Latest / Walking with Jaguars / #3 - Sarah Connolly - Living A Life In Prayer

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#3 - Sarah Connolly - Living A Life In Prayer · Walking with Jaguars

• 0:11
  Welcome everyone back to the Walking with Jaguars
• 0:14
  podcast. Today I have a very special guest. Her
• 0:17
  name is Sarah Connolly. She is an ayahuasca dieter.
• 0:21
  She is a space holder. She is a transformation
• 0:24
  guide and the host of the Big Little Soul podcast.
• 0:31
  Thanks for coming on. I'm excited for the conversation.
• 0:34
  Is there anything you would add to the labels
• 0:37
  of identities that you give yourself? Honestly,
• 0:42
  I've just been really gravitating more towards
• 0:45
  just being a forever student of this path. I
• 0:48
  recognize so many of those labels are exactly
• 0:50
  that. They're just labels. They're just part
• 0:54
  of the identity and what it likes to cling to.
• 0:56
  And I'm very much so in a chapter right now where
• 0:59
  I'm inviting myself to let go of those. And yeah,
• 1:03
  I feel very honored to be here. So thank you
• 1:06
  for inviting me. And, yeah, just before coming
• 1:10
  on today, I just found myself just in prayer,
• 1:14
  just really dropping into allowing whatever is
• 1:21
  meant to come through to come through. And you
• 1:23
  had asked me just before we came on, do you want
• 1:27
  to know the questions that I'm going to ask you
• 1:29
  today? And I noticed that there was that piece
• 1:31
  of the identity that was like, yep, I absolutely
• 1:33
  want to know everything that you're going to
• 1:35
  ask me so that I can prepare. And that's just
• 1:40
  the invitation that I'm inviting myself into
• 1:42
  right now is to meet that edge of always wanting
• 1:46
  to be prepared and have the answers and to show
• 1:51
  up as the quote unquote teacher. And the more
• 1:55
  I walk this path, the more I recognize that,
• 1:58
  no, I'm just a student and I'm learning. And
• 2:01
  so my invitation for myself today. and for those
• 2:05
  listening, is to just show up with curiosity
• 2:09
  and to soften to that space of allowing and allowing
• 2:15
  the stories to dissolve, allowing my own beliefs
• 2:17
  to be challenged, and just trusting that whatever
• 2:21
  is meant to flow through in this conversation
• 2:23
  is going to. Yeah. Oh yeah. It was like, uh,
• 2:27
  when I asked you, do you want to know the questions
• 2:28
  or do you trust in what's going to come through?
• 2:31
  And you're like, I trust it was like, good answer.
• 2:33
  You know, like that's, that's the real shit,
• 2:35
  you know, like it's so easy to come with like
• 2:38
  all these like logical kind of like rational
• 2:41
  answers, but like just showing up and you know,
• 2:44
  that's, that's the real shit. Uh, yeah. The,
• 2:48
  what you said then about the. like the tags and
• 2:50
  labels is like kind of funny i'm currently taking
• 2:53
  spanish classes and when you talk about your
• 2:56
  profession it's it's always uh it's like true
• 3:01
  you know and then there's things where it's like
• 3:03
  temporary you know like i'm happy temporarily
• 3:05
  you know but like i am of this profession and
• 3:09
  as like someone who's just like walked this path
• 3:12
  and followed my curiosities like i've done a
• 3:14
  million different things You know what I mean?
• 3:16
  There's a million labels. It like almost doesn't
• 3:18
  make sense to use any of them. Yeah, 100%. I
• 3:23
  remember, I don't know if you were on this call
• 3:26
  with Ryan, who for those listening is kind of
• 3:29
  a shared mentor of both of us or has been for
• 3:32
  some time for both you and I. I remember when
• 3:35
  he shared, if you've found your purpose, you're
• 3:39
  lost. And I remember being so triggered by that
• 3:42
  initially. And now it... It just makes so much
• 3:46
  more, I don't even want to say it makes more
• 3:47
  sense because I feel like even that statement,
• 3:49
  this is why I find language so limiting. It's
• 3:51
  like, oh, it makes sense. It's like, oh no, that's
• 3:53
  just the mind making sense of it, right? But
• 3:55
  it just, I can feel it at a different level,
• 3:58
  at a different depth than I did before. And it's
• 4:00
  like, oh yeah, like if we have constructed this
• 4:02
  idea of like, oh, I know what my purpose is,
• 4:05
  we're just living in the mind. Because if we're
• 4:07
  actually allowing ourselves to be a student of
• 4:11
  this path. we are ever evolving and that purpose
• 4:15
  is ever evolving and so the identities are just
• 4:19
  they're just so transient when we get to that
• 4:21
  state of being yeah and i see that so often you
• 4:26
  know where like you have and like in myself too
• 4:29
  i'll have a calling to go somewhere you know
• 4:32
  to like change locations to change careers to
• 4:34
  do all these things and you feel this like you
• 4:38
  can see the path but it's like from an outside
• 4:42
  perspective and then once you land on it it's
• 4:45
  like fuck where did it go you know and it's like
• 4:48
  because you're actually just on it and like you
• 4:50
  can't help but live in the moment you know and
• 4:54
  like everything just comes to you yeah yeah yeah
• 4:58
  this is a beautiful reminder too because it is
• 5:03
  so easy to get lost when we're in it but to be
• 5:06
  able to zoom out and and rediscover that perspective
• 5:11
  and to trust in the soul and in those potentials
• 5:14
  that are awaiting us it it just it shifts everything
• 5:20
  how you approach everything in life oh all right
• 5:25
  I think to start us off I think it'd be fun if
• 5:28
  the listeners or viewers had an opportunity to
• 5:32
  learn more about you and I have loved hearing
• 5:35
  pieces of your story it seems like you've had
• 5:38
  a pretty radical awakening over the last five
• 5:42
  years and i was wondering if you could give the
• 5:44
  listeners some background into who you were and
• 5:49
  who you've become thank you thank you for the
• 5:55
  opportunity to share this story um man yeah it
• 6:00
  feels like i've lived a thousand lifetimes honestly
• 6:03
  reflecting back on who i was it quite literally
• 6:06
  feels like it was in a different lifetime like
• 6:08
  it almost feels like i'm like thinking about
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  a dream which i mean there's so much to that
• 6:13
  statement in and of itself but um so the past
• 6:18
  five years has really been me recognizing how
• 6:25
  i was living out my life simply as a construct
• 6:29
  of my identity so before who I was before was
• 6:33
  someone who was really just living in the system
• 6:36
  and living in a way that I thought I was becoming
• 6:40
  successful in the way that I had been taught
• 6:43
  and told how to curate success. So I'll just
• 6:47
  rewind a little bit. When I was growing up, I
• 6:52
  had the privilege of experiencing a lot of death,
• 6:58
  watching a lot of my loved ones die, watching
• 7:00
  a lot of my loved ones go through chronic and
• 7:03
  terminal illness, addiction, suicidal ideation,
• 7:07
  mental health issues. And so as that younger
• 7:11
  version of myself, I begun to have this desire
• 7:16
  to help people heal because as a young child
• 7:21
  and individual, I watched so many people suffer.
• 7:23
  And so There was this savior template, if you
• 7:28
  will, that was building inside of me that wanted
• 7:31
  to really save people and no longer have to witness
• 7:35
  that death and dying and suffering. And so I
• 7:39
  went down the medical route. I went to university
• 7:44
  doing all of my pre -med requirements thinking
• 7:46
  I was going to become a doctor. And that was
• 7:49
  just, that was really all I knew at the time.
• 7:52
  I didn't have a greater awareness to know that
• 7:54
  there was other possibilities to get into a path
• 7:57
  where A, my healing was focused on myself first
• 8:00
  and foremost and B, then I could share that with
• 8:02
  others. So I went down the medical route. I got
• 8:05
  into year four of pre -med at university and
• 8:08
  I kind of, I would say I had like maybe a little
• 8:11
  mini awakening then where I was starting to have
• 8:14
  some aha moments about like, Why do I want this?
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  Why do I want this two -letter prefix in front
• 8:20
  of my name? Why am I chasing this path of helping
• 8:25
  others? And so I started to loosely explore other
• 8:29
  options. and in that time I recognized like really
• 8:33
  it does it does it feel really in alignment for
• 8:36
  me to now go to med school and I didn't want
• 8:39
  to just be a general practitioner like seeing
• 8:41
  people with stuffy noses and sore throats every
• 8:43
  day was not something that really lit my soul
• 8:45
  on fire so I wanted to do something like cool
• 8:48
  to my identity so I was like oh maybe I'll be
• 8:51
  a surgeon maybe I'll be I'll specialize in something
• 8:54
  But then when I really sat with the reality of
• 8:56
  that, it was like, okay, well, you're going to
• 8:58
  finish this bachelor's degree, and then you're
• 9:01
  going to go into med school. And to specialize,
• 9:03
  it's going to be 8, 9, 10, maybe 11 or 12 more
• 9:07
  years of school. And I was already feeling the
• 9:11
  impact of just go, go, go, go, go, do, do, do,
• 9:16
  do, do, striving for this external identification
• 9:20
  of success. That led me to exploring other options,
• 9:25
  which then led me to pursuing a career as an
• 9:27
  ultrasound tech. That was another two and a half
• 9:29
  years of specialization instead of 12. That felt
• 9:32
  more manageable for me at the time. I got into
• 9:36
  this career as an ultrasound tech. For the first
• 9:41
  two years, I worked in a private clinic. While
• 9:43
  I was working in a private clinic, especially
• 9:45
  as a new grad and a brand new tech, I was just
• 9:49
  absolutely blindsided by how the industry operated.
• 9:54
  And I mean, I can only speak from my own personal
• 9:56
  experience, but working as a tech in a private
• 9:58
  clinic, like you have your own patient workload
• 10:01
  for the day and you're just kind of thrown to
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  the wolves as a new grad. It's like, okay, you
• 10:06
  have half an hour to do this exam, 15 minutes
• 10:09
  to do this exam, 45 minutes to do this exam.
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  And I just felt like it was more about how many
• 10:16
  people I could get through the door in a day
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  than actual true patient. care and i was working
• 10:23
  five days a week six days a week sometimes and
• 10:26
  most of my shifts i hardly had a lunch break
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  i mean I was definitely a perfectionist, have
• 10:32
  always been operating under a more perfectionistic
• 10:35
  ideal. So I was very meticulous about how I did
• 10:38
  things. So I took longer than the average person
• 10:41
  to do an exam, to write up my report, to present
• 10:44
  to the radiologist. And I was working through
• 10:47
  my lunch breaks. I was working overtime. I was
• 10:49
  just go, go, go. And at the same time, I also,
• 10:52
  my identity thought it would be a fantastic idea
• 10:54
  to pursue bodybuilding in a competitive way.
• 10:57
  And so I was also getting up at 4 a .m., going
• 11:00
  to the gym, doing cardio before work, going to
• 11:02
  work, and then going back to the gym to lift
• 11:04
  weights because that was how I was gaining some
• 11:07
  sort of validation for everything that I was
• 11:10
  doing. And so two years into that, I was completely
• 11:15
  mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually
• 11:18
  burnt out. that was around the time that i had
• 11:28
  just finished doing my first and second competition
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  and so i was i mean i was dealing with gut issues
• 11:36
  i was dealing with anxiety bouts of depression
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  i was really like i i felt in many ways like
• 11:42
  a failure i remember just thinking like oh my
• 11:46
  god i went to university for seven and a half
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  years i poured hundreds of thousands of dollars
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  into this education and i'm failing like i am
• 11:54
  i'm not cut out for this i'm just not good at
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  this i'm not i'm not equipped to work in this
• 11:59
  industry and when i thought about the potential
• 12:02
  of me being in that industry until i was 60 65
• 12:07
  70 years old to do what society tells you to
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  do and like make it until you have a home and
• 12:14
  a family and all these things. I was like, I'm
• 12:17
  not even going to be able to get to the point
• 12:19
  where I have a family at this rate. Like I am
• 12:21
  going to pass away. And so that led me on what
• 12:29
  I would call kind of like my first awakening
• 12:31
  process where I was really forced to go on a
• 12:34
  journey within to. to start healing my own physical
• 12:38
  and mental health and so i started working with
• 12:42
  a functional health specialist and he was one
• 12:46
  of the first people in my life who really kind
• 12:50
  of shook me in the sense that on our first call
• 12:52
  i will never forget this he said you can follow
• 12:56
  my detox protocol you can take all the supplements
• 12:58
  that i'm going to give you you can follow this
• 13:03
  protocol to a t which i know that you will because
• 13:06
  i see your perfectionist identity and i see how
• 13:08
  you operate but if you don't actually address
• 13:11
  what is going on in here and in here and to those
• 13:14
  who are just listening not watching i'm just
• 13:17
  making reference to my heart and to my mind.
• 13:19
  He said, you will just relapse time and time
• 13:21
  again. I was, what I was dealing with was SIBO,
• 13:24
  which for those listening is small intestinal
• 13:26
  bacterial overgrowth. And I had androgen dominance
• 13:30
  and I was in amenorrhea. So I had no menstrual
• 13:33
  cycle because I was so lean and I was pushing
• 13:36
  myself so hard physically and mentally. And my
• 13:40
  body was just shutting down. I remember I would
• 13:42
  brush my hair or shower and I was pulling chunks
• 13:46
  of hair out. I had the classic white film on
• 13:51
  my tongue, which is indicative of a lot of yeast
• 13:54
  overgrowth, bacterial overgrowth. I was tired
• 13:56
  all the time. I kid you not, I could lay down
• 13:59
  on a rock at any time in the day and I could
• 14:02
  fall asleep. I was just beyond the point of exhaustion.
