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What is your relationship status?? Husband/Wife/Boyfriend/Girlfriend · Black Girl Interrupted Podcast

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Hey, thank you for tuning into another episode our Black Girl interrupted. You
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know, Ashley Tonight, Tonight we're talking about relationships. We're talking about husband,
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wife, warfriend, girlfriend relationships because you know what, huh, we
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go through interruptions daily joining me tonight, I got my sister Keish. Hey,
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mo, Hi, that's the she e all of colors Hash and Keisha's
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corner. Don't forget to tune in and see us every Friday night at eight
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thirty Eastern time, seven thirty Central Time for a little Girl, So Hi
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and one Bring your Own Bottom by Obe Hill by obe As, Y'allcucy.
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I had to let my head down for this one a nightly because you these
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relationships. Got my car and I'm ready because tonight it's about healing. It's
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about letting go and move it on. So how you doing the nicest?
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I'm good, I'm good. I'm ready to talk about these chapters. We're
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getting ready to close. Oh long, baby, when I tell you I'm
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ready to let go, but I'm not ready to let go. But I
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know I have to let go. You understand what I'm saying. So it's
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all the point of healing. I know it. I know it. But
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like I say, we're talking about relationships tonight, boyfriend, grandfriend, husband,
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wife tonight. So what I'm further I do. I'm ready to job
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right on it and get to my first question. So sick, I need
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to know what's your definition of a healthy husband, wife, boyfriend girlfriend relationship?
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Like, what's your definition? You know what I'm saying, Like,
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tell me what do you think makes a healthy husband, wife, boyfriend girlfriend
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relationship? And explain the difference between being a husband and a wife and a
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boyfriend and a girlfriend. Well, my definition of a healthy relationship is just
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being opening, having their communication amongst each other, and most importantly not going
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to sleep. Man. And you know, I'm married now to my loving
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husband. We've been married for like a year some change, and it's definitely
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a difference because I know, right, with a husband, I think it
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brings more. You have to bring more to the table, which is no
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problem because that's your husband. It beats just like you know, let's let's
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say this, how they used to say it's something you do for your husband
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that you don't do for your boy friend. But at the same time,
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like, how would you know right? You're right? You would know if
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you by doing these things if you would want you as a wife. But
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you just have to be careful who you get those wifely duties. He who
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you're doing full or them husband duties. My definition of a healthy husband,
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wife, boyfriend girlfriend relationship just to really kind of pigging back off of what
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you just said, you know, don't commit to somebody that's not ready,
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if they're not missing it ready, if they're not emotionally ready. Have options,
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you know what I'm saying, And I'm not saying be a polygamist and
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all that other crazy stuff, but have options until you'll find the one that's
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ready to be the husband or ready to be the wife. Communication is definitely
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key, and you know, having a healthy relationship, you know, and
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again, like you're saying, not going to bed mad. Another thing,
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How I define your I guess your twin flame. I've heard things. You
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know, find someone that you're equally yoke with. You know, that's a
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healthy relationship. You know, you do things together where you also continue to
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have a life outside of your husband or your girlfriend. You know, you
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know, husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, still hang out with your
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home girls from time to time. Fellas still gonna hang out with the fellas
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you know, just don't cut everybody else because you're in a relationship or you're
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in a marriage, because what you don't want to do is you don't want
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to lose yourself in this relationship or lose yourself in this man in the balloon.
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It's all about beams. That's it. You know. Respect definitely gives
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you a healthy relationship. Respect, love, all of that gives you a
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healthy relationship. I mean I could use like, my past relationships haven't been
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healthy for me. I think I've only had maybe in the forty plus years
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I've been on this earth, I think I've only had one healthy relationship one
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in forty plus years. I've been honest, I've only had one healthy relationship
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and I missed that up. Yea. But as we go on into our
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episodes, Girl, we're gonna talk about that. We had a good man
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like he was so good to me. I mean he was, he was
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wonderful to me. He was husband material. Like as I said, as
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we get into the stories, women beselp too. Now, So it ain't
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just women who you know to be like mess up a good thing. We
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do so phyllis we don't put on a blame on you because I end into
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I brought a lot of baggage into that relationship, you know what I'm saying.
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It was like, like I said, as we go on and we
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talk about relationships, I brought a lot of baggage in today. I was
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just coming out of an abusive relationship, and so it was like I was
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really kind of looking for that safe place in regards of, oh my god,
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he's a good man. But he really truly was a good man despite
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everything that I did. But despite all the craziness, he was still there
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for me, you know what I'm saying, Like he still tried to make
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it work. So finally he was just like you know what, asking I
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can't do this with you normal? Like you got a serious friend? Look
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right, so says what do you see like as a healthy relationship? Like
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you've given your definition what let me and shit is not to get too personal
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and you don't have to share if you don't want to. Do you feel
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like you and your husband have have or have no let me change that.
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Have a healthy relationship to be honest, you know, not gloting on it.
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I think we do only because when something is wrong. We kid expressed
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that to each other to each other, and we have the opportunity to be
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like, okay, well this and that, or I'm sorry for making you
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feel this way or vice version. So I can say we do have that
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open communication. And I know a lot of people, you know, when
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we're getting married, Oh you're so young to be married. But you know
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what, you take that and you learn from other marriages to always have that
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open line of communication. Never go to bad man, even though sometimes we
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do. But at the end of the day, I wake up, I
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still love my husband. Nothing, nothing is not gonna change, you know.
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I'd rather just talk about it eventually. But one thing we do know
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we're addressing. But I say, yes, we had that open line of
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communication, and its just oh so okay. So I see somebody commentate he
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said he went through that with us, all homie. He showed his true
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colors once they got a girlfriend and needs switched up. And that's FIP and
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you know what, and that's and just like we saying that's what we do.
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We tend to when we get in a relationship or we get married.
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It's almost like, okay, you know, you're cut out the ones that
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I've been there, you know, And again you don't consume yourself so much
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in your marriage or in your relationship. Can't you forget the people that were
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there for you when you were alone? Right? It den you alone because
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you don't have your homeboy or your home girl to talk to. You know,
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we see need somebody an event too. So yeah, so let me
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ask you this is because you're married. I've been engaged twice. I've been
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in long term relationship. So let me ask you this. Do you see
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a difference in being a boy a girlfriend versus being a wife. Do you
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see a difference in my cour speaking for myself in my current relationship. No,
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because we've been together for a couple of years before we actually got married,
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so we got in to know each other. We've gotten to do this,
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so you know, I just we just got married. You know.
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My last name just changed from Males to Smith. So other than that,
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I don't see it different because we start dating, we got to know each
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other. But I don't understand how some people say after you get married changes.
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I can honestly say my first year of marriage was just the same as
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when we were dating. Is it my last name just changed? Okay?
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So I mean, you know and speaking from me being engaged. I've been
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engaged twice, and it really truly is a big difference, you know,
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between being uh even just a fiance, you know, a fiance, a
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wife or girlfriend, boyfriend, husband. I can really truly say that when
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I was engaged to the last guy that I was dating, it was real
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difficult, you know what I'm saying, because it was almost like, Okay,
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we got this wedding date set, We're trying to get everything playing.
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But then it's like I had people in my ear. They were saying,
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you're sure you want to marry him? We so you don't want to marry
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her. So I it did change for me, and I'm not gonna lie.
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I was very honest when I I'm gonna be very honest when I say
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I did really kind of shy away from my friends because I was really trying
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to focus on my fiance, even though I shouldn't have done that. But
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it was like, you know, and I know it doesn't come with a
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man, you know, how to be a fiance or how to be a
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wife for a husband, girlfriend, boyfriend. You know, I know it
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doesn't come with that, But I was really trying to focus and make things
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work, you know, get things together with me and him, because it
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was like I'm planning, you know, we got a whole wedding, the
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plane, we got a whole year to get this together. We are just
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us moving to ourn, you know, our apart everything. So it was
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just it was really kind of all over the place, right. I think
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the next relationship I get into, I'm gonna do. I'm gonna weigh my
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options. I'm gonna date. I'm not just gonna find one guy and be
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like, oh, yes, this is gonna be my husband, you know.
