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Transcript

Sexualizing Your Dynamic · Kinky Cocktail Hour

• 0:01
  Lady Petra: You're listening to cocktail hour, a conversation between adults about sex forward relationships, kinky lifestyles, and frank communication.
• 0:11
  Lady Petra: If you're under 18, please stop listening and visit Scarletteen.com.
• 0:23
  Lady Petra: [inaudible] I'm lady Petra.
• 0:27
  Lady Petra: My pronouns are she her and hers.
• 0:30
  Lady Petra: I'm Saffermaster.
• 0:31
  Lady Petra: My pronouns are him his and he, And this is Kinky Cocktail Hour.
• 0:37
  Lady Petra: Cheers.
• 0:38
  Lady Petra: So what are we drinking today?
• 0:40
  Lady Petra: We, We are having something new and it's called an Aperol and lemon cello cocktail.
• 0:47
  Lady Petra: sure is pretty.
• 0:49
  Lady Petra: Yeah.
• 0:49
  Lady Petra: So it's equal parts of one part of vodka and lemon cello, and then two parts of Aperol or compari.
• 0:57
  Lady Petra: I used Aperol this time since that's the name of the, of the drink and we just got Aperol.
• 1:01
  Lady Petra: So we're trying to play with it and then three parts of orange juice.
• 1:06
  SafferMaster: Okay.
• 1:06
  Lady Petra: And then a smidgen of triple sec.
• 1:12
  SafferMaster: Wow.
• 1:11
  SafferMaster: Lets taste.
• 1:11
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 1:11
  SafferMaster: It's very interesting It's like fruity,
• 1:19
  Lady Petra: very orangy.
• 1:21
  SafferMaster: Orangy.
• 1:21
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 1:21
  SafferMaster: It's got like a reminds me of like a.
• 1:25
  Lady Petra: creamsicle.
• 1:26
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 1:27
  SafferMaster: It's like a little bit of creamcicle
• 1:28
  Lady Petra: It just doesn't have the cream part of it.
• 1:29
  Lady Petra: You could make this into a creamcicle though, by adding a little cream, you know, because it tastes like that.
• 1:36
  SafferMaster: It really does.
• 1:38
  Lady Petra: Isn't that great?
• 1:39
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 1:40
  Lady Petra: Its a Summer summary type drink, but we haven't used, uh, Limoncello is one of those liquors that is put in a lot of things like sparkling wine or soda.
• 1:52
  Lady Petra: T here's w hat's a spritzes but I wanted to see what other c ocktails could you make with that?
• 1:58
  Lady Petra: This was pretty good.
• 1:59
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 1:59
  SafferMaster: It's not too bad at all.
• 2:00
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 2:01
  SafferMaster: A little ice scream.
• 2:01
  SafferMaster: It'll go a long way.
• 2:02
  Lady Petra: I know.
• 2:03
  Lady Petra: I know.
• 2:05
  SafferMaster: Kind of a hot sex day.
• 2:07
  Lady Petra: Real hot sex day.
• 2:08
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 2:08
  Lady Petra: Yeah, definitely.
• 2:10
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 2:10
  SafferMaster: And it was made hot for a lot of reasons.
• 2:13
  SafferMaster: I mean, first of all, I just love fucking you.
• 2:17
  Lady Petra: We look forward to it.
• 2:19
  SafferMaster: We Do.
• 2:19
  SafferMaster: We actually do.
• 2:21
  SafferMaster: And there was some pent up energy.
• 2:25
  Lady Petra: Oh yeah.
• 2:26
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 2:27
  SafferMaster: So that was there.
• 2:28
  SafferMaster: And then I told you that there was a box of jewelry that just arrived for you earlier today.
• 2:37
  Lady Petra: Right.
• 2:39
  SafferMaster: And you got your jewelry.
• 2:42
  Lady Petra: Yes.
• 2:42
  Lady Petra: And put it on
• 2:43
  SafferMaster: Why don't you tell us what it is?
• 2:47
  Lady Petra: It's Clit Jewelry.
• 2:47
  SafferMaster: Surely it's clit jewelry basically.
• 2:49
  Lady Petra: Yeah.
• 2:49
  Lady Petra: It's a Bejeweled metal piece that fits around the perimeter of your clitoris.
• 2:55
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 2:56
  Lady Petra: And then your lips kind of stay to the side and then it's, and then it like elastic, like g-string type attachment.
• 3:02
  Lady Petra: Yeah.
• 3:03
  Lady Petra: And you know, I've seen him before and I've, I've been like, Oh, bejewel, your pussy, you know, and never really thought about anything other than it's bejeweling, but I had a different experience with it.
• 3:18
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 3:19
  Lady Petra: When my lips are spread and that's put in place for one, it keeps your lips open.
• 3:24
  Lady Petra: Right.
• 3:25
  Lady Petra: So you forget how wonderful your lips are in protecting your clitoris and keeping it moist and happy and warm.
• 3:33
  Lady Petra: And now it's just open.
• 3:34
  Lady Petra: And it reminds me of why I use or how I use a vibrator because it's the nerve bed that's on the base of the clitoris that goes in the perimeter.
• 3:47
  SafferMaster: Yeah
• 3:48
  Lady Petra: That is so highly sensitive.
• 3:50
  Lady Petra: That's where I orgasm the most.
• 3:51
  Lady Petra: That's why I, if your is rubbing up through there, that's why that base is so sensitive, right?
• 3:59
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 3:59
  Lady Petra: Well, the edges of this jewelry just drive themselves into that area the whole time.
• 4:06
  Lady Petra: So they're constantly stimulating those nerves right there all the time.
• 4:12
  SafferMaster: Right.
• 4:12
  Lady Petra: Where the tissue is usually lax and it's away from the nerves and it's pulled, you know, naturally pulled up because it's not being pushed back, which is very similar.