• 14:07
  And so I started to really go within. And that
• 14:11
  was kind of when I found meditation and breath
• 14:15
  work and journaling. And as part of my protocol
• 14:17
  for physical healing during this time, taking
• 14:19
  a step away from bodybuilding, I was actually
• 14:22
  not allowed to step foot in the gym, which was
• 14:25
  like the biggest. i remember having so much anxiety
• 14:29
  and just so much panic come up when vince my
• 14:32
  my functional health coach said like you cannot
• 14:34
  lift a weight for at least three months like
• 14:36
  you can i do not want you on that treadmill doing
• 14:39
  sprints i do not want you lifting weights you're
• 14:41
  allowed to walk you're allowed to do yoga you
• 14:45
  are allowed to do some like very very very light
• 14:47
  swimming but otherwise you're not allowed to
• 14:50
  be in the gym your body needs to rest and so
• 14:54
  during that time as i started to step away from
• 14:59
  everything that I had busied myself with of course
• 15:04
  then things start to come up because there was
• 15:07
  there was no other outlet and no other mask and
• 15:11
  no other addiction or form of numbing or suppression
• 15:15
  that i had been utilizing for so long to really
• 15:20
  just shove my emotions down like my story at
• 15:23
  the time was oh yeah like i go to the gym to
• 15:26
  help reduce my stress no no i was going to the
• 15:28
  gym to actually avoid everything that was coming
• 15:31
  up in me and so during that period which ended
• 15:37
  up being a little over a year that i worked with
• 15:40
  vince But about a year and a half that it took
• 15:43
  me to even get some semblance of normalcy with
• 15:45
  my body again, then I really started to recognize
• 15:49
  the true connection, the gut -brain connection,
• 15:52
  the connection with our emotions and everything
• 15:55
  that is manifested in our body. All of these
• 15:58
  symptoms of dis -ease and dis -order that I was
• 16:03
  also seeing in my patients on the ultrasound
• 16:05
  table. I was just gaining such a greater awareness
• 16:10
  of what was happening in my own body. And so
• 16:13
  I started studying the chakra system and the
• 16:16
  energetics of healing and how trauma manifests
• 16:20
  in the body. And so when I finally did actually
• 16:24
  make the decision to go back to work as a tech.
• 16:27
  And, I mean, that was really rooted in the fear
• 16:33
  of failure and all of these judgments and projections
• 16:35
  that people from a place of love, like my mother
• 16:39
  and my family, were just projecting their own
• 16:42
  limiting beliefs on me. Like, oh my goodness,
• 16:44
  you went to school for this long and spent this
• 16:46
  much money and you're just going to quit? And
• 16:49
  so I decided to give it one more shot. So I got
• 16:52
  a job at the hospital. And I found a little bit
• 16:56
  more of a work -life balance there. I started
• 16:57
  working a 0 .7. So I was working seven days on,
• 17:00
  seven days off. So I was really able to still
• 17:02
  stay focused on my own personal practices while
• 17:06
  I was working. And that was really the time that
• 17:10
  all of the work I had done on myself and this
• 17:13
  new awareness that I had curated in everything
• 17:16
  that I had studied from a more holistic healing
• 17:18
  perspective. It just started to illuminate everything
• 17:24
  for me that was happening in healthcare. And
• 17:28
  I use even the term healthcare so loosely because
• 17:31
  I really believe that the care is lacking entirely
• 17:33
  in that industry. I would say potentially the
• 17:35
  health is too. Touche. Touche. Yeah. It's more
• 17:44
  like sickness, dependence, perpetuation industry.
• 17:48
  Yeah. Yeah. That's accurate. So as I was working
• 17:54
  as a tech, I mean, one of the greatest gifts
• 17:56
  of being an ultrasound tech for those who have
• 17:58
  never had an ultrasound or don't really know
• 18:00
  what goes hand in hand with that career is that
• 18:02
  I was able to spend so much time with each patient.
• 18:05
  Like the shortest ultrasound exam is usually
• 18:08
  about 15 minutes for like kind of lumps and bumps
• 18:10
  kind of thing. But a lot of the work that I was
• 18:13
  doing in the hospital, we were in diagnostic
• 18:16
  and interventional imaging. So I was doing a
• 18:18
  lot of procedures as well. So biopsies and helping
• 18:21
  with surgeries. And so I was with patients sometimes
• 18:24
  for over an hour, over two hours, and people
• 18:27
  would just start opening up about their past,
• 18:29
  about themselves, about their lives. And all
• 18:32
  of these pieces and all of the dots just started
• 18:35
  connecting. And I started to see. wow, yeah,
• 18:38
  like anger is stored in the liver. And so no
• 18:41
  wonder this person who's telling me their life
• 18:43
  story that has this very tangible foundation
• 18:46
  of so much suppressed anger and rage is manifesting
• 18:50
  a liver dis -ease. And to see how the system
• 18:57
  approaches all of these ailments that people
• 19:00
  come and present with. it's just like okay well
• 19:03
  let's um let's give you this pharmaceutical or
• 19:06
  let's just remove the organ because that makes
• 19:08
  the most sense like let's take this very integral
• 19:12
  aspect of your physical human body and let's
• 19:14
  just take it out because it's clearly not operating
• 19:17
  in the right way it's the problem it's the problem
• 19:19
  there's nothing else under here that's just the
• 19:22
  problem and so the more my awareness built and
• 19:26
  the more i studied And the more I did the work
• 19:30
  to heal my own body and started working at the
• 19:33
  time I was microdosing for my own anxiety and
• 19:35
  depression, starting to really just open my mind
• 19:39
  in so many ways that it had never been opened
• 19:41
  before, I just started to feel so out of alignment
• 19:47
  working in that industry. And the soul pings
• 19:51
  were really starting to come through at that
• 19:52
  time. Like, okay. This was meant to be part of
• 19:56
  your past so you could see this, but there's
• 19:58
  more for you. And there was still so much fear
• 20:02
  in me, so I still kept pursuing it. And then
• 20:05
  came the pandemic. And I, again, had the gift
• 20:11
  of working in the hospital at that time. And
• 20:14
  the level of cognitive dissonance. that I witnessed
• 20:20
  and experienced was just like, it was to such
• 20:24
  a degree that I started to question my own sanity
• 20:26
  because I was witnessing, I mean, at this point
• 20:29
  I had been a tech for five and a half years because
• 20:32
  I worked for the hospital for three years. So
• 20:35
  I'd been a tech for five and a half years and
• 20:37
  I had never seen that many DVTs, which are blood
• 20:44
  clots, especially in young people. um this was
• 20:48
  after the release of the vax um dbts miscarriages
• 20:54
  um random tumors like just things that had no
• 20:58
  other rhyme or reason to them and for me I was
• 21:02
  just oh like this is interesting at first there
• 21:04
  was just this curiosity in me like oh this is
• 21:06
  an interesting possible like I know that correlation
• 21:09
  does not equal causation however this is very
• 21:12
  interesting and as time went on and I saw more
• 21:15
  and more and experienced more and more for myself
• 21:18
  I was just like okay one of these things does
• 21:20
  not fit the other and nobody I mean not even
• 21:24
  just during the pandemic but in health care as
• 21:27
  a whole in the industry nobody asks patients
• 21:30
  what their stress levels are like what their
• 21:32
  family is like what their relationships are like
• 21:34
  what their childhood was like what their diet
• 21:36
  is like what like all of these things that are
• 21:39
  actually the underlying factors behind so much
• 21:43
  of these dis -eases and illnesses it's just like
• 21:47
  totally shelved and put to the side and negated
• 21:49
  and then bring in the pandemic and all of the
• 21:53
  politics of that and then the vaccine mandates
• 21:56
  and i just witnessed a patients being treated
• 21:59
  in such a way that i'd never witnessed before
• 22:01
  and for myself as a health care professional
• 22:05
  i was always under the understanding like we
• 22:09
  we are here to help people we're not here to
• 22:12
  judge the patient on our table we're not here
• 22:15
  to say like for example somebody comes into the
• 22:18
  er with a drug overdose and then they're needing
• 22:21
  to be treated for like their liver and their
• 22:24
  kidneys that are shutting down we as a healthcare
• 22:26
  professional we had never had the right to be
• 22:29
  like oh well i don't agree with the use of drugs
• 22:31
  so i'm actually not going to treat you but then
• 22:34
  something shifted during the pandemic where all
• 22:37
  of a sudden suddenly healthcare professionals
• 22:40
  had this self -proclaimed right to project their
• 22:45
  own beliefs onto patients and to say, actually,
• 22:48
  we're not going to treat you or you're going
• 22:50
  to wait in the waiting room longer because you
• 22:52
  don't have this specific health product that
• 22:56
  we have mandated that you get to come in here
• 22:59
  to get treatment. And to be also spoken to in
• 23:04
  the way that I was spoken to by some of the doctors
• 23:06
  and the radiologists for the decision that I
• 23:09
  had made for my own body. It just really affirmed
• 23:15
  for me the knowing that I was holding for so
• 23:19
  long that I was no longer meant to be in that
• 23:22
  career and be operating in life as a whole in
• 23:26
  this way. And it got to the point where I think
• 23:30
  my soul was just trying to really communicate
• 23:32
  with me to such a degree that I would put my
• 23:35
  ultrasound probe down on people and I would almost
• 23:37
  have this like... it was like a premonition out
• 23:42
  of body experience where I would all of a sudden
• 23:45
  like 3d zoom out and see myself on the ultrasound
• 23:50
  table as a patient. And for me, that was my soul
• 23:54
  communicating to me like, Hey, this is a potential
• 23:56
  self that exists if you continue to walk this
• 23:59
  path. And so. Man, that's crazy. Yeah. Wow. yeah
• 24:09
  i continue that's just like that's that's such
• 24:11
  an amazing insight to pull from that like visionary
• 24:14
  state yeah it was i mean it was very confronting
• 24:18
  to say the least but it was also it also affirmed
• 24:23
  what i had felt so many other times previously
• 24:26
  in my life this connection to soul and this ability
• 24:30
  to tap into the unseen realms and to have premonitions
• 24:35
  and to have extrasensorial perception that i
• 24:38
  had very much so suppressed for so many years
• 24:41
  of my life because i thought that i was just
• 24:42
  crazy right and so That was the time when I really
• 24:48
  started listening. And when we as healthcare
• 24:51
  workers were given the mandate that basically
• 24:54
  you get to get the vaccine or you can no longer
• 24:56
  work, it was just a non -negotiable decision
• 24:59
  for me. It was a full body no. And so I left
• 25:03
  work and I was put on what they called an unpaid
• 25:06
  leave of absence with an undetermined end date.
• 25:10
  And so I was just kind of... off work and in
• 25:15
  this state of okay like what the heck do i now
• 25:19
  do with my life and then very shortly after that
• 25:23
  canada announced that they were going to close
• 25:25
  their borders and that you could not travel into
• 25:29
  or out of the country if you did not also have
• 25:31
  a vaccine passport and i remember hearing that
• 25:37
  announcement and something just shifted in me
• 25:40
  and it was just like the message was this like
• 25:43
  this is your time like go go explore go find
• 25:48
  out what else is available to you and so in the
• 25:52
  matter of about three weeks i basically sold
• 25:55
  everything that i did not see as a necessity
• 25:57
  i gave my landlord less than a month's notice
• 25:59
  i was like i'm leaving i don't know where i'm
• 26:01
  going but just so you know i'm not going to be
• 26:02
  here next month and i i ended up shipping my
• 26:07
  car to las vegas which is actually hilarious
• 26:09
  that that was the place that i decided to ship
• 26:11
  my car to it was just like the cheapest and quickest
• 26:14
  place to ship my car where i could get a one
• 26:16
  -way ticket that could like i could just get
• 26:18
  all of that in such a short period of time which
• 26:21
  it just felt right for me so i shipped my car
• 26:25
  to vegas i flew to las vegas and i had a friend
• 26:28
  who was actually living in nevada at the time
• 26:30
  her and her husband uh were from canada and were
• 26:33
  living down there her husband was there on a
• 26:35
  work visa and so there was this still this piece
• 26:37
  in me that was like oh my gosh like i need some
• 26:39
  aspect of safety like i need something down there
• 26:42
  to let me know that i'm gonna be okay and so
• 26:44
  she had graciously reached out to me and been
• 26:47
  like hey why don't you just come stay with us
• 26:49
  for a little bit just land here get grounded
• 26:52
  here figure your out and you have a roof over
• 26:55
  your head so just in the hilarious way that this
• 27:00
  existence works i i got there and um started
• 27:05
  Living with them and just kind of trying to get
• 27:08
  some sort of semblance of what the heck I was
• 27:09
  going to do in the US of A for God knows how
• 27:13
  long. And then her husband actually ended up
• 27:17
  losing his job and he was on a work visa. So
• 27:19
  when you lose your job on a work visa, you have
• 27:21
  at least in the States, you have 30 days to evacuate
• 27:24
  the country. And so I had literally just landed
• 27:27
  and like. planted my feet in the soil there and
• 27:30
  then it was like oh okay well now we're leaving
• 27:32
  and to me I mean reflecting back on that the
• 27:37
  message from my soul was like no no like you
• 27:40
  need to learn how to exist without all of these
• 27:44
  external things that you have sourced for safety
• 27:47
  and security and and you need to do this chapter
• 27:50
  by yourself and so then commenced six months
• 27:55
  of me Living in my car, living under the roofs
• 28:00
  of beautiful, beautiful, very kind, generous
• 28:03
  souls who took me in through couch surfer and
• 28:06
  just through meeting people and interactions.
• 28:08
  And I traveled for the first October, November,
• 28:13
  December for the first three months. I just basically
• 28:17
  drove around and hiked around the States. I remember
• 28:20
  one of those weeks I spent in Death Valley in
• 28:23
  California. And that week. was the first time
• 28:27
  in maybe ever since I had gotten a cell phone
• 28:31
  and just gotten so immersed into this society
• 28:36
  as a whole that I had actually spent in silence
• 28:41
  and away from my phone. I mean, I didn't even
• 28:44
  have cell service for most of that week that
• 28:46
  I was in Death Valley. And so I just, I spent
• 28:48
  a week just walking barefoot in the desert, just
• 28:52
  with my thoughts. with my emotions, with all
• 28:56
  of the stories, with everything that was surfacing
• 28:59
  in my being, and just started to actually get
• 29:03
  to know myself at a level of soul. And so fast
• 29:12
  forward a little bit, I got accepted into a training
• 29:17
  in Sedona, Arizona. That was being facilitated
• 29:21
  by a woman I had followed for quite a while on
• 29:24
  social media who was hosting what she calls a
• 29:28
  shamanic and indigenous -based kind of healing
• 29:33
  practice modalities training where she included
• 29:36
  breathwork facilitation training. And the whole
• 29:39
  premise of all of the teachings was shamanism
• 29:43
  and really how to come back to the teachings
• 29:45
  of the earth, the plants, and the spirit in all
• 29:48
  things. and so I found myself in Sedona that
• 29:52
  January and that was two and a half weeks of
• 29:56
  basically living at this woman's house and learning
• 29:59
  how to use energetic practices and instruments
• 30:04
  drums and rattles and your voice and how to really
• 30:09
  attuned to the wisdom of the earth and to so
• 30:13
  many of the teachings that our ancestors and
• 30:16
  elders have held for so long that have just been
• 30:18
  lost in our society. And we did land journeys
• 30:22
  and medicine wheels and spent time just on the
• 30:27
  land of Sedona, which itself is just so powerful.
