Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / 250. Liz Hernandez, Founder of WORDAFUL

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250. Liz Hernandez, Founder of WORDAFUL · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

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Speaker 1: When I release my insecurities, no matter how large or small,
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Speaker 1: I remember who I am. I feel secure that I
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Speaker 1: am good enough and smart enough.
0:24
Speaker 2: What's going on? Everyone, Emily A body here.
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Speaker 3: You are listening to episode two hundred and fifty of Hurdle,
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Speaker 3: a wellness focused podcast. Reconnect with everyone from your favorite
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Speaker 3: athletes to top experts and industry CEOs about their highest highs,
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Speaker 3: toughest moments, and everything in between. We all go through
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Speaker 3: hurdles in life, and my goal through these discussions is
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Speaker 3: to empower you to better navigate yours and move with
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Speaker 3: intention so that you can stride towards your own big
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Speaker 3: potential and of course, have some fun along the way.
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Speaker 3: For today's episode, I am chatting with Liz Herz. She
1:01
Speaker 3: is the creator of Wordiful, which is a video and
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Speaker 3: live event series that focuses on the importance of how
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Speaker 3: we communicate with ourselves and others. Plus, you can also
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Speaker 3: find some goodies from Wordiful, like their card game which
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Speaker 3: is wildly popular, as well as affirmation cards and the newest.
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Speaker 2: Release, a Wordiful Journal.
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Speaker 3: Liz herself is a former radio host and entertainment reporter
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Speaker 3: for Access Hollywood, and in today's episode, she talks about
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Speaker 3: the major life events, including the unfortunate loss of her mother,
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Speaker 3: which encouraged her to make a major pivot. In today's episode,
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Speaker 3: Liz talks to us about the major asque that she
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Speaker 3: made to get wordiful truly off the ground, totally one
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Speaker 3: of those if you don't go for it, you'll never
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Speaker 3: know moments that's going to inspire you to step outside
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Speaker 3: of your comfort zone asap. We also talk a lot
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Speaker 3: about grief and lessons that we can learn from grief,
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Speaker 3: and the science behind affirmations why repeating things, especially powerful
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Speaker 3: words and phrases to ourselves can really.
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Speaker 2: Make a major impact.
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Speaker 3: Make sure, if you're not doing so just yet, you're
2:18
Speaker 3: following along with Hurdle over on social It's over at
2:20
Speaker 3: Hurdle Podcast. I am over at Emily a body and
2:24
Speaker 3: if you've got a question on your mind, I want
2:27
Speaker 3: to answer it in an upcoming episode. Hit the show
2:30
Speaker 3: notes and click the link to leave me a voice message.
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Speaker 2: I can't wait to see what you got.
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Speaker 3: Also, a last little bit of housekeeping, I added a
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Speaker 3: few more sweatshirts into the merch section on the Hurdle website,
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Speaker 3: so if you get in there fast, you may be
2:47
Speaker 3: able to snaggle on for yourself. I promise there is
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Speaker 3: more merch coming soon, so stay tuned.
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Speaker 2: And with that, let's get to it.
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Speaker 3: Let's get to hurdling.
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Speaker 2: Today.
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Speaker 3: I am sitting down with Liz Hernandez. She's the creator
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Speaker 3: of Wordiful. How are you doing today, Liz?
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Speaker 2: I'm good, Emily, how are you so good?
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Speaker 3: I'm so happy that we're finally able to make this happen.
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Speaker 3: I feel as though knowing you and knowing wordiful, got
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Speaker 3: to ask you how you're doing.
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Speaker 1: Really, you know, it's nice to be able to say
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Speaker 1: that I'm in a really good place. I've been doing
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Speaker 1: a lot of the work, and I know that means
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Speaker 1: a lot of things, a lot of different things to everyone,
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Speaker 1: But you know, I took this past weekend to do
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Speaker 1: a digital detox, a lot of meditation, a lot of
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Speaker 1: just being with myself, and I will say, you know,
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Speaker 1: there's a reason why people tell us it really does work.
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Speaker 1: It helped neutralize my emotions, so I wasn't being impacted
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Speaker 1: by a lot of external elements. My emotions weren't up
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Speaker 1: and down. I could let my judge rest and I
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Speaker 1: feel really good. It was a nice way to start
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Speaker 1: my week. And I'm still in that space.
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Speaker 3: I love that I could let my judge rest what
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Speaker 3: a phrase.
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Speaker 4: Well, think about it.
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Speaker 1: Every time we get on social media, we become the judge, right.
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Speaker 1: We say this is good, this is bad, this makes
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Speaker 1: me happy, this makes me angry, this makes me We
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Speaker 1: have a thought about everything, and every thought we have
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Speaker 1: is either impacting us positively or negatively. And stepping away
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Speaker 1: from it, I realized how much more neutral I am,
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Speaker 1: how much more in control I am of what I
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Speaker 1: want to give my attention to.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, and what beautiful awareness that is right knowing what
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Speaker 3: positively and negatively impacts you and taking the time to
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Speaker 3: do that inner audit something that you do regularly.
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Speaker 1: I just started. And I think this was the first
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Speaker 1: time I've stepped away from social media in such a
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Speaker 1: deliberate way. And I now having been out of it.
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Speaker 1: And when I say I stepped away from social media,
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Speaker 1: I also stepped away from being on the phone, no
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Speaker 1: text messaging, really deliberate of my phone, just being completely
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Speaker 1: away from me. And what I also discovered was we
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Speaker 1: go in searching for something, whether it's someone to validate
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Speaker 1: our mood that day, whether if we're already feeling victimized.