• 4:21
  Lady Petra: Like when you, you know, eat my, you spread me open, which then pulls the nerves up and the skin down.
• 4:28
  Lady Petra: And therefore I'm way more sensitive because it's, the nerves are engaged.
• 4:31
  Lady Petra: Well, this is kind of what this did.
• 4:33
  Lady Petra: And it was really hard to concentrate all day long.
• 4:35
  Lady Petra: Like I was very aware that I had this jewelry piece on all day long.
• 4:42
  Lady Petra: It wasn't like sometimes even when you do quit pumping or nipple pumping, you know, it's on.
• 4:48
  Lady Petra: But there is a point where it's somewhat desensitized after it's full is going to be, and it's not like you forget about it, but you aren't getting a constant stimulation.
• 4:59
  Lady Petra: Like you were in the beginning, this was constant,
• 5:02
  SafferMaster: Right?
• 5:03
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 5:03
  SafferMaster: I kept asking you how you're feeling and you were like, I'm really excited.
• 5:08
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 5:08
  Lady Petra: Yeah.
• 5:08
  Lady Petra: Like when I took it off to get ready and prepared.
• 5:12
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 5:13
  Lady Petra: You know, I had creamed all over the g-string, so I'm just like, gee whiz.
• 5:17
  Lady Petra: I'm a mess already.
• 5:19
  Lady Petra: You know, we haven't even started to play yet.
• 5:21
  Lady Petra: .
• 5:21
  SafferMaster: Yeah, I think the thought of you wearing that jewelry all day had me like sort of aroused.
• 5:33
  Lady Petra: Wound up?
• 5:33
  SafferMaster: Just emotionally aroused, like thinking of it.
• 5:36
  SafferMaster: And you know, I come back from my walk and you presented yourself, you've got clips on your nipples and your clit jewelry is on and you present your chain to me and I bring you over to the chair.
• 5:51
  SafferMaster: And I just look at you in that little g-string with the little clit jewelry.
• 5:57
  SafferMaster: It's just so sexy.
• 6:00
  SafferMaster: And when I came back, you know, I had tied my up with that ring.
• 6:05
  Lady Petra: Right, right.
• 6:05
  SafferMaster: You know, so that's already arousing.
• 6:08
  SafferMaster: And what I did was I took a vibrator to you.
• 6:11
  Lady Petra: Yes.
• 6:12
  SafferMaster: And so I'm taking advantage of the fact that you're aroused.
• 6:17
  Lady Petra: Yes.
• 6:17
  SafferMaster: and exposed.
• 6:19
  Lady Petra: Yes.
• 6:20
  SafferMaster: And so how did that occur for you?
• 6:21
  Lady Petra: It's crazy because it's not as if the Viber touches, my my clit is what is going to set me on fire.
• 6:29
  Lady Petra: What was setting me at fires.
• 6:30
  Lady Petra: You'd moved to the top where the Bejeweled part was.
• 6:32
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 6:33
  Lady Petra: And basically if that's the heaviest piece of jewelry.
• 6:36
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 6:36
  Lady Petra: But when you vibe there, it sends the vibration completely in a full circle, around the perimeter, on all the nerves at the same time.
• 6:46
  Lady Petra: And it's overwhelming, you know, I wonder, you know, when I use the Hitachi, cause I love the Hitachi, you know, that's how I use it on myself in, in that base motion.
• 7:00
  Lady Petra: Yes.
• 7:00
  Lady Petra: It's going by my clitt and I get that, but that, isn't what gets me from zero to 60.
• 7:06
  SafferMaster: Right.
• 7:06
  Lady Petra: it's those base nerves that are, and I always thought, like I remember telling you is we even did a pod on this.
• 7:12
  Lady Petra: And I think I thought I was broken.
• 7:14
  Lady Petra: Right.
• 7:16
  Lady Petra: Because just stimulated only, you know, with these little teeny handheld vibes, these little teeny things people use and just touch the tip of the clip and I'd be like, no, that's not doing it.
• 7:27
  Lady Petra: That isn't what does it, my sensation is all in that base.
• 7:32
  Lady Petra: And it's crazy.
• 7:33
  Lady Petra: Once I got to a higher powered vibrator and got to understanding how to use it on me versus what everyone else said to do, it was like crazy orgasms.
• 7:44
  Lady Petra: And so that's what that was like.
• 7:46
  Lady Petra: I was like, Oh my God, it's happening, you know, and no control over myself.
• 7:52
  SafferMaster: And then of course, just sex with you was astonishing.
• 7:55
  Lady Petra: It was so much fun.
• 7:56
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 7:57
  SafferMaster: And then, um, I flogged you good I fucked you good.
• 8:01
  Lady Petra: Flogged me really good.
• 8:02
  Lady Petra: Yeah.
• 8:03
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 8:03
  SafferMaster: And then, then you rolled over and you took the little ch Bejeweled.
• 8:07
  Lady Petra: thing down.
• 8:08
  SafferMaster: off, and then I ate your.
• 8:10
  SafferMaster: And I, my question is, was your more sensitive?
• 8:14
  Lady Petra: It's crazy.
• 8:15
  Lady Petra: The clip was more sensitive because it had been set apart but itself.
• 8:21
  Lady Petra: And I had pumped it before I put the jewelry on right before you got home too.
• 8:26
  Lady Petra: So I had kind of stimulated it prior.
• 8:30
  Lady Petra: Yeah.
• 8:30
  Lady Petra: I mean, oral is totally different.
• 8:33
  Lady Petra: It's a totally different sensation because you've also got warm, moist touch happening there.
• 8:39
  SafferMaster: I guess my question is though, could that jewelry alter your experience oral?
• 8:45
  Lady Petra: Uh, no, I don't think so.
