out of whack. We can look at blood work.
25:34
That's an option as well that cannot definitely help, but it's not required.
25:38
Then we look at their lifestyle. Right, is your sleep shit?
25:41
Are you really stressed about work? Like? How's your marriage? How's your
25:45
relationship with your parents? Like what is going on? Do you have past
25:49
trauma that you need to deal with? Do you have micronutrient deficiencies? Like?
25:53
There are so many different areas that we look at. So we do
25:56
this very thorough assessment, like I said, called the cur is my compass,
26:00
and then we follow the four step fertility formula. So step one address
26:04
the root cause. Step two address what goes in and on your body.
26:08
So that's not just food, but things like the products that you're using and
26:12
the environmental toxins you're exposed to. Anything from your drinking water, your laundry
26:18
soap, your makeup, hair products, toothpaste, all of that can impact
26:22
your body. Step three is your lifestyle changes. So that's where the stress
26:26
management comes in. Finding joyful movement, not exercising to burn calories, but
26:30
exercising as an outlet, right, exercising to build muscle to help insulin resistance.
26:37
If you're exercising to burn calories, like you're doing it wrong. And
26:40
then step four is to find your fertile window. Like I mentioned before,
26:45
those sticks and those apps don't work, so I teach the other way that
26:49
does work. Yeah, because those things work for the normal person. I
26:53
mean if they if those people even exist, I mean, give me a
26:56
break. But I'm dumbfounded about call me and you've had more than three losses.
27:02
Excuse me. That's why people hear that's my client's come to me and
27:06
they say, I've been to the doctor. I've been trying for six months.
27:10
I've had two miscarriages. They won't send me for blood work, they
27:14
won't do an ultrasound, like it's crazy. Or they'll come back and say,
27:17
my blood work looks normal because the lab hasn't flagged it. And it's
27:22
so important for women to realize that normal from a lab perspective is completely different
27:26
than optimal when it comes to creating another human. Thank you for saying that,
27:30
Like, yeah, okay, you're good, but you're not trying to
27:33
actually, like, I don't know populate the earth. Yeah, Like,
27:38
so corn is all For example, on one end of the spectrum, we
27:41
have Addison's disease. On the other end of the spectrum, we have Cushing's
27:47
disease. Right, so yeah, maybe you don't clinically have Addison's or Cushings.
27:51
Okay, but does that mean that your cotals all levels are normal?
27:55
No? No, if you crashing at three pm, you can't fall asleep
27:59
at night tired but wired, your moody, you have cravings, you're relying
28:03
on coffee, you're not hungry for breakfast in the morning. These are all
28:07
red flags that your cornisol's out of whack. Like, we could go on
28:10
and on and on. There's a ton of them, and of course they
28:11
overlap with inflammation and insulin resistance. But at the end of the day,
28:15
like all of us are stressed, even if you don't have a past trauma.
28:19
Just the way that we live our lives now. Right, Look,
28:22
just a capitalist world, right, like work work, work, people are
28:26
rewarded for not sleeping enough, right, Like, it's it's so messed up.
28:32
It is messed up. And actually, I'm glad that you pointed that
28:34
out because I've been having these very delicate if well delicate, and let's be
28:40
real, everybody knows there's something delicate about me. But I've been having some
28:45
conversations about how I needed to make some changes in my work life because I
28:51
have been an entrepreneur for as long as I can, since fourteen years old
28:53
when I started my first little business, right, it's always been in me
28:57
to make sure that I was okay. I can take me. I don't
29:00
need to rely on any bailias. I don't need a manic all the things
29:03
right, and I know where a lot of that comes from. But man,
29:07
oh man, when you talk about cortisol, that's the first thing when
29:11
you're talking about why I was unable to outside of drunk sperm one hunt,
29:17
I think probably ninety eight percent of my inability to get pregnant was because of
29:22
the massive amount of stress that my body has been under since I was at
29:26
such a young age. Some of it trauma based, but a lot of
29:29
it my work ethic, which is great, but it also does a disservice
29:33
to me in so many places. And I believe over time that a lot
29:37
of my work ethic. You know, put on my Superwoman cape and I
29:41
can shout that off the rooftops has actually been to my demise and has ended
29:45
up being part of why I am as sick as I am and why I'm
29:49
battling the autoimmune stuff that has come into my life on top of all the
29:55
other craps. So, oh my gosh, Okay, I'm well, I
30:00
knew I was gonna have a lot to talk to you about. It's a
30:03
lot, right, Like, well, I'm also like really fucking pissed off
30:08
because how let down have we been? You're talking about these experiences that you've
30:15
had where we're just like brushed under the rug. And I know women experience
30:19
it more than men, but why is it that? Why is it that
30:25
we're so left behind in all of this? Like why why is that?