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Speaker 1: We're like someone's gonna post something that's gonna make me right,
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Speaker 1: or we feel triggered when someone makes us wrong. So
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Speaker 1: just being able to sit with myself and look at
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Speaker 1: what am I feeling today really and how can I
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Speaker 1: comfort myself as opposed to looking for validation or looking
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Speaker 1: for someone else to enhance that emotion.
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Speaker 4: So, yeah, that was it.
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Speaker 2: That was it.
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Speaker 3: You know, it's really interesting also recognizing that I'm looking
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Speaker 3: for something when I'm picking up my device right, and
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Speaker 3: that's something is either something that you know, like you're
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Speaker 3: seeking like oh I need to check the forecast, or
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Speaker 3: also it can be as you noted, unconscious. So knowing
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Speaker 3: that both can exist and having that awareness is super interesting. Yeah,
6:31
Speaker 3: before we keep ongoing, obviously at the top of this
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Speaker 3: I mentioned wordiful. Why don't you tell the people that
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Speaker 3: don't know what it is all about?
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Speaker 2: What it is?
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Speaker 4: In a nutshell?
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Speaker 1: Wordiful focuses on the power of words and storytelling and
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Speaker 1: how we connect through sharing our stories with one another,
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Speaker 1: and we do this by focusing on one word at
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Speaker 1: a time. So Worderful is an online video series. Our
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Speaker 1: main hub is through wordaful dot com, Instagram, and it's
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Speaker 1: usually myself or I love to bring in a guest
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Speaker 1: to share their one word and how that word has
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Speaker 1: impacted them, what they're learning from that word, maybe how
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Speaker 1: they were misusing that word, myself included. But it's really
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Speaker 1: just about connection and being able to see ourselves at
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Speaker 1: each other's stories.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so beautiful.
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Speaker 3: Now, obviously storytelling something that's been a passion of yours
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Speaker 3: for some time. Give us some background about when storytelling
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Speaker 3: started to become really important to you.
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Speaker 1: I mean, it's whether I knew it or not, it's
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Speaker 1: always been in my DNA. As far as how much
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Speaker 1: I've I've just enjoyed it and it makes me come alive.
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Speaker 1: And so I started radio when I was eighteen years old,
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Speaker 1: and I was really lucky. I'll give you the fast rendition.
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Speaker 1: I started doing morning radio in LA when I was
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Speaker 1: twenty two twenty three, So in two thousand and there
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Speaker 1: was this beautiful connection that happened with at least my
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Speaker 1: experience with myself in the city of Los Angeles. This
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Speaker 1: is before Instagram and Twitter. This is I think right
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Speaker 1: when MySpace was starting to take off, So there was
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Speaker 1: no real seeing what's going on in other people's lives
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Speaker 1: other than the stories you're telling on radio, and you're
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Speaker 1: connecting people to what happened at the Laker game, what
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Speaker 1: happened in your life, and it was really beautiful just
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Speaker 1: to see the phones light up and other people share
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Speaker 1: their similar experiences. And so in my career of entertainment,
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Speaker 1: that took me then to television, and when I landed
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Speaker 1: in primetime television at Access Hollywood in two thousand thirteen
8:47
Speaker 1: or fourteen, my mother was diagnosed. Gosh, it might have
8:50
Speaker 1: been earlier than that, twenty twelve. Maybe my mother was
8:52
Speaker 1: diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Well, it was dementia, but Alzheimer's is
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Speaker 1: what it would manifest into. And my mother began to
9:03
Speaker 1: lose her words.
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Speaker 4: And my.
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Speaker 1: Mom was such a cheerleader in my life. I say
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Speaker 1: she was like the iPhone plug where she gave me
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Speaker 1: that charge and that juice to just remind me that
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Speaker 1: I was loved and that I had what it took
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Speaker 1: to do anything I wanted to do. She was really
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Speaker 1: that positive influence in my life. And so when her
9:29
Speaker 1: words started to diminish, I realized that I would then
9:33
Speaker 1: have to step up and learn to mother myself in
9:36
Speaker 1: that way and be powerful with my own words. Again,
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Speaker 1: this didn't happen overnight. It was a long process that
9:41
Speaker 1: I had to learn all of this. But with that,
9:45
Speaker 1: as I was on the stage in Access Hollywood and
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Speaker 1: doing entertainment news, I thought, oh my god, what is
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Speaker 1: my message out into the world. It can't just be
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Speaker 1: what Britney Spears had for breakfast. There has to be
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Speaker 1: more to it. And so I decided I was going
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Speaker 1: to flip on a camera and do these sixty second
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Speaker 1: little vignette videos and upload them to YouTube and just
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Speaker 1: start talking about the power of words. And these videos
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Speaker 1: and this space became my diary, my journal, my confessional.
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Speaker 1: It was just a place to really open up and
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Speaker 1: express myself in a way that I was craving and
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Speaker 1: I think other people were craving that as well, because
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Speaker 1: then a community started to build and it has now
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Speaker 1: blossomed into wordful.
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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, thank you for sharing that story. How did
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Speaker 2: you continue.
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Speaker 3: To show up at your day job navigating all the
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Speaker 3: emotions that went hand in hand with your mother's diagnosis.
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Speaker 1: It wasn't pretty. It was a lot of.
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Speaker 4: It was an emotional role coaster.
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Speaker 1: There were moments where I'd be sitting in hair and
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Speaker 1: makeup and cry my entire face off because there I
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Speaker 1: didn't have anyone in my life who had been through
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Speaker 1: what I was going through, so there was no blue
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Speaker 1: There was no blueprint for how do you deal with
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Speaker 1: losing your mother. Whilst it wasn't like my mother had
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Speaker 1: cancer where I could talk to her about her illness,
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Speaker 1: my mother was mentally disappearing her memory. When you lose
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Speaker 1: your memories, you lose the blue the fingerprint of who
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Speaker 1: you are. You know, there were days where she didn't
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Speaker 1: even know me, so you're grieving. It felt like I
11:44
Speaker 1: was going to small funerals every time I saw her.