• 8:48
  Lady Petra: I think it's two separate things.
• 8:50
  SafferMaster: Okay.
• 8:50
  Lady Petra: Yeah.
• 8:51
  SafferMaster: That's good.
• 8:51
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 8:52
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 8:52
  SafferMaster: So you're one, the experiences of the day, that is what this podcast is about.
• 9:01
  SafferMaster: Is this broader question of how do you sexualize a dynamic?
• 9:06
  SafferMaster: And this is an example of how you sexualize a dynamic.
• 9:11
  SafferMaster: What I mean by that is in any relationship, sex can be something that happens between a couple of regularly or intermittently and life gets in the way in the middle.
• 9:24
  SafferMaster: Right.
• 9:24
  SafferMaster: And I can imagine certainly from my own experience, I imagine from other people's experience that oftentimes sex gets put to the side and in a dynamic where there's a power dynamic occurring of any sort or a DS dynamic of any sort.
• 9:41
  SafferMaster: The question is how do you keep the context of the dynamic sexual and you, and I both believe that a healthy sex context, we are in a sex forward kink forward dynamic, that was kind of what we created, but in a healthy sexual dynamic, the context is sexual, not just the sex is sexual.
• 10:09
  Lady Petra: Right, right.
• 10:11
  Lady Petra: Oh, I mean, yes, there are all different things happening in a scene.
• 10:16
  Lady Petra: However, I feel throughout our scene-ing, it's all sexualized.
• 10:23
  Lady Petra: And I mean that because for me, if, if you're flogging me, I'm cumming.
• 10:28
  SafferMaster: Right.
• 10:30
  Lady Petra: And you're usually stroking your cock and things like that.
• 10:33
  Lady Petra: And when I'm caned, I've cum before and then of course you in the way we do that as cane and then you fuck my ass, that ki nd o f t hing.
• 10:45
  Lady Petra: And it brings that context.
• 10:47
  Lady Petra: So we ju st, we stay like really connected to that context all the time
• 10:52
  SafferMaster: In a scene.
• 10:53
  Lady Petra: Yes.
• 10:54
  SafferMaster: I'm arguing that there's a broader context to our dynamic that's sexualized.
• 10:59
  Lady Petra: No.
• 10:59
  Lady Petra: Yeah.
• 11:00
  Lady Petra: I agree.
• 11:00
  Lady Petra: I agree with you.
• 11:01
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 11:01
  SafferMaster: And what I'm arguing is that there's a way to keep the dynamic sexualized so that the sexual scenes aren't really exciting and hot and you don't have to sort of get up for them.
• 11:13
  Lady Petra: Well, I definitely think the way we foreplay.
• 11:17
  SafferMaster: yes, as an example,
• 11:17
  Lady Petra: All day long or two days ahead or whatever.
• 11:21
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 11:22
  Lady Petra: I think that's a perfect example of creating, um, excitement and intensity and a readiness to in your head versus not knowing what's happening next.
• 11:32
  Lady Petra: What there's, this is one thing I noticed just based on the dynamic we've created we're sex forward.
• 11:38
  Lady Petra: So we play all the time.
• 11:41
  SafferMaster: Yes.
• 11:42
  Lady Petra: You know, and, but we also have lives and work and stuff.
• 11:46
  Lady Petra: So we tend to use the early part of our day to wake up and to get going with our days.
• 11:52
  Lady Petra: And there could be sexualization happening there, but that's kind of what's happening.
• 11:57
  Lady Petra: And then we save the latter part mid, mid to latter parts of our day as sceneing.
• 12:04
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 12:04
  Lady Petra: You know, but in that whole day there's sexualization.
• 12:09
  Lady Petra: So if you think about it, you're, you're I get up early before you, cause I need to go to the gym and I need to go do some stuff.
• 12:16
  Lady Petra: And my work hours are a lot earlier than yours.
• 12:19
  Lady Petra: And so I get up and I do normal things, dynamic tasks, things, things that make me responsible for myself wellbeing and for the households wellbeing, what have you.
• 12:29
  Lady Petra: But then I send you a picture of my marks,
• 12:33
  SafferMaster: Right
• 12:34
  Lady Petra: So that's a sex, that's sexualizing, you know, you know what I'm saying?
• 12:38
  Lady Petra: And lately we've added picture of my toes and occasional add a picture of me kind of a fun, sexy type of picture with me right before we've even been face-to-face in the morning.
• 12:52
  SafferMaster: Right.
• 12:52
  Lady Petra: And then, you know, of course we make time to be affectionate when we greet each other in the morning, we don't take that for granted that it just, who, who lobby the bus, you know?
• 13:05
  Lady Petra: So we make sure to do that.
• 13:06
  Lady Petra: And then throughout the day, we're both responsible for greetings and for acknowledgement in an affectionate sexual way with one another,
• 13:16
  SafferMaster: right.
• 13:17
  Lady Petra: You also have given me tasks to do edging tasks or have explained when you go on your walk and I prepare myself what you expect me to do to prepare,
• 13:31
  SafferMaster: right.
• 13:32
  Lady Petra: Uh, that may not be the normal thing we do.
• 13:34
  Lady Petra: It would be additional stuff.
• 13:36
  Lady Petra: Or if you have a specifics on how you present yourself, you also then know there are times when of you're giving me freedom that you don't know what you're going to come home to.
• 13:44
  Lady Petra: You might come home to me appearing any way, any which way, which is an excitement for you.
• 13:51
  SafferMaster: Sure.
• 13:51
  Lady Petra: You know, you going on your walk, knowing I'm getting prepared is sexualizing that time that you're away.
• 17:04
  SafferMaster: It's very difficult to have a walk, try to listen to him.
• 17:09
  SafferMaster: no way you're going to get home to a horny slut, presenting herself to be used.
