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Sober Talk SA -Anne · Sober Talk SA

• 0:00
  Welcome to sober talk. I'm Dennis and I've lived
• 0:02
  experience of alcohol. If you or anyone you know is
• 0:06
  struggling with alcohol, please call Alcoholics Anonymous on
• 0:10
  1300 double 22222 or check out their website on aa.org dot AU.
• 0:18
  I'll just run through the preamble of Alcoholics
• 0:21
  Anonymous. Alcoholics Anonymous is a
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  fellowship of men and women who share their experience,
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  strengthen hope with each other they might solve their common
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  problems and help others to recover from alcoholism.
• 0:34
  The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop
• 0:37
  drinking. There are no dues or fees for
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  AIR membership. We are self supporting through
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  our own contributions. AIR is not allied with any sex
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  denomination, politics, organization or institution,
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  Does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses or
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  oppose any causes. Our primary paths is stairs of
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  other Alcoholics achieved sobriety.
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  The quality of this audio recording is very low, but it is
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  the only way we can present this story and it's important, so
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  PBAFM thanks you for being very forgiving.
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  Hello, I'm Anne and I'm an alcoholic and airborne.
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  I could already date the 12th of September tree they're being big
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  by gave bova and it's a lot to share my story and that she does
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  for arcing and nice some look our cars and what I eat debris.
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  So you know, it's nice to be able to share some what happened
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  and what it was what like and what what it got, what happened
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  and what it got. Should I and you know, for for
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  me being an alcoholic, I now my life completely changed then.
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  Well, when I was drinking, you know, because living in a small
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  country town and now I'm sure everybody in the town knew I was
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  alcoholic a bit for male. I was so naive, you know, I had
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  a pretty normal childhood, but I do believe that then I was born
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  an alcoholic and and I had other members of the family and I
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  think my grandpa probably God be busy and I've got another family
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  members that are probably struggling and no, and and
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  that's irrelevant to my it's my disease and I'm the only one
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  that can do what I need to do. So there is a better life than
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  you know, the whole the eve that I drank, I and I did quite a few
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  news that was fun and made me feel a part of life.
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  And you know, when I've picked up my first few drinks, I think,
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  you know, like I'll probably I'm nice, I'll never having drinks
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  as a child, You know, I get get and give it a few drinks, but
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  you know, nothing significant until I, you know, a bit older
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  than is out of and not working and going out with friends,
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  then, you know, I'm still under aid.
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  But, you know, we're drinking up and, you know, and it was really
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  good fun. And but then, you know, like as
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  as the years got on, I could say that I was drinking harder and
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  faster than a lot of my friends and a lot of my friends
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  probably, you know, maybe one day need to be here too.
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  But but you know, it's not about anybody else.
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  It's about me and and their behaviour.
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  And you know, like says a lot of years it was fun and then it
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  wasn't. And, you know, I clocked that
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  invisible line and started doing things, you know, like I'll, I
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  bought up with a Catholic background, you know, my, my
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  parents, you know, want me to go to mass church and that kind of
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  thing. But if I weren't, you know, the
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  street Catholic lady would just be the right thing that, that
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  the, the not, not a lot. I had good mould and you know,
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  when I drank and you know, when I crossed that invisible line,
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  my mould went out the door and, you know, I'll drinking and, you
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  know, hanging around with the wrong cake all.
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  And I love the thinking in the front part of the pub and like
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  cooking up with the wrong people and did lots of shameful things
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  that you know, like I I've, you know, I've got a lot of that
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  stuff to rest with going through the programme of AIS at 1:00.
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  But yeah, anyway, for a lot of years I've drank and it got
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  worse and we had our family business and I don't my way
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  through that. And I worked, I worked really
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  hard. But at the end of the day, I'd
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  have a bottle of Brandy and and just locked my bill away and I'd
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  have that and then I'd still want more.
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  That disease is more than me, you know, like I always wanted
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  more. One was never enough and and in
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  the towards the end of it, it wasn't the end, but their eight
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  years before I did stop drinking.