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So I'm I'm gonna really get out there and see what's up. Not
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right now though, because take it, I know it. Because ever,
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come on, I'm speaking to existence number forty one for the new orle I
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say, I just had to throw it at it. Wait wait, well
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somewhere right here this yeah, right there, there you go and let him.
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I would have exactly, I don't have the way really truly did so.
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All right, Sis, So I got another question for you and for
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the viewers. I really want to know what are the struggles to maintained in
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a healthy relationship? You know what they say that a lot of thanks in
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relationship then The first one is communication saying it's financiers. So just having that
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open line of you know what's going on. You have to actually you have
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to be strong when it comes to stuff like that, like you have to
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be willing to stand through the storm. People not as strong to be like,
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you know what, I can't do this, and then you're you're leaving
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because you're overwhelmed. That's not fair for the other person. If you're gonna
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do this together, you have to do it together. So one thing before
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me and my husband got married, we actually sit there and talk like you
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sure, it's just something that you want to do. We had that conversation
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communication where you're headed with this, well my head is here, well your
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hearted my hardest head. I love you, you love me, you know,
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just communication and finances. So so just to kind of pick it back
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off of what you said, it said and to elaborate a little more.
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One of the biggest struggles that I had in my last relationship was distance.
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It was hard to try to maintain a healthy relationship because I lived in one
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state, he lived in another. And don't get it wrong, I'm not
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saying that that you know, long distance relationships can't work. But it was
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a struggle to maintain that healthy relationship simply because insecurity came into play. We
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didn't know how to communicate. It was we argue instead of discussing what we
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had going on. It was like with me that I'm very guilty this because
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I'm gonna aggress that person. I'm a Sangittarius, so we're aggressive. And
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it was like, no, I don't want to hear what you got to
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You got to listen to me, Like what I say is what goes.
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So I was always over talking to him. I was really the dismissive of
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what he had to say. He was dismissive of what I had to say.
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Another struggle that we had trying to maintain our healthy relationship. Family got
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in a way, you know. It was like you're running down and you're
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telling your family everything that goes that's going on in our relationship. I'm running
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I'm telling my mamma what's going on in our relationship. I'm telling my friends
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what's going on in the relationship instead of talking to you. So that was
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a struggle for both of us, not just you know, it's because we
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feel like family knows what they're talking about you know, older, so they
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know they've been in these relationships, so it's like you listen to them.
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You know, that was, you know struggle. Another thing that struggle was
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finances. You know, it became he had a traumatic event happened in his
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life, so it's like he did a complete three sixty. So then it
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became I'm carrying the weight not just for me, but for you, and
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that was unfair to me. So that led to more arguments, that led
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to just an abundance of things. You know, Oh, let me ask
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shit, is when you and your husband first got together, when y'all were
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just boyfriend and girlfriend, what struggles did you encounter trying to maintain a healthy
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relationship. Distance was actually one of them because before I got a chance to
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see my husband, we were together away from each other three years. We
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started dating August twenty eleven. I didn't see my husband till August twenty fourteen.
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And that's a Saint Felcus game. So yeah, that was hard.
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So it was before you not to interrupt you, but before you go forward,
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why so long if you don't want it. We're young, So it
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was financial finances. I would have to catch flights because I really didn't.
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I wanted to experience something different, so I would actually go to Atlanta because
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I mean, I've been in New Orleans my whole life, so I wanna
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I want to go to Atlanta. I want to see I want to see
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something different. And that actually pay a big part in me moving here,
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because again I wanted to see something different. So after that first visit,
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I kind of took multiple trips there the meanwhile I'm coming there. I'm like,
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okay, I want to live here. So it took the last trip
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for us to actually cry because we really didn't want to leave each other,
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for me to be like, you know what, I'm coming back August twenty
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fifteen. I'm gonna say I go twenty fifteen. I ended up moving to
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Atlanta, Okay, not too long after, you know, we welcome.
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I remember that. I remember I remember when you and Tonio first got together,
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because like he's been my little brother for a long time, like when
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I say, even eating my baby, not in that sense, but like
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you know, he's literally been my lebron, and so I remember conversations with
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him, you know, in regards to when I when we go back,
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and like I said, when we talk about now, we're talking about the
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struggles. Family was one of the struggles in y'all's relationship in the beginning,
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you know, and sometimes family maybe right, but sometimes family not always right.
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You know, if you go back and not again because I want you
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to continue your story, going to watch the movie ad for a movie,
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you know what I'm saying. Yeah, example, struggles are maintaing healthy relationship.
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She didn't believe in him, you know what I'm saying. It was
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almost like she made him feel less of a man because you know it,
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all of this, but in the end, you allow somebody else to reap
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the benefits because you listen to your family. Yep. So family is definitely
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a big struggle in trying to maintain a healthy relationship. I say this,
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mean family out of your relationships. I'm gonna say that again and again and
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again and again and again, mean family, because family don't know what goes
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on inside of relationships. Yeah, you know, we were all gift him
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where we go and we talk to family and oh yeah, you know,
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girl, he just set it up. And once you put that bad taste
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in somebody's mouth, that person never tastes the same again. It don't matter.
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If y'all get back together, it don't matter. It don't matter,
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right, you know. So once you put that bad taste in somebody mouth,
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you can't convince mother wise. So I say, your family and friends
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out your relationship. Only you and your husband, or you and your boyfriend
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or girlfriend wife. Yeance say with it only y'all fixing. Okay, So
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enough of me, rad, come on with the rest. Come on,
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finish girl, Come on. It was actually another thing. It was the
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in securities. It was to the point where I almost really didn't trust him.
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If we were gonna make this work long distance, I had to be
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able to It's like we would talk on the phone for so long and you
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know, yeah he had female friends, but it was you know, female
19:41
friends. But you know it's I sometimes I couldn't just get wet, you
19:48
know, just went the sitting right with my spirit? So did was it
19:53
something they did that too? It was something they did. It was something
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they did that made them feel as if there were comfortable enough to do that.
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But you know, and that was addressed, and I honestly, I
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honestly could say after that, we never had another issue. Never. It
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was me and nobody else outside of you know, for every no other females.
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It was me and nobody else, and say it with him. I
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knew I had a boyfriend. No he's not here, but I treated as
20:30
if he was. I respected my relationship if we were staying together like we
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are now. So that was that was kind of like the two challenges that
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faced without, you know, just being distant. Besides the long distance,
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it was definitely insecurities. Okay, well, I mean, you know,
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I would definitely listening again my struggle and and I'm and I'm gonna speak on
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my last relationship, the relationship I just got out of the struggles we had
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insecurities. It was female send him in messages, all he's doing this,
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all he's doing that. So it was like and then I had his stamilyn
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saying, oh yeah, he messed with this girl he met. So it
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was like I didn't know what to believe because I was living in at Lama
21:26
and he was in that, you know. So that was a struggle for
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me. And then it got to the point where female started send him in
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messages. But it's like you want to believe him because you know this is
21:42
big. You know, all these girls just hate. So again, that
21:48
was definitely a struggle, you know, the distance, the insecurities, you
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know, although he made me feel secure because I started traveling back and forth
21:57
to see him before I actually moved to where he was. Oh, so
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it was like I would see him and he was like, Babe, you
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know, it's only you. I don't want nobody else. So I was
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like, okay. Then we started. It was like, once we got
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closer to the time for me to move to where he was, the communication
22:15
got a whole hell of a lot better. I'm not gonna got better because
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it was like he was like, you know, bab, I love you,
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and I would tell him you gotta trust me, like I only won't
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you. So so the lines of communication got much better better as it got
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closer for me to move to be with him, you know what I'm saying.