• 17:15
  Lady Petra: Yeah.
• 17:16
  SafferMaster: And so, you know, I have to process my emotions and control my emotions while I'm out with the dog for, you know, half an hour to an hour.
• 17:26
  SafferMaster: But I also know when I come home, so does the dog, because I tell him he's got to go to his kennel before he comes in the house and he knows he goes right to his cattle.
• 17:36
  SafferMaster: So he doesn't disturb us
• 17:38
  Lady Petra: Well, even, and we're using reminder right now, um, the app.
• 17:41
  Lady Petra: And it's just a way to, for us to keep the context going throughout the day on our dynamic.
• 17:49
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 17:49
  SafferMaster: and actually, Weminder will soon be available for general use, which is exciting,
• 17:54
  Lady Petra: Which is a huge deal.
• 17:55
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 17:55
  SafferMaster: And we've been beta testing it with Mako and it's just been fantastic its a really killer app, it really is.
• 18:01
  SafferMaster: For a couple in a dynamic, it's a killer app.
• 18:04
  Lady Petra: And so one of the things that is on there is I have a behavior where I say I'm prepared for daddy's use.
• 18:11
  SafferMaster: Yes.
• 18:12
  Lady Petra: And basically I can't imagine how great that is when you get that kind of message.
• 18:17
  Lady Petra: And you're like, you know, I'm ready, which is really convenient if you think about it, because if you're going to be a three whole slut, you have to, you know, there's biology, part of getting prepared and some days are faster than others and some aren't and to be able to be able to, to, to message that to your dominant so that you have the right amount of time.
• 18:37
  Lady Petra: And so that when he walks in, he does get the presentation of you being prepared.
• 18:41
  Lady Petra: I think there's only been, um, even before this app, there's only been like one or two.
• 18:46
  Lady Petra: I can count them on one hand number of times in two years where you beat me home before I could get out.
• 18:52
  SafferMaster: Right.
• 18:52
  Lady Petra: But there's nothing wrong either.
• 18:54
  Lady Petra: We don't make anything wrong about it.
• 18:56
  SafferMaster: But that said, I have now, since we've been using weminder yeah.
• 19:00
  SafferMaster: I've waited.
• 19:02
  Lady Petra: Yes.
• 19:02
  Lady Petra: I know.
• 19:02
  SafferMaster: to get the note, the message come in from the park.
• 19:06
  Lady Petra: Right.
• 19:07
  SafferMaster: And you know, it's really exciting.
• 19:09
  SafferMaster: So one of the advantages of weminder is that I know I'm going to get that message.
• 19:15
  SafferMaster: And so it doesn't matter where I walk because I don't have to worry about getting home too early.
• 19:20
  SafferMaster: Cause I know I'm going to get the message, but it also means that I can decide randomly to walk further
• 19:27
  Lady Petra: Or sit on a bench and pass some time and whatever.
• 19:30
  SafferMaster: And you get the experience of meditating in your sexual self-expression yes.
• 19:36
  SafferMaster: For a period of time till I get home.
• 19:38
  Lady Petra: Exactly.
• 19:39
  SafferMaster: And that's a very sexualizing experience too.
• 19:42
  Lady Petra: Well, it totally is.
• 19:43
  Lady Petra: Yeah.
• 19:43
  Lady Petra: I mean, it's, it's so amazing when you're in a dynamic where it's like, you know, hand to glove kind of fit.
• 19:52
  SafferMaster: Yes.
• 19:52
  Lady Petra: And earlier on, I remember I had all these stories and I was worried about all these different things.
• 19:58
  Lady Petra: And I felt I put this all on myself.
• 20:00
  Lady Petra: You never did this to me, but I did this.
• 20:02
  Lady Petra: I was hurried.
• 20:03
  Lady Petra: I had to get this done.
• 20:04
  Lady Petra: I had to do this.
• 20:05
  Lady Petra: I had to be, you know, an all these had toos.
• 20:07
  SafferMaster: Right.
• 20:07
  Lady Petra: Which is crazy.
• 20:09
  Lady Petra: Which really, if I think in hindsight, it took away from me being immediately present.
• 20:17
  Lady Petra: When you arrive.
• 20:18
  Lady Petra: Now I know my procedure.
• 20:21
  Lady Petra: I know how long it takes about.
• 20:24
  SafferMaster: yeah.
• 20:24
  Lady Petra: I know what I'm going to do.
• 20:26
  Lady Petra: I've thought about it beforehand.
• 20:28
  Lady Petra: And that's sexualizing itself.
• 20:30
  Lady Petra: Cause I'm planning and planning for a scene I'm planning for us to play.
• 20:35
  Lady Petra: And so then the whole act of me just getting prepared is hugely sexualizing.
• 20:42
  Lady Petra: Hugely.
• 20:43
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 20:43
  SafferMaster: I think you can extend that further in our dynamic.
• 20:47
  SafferMaster: We take it into the evening.
• 20:50
  Lady Petra: Oh, totally, totally.
• 20:53
  SafferMaster: You know, we experience Our dynamic even while we make dinner.
• 21:00
  Lady Petra: Oh yeah.
• 21:01
  SafferMaster: Even while we eat dinner,
• 21:03
  Lady Petra: It seamless though.
• 21:04
  Lady Petra: A lot of it because early on and you talked about how you wanted things done.
• 21:09
  SafferMaster: Yes.
• 21:09
  Lady Petra: We've adapted and we both evolve in that context.
• 21:13
  Lady Petra: We've now gotten to a point of general comfort, if you will, comfort of the processes.
• 21:20
  SafferMaster: Right.
• 21:21
  Lady Petra: And so it's not like, that's the one thing I really, I really appreciate about your style is I'm not sitting here being told every single damn thing what I need to do.