• 30:31
  And, of course, in those two and a half weeks
• 30:33
  as we're learning all of this and practicing
• 30:35
  on each other too, that was like a dark night
• 30:38
  of the soul itself. It was like I was just plummeted
• 30:40
  into a new depth of self -discovery where all
• 30:44
  of these things that had begun to bubble to the
• 30:46
  surface were now like really fully like in front
• 30:49
  of my face. And during that training, I met...
• 30:54
  some really, really, really incredible, incredible
• 30:57
  souls. And one of those individuals ended up
• 31:01
  basically leading me to my first ever psychedelic
• 31:05
  experience, which took place, I think, about
• 31:07
  a month or so after we finished those trainings.
• 31:10
  And that journey, it was a psilocybin journey.
• 31:15
  That journey just opened a door for me. It was
• 31:20
  just... After all of the years that I had spent
• 31:24
  leading up to that, doing my own personal, physical,
• 31:28
  and mental healing through breath work and sound
• 31:31
  healing and meditation and everything, that five
• 31:35
  -hour experience felt like it helped me heal
• 31:40
  and embody and see things within myself and in
• 31:44
  the world that the entirety of my life had never
• 31:50
  shown me. And so that began my journey of connecting
• 31:55
  with plant medicines and really inviting myself
• 31:59
  to return to the wisdom of the earth. And so
• 32:03
  I returned to Canada in April of that year. And
• 32:10
  I just decided that no matter what, I'm not going
• 32:15
  back to... not only working for healthcare, but
• 32:18
  I'm not going back to working for the system.
• 32:21
  I will literally do anything and everything that
• 32:23
  it takes to just pursue whatever this path is
• 32:26
  now and whatever I am meant to do and however
• 32:30
  I'm meant to be of service. And so I just continued
• 32:34
  to do my own personal journeys with plant medicine,
• 32:37
  doing the work on myself. And the path just started
• 32:41
  to kind of unfold for me and the opportunities
• 32:44
  to connect with individuals who were gravitating
• 32:47
  to who I then had become and just noticing the
• 32:52
  difference in who I was. The amount of times
• 32:55
  somebody said to me, like, you're not even the
• 32:57
  same person. I was like, oh, I would hope not.
• 33:00
  Like after everything that just unfolded, I would
• 33:03
  hope not. That's actually what I was aiming for,
• 33:06
  funny enough. And since then, it's really just
• 33:10
  been, again, just a continual path of self -discovery
• 33:14
  and then just sharing what I've been learning
• 33:17
  with others. I did end up doing like a formal.
• 33:21
  trauma informed training and a lot of like psychedelic
• 33:24
  integration trainings which interestingly enough
• 33:27
  now I'm like unraveling the layers of all of
• 33:29
  those and how all of those are still so deeply
• 33:32
  rooted in the system and so yeah I'm still on
• 33:36
  this path of discovery but I mean for myself
• 33:38
  now my work is first and foremost focused on
• 33:43
  myself but secondly just sharing with those who
• 33:46
  come into my field about the power of healing
• 33:51
  through actually returning to the wisdom of our
• 33:53
  earth and the plants and the teachings that the
• 33:57
  indigenous and the ancients have held for so
• 33:59
  long that have been really stolen from us that
• 34:02
  we've forgotten in so many ways. Yeah. Amazing.
• 34:09
  Thank you. Like there's so much to unpack there.
• 34:12
  I don't even know where to dive into, you know,
• 34:14
  but yeah, like. I know for myself, like in the
• 34:20
  beginning of like this awakening process, like
• 34:24
  you're never going into this without new data.
• 34:28
  You know what I mean? Like we need data to create
• 34:32
  frameworks. And it's like, like you said, correlation
• 34:37
  doesn't equal causation, you know? But it's like.
• 34:42
  okay there's like a coincidence and a coincidence
• 34:44
  and another coincidence and another coincidence
• 34:47
  and it's like okay this actually isn't coincidence
• 34:49
  this is coherence yes so now i need to shift
• 34:53
  my entire world view to like fit that that new
• 34:56
  piece of the puzzle in yeah you know yeah and
• 34:59
  it's it's such a crazy radical experience and
• 35:02
  it's such a dying experience too you know it's
• 35:06
  just as much as it's like a learning it's also
• 35:08
  an unlearning you know and like shedding all
• 35:11
  of that it's like pretty brutal you know like
• 35:14
  that's why we call it the work yeah you know
• 35:16
  there's a lot of people who walk the spiritual
• 35:19
  path in quotes and do the work and it's kind
• 35:24
  of just you know And that's one thing I love
• 35:28
  about plant medicines, which I want to really
• 35:31
  dive into the wonderful world of plant medicines
• 35:33
  with you is to some degree it's Jesus take the
• 35:37
  wheel. You know what I mean? Like the wheel and
• 35:41
  the gas pedal and the brake and the gear shift
• 35:43
  and just take the whole automobile. And it's
• 35:48
  like, you know, like the, the breath work, it's
• 35:51
  like, it's good to like feel what a relaxed nervous
• 35:54
  system feels like temporarily. you know by like
• 35:57
  expelling that energy and like at least allowing
• 35:59
  emotions and stuff to move but there comes a
• 36:02
  point where there's like a true letting go that
• 36:04
  needs to happen that very rarely can you take
• 36:07
  that take yourself there yeah you know yeah and
• 36:11
  that's why why we do ceremony yeah you know and
• 36:14
  like why at least in my life like ceremony is
• 36:17
  the most important thing yeah and our teacher
• 36:20
  he he says the incas they have four laws there's
• 36:25
  family there's community there's work and there's
• 36:29
  ceremony and what's the most important and almost
• 36:32
  everyone would be like well it's family you know
• 36:34
  but it's not it's ceremony because if you're
• 36:37
  full of depression and anxiety and confusion
• 36:40
  and chaos and sickness you're no good for anyone
• 36:45
  you know and that's why we come to ceremony yeah
• 36:48
  it's to keep ourselves clean and i love that
• 36:50
  you said like even though you're like a space
• 36:52
  holder for other people and a guide for other
• 36:54
  people it's always the work on yourself first
• 36:58
  yeah always yeah and to some degree especially
• 37:03
  like as being a guide in the world of you know
• 37:05
  spiritual growth you can only take someone to
• 37:09
  the resonance that you're at yeah and that's
• 37:12
  why i have a massive problem with not only the
• 37:16
  medical system as a whole but like especially
• 37:18
  like psychiatry where the person that you're
• 37:22
  speaking to the therapist that you're speaking
• 37:24
  to the counselor that you're speaking to they
• 37:27
  do not resonate at like a very high level you
• 37:30
  know they know the right words to say they know
• 37:33
  the right prompts but they can't actually take
• 37:35
  you there you know so everyone just ends up just
• 37:38
  sitting in their stories and then you have stories
• 37:40
  and the therapist has stories yeah So, yeah,
• 37:45
  I guess like just as like a quick kind of overview,
• 37:48
  I'm curious how you would summarize this. What
• 37:50
  is spiritual growth to you? That's a really great
• 37:55
  question. For me, spiritual growth is acknowledging
• 38:02
  that you are and always will be a student. I
• 38:09
  mean, to kind of extend this answer like for
• 38:11
  myself, I definitely had. a spiritual identity
• 38:15
  when i got into spirituality there was a part
• 38:19
  of my ego that felt very validated there and
• 38:21
  when i started serving i attached myself to all
• 38:25
  of these identities as a breathwork facilitator
• 38:27
  and a healer which i i really don't like that
• 38:31
  term anymore i mean i i don't believe any of
• 38:33
  us are here to heal anyone right like we are
• 38:36
  all just mirrors for one another and to to be
• 38:40
  of service in this realm is to really just hold
• 38:44
  space for others in such a way that you can reflect
• 38:47
  back to them and shine a light on the parts of
• 38:50
  them that for whatever reason they couldn't see
• 38:53
  before. And so, yeah, I mean, spiritual growth
• 38:58
  to me is just, it's being the student and always
• 39:01
  knowing that there's something more to learn
• 39:03
  and there's really no such thing as truth. Interesting.
• 39:10
  Interesting. okay tell me about the spirit of
• 39:19
  psilocybin hmm the spirit of psilocybin it's
• 39:26
  interesting that you use the word coherence before
• 39:30
  because that's really like coming up for me in
• 39:33
  this moment the spirit of psilocybin to me is
• 39:36
  this spirit that has this energy this sheen on
• 39:40
  as we might call it that invites us back into
• 39:44
  coherence into harmony into connection with our
• 39:48
  soul with the earth and it's it really what psilocybin
• 39:55
  what the spirit of psilocybin does in us is it
• 39:58
  it is that light it illuminates what we have
• 40:03
  not formally been able to see and it brings up
• 40:06
  the darkness and the distortions and everything
• 40:09
  that is not a frequency match to coherence and
• 40:14
  harmony and the essence of being from source
• 40:19
  from nature from god from the earth oh that's
• 40:27
  it you know and uh one of the uh the ayahuasca
• 40:32
  apprentices that i was uh is like in the circle
• 40:36
  he was saying the thing about nature and the
• 40:40
  plants and the mushrooms is they have such an
• 40:44
  unobstructed lens of reality you know and by
• 40:49
  by going into these co -creative experiences
• 40:52
  with them we get like this little chance to just
• 40:55
  look through those glasses you know and like
• 40:58
  so quickly everything changes like i know for
• 41:02
  me like it's interesting that you had this like
• 41:07
  calling to be a quote unquote healer, you know,
• 41:10
  for such a long time. And for me, I never had
• 41:14
  that at all. Like, I was just like, I want to
• 41:17
  learn. I want to understand why reality is the
• 41:21
  way it is, you know, and it all leads to the
• 41:25
  same place, you know? And it's like, the psilocybin
• 41:29
  is like. look and it's like oh my god i didn't
• 41:32
  even realize i had shit to heal yeah yeah yeah
• 41:37
  the you said something there which i also really
• 41:41
  think is so important is the piece of developing
• 41:45
  a co -creative relationship with the medicine
• 41:47
  because this is also something that i really
• 41:50
  see lacking today and how the new age spiritual
• 41:53
  industry is It can really hinder and block us
• 41:59
  from being able to work with this medicine in
• 42:01
  the way that I see that we were meant to work
• 42:04
  with it. Is that we have basically begun to look
• 42:09
  at psilocybin and a lot of plant medicines as
• 42:13
  another fix, another outlet. And there's not
• 42:18
  a lot of talk about actually forming a relationship.
• 42:23
  Like this is a... living being there is a spirit
• 42:28
  in this being it is not just a pill to pop and
• 42:33
  to dose and to try to escape our anxiety our
• 42:38
  depression or to try to fix our mind or enlighten
• 42:42
  ourselves this is a being that is meant to come
• 42:45
  into that coherent relationship with our own
• 42:48
  spirit and to illuminate all of the things within
• 42:52
  us that we are ready to and meant to see as we
• 42:56
  work with it, not as we use it. Thank you so
• 43:03
  much for bringing it up. It's so true. And sometimes
• 43:05
  I forget, you know, like just with my own worldview,
• 43:09
  what it's like to be outside of Matt, you know
• 43:13
  what I mean? And like the idea of working with
• 43:16
  these medicines as molecules versus a spirit
• 43:21
  to be in relation with is like just so drastically
• 43:25
  different you know and like when i talk about
• 43:28
  a co -creative experience like with these spirits
• 43:31
  they are learning from us just as much as we
• 43:35
  are learning from them you know like there's
• 43:39
  a real tangible consciousness to these things
• 43:42
  yeah you know and that's also why i think to
• 43:46
  some degree psilocybin it has a such a different
• 43:51
  effect than LSD where LSD will take you to a
• 43:55
  similar vibrational state, but it doesn't do
• 43:58
  that deep healing and that deep cleaning on you
• 44:02
  to the same degree. And I think part of that
• 44:04
  is like psilocybin is old. Like it's really old.
• 44:10
  Like what it understands about humans is like,
• 44:13
  we've been doing this for. since the beginning
• 44:16
  of time i don't know when that is anymore you
• 44:18
  know but since the beginning whereas lsd came
• 44:22
  around in the you know 40s 50s and then into
• 44:25
  the 60s like it doesn't know us that well yeah
• 44:29
  yeah and just this piece about like returning
• 44:36
  to working with the plants too like just everything
• 44:41
  that you spoke to there what was really coming
• 44:44
  up as you were saying all of that is that there
• 44:48
  was actually a moment during during the the training
• 44:51
  that i was in in sedona where we were we were
• 44:54
  at the end of our container and and one of the
• 44:56
  girls that i had been training with she asked
• 44:58
  the medicine woman that we were learning from
• 45:00
  she said can you recommend other indigenous uh
• 45:06
  individuals or elders or medicine men or women
• 45:10
  that we can seek to really enhance these teachings
• 45:14
  and further these trainings and i remember our
• 45:17
  teacher looked at her and she said go sit under
• 45:18
  a tree and we all laughed and then realized how
• 45:25
  serious she was and it was just such a profound
• 45:30
  reminder of like we were often seeking elders
• 45:33
  and mentors and gurus And we forget that the
• 45:38
  Earth's oldest elders are the plants that have
• 45:42
  been here since the beginning of time. As you
• 45:45
  said, who even knows when that actually was.