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Speaker 1: There was a part of me that was having to
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Speaker 1: let her go. And then you have to go back
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Speaker 1: into your professional setting and put on a dress and
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Speaker 1: spanks and hills and makeup and hair and act like
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Speaker 1: you're the happy person who's bringing the news to the world.
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Speaker 1: And it was such a duality in my world where
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Speaker 1: I was so happy and proud to be standing on
12:14
Speaker 1: a stage to represent, especially for other Latinas and Latinos,
12:18
Speaker 1: that we belong here. And I've worked really hard in
12:22
Speaker 1: my career to make it this far. But the actual
12:27
Speaker 1: you know, I think what I learned is that when
12:31
Speaker 1: people say it really is the journey, because sometimes you
12:33
Speaker 1: get to the destination and you're like, this isn't actually
12:36
Speaker 1: what makes me happy. I was proud that I made
12:40
Speaker 1: it that far, but it wasn't what I wanted to
12:43
Speaker 1: do with the rest of my life, especially when the
12:46
Speaker 1: person I loved the most was dying. And yeah, it
12:52
Speaker 1: was a balancing act constantly. It was I'm really appreciative
12:57
Speaker 1: to be here, but so sad and grieving in this
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Speaker 1: moment that I'm losing my mother. And there were moments
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Speaker 1: I had to walk off stage and just can I
13:10
Speaker 1: get five minutes just so I could keep it together.
13:13
Speaker 1: There were moments where I completely lost it, where you
13:16
Speaker 1: just you can't keep it together, and that's part of
13:19
Speaker 1: being human. And I think, looking back now, it's like, gosh,
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Speaker 1: I wish I could have given myself so much more
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Speaker 1: compassion for the daughter that was grieving.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, wow, again, thank you for sharing that.
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Speaker 3: And it's so understandable, right, that emotion that comes with
13:37
Speaker 3: that feeling as though you're attending a funeral regularly. That's
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Speaker 3: not something that anyone wants to go through, especially on
13:44
Speaker 3: any sort of a public stage, right, So for you
13:48
Speaker 3: to be able to endure that and still show up
13:51
Speaker 3: for yourself or at least for the job. And the
13:54
Speaker 3: capacity is truly it's impressive and it's beautiful. Now during
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Speaker 3: this time is Liz taking care of Liz.
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Speaker 1: So what I know we started the conversation where I
14:07
Speaker 1: mentioned that I'm doing the work, and part of that
14:10
Speaker 1: work for me is really tapping in. And I've heard
14:16
Speaker 1: it so many times people say, oh, you have to
14:19
Speaker 1: take care of your inner child, and I really I
14:23
Speaker 1: understood it, but I didn't really get it till now.
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Speaker 1: And part of my daily practice is checking in with
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Speaker 1: my inner child, that little girl that does feel scared,
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Speaker 1: that is sad that she lost her mother, and saying, okay,
14:38
Speaker 1: I take it from here, and what does she need,
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Speaker 1: the little Liz inside of me, What does she need
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Speaker 1: today to feel safe, to feel seen, to feel empowered,
14:48
Speaker 1: to know that no matter what, I have her back,
14:51
Speaker 1: that I'm now the caregiver, that I'm going to mother her.
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Speaker 1: And so it's taking all of the beautiful things that
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Speaker 1: I've learned in this lifetime and now being able to
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Speaker 1: apply it to my scared little girl who isn't so
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Speaker 1: scared anymore, which is nice because she feels safe.
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Speaker 3: Well, yeah, I was gonna say, tell me about that,
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Speaker 3: tell me about what it feels like now to not
15:14
Speaker 3: feel as scared anymore. Despite I know we haven't covered
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Speaker 3: this yet, but the loss of your mother.
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Speaker 1: You know, when I remember it was probably the day
15:23
Speaker 1: before she died, I felt like I couldn't catch my breath.
15:28
Speaker 1: It was like there were it was kind of leading
15:31
Speaker 1: up to it, and I knew it was coming, and
15:35
Speaker 1: it felt like the best way I can explain it,
15:38
Speaker 1: as if it's as if someone has taken you into space,
15:42
Speaker 1: and you know how, you're in the space suit and
15:45
Speaker 1: there's that cord that connects you to the spaceship. It
15:48
Speaker 1: felt like someone cut it and now I'm just drifting
15:51
Speaker 1: in space. I'm out in the abyss, and I'm not
15:54
Speaker 1: ever going to come back, and I have no idea
15:56
Speaker 1: what is going to happen. That's truly what it felt like.
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Speaker 1: And luckily I have such beautiful mentors in my life
16:05
Speaker 1: that reminded me because I felt And the reason I
16:08
Speaker 1: felt like that is because I felt a huge sense
16:10
Speaker 1: of abandonment. The person I love the most is no
16:14
Speaker 1: longer going to be here, So what does that mean?
16:17
Speaker 4: For me.
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Speaker 1: And what I realized, thank God for some really beautiful
16:24
Speaker 1: people in my life. My mentor had told me, I
16:28
Speaker 1: now need to learn to mother myself because what really
16:32
Speaker 1: causes what's really causing me pain was me abandoning me.
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Speaker 3: Wow, but that's really powerful, right, because abandoning it's like
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Speaker 3: you had so long to come to an understanding of
16:43
Speaker 3: what life could be like without your mother, but then
16:46
Speaker 3: when you finally met in this situation where you do
16:50
Speaker 3: have to take care of yourself, ignoring how you feel
16:53
Speaker 3: is like something that we're all so guilty of. But
16:56
Speaker 3: if you don't come to terms with the fact that
16:58
Speaker 3: that's what's happening, and you're going to be just stuck
17:01
Speaker 3: in this constant cycle of anger and sadness and gosh,
17:05
Speaker 3: so many emotions.
