Latest / overslept w/ chris laker / weird shaped head - oct 06 2026
Transcript
- Chris Laker: I am just waking up from some weird dreams. So that's where my headspace is at. I'm not gonna tell you about them. Not gonna even try because people get upset when you try to say dream. And they won't say it to you while you tell them the dream, but later on they'll go around saying, don't you hate it when people tell you about their dreams? sorry. What are you gonna tell me about? Some bullshit that happened to you that I didn't see? That's as good as a dream to me. Not saying every dream should be described, but sometimes they're noteworthy. I like to hear dreams. They're more interesting than just regular bullshit. yeah, it didn't happen, but it happened in your head A lot of what happens in real life happens in your head too. somebody says something, I interpret it, put a whole fucking story around it that I will never know is true, then I say that that happened. that's as real as a dream sometimes. But I'm not gonna tell you any of the dreams. Mostly because they're a little hazy. I just remember that they're weird. And coming out I'm still a little kind of getting my footing in reality. Okay, I'm here. I'm in reality. That stuff don't matter. That's the best feeling is waking up from the dreams when there's been like a busy dream night, just a lot of stuff happening, moving from one thing to the next everything's piling up, finally you wake up, have a moment what do I have to do? What do I have to do? nothing. That was all a waste of time. I don't even feel rested. But at least there's some relief. I'm still tired, but I'm relieved. from the the non existent obligations that I thought I had as I was waking up. I'm in reality, I'm out of dream world. Time to do the news. Cornell Faculty Senate introduces no confidence resolution over handling of alleged twenty twenty four sexual assault. They have a resolution. No confidence resolution. They have no confidence in the resolution. I don't know what that means, the no confidence resolution. absolutely, all of Cornell faculty and staff are appalled at the failure of this cover up. They thought it had gone away, and here it is still two years later. If you wanna sweep sexual assault at your school under the rug, you gotta do it better than that. So they have a resolution, a no confidence resolution, which to me doesn't sound good, but I think it's better than it sounds. they are determined to act contrite because that's all you can do now. It's too late to try to cover it up again. and just act like nothing happened. Now you act contrite and say, We'll have these policies in place The most important thing is how does this affect the money? Alumni contributions, tuition coming in. Cornell as a school has to do a really good job right now in acting appalled and upset at what happened, there is a no confidence resolution. So that's a start. if that doesn't satisfy everybody, what will? Chicago woman shot five times by CBP officer files federal lawsuit. The border protection shot her five times. Another one of those. The car was weaponized. Gonna shoot at the car. That car is a weapon. The Border Patrol people, the ICE people, they can shoot at every car they want because those are all potential weapons. And even if they're not coming right at them, they could be. If they see a car they don't like, they get to shoot it. And this Border Patrol officer who shot five times at a car that he said was a threat to him. which yeah. okay. No charges on him, So now she's gotta sue. Hopefully she gets some money because her car's fucked up. And there's probably other things that were affected by this whole situation that nothing's covered. They're just like too fucking bad. You shouldn't have been in a car that looked dangerous. Hope she wins some money. That's editorializing. Me saying I hope she wins money. That's not news. I editorialize the news. It's like Fox News. They editorialize. Sometimes just in the tone of voice that they say. Chicago woman shot five times by CPP officer, files for federal lawsuit. That's how they might say it. I'll editorialize in the tone of this next headline here. Controversial televangelist Jim Baker dies at eighty six. I'm happy that he's dead. I didn't realize he was still alive. He was dodging God till yesterday. Now he's dead. He was not looking forward to this. having to go like the judgment. if that's what happens, he is sweating right now. Dolly Parton Estate alleges nephew evading lawsuit with barbed wire trespassing sign. His nephew was the head of Dolly Parton security, and he's threatening all these people involved because he wants more money out of the estate. So he's threatening people and he's saying, I'm a