• 45:48
  But the plants have been here way longer than
• 45:52
  we have. And they've been here for every iteration
• 45:54
  of humanity and all the cycles that we've gone
• 45:56
  through. And we forget. that they are there and
• 46:01
  they hold so much wisdom and here we are looking
• 46:05
  for the next instagram guru or the next spiritual
• 46:09
  retreat to go on to learn the things that our
• 46:11
  mind desires to learn and we forget that the
• 46:14
  wisdom of the plants literally holds all of the
• 46:18
  key codes at least i feel it holds all of the
• 46:20
  key codes to this existence for sure and like
• 46:24
  and like for me personally you know like everyone
• 46:27
  like it's having guides throughout this journey
• 46:29
  is super important. I wouldn't be who I am today
• 46:32
  without my teachers, but to some degree, like
• 46:36
  my teachers has just been pointing me in that
• 46:38
  direction of like back to the earth, back to
• 46:40
  the earth, back to the medicines, back to the
• 46:41
  plants the whole time, you know? And like, there
• 46:44
  is like, not to be egotistical, but like, there's
• 46:49
  not that many people left for me to, who were
• 46:53
  like really. at a level far beyond me that i
• 46:57
  can learn a lot under other than like literally
• 46:59
  like the couldn't debtors and the maestros like
• 47:01
  down in the jungle yeah you know what i mean
• 47:04
  well they can show me how to work with the plants
• 47:06
  even further but it's like the plants they're
• 47:07
  my teachers the rain that's my teacher the thunder
• 47:11
  beings the winds you know yeah they know oh they
• 47:16
  know and i mean when we really look back at ancient
• 47:22
  history and like how we as humans used to exist
• 47:26
  in relationship with the earth and we used to
• 47:30
  attune to the elements and we used to sit in
• 47:32
  ceremony and we used to use the medicine of plants
• 47:35
  and then at some point it feels like we either
• 47:40
  just lost our way so radically from that or it
• 47:44
  was taken from us which is something that i've
• 47:46
  really been exploring like did at some point
• 47:49
  we really abuse the earth and these medicines
• 47:54
  so deeply that a lot of the true ancient wisdom
• 47:58
  was just like it basically like encapsulated
• 48:03
  itself and was like okay like you guys are gonna
• 48:05
  have to earn coming back to this because the
• 48:08
  way that you are treating our earth and all of
• 48:12
  these true elders and wisdom holders is is no
• 48:15
  longer in alignment for the collective yeah i
• 48:20
  think that leads beautifully into something i
• 48:23
  wanted to dive into which is the process of master
• 48:27
  plant dietas and I know you just finished your
• 48:33
  first master plant dieta. So congratulations.
• 48:36
  It's no small feat, you know. But what you were
• 48:40
  just saying there, it like resonates with me
• 48:43
  so deeply because it has to be earned. You know,
• 48:47
  you're not owed anything. Like, yeah, the world
• 48:52
  is the way it is. And, you know, it's like you
• 48:54
  can't play victim to it. And as much as it's
• 48:57
  difficult, it's your responsibility to walk the
• 49:00
  path. you know and it's always earned and whenever
• 49:03
  it's not earned that's black magic that's they
• 49:07
  give you the power right away and then they ask
• 49:09
  you to do something later to maintain it you
• 49:12
  know yeah so i'd love to just hear like you don't
• 49:17
  have to give me specifics you don't have to name
• 49:18
  the plant i understand like the the you know
• 49:21
  keeping the energy is sacred you know and a very
• 49:24
  wise teacher once told me be very careful who
• 49:27
  you share your medicine with Um, it's very easy
• 49:31
  to, to drain the tank, you know? Uh, but I was
• 49:34
  wondering if you'd like to share some of your
• 49:36
  experience and maybe some of like the processes
• 49:39
  that you went through during your dieta. Yeah.
• 49:42
  Thank you for asking. Um, it, it does feel very
• 49:47
  sacred. So I will share just what feels right
• 49:51
  for me to share at this time, because I also
• 49:53
  believe that, yes, we do need to be careful who
• 49:56
  we share our medicine with. we don't continue
• 50:00
  to learn without sharing right this has been
• 50:03
  something really that's at the forefront for
• 50:05
  me right now is that Everything is energy and
• 50:09
  energy is meant to flow. And so if we are holding
• 50:12
  onto and gatekeeping our wisdom or we're holding
• 50:15
  onto what we have learned in fear of it being
• 50:18
  distorted or fear of judgment or fear of people
• 50:20
  stealing it or whatever the story is, we're also
• 50:23
  not allowing that natural flow to happen. So
• 50:28
  the more we just hold onto it, the less we're
• 50:32
  going to receive. And so as we walk this path
• 50:35
  as students, I think it's... so important for
• 50:37
  us to share the wisdom and the medicine that
• 50:39
  we are developing and that we have earned so
• 50:42
  that we can continue to receive ourselves. And
• 50:46
  so that we also plant those seeds that others
• 50:49
  are going to receive if they're meant to, and
• 50:51
  they're going to grow them in their garden if
• 50:54
  they focus and water them and have that attention
• 50:59
  and really attuned to the signal of whatever
• 51:01
  is being shared. thank you for the opportunity
• 51:05
  to do that um so yeah um dieta was again it was
• 51:11
  one of those instances where it was like when
• 51:14
  the student is ready the teacher appears i I
• 51:18
  never, I don't even know what a dieta was until
• 51:21
  last year. And it was just something that came
• 51:24
  into my field and initially something that really
• 51:29
  scared me if I was, if I'm being wholeheartedly
• 51:31
  honest, because it really, I mean, it really
• 51:36
  invites you to let go of almost everything that
• 51:40
  we have. We have come to know in this existence
• 51:44
  as being the things that we carve our identity
• 51:46
  out of, the things that we seek safety and security
• 51:50
  out of. And so the whole underlying theme of
• 51:57
  dieta for me was learning how to soften. I really
• 52:03
  realized that I spent the entirety of my life
• 52:09
  learning how to be strong. And nobody had ever
• 52:15
  shown me or taught me or presented me with opportunities
• 52:21
  that allowed me to learn how to be soft. And
• 52:26
  so over the course of the four months that I
• 52:30
  was on my first yetta, I really was invited to
• 52:36
  ask myself, where have I been showing up? with
• 52:41
  an armor on where have I been showing up with
• 52:44
  a mask on where have I been showing up in this
• 52:48
  personification of I am strong I can do it by
• 52:52
  myself I don't need help and so a big part of
• 52:58
  the process for me was letting go of everything
• 53:02
  that I had really been approaching with that
• 53:08
  very masculine energy And so for me, over the
• 53:11
  time of dieta, that meant not working, not being
• 53:16
  of service, because I had definitely curated
• 53:19
  an identity out of being of service and being
• 53:22
  a teacher and being in that realm of helping
• 53:26
  others heal. And it was slowing down to the speed
• 53:32
  of soul. It was spending, once again, returning
• 53:36
  to... what I had connected with in that time
• 53:40
  in the desert, in that time when I was living
• 53:42
  in my car and detaching from society, it was
• 53:46
  coming back to time and silence, time and stillness,
• 53:50
  time away from my phone. I even noticed just
• 53:53
  stimulation as a whole, but I even noticed my
• 53:58
  attachment to music and not even necessarily
• 54:00
  bad music. Like I recognize it very shortly into
• 54:04
  my dieta that I had existed for so long with
• 54:08
  some sort of stimulation in the background, whether
• 54:11
  it was a podcast or listening to one of my mentor's
• 54:15
  teachings or just having frequencies playing
• 54:18
  or being at the gym and having my headphones
• 54:20
  in. I just realized that there was always something
• 54:25
  happening in the background. And so I spent a
• 54:28
  very large portion of my dieta not listening
• 54:31
  to music, which was very difficult for me. And
• 54:35
  not trying to gain more information and wisdom
• 54:40
  through other teachings and podcasts and resources.
• 54:43
  It was just like, okay, just be. Have you ever
• 54:48
  just learned how to just be? So that was a big
• 54:55
  piece. And I would say the other immense piece
• 55:01
  for me was... Coming back to revisit my relationship
• 55:07
  with my body and food. And as someone who lived
• 55:14
  out a very big portion of my life from about
• 55:18
  the age of 17 to mid 20s, I was bulimic. And
• 55:28
  then when I got into competitive bodybuilding,
• 55:30
  I basically traded. what would be diagnosed as
• 55:34
  like a clinical eating disorder for very disordered
• 55:38
  habits around food and my body as a whole so
• 55:42
  counting my calories and my macros always being
• 55:46
  so focused like I was weighing like I was weighing
• 55:50
  vegetables for goodness sakes like the mechanisms
• 55:56
  of control that I applied to everything in my
• 56:01
  life but also my food and my body needing to
• 56:04
  look a certain way and I really prior to dieta
• 56:09
  I thought I had really gotten to the root of
• 56:13
  all of those I thought I had really like healed
• 56:17
  again I like parenthesize that because I don't
• 56:20
  actually believe that we get to a state of actually
• 56:23
  being healed but I really felt that I had at
• 56:27
  least gotten to a point where all of those relationships
• 56:32
  with my body with food that they were healthy
• 56:35
  and then dieta came and I just started to notice
• 56:42
  All of these little tendencies. I remember this
• 56:45
  one moment very specifically. I was actually,
• 56:47
  I was speaking with the maestra who had opened
• 56:49
  my dieta and I was just telling her about some
• 56:52
  of the things I was noticing coming up with food,
• 56:55
  certain cravings. And I had just in passing in
• 57:00
  the conversation shared that I had frozen grapes
• 57:03
  so that I could eat grapes and eat them slowly
• 57:06
  and not eat a whole bunch of them at the time.
• 57:10
  And she just reflected back to me in such a loving
• 57:13
  way. She just said, do you recognize that there's
• 57:17
  still a disordered mentality there? That you
• 57:20
  as a living, breathing human being should not
• 57:22
  need to freeze your grapes so that you can A,
• 57:24
  eat slowly and B, not overindulge. And so though
• 57:30
  I had. gone far beyond the bounds of formerly
• 57:35
  binging and restricting and calorie counting,
• 57:37
  there was still these pervasive habits and tendencies
• 57:41
  towards food and towards my body and the hypercriticism
• 57:46
  of myself that was bleeding into every aspect
• 57:49
  of my life. And so dieta really helped me continue
• 57:56
  to peel back the layers. For those of you who
• 58:01
  are not familiar with the process of dieta, when
• 58:05
  we're on dieta, we are eating very, very, very
• 58:09
  basic and clean. There's no salt, no sugar, no
• 58:13
  stimulants, no red meat. You're basically just
• 58:17
  eating fish, rice, limited vegetables, limited
• 58:20
  fruits. You're not using spices. You start to
• 58:24
  become very aware. I'll speak for myself. I started
• 58:28
  to became very aware of even just the stimulus
• 58:31
  behind spices, behind things. Like I remember
• 58:34
  prior to dieta, I would always have this elixir
• 58:38
  in the morning, which was filled with like ashwagandha
• 58:41
  and a 16 mushroom blend. And I would put like
• 58:44
  lotus and like all of these things in it. Dieta
• 58:48
  really showed me, I mean, A, to communicate with
• 58:52
  the spirit of a plant. The whole principle behind
• 58:55
  Dieta is that we're reducing the noise. And so
• 58:57
  Dieta illuminated for me how much noise was still
• 59:01
  in my life and how much noise I was creating
• 59:04
  for myself. Yeah, I think the thing with food
• 59:11
  is like that's really common for everyone. And,
• 59:14
  you know, like you were saying, like, you know,
• 59:16
  there's kind of like the standard ways of eating.
• 59:18
  There's kind of like the disordered ways of eating.
• 59:20
  There's like the fitness relationship with eating.
• 59:22
  And then there's like now there's like new age
• 59:24
  wellness way of eating. And it's like optimizing.
• 59:28
  And like, yeah, like 16 ingredient cocktails.
• 59:31
  What's the next supplement? What's the next plant
• 59:33
  I can add in? You know, and like almost always
• 59:37
  the answer is actually way less. You know? Yeah.
• 59:43
  yeah it's almost always the answer i mean in
• 59:46
  life period it's less yeah do less you know like
• 59:51
  that's such a major teaching like you said like
• 59:53
  even like getting rid of music yeah you know
• 59:56
  like that's a hard one for me like i i like i
• 1:00:00
  like play music i listen to music constantly
• 1:00:02
  like turning all that down and just like actually
• 1:00:05
  sitting in silence, it's hilarious. Because the
• 1:00:09
  brain just starts going, I'm so bored, you know?
• 1:00:13
  And then like half an hour passes and then all
• 1:00:16
  these emotions are arising and you're like, oh
• 1:00:18
  my God, where did all this come from? You know?
• 1:00:20
  And there's like, there's nowhere to diffuse
• 1:00:22
  the energy other than to process. Yeah. You know?
• 1:00:27
  Other than to just sit in the fire and actually
• 1:00:29
  be with it. yeah yeah it's the fire and like
• 1:00:34
  the process of diet is no joke no it's promo
• 1:00:37
  you know like you can't you can't mess around
• 1:00:42
  there's no cheating you know and that also like
• 1:00:44
  just if people are curious like the whole no
• 1:00:47
  cheating of like the restrictions and everything
• 1:00:50
  it also applies to your dreams that's the level
• 1:00:56
  at which they say you should have control of
• 1:00:59
  your consciousness you know and it's like okay
• 1:01:03
  all day you're like i'm not gonna do it i'm not
• 1:01:05
  gonna do it i'm not gonna do it but you want
• 1:01:07
  to you know and then you go to you like have
• 1:01:09
  a dream that night and you're like eating the
• 1:01:11
  chocolate no i ruined it you know test failed
• 1:01:19
  such a crazy experience yeah literally level
• 1:01:22
  repeat uh -huh and and i feel like at least for
• 1:01:26
  me like there's been so many times where i felt
• 1:01:29
  like I'm doing really good and I'm being really
• 1:01:33
  disciplined. And then like the plants will test
• 1:01:36
  me in my dreams, knowing I'm going to fail just
• 1:01:39
  to like, keep me humble as fuck, you know, like
• 1:01:43
  you gotta stay in that place of humility, you
• 1:01:47
  know, and that place of prayer too, because like
• 1:01:51
  one of my biggest teachings in my last dieta
• 1:01:55
  was the importance of peace in your life. you
• 1:02:00
  know and like you can do the dieta you can have
• 1:02:03
  all the restrictions perfect yeah you know you
• 1:02:06
  can you can do it all perfectly yeah but it's
• 1:02:08
  the same thing it's like and then but i was taking
• 1:02:10
  my excess energy and like working all the time
• 1:02:14
  you know and it was like no no no peace peace
• 1:02:20
  is the way way less yeah and i mean we've just
• 1:02:29
  lost touch with that principle as you said even
• 1:02:33
  now in like the health industry and and spirituality
• 1:02:36
  like there's always we're looking for something
• 1:02:39
  more and like biohacking is such a big thing
• 1:02:42
  right now too and it's just biohacking to me
• 1:02:45
  is you're not trusting your soul you're not trusting
• 1:02:49
  in the innate wisdom of your body you're literally
• 1:02:51
  trying to hack your own system And it just goes
• 1:02:55
  back to this same collective, I guess you could
• 1:03:00
  call it a pain body or a template, where we're
• 1:03:02
  all just seeking to feel better. We're seeking
• 1:03:06
  the answers we want to feel better and to fix.