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Speaker 1: Right, And it's really easy. And when we're feeling that
17:09
Speaker 1: way then to give our power away and say, Okay,
17:12
Speaker 1: who's the next person I can cling onto that's going
17:16
Speaker 1: to make me feel safe as opposed to making myself
17:19
Speaker 1: feel safe.
17:20
Speaker 2: So who did you cling on too?
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Speaker 1: I think you know, while my mom was in transition,
17:29
Speaker 1: when she started on hospice, I was trying to backpedal
17:33
Speaker 1: into my last relationship. It was like I knew it
17:37
Speaker 1: was right to break up, and then as soon as
17:42
Speaker 1: I lost that relationship, I was like, oh, what did
17:45
Speaker 1: I do?
17:46
Speaker 4: I'm on my own.
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Speaker 1: I feel this and I went back when I knew
17:50
Speaker 1: it it wasn't the right thing to try to go back.
17:53
Speaker 1: And so once my mother died, I think that I
17:59
Speaker 1: had under already understood that and I felt supported enough
18:04
Speaker 1: to where I wasn't trying to cling on to anyone.
18:08
Speaker 1: I was just trying to understand what it now meant
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Speaker 1: to be without a mother.
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Speaker 2: Yeah.
18:15
Speaker 3: Yeah, So let's talk about what happens for you when
18:19
Speaker 3: you leave Access Hollywood. How does that feel for you
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Speaker 3: at first?
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Speaker 1: You know, I think I had been mentally preparing myself
18:33
Speaker 1: for months. I had been like mentally lining up my ducks.
18:38
Speaker 1: And when I just remember my last day there and
18:42
Speaker 1: driving off, I always say like it felt like I
18:44
Speaker 1: was driving off like a college campus, like when you graduate,
18:48
Speaker 1: and I'll never forget I drove off the lot and
18:52
Speaker 1: I think John Mayer, I don't know if it was
18:57
Speaker 1: one of his happy songs, something about the world's at
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Speaker 1: a better place.
19:01
Speaker 2: Or I don't on the world to change, Yes, waiting.
19:04
Speaker 4: On thank you.
19:05
Speaker 1: That song was playing, and I drove off campus. I
19:08
Speaker 1: drove off the lot, and I had never felt so
19:11
Speaker 1: free for a lot of different reasons, one being that
19:16
Speaker 1: now I had the liberty to be with my mother
19:19
Speaker 1: and I could be with her every day, and time
19:23
Speaker 1: was of the essence. There was a sense of urgency,
19:27
Speaker 1: and I had also freed myself from something that I
19:32
Speaker 1: was not. I was never the girl that was supposed
19:35
Speaker 1: to be in the high heels and the tight drift.
19:37
Speaker 1: I grew up a tomboy. I love storytelling. I love
19:42
Speaker 1: meeting new people and hearing their stories. I love community
19:46
Speaker 1: and what I realized in television, and you know, I'm
19:50
Speaker 1: so grateful. This is never about I had a horrible
19:53
Speaker 1: experience or I don't like that situation. You know, that institute,
19:57
Speaker 1: it was just about a learning It was it was schooling.
20:01
Speaker 1: And what I thrive off of is community and storytelling.
20:06
Speaker 1: And when I was on that stage in television, I
20:09
Speaker 1: was looking into a teleprompter with words scrolling up, and
20:12
Speaker 1: you're like looking into a dark black hole and there's
20:15
Speaker 1: no one there to talk back to you. It just
20:20
Speaker 1: goes out. And there was in what I was saying
20:23
Speaker 1: had no value in my opinion, like I'm going to
20:27
Speaker 1: talk about someone's divorce or someone's million dollar mansion, and
20:31
Speaker 1: what what am I doing to serve the community in
20:34
Speaker 1: that way or the person I'm talking about or myself?
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Speaker 2: Right, So much power in that realization, truly.
20:41
Speaker 3: So it's during this time as well that you start
20:44
Speaker 3: to concept then understandably, so what's next?
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Speaker 1: Yeah, I just took a leap of faith of you know,
20:53
Speaker 1: word a ful had already started to really have some
20:57
Speaker 1: momentum and have its legs, and I thought, Okay, now
21:01
Speaker 1: is the opportunity for me to really breathe my whole
21:05
Speaker 1: self into this brand that I believe in. And I
21:09
Speaker 1: had no idea, emily what was going to happen with it.
21:12
Speaker 4: None.
21:13
Speaker 1: And I was really fortunate that I had so many
21:16
Speaker 1: people that supported me and that believed in it as well,
21:19
Speaker 1: and that also craved being seen and craved community.
21:24
Speaker 4: That it worked.
21:26
Speaker 3: So in the early stages, what did it working look like?
21:33
Speaker 1: I have to say, you know, there was a lot
21:36
Speaker 1: of beautiful, serendipitous moments. There was a lot of again,
21:43
Speaker 1: a lot of support. I was really fortunate. So when
21:47
Speaker 1: I say it just worked, I remember one of my
21:51
Speaker 1: last interviews at Access Hollywood, and I already knew I
21:55
Speaker 1: was leaving, but nobody else did. And I had one
21:58
Speaker 1: of my last interviews was was with Oprah, and I
22:01
Speaker 1: just kept thinking, if I could just.
22:03
Speaker 4: Go work for the own network, that would be ideal.
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Speaker 1: Like that's where I That's the type of storytelling I
22:08
Speaker 1: want to do.
22:09
Speaker 4: That's the kind of energy I want in my career.