• 21:31
  Lady Petra: I can remember things.
• 21:32
  Lady Petra: I'm a service hub and there's a human factor to it.
• 21:37
  Lady Petra: Like, you know, occasionally you forget a knife, but you get up and get a knife.
• 21:40
  Lady Petra: I don't make a big deal.
• 21:41
  Lady Petra: There's nothing wrong.
• 21:42
  SafferMaster: Right.
• 21:42
  Lady Petra: And when I was able to do that, I said, I'm still serving.
• 21:45
  Lady Petra: I'm not, he's not saying I have to be perfect.
• 21:48
  SafferMaster: Right.
• 21:50
  Lady Petra: No one is perfect.
• 21:51
  SafferMaster: No.
• 21:51
  Lady Petra: we're human.
• 21:53
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 21:53
  Lady Petra: Idea is he's not mad at me or dissatisfied with me because I omitted something by just sheer forgetting or didn't think of it.
• 22:02
  SafferMaster: Right.
• 22:03
  Lady Petra: Or we'd never run across that scenario before.
• 22:05
  Lady Petra: And I didn't even know to ask you that or whatever, but what we have as an agreement that I trust that you'll tell me if you want something.
• 22:13
  SafferMaster: Exactly.
• 22:13
  Lady Petra: And the whole point is, I want to please you and I want to provide you those things.
• 22:19
  Lady Petra: So just tell me.
• 22:21
  Lady Petra: And it's so great because a lot of relationships and dynamics are innuendo and like these, these huge amounts of tasks, you know, some people are super anal.
• 22:33
  Lady Petra: It's very particular like if you're doing a coffee press, it's gotta be three minutes here and you've got press it here.
• 22:39
  Lady Petra: It's gonna take you a minute and a half to press it all the way down.
• 22:42
  Lady Petra: Don't go any faster.
• 22:43
  SafferMaster: Right.
• 22:43
  Lady Petra: And then you need to pour it and you have to add 1.2, five tablespoons of cream and you have to stir it 30 times.
• 22:50
  Lady Petra: Okay.
• 22:51
  Lady Petra: And I get that maybe, maybe, truly, although I doubt it and someone's going to come back and yell at me at this I'm sure.
• 22:59
  Lady Petra: But I've heard dominant say things like that.
• 23:02
  SafferMaster: Yes.
• 23:03
  Lady Petra: Okay.
• 23:04
  Lady Petra: Let's just say making coffees, it comes to mind.
• 23:07
  Lady Petra: I want to know if the dominant has really followed that exact precise recipe or are they thinking how they could have a good cup of coffee and they're just coming up.
• 23:17
  Lady Petra: I'm not saying it's wrong that they do that.
• 23:20
  Lady Petra: But what I'm saying is long term, you're talking about having someone hopefully around for a long time, right.
• 23:27
  Lady Petra: If they're failing your needs, why wouldn't you want them around, right?
• 23:31
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 23:31
  SafferMaster: No, this was, this was a conversation.
• 23:33
  SafferMaster: That's very interesting to me because we live in a 24, seven dynamic.
• 23:37
  Lady Petra: Right.
• 23:38
  SafferMaster: And there's a lot to learn from how we, how we live together because we have such an extraordinary experience of being together.
• 23:46
  Lady Petra: I think someone who didn't know, and there was no volume, like it was only video and they saw us moving in the house.
• 23:53
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 23:53
  Lady Petra: They wouldn't know.
• 23:56
  Lady Petra: They may know if they saw our scenes.
• 23:58
  Lady Petra: Yes.
• 23:59
  Lady Petra: But if they just saw everyday life, they may not know there's a dynamic going on.
• 24:04
  SafferMaster: Right.
• 24:05
  Lady Petra: But the reality is that, and that doesn't mean you aren't dominant what it is is we have it refined.
• 24:12
  SafferMaster: Right.
• 24:13
  Lady Petra: It's a, we've talked about this before.
• 24:15
  Lady Petra: It's a dance.
• 24:16
  SafferMaster: Yes.
• 24:17
  Lady Petra: We dance in movement through the house in essence.
• 24:21
  SafferMaster: Right.
• 24:21
  Lady Petra: Because we have our roles, if you will.
• 24:26
  SafferMaster: Right.
• 24:26
  Lady Petra: We have our context for how we choose to live.
• 24:30
  Lady Petra: It's been refined.
• 24:32
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 24:32
  SafferMaster: So that speaks to the total power exchange context of our dynamic.
• 24:37
  SafferMaster: I'm interested in the sexualized aspect of dynamics,
• 24:41
  Lady Petra: Well The reason I'm getting to that, the reason I'm putting that in there, just to interrupt you.
• 24:45
  SafferMaster: Yes.
• 24:45
  Lady Petra: Is because as a service sub, that's a turn-on that whole scenario that I just described is a sexualized turn on for a service hub.
• 24:55
  Lady Petra: That's that's the deal,
• 24:58
  SafferMaster: Right!
• 24:59
  Lady Petra: That's what lights my fire.
• 25:01
  SafferMaster: Yes.
• 25:03
  SafferMaster: And then on top of that, we also have the love language that we have, which is physical.
• 25:08
  Lady Petra: Yes.
• 25:09
  SafferMaster: And so for example, you curl up with me on the couch.
• 25:13
  SafferMaster: You cuddle with me in bed,
• 25:15
  Lady Petra: I'll fall sleep on your leg.
• 25:16
  SafferMaster: You do.
• 25:17
  SafferMaster: We have a ritual at night where we get together in bed.
• 25:22
  Lady Petra: And do pillow talk.
• 25:22
  SafferMaster: where you come over and we have pillow talk.
• 25:24
  Lady Petra: Yep.
• 25:25
  SafferMaster: And we'll have a conversation about pillow talk another time, but it's not the pillow talk I'm interested in at the moment.