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  Yeah, I was drinking Brandy and and I ended up having the
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  barcotic episodes and I know today they were due to my
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  alcoholism. And like I said, I was really
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  naive and, and I ended up in bring God and I into institution
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  and I'll come there for over a month and I'll dominate with a
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  mental health problem, which I know today it was actually my
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  alcoholicism. I don't have a mental problem.
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  I have, I have alcoholism and I really, I'm nearly grateful that
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  I know that today and I know what to do about it.
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  And but I, you know, like I that was eight years before I stopped
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  drinking that I ended up in Glenside and I come out of
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  Glenside and wasn't really going out to drink too much.
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  And so I started again on light year and then it just paid birth
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  as it does, you know, it thinks a progressive disease and it did
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  in me for sure. And I drank on cognitive
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  medication that I was on. And no, I think that another
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  eight years and the thing got really bad.
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  No, and we, we sold the family business because of my sickness
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  and I, I've got other doc and then the other dog they got we,
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  you know, like A and you know, like I was working first and
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  friends that had a, a freak bed shop and they were lovely,
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  caring Christian family and they really, really tried to help me
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  time and time again and are doing their I joined their
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  religion and, you know, they had women that were trying to help
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  me and, and I, you know, it, I felt involved a little bit, but
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  I just didn't feel like, felt like I really belonged.
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  And and I realized that it was the music and that that was
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  keeping me there. It was all, you know, really
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  lovely music and stuff like that and none of realized after a
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  while. But you know, that's not going
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  to that's not going to help me. So I moved on and, you know, I
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  ended up losing that dog because I just kept turning up to look
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  drunk. And, you know, it was really
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  demoralizing. And now you do up the washing
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  dishes at the the local pub and yeah, I would have drink.
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  I would have drink there while I was working, but I was turning
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  up drunk when I when I did turn up for work, that I wouldn't
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  drink with them when I'm not blocked because I knew I
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  couldn't guarantee them I'll be hired here in public anymore.
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  A blacked out in pub and yeah, I just, you know, look up.
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  It got to that day where I couldn't drink in public anymore
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  though. I drank home alone and ended up
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  helpless, unemployable and drinking at home alone and it
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  was just revolting. I remember my sister-in-law
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  coming around to see me at one stage and my old of you know,
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  lovely home unit in now caught where I come from and on the
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  whole floor was covered in empty beacon and I had red wine as
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  there as well. And my sis, my dear
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  sister-in-law, she just didn't know what to do and she ran in
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  the ambulance and I ended up in the local hopsicle now.
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  So lots of people knew about how bad I was before I did.
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  Like I said, I was really naive. I was known for you about my
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  alcoholism. I didn't know I was alcoholic
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  doc, really. And I was saying at one stage I
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  was being a driving alcohol counsellor.
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  And I dive out from here and go straight down to the bottle shop
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  and and I remember my father being beacon.
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  He he and sick and cancer. He acne the do something because
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  I think the detox is a cup with horn and got home and just drank
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  again because there was no solution in a detox.
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  Just night. You go there to die out.
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  And and so my my father not sitting in secret cancer and he
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  helped me to do something more long term and he helped me.
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  She goes to rehab and so that was the start of what the heck.
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  And I ended up going to and now I remember saying to my family
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  and how long movies take and I said, oh, probably about six
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  months, you know, like I'll, I'll believe what they want.
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  About six months then. And I thought, how can I take 6
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  months? Then I'm a loss.
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  And I'd, I'd actually ruined the probably the last 1010 years of
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  my life anyway. And, and six months, you know,
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  seemed like a long time to make it start.
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  But then there was the start of a new loss.
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  And you know, I got to rehab and I stayed and I'll, I, you know,
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  that to me is a miracle. And I think it was only I didn't
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  want to go and that because my dad was ill, I thought, oh,
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  this, I need to die because I was my mum would do kind of look
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  after me. You know, she's got a sick
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  husband and she'll do kind of look after me, which is really
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  quiet tomorrow, I think. And so yes, I've threatened the
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  rehab and I think I've got till about 4 1/2 months up there.