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So it was almost like, okay, what's the word, Like I'm
22:44
getting ready to be with my beard every day, Like I don't have the
22:47
word it was like, but it was it was it was me moving to
22:55
where he was. I didn't want to move. I really wanted him to
22:57
come work to Atlanta, but unfortunately his job was where he lives, so
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you know, it was like, it's not like he worked for a company
23:06
that he could transfer to. So it was like, you know what,
23:08
I got laid off in Atlanta. Let me just come where you are,
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you know what I'm saying, And then I can feel from there. Another
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struggle that we encounter sex, the sex like I mean, you know,
23:26
I'm not gonna like to you in the beginning, the sex wasn't all that
23:30
good. It was not. It was not, and I had to show
23:36
you. And the reason I said it wasn't good is because all these problems.
23:42
So I think sex is also a struggle of maintaining a healthy relationship because
23:47
you gotta had some facs baby, like you got the because if you know
23:52
somebody else there and I'm just it is just as important as everything else too.
24:00
Absolutely. So it was like when we first slept together, it was
24:06
just kind of I guess maybe because the first time I wouldn't really say I
24:10
was not. I don't know he was drunk the first time, you know,
24:15
because no, I just say that because I came down for his birthday.
24:19
That was the first time that we saw each other that, you know,
24:23
and so we went out for his birthday, like he was turned and
24:30
I was like, you know, hey, this is your birthday, because
24:33
like we were friends and the good thing about it we were friends before we
24:36
even got into a relationship. Like he had been trying to pursue me for
24:38
like over a year and I was like, boy, he was like,
24:41
I'm gonna seeing you some money for your kids. Okay, well the money,
24:48
he was like, you know, boy whatever. Anyway, So how
24:52
we ended up linking up was he he called me on Facebook Messenger and I'm
25:00
on the couch girl, I got my bonnet on. Girl, I'm looking
25:03
boo boo crazy and I can laugh because it's a hilarious now. And so
25:10
he was like, oh no, I didn't mean the call. Yea.
25:11
I was like, let me call you back, girl, like I had
25:14
to get presidentable, like oh so anyway, so from that day we started
25:19
like we started communicating and he was like, when you're gonna come down here
25:23
and see me? And I remember the same Falcons game I had went love.
25:30
That was the day that now I'm out time. That was December twenty
25:38
fifteen. Look, that's a year after me and my husband. It didn't
25:42
hold. That hits the thing I don't wanted to buck you it goes down
25:47
in the Facebook then zoning, because that's how I'm met not okay, Like
25:52
he like he would like my pictures. He would call me be like you're
25:56
so beautiful, blah bl blah. I was like, boy, whatever,
25:59
you know, I never really looked at this page. We had been friends
26:02
on Facebook, I know, for live over a year, so I finally
26:04
want to look at this page. I was like, Okay, he kinda
26:07
cute heat dog. Hein't okay, So anyhow, so we really started talking.
26:15
So to say, we put the Saints and the Falcons played Matt why
26:18
throw a pick and baby, that's what won the game for us. I
26:23
had gone live baby because we had talked. I was late getting down to
26:27
the state because we was on the phone and Dip a Poe to like four
26:30
day and I'm all the girl just talking. So finally he was like,
26:34
you know when you're gonna come see me? And he was like, you
26:37
know, my birthday coming up. I said, come down there for your
26:38
birthday. He was like, oh, no, you ain't coming, You
26:40
ain't coming. Book the hotel room came down there, so and I could
26:45
laugh about this now because it's so hilarious. So I get I get to
26:49
where he lives and I'm calling him. I'm like, Okay, where are
26:53
you at? Where you at? He was like, oh, I'm here,
26:56
I'm here. And I go where he told me he was, and
27:00
Nigro, why are you at? So he was like, no, I'm
27:02
only in my home, wouse, blah blah blah. So I go over
27:04
there, girl. He come out in the middle of the street. Girl,
27:07
I'm about to run him over with the car. And that was his
27:12
birthday weekend, so we hung out, you know, so you know he
27:15
got turned girl. He was drunk. I was like, but what really
27:19
threw me out? Because he because I'm not a club person, so you
27:22
know, I like to dress up. I put on heels like I was
27:26
cute. Girl. I felt so over dressed at the club he took me
27:29
to. I was like, he was like, oh, you're the bullshit
27:32
huh. I was like, I missed a memo. I was like,
27:37
I could have kept on what I had on when I came down, hat
27:40
on jeans, tenner shoes. I could have got that. Yeah, that
27:42
wasn't that was holding the wom girl. So the fall was so like that
27:49
weekend when I came down, I met his family. I was like,
27:55
but we are not even so at that point, like I was like so
27:59
impressed with the way he was. You know, I I excused him for
28:02
being drunk. It was your birthday, you know, your turn up do
28:04
whatever. So he was like, oh, yeah, we're gonna buy my
28:07
mama house. Huh oh you get me? Oh okay. And from that
28:18
day own, like you know, we continued on with the relationship and we
28:22
had like I said, we had a beautiful relationship. I mean outside of
28:25
the other females, and you know, the insecurities and the communication and arguments
28:30
and stuff like that, and what really just solidified and maybe me though he
28:34
wanted to really be with me, it is because I gave him an ultimatum.
28:40
I'm like, I'm always coming down to see you. You need to
28:41
come see me, right theory he was and I told her, I was
28:48
like, you know, I'm done with this, like you know, I
28:51
feel like I'm giving more. So he proved to me. That's what made
28:55
me say, you know what, this this bag, this this is gonna
28:56
be my husband like this this this bay I am. So he flew to
29:02
Atlanta to see me. He send me the money to get his plane ticket.
29:04
Any came and that's what made me say, okay, he really truly
29:11
want to be with me. So we got over that obstacle again. Like
29:15
I said, the distance was you know, it was a struggle. Hold
29:17
on. What is talk about something about the sas it works. It worked,
29:30
it works, it works. The Saints and the Falcons have the best
29:34
relationships because that relationship was really good in the beginning. You know, despite
29:38
everything that we went. I love, I fell in love with it.
29:42
He yes, he was much younger than me, you know, but a's
29:47
don't matter. You know, you could be you know, I see it
29:51
all the time. You know, it is what it is. You know,
29:55
I fell in love with him. He's much younger than me. But
29:57
that was bad. So that's that's that's so, you know, we celidified,
30:06
our moved. But then it was like I saw a three sixty.
30:10
He had a traumatic, he had a death in a family, somebody really
30:11
closed his mother passed away and it changed. So that was you know,
30:18
he became really closed off. So that was that was another struggle in our
30:22
relationship, you know, trying to mean relationship. You know, when something
30:25
traumatic happens, so the person they shut down, and it's hard to really
30:30
kind of relate to somebody if you've never experienced or something traumatic like that.
30:37
So you really have to be considerate of your And it's not on the day,
30:44
it's only on how they did with it too, because I had my
30:48
dad who passed and I I kind of dealt with it, okay, you
30:55
know, of course we in the last two days, me and my dad's
31:00
spoke. It kind of made it at easy for me. So it's alone
31:03
how you deal with it too, because I ask that person can still be
31:07
grieving and this is the way greeting and I eat, for example, Kanye.
31:12
Okay, so let me answer another question says just your opinion knowing so
31:25
from the house side looking in and my relationship because you know, you know
31:29
my XPNC. You know y'all are really good friends. I mean, you
31:32
come to you like a sister everything. You know, you're my sister,
31:36
your husband is my is my brother. You know it looked good from the
31:41
outside getting it and we had fun together. That's another thing I found with
31:49
you. I'm sorry I had to. I had to jump on it.