22:14
Speaker 1: And one of my last interviews was with her, and
22:18
Speaker 1: I asked her if I could show her a wordaful
22:20
Speaker 1: episode and she said yes, and I showed her the
22:23
Speaker 1: word thankful and we had a really lovely conversation and
22:27
Speaker 1: we started talking about ed Cart totally and she says,
22:29
Speaker 1: you know, I always tell my girls that Edgar said.
22:32
Speaker 1: Edgart says, if you could only say one prayer, let
22:35
Speaker 1: it be thank you. And we just had this incredible
22:38
Speaker 1: exchange and my producer was so kind shout out to Lee.
22:43
Speaker 4: She ended up.
22:44
Speaker 1: I asked her, I said, can you do a They
22:46
Speaker 1: had followed up with her. They said, oh, Oprah had
22:48
Speaker 1: a great interview with Liz. We're really appreciative. And I said,
22:50
Speaker 1: can you reply and just ask them if I can
22:52
Speaker 1: take a meeting and they said yes, and I took
22:55
Speaker 1: a meeting and within six months, Wordaful was on the
22:58
Speaker 1: own network and that was just a dream come true.
23:03
Speaker 1: But as another thing that had happened as well was
23:07
Speaker 1: my first event. So I was doing live events. And
23:12
Speaker 1: these live events, like three hundred people would show up
23:14
Speaker 1: and it was just a way again to connect and
23:17
Speaker 1: have community and share our stories. And when my mother
23:21
Speaker 1: was first diagnosed with Alzheimer's, I knew Catherine Schwarzenegger and
23:28
Speaker 1: she had come to eat. I had worked at E
23:30
Speaker 1: News a few times and we had a mutual friend,
23:32
Speaker 1: and so our mutual friend had told her, you know,
23:35
Speaker 1: what was happening in my life. And Maria Shriver one
23:39
Speaker 1: day just sends me an email and I'm like, oh
23:41
Speaker 1: my god, Maria Shriver's emailing me, like what is happening
23:46
Speaker 1: right now? And she was so lovely. We jumped on
23:49
Speaker 1: the phone and her father passed away from Alzheimer's, and
23:54
Speaker 1: she said, I want you to be an advocate. You
23:57
Speaker 1: need to turn your pain into purpose. Because my mother
24:00
Speaker 1: was really private and I didn't know if I wanted
24:03
Speaker 1: to share her story. I wanted to honor who my
24:05
Speaker 1: mother was. At the same time, I understood what Maria
24:10
Speaker 1: was saying to me, some other daughter is going to
24:13
Speaker 1: go through the same pain if I don't talk about
24:17
Speaker 1: what the warning signs are, if I don't use my
24:21
Speaker 1: voice to not let my pain and my mother's pain
24:25
Speaker 1: and her journey go in vain. So I say all
24:28
Speaker 1: of that to say when I left Access and took
24:31
Speaker 1: on Worderful full time, my first event was with Maria
24:34
Speaker 1: Shreiver and it was just beautiful and it kind of
24:37
Speaker 1: set the momentum for my company going forward.
24:40
Speaker 3: So what would happen at these events?
24:45
Speaker 1: So every event is very different. The one with Maria
24:49
Speaker 1: she was releasing.
24:51
Speaker 4: Her book, which I have somewhere behind me, but and
24:54
Speaker 4: it was great.
24:55
Speaker 1: We had a conversation about this book that was very
24:57
Speaker 1: personal to her, and we also just talked about life.
25:02
Speaker 1: You know, these events are very personal. It's really about
25:05
Speaker 1: again talking about things that we've been through, challenges, heartaches, victories, losses.
25:14
Speaker 1: I always say, as human beings, there's only so there's
25:17
Speaker 1: only so many emotions that we can go through, right,
25:20
Speaker 1: and no one's exempt You feel joy, I feel joy,
25:24
Speaker 1: I feel sadness. You feel sadness, you feel heartache. I
25:26
Speaker 1: felt heartache. And so these are just a collection of
25:30
Speaker 1: us sharing all of these stories so that we feel
25:33
Speaker 1: less alone in the journey.
25:35
Speaker 3: Yeah, and so when you stepped outside of your comfort
25:39
Speaker 3: zone and started to share about your mother's story, how
25:43
Speaker 3: did that make you feel?
25:46
Speaker 1: First, it was really vulnerable. Like I said, there was
25:49
Speaker 1: a part of me that again, my mother was extremely
25:54
Speaker 1: private person, so I had to get over the idea
25:59
Speaker 1: that I would betraying her and the guilt of not
26:04
Speaker 1: honoring her. But the more I spoke up about it,
26:09
Speaker 1: the more I saw other people step forward and say,
26:13
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I think maybe this is what my
26:16
Speaker 1: parent might have or yeah, my mother's done that, maybe
26:20
Speaker 1: it's time to get her tested, or other people that
26:23
Speaker 1: had already been on the journey. And what I found
26:26
Speaker 1: to be so beautiful was when I did my first
26:29
Speaker 1: Alzheimer's walk. There were so many people that had stories
26:34
Speaker 1: similar to mine, and I felt so much less alone,
26:37
Speaker 1: Like when they were like my mother used to do
26:39
Speaker 1: this thing where she would hide the spoon. She would
26:43
Speaker 1: gather all the spoons, as many spoons as she would
26:45
Speaker 1: hide them in the closet. And when someone said, oh,
26:48
Speaker 1: my mother hides the forks, I just started crying because
26:51
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, you get it, you get it,
26:55
Speaker 1: and again there's something so beautiful even in the pain
27:00
Speaker 1: of having those things in common.