• 1:03:09
  And we're not actually asking what's beneath
• 1:03:13
  this thing that I'm trying to... to to fix or
• 1:03:18
  remedy with the elixir with the red light therapy
• 1:03:22
  with the breath work like am i doing these things
• 1:03:25
  to come back to presence and peace or am i doing
• 1:03:28
  these things to actually escape and avoid what
• 1:03:31
  is actually residing at the the very root of
• 1:03:35
  that yeah and you know like all these things
• 1:03:39
  have their place of experimentation also to learn
• 1:03:42
  like who we are and like the things that do drive
• 1:03:44
  with us you know and I always say like no amount
• 1:03:49
  of like blue light blocking glasses and reishi
• 1:03:52
  and valerian root at night are going to help
• 1:03:55
  you sleep if your mind's chaotic. Exactly. That's
• 1:03:58
  just the truth. So it's like, why is your mind
• 1:04:00
  chaotic? Yeah. You know? Yeah. And then like
• 1:04:02
  now we're diving into a deep, deep well. Deep.
• 1:04:06
  Yeah. You know? It's like all the physical imbalances,
• 1:04:10
  the emotional imbalances, the spiritual imbalances.
• 1:04:13
  Yeah. You know? Like, where is your prayer, you
• 1:04:17
  know? How are your relations? How's your digestion?
• 1:04:23
  You know? Yeah. I'm curious for you, now that
• 1:04:29
  you've held multiple dietas, I'm curious to hear
• 1:04:35
  a little bit more about your first experience
• 1:04:38
  on dieta, if you're willing to share, like, what
• 1:04:40
  was really... what was really at the forefront
• 1:04:44
  during that first dieta for you? What was, what
• 1:04:48
  was the underlying theme that you were invited
• 1:04:51
  to really be with? I mean, my first dieta was
• 1:04:57
  like the energy of that spirit of that plan of
• 1:05:01
  that teacher really cleans the guts and sexual
• 1:05:06
  energy. And it was physical, super physical.
• 1:05:12
  you know and i think i actually mentioned this
• 1:05:15
  on one of the podcasts i did with with marcos
• 1:05:17
  or something but like i mean the biggest process
• 1:05:21
  was like really understanding how to like utilize
• 1:05:24
  my sexual energy in the correct ways and allow
• 1:05:26
  that thing to flow without it leaking all over
• 1:05:30
  the place you know and like as a what i was 23
• 1:05:34
  year old man who grew up with the internet there
• 1:05:39
  was a big cleansing process that had to take
• 1:05:42
  place there um and that was like that was the
• 1:05:46
  biggest challenge i was coming up against but
• 1:05:49
  the physical cleaning it's like it can be pretty
• 1:05:52
  extreme you know as well and like i used to get
• 1:05:56
  uh really bad eczema on my legs and just from
• 1:06:02
  like all the toxicity of my upbringing you know
• 1:06:04
  and after that dieta all gone never again You
• 1:06:10
  know? So like there was some serious work being
• 1:06:12
  done there, but there was definitely like sexual
• 1:06:15
  energy was the thing I really needed to dial
• 1:06:17
  in. Leaps and bounds, you know? Well, I mean,
• 1:06:23
  just. massive acknowledgement just a deep bow
• 1:06:26
  to you for doing that work I mean especially
• 1:06:28
  as a man like the the sexual programming for
• 1:06:31
  men and women is so pervasive right from more
• 1:06:35
  infants in Disney and and and then going into
• 1:06:38
  social media and then the porn industry and everything
• 1:06:41
  but um I mean I cannot imagine what it is like
• 1:06:45
  to be in the shoes of a man in today's world
• 1:06:47
  and to be being raised with all of these sexually
• 1:06:51
  focused programs and ways that grab at our attention
• 1:06:55
  and drive that sexual energy in a way that really
• 1:06:58
  pulls it out of the sacred and really attacks
• 1:07:01
  divine union and all of the things to to have
• 1:07:04
  done that work and be doing that work i mean
• 1:07:08
  just just the biggest i was gonna say that's
• 1:07:12
  not done no i yeah never ending i am sure for
• 1:07:16
  all of us but it's it's very interesting like
• 1:07:19
  i this seems to be such a topic at the forefront.
• 1:07:24
  I've spoken to so many men recently who are just
• 1:07:27
  now becoming curious about this aspect of themselves
• 1:07:32
  and really noticing how much of their awareness
• 1:07:36
  is poured into that sexual drive and how just
• 1:07:41
  distorted it has become in today's society and
• 1:07:44
  how much that drains their energy on a day -to
• 1:07:48
  -day basis. So much, so much. And like, as like,
• 1:07:54
  if you're like a man out there listening to this,
• 1:07:56
  you know, and you're leaking that energy on a
• 1:07:58
  daily, even weekly basis, like you could be getting
• 1:08:02
  so much more out of life, you know? And like,
• 1:08:04
  you don't even need psilocybin. You don't need
• 1:08:06
  ayahuasca. You don't need the plants. Don't ejaculate
• 1:08:09
  for a year and then talk to me. Like you're a
• 1:08:12
  fucking, you're a different person altogether.
• 1:08:16
  Yeah. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you for
• 1:08:20
  bringing that into the conversation. powerful
• 1:08:23
  piece and i think i mean like i said i can obviously
• 1:08:26
  not speak from the shoes of a man but it's a
• 1:08:28
  it's a conversation that really needs to be had
• 1:08:30
  and i see the work that so many of the men in
• 1:08:33
  my field are doing now with this new awareness
• 1:08:35
  and starting to call that energy back into themselves
• 1:08:38
  and it is so powerful and as matt said like you
• 1:08:41
  you are literally not the same person once you
• 1:08:44
  start regarding that energy as being so sacred
• 1:08:48
  and again like you can access that through so
• 1:08:51
  many different avenues but dieta is is really
• 1:08:55
  just such a potent invitation back into that
• 1:08:57
  because I mean, that is one of like the biggest
• 1:09:00
  no's, one of the biggest ways that you can break
• 1:09:03
  your dieta. And so you are just invited to be
• 1:09:07
  in that space of just sitting in that energy
• 1:09:10
  and learning how to alchemize it, learning how
• 1:09:12
  to turn it into creative output, learning how
• 1:09:15
  to turn it into this energetic flow that can
• 1:09:18
  be used for so many other things. Yeah, absolutely.
• 1:09:25
  Absolutely. in terms of like collective consciousness
• 1:09:29
  is like that one is real twisted up you know
• 1:09:34
  like you said like even being on diet and you
• 1:09:37
  know like we're taking away all of these things
• 1:09:40
  you know and it's like not only do you not have
• 1:09:42
  sex you're not meant to think about sex you know
• 1:09:45
  what i mean and like i'm like living with my
• 1:09:49
  partner and we're doing this together and like
• 1:09:52
  there's so much respect in the house of like
• 1:09:55
  how we be around each other energetically because
• 1:09:58
  of you know the dieta process and then at the
• 1:10:01
  same second i open up my phone and then the instagram
• 1:10:03
  algorithm is like look at this look at this look
• 1:10:06
  at this and it's like fuck me it's like you cannot
• 1:10:09
  escape it you know and you're like oh maybe i'll
• 1:10:11
  just like throw on some music you know and it's
• 1:10:13
  like yeah and the hoes and the bitches and the
• 1:10:15
  this and the that you know and it's like it's
• 1:10:18
  everywhere yeah it really is God, these young
• 1:10:22
  men, we've got fucking problems, serious problems.
• 1:10:26
  But to think also just one last piece to kind
• 1:10:29
  of like wrap up this portion of the discussion
• 1:10:31
  is like exactly that. Like it's everywhere. And
• 1:10:35
  in everything that you do, there is always something
• 1:10:39
  that is vying for that piece of your awareness.
• 1:10:42
  And so when you begin to learn. how to control
• 1:10:48
  your awareness and how to bring your awareness
• 1:10:50
  away from those things that are trying to siphon
• 1:10:53
  your attention, that are trying to distort your
• 1:10:55
  sexual energy, that are trying to use that energy
• 1:10:59
  to control you, to really reap you of your life
• 1:11:03
  force. When you begin to call that energy back
• 1:11:05
  into yourself, when it is present in almost every
• 1:11:09
  aspect of our life, just think of the power of
• 1:11:13
  that. It is so immense. It's creation itself,
• 1:11:19
  you know? Yeah. Unbelievable. Okay. So as someone
• 1:11:24
  who has held space for people through their processes
• 1:11:29
  and in the medicine journeys and things like
• 1:11:31
  this, I'm curious what you do in terms of practices
• 1:11:37
  or other medicines that you work with to stay
• 1:11:40
  clean. Yeah. Beautiful. Energetically. So obviously
• 1:11:45
  like dieta was a massive practice of devotion
• 1:11:49
  to cleaning myself, but also through learning
• 1:11:54
  the ins and outs of dieta through working with
• 1:11:57
  the master plants. One of the biggest things
• 1:11:59
  that has come into my field now that I'm routinely
• 1:12:02
  working with our flower baths and using flower
• 1:12:07
  essences and plant essences to cleanse and clear
• 1:12:10
  my energetic. field as a whole. And so flower
• 1:12:15
  baths are a big part of my daily practices, weekly
• 1:12:19
  practices. They're also something that I incorporate
• 1:12:21
  into ceremonies now to help other people just
• 1:12:24
  cleanse and clear before and after ceremony to
• 1:12:27
  help them really just protect their energetic
• 1:12:29
  field. Like we have so many plant allies and
• 1:12:32
  the ones that we work with will be so individual
• 1:12:35
  for us based on where we are in our journey.
• 1:12:38
  It's to just really, again, connect with the
• 1:12:42
  spirit of those plants and call the spirit of
• 1:12:44
  those plants in to help us invoke those cloaks
• 1:12:48
  of protection and to cleanse and clear our field
• 1:12:50
  and to protect us in those spaces. It's such
• 1:12:52
  a simple practice, yet it has been so powerful
• 1:12:55
  for me to incorporate for myself and for the
• 1:12:57
  people that I work with. Mapacho has also become
• 1:13:01
  a massive ally for me. And working with Mapacho
• 1:13:05
  was also... It really invited me to readdress
• 1:13:10
  my relationship and my perspective of tobacco
• 1:13:13
  as a whole and really see how we as a Western
• 1:13:16
  culture have, again, we've used and abused that
• 1:13:20
  plant spirit, that powerful, powerful, beautiful
• 1:13:23
  plant spirit. And we have created an addictive
• 1:13:26
  substance out of it. We have added toxins to
• 1:13:29
  it. And Mapacho. really, to me, represents the
• 1:13:33
  divine masculine as, again, like the protector.
• 1:13:36
  So he comes into those spaces and he invokes
• 1:13:39
  that cloak of protection. He helps clean our
• 1:13:41
  energy. But in order to actually work with Mipasha,
• 1:13:45
  we have to recultivate our spirit or our relationship
• 1:13:48
  with tobacco. And as somebody, I myself had never
• 1:13:51
  smoked anything before I started getting into
• 1:13:55
  this work and learning how these plant spirits
• 1:13:57
  and essences could be used. for our benefit and
• 1:14:01
  in this co -creative relationship way, I just
• 1:14:04
  had such a distorted view of what tobacco was.
• 1:14:09
  And so for me learning about Mapacho and about
• 1:14:13
  the qualities of tobacco as a medicine and as
• 1:14:16
  an offering and as an aspect of ceremony, that
• 1:14:20
  journey in and of itself has been so powerful.
• 1:14:23
  And as I've worked more and more with Mapacho,
• 1:14:26
  he has started to ask me to share him with specific
• 1:14:29
  people. And so I do bring him into the ceremonial
• 1:14:32
  space and I do share him with those that I feel
• 1:14:35
  called to share with. And that, again, is such
• 1:14:39
  a powerful practice to not only to use the smoke
• 1:14:43
  to cleanse and clear our energy, but to use the
• 1:14:45
  smoke to cleanse and clear the energy of others,
• 1:14:47
  to cleanse and clear the space. And again, it's
• 1:14:50
  all about right relation, right? Like it's acknowledging
• 1:14:53
  the spirit in this beautiful plant ally and coming
• 1:14:58
  into relationship with that spirit instead of
• 1:15:00
  just using it or practicing with it. I think
• 1:15:08
  one thing to add just for people is like a little
• 1:15:11
  bit of like context here as well. it's very easy
• 1:15:16
  to hear these things i like picture myself as
• 1:15:18
  like 18 year old matt who's like in the process
• 1:15:21
  of becoming a physicist and it's just like rational
• 1:15:24
  as fuck you know it's very easy to write these
• 1:15:28
  things off you know but it really comes down
• 1:15:31
  to direct experience where you feel it immediately
• 1:15:35
  you know like when i feel there's like a disturbance
• 1:15:39
  in the energetic fields or even like disturbance
• 1:15:41
  in the house you know like i'll do a plant bath
• 1:15:45
  and it's within 15 seconds like you know gone
• 1:15:49
  cleared yeah and like you do that a couple times
• 1:15:52
  and then it's again it's coherence yeah absolutely
• 1:15:56
  yeah um the other two practices for me are fasting
• 1:16:04
  and prayer Just being in a devotional practice
• 1:16:09
  every day where I am praying and I am just cultivating
• 1:16:14
  my connection to self and soul and my connection
• 1:16:17
  to God. And that, again, has been such a journey
• 1:16:19
  for me. I mean, I grew up Catholic and then just
• 1:16:23
  dissociated from religion entirely and didn't
• 1:16:26
  even want to use the word God or to pray in any
• 1:16:29
  sort of way, shape or form. And it's been working
• 1:16:33
  with the plants. that has brought me back to
• 1:16:35
  that. It hasn't been revisiting religion or going
• 1:16:39
  back and reading the Bible, which, I mean, I'm
• 1:16:41
  starting to just get curious and explore all
• 1:16:44
  of these things now, but it was really working
• 1:16:47
  with the plants that really started to invite
• 1:16:51
  me back into prayer. back into connecting with
• 1:16:56
  god and and knowing that that exists within us
• 1:17:00
  and it's available to us and there's no one way
• 1:17:04
  to go about it there's no church or book that
• 1:17:08
  is going to create that connection within us
• 1:17:11
  i just truly believe it has to be discovered
• 1:17:13
  and for me that process of discovery was working
• 1:17:16
  with the plants i mean they're such amazing teachers
• 1:17:21
  especially there's something to attuning to the
• 1:17:24
  way they communicate with us where it isn't like
• 1:17:26
  language, you know, it's like sensation and emotion
• 1:17:30
  and insight and vision where you really begin
• 1:17:34
  to understand what prayer is through that process.