31:52
I'm not trying to jump all over the place. But that's another struggle maintaining
31:56
a relationship, a healthy relationship. Y'all, you don't have fun with your
31:59
partner. Can me tell you something? Football season was our fun, and
32:06
then outside of that we learned how to have fun doing other things, like
32:09
right now, believe it or not, he introduced me and I used to
32:14
like, change the channel, it's the Avengers, any Marvel movies. We
32:20
would just go to the movie. It just watch and he introduced me.
32:24
He was like, okay, so now you gotta watch it from here.
32:28
So I just even like, we are so much alike it's scary. Believe
32:32
it or not, we are so much alike that it is scary. We
32:37
ain't kind of social too. And you know what, even though me and
32:42
my eggs are no longer together, like I feel no the way he moves
32:52
like we want to get over for years and I still know the way that
32:58
he moves. I still don't know the way to heys. And if that's
33:00
when you know your pointner, you know your pointner. You would always know
33:06
how this person is the most time you stid with them. It's the more
33:10
you know. Okay, he's about the chance not Checkers. You know his
33:15
movie before he knew thanked them. Oh yes, even not to this day
33:21
and we haven't communicating about a month now. Maybe it's been a little overer
33:29
Mom. I did see him, you know, it was like, but
33:35
like talking to him, he's all around break. I give the fight his
33:39
flaw. He's a good person. He's got a really good heart, you
33:43
know what I'm saying. And that's what I loved the most about him was
33:46
that he had the most given heart. He had a funny way of doing
33:52
things, but he had a really, really, really really given heart,
33:57
you know what I'm saying. And that's I think that's like why I loved
34:04
him so much, is because despite him being rough around the edges and being
34:08
flawed, he's a great person. And I want in a relationship, you
34:14
want somebody you could laugh with. You want somebody you could have fun with.
34:17
You know that's a that's a healthy relationship. You also want somebody that
34:23
praise with you. You know what I'm saying. You want somebody that praised
34:27
for not only your mental but you're emotional, you know what I'm saying.
34:31
And the physical is gonna come, you know, because once your bodies are
34:37
in sync, the love making is gonna be bombing because let me tell you
34:45
that they know and I'm telling y'all to be nastick, but they didn't know
34:50
how to hit the spot. Hell oh, I thought somebody tell somebody that
34:53
was talking about healthy relationship saying something, but we got the But I mean,
35:04
truly, sex helps to maintain a healthy relationship. I'm not saying you
35:07
gotta do it on the schedule. Switch it out, we'll play naked it
35:12
sight tell you you off camera to me, Oh, I know, because
35:22
you know we didn't have this. Okay, you don't by a lot of
35:28
things. Let me ask you. I'm sorry, y'all. I have to
35:31
call him this little half baby. I had to flat out in the suf
35:35
baby. I had to let this add down for the night because when we
35:37
get to talking about relationships, I'm trying to close it. I'm not trying,
35:43
but I'm gonna close the door on a chapter that I should have closed
35:45
a long time ago. But the heart one won't what the hardwones And love
35:51
is a funny thing? Do you so like? Let me ask shitty.
35:55
So I'm about to jump into the next question, but I want to say
36:00
something else in regards to maintaining a healthy relationship. I want everybody to know
36:04
that it's possible. You just have to be it. You just have to
36:07
put in the work to maintain a healthy relationship, even if that means seeking
36:12
marriage counseling, you know, having a therapist. You gotta do that.
36:17
You know what I'm saying, like put somebody put immediate. If you and
36:22
your your spouse or your mate or at a at a fork in a road,
36:29
it's okay to go and talk to a counselor because they will help you.
36:34
Well, I'm sorry, give you the tools to get that relationship back
36:37
gonna track so that way that that relationship stays healthy. So I do want
36:40
to say that, don't never be afraid. Everybody does it. You know,
36:45
they sit down to have brunch and roundtable discussion. So I do encourage
36:50
them. I do. Don't go talk to family, don't you don't know,
36:54
friends, nobody, nobody. I'm saying, I think I run talk
37:00
to someone you dun't know. Then I say, right, yeah, you
37:04
say the right because you was like, talk to talk to your friend.
37:07
I was like, no, definitely, talk to somebody you don't know.
37:13
Absolutely, talk to somebody. That's news. Somebody does not buy it.
37:17
You know what I'm saying, because family friends, especially if it's your best
37:23
friend, that's like, if you come to me and be like, girl,
37:27
let me tell you by him, girl, he's gonna I'm not gonna
37:30
give you advice because I don't know what it's like to be mad. So
37:32
I'm gonna be the wrong person, you know. And I let me say
37:37
this, I'm not a person that advocates for people divorcing and all that,
37:42
because baby, I'm all for black love. Black love, that's what I
37:45
advocate for, So savageable save it because Dave, he's black love. Long
37:52
term relationships or so already these days. So before I even up into the
38:00
next question, so let me ask you this. This your husband cheats,
38:06
or your wife cheats, or your girlfriend cheats, or your boyfriend cheats,
38:09
let me ask you this, how do you mean that broken relationship? Let
38:15
me ask you see, and you know what, it's gonna be a lot
38:21
of pieces to pick up because you're like, Okay, you cheated on us.
38:24
How do I know if you're gonna cheat again? Take it? Then
38:28
you over here, You're like, how am I gonna be able to trust
38:30
you? So? Why? Why? Why did you feel that what made
38:37
you cheat on me? What am I not doing for you cheat on me?
38:42
Like? It is that question for answering because a lot of people would
38:45
be like, you know, what gets your chicken out? We're done?
38:49
So then it's hard to throw away relationship that you got, ye is it?
38:54
Because I see some relationship was husband or either wife cheats they're working out.
39:02
I don't know, to be honest, that's that's hard. I mean,
39:07
you can talk about it, but where is your heart gonna be and
39:09
when you be able to chance to begin there? So let me ask you
39:14
this because I see this all too often when when relationships are broken, and
39:17
it doesn't necessarily have to be infidelity into into wild, relationship becomes broken.
39:23
It could be a job. You know, your husband or your wife is
39:30
working, or girlfriend or woyfriand is working all these long hours at a job
39:35
that could affect a relationship, you know, soul. Another thing in regards
39:43
to how I'm like men that are broken relationship with what would break a relationship
39:47
kids? When you have children? You know what I'm saying, because at
39:52
the end, when you have a child, it's no longer about you and
39:58
him or her and him. If it comes about the child. So let
40:01
me ask you this, Do you think having children can break a relationship honestly?
40:09
Like? Do do like your opinion? Do you honestly believe a baby
40:15
could break up break a relationship? Let me, I'm gonna be real honest,
40:22
it's not coming for me. I say yes, because the guy is
40:27
too selfish. Yeah, so okay, so we're gonna go there. Yes,
40:32
And because I'm here, yeah, we go. Sorry for the technical
40:39
difficulty. I think my I don't know you see me. Maybe it's just
40:44
coming back, but okay, there you go. We had Facebook tripping with
40:49
us tonight, but that's okay, you tripping with us. But we're gonna
40:52
keep it going. So back to my question. So let me let me
40:58
reiterate your question. Let me let me read the question. Do you think
41:00
children break a relationship? Do you think finances break a relationship? Do you
41:07
think outsiders break a relationship? So it's a three part question that I want
41:15
you to answer in three parts, and I want to know. I want
41:20
to hear what you have to say, and then I'm gonna respond to my
41:22
own question, like do I feel like so in regards to children, are
41:29
we talking about step children? Because you have some step children who cannot,
41:34
you know, accept the fact that their mom or dad is with another man
41:37
or woman, and you know, it's just not accepted to the fact.