27:06
Speaker 3: Taking a break from today's episode to give some love
27:09
Speaker 3: to my sponsor at Elements. Element is the maker of
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Speaker 3: To stay properly hydrated, you need to consume adequate electrolytes too,
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Speaker 3: and that's because they help their nerve impulses, fire regulate fluid, balance,
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Speaker 3: One of my first long bike rides of the beautiful
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27:55
Speaker 3: getting my bike ready, the first thing I thought to
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Speaker 3: free sample pack of all of the flavors today. Let's
28:38
Speaker 3: get back to it, to dial back to kind of
28:49
Speaker 3: removing yourself from your comfort zone, going out of your
28:51
Speaker 3: way to ask Oprah and the team for another meeting.
28:55
Speaker 3: For anyone else who may have an idea like you did,
28:58
Speaker 3: what advice do you have to for them when it
29:00
Speaker 3: comes to getting that idea off the ground.
29:05
Speaker 4: Just you just you just got to take action. You know.
29:10
Speaker 1: I think what can stop us, especially as women, is
29:14
Speaker 1: we doubt ourselves a lot. We have the skill set,
29:17
Speaker 1: we have the passion, we have the drive, we have
29:19
Speaker 1: the good ideas, but we a lot we give so
29:23
Speaker 1: much more energy to self doubt, into the inner critic
29:27
Speaker 1: and negative self talk and you know, the what ifs,
29:31
Speaker 1: and you just got to do it.
29:33
Speaker 4: You just got to do.
29:34
Speaker 1: It because even if it if, even if it fails,
29:38
Speaker 1: that's still information. I don't believe there is actual failure.
29:42
Speaker 1: I believe failure is just information for what we can
29:45
Speaker 1: do better the next time.
29:47
Speaker 3: For the person who hears that and then struggles with
29:51
Speaker 3: getting over that inner critic, with beating that negative self doubt,
29:55
Speaker 3: that negative self talk, what advice do you have for
29:59
Speaker 3: them to be able to get over that hurdle.
30:02
Speaker 1: Affirmations, affirmations, journaling, I think that is, and getting quiet
30:08
Speaker 1: with yourself so you can actually be the observer to
30:12
Speaker 1: how critical we can be sometimes just sitting and watching
30:16
Speaker 1: that inner voice of knowing, Okay, what's going on here?
30:21
Speaker 1: Why am I being so critical of myself? And you know,
30:23
Speaker 1: one of the things I had to really learn is
30:27
Speaker 1: usually how we handle ourselves is how a parent handled us. Right,
30:33
Speaker 1: So if you had a critical parent, we tend to
30:35
Speaker 1: be critical of ourselves. Like my mom was both loving
30:38
Speaker 1: and she was very strict and hard on me. So
30:41
Speaker 1: I have to realize that while I can be very
30:44
Speaker 1: loving with myself, I also can be very strict and
30:48
Speaker 1: hard on myself and very rigid. And it's in that
30:52
Speaker 1: realization that I have to say, Okay, it's time to
30:56
Speaker 1: mother live.
30:58
Speaker 4: And I do that.
30:59
Speaker 1: Through repeating affirmations. You know, Repetition is the fastest way
31:03
Speaker 1: to train the brain. And when I that was one
31:06
Speaker 1: of the tools I used when I was at Access Hollywood.
31:08
Speaker 1: Every day in my dressing room, I would write out
31:11
Speaker 1: one affirmation ten times and I would take it with
31:14
Speaker 1: me throughout the day and I would just anytime I
31:16
Speaker 1: felt uncomfortable, I felt sad, I felt stuck, I would
31:20
Speaker 1: repeat it and repeat it and repeat it. And that's
31:23
Speaker 1: literally what gave me the courage to then create my
31:27
Speaker 1: own affirmations.
31:27
Speaker 2: For wordful hit me with some example affirmations.
31:32
Speaker 4: Oh, I got them right here. What do you want?
31:35
Speaker 4: What do you want?
31:36
Speaker 2: You tell me? You tell me, I'm.
31:38
Speaker 4: Going to give you secure.
31:40
Speaker 1: So when I release my insecurities, no matter how large
31:44
Speaker 1: or small, I remember who I am. I feel secure
31:48
Speaker 1: that I am good enough and smart enough.
31:52
Speaker 4: Read another, We're going to do the word release.
31:55
Speaker 1: I release old thought patterns and habits that no longer
31:59
Speaker 1: serve me. I let go of the need to replace situations.
32:03
Speaker 4: In my mind. The past has no power over me.
32:07
Speaker 2: The past has no power over me.
32:10
Speaker 3: Oftentimes we hear about affirmations, and some of them can
32:14
Speaker 3: be dramatically aspirational, and others, like the two that you
32:19
Speaker 3: just listed for me, anyway, they definitely read a lot
32:23
Speaker 3: more realistic, obtainable, something that I can truly say to myself,
32:27
Speaker 3: and it can be something that I bring with me.
32:30
Speaker 3: As you mentioned you did throughout the day. Have you
32:33
Speaker 3: gone through times in your life where one of those
32:37
Speaker 3: two categories has worked better than the other.
32:41
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure. You know, I don't think there's any
32:44
Speaker 1: right or wrong way to do to do life. I
32:47
Speaker 1: think you have to do what works best for you.
32:49
Speaker 1: The mantra I always go back to is life is
32:53
Speaker 1: happening for me, not to me. And even in the
32:57
Speaker 1: toughest situations, I truly believe that something there for me
33:01
Speaker 1: to learn. And if I'm willing to see the positive,
33:04
Speaker 1: even in a really horrible situation and a really negative situation,
33:09
Speaker 1: if I can find that one positive, then that one
33:12
Speaker 1: positive is the seed for my growth and for me
33:15
Speaker 1: to learn.
33:16
Speaker 3: So yeah, yeah, now you just reached back for that
33:22
Speaker 3: deck of affirmations. When did the deck of affirmations and
33:25
Speaker 3: some of the other products that word aful makes now
33:29
Speaker 3: come into the picture.