• 1:17:37
  You know, prayer isn't the words that you say.
• 1:17:41
  It's that vibration that you're at when you're
• 1:17:44
  in that place and the words can like, they can
• 1:17:45
  help us get there, you know, but it's that vibration.
• 1:17:49
  That's the prayer, you know? And, you know, our
• 1:17:53
  teacher, he says, like, life is simple. Everyone
• 1:17:56
  really overcomplicates it. Life is simple. You
• 1:17:58
  wake up, you pray, you do your work, you help
• 1:18:00
  your community, you love your family, and then
• 1:18:02
  you pray and then you go to bed. I will never
• 1:18:06
  forget the ceremony in Uvita where he concluded
• 1:18:12
  ceremony by inviting us all to ask ourselves,
• 1:18:16
  what does it look like? for you to step out of
• 1:18:19
  the ceremony space and continue to live your
• 1:18:21
  life as a walking prayer that's something that
• 1:18:27
  i am constantly asking myself to reflect on like
• 1:18:30
  it and is the way that i'm showing up right now
• 1:18:33
  is is this a walking prayer Is this something
• 1:18:37
  that I truly feel is in the frequency of prayer,
• 1:18:41
  is honoring who I am and how I'm showing up in
• 1:18:45
  the world and everyone that I'm interacting with?
• 1:18:47
  Is this honoring the medicine and the wisdom
• 1:18:50
  that has been shared with me by these plants,
• 1:18:53
  by these teachers? How am I showing up as a prayer,
• 1:18:58
  in prayer, in divine relation and connection
• 1:19:02
  to all that is? Yeah. And for me, like, it really
• 1:19:07
  just feels like at this point, with such an understanding
• 1:19:11
  of what I actually am, you know, like, not this
• 1:19:14
  body, not this human, like this, this spirit,
• 1:19:16
  this awareness. And it's like, I am prayer. You
• 1:19:20
  know what I mean? And like, my life is my prayer.
• 1:19:24
  And like, I invite the listeners, like, if you
• 1:19:26
  did, like, you know, kind of look at your life
• 1:19:29
  right now and zoom out. It's like, is that prayer?
• 1:19:32
  You know? Like, I think how you put it was beautiful.
• 1:19:36
  Like, you know, everything that's been shared
• 1:19:39
  with you, that wisdom, the plants, their medicine,
• 1:19:41
  all these, like, are you doing that justice?
• 1:19:43
  And it's so easy with these medicines to, to
• 1:19:47
  get into a relationship to some degree of like
• 1:19:52
  seeking peak experience and keep going back to
• 1:19:56
  the wishing well, you know, and there's like
• 1:20:00
  times to go deep and there's times to integrate
• 1:20:02
  and. like now i just get a big long list of instructions
• 1:20:06
  like i get some cleaning done for sure you know
• 1:20:09
  but it's like you need to go and do these things
• 1:20:12
  and now i'm at a point where i'm like okay like
• 1:20:15
  for me to honor the medicine is actually for
• 1:20:19
  me to go and tick all these things off you know
• 1:20:23
  i don't need to go back again and be told the
• 1:20:25
  list i already know it you know and like part
• 1:20:28
  of me starting this podcast was that list It
• 1:20:31
  was like, you need to start praying to the world,
• 1:20:35
  you know? Like, this is my prayer. I love that.
• 1:20:38
  I love that. Yeah. And as Maestro says, like,
• 1:20:42
  live your thank you, right? Like, I remember
• 1:20:44
  being so thankful after the first ceremony and
• 1:20:48
  everyone just thank you, thank you, thank you,
• 1:20:50
  thank you. And all he said was live your thank
• 1:20:52
  you, right? Like, live in such a way that you
• 1:20:56
  are honoring that which you have received. and
• 1:20:59
  all that you are and all that you have been and
• 1:21:02
  all that you are becoming live your thank you
• 1:21:05
  codes like that's that's it you know what i mean
• 1:21:13
  it's really that simple like we could end the
• 1:21:16
  podcast i want to keep going but we could i want
• 1:21:19
  to keep going too Like if you take anything away,
• 1:21:24
  like listen to that last 10 minutes, like three
• 1:21:26
  more times. And thank you also for. for really
• 1:21:30
  receiving what you've received in the ceremony
• 1:21:33
  space and taking the responsibility for yourself
• 1:21:36
  to honor that and to show up in this way, to
• 1:21:39
  listen to those pings from your soul and to say,
• 1:21:42
  okay, I have been invited to share my medicine
• 1:21:46
  and to speak to the world and to use technology
• 1:21:50
  as a means of sharing wisdom and medicine and
• 1:21:55
  communicating and connecting with others. It's
• 1:21:58
  so easy. today's day and age to just get so wrapped
• 1:22:01
  up in how many things are wrong with the world
• 1:22:05
  and the darkness and the shadow and everything
• 1:22:07
  and to see our phones as these awful devices
• 1:22:10
  and everything. But if we can just come back
• 1:22:12
  to that question of how do we live as this walking
• 1:22:16
  prayer and how do we honor what we have received?
• 1:22:18
  How do we show up in the way that we are really
• 1:22:21
  truly feeling our soul is asking us to show up
• 1:22:24
  in the world? that's what we're feeding with
• 1:22:27
  our awareness and our energy and so that's what
• 1:22:29
  we are going to build that's what we are going
• 1:22:31
  to cultivate in our garden and that's really
• 1:22:35
  that to me is the work right so thank you for
• 1:22:38
  having this platform i feel like i feel like
• 1:22:41
  you just click something in my in my understanding
• 1:22:44
  just then of i found this path literally through
• 1:22:50
  podcast you know like the psilocybin and like
• 1:22:56
  the LSD had come into my life but it was actually
• 1:22:58
  listening to a Graham Hancock podcast when I
• 1:23:01
  was like 18 years old and it was just like my
• 1:23:04
  entire life dissolved in that moment and my north
• 1:23:07
  star became ayahuasca and it was like nothing
• 1:23:09
  else mattered and for me as like a kid in Sydney
• 1:23:14
  with like no connections to the jungle like this
• 1:23:18
  signal snuck through you know? And because of
• 1:23:21
  that, my entire life has radically changed and
• 1:23:24
  I'm so happy with the way my life is going right
• 1:23:28
  now. And there's ups and downs. It's like, not,
• 1:23:30
  not everything's perfect, but like beautiful
• 1:23:33
  lessons, you know? But yeah, I just like, it
• 1:23:36
  really feels like, man, like 18 year old Matt
• 1:23:39
  would have loved these conversations. And like,
• 1:23:42
  I'm just here to like throw them out there. Beautiful.
• 1:23:46
  I found so many of my teachers through podcasts
• 1:23:48
  as well. The training that I did in Sedona was
• 1:23:50
  somebody that I found through a podcast. And
• 1:23:53
  so, yeah, I mean, we're not, we're not here to
• 1:23:55
  save anybody. We're not here to change anybody's
• 1:23:58
  ideas or perspectives, but in the act of sharing
• 1:24:02
  the medicine and the wisdom that we have received,
• 1:24:05
  we just, we plant seeds and everyone else has
• 1:24:09
  their own sovereign free will choice ability
• 1:24:11
  to water the seeds that they see fit. yeah and
• 1:24:16
  understand that they are sovereign you can go
• 1:24:19
  crazy with your life you know and there's part
• 1:24:21
  of me that i have like a funny kind of relationship
• 1:24:24
  with my soul to some degree where my soul wants
• 1:24:28
  me to like you know walk this certain way and
• 1:24:31
  i can't leave at this point it's like if i was
• 1:24:34
  tried to plug myself back into the matrix like
• 1:24:36
  a bus would just hit me like it's it's it's i've
• 1:24:40
  gone too far to go back you know um but my soul
• 1:24:45
  wants me to like really refine my prayer and
• 1:24:49
  like my like little identity collection that
• 1:24:53
  i have right now just wants to tell an amazing
• 1:24:55
  story with my life like for creator that's like
• 1:24:59
  kind of like the way that i can kind of piece
• 1:25:01
  it together where like i am gonna do something
• 1:25:04
  epic consistently you know i love that i love
• 1:25:09
  that and you know like that brings up this really
• 1:25:12
  important principle too like at least this is
• 1:25:15
  how I see it like yes we are a soul living in
• 1:25:18
  this avatar of this body and we also did come
• 1:25:23
  here to have a human experience and so we came
• 1:25:27
  here to play we came here to be curious we came
• 1:25:30
  here to explore the many facets of this human
• 1:25:33
  existence and yeah sometimes we're going to fall
• 1:25:36
  off the path sometimes we're going to make decisions
• 1:25:38
  that aren't 100 % in alignment with soul but
• 1:25:41
  also like It's about giving ourselves grace and
• 1:25:44
  then using that information to learn and move
• 1:25:46
  forwards. But at the end of the day, this whole
• 1:25:49
  experience is so beyond ridiculous. Like if we
• 1:25:53
  are not playing and laughing and being silly
• 1:25:57
  gooses and just exploring the many ways that
• 1:26:00
  we can express ourselves and our identity, then
• 1:26:02
  what are we even doing here? And I see that in
• 1:26:06
  the maestros, you know, it's like. the ceremonies
• 1:26:09
  can get crazy you know and then at the end they're
• 1:26:13
  all like cracking jokes like that's the way you
• 1:26:18
  know like darkness comes you know on the other
• 1:26:21
  side we laugh smile into your bucket yeah exactly
• 1:26:26
  yeah and like just man and like you were saying
• 1:26:29
  like you need to give yourself so much grace
• 1:26:31
  in this life you know like i've had moments where
• 1:26:36
  i was actually sitting with someone that we both
• 1:26:38
  know but i'm not gonna name names um and i very
• 1:26:41
  much respect this man you know and i was like
• 1:26:48
  sometimes i just feel like i'm not i'm not where
• 1:26:52
  i am meant to be you know and he was like bro
• 1:26:57
  you need to just chill the out you know like
• 1:27:00
  you're like 28. he was like i was still a cocaine
• 1:27:04
  addict at 33. you know yeah and it's like okay
• 1:27:10
  wait no maybe you're right maybe maybe we'll
• 1:27:13
  get there you know it's like so much grace it's
• 1:27:16
  so easy to like envision in the mind what perfection
• 1:27:18
  looks like and like you're gonna just let yourself
• 1:27:20
  down every time 100 and Our mind just has all
• 1:27:24
  of these ideas of what it wants that are all
• 1:27:27
  just tied to our programs, to what we're carrying
• 1:27:31
  from our lineage. And there's no way our mind
• 1:27:35
  could ever fathom what our soul has laid out
• 1:27:38
  for us. And so to just give ourselves grace and
• 1:27:41
  allow the path to unfold while we still have...
• 1:27:46
  playfulness and curiosity and exploration. That
• 1:27:49
  to me, we really came here to do that. And when
• 1:27:53
  we're doing this work to connect to our soul,
• 1:27:56
  I mean, I say this loosely, but there is no right
• 1:28:03
  or wrong choice because they're going to lead
• 1:28:05
  to that path of fulfillment when we're doing
• 1:28:07
  the work to shed the layers of distortion and
• 1:28:11
  illusion and connect to our soul. There's so
• 1:28:15
  many ways that we can find fulfillment and that
• 1:28:19
  we can align with our soul's path. There are
• 1:28:22
  so many different potentials that we can explore.
• 1:28:25
  And so we get to choose which we want to explore.
• 1:28:29
  And each of them are going to come with their
• 1:28:31
  own challenges, with their own wins, with their
• 1:28:33
  own struggles and triumphs. But we have free
• 1:28:36
  will choice for that reason, right? To explore.
• 1:28:41
  Yeah. At least my understanding of health as
• 1:28:45
  well, how it's evolved is spirit is the cure
• 1:28:49
  all. If you're like working with plants, but
• 1:28:55
  they're like getting you closer to spirit, then
• 1:28:57
  you're heading in the right direction. You know,
• 1:28:59
  if you're working with like different detox practices
• 1:29:02
  that are allowing more spirit to enter, then
• 1:29:03
  we're heading in the right direction. Like spirit
• 1:29:06
  is the cure all and spirit is like infinitely
• 1:29:09
  curious and joyous. you know like that's where
• 1:29:14
  we're heading to some degree you know ups and
• 1:29:17
  downs but like that's that's that's the ticket
• 1:29:20
  at least from my perspective right now yeah yeah
• 1:29:22
  that's beautiful and it also reminds me of like
• 1:29:24
  the word inspiration comes from in spiritus,
• 1:29:29
  in spirit. So inspiration comes when we are in
• 1:29:32
  spirit, when we are connected to spirit. And
• 1:29:35
  so we find inspiration to connect to soul and
• 1:29:39
  to express ourselves through our own unique individual
• 1:29:43
  creative outlets, through art, through music,
• 1:29:45
  through being in spirit, which brings us inspiration.
• 1:29:51
  Oh, I never heard that before. That's amazing.
• 1:29:55
  Yeah. The etymology is so cool. Etymology is,
• 1:29:59
  yeah, that's a rabbit hole I will forever continue
• 1:30:02
  to dive down. Yeah, because we've forgotten where
• 1:30:09
  all of this came from, you know? We really have
• 1:30:13
  no idea. And there's so many, even when you just
• 1:30:17
  break up words. One of my favorite ones is responsibility,
• 1:30:21
  right? It's your ability to respond. And everyone
• 1:30:25
  walks around like it's a boulder on their back
• 1:30:27
  that they're trying to hold, you know, like the
• 1:30:29
  great God going up the mountain. But it's actually
• 1:30:32
  just, can you respond in the moment? Do you trust
• 1:30:34
  yourself to respond in the moment? Then you have
• 1:30:37
  responsibility. Done. Let it go. Put the fucking
• 1:30:40
  boulder down. I know we've touched on it. throughout
• 1:30:52
  the entire call basically. But as someone who
• 1:30:58
  is both a guide in their own right and also has
• 1:31:03
  worked with a lot of the people I would consider
• 1:31:06
  my guides and important mentors as well, I'm
• 1:31:10
  curious what you think of the importance of finding
• 1:31:16
  teachers, particularly like on this path. I think.