killer. I'm you're the head of Dolly Parton's security. one of the most beloved people in the history of the country. Everybody loves Dolly Parton. Now he's being sued by the estate and he does not wanna deal with that lawsuit because you're gonna go to court in Tennessee being sued by Dolly Parton. I mean not her, but her estate. And yeah, that's not gonna go well for anybody. Paramount takes over Warner Brothers in a hundred and ten billion dollar Hollywood merger. institutions die. Show business was fun while it lasted. This is now some other weird shit the Ellisons and I'm sure there's some Saudi wealth fund money in there it's probably gonna be all AI content being churned out pretty soon. they made some deal to make thirty movies a year. And then what happens if they don't make thirty movies a year? they go to jail? probably nothing happens if they don't hold up to that deal. nothing means anything anymore. I am bummed out, but these companies are just dead now. they've probably been dead for a little bit. now they're truly dead. US book bans in public schools reach record annual high of twelve thousand. read a lot in high school because I'm dyslexic and it takes me a long time and it's frustrating. But if I heard a book was banned, I would probably have sought out that book and read the first few pages of it. go find some banned books, kids. I know a lot of kids watch this show. I say don't watch this show. It's I curse, say bad words, so don't be like me. you're the future. There's no future, but you are the future that doesn't exist. it's gonna be the saddest for you when this all ends. However that's gonna happen, I don't know. Pentagon to execute convicted Fort Hood mass shooter Nadel Hassan by firing squad. Well you're not gonna mess around with lethal injection these days. Gotta go firing squad. It'd be funny if he still lived after the firing squad, I am against the death penalty. I don't know why I feel the need to say that every time the death penalty comes up. Students vandalize Cornell building over handling of gang rape allegations. shouldn't vandalize. I know it's fun. You get caught up in the moment. you got that mob mentality. it doesn't help your cause. Whenever I see it happening, I'm like, that looks fun. But you shouldn't do it. So don't vandalize kids. Walmart Trader Joe's frozen berries added to expanded recall due to E. coli. I have some frozen blueberries. They're not from Walmart or Trader Joe's. I have to look up to see if they're recalled. And then I still don't trust them. I might have to take a chance if there's no show tomorrow, I got E. coli from frozen blueberries from Ralph's Kroger. Simply organic Kroger blueberries gave me E. coli if you don't see me tomorrow. probably will come on to do a short show and say, I got E. coli I'm a part of the news if I get it. I think just eating the blueberries makes me part of the news. What do we need an FDA for? Regulations. Ex-SPY chief is arrested in Germany on suspicion of trading states' secrets and treason. the ex-spy chief in Germany. What kind of secrets they got in Germany that are worth anything? and this was your spy chief? A guy who can't even get away with spying on his own country? the people that suspect him even less. He was like, he was a spy chief. Of course he's not spying on us. And then he still gets caught for German state secrets. Who's paying for Germany state secrets? France, maybe. I could understand if France did. Pennsylvania measles outbreak is the largest in decades in the US. Of course. Yeah, we know that. That's not new news. Why do they keep posting about measles every day? Yeah, measles in Pennsylvania. People are dying from measles. it's the highest, it's the record, and then tomorrow it will be higher, and then they'll say, the it's a record breaker. One day. Science will come up with a cure for measles and this will stop happening. Former American Idol Contestant sentenced to life without parole for wife's murder. This guy. They keep calling him American Idol Contestant. He was on a season in 2013. He didn't make it past the first week of Hollywood week, and they keep calling him American Idol Contestant. would this be a national news story if this guy did not appear on American Idol for a couple of weeks thirteen years ago? He also has an oddly shaped head and they used AI to make the song that he wrote for his girlfriend that he killed his wife for. These guys that kill their wives instead of getting a divorce. How many of you have to get caught before you realize, yeah, I'll just get the divorce? you see divorced people all day long. now he's in jail for the rest of his life and I guess he'll still be known in jail as the guy who was on American Idol with the weird shaped head.