41:43
I was watching a Bobby Brown, right okay, and they were at the
41:47
table and he was talking about you know, this is the new woman or
41:52
whatever whatever, and the daughter was very rude towards her, right. Okay.
41:58
From that, you'll have have either that man or that woman. Here
42:01
comes the ultimatum. You either tell your daughter respect me, or you and
42:07
her can leave. Okay. It regards yes, now, if it's your
42:13
own child, it's shouldn't. But you have some men and all women who
42:19
become selfish. Okay, by that all me, Hey, I'm here.
42:24
It's been about the child since she was born and stuff like that. So
42:29
yeah, uh, finances most definitely, why okay, because you have some
42:36
couples, like I said, when when times become hard, they're not able
42:42
to bear that together. Okay, it's ready to leave, because hey,
42:45
what if I came in with money and I decided to be with you and
42:51
you don't have anything. You know what this problem is yours, not mine?
42:54
Do I missay? Not to cut you off? Somebody girls like,
42:59
okay, some why they made a comment and said, what happens when your
43:02
partner doesn't own up to things that you say are issues for you? So
43:07
let's let me jump back, let me go back a little bit, and
43:09
then we'll go back to how do you mend the voke relationship? So to
43:14
respond to the question, somebody says, well, what happens when your partner
43:16
doesn't own up to the things that you say are issues for you? So
43:21
we're going, I'm sorry, We're gonna go back to struggles to maintaining the
43:24
relationship. How do we handle it? Like, how do like if I
43:28
come to you and say I don't like let me let me think of something.
43:37
What's something that okay, I don't like how you always put your mommy
43:42
in our relationship? How do you how do we address that? Like,
43:45
how do we handle that? Okay? When you I would say okay,
43:51
why why are you saying that way? Okay? Then then that's when you
43:54
create the understanding, even though I mean you shouldn't, but then you create
44:00
thee So this is why, because if you go to this person and you
44:04
say this, you're gonna make it hard for me and her it's gonna always
44:08
be that bad blood or you know, I don't think you could for my
44:13
daughter when I could be the best thing. But let's work out our issues
44:15
out amongst each other, you know, And then that's when you create the
44:21
understanding, like Okay, I see what you're saying. You know, if
44:22
I like this, for example, if I go to him or I broke
44:27
up with him, he ain't shit, blah blah blah blah, Like you
44:30
tell me your friend he ain't shit, and then next week you back with
44:32
him. That's why you don't do it in the first place, because if
44:37
you're gonna go back, don't don't don't go waste your time. But that's
44:40
that goes back to when I said, once you put a bad taste in
44:45
a person's mouth about somebody, they never taste the saint. So it doesn't
44:51
matter if they change, they still side out. And this person they're like,
44:54
girl, I remember when he did this, A boy, I remember
44:57
when she remember when she got up. So it's almost like you have to
45:05
keep people out of your relationship because they're gonna find their way in there and
45:09
no way they should. You too. You could you could be hugging and
45:12
you could be like, did you cheat on my daughter? Then you do
45:15
this, that's when it's gonna make matters even worse. So let me tell
45:20
you this, Okay, how do we break down because this is something we're
45:24
gonna work on together and and everybody else, how do you get a person
45:30
to talk? There's not big on communication because that's again and going back to
45:37
the troubles. If you're with a partner that don't communicate, how do you
45:42
break down that wall? How do you break down that barrier to open up
45:45
the lines of communication if, first of all, is either and this,
45:52
if you're not talking to me about issues, what are we even doing here?
45:59
Why are we even in the relationship? Okay, but so stop writing.
46:06
Let me ask you this because I'm about to play Devil's advocate for a
46:09
moment. Okay, what if you're the one say your partner is trying to
46:15
talk but you're like, okay, whatever, whatever you say, how would
46:22
he break down your wall? Just I guess asks me? See, oh,
46:30
asks me? What's going on? Why why don't I talk? What's
46:34
what's going on? Why don't you express the way you feel in this relationship?
46:38
And what if you don't? And if I don't blame me. I
46:45
don't blame it from leaving my ass there point, Blake, I don't blame
46:50
you so quick to throw in the towel, because how about I know what's
46:55
going on with my exactly? So if I don't say anything despite this man
47:01
trying to talk to me, what are we gonna gain from this relationship?
47:07
What is that to talk about? You might as well throw it all the
47:10
way. Then it's gonna get me to talk. I can, I can
47:14
really be in love with you. It just don't talk about my feelings.
47:16
Because there's some men that does that, does that, some women that does
47:21
that that don't open up about a lot, and so what that's gonna leave
47:24
you in your relationship? If you really love this person, If my husband
47:29
be like, you know what, I can't do this no more? You
47:30
don't want to talk to me about what's going on? This stuff like that,
47:35
that will probably make you open up. So let me ask you this
47:39
so again as well as we'll talk about the struggles, and you know,
47:45
of course, we're definitely gonna get back to how do you end a broken
47:46
relationship? Do you? Why would you pursue? Okay, so you and
47:53
so let's say you and your boyfriend or husband whatever, you know, y'all
47:58
a year until a relationship, and y'all are having these communication issues. You
48:02
knew from the beginning that you have difficulties communicate. You know from the beginning
48:07
that communication is a thing for you. How do we compromise? Because if
48:14
this is something that we really true, if we really truly want this relationship
48:17
to work, you have to compromise. So you have to be willing.
48:22
So one of the things that I that I'm learning as I go on my
48:28
journey is I have to be receptive to what you say, and you can't
48:35
be dismissive of what I have to see and vice versa. Granted, what
48:39
you say may hurt my feelings, but in order for us to continue on
48:45
in our relationship, you gotta work through those obstacles. That's in a way.
48:49
So I'm gonna say that, I'm definitely gonna put that out there in
48:52
the atmosphere. So let's go back. I'll go forward to how do you
48:57
mand that broken relationship? So your relationship is broken? You had? Okay,
49:00
so y'all have been arguing. He stays out all night, You staying
49:07
out all night? You come home you cook dinner, y'all don't talk.
49:13
So now your relationship is broken? M how do you fix it? What
49:17
do we we as women? What do what? On our part? What
49:22
do we need to do to help men that broken relationship? Instead of being
49:25
stubborn and it's whatever, you know, whatever you say? So how do
49:30
we How do we men our relationship that's been broken? The number one thing
49:37
that calls our relationships to fail. Communication. You have to talk about it.
49:44
When I was having my trust issues with my husband, we actually we
49:49
did talk about when was wrong and why I'm feeling that way. All it
49:54
took for him to just clear it up, make help me understand, Like,
50:00
what's you know, what's really going on? He used to be like
50:05
why, well, why do you feel this way? What makes you feel
50:07
this way? Do I make you feel this way? And then I tell
50:10
him again I don't want to dry name, but I get to Okay,
50:16
I don't like this. I don't like that. Communication is everything because,
50:23
like you said, we don't talk. What the hell are we doing here?
50:28
You're right, You're absolutely right. So again you know I can't elaborate
50:35
enough. You know, definitely, communication is big and men than a broken
50:37
relationship. But again, both people have to be willing to put in the
50:44
work. It cannot It's almost like getting in. It's almost like you're trying
50:49
to push a brick wall. Everybody has to be equally ready to put in
50:53
the work in order for the relationship to be many first and then enough.
51:00
The thing is do you want to fix the relationship? That should be the
51:02
question number one? Do you want to fix this relationship? Is this relationship
51:08
worth savaging? You know what I'm saying, is this relationship worth saving?
51:14
Is this marriage worth saving? Because if it is, then this is the
51:20
issues that I'm having with you, And I want to know the issueship that
51:22
having with me, and let's work on each issue every day. Let me
51:27
ask you this. So when you when you're addressing your issue with your husband
51:30
in regards to your insecurities, how did you how did you address it?