• 25:30
  SafferMaster: It's the physical aspect of how we relate to each other that keeps us in a sexualized context.
• 25:37
  Lady Petra: Well, yeah.
• 25:38
  Lady Petra: I, I curl up with you.
• 25:40
  Lady Petra: I mean, we have this ritual and it's, I always giggle to myself, but it's such a ritual.
• 25:46
  Lady Petra: It's so wonderful.
• 25:48
  Lady Petra: You always say I'm excited to come to bed.
• 25:50
  SafferMaster: Yes.
• 25:51
  Lady Petra: And then you say, why am I excited to cut to bed?
• 25:55
  Lady Petra: And then I go through the little laundry list of why you're excited.
• 25:58
  Lady Petra: Of course we have soft sheets and you have a three-hole in your bed, a collared slut.
• 26:04
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 26:05
  Lady Petra: And you know, if I've just been marked, a marked slut or what have you, you, I've kind of just put in what I put in and then you get in and get settled.
• 26:13
  Lady Petra: And we kind of just experience the wonderfulness because we're really present about where we are in every moment and the presence of just being in the most luxurious bed like this, feeling that, so there's a pause while you experienced that.
• 26:30
  Lady Petra: Cause I usually beat you to bed and I've already experienced that.
• 26:33
  Lady Petra: And then it's not a, it's not a perfect scenario is what's usually said,
• 26:38
  SafferMaster: it's almost perfect.
• 26:39
  Lady Petra: It's almost perfect, but it's not perfect because I'm not near you.
• 26:42
  Lady Petra: So then I come up against you.
• 26:44
  Lady Petra: We, we spoon to the side of you and then I cup your balls and your cock.
• 26:50
  SafferMaster: yeah.
• 26:50
  Lady Petra: And then we talk right.
• 26:52
  Lady Petra: Sometimes for five or six minutes, sometimes for 20 minutes to a half an hour.
• 26:57
  Lady Petra: Sometimes it, it, well, a lot of times it leads to some arousal on both of our parts.
• 27:03
  SafferMaster: Right.
• 27:04
  Lady Petra: And then sometimes that's pushed forward into something like a blow job or fingering or those kinds of things.
• 27:12
  Lady Petra: And sometimes it isn't sometimes it's like, no we're going or kind of like almost aroused and then edging to the point we're going to go to sleep.
• 27:19
  Lady Petra: And then, you know, we, we talk and I love the idea of, I guess if you will, it fondling you and just without actually looking at you, like you would do in a blow job, i t more just without eyes feeling and discovering you and your Manliness.
• 27:40
  SafferMaster: Right.
• 27:41
  Lady Petra: You know,
• 27:42
  SafferMaster: It's very arousing and it's, it's very, my love language is physical.
• 27:46
  SafferMaster: So I'm excited about that experience.
• 27:48
  Lady Petra: Oh yea,
• 27:49
  SafferMaster: It keeps out context, very sexual.
• 27:52
  SafferMaster: And then when, when it's time to go to sleep, you rollover.
• 27:56
  SafferMaster: Yep.
• 27:56
  SafferMaster: I slip my hard cock between your legs.
• 27:58
  Lady Petra: Yes.
• 27:59
  Lady Petra: up my ass, so they know What's happening.
• 28:02
  Lady Petra: Yeah.
• 28:03
  SafferMaster: And then, and then I reach over and I grab a hold of your right breast.
• 28:06
  SafferMaster: Cause you have on your left side.
• 28:08
  Lady Petra: Yeah.
• 28:08
  SafferMaster: And that's how we fall asleep.
• 28:10
  Lady Petra: And you know, we've been doing that for a long time.
• 28:13
  SafferMaster: Right.
• 28:14
  Lady Petra: And, and what I've noticed is because we're both, we recognize we're both going through our own transitions in this dynamic and we're both evolving.
• 28:24
  Lady Petra: And I think when we both got to a point where, especially for me, because you were there a little before me, but when I got to the point where I recognize that of my view, that I could be loved, like really loved.
• 28:39
  Lady Petra: And then I could choose to accept that didn't recognize I wasn't accepting that that is a new action.
• 28:45
  Lady Petra: And therefore it created new things.
• 28:46
  Lady Petra: Right.
• 28:47
  Lady Petra: And so you evolve to, and then at that point, like we started sleeping more soundly.
• 28:55
  Lady Petra: Like it was dramatic, embraced lots longer cuddled.
• 28:59
  Lady Petra: Now you have to understand I'm a thermogenic slut.
• 29:02
  Lady Petra: So the idea is he often cuddles with me and then pretty soon he's almost 5,000 degrees.
• 29:08
  SafferMaster: She does get hot.
• 29:08
  Lady Petra: Yeah.
• 29:09
  Lady Petra: And then, uh, he's, he'll be covered up with, with the comforter and all the sheets over his head completely covered.
• 29:17
  Lady Petra: And I will be like barely a sheet on me with the air conditioner going, and this is winter and I'm feeling just completely fine.
• 29:26
  Lady Petra: And so, and I've always been that way that hasn't changed it, but it's great in winter, not as great in summer, but great in winter.
• 29:33
  Lady Petra: So we're heading into winter now.
• 29:35
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 29:35
  SafferMaster: So I think the point is that if we think about what we just talked about, we have a waking hour experience,
• 29:43
  Lady Petra: Right.
• 29:44
  Lady Petra: Of, sexualizing, our dynamic ongoingly.
• 29:48
  Lady Petra: And it's an experience.
• 29:50
  Lady Petra: It's an experience that enhances our relationship and you get a big bump because we committed to having a sex forward kink forward dynamic in the first place.
• 30:02
  Lady Petra: Right.