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  And my dad did half away and on, you know, and I'm I'm lucky
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  enough to say that he actually did know that for the half month
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  over and that, you know, and that that would pressure to me
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  these days, because, you know, it was him that I that I went
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  there and and that but it was for me in the end.
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  I could see that made it. Thank goodness that you know, it
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  happened the way it did, because I don't know whether I would
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  would have got there otherwise. And I of dating the rehab and
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  they, they were able to let the album go to get, you know, and
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  now I'm so grateful that I was in a record because I had poorly
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  people around me. And some of those people, you
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  know, that was 15 years ago. And, and some of those people
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  are, are still very decent. They and two in particular.
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  And, you know, and I, I died at the rehab and I've died in that
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  program for over 12 months. And then I went on to the world
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  independent to to die in in housing because I was I wasn't
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  able to go back to the country camp where I came from, because
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  I knew that I would drink again, because I knew that I need a
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  court around me, although I probably didn't know at that
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  time. And but you know how I thought
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  the wonderful thing and and I know that I made a fellowship
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  around me. So are you lucky enough that I
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  stayed? And I know that today it was
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  something that, you know, look, I've found in a a that a higher
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  power has looked after me and has kept me here.
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  And you know that to my own devices, I would have run away.
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  I I'm a I'm a runner and I've had to get anything can for me
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  to be 15 years sober. I know there's something bigger
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  than me that's kidney here. And and you know, I mean that
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  they're the gifts of the body. But yeah, I stayed in that Lee
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  had burglary for 12 months and then to work independence and
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  then that no, no, look, when when I was in the rehab program,
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  you know, look, I was got I went to the halfway program and and
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  you know, the the counsellors at the rehab, they were no, I'll
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  say they were forcing me into getting a sponsor and calling me
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  to getting the fit work. And I know she gave that I
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  actually kind of love my life and at the time I wasn't really
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  interested and and that really when I wanted to run away, but
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  like I said, I knew that if I ran away, that's that I would
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  drink again. So so I did die and there's a
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  beard and and I did do what was suggested.
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  I was I was taking to a meeting this particular day that I felt
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  really unsettled. I was taking for amazing and and
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  I would introduce to this lady and she did update to her up and
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  golfed into getting a buncher and then golf and she's doing
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  paperwork and she teach me. You don't eat a buncher at this
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  stage and you just need somebody you dictate a friend and she
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  really helped her. She actually really helped my
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  animal and she's really gentle with me and we started reading
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  the big pot together and you know, I'm very grateful for that
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  person because she you know, not one of my favorite things in AI
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  was I always want the hand of AA to be there for that.
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  I'm a bunt boy. Nick's lady.
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  She could write a hand to me and I really needed her.
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  And what did they were called on this day?
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  So there's also according to this meeting and we and this
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  meeting till doing today, 15 years later, is my home broke
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  off just kept turning up and you know, this, this this lady, she
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  helped me and with God bring the big book together and she just
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  told you just told me things like never refuse.
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  And I I requite and, you know, just always be respectful.
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  A lot of people when I'm sitting in a meeting, you know, don't
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  get up and down and move around much or, you know, I guess the
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  expect to the perspective of speaking and you know, just
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  really stuff like that. And then and we started reading
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  the big book together and and because I was I was about 4 1/2
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  months by but I was really fuzzy in the head.
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  And so, and I bet you I'm not a good reader and I don't
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  comprehend that much. And and so she bought out the
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  old Dawn Charlie videos and we were of the blackboard and with
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  the dead one dead 1 circle about, you know, putting a teeth
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  bit of alcohol into you, into your system.
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  And it started up. The phenomena was craving and
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  and then forced to continue and and it just made thanks to me
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  after saying it written in bluff and blah.
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  It just made things that I was both exotic that I I realized,
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  well, was the reason why I'm an alcoholic.