33:31
Speaker 1: Because affirmations were such a huge part of my grounding
33:37
Speaker 1: every day when I was in television, I just thought,
33:40
Speaker 1: you know, I always give credit to Louise Hay, who
33:43
Speaker 1: is Queen of Affirmations. I was using her deck and
33:46
Speaker 1: they felt very long, and they felt a little like
33:52
Speaker 1: I honored them. But those were her words, and I
33:56
Speaker 1: wanted affirmations that were my words that felt true for me,
33:59
Speaker 1: if that made sense. And once Wordaful got going, it
34:04
Speaker 1: was like it wasn't a matter of if, it was
34:06
Speaker 1: just when when I was going to sit down and
34:09
Speaker 1: do this project. And then during the pandemic and journaling too,
34:14
Speaker 1: we created a Wordaful journal that was really the first
34:17
Speaker 1: tool that I ever had. I've I've been gratitude journaling
34:20
Speaker 1: for eighteen years and it really you know, you hear
34:25
Speaker 1: all these benefits to gratitude journaling, but when it really
34:28
Speaker 1: hit me was when I was in my darkest hour
34:32
Speaker 1: and I had just finished. I was standing in the
34:35
Speaker 1: shower and you know, the water's coming over my head.
34:38
Speaker 1: This is when my mother had started on hospice, My
34:41
Speaker 1: relationship was over. I had just taken on wordaful. It
34:44
Speaker 1: felt like a lot of pressure and I turned the
34:47
Speaker 1: water off and I just literally buckled over and did
34:51
Speaker 1: the ugly cry, and I was just so devastated. The
34:56
Speaker 1: person I love isn't here my mother's dying. There goes
35:00
Speaker 1: my insurance and my secure paycheck. What am I doing?
35:04
Speaker 1: And then Emily, it just sounded like a file downloading
35:08
Speaker 1: like and it was like, You're grateful that you've had
35:13
Speaker 1: a mother who loved you and you've had her for
35:15
Speaker 1: seventy three years. You're grateful that you had a relationship
35:19
Speaker 1: and someone showed up to love you. You're grateful that
35:22
Speaker 1: you're crying in a shower that has hot water. You're
35:25
Speaker 1: grateful to be standing in your home. You're grateful all
35:28
Speaker 1: these things. And it was showing me that those at
35:32
Speaker 1: the time fifteen years of gratitude journaling, it had the
35:35
Speaker 1: rubber band effect. It let me bounce back instead of
35:40
Speaker 1: bathing in the negativity. All of a sudden, my brain
35:43
Speaker 1: was like, Nope, We've worked this muscle and I'm not
35:47
Speaker 1: going to let you stay there. We're going to bounce
35:49
Speaker 1: back faster. So gratitude journaling for me is that bounce back.
35:53
Speaker 1: It's that even when you get a flat tire on
35:57
Speaker 1: the side of the road in the middle of four
36:00
Speaker 1: or five in traffic, you can say, but you know what,
36:03
Speaker 1: I've got triple a thank God that I was able
36:06
Speaker 1: to pull over that I didn't cause a car accident.
36:08
Speaker 1: There's so many other things we can focus on in
36:10
Speaker 1: that moment, and it's hard, it's not easy, but at
36:13
Speaker 1: least you had those tools.
36:15
Speaker 3: So right, So two things to double click on then,
36:18
Speaker 3: the first being that so these products came to fruition
36:21
Speaker 3: mostly during the pandemic, Is that right?
36:24
Speaker 1: No? So the journal came throughout my like I said,
36:27
Speaker 1: I've been generally for eighteen years really when I've always
36:31
Speaker 1: known I wanted to do the journal. It's actually been
36:33
Speaker 1: in the works for the last two years and it
36:36
Speaker 1: finally just dropped about a month ago, so I'm really
36:38
Speaker 1: proud of it. The affirmation cards came right when Wadful
36:42
Speaker 1: pretty much launched, like maybe a year after. And then
36:46
Speaker 1: what came during the pandemic is a game I created
36:49
Speaker 1: called No Room for Small Talk because I was only
36:52
Speaker 1: hanging out with two or three of my friends and
36:55
Speaker 1: you can only ask so many times would you do today.
36:58
Speaker 4: Especially when we weren't doing.
36:59
Speaker 1: Any thing, and I thought, you know, wouldn't it be
37:02
Speaker 1: nice to know my friends on a deeper level and
37:05
Speaker 1: ask questions that are actually meaningful where I can get
37:09
Speaker 1: to really know who they are, Like what is your
37:13
Speaker 1: favorite memory about how you were raised, or you know,
37:17
Speaker 1: just how far would you move for love? Things like
37:20
Speaker 1: that that just help us connect in a way that
37:24
Speaker 1: isn't just small talk.
37:26
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, and so valuable that opportunity to connect on
37:29
Speaker 3: that deeper level. The other thing I wanted to touch
37:33
Speaker 3: back on was this recognition of the fact that there
37:38
Speaker 3: it can be both, right, Like, it can be both.
37:41
Speaker 3: You have gratitude for the fact that you have a
37:43
Speaker 3: warm shower, but you're also feeling deep pain. And I
37:46
Speaker 3: think that sometimes that can be a challenging dichotomy for
37:53
Speaker 3: some it's like, how am I supposed to keep this
37:56
Speaker 3: gratitude journal when it feels like my world is crumbled?
38:00
Speaker 3: But inversely, that's actually exactly the point, right, so that
38:04
Speaker 3: you can recognize that both can coexist.