• 1:31:21
  Having teachers is one of the most important
• 1:31:25
  things on this path, whether those are plant
• 1:31:27
  teachers or teachers in human form. And I think
• 1:31:31
  both, right? Like, as you shared before, so many
• 1:31:35
  of those teachers in human form are... quite
• 1:31:39
  literally the reason that you've gotten to where
• 1:31:40
  you are today and and because we have lost touch
• 1:31:44
  with so much of the ancient wisdom and and like
• 1:31:47
  true elders are becoming few and far between
• 1:31:50
  in today's day and age and so i think that's
• 1:31:54
  really where the plants come in like the plants
• 1:31:55
  bring that elder wisdom in but also i mean we
• 1:31:59
  are experiencing this existence in human form.
• 1:32:03
  So I do also believe it's very important for
• 1:32:06
  us to have human teachers that can bring in the
• 1:32:11
  essence of humanness into the teachings. Because
• 1:32:15
  yes, we can learn so much profound wisdom from
• 1:32:18
  the plants, but to actually be able to assimilate
• 1:32:22
  that into our intellectual mind into our identity
• 1:32:28
  into our character and then be able to bring
• 1:32:32
  that forth into the world in this human experience
• 1:32:34
  I think it's very important for us to have human
• 1:32:38
  teachers as well and for myself it's just kind
• 1:32:42
  of a principle like if if someone does not have
• 1:32:46
  their own teacher I don't have a desire to learn
• 1:32:49
  from them because i think we all need teachers
• 1:32:52
  there's not a single one of us who is an enlightened
• 1:32:55
  being who has figured out every aspect of this
• 1:32:59
  existence i think we all need teachers to continuously
• 1:33:03
  embody the role of being a student of this path
• 1:33:06
  because how are we students if we don't have
• 1:33:09
  teachers a whole a whole and like the teachers
• 1:33:14
  it implies like to be taught like you need to
• 1:33:19
  be, you still need to keep going, you know? Yeah.
• 1:33:22
  Like, they keep going. The Shipibo down in the
• 1:33:27
  jungle, the really high -level maestros, you
• 1:33:30
  know, the Mariahs, the Bunko, like, they keep
• 1:33:33
  going. They're 80 years old and they're dieting
• 1:33:36
  17 trees at the same time. They only go further,
• 1:33:41
  you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. And what I
• 1:33:45
  was, sorry, I just wanted to share this one last
• 1:33:47
  piece when I was talking before about the natural
• 1:33:49
  flow of energy too. If we want to teach, we need
• 1:33:55
  to be taught. So we need to be receiving information
• 1:33:58
  so that we can give information and put information
• 1:34:02
  out into the world. We need to create that natural
• 1:34:06
  flux, that natural channel that wants to come
• 1:34:09
  through us. We need to have a teacher to be a
• 1:34:13
  teacher. That's at least how I see it. For sure.
• 1:34:17
  Yeah. And you get to pick, you know, thank God.
• 1:34:22
  Like I know one of my teachers in particular,
• 1:34:25
  amazing. I would not be the man I am today. His
• 1:34:30
  medicine, not for everyone, you know? Yeah. And
• 1:34:34
  that's, that's totally okay. You know? Yeah.
• 1:34:37
  And I mean, even some of the teachers I've had
• 1:34:40
  in the past, I don't agree with a lot of their
• 1:34:43
  teachings anymore. But their teachings at the
• 1:34:47
  time that I received them were integral for me
• 1:34:50
  to learn what I needed to learn so that I can
• 1:34:53
  become who I am here today. Oh, ain't that the
• 1:34:59
  truth. Wow, this is a good medicine chat. I want
• 1:35:05
  to switch gears a little bit, but it's so juicy.
• 1:35:10
  I could talk about medicine for the rest of my
• 1:35:13
  life, I feel like. I mean, that's what I intend
• 1:35:16
  to do with this podcast. I love it. I love it.
• 1:35:21
  Yeah. Okay. Switching gears a little bit. There's
• 1:35:24
  just a few things I want to just dive into and
• 1:35:26
  get your perspective on. So one thing I'm super
• 1:35:29
  into right now is... coming to ayahuasca i came
• 1:35:36
  to learn and then i realized to learn i need
• 1:35:40
  to heal and then it took me a while to work out
• 1:35:43
  what i actually needed to heal you know and this
• 1:35:46
  big kick i'm on right now is like deep gut healing
• 1:35:50
  deep you know and like the parasite cleansing
• 1:35:55
  and all that kind of stuff so i'm really curious
• 1:35:58
  how As someone who has explored this yourself,
• 1:36:04
  like I'd love to hear the importance of these
• 1:36:06
  practices on your worldview. I mean, I could
• 1:36:12
  go into a massive tangent on the gut brain connection,
• 1:36:15
  but I'll just shelf that. For me, healing my
• 1:36:19
  gut has been what has allowed me to connect to
• 1:36:23
  my soul. Because I mean, I deeply believe that
• 1:36:26
  just the principle of the gut brain connection,
• 1:36:29
  our gut health. reflects in our mental health
• 1:36:33
  and how our mind is working so if we have blockages
• 1:36:36
  or stagnancy in the gut we're also going to have
• 1:36:39
  blockages and stagnancy in our mind and a lot
• 1:36:43
  of this work is really unraveling all of the
• 1:36:46
  processes and the stories of the mind but if
• 1:36:48
  we can't actually access that as clean information
• 1:36:52
  because there's a buildup of toxins or there's
• 1:36:55
  parasites or there's bacterial overload then
• 1:36:59
  we're just, in my experience, we're just going
• 1:37:02
  to continue to loop. And my gut health, it just,
• 1:37:06
  it bled into everything in my life. My gut health
• 1:37:10
  impacted my hormones. My gut health impacted
• 1:37:12
  anxiety and depression. My gut health impacted
• 1:37:15
  my sex drive. My gut health impacted my relationships.
• 1:37:18
  My gut health impacted so many things. And so
• 1:37:21
  until I really started to address my gut health,
• 1:37:26
  A lot of the things that I was doing, the breath
• 1:37:29
  work, the meditation and everything, it was just,
• 1:37:31
  I mean, it was a band -aid solution really because
• 1:37:34
  I wasn't getting down to the root. And our gut
• 1:37:37
  is our second brain. Our gut is where we produce
• 1:37:41
  so many of our hormones and the chemicals that
• 1:37:45
  are impacting every system in the body. And so
• 1:37:48
  gut health to me is such a crucial aspect. of
• 1:37:53
  the work it just it's a pillar it's a foundation
• 1:37:56
  and it's like it's like you know everything's
• 1:38:01
  like energetic first and becomes physical at
• 1:38:03
  least from my perspective and when we're talking
• 1:38:06
  about literally removing the physical waste of
• 1:38:09
  the body if you go okay now we're not doing that
• 1:38:12
  or we're not doing that effectively like we're
• 1:38:15
  holding on to this waste and this waste is just
• 1:38:18
  continuously circulating through the body And
• 1:38:21
  I think there's a lot of people out there who
• 1:38:23
  are like potentially not in the greatest, like,
• 1:38:26
  you know, mental health kind of space. And I
• 1:38:31
  honestly think like if people cleared their guts
• 1:38:34
  out, there would be, it'd be a profound change
• 1:38:38
  in their life. Like I would be someone who I
• 1:38:41
  would consider to be like a really relatively
• 1:38:43
  healthy individual, you know? And the shit that
• 1:38:47
  has come out of me recently is. unbelievable
• 1:38:52
  you know like unbelievable like literally i know
• 1:38:58
  this is like kind of gross but like literally
• 1:39:00
  last week i out like a 12 inch worm wow you know
• 1:39:06
  it's like yeah that guy was just in there just
• 1:39:10
  living off me that's wild and also not i mean
• 1:39:14
  we we also have to take into consideration i
• 1:39:17
  mean no matter how healthy we perceive that we
• 1:39:22
  are and how healthy we're eating and how healthy
• 1:39:24
  our lifestyle is it's just inevitable in the
• 1:39:28
  world that we live in that we're going to take
• 1:39:32
  on toxins and we can become a victim of that
• 1:39:35
  we can create stories out of that we can hyper
• 1:39:37
  fixate on that and create fear around that and
• 1:39:40
  then create all of those energies in our body
• 1:39:42
  or we can say okay what can i actually do to
• 1:39:47
  assist my body not because there's anything wrong
• 1:39:50
  with our body or because we need to fix it but
• 1:39:52
  what can i do to assist my body in its detox
• 1:39:56
  processes that are inevitably being hindered
• 1:40:00
  by the toxins in our water, in the air, in the
• 1:40:03
  food system, like all of these things. It's just
• 1:40:05
  like taking radical responsibility and treating
• 1:40:08
  our body as a vessel. And the gut is at the root.
• 1:40:13
  The gut impacts every other system. And so to
• 1:40:16
  totally negate our gut health or to think that
• 1:40:19
  our gut health isn't quite literally impacting
• 1:40:21
  everything else is naivety. yeah and again like
• 1:40:27
  the energetically of like not only is it the
• 1:40:30
  thing releasing waste it's also the thing digesting
• 1:40:32
  the world you know and it's like man you're gonna
• 1:40:37
  have a hard time and i'm just like starting to
• 1:40:39
  see my awareness like click on in like whole
• 1:40:41
  new ways by uh by working on this and especially
• 1:40:44
  like when we look at like the energetics in the
• 1:40:47
  body like the like the dantians from like chinese
• 1:40:53
  medicine you have like the the lower dantian
• 1:40:56
  is like right below your belly button you know
• 1:40:58
  and that's like your energy reserves that's like
• 1:41:02
  energy that's like in ice it's like frozen and
• 1:41:04
  then it becomes chi which is like the water that
• 1:41:06
  flows you know and like if your guts are leaking
• 1:41:09
  like you can't store the energy yeah yeah 100
• 1:41:14
  yeah when i was dealing with leaky gut and SIBO
• 1:41:17
  i mean i i i couldn't focus i couldn't have an
• 1:41:22
  intellectual conversation i was going through
• 1:41:25
  massive massive ups and downs with my moods it
• 1:41:28
  was just like Everything was impacted. And then
• 1:41:32
  as I started to heal the gut, which had a very
• 1:41:37
  big energetic focus to it, it wasn't just supplements.
• 1:41:41
  It wasn't just detox protocols. It was actually
• 1:41:43
  addressing like, why is my gut leaky in the first
• 1:41:47
  place? Where am I lacking boundaries? Where am
• 1:41:51
  I not using my voice? Where am I not feeling
• 1:41:54
  safe and secure and thus impacting the stability
• 1:41:57
  of my root? Where is my sexual energy leaking
• 1:42:01
  impacting my sacral center? All of these things
• 1:42:04
  that are impacting the gut. I had to become aware
• 1:42:07
  of them or I didn't have to, but I chose to become
• 1:42:09
  aware of them so that I could begin to address
• 1:42:12
  that aspect, which became an integral part of
• 1:42:15
  my healing and still is. I mean, even on dieta,
• 1:42:18
  like a big physical focus of dieta for me was
• 1:42:22
  at least it was felt for me was that a lot of
• 1:42:25
  the physical healing that was happening was in
• 1:42:28
  my gut. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, and if it's something
• 1:42:35
  that people haven't looked into, like, I definitely
• 1:42:37
  recommend it. It took me a long time to, like,
• 1:42:39
  actually land there, you know, especially, like,
• 1:42:42
  being in the plant medicine, like, the plant
• 1:42:46
  medicine being my introduction and kind of putting
• 1:42:48
  almost, like, little importance on physical things
• 1:42:54
  to some degree because, like, I knew that, like,
• 1:42:57
  the emotional and the spiritual things were kind
• 1:43:00
  of, like, the cure -all, you know, but. there's
• 1:43:03
  like just like pretty simple things you can do
• 1:43:05
  to get moving and then like like you said like
• 1:43:07
  at least for me i've seen like as i've brought
• 1:43:11
  in physical things like binders you know the
• 1:43:14
  emotional things around boundaries are arising
• 1:43:17
  it's like I'll let it go, but you've got to let
• 1:43:20
  that go. It's like, oh, okay, okay. We can kind
• 1:43:24
  of find a vibe here. Yeah, it's all interconnected.
• 1:43:26
  And so when we start to heal and focus on the
• 1:43:30
  physical ailments in our body and the things
• 1:43:33
  that are in disorder or just out of harmony,
• 1:43:36
  then it also provides a gateway for us to look
• 1:43:39
  into the emotional aspect and the energetic aspect.
• 1:43:42
  So it's just all intertwined. Yeah. I have a
• 1:43:47
  question here that I actually just asked Emily,
• 1:43:50
  like what would be a good question for Sarah?
• 1:43:53
  And she said to ask you about the sacred teacher,
• 1:43:58
  a single piece of gum. A single piece of gum.
• 1:44:02
  Yeah. I don't really, I don't really have context
• 1:44:07
  for that. I think you ate a piece of gum and
• 1:44:10
  it became your teacher. Oh my goodness. Oh, maybe.
• 1:44:15
  oh okay well i mean what like what's coming up
• 1:44:19
  for me is i used to have when i was in university
• 1:44:22
  i used to be so addicted to chewing gum and it
• 1:44:26
  was like a like a busyness like keeping my mind
• 1:44:29
  busy um and that was also um just yeah so many
• 1:44:34
  things played into that but um i think perhaps
• 1:44:36
  i shared a story with emily about like years
• 1:44:40
  later after i was no longer addicted to chewing
• 1:44:43
  gum and had like been going through a lot of
• 1:44:45
  gut healing i chewed on one single stick of gum
• 1:44:49
  and i like within like 30 minutes i looked like
• 1:44:53
  i was nine months pregnant and it was like It
• 1:44:59
  was absolutely insane. But I had also like, so
• 1:45:01
  as I started to put the pieces together, I mean,
• 1:45:04
  I believe that because of my addiction to the
• 1:45:08
  gum, I developed like a hyper, hyper, hypersensitivity
• 1:45:12
  to aspartame and sucralose, which are things
• 1:45:15
  like if I touch them at all now, and even some
• 1:45:17
  of the like what they claim to be more natural
• 1:45:20
  sweeteners, like any of the sweeteners that end
• 1:45:23
  in OL, so the sugar alcohols, xylitol, sorbitol.