30:29
Why is it like, oh, have three miscarriages and then come to me,
30:33
where does this even come from? And how do you how do you
30:36
broach that topic when you're trying to support your clients and yourself for that matter.
30:41
Yeah, Honestly, it's when I'm talking with somebody, they either want
30:47
advice or they want a listening ear right, And sometimes I just have to
30:51
be that listening ear and you know, luckily for them, not so luckily
30:55
for me, but luckily for them I can relate. Right, Just even
30:59
to talking to someone who's been through it and who has come out on the
31:02
other side can be just helpful, right, It can give you hope.
31:07
And that's what I really try to do in the women, Like I talk
31:11
to so many women even just on DMS every day, Like, no,
31:14
they're not a client, but am I going to try my best to absolutely
31:17
help them with even the limited information that I have. Yeah, because it
31:22
freaking sucks to go through all of this, Like I wouldn't wish this on
31:25
my worst enemy. And then even you know, going through a pregnancy that
31:30
was successful, Like it got to a point where I would see a positive
31:33
pregnancy test and you know, the first time I saw one, I literally
31:37
jumped up and down. I was so excited. I was like crying.
31:41
We were so happy, Like we wanted this so bad to you know,
31:45
with my second son, especially like seeing a pregnancy test and like being happy,
31:49
but like terrified, right, Like that shouldn't be a feeling, like,
31:55
you know, after having so many losses, like you go pee and
31:57
every time you wipe, like you're terrified of blood. Like I had to
32:00
go through therapy all through my pregnancy because I was so scared that there was
32:06
going to be blood, Like I would shake, i would dread going to
32:07
the bathroom, like I wasn't drinking enough water because I'm like, I don't
32:12
want to go to the like it was an ordeal, right, And then
32:15
something like horrible happened with my second son, Brody. I think I was
32:21
like seven weeks or something. I had a subcoreanic chematoma, which I didn't
32:25
even know what that was at that time. Can you tell us what that
32:29
is? Basically like a big giant blood clot in between the layers of your
32:35
uterus, and I had it basically looked like a horrible miscarriage. Like I
32:42
remember, it was way back in the like it was really nice that I
32:46
remember my husband and I were both working from home and it was the afternoon
32:50
and we decided, like take our lunch break and go for a walk.
32:52
Nothing strenuous, beautiful day. Come back and I'm like, Okay, I'm
32:57
going to go pee then I'm going to get back to work. And I
32:59
sit there on the toilet and I'm like, oh my god, like this
33:01
feels really weird, and it like I like like cramps a little bit but
33:06
not terrible cramps, and I was like what the hell? And I like
33:10
look in the toilet and I wipe and it was like a massacre. And
33:14
I just remember bawling and being like, well that's that. And I'm like,
33:19
oh my god, like I knew it was too good to be true,
33:21
right, Like my husband comes in and like, you know, this
33:23
is a bit graphic, but I just remember like being on my hands and
33:27
knees blood and like reaching into the toilet to try to find this like thing
33:31
that came out of me because it was big, and like grabbing it and
33:36
I'm like trying to see, like is this the baby in the toilet?
33:38
Like what came out of me? Like what is this? And like it
33:43
was horrible, absolutely horrible, Like I went I put it in a wat
33:46
of toilet paper and then in a baggie and I couldn't even really look at
33:51
it. But it was big enough that it filled up my fists, like
33:52
my palm and it was red and it was just blood. Like it was
33:57
awful. So I go to emerge and then finally they get me in and
34:01
they're doing an ultrasound and they're like, well, there's this heartbeat and I
34:07
was like, and I'm not even joking. I looked at this ultrasound technician.