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  And, you know, so excited that I wanted to tell everybody.
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  I wanted to explain it to my mum and my boss has been there and,
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  you know, and people just teach me.
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  They just don't understand and I know that they, they don't
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  understand all that. You know, my mum wouldn't and
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  you know, my brother's my but it did make go much into me and
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  made me lodge. Wow.
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  And and I and I thought it has got a bit of substance and, and,
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  and I stayed and I, I, I didn't say with that Lady for for long.
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  She just helped me and until I was able to to get a sponsor and
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  and and go through those sets and and you know, and make it
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  mean to like people could not like it is a family disease and
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  like the ripple effect with, you know, with my behaviour, my
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  behaviour, not losing cock. You know, my poor mum, she
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  blocked all facing me and and you know, I had to go in that
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  bag and start get into me in toolbot.
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  That's the ladies. And you know, like, like I said,
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  I've made made amine to a lot of that stuff and I keep making
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  amends and living amine to my family.
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  You know, I've got I've got good relationships with my family now
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  thanks to AI and you know, like I've had to grow up in AII
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  couldn't I had no living skills and you know, I've forgotten how
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  to get out of bed and have a shower and I cleaned the house
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  and you know, I I'd just forgotten how to do all that
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  stuff. The the bodies are so much more
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  important and, and I and I had to learn all that stuff in AI
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  and and that was the beauty of having a hind growth.
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  And though we each month we'd go out for dinner and the the
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  dinner was for for people to to man how to break to each other
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  and like they blood out in public.
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  Just amazing that, you know, like I'll, I'll book Eagle now
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  evil when I got here and and I had to learn all that, that now,
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  like I started drinking when I was probably 15 and and and I
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  and I think that was where my maturity docked, you know, like
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  an opposite. I had to I had to man all that
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  stuff again. And, you know, I remember I did
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  so much damage to my uncle and auntie and I stayed at their
• 18:41
  place and drank all their booze out of there, covered there.
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  And I look, you know, like I, I think it was just so
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  demoralizing and I'm just so glad that I don't to me, it's
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  like that anymore, you know, like I have a solution.
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  I, I live in a a today and I, I have respect for AI because AI
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  had given me so much and you know, like going to get and
• 19:05
  having a, an relationship with the hollow power that I, I cheat
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  to call God because it's convenient word, which, which
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  my, and I don't understand my God.
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  I just believe in it. So many things have happened
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  over the years and that he's just, there's just no other
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  reason. And I know it's God and that
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  Hoggle is the one that one of the biggest gifts.
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  Well, I need the biggest gifts because I wouldn't be sober
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  without it. And, and you know, my life, my
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  life completely changed. They off.
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  I have a, a job as I think that was a real gift to, you know,
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  like when I, when I got here, when I was in the layhead
• 19:47
  program, I had to do still volunteer work.
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  And I started in a, in a, in a middle job and in a little
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  coffee shop at a nursing home in North Adelaide and, and.
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  And then that turned into a little job.
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  I was working a few weekend shifts and in and then I was
• 20:13
  I'll be for a while. And then I got off for the dog
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  and with my cartoons, I had a big freaking bed shop and
• 20:20
  they're like asking me a new one.
• 20:22
  And well, I went and worked the bail and I was, I was there for
• 20:27
  quite a while and it got harder and harder because it wasn't,
• 20:31
  wasn't a very good venue. It was a brand new shop and not
• 20:35
  in the right box of that business.
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  And until they had to close their doors and I meant things
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  so devastated with them having to lose in this business.
• 20:45
  And I lost my job and, and I'm in the going to my Home group is
• 20:48
  such a killer night. The other women I'll drop just
• 20:51
  lost my job. And she knew that I didn't.
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  I wasn't particularly happy there and she did teach me
• 20:57
  that's fantastic. And I thought, oh wow, it is.
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  And it just opened doors and I'm always wanted to get into the
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  field of, of caring and support working and, and the I the shop
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  back on the Sunday and on the Monday I was booked into a fair
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  side course and the ball Jack rolled.