51:35
Were you I don't like this with these holes or was it probably it is
51:43
running down my face. I just don't like the way I feel like you
51:46
know that you may be interested in this person and not me. And sometimes
51:53
it was my own insecurities. It was me because why you feel that with
52:00
and it's like I'm trying to get around a bush, like I said,
52:04
without name dropping because I don't want to put you know, it was more
52:09
of this why you don't work? You know, if this is your friend,
52:15
how did this end up? This? You know, it was questions
52:19
that needed answers. So if you want this just saying, let me tell
52:23
you something. To beating a relationship. We actually broke up because who he
52:30
started to hang around? Okay, and I knew that person intentions was different
52:37
from what he thought, and that's that's the way it ended up. Like
52:43
I say, I don't they ended up like that. Yeah, So let
52:47
me ask you this. And you know, I love this Q and A
52:52
that we're doing tonight. I love that person's going to answers that we're doing
52:55
tonight. Like I'm really truly like I'm loving it. I'm really feeling it.
53:00
So wh okay, So let me say this. So when you're so
53:06
when you're asking him or told him how you felt, did he kind of
53:09
tap you know, tap dance around it? Then he was like, you
53:13
know, I really want to talk about you know that you're tripping or what
53:15
was he just like he was right to the point. Okay, when I
53:24
didn't know what was gonna ENDU become this? Like I said, the situation
53:30
varies, but he he was straight to the point, but with no knowledge
53:36
of not saying he was making excuses. I'm not saying that, but it
53:40
was like I didn't know this person felt this way. When a woman,
53:45
a woman knows woman, a woman's intuition is real because I knew, Yes,
53:55
communication, I mean I I just don't think we can say any better.
54:02
Like you definitely have to communicate. Like if there's no communication, like
54:08
you say, what's the point? It's what's the point? You know,
54:12
what's the purpose of us being here? You know what I'm saying. If
54:16
we can't if you can't trust your spouse, your meet, your partner,
54:22
whatever they call each other these days. Bay bull, you know what boo
54:28
is. Boo is in my baby, that's my little book, like Abakamar
54:30
is my little I love him Baby. I would know y'all that I love
54:38
him. Number him in this video. He from North Cross, Georgia.
54:43
He number forty one for to say I'm speaking him and to exist. He
54:46
twenty four. That's all right? He okay? Legal, So so okay,
55:00
So this is gonna definitely pose my next question as we finish out.
55:07
So communication you say, it's definitely a way to mend the broken relationship.
55:13
What about counseling? What about the are you let me? Are you against
55:16
marriage counselor or relationship counselors prior to marriage, prior to you know, relationship.
55:23
You know, some people are against it. Some people go in and
55:27
they're like, y'all don't want to talk to nobody. How the hell they're
55:29
gonna tell me what to say? Or are they don't know my life?
55:32
Are you again? Are you for? Are you against? You know?
55:36
You need they require you to get marriage counsel there before you actually get your
55:43
thing to me. Husband did not do that. So what we did is
55:49
we actually each other in the beginning. Are you sure you want to do
55:51
this? Are you sure you want to get married? We ask it.
55:57
I think it was a lot of people would like to know what's the we
56:00
get to the root of their own problem? Is up to someone to tell
56:05
them, Okay, your problem is this? Where do we go wrong?
56:09
How can we get back to the good times? Remember we used to just
56:13
run around the house butt naked and stuff like that. Remember the time?
56:16
You know, I'm just doing examples gott no longer. I remember the five's
56:21
neighbors. You see and you talk about it, and you see it's like,
56:24
okay, I do remember that. You know where do we go wrong?
56:30
You know? I want to get back to that. I love you.
56:31
If you that I love you, and I want to work. I
56:34
want to work this or I love you, but I feel this can't work.
56:38
It's no great area. It's either back or so. I mean some
56:47
people, it's not being against it. It's like you want to get to
56:51
your room or your own problems first before you pay somebody to be like,
56:54
I think that's our problem. No, we talk about it. What made
56:59
you have happy? And you know what? Again? Sorry, I don't
57:01
go on it all. Remember this Why did I get married? I believe?
57:07
Or why did I get married too? And how Janny had them right?
57:09
All the good things that he ever done for you on one side and
57:15
the opposite side all the bad things, and it's the good I weigh the
57:17
bad. Then you know what you gotta do. I think it should be
57:22
something like that, because if what are you missing from your relationship? Figuring
57:29
out? But let me say this about kids, it does kind of affect
57:36
that is I won't say affect, but that is one of the struggles because
57:40
your sex life goes down, you know what I'm saying. And like I
57:44
say, I ain't thinking about it. You don't get that. Let me
57:51
tell you when I had a man big, I was snacking off, flip
57:54
rub it down. Let me tell you something. And me and my husband,
58:05
we haven't been on that. Wow. So my mother in law she
58:09
was like, you know what, y'all gool go out, get a room,
58:17
just go have fun. We got the kids. That's shout my mother
58:24
in law forgiving it, throwing out that because we it it's like, you
58:31
know, it's just been about the kids. And but I can't say I'm
58:36
so grateful to have a husband who'll be like, you know, I understand
58:39
and stuff like that. No we can't do how we shit, that's how
58:44
it got here. So no we're not. We can't do that right now.
58:47
But I'm so glad they understand that he's not like I needed and this
58:53
and that because they help men who's like you haven't touched me in about fifty
58:59
years stuff like that, And that's an exaggeration, but you had those men
59:04
like that. Like I said, I'm just blessed to have some understand I
59:12
knew. I wish mine understood why our sex life changed, because then we
59:15
went from humping like brunning rabbits. They when I tell you we blessed our
59:20
whole apartment where we well we couldn't because my baby girl was down there with
59:24
us for like almost two weeks, so we couldn't really just you know,
59:29
we couldn't blame you know, she would like I would think she would sleeping.
59:34
I would get out of the bed because he would be in a living
59:36
room on an air mattress, and I try to say, and here she
59:37
come out of the room. He was like, damn. I was like
59:40
tail, you know, you know my little mamma baby. My mom was
59:45
ready, yeah, like mother would need some change. I was ready,
59:52
baby, for the black I was ready. You know what I'm wanting,
59:57
you know. But I mean, so here we go, and this is
1:00:04
something we've all gone through, and this last question is my is my journey
1:00:09
right now. I'm not gonna get emotional. I promise I may drop a
1:00:14
couple of tears because this is the hardest thing that I have to do.
1:00:16
It's all about clothes. In the chapter You're right, yeah, absolutely right.
1:00:22
So as we move on, how do you know when it's time to
1:00:30
let go and move on? You go first? Sis? How do you
1:00:35
know when it's crazy you love someone but you know you're not in love with
1:00:42
them. Don't waste nobody time. Yeah, the attitude change towards you.
1:00:49
You can tell they're just interested in you when they start looking at you.
1:00:53
It's just like my this you can tell about the whole Do sit down.
1:01:00
Hey, obviously this isn't working. It's time to go with The feelers are
1:01:07
mutual. So how do you know, so to say, arguments increase,
1:01:17
Yes, definitely, You'll start spending more and more time away from the house
1:01:24
because it's almost like, damn, I gotta go home. So today this
1:01:37
is how I know it's time for me to let go and move on because
1:01:44
he's moved on. I think the thing that hurt me the most is that
1:01:55
I knew because you know, we had gotten to a on in our relationship
1:02:00
where we no longer were healthy for each other. You know, it became
1:02:10
we argued all the time. All the time we argued. It was all
1:02:15
we argued over the simple things. Finances, sex again, because our sex
1:02:20
life had really gone down I had gained weight, so I didn't feel attracted.
1:02:25
I didn't feel like he was you know, I was attracted to him.