• 30:03
  SafferMaster: But the context, the context of our dynamic is sexualized.
• 30:09
  SafferMaster: And so this is what I would encourage people to consider and think about is that you can sexualize your dynamic ongoingly with little things.
• 30:19
  SafferMaster: You know, it's just little things that might be a message, or it might be a piece of jewelry.
• 30:23
  Lady Petra: And when we do dessert, the enticement, uh, well, regular food for that matter.
• 30:28
  Lady Petra: But dessert, I'm thinking you love the little way for cookies and you love Kit-Kats.
• 30:33
  Lady Petra: And so it's one of those niceties, those things that constantly keeps the dynamic fresh is like surprise you.
• 30:42
  Lady Petra: I here's a bowl of ice cream with your favorite things.
• 30:44
  Lady Petra: And.
• 30:44
  SafferMaster: yes, exactly.
• 30:45
  Lady Petra: And where the sexualization comes is like, when you enjoy something that, that level yeah.
• 30:51
  Lady Petra: That's a new know your partner thought of you and did that for you.
• 30:56
  Lady Petra: Not just like, it was a task, but like this is a thoughtfulness.
• 30:59
  Lady Petra: Consideration correct.
• 31:00
  Lady Petra: Yeah.
• 31:01
  Lady Petra: That's sexualize it.
• 31:02
  Lady Petra: I mean, maybe I'm weird, but I am a demisexual.
• 31:05
  Lady Petra: So the reality is that sexualized and I see all kinds of things that are sexualized for me that don't require me touching my genitals or anything.
• 31:13
  SafferMaster: Right.
• 31:13
  Lady Petra: But the reality is the passionate you're going to go on your walk a we passionately kiss.
• 31:20
  SafferMaster: Yes.
• 31:20
  Lady Petra: I mean, it's hot.
• 31:22
  Lady Petra: That gets me in a.
• 31:23
  Lady Petra: Twitter.
• 31:24
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 31:24
  SafferMaster: Me too.
• 31:25
  Lady Petra: Yeah.
• 31:25
  Lady Petra: And we're responsible for constantly keeping it hot.
• 31:31
  Lady Petra: Yeah.
• 31:31
  Lady Petra: I mean, we don't have to worry about what anyone else thinks is hot.
• 31:34
  Lady Petra: They've got their own hot, we found our hot, you can see over and over again, the responsibility we take for, you know, not taking for granted.
• 31:45
  SafferMaster: Well I can tell you.
• 31:45
  Lady Petra: at the time you have with the other person.
• 31:47
  Lady Petra: Y eah.
• 31:47
  SafferMaster: I can tell you that the sexual encounter we had today, right.
• 31:52
  SafferMaster: It topped everything we've ever done, like everything.
• 31:56
  Speaker 4: So hot.
• 31:57
  Speaker 4: I mean, it was yelling at you to come in my, my with you.
• 32:01
  SafferMaster: It was off the charts.
• 32:02
  SafferMaster: Right.
• 32:03
  Lady Petra: But it's, but it's primal it's.
• 32:04
  SafferMaster: And like I said to you afterwards, you know, it's too bad.
• 32:07
  SafferMaster: We haven't had that kind of hot sex since the last time we had hot sex, which was like yesterday kind of thing.
• 32:11
  Lady Petra: Right.
• 32:12
  Lady Petra: And see that's the point, the point is that I see you and you see me and we live inside of a context that we've created called sex forward, kink forward TPE 24 seven.
• 32:28
  Lady Petra: That's what it is.
• 32:29
  Lady Petra: And we've taken responsibility to keep that context alive because it's the context.
• 32:37
  Lady Petra: I like to believe that context is everything.
• 32:39
  Lady Petra: right.
• 32:41
  SafferMaster: That it's not just that we have hot sex.
• 32:44
  SafferMaster: We have hot sex inside of a context where hot sex is what's expected.
• 32:48
  SafferMaster: And we create that.
• 32:49
  Lady Petra: Well it's yeah.
• 32:50
  Lady Petra: It's what, it's what is expected and desired.
• 32:53
  Lady Petra: We're both in on that.
• 32:54
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 32:55
  Lady Petra: And that's changes everything when you're both in and the key is responsibility.
• 33:02
  Lady Petra: You take responsibility because I'm not at all ignoring, like we said earlier.
• 33:06
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 33:07
  Lady Petra: Life gets in the way.
• 33:08
  Lady Petra: Some people in dynamics are married.
• 33:11
  Lady Petra: Some are not some that are married, have children.
• 33:14
  Lady Petra: Some do not.
• 33:16
  SafferMaster: Right.
• 33:16
  Lady Petra: Whether they're inner dynamic and married or not married, some do not some do.
• 33:21
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 33:22
  Lady Petra: There's also jobs and all these things.
• 33:24
  SafferMaster: Right.
• 33:24
  Lady Petra: Let's just say there's a lot of shit
• 33:26
  SafferMaster: Lots of distractions.
• 33:26
  Lady Petra: And then, you know, life shit.
• 33:29
  Lady Petra: Okay.
• 33:31
  Lady Petra: We all have it.
• 33:32
  Lady Petra: That's for sure.
• 33:33
  Lady Petra: We have different kinds, but we all have it.
• 33:35
  SafferMaster: Yes.
• 33:35
  Lady Petra: The idea that responsibility for me is when you speak to me, I need to stop what I'm doing to pay attention.
• 33:44
  Lady Petra: Right.
• 33:45
  Lady Petra: So you have my full attention.
• 33:47
  Lady Petra: That's responsible.
• 33:49
  Lady Petra: Not yeah yeah Yeah.
• 33:50
  Lady Petra: W hile I still do other.
• 33:52
  Lady Petra: Right.
• 33:53
  SafferMaster: There's actually, I want to just say something about that.