34:09
I was like, are you fucking crazy? And she's a baby.
34:14
It is next to me. I like, not loud, but like she
34:21
turned the screen around, which usually they're not allowed to do here, like
34:23
the texts, Yeah, they're not supposed to do that here either. So
34:28
anyway, she turns the screen and she's like, no, look like that's
34:30
your baby, and I was like what. So I'm like and my family
34:36
didn't even know I was pregnant at this time, because like before, whenever
34:40
I would get pregnant, I would like tell them within a couple of weeks
34:43
because I was so excited, not like put it on the internet, but
34:45
tell you know, my sisters. And I got to a point where like
34:50
I didn't want to tell anybody because I just was so sick of going through
34:52
all these miscarriages. So that's how they all found out that I was pregnant
34:57
was because I was in the hospital because I thought I lost them. And
35:00
so yeah, like again I was already so scared of things. Now I
35:05
have this condition that literally bled for weeks and like it's too early to feel
35:09
the baby, like it was just horrible. But I just wish that women
35:15
would just switch their mindset from I just want to get pregnant, you know,
35:19
give me all these medications, give me all these things to just get
35:21
me pregnant, to I need to prepare myself to have a healthy baby,
35:25
a healthy pregnancy, and a healthy me because these fertility clinics are not judged
35:30
on the amount of live healthy burst. They're judged on positive pregnancy tests.
35:35
And I'm sorry, but coming from somebody who has gone through it, and
35:38
from talking to and working with tons and tons of women who have also gone
35:43
through it, it's not worth it. Like you know, yes, it
35:46
might take you six months to get what you're looking for, but I can
35:51
tell you that it's worth it me. You're going to be amazing today.
35:54
I have so many things and I don't want it. I didn't want to
35:57
interrupt you in any of that. I did happen to throw in that really
36:00
tacky baby in a zip block bag thing. But you know what, honestly,
36:04
that is exactly how it felt that you felt, like what a horrible
36:09
feeling, And it is horrible feeling I've I've had. I ended up after
36:14
everything was all saddened down. Not with my ex husband. I ended up
36:17
getting pregnant down the road and I ended up losing it, and that's okay,
36:24
But I was My body was actually okay at that point in time,
36:30
which completely supports what you're saying, like we are under such massive amount of
36:36
like we've got to keep up with the joneses. You know, we've got
36:37
to have the babies. We've got to do this, we have to do
36:39
it in this timeline. I blame a lot of that on baby boomers,
36:43
because that was just part of the thing. Get you go to high school,
36:45
you go to college, you get married, you pop out kids.
36:47
That is not at all how my life ran, and quite frankly, I
36:51
really didn't want it to go that way. But I was following the norm
36:54
of what you were supposed to do. And all my girlfriends were getting married
36:58
and having babies and they had problems I did. Did they experience a lot
37:02
of the trauma that I had as a kid. Not so much. Some
37:05
of them did, though, So you know, there it's you have to
37:09
approach everybody's body as every body. We are all different. So if they're
37:15
gonna say, hey, take met foreman, take all these other drugs,
37:17
drugs, drugs, drugs, drugs, drugs, instead of hey have you
37:22
gone doing? Have you done any walks lately? Are you exercising? What
37:27
kind of food are you putting in your body? Like none of that was
37:30
part of any of my fertility journey. Not one doctor said anything outside of
37:37
you might need to lose some weight to your point, because I was a
37:38
little bit heavier at the time, lose a little bit of weight and you
37:44
know, eat better. I ate fine. I never have eaten crappy to
37:52
that. It's like, what's healthy for one person is not necessarily healthy for
37:55
somebody with pecs. People might think that having a yoga than an orange for
38:00
breakfast is a healthy thing somebody for pcos that is a recipe for disaster.