1:02:30
It started to become messages between him and other females. So it was
1:02:37
like it became tip pottect. Oh you're doing this, so I'm gonna do
1:02:40
this, you know, it became tip protect. I will say this,
1:02:45
I don't know if he was physically physical with anybody. I was not physical
1:02:51
with anybody. But when you start communicating with another person and y'all exchanging sexually
1:02:59
explicit picture your cheating, right, Definitely, if you're deleting text messages,
1:03:06
deleting uh instant messages, you're cheating because again, you should be confiding in
1:03:12
your spouse you're making and not someone else. So I had done everything.
1:03:20
I felt like if I love them hard enough, he would change. But
1:03:24
in the midst of me trying to fix him, I was losing myself,
1:03:30
you know. And that and that goes back to the video, you know
1:03:32
last week's episode. You know, I was dealing with the pressure, you
1:03:37
know, the pressure, the names, and I did not know. So
1:03:39
it was like, hurt people, hurt people. So part of me still
1:03:49
wanted because I had built and established so much with this man in four years.
1:03:53
You know, we it went from being friends on Facebook. We went
1:03:58
you know, I was going to visit him, we moved in together.
1:04:01
It was just me and him. So life got hard when he left because
1:04:09
he became my safe spot, you know, he became my safe space.
1:04:14
You know, even though I couldn't really talk to him, I didn't want
1:04:16
to talk to him. I last out of him, so he would leave,
1:04:21
I would go get him. And so finally, like what really broke
1:04:28
our relationship was not just the sex part, but finances and then the infidelities.
1:04:35
And no matter how much he did his dirt and I did my dirt,
1:04:40
I still wanted this man because again I had built this life with him,
1:04:43
because I just knew he was my husband. We were engaged, we
1:04:45
had put it on Facebook, I mean everything, you know, we were
1:04:48
playing in a wedding everything. And so today, well really I knew last
1:04:58
week it was time for me to let go well knowing to take that back,
1:05:01
well, yeah, lastly, I know it was time for me to
1:05:04
that goal because I had finally come to the realization. And except that the
1:05:10
fact he's moving on, he know, love on wants to be with me,
1:05:14
and I have to and I have to be okay with that, and
1:05:18
I think it would be so selfish. I mean, not to him to
1:05:21
be happy, whether it's with me or anybody else. I think that would
1:05:25
be so selfish. And so when I saw him last all, I don't
1:05:30
hope. I told him I free for peace. I want you to be
1:05:38
happy, whether it's with me or anybody else. I want genuinely be happy.
1:05:43
And I still free with him. So as a today, as a
1:05:51
today, I'm gonna go ahead, and I'm gonna need trouble as a today.
1:06:03
And I said I was not gonna cry. You're okay. As much
1:06:14
as I love you, I have to let you go. I know where
1:06:25
am I healthy for each other. We're very toxic for each other because I
1:06:31
have a lot of baggage if you have a lot of baggage. So today
1:06:42
I'm letting you. I'm closing the door. Only shifty in my life.
1:06:49
As much as I love you, and letter say you love it's so crazy.
1:06:53
You know the Mark woods for the Mark boots, but I'd rather for
1:06:59
you. You know, I have to get myself together. You know,
1:07:03
hopefully one thing got cross past and you know, Hey, how you doing
1:07:08
it? And keep it moving? But I wish you the best where you
1:07:12
are, you know, I really honestly do. I hope that you will
1:07:17
change and be better because God designs you to be a great man. You
1:07:25
know, I'm not gonna get on here and I'm not gonna bassham and and
1:07:28
all the other crazy and stuff because I could out of anger emotions. And
1:07:32
you know, we do it, you know when we break up, you
1:07:34
know, the first thing we want to do. We want to say,
1:07:36
oh he wasn't shit, Oh he was this, she was that, you
1:07:40
know. So I'm mom, what'd you say? That's what they say?
1:07:45
His smile. I tried to keep myself out. I said, that's what
1:07:49
they say. That's what they say. I know it. We are still
1:07:55
getting to get at but I knew that when he's so so anyway, So
1:08:02
back to what I was saying, I wish you the best. Yet,
1:08:08
No, I love you. I'm gonna always love you. You always have
1:08:12
a place at my heart. But I have to move on. I've accepted
1:08:18
that you moved on, and I was trying fastal and move on because I'm
1:08:24
not going into twenty twenty one with this factage that I've carried all this time.
1:08:30
You know what I'm saying, I'm not I'm not carrying that with me
1:08:31
in twenty and twenty one. So and I didn't mean to jump off the
1:08:35
subject and the question. But this is who we came on here for.
1:08:40
This is how you close the chapter. You're gonna close it with tests,
1:08:44
but you're gonna open it with a new pen, a new book, chapter
1:08:47
one, fresh start. That's what we're doing. That's that's how you rebuild,
1:08:56
You reveal from the ground up, right, So this is how we
1:08:59
pick up the pieces. This is what we have to do. And I
1:09:03
think that's why I had to let his head down to day. Y'all don't
1:09:06
judge me, you know, I'm just I mean, my whole natural state
1:09:11
and probably be back up on the phone and sail next week. I don't
1:09:14
know if i'd be braiding, who knows, but I might be baldheaded when
1:09:16
I come back on your next who you know how that's it When a woman
1:09:19
about the change she cut her hand, I'm thinking I might have it,
1:09:28
you know, I might get balhead, I might what color something. But
1:09:33
you know, but back to what you know on the question. So when
1:09:41
a communication becomes less and less when you're start spending more time away from the
1:09:45
house and when you feel like you've done all that you could done do and
1:09:49
you know that it's just nothing salvageable. It's trying to let go and move
1:09:56
on because why why stay somewhere? And you're both making each other miserable,
1:10:01
right, it's toxic at that point. Who toxicate the word baby? So
1:10:11
let's go ahead and move on. So we're gonna get down to our final
1:10:15
thoughts. Let's get on down to our final thoughts. So tonight, as
1:10:27
I closed the door on that chapter, it's hard. I'm not gonna lie.
1:10:35
I'm not gonna lie because I still love them even though I know we're
1:10:40
not going for each other. But that's okay, you know, it's it's
1:10:43
natural. So our final thoughts tonight was, you know, husband, white,
1:10:47
boyfriend, girlfriend relationships. We're definitely encounter a lot of interruptions. You
1:10:53
know, we we face you know, financial struggles. You know we're in
1:10:57
a in a marriage, you know we go through children. You know,
1:11:00
again, I can't stress enough communication, like we definitely you have to talk.
1:11:04
If you don't talk, your talk to your spouse, you make your
1:11:09
partner, because that's what they're there for. You know, you keep people
1:11:15
out of your relationships, family friends, People that have never been married.
1:11:21
Can't give married people advice because you don't know what it's like to be mad.
1:11:26
You know. I don't take advice from single people because it's apparently it's
1:11:30
a reason why you're sing. No, I'm kidding, that's a joke,
1:11:33
you know, but really, no, I'm really I'm so glad that I
1:11:41
decided to do this episode tonight simply because I do. I need to close
1:11:48
that chapter and maybe I can finally get to the end of their dream.
1:11:56
You know what I'm saying. Maybe I can finally get to the end of
1:11:59
their dream, maybe understand, get clarity, gain clarity. So I mean,
1:12:06
you know again this. You know, all my episodes are special,
1:12:11
every last one of them are special. So I won't say this is a
1:12:13
special episode, because all my episodes are gonna be special. Definitely want to
1:12:17
let you guys know. Tune in every Tuesday night a pm Central Time,
1:12:24
nine pm Eastern Time, because next Tuesday, we're gonna continue with relationship,
1:12:30
but we're going into mother daughter relationships. Oh my god, that's definitely something
1:12:36
I'm definitely ready to talk about his mother daughter relationship. How to? How
1:12:42
to you know, what's the healthy mother daughter relationship? You know? How
1:12:45
do you repair a mother daughter relationship? You know, when you're at odds
1:12:50
with your daughter, you know, how do you continue to maintain it?