• 1:45:27
  I like if I literally look at them, my gut just
• 1:45:32
  goes into complete disarray. And so that for
• 1:45:37
  me, like that experience when I chewed that single
• 1:45:41
  piece of gum and my gut just went absolutely
• 1:45:43
  positively not, we are not going down this path
• 1:45:47
  again. It just brought me back to the innate
• 1:45:50
  wisdom of my body and how I had. I disregarded
• 1:45:53
  that for so long and ignored so much of the information
• 1:45:57
  that my body was bringing up for me until I literally
• 1:46:02
  was in a state of dis -ease and I like I was
• 1:46:05
  like knocked on my ass and I think sometimes
• 1:46:08
  like that's part of our humanness is that we
• 1:46:10
  wait for things to get so bad before we address
• 1:46:15
  them in any way shape or form and so now I am
• 1:46:20
  just so much more in tune with my body and with
• 1:46:23
  all of the information that it's bringing forth
• 1:46:25
  to me. But for the listener, like. I think this
• 1:46:28
  is such an integral aspect of doing this work
• 1:46:32
  to connect with soul and to connect with the
• 1:46:34
  body and to come back to spirit is we start to
• 1:46:37
  listen to all of the signals and all of the little
• 1:46:40
  pieces of information as they arise instead of
• 1:46:43
  waiting until we hit rock bottom until we're
• 1:46:47
  in a state of dis -ease until our mind is just
• 1:46:50
  so incredibly loud that we can no longer ignore
• 1:46:53
  it. to be able to cultivate this relationship
• 1:46:56
  with ourselves and even like working with the
• 1:46:58
  plants does this too like you start to learn
• 1:47:01
  how to notice state changes you start to learn
• 1:47:04
  how to really like the plants don't speak to
• 1:47:07
  you unless you're quiet that's the whole principle
• 1:47:09
  of dieta remove the noise and so you start to
• 1:47:11
  tune into the subtleties of medicines of your
• 1:47:15
  body of all the workings of the system of everything
• 1:47:18
  in your inner and your external environment and
• 1:47:22
  when we learn how to do that that's when like
• 1:47:27
  the real healing just the our healing and our
• 1:47:30
  growth just becomes exponential because we're
• 1:47:32
  tuning into all the subtleties instead of waiting
• 1:47:35
  for everything to just absolutely come to this
• 1:47:38
  precipice and the volcano to explode for us to
• 1:47:41
  actually go oh wow like there's something here
• 1:47:43
  that i should maybe address wow i'm really glad
• 1:47:49
  i asked about the gum that was an epic at first
• 1:47:52
  i was just like uh i have the gum no idea what
• 1:47:57
  you're talking about nice thank you emily so
• 1:48:00
  many blessings on that woman unreal oh man it's
• 1:48:05
  been so so much fun talking to you um what are
• 1:48:09
  you working on at the moment feel free to just
• 1:48:11
  plug away yeah Well, as I mentioned at the beginning
• 1:48:16
  of the podcast, I am really feeling – actually,
• 1:48:21
  maybe this was before we even started recording.
• 1:48:23
  I really feel like this chapter for me is really
• 1:48:25
  about going inwards again. I spent many months
• 1:48:29
  after Dieta getting back into the swing of things,
• 1:48:32
  getting back into facilitation, being of service,
• 1:48:35
  doing the work with and for others. my soul is
• 1:48:42
  just leading me back into a more inward phase
• 1:48:45
  and I really feel like 2026 is is going to bring
• 1:48:50
  about some really immense changes and so for
• 1:48:54
  me right now I'm just in this process of cleaning
• 1:48:57
  of refining I'm actually doing my cambo practitioner
• 1:49:00
  training next week but I'm just doing the self
• 1:49:03
  -service training so like I mean you asked me
• 1:49:05
  about cleaning before what do you do to clean
• 1:49:07
  and protect your energy so this is another tool
• 1:49:10
  that i'm going to add to my tool belt and i'm
• 1:49:12
  just doing the self application for myself first
• 1:49:15
  so that i can just serve myself so i can clean
• 1:49:18
  so i can develop a relationship with the medicine
• 1:49:20
  of cambo before I ever go to serve it to others
• 1:49:23
  but really for me it just keeps coming up like
• 1:49:25
  I just keep getting this message like just clean
• 1:49:27
  clean clean clean clean clean and so I'm just
• 1:49:31
  in a more inwards process right now and I'm focusing
• 1:49:34
  like the work I am doing is more so in my one
• 1:49:38
  -on -one mentorship containers it's more so in
• 1:49:41
  refining also my relationship with social media
• 1:49:44
  and and technology as a whole I do have a container
• 1:49:48
  that I'm working on right now that's going to
• 1:49:50
  be a course, a community. I mean, it feels like
• 1:49:54
  a movement. It feels so much bigger than just
• 1:49:57
  a course and a community. But it's something
• 1:49:59
  that actually came to me during Dieta and has
• 1:50:02
  just been growing and building and growing and
• 1:50:06
  building ever since. And so that's something
• 1:50:09
  that I am feeling is probably going to be launched
• 1:50:13
  around January. So I will be talking about that
• 1:50:16
  more on my social media. yeah i've been i've
• 1:50:20
  been in the same challenge that emily has been
• 1:50:22
  devoting herself to the messengers challenge
• 1:50:24
  which is showing up for 28 days straight on social
• 1:50:27
  media and that's that's brought up a lot for
• 1:50:30
  me too about like how am i showing up on this
• 1:50:32
  platform why am i showing up on this platform
• 1:50:34
  am i using this device that is my phone and and
• 1:50:38
  this tool that is social media in a way where
• 1:50:41
  i'm adding value to the world i'm allowing myself
• 1:50:44
  to be a channel to receive and to share my medicine
• 1:50:48
  and my wisdom without getting caught up in the
• 1:50:52
  distortions without allowing myself to become
• 1:50:54
  attached to it in a way where i'm seeking validation
• 1:50:58
  where i'm showing up from a place of a lack of
• 1:51:00
  safety or from the perfectionist or from the
• 1:51:03
  need to be a teacher it's just it's allowing
• 1:51:05
  me to just see and open my awareness and so that's
• 1:51:09
  really my focus right now is just clean and refine.
• 1:51:13
  And for me, the work right now, being of service
• 1:51:16
  is really in all of those. And if somebody is
• 1:51:21
  meant to work with me, I just trust that they're
• 1:51:23
  going to come into my field. I really don't feel
• 1:51:25
  called to advertise right now. I don't feel called
• 1:51:29
  to launch anything right now. I don't feel called
• 1:51:31
  to be pushing ceremonies. It's just, I'm just
• 1:51:35
  being in, and I'm in a state of learning how
• 1:51:38
  to trust. learning how to trust my soul on a
• 1:51:41
  much deeper level trust it's like you gotta just
• 1:51:47
  full trust you know like always have enough always
• 1:51:51
  i've always had enough you know and like you
• 1:51:55
  gotta take those crazy leaps and you gotta take
• 1:51:57
  those breaks it's like it's just that's the way
• 1:51:59
  oh that's super cool everything you're working
• 1:52:02
  on thanks for sharing yeah cambo is amazing i
• 1:52:05
  love that medicine it was such a brilliant spirit
• 1:52:08
  so different than like so much of the plant medicines
• 1:52:12
  that people are used to working with you know
• 1:52:14
  like animal spirit it speaks very clear and it
• 1:52:18
  speaks once so like you can't sit there and like
• 1:52:22
  be like oh is this what's coming through is this
• 1:52:24
  the intuition should i do this should i do that
• 1:52:26
  it's like now and it's like okay go you know
• 1:52:29
  and i just i love that about it and that's something
• 1:52:32
  i use like a lot you know to keep myself clean
• 1:52:35
  and uh yeah I'm excited for you to do your training
• 1:52:39
  because it's awesome and also serving people
• 1:52:41
  is always such an adventure you know like half
• 1:52:44
  the time it's super chill you know and like people
• 1:52:49
  just show up they're just like in their strength
• 1:52:51
  they're like in that courage that bravery that
• 1:52:53
  you need for such a masculine medicine and they
• 1:52:55
  just do the thing you know and then the other
• 1:52:58
  half they just like shit all over your living
• 1:53:00
  room and you're like fuck goodness camo is one
• 1:53:08
  of my favorite things to share with other people
• 1:53:11
  about and just just like see the look on people's
• 1:53:13
  faces where they're trying to conceptualize that
• 1:53:17
  you've actually like invested in a ceremony where
• 1:53:20
  you're going to like puke and shit and there's
• 1:53:26
  no vision yeah it's not psychedelic there's no
• 1:53:30
  crazy wild ethereal experience no you're just
• 1:53:34
  going to clean and that cleaning involves you
• 1:53:36
  purging your gut so and there's no guarantee
• 1:53:40
  what orifice that's coming out of and i i love
• 1:53:46
  it so much and it like has such a deep place
• 1:53:48
  in my heart and i have so much reverence for
• 1:53:50
  it because i was like in a pickle one time where
• 1:53:54
  i had a brown recluse spider bite my leg and
• 1:53:59
  it turns the skin necrotic and i kind of was
• 1:54:03
  just like i trust my body to heal this thing
• 1:54:05
  you know and it just kept getting worse and worse
• 1:54:07
  and worse and like now it's like it's like that
• 1:54:10
  big this hole on my leg and it was like an inch
• 1:54:13
  deep and i was like okay i need help i'm in a
• 1:54:16
  bad spot and uh I ended up going to the hospital
• 1:54:20
  and I got them to just reset the wound. So they
• 1:54:24
  basically just scraped all the dead flesh away.
• 1:54:26
  And then the next day I just did like seven points
• 1:54:30
  of cambo. And what came out of me was just pure
• 1:54:34
  battery acid. And then after that, like super
• 1:54:38
  painful ceremony too. It almost felt like someone
• 1:54:41
  had like poured gasoline on me and just lit a
• 1:54:44
  match. And my entire body was like pins and needles
• 1:54:47
  to the extreme. And I didn't purge for 19 minutes.
• 1:54:50
  And then I finally just released everything.
• 1:54:54
  And then after that, the wound healed like with
• 1:54:57
  almost immediately within three days, it was
• 1:55:00
  like, basically back to a baseline that was like
• 1:55:04
  good you know and i really saw what that medicine
• 1:55:07
  is capable of and it's like epic medicina yeah
• 1:55:12
  it is the stories that i have heard of what cambo
• 1:55:15
  has assisted people in healing i have a really
• 1:55:18
  close girlfriend from the states who suffered
• 1:55:21
  with lyme disease for years and years and years
• 1:55:24
  was in so much debt from the pharmaceuticals
• 1:55:28
  they had her on and just suffering and she just
• 1:55:31
  got a message literally like downloaded this
• 1:55:33
  message came through from spirit one day like
• 1:55:35
  you need to sit with cambo every day for the
• 1:55:37
  next year and i i don't know if it ended up being
• 1:55:41
  exactly every day but she sat with cambo like
• 1:55:43
  almost 200 times in the span of a year and basically
• 1:55:47
  cured herself of a disease that most doctors
• 1:55:50
  are like we don't really know a whole lot about
• 1:55:52
  this like yeah it the power of the medicines
• 1:55:57
  of this earth is just never ceases to amaze me
• 1:55:59
  no no and the further i walk the more medicines
• 1:56:04
  i learn about you know like the more secret ones
• 1:56:08
  and it just gets cooler yeah you know it's like
• 1:56:11
  this world is nothing like i thought it was nothing
• 1:56:16
  thank goodness it's nothing like our mind thought
• 1:56:19
  it was thank god there was some dark days back
• 1:56:24
  there when i was looking at everything fuck okay
• 1:56:28
  uh thank you so much sarah for coming on it was
• 1:56:31
  that was a really fun chat um yeah i really appreciate
• 1:56:36
  your wisdom and your insights and your capacity
• 1:56:40
  to share um and everything you're working on
• 1:56:45
  and you know it's like really nice to walk along
• 1:56:47
  this path with you thank you so Yeah, thank you.
• 1:56:51
  Likewise. It was an honor to be here. And thank
• 1:56:53
  you again for the work that you're doing and
• 1:56:55
  for having the courage to get on this platform
• 1:56:57
  and share your medicine as well. The world needs
• 1:57:01
  it. The world needs us all stepping into our
• 1:57:04
  gifts at this time too and listening to our soul.
• 1:57:09
  Oh, yeah. There's not a lot of things in life
• 1:57:11
  I'm good at, but chatting shit is definitely
• 1:57:13
  one of them. So I just figured I'd just lean
• 1:57:15
  in all the way. I love it. Yeah. Where can people
• 1:57:20
  find you? Yeah, Instagram's probably the best
• 1:57:23
  place. So my Instagram handle is at of sacred
• 1:57:28
  and soul. O -F -S -A -C. That's probably the
• 1:57:37
  best place to get in touch with me for right
• 1:57:39
  now. That's where I'll be launching and talking
• 1:57:42
  about everything for my next course and community,
• 1:57:45
  which will be launched on school. And then my
• 1:57:48
  podcast, which... honestly like your invitation
• 1:57:52
  to this episode has really inspired me to get
• 1:57:55
  back into podcasting because for a period of
• 1:57:59
  time i really was i mean i did go very inwards
• 1:58:02
  and it was necessary for me to take a step back
• 1:58:04
  but i also found myself after that almost in
• 1:58:08
  my mind about oh is this too sacred to share
• 1:58:12
  should i not be sharing this and and just these
• 1:58:16
  realizations that have poured through recently
• 1:58:18
  about the whole principle of energy and just
• 1:58:21
  like just show up and share and trust that what
• 1:58:26
  you're meant to share in the moment is going
• 1:58:27
  to be exactly what is needed to be shared and
• 1:58:30
  to be received and in doing so you're just going
• 1:58:32
  to keep your channel open to keep receiving and
• 1:58:35
  keep teaching and keep being a student of this
• 1:58:37
  path so my podcast which i will be vowing to
• 1:58:41
  myself to get back into recording and launching
• 1:58:44
  more episodes is called the big little soul podcast
• 1:58:47
  and that is found on spotify apple podcast basically
• 1:58:50
  all the big podcast platforms nice great name
• 1:58:55
  for the podcast too thank you when i first heard
• 1:58:57
  it i was like that's that's it thank you have
• 1:59:00
  to fuck it yeah awesome okay yeah thank you so
• 1:59:04
  much for the conversation It was really good.
• 1:59:08
  So I'll put all the links for all her stuff down
• 1:59:10
  below or wherever it should be to find a nice
• 1:59:14
  and easy. And yeah, that's it. That's another
• 1:59:18
  one. Thank you. All my relations. All my relations.