38:05
That is going to one which is going to spike your cortisol. Like it's
38:08
just not it's not good, right, Like, just have a smoothie,
38:13
you'll be fine. No, I won't actually stop telling me to put food
38:17
in a blender. And literally clients will come to me and say, yeah,
38:22
my doctor said, you know, follow the food guide and it's like,
38:23
oh my god, I think there's like seven to eleven servings of grains
38:28
on the food guide. It's like the bottom of the bread, right,
38:31
yeah, And it's like, okay, no, you don't necessarily need to
38:35
be keto, but we need to be strategic here because the way that two
38:37
hundred calories of cookies versus two hundred calories of broccoli influences your hormones on your
38:44
body is completely different. Like never mind, you know already being predisposed because
38:50
of everything else that has gone on in your life and you know the shitty
38:52
water and food supply that you're dealing with, Like h yeah, And this
38:59
is something we talk about lot. Here is about getting curious and if the
39:02
practitioners that are within our lives. And I'm going to say this until the
39:07
end of time on this show, which is Western medicine is great for some
39:10
shit and it's bad for a lot of other shit. And this is where
39:16
we have to be our own advocate, and we have to look about what's
39:21
important to look about, look at what is important to us. What how
39:25
is my body responding to Like, for example, gluten For crying out loud,
39:30
I know everybody hates the word gluten free, but goddamn it, there
39:32
is a reason why it is a huge problem. But my body is different
39:39
than yours. My needs are different than yours. If you don't go through
39:43
the motions to figure out what your body actually needs yours, how you metabolize,
39:47
Are you even absorbing any of the nutrients that you're getting in your body?
39:52
And that was my problem is you can take you can spend fifteen hundred
39:55
dollars a month on supplements and you are literally just peen and pooping out and
40:00
they're not even doing a damn thing in your body. Until you find out
40:02
what your body is even capable of absorbing and if it's doing anything. So
40:07
there's a lot of steps that we need to do because our culture, our
40:10
food, our products, our doctors, all of it have screwed us all
40:15
up. And until we walk in and go I'm in charge, not you,
40:21
then that's when we can start making a difference. And it's somebody like
40:22
you by our side that can help us make more babies. Yeah, it's
40:27
literally my doctor, My family doctor now has gotten to know me a little
40:30
bit more over the years, and he kind of in a very respectful way.
40:36
He's a nice man, but he's kind of accepted that he's just a
40:38
lab work signer. At this point, he's like, Okay, what do
40:43
you get in h what are you getting done now? And it's like,
40:45
here's my list, And he doesn't fight me on it anymore. If there's
40:50
a test that's not covered by you know, the Canadian healthcare system, that's
40:52
final paper, and he's just like, Okay, he doesn't even call me
40:57
with my results anymore. I just view them online, like you know,
41:00
and I kind of find myself lucky in that way, but I know how
41:04
to interpret them. So, you know, somebody else that's you know,
41:07
an unfortunate circumstance that you kind of do have to be your ound advocate.
41:10
But working with somebody who will take the time to get to know you and
41:15
be on your side and fight for you. I mean nothing against these doctors,
41:21
like how can they be a specialist in everything? Right? Like how
41:23
are they supposed to be a specialist in everything? Like they are only using
41:28
the tool that they were given, which is their prescription pad. Right.
41:31
But on the other end of things, like you know, if I'm in
41:35
a car accident, please bring me to the hospital, right. I had
41:37
my kids in the hospital. But when it comes to chronic illnesses and preventative
41:43
treatment, our system in Canada and the US is just completely broken, right,
41:49
It's all backwards. It's just it's not right. It isn't and it
41:52
fails. It certainly has failed me. I can only speak to my for
41:54
myself, and you can speak for yourself as well. And unfortunately, every
41:59
single guest on this show says the same thing. And so here we are
42:05
as a little troop of people getting together and we're having these conversations to help
42:09
make a change. Even if we changed one person today, then you and
42:15
I came here and did the right thing right, And it is all about
42:19
advocacy one hundred percent. Because I am so tired of saying the same thing
42:23
over and over to yet another doctor. That's why I just stopped going,
42:28
like, you know what, I have more medical degrees on my walls.