1:12:55
What are the struggles we go through in everyday life raising a daughter or our
1:13:00
churns? You know? Next tusie ABM central time, not bmtime, such
1:13:06
such a clock, such a notifications because we're going all in next week,
1:13:11
All right, sist, Okay, I didn't stand my final thought. Come
1:13:14
on, what's your final thought for tonight? What what's your thing for tonight?
1:13:18
So for tonight, I take through this episode, which is also a
1:13:23
teachable one. Love on your spouse and your significant other. Always keep that
1:13:28
open line of communication. Keep your problems off for social media. Your business
1:13:33
is not for everybody. That one. I forgot that one, because that's
1:13:40
a struggle right there. Social media, we're disgusting. That's okay. Keep
1:13:49
your problems off for social media. Your businesses not for everybody. Because next
1:13:54
saying, you know you have people in your inbox talking about something. Oh
1:13:57
well, this and that. I don't want to try to tell you what
1:14:00
I post towards my husband, open line of communication, love on your spouse,
1:14:05
go on dates, always talk to each other, see why each other,
1:14:10
head and heart act and another thing. Follow me on colors by Keish,
1:14:17
Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. Keisha Corner on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.
1:14:26
I want to well, you have to attempt like since you have to
1:14:29
tell what is Keisha's Corner? Oh you know what? Yeah, let me
1:14:33
get into that Keish Corner. It's a podcast where we bring all the conversations
1:14:38
and hot topics to the corner, which is my corner. I owned that
1:14:41
corner. No prostitute. We're talking black businesses, Ladies Week, events,
1:14:46
hot topics. Probably no gossip, but I'm just saying they got another enough
1:14:53
gossip sites. I'm breaking highlights to black businesses on my corner store segment.
1:14:59
If you know any black businesses that would like to be teached on Keish Corner,
1:15:02
send me an email at kesh k E s H S Corner with a
1:15:08
K K who R N E R at gmail dot com with your name,
1:15:12
your business name, and a couple of protests that you would like to be
1:15:15
teached. And although I don't have it scrolling on the screen. I will
1:15:19
post all the links in the comments section like share No let me change that,
1:15:27
subscribe like love share. Get us out here, let them know.
1:15:33
I'm your girl, Ashley. I'm the one that's bringing all the interruptions fort
1:15:40
do you hear me, I'm bringing all the interruptions to the forefront. We're
1:15:44
gonna work through this, ladies, We're gonna go through this. I need
1:15:47
you to know. I want you guys to tune in every Tuesday night apm
1:15:53
Central time, nine pm Eastern time. Don't forget. You can follow me
1:15:56
at Black Girl Interrupted on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. It's gonna give
1:16:00
you all the show information and upcoming events because I'm definitely trying to get some
1:16:04
events planned for the new year. Because guess what, Black Girl Interrupt this
1:16:10
God that take up y'all gonna see me on Black Girls Rode Baby. So
1:16:15
again on the on the final thought, so I want to start ending my
1:16:17
episodes with something positive on every episode, whether it's about what we talked about,
1:16:24
but I definitely want to end with something positive. Stop speaking in the
1:16:28
in the past test and start speaking in the present test. So that is
1:16:33
my positive note for the night. Stop talking in the past and talk in
1:16:39
the present manifest what you want, speaking claiming, speaking like it's already happy.
1:16:47
Guess what. I made a post the other day and I told them
1:16:51
so. My post was girl, did you see asking all black girls?
1:16:55
Rod? I didn't know Beverly Bond set her personal invitation to come and she's
1:17:00
being recognized for night and I didn't brought my girls with me. Oh,
1:17:02
let me let me not forget. Shout out to my sonster Maggie. She's
1:17:06
not on with us tonight, But Maggie, I love your baby here.
1:17:11
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you,
1:17:13
thank you, thank you, thank you. So again, stop talking in
1:17:18
the past, and speak in the present, manifest what you want, speaking
1:17:23
as if it's already had. So I definitely want to leave your guys on
1:17:27
that positive note for them. And can I say one more thing, be
1:17:31
the change that you want to see and make sure y'all are in those lines
1:17:35
early voting dead starts. Go vote and remember election day November three. Go
1:17:44
vote, vote, vote, vote, vote, vote vote changed that you
1:17:47
want to see. Go vote. See that's exactly see you know what this
1:17:53
is exactly why I need to do tonight, because I really completely forgot early
1:17:57
voting started today yep, and for George yesterday yesterday. So let me pick
1:18:03
it back what you just said. If you won't change, get out there
1:18:06
and vote. Voter suppression is real. Okay. I was up there at
1:18:11
seven o'clock this morning trying to vote. The machines kept going down. They
1:18:15
was only checked. They had one machine checking in twelve people at a time.
1:18:17
Do not let that deter you from vote. Get out there and vote
1:18:20
if you want to see a change. But twenty twenty one, you're better
1:18:25
get out there and vote today. Your voice matters. Your voice count,
1:18:28
your vote counts. Stop letting the media tell you that it don't count.
1:18:31
It don't matter. Also, another thing that I saw on Facebook. I
1:18:34
will post the picture in the comments. If you get a ballot and somebody
1:18:41
writes d or or whatever on your ballot, pay attention to that because you
1:18:45
know they do not accept ballots that have been written on That's another way.
1:18:49
That's another scam for voter suppression. So paying attention to your ballots. And
1:18:55
another thing, one more thing. In California, they're using fuss balotes.
1:19:00
If you cannot make it to the post office, put it in your mailbox
1:19:03
with the flag. Do not drop in no boxes that are not the post
1:19:10
office box. I will prefer everyone to go ahead, but everybody doesn't have
1:19:15
that luxury of a ride to get there. Please be mindful where you put
1:19:20
your balots and if you're gonna rise. I know LIFT is given fifty percent
1:19:25
off rides. I'm taking people to the post to vote, so lift l
1:19:30
y FT. I don't know if Uber is doing it, but I know
1:19:32
Lift is doing it. I received the email yesterday, so get out there.
1:19:35
Rock the vote. Also, I'm gonna I need to vote. One
1:19:40
of my Facebook followers posted something in regards there's a website that you could check
1:19:45
to make sure that your balot when you're mailing your ballot, that your balot
1:19:48
has been counted. It's a website. Again, I did not think even
1:19:54
about voting tonight, but you know, mentioning anything about voting. But but
1:19:58
pay attention. I will put all the links in comments. Get out there
1:20:00
and vote. Make a change, make a difference. If you want to
1:20:03
see a change in the White House, we gotta get that man out of
1:20:06
them, all right. So again I want to take everybody that tuned in
1:20:12
tonight, thank you for all your comments, all your love sis. I
1:20:15
want to say thank you for joining me tonight again. I definitely love the
1:20:19
Q and eight. Tonight we had a ball baby, and look, don't
1:20:25
forget because you're a mother of a daughter. So if you want to jump
1:20:28
on with your girl next week, come on to the Black Girl Interrupted couch.
1:20:32
If you want to bring your wine, your call, fore, your
1:20:34
tea, whatever, because we're going into these relationships mother daughter relationships. Next
1:20:40
Tuesday, eight pm Central Time, nine pm eas sometime I will be streaming
1:20:45
live on Facebook. I will be streaming live on YouTube, So catch me
1:20:48
and I'm gonna post post posts again. Love, subscribe, love like share,
1:20:55
let them know we're here. So love your sis. I love you,
1:21:00
I love your baby. Love everybody out there on Facebook, YouTube,
1:21:04
everybody they tune in tonight. I love you again. God blessed every last
1:21:09
one of y'all. Again stop speaking in the past and starts speaking in the present.