• 33:55
  SafferMaster: There's a book that you can read the research and called'Thinking Fast and Slow', and it's proven beyond any shadow of a doubt that you could actually only do one thing at a time.
• 34:08
  Lady Petra: Right?
• 34:08
  Lady Petra: Oh, I agree.
• 34:10
  Lady Petra: But even if you talk about inner dynamic in a relationship to not put the PR, if you, if you think about all these famous sages over time that have talked about life, they're in the end of their life, they talk about what's most important in life.
• 34:26
  SafferMaster: Right.
• 34:27
  Lady Petra: And they talk about, don't worry about so many things, let things kind of go with the flow.
• 34:32
  Lady Petra: That's one of the main o utages.
• 34:35
  Lady Petra: And the other thing is the most important thing in life is relationship that not all the things and where you've been and how you collect and whatever.
• 34:43
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 34:43
  SafferMaster: yeah
• 34:45
  Lady Petra: It's the relationships, how you leave people, how you work with people.
• 34:50
  Lady Petra: And that's where I'm really connected based on, you know, all the stuff we've gone through with our divorces and growing children and all these things that cause chaos I'm left with, I probably wasn't responsible.
• 35:08
  Lady Petra: Well I'm no, it wasn't with my ex.
• 35:10
  Lady Petra: Now neither here nor there.
• 35:13
  Lady Petra: I shouldn't have married him.
• 35:14
  Lady Petra: But the idea is I wasn't responsible for that.
• 35:16
  Lady Petra: Right.
• 35:16
  Lady Petra: I just kind of went so many years now.
• 35:19
  Lady Petra: I have lots of reasons and excuses and all these reasons why I stayed and whatever.
• 35:24
  Lady Petra: And everybody has those.
• 35:25
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 35:26
  Lady Petra: But I made a point now where I'm outside of that now, and I'm on the other side and I get to choose how I want to create my life now,
• 35:37
  SafferMaster: right.
• 35:37
  Lady Petra: With integrity, with authenticity.
• 35:41
  Lady Petra: And I choose now to be for my relationships and dynamics in the sense of being present we're sex forward.
• 35:53
  Lady Petra: That means we're probably gonna have sex every day, if not more than once a day.
• 35:56
  Lady Petra: Right.
• 35:58
  Lady Petra: And it's not like a chore to have sex, to have a chore.
• 36:01
  Lady Petra: It's not a chore.
• 36:02
  Lady Petra: But what I'm saying is in that I still have life happening to me.
• 36:06
  SafferMaster: Yes
• 36:06
  Lady Petra: And the idea is I need to be responsible and find myself no matter, let's say I'm paying bills, I'm getting frustrated paying bills.
• 36:14
  Lady Petra: And you come over to me and say, I want you to bend over the couch and use you.
• 36:17
  Lady Petra: I need to be able to be responsible and flip it so that I'm ready because that's what I'm, because what it comes down to, I'm committed to that.
• 36:27
  Lady Petra: I'm committed to the health and the success of our dynamic because I so value it.
• 36:34
  SafferMaster: Right.
• 36:34
  Lady Petra: Well, if I value it that much, it's gotta be more than lip service.
• 36:37
  Lady Petra: It has to be action.
• 36:38
  SafferMaster: Right.
• 36:39
  SafferMaster: And I'm exactly in the same space.
• 36:41
  Lady Petra: right.
• 36:41
  Lady Petra: now.
• 36:41
  Lady Petra: I feel that way too
• 36:42
  SafferMaster: Yeah.
• 36:43
  SafferMaster: And therefore, what we have are like you said two people who are all in.
• 36:49
  SafferMaster: Yep.
• 36:49
  SafferMaster: And what we're all in on is keeping our dynamic extremely alive.
• 36:55
  SafferMaster: Like it's a new dynamic every day.
• 36:58
  Lady Petra: And, and that is, I think we've said it before.
• 37:02
  Lady Petra: And we talk about this ongoingly.
• 37:04
  Lady Petra: Yeah.
• 37:05
  Lady Petra: But I really can't express that enough to people that we, if you think of it, similar to marriage, we're not recommitting our vows every day.
• 37:12
  SafferMaster: No,
• 37:12
  Lady Petra: but what it is is I get up and wander to the bathroom at five in the morning to get ready, to go work out in.
• 37:20
  Lady Petra: The first thing I do is I there's a mirror in the bathroom and I look up and I see I'm collared.
• 37:25
  SafferMaster: Right.
• 37:27
  Lady Petra: And I get to have that aha moment.
• 37:29
  Lady Petra: Like, this is real.
• 37:30
  Lady Petra: This is where I'm at.
• 37:32
  Lady Petra: And this is exciting.
• 37:34
  Lady Petra: And my day begins, even if you're asleep to begin, as I complete things to inform my dominant what I'm up to.
• 37:43
  SafferMaster: Right.
• 37:44
  Lady Petra: Because that fulfills me and it fulfills you too.
• 37:48
  Lady Petra: And those are our agreements and, and that is responsibility.
• 37:54
  Lady Petra: And that keeps it hot.
• 37:57
  SafferMaster: Totally, Yeah.
• 37:57
  SafferMaster: It's hot.
• 37:58
  Lady Petra: Yeah.
• 37:59
  Lady Petra: It keeps it hot.
• 38:02
  Lady Petra: That's it for today.
• 38:04
  Lady Petra: If you're interested in relationship, coaching, online domination, or if you'd like to sponsor the pod to keep it going, please visit our Patrion website at lady Petra playground.
• 38:15
  Lady Petra: You can reach me via email@ladypetraplaygroundatgmail.com.
• 38:20
  Lady Petra: Our music is composed and performed by Roger Ferguson can be found@rogerfergusonmusic.com till next time.
• 38:28
  Lady Petra: Cheers.