42:32
Well, of course they don't, but I should have more medical degrees than
42:37
any of these doctors, because I am curious about why these things have been
42:42
happening. And the ripple down, the trickle down. I don't really love
42:46
using trickle down, especially here in the United States of America, but that
42:51
rolldown of the crap that doctors gave me when I was at such a young
42:55
age, and the things that they did that they thought were was the right
42:59
way is so wrong. And I will give a little bit of credit to
43:05
science and us moving forward. I mean, things were a little bit different
43:07
twenty years ago, right, Okay, so we've learned more, but things
43:12
weren't that different a year ago. Things weren't that different too, three four
43:15
years ago. Right. So we have to learn from the mistakes of doctors
43:20
and practitioners that have let all a lot of the people in our lives down,
43:24
but also ourselves learn from those mistakes and get curious about why, and
43:30
then and apply those to our own lives and go, hey, wait a
43:32
second, when I eat bread blah or you know what I mean, Like
43:37
being aware of your body and knowing that this does this to my body,
43:42
so I should stay away. It's just like a hot stove. You know,
43:45
I don't put my hand on a hot stove. But Grandma take I'll
43:49
take a bunch of bills, Like what the hell? Yeah, Like it's
43:52
something to be said that, you know, science is at its peak.
43:57
Information is you know, we've never had more information at our fingertips, yet
44:01
as a society, we've never been sicker, and fertility rates have not been
44:07
lower, right, Like there are so many people are struggling with things that
44:12
it's like, Okay, we have the science, we have the information,
44:15
Like where is this disconnect? Right? And I think it goes back to
44:19
that point that you said, like everybody is individual, and that is part
44:22
of step one finding your root cause. Is I start everybody with an elimination
44:27
diet because there's so much misinformation out there, particularly about PCOS, but you
44:31
know, any condition in general. I'm sure that you know this guru and
44:36
that doctor and that specialist. Everybody has their own opinions. And everybody's trying
44:38
to say everybody with PCUS needs to give up gluten and dairy, and then
44:43
you've got somebody else saying everybody with PCs needs to go keto, right,
44:45
And it's different things work for different people, right. We all have different
44:50
genetics, we all have different experiences. Some people are not able to stick
44:53
to that. So starting with an elimination diet and trying, hey is gluten
44:59
a trigger free? Right? How do you know unless you try it?
45:01
And I can't tell you a single doctor who has even mentioned that to any
45:06
of their clients or patients whatever. Whatever, it's frustrating it. Honestly,
45:13
just like grinds my gears. Well, all of this grinds my gears.
45:16
Because you and I both have seen the gross and yucky side of it.
45:21
You were able to through all of it and without IVF, without the stuff
45:27
that they were trying to get you to do, you were able to prove
45:31
that this actually works better. And I have too healthy babies because of it.
45:36
Yeah, And like there are different, you know, severity levels of
45:40
PCUS, and I would say that mine was pretty severe. Like my period
45:44
disappeared, I had chin hair, I had you know, all of these
45:47
things. I was getting acne all around my chin, which I never even
45:51
had acne in high school. Like just craving, Like it got to a
45:54
point where I'd be working at the bank, and you know, I would
45:58
pack lunch and I have an afternoon snack and then I was so hungry that
46:04
and just all these uncontrollable cravings that like I couldn't even get from work to
46:08
home without stopping at a drive through several days a week before I would go
46:13
and get supper or go home and cook supper, and then I'd hide the
46:15
evidence for my husband because he knew I was trying to lose light. So
46:19
it's like right, like it can even create like this horrible relationship with food,
46:24
Like it's really on all levels, right, like the stress you're eating
46:28
your feelings, but then you think, oh, I just have shitty willpower.
46:30
Little do you know? You're in this state of fight or flight which
46:36
makes you want to eat like h yeah, or drink yeah, or drink
46:40
yeah, which was part of my problem talk about insulin resistance. You're like,
46:45
Okay, I'm just gonna drink through these feelings because I can't get pregnant,
46:50
so maybe getting drunk will help. No, it doesn't help yahes,
46:52
it doesn't. It only just makes it worse. So between chin hair and
46:58
weight loss and pop out babies, I think you're doing pretty good. Thank
47:02
you. I mean I still get a stray here there. Don't get me
47:05
wrong. Like I said, we can't cure it, but do I have
47:07
to carry tweezers in my person, in my van and in all my bathrooms?