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  I ended up getting a job before I had done the trainings, but
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  the, the workplace subsidised the, the payments for the
• 21:30
  training. And then, you know, I was just
• 21:33
  off and running and I think I'll probably about five years over
• 21:40
  because I've been in the jobs for 10 years now and the job for
• 21:45
  me, you know, like I I work in the disability sector at the
• 21:49
  carer in in people crimes. And, you know, over the over the
• 21:55
  10 years that I've been doing it, you know, I've got a lot of
• 21:57
  change. But I'll tell you what to me,
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  and it's about being a server to other people.
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  And the a a had taught me that being a serviced and you know,
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  and that well, thank them at first, you know, and having this
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  phobia tour going is bang is the the others that talk on other
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  people. That's what I love about a a,
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  you know, talking to newcomers and, and being a service in a A
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  and then I take that to work is may and I be a service to other
• 22:26
  people. And while I'm being serviced to
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  other people, I, my little problems disappear, like lack of
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  neglect. And, you know, and I, and I and
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  the goal of that, I live a really good life, but I live in
• 22:42
  a very quiet life. I live by myself and, and, you
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  know, and I have a really big life and, you know, and I'll
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  turn up at my Home group every week and I've now I've got
• 22:55
  another Home group on online and you know, I love my meetings and
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  you know, I often get complacent and, and don't want to turn up
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  the meetings and, and, and, you know, get on my lols.
• 23:07
  And you know, like I'm I'm working for the steps at the
• 23:10
  moment. Again, there's no sponsor and
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  and you know, and I'm not that and it's getting with it and and
• 23:17
  I know I'm the one that's up and so so and do you like the wink
• 23:21
  in progress and you know, 15 years over and certainly have
• 23:24
  not got it thrown up and you know, one day at a time.
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  It is the mate and I keep pointing up and doing what I
• 23:30
  need to do and you know, like I'm in contact with lost
• 23:34
  monster, you know, at least once a week or more.
• 23:38
  And now in the beauty of having a Home group to that I found
• 23:44
  over the having running buddies and people that I could pick up
• 23:48
  the phone and talk to if I'm running a bit, laugh or, or I
• 23:51
  can see if they're running laugh.
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  And you know, like, if you if I see that somebody hasn't turned
• 23:58
  up at the meeting, I'll, I'll bring him and check on him.
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  And you know, and this stuff of meant in AI of, you know, like
• 24:09
  of Al Qaeda, it's me that needed to change to and I have and you
• 24:14
  know, and that, like I said, is it with the hezler's bond and
• 24:18
  going through the steps and having a high power, all these
• 24:21
  things work together for me. And you know, like I said
• 24:24
  before, I love talking to new cameras that the highlight of my
• 24:28
  day picking up the phone and talking to any and any other AI
• 24:33
  member. And yeah, that's our bot bot of
• 24:35
  the day. And no.
• 24:37
  And I and I really love that and I think I'll probably move it on
• 24:41
  any. You're doing well there and
• 24:44
  thanks very much. OK.
• 24:47
  Well, yes, I'll wrap it up there.
• 24:48
  Thank you, Bernard then and yeah, and thank you very much.
• 24:54
  Great year and thank you. We have local meetings for the
• 24:58
  full week in the local area. Monday is Gala meeting at 8:00.
• 25:04
  Tuesday is Elizabeth E at 8:00, Wednesday is Elizabeth E at
• 25:09
  8:00, Thursday is 2 Wells at 8:00 and Friday is Salisbury at
• 25:15
  8:00. There's a meeting at Devron Park
• 25:18
  at 12:00 and on Sunday there's a maintenance Salisbury at 7:00
• 25:23
  and many of the meetings in the area.
• 25:27
  For details of your local maintenance, please phone 1300
• 25:32
  double 22222. And once again, if anyone you
• 25:36
  know is struggling with alcohol issues, please call Alcoholics
• 25:39
  Anonymous on 1300 double 22222. The website isaasa.org dot AU.