47:12
And you know no, thank God. But I love because the tinair
47:17
thing is so funny. Because my sister tuexted me last night, well this
47:22
is going great, She's gonna love this. I love you Carrie, I
47:25
just plick, I just plucked a two and a half inch hair out of
47:29
my gin. So tonight's oh my god. No, my sister, actually
47:34
she's my stepsister. We're not so like we're not genetically related, but we're
47:38
only three Houns together. It's my best friend, like since we were two
47:44
and three. And she got married September twenty twenty two. Yeah, so
47:52
anyway, she has horrible PCUS and she knew before I did, and she
47:55
actually had way more symptoms than I did. Like her wedding, like she
48:00
was crying because she had a breakthrough blee that almost got all over her wedding
48:05
dress. It was all gone, and she was upset because you could like
48:08
see her facial hair like through her makeup on her wedding day. But she
48:15
also made changes and bam, Like my nephew was born a month ago,
48:20
December sixteenth, so I love it. Well, Happy birthday to your nephew,
48:25
thank you, and happy birthday to you know, your sister, and
48:29
everybody's continued to inherit growth. So sorry, we always have to we always
48:36
have to have a funny spin around here. So I know that you have
48:40
a you've been through the gamut, and you have had two successful, wonderful,
48:45
beautiful babies, but not for the loss of some others. And I'm
48:49
so sorry that you have been through that. I went through one, and
48:52
so I understand the hard the hardship that comes with that. We weren't trying,
48:55
which is so unbelievably weird in the mix of what I was going through
49:00
in my previous marriage, but it really does support the chronic stress, crazy
49:07
environment that that was at that time, and I was trying to conceive versus
49:12
the one one that's just like, what are you crazy, which came with
49:17
a loss, but it actually was a good for the time of our life.
49:21
It actually ended up being a blessing in its own way. So I
49:23
look at it a little bit differently than I would have dooring when I was
49:28
really trying to So you work with your clients and you've got all kinds of
49:32
support for everybody that is looking for help in PCOS. And I know that
49:37
you've got a PCOS cheat sheet that you have on your website, which IM
49:40
gonna put in show notes. I'm gonna put all of your stuff, But
49:43
can you talk a little bit about your offering and what you've got going on
49:45
for people not unlike you and myself. Yeah. So my signature program is
49:52
called Navigating PCOS Map to Motherhood. It's a sixteen week program where we work
49:58
one on one and again it's hard to really go into everything that we cover,
50:04
but it's such a personalized approach. We use that four step fertility formula
50:07
to go over everything, and we cover nutrition, stress management, sleep,
50:13
timing, sex, properly talks and detoxing, supplements, avoiding talks and like
50:20
making simple swaps. There's all kinds of things that we cover. Lab work
50:23
is an option, but if you do want to go on my website just
50:27
to see what I have out there, I have some free things. There
50:30
is a labs guide, so if you want to know what blood work you
50:34
should get done, there's a free labs guide on there and it is pretty
50:37
extensive, but it is worth it. So I do recommend getting most of
50:43
that stuff done. If you want some help, you know, reading out
50:45
the absolute best test, feel free to dm me on Instagram. I also
50:51
have a supplements cheat sheet and then my latest thing, just because it's the
50:55
new year, I created a PCOS to Pregnancy for Time planner, so you
51:00
can have all of those for free, which can make a huge difference for
51:05
a lot. There's a lot, I know, I know, but you
51:07
know what, it is so much better to do the little bits of work.
51:10
Even though it sounds like a lot, it's actually more. It's actually
51:15
less work now than it is when you're failing, and you're failing and you're
51:20
sick, and you're tired and you're exhausted, and then you get into a
51:23
very, very vulnerable state where you will say yes to anything, you will
51:29
spend any amount of money because you've gotten to this place of frustration. And
51:34
one of the things that excuse me. One of the things that Carly and
51:37
I talked about early on when we first met was validation. And when you
51:43
get these test results and when you go through the motion of finding out X,
51:47
Y and Z, and you get validated and the feelings that you have,
51:52
you get validated in the things that you've been talking about, going this
51:54
is what's happening. Why don't you listen to me? Why aren't you under
52:00
standing what I'm going through. When you do get the right kind of test
52:05
results from the right people that care about the right things, you're validated and
52:10
you will move in a completely different direction in your healthcare. And that's not
52:15
just with PCOS and getting pregnant, it is with anything when it comes to
52:17
your health. And so I applaud you for taking care of all of us
52:22
in this world of PCOS. And there are so many people that have been
52:25
on the show and that will continue to be that support this type of work
52:30
because it's the only work that I support doing it the right way instead of
52:35
the wrong way, because I've done it the wrong way for so many years,
52:37
but not because I'm stupid, but because we followed what everybody told us
52:42
to do. So now it's time to take your health into your own hands.
52:45
That's it. Yeah, And you don't have to do it alone either.
52:47
I think that's another big thing that I want people to realize is you
52:52
know, you're going to save a lot of time by finding somebody like you
52:55
know, maybe you're an accountant, you know, stay in your space,
52:59
do your accounting. Maybe that's something that you're really good at. Leave these
53:02
other things to the professionals. But make sure it's somebody who is on your
53:06
side and who will take the time to get to know you. Amen,
53:09
Because if they don't, if they don't care and they're not curious, and
53:13
then I'm not asking questions, stand up and walk out. That's it.
53:16
Way, find somebody else. Does not mean you have to take it.
53:22
Does it mean you never take it? No, it just should not be
53:24
the first line of action. Yes. Absolutely. Thank you so much for
53:30
being here today and obviously giving us a message of hope, which is always
53:34
how we leave our show. Is there anything else that you want to leave
53:37
us before we hit the dusty trail here? No, thank you so much
53:40
for having me on. And again, I'm really sorry for everything that you
53:43
went through. I know everything happens for a reason, and I'm glad that
53:45
you have that mindset. But it doesn't mean that it's easy, right,
53:50
especially you're talking about it. It does bring up a lot of stuff,
53:52
like, you know, reliving some of the traumas that I went through,
53:55
Like, oh, it just makes me sick to my stomach. So thank
54:00
you for being so supportive and creating the safe space for not only myself but
54:04
for your entire show. I love it and I'm so glad that I got
54:08
to finally be a part of it. So thanks for having me. Oh
54:10
my god, thank you so much. It was such an interesting topic.
54:15
When you popped up in my world, I was like, oh my gosh,
54:17
I didn't even think about PCOS because I forgot. I forgot how hard
54:24
that all was. I really did, so thank you for bringing that back
54:29
up. No, it's been great because it really actually it actually made me
54:37
really blessed for where I am right now and the journey that brought me to
54:42
where I am. And it also made me realize that all the things I've
54:45
learned over the past few years about health and wellness and trauma, I don't
54:51
feel bad anymore because of you and this episode, because I didn't before.
54:58
You just beat yourself up about that kind of stuff, and you helped me
55:00
not and I didn't even realize that. I still was so thank you.
55:05
She is going to be on all the socials. You can find her at
55:08
Charisma Nutrition dot com. She's on instat Chrisma Underscore. I know we've got
55:14
to throw the underscore and they're just to shake things up nutrition. She also
55:17
is a Facebook group PCOS Fertility and Weight Loss, amongst all kinds of the
55:22
other things that she talked about. It will all be in show notes.
55:23
It will be on Instagram, on Facebook, on all the socials, Thank
55:28
you so much again for your time with us today. I really appreciate it.
55:31
Thanks Lindsay, You've got it. You are exclusively invited to share this
55:37
feel better in your fertility journey, including a free little tweezer for that chin
55:42
hair vip pain journey together, let's get to the heart of how to kiel
55:46
With you by my side. I would love to connect with you or anybody
55:52
that has heartfelt stories about anything that you guys have been through. If you've
55:54
bought problems with pcos and infertility, please reach out to me, Please out
56:00
to Carly. We are here for you. We are a safe place to
56:02
unleash and share your incredible stories, even if it's on Instagram, in behind
56:07
the scenes and a DM. You don't have to be on the show to
56:09
share your feelings and your love. We've got you. Please follow the Pain
56:14
Game Podcast wherever you digest your podcast content, we will be there. Visit
56:19
us at the Pain gamepodcast dot com and follow us on all the socials.
56:23
Thanks for listening, my little VIPs. Catch you on the other side.