38:07
Speaker 1: Oh, I mean, I think that's been the balancing act
38:09
Speaker 1: of my life for the past seven years, was balancing
38:13
Speaker 1: grief and gratitude. It doesn't erase, like you have to
38:17
Speaker 1: fill the grief. You have to You can't push it away,
38:21
Speaker 1: you can't run from it. One of my dear mentors
38:24
Speaker 1: and friends, he is his name's David Kessler, and he's
38:28
Speaker 1: a a grief and loss expert, and he explains this
38:34
Speaker 1: story about buffaloes about how when a storm is coming,
38:38
Speaker 1: buffaloes run towards the storm to alleviate how much time
38:42
Speaker 1: they'll spend in pain, where we as humans we run
38:46
Speaker 1: from the storm, or we keep it to the side,
38:49
Speaker 1: or we do everything to distract ourselves from going towards
38:52
Speaker 1: the storm. And what I learned from that is he said,
38:55
Speaker 1: grief doesn't need a lot of time, it just needs
38:58
Speaker 1: dedicated time. And so we have to feel, like David says,
39:02
Speaker 1: we have to feel it to heal it, and it's
39:05
Speaker 1: really true. You have to be able to feel those
39:07
Speaker 1: emotions and go through it so that you can learn
39:10
Speaker 1: what it is that you need to learn about yourself
39:13
Speaker 1: and then you can apply the gratitude but also holding
39:17
Speaker 1: them at the same time. Is yeah, it's what we do.
39:21
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, wow, I've never heard that buffalo analogy before.
39:25
Speaker 1: You know, whatever we suppress is going to come out
39:27
Speaker 1: in another form, It's going to come out in a
39:29
Speaker 1: different way, right, whether that's road rage, whether that's snapping
39:34
Speaker 1: at someone, whether that's being constantly angry and aggressive, whatever.
39:40
Speaker 1: Everyone has a different way, whether that's I'm crying for
39:43
Speaker 1: no reason, and I don't know why I'm now addicted
39:46
Speaker 1: to video gaming because it numbs me. I'm addicted to
39:50
Speaker 1: Netflix and you know, binge watching my favorite shows because
39:54
Speaker 1: I'm just doing my best to avoid the thing that
39:57
Speaker 1: needs my attention the most, and that's yeah.
40:01
Speaker 3: Right right, So these days what excites you with word
40:06
Speaker 3: to Fall, you.
40:08
Speaker 1: Know, for me, it's really just about expanding community. I
40:12
Speaker 1: think what I've seen transpire within the last few years
40:17
Speaker 1: is how many women showed up to events alone and
40:20
Speaker 1: knew no one, and now there are they show up together.
40:25
Speaker 1: They show up in like groups of five, and they've
40:27
Speaker 1: all coordinated and they're they're there for one another. It's
40:31
Speaker 1: like I'm I was able to just be the catalyst
40:33
Speaker 1: to bringing them together and now they're dependent on They're
40:36
Speaker 1: making sub communities within the bigger community, and that really
40:40
Speaker 1: excites me. And being able to invite different guests now
40:45
Speaker 1: that people understand what word aful is more having other
40:49
Speaker 1: people share their stories, because really, when it started, I
40:52
Speaker 1: didn't know what I was doing, and now that it's
40:55
Speaker 1: grown into what it's grown into, eventually I would love
40:59
Speaker 1: to step back and be more of a producer on
41:02
Speaker 1: it than the constant storyteller. Not that I don't, because
41:06
Speaker 1: I still love sharing and I'm going to learn for
41:08
Speaker 1: the rest of my life, and there's always something to share.
41:11
Speaker 1: There's always going to be something you want to share.
41:13
Speaker 1: But I'm really fascinated in hearing what other people have
41:17
Speaker 1: experienced in their lives as well.
41:19
Speaker 3: How does it feel for you to be such a giver?
41:27
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a double edged sword, right, because what I'm
41:34
Speaker 1: learning currently in this season of my life is that
41:38
Speaker 1: when we are constantly the caregiver, we don't give space
41:42
Speaker 1: for other people to show it for us. And I
41:47
Speaker 1: am now learning that sometimes I need to just say,
41:54
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm not going to call that person
41:57
Speaker 1: today and check on them, and iron that person will
42:00
Speaker 1: end up calling.
42:01
Speaker 4: Me checking on me.
42:03
Speaker 1: So that's probably the best example I can give. But
42:07
Speaker 1: it does feel it really does feed my soul to
42:12
Speaker 1: pay forward everything that I'm learning that has been instrumental
42:17
Speaker 1: in my healing and growth. You know, it's like you I,
42:21
Speaker 1: at least for me, I get very excited when I
42:24
Speaker 1: learn something new that has it's like another tool in
42:28
Speaker 1: my tool belt for life, and I'm like, oh, this
42:31
Speaker 1: is going to help you build the house.
42:33
Speaker 4: Look what I found today. I found a screwdriver. Look
42:36
Speaker 4: what I found yesterday? A hammer? I found a saw.
42:39
Speaker 1: And you just want to be able to share these
42:41
Speaker 1: tools with everyone because they've impacted your life so deeply.
42:46
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's really beautiful and I can totally totally
42:50
Speaker 3: relate with this, right. It's it's being at the helm
42:52
Speaker 3: of a community and wanting nothing more than to be
42:55
Speaker 3: able to provide whatever resources you have. But in doing that,
42:59
Speaker 3: it's this constant battle and reminder of self. It's like, hey,
43:04
Speaker 3: where's your oxygen mask?
43:05
Speaker 2: Right?
43:06
Speaker 3: If you're constantly just putting everybody else's oxygen mask on,
43:09
Speaker 3: then you end up realizing that you can only do
43:11
Speaker 3: it for so long until you run out of it yourself.
43:14
Speaker 3: So to hear you talk about your passion and excitement
43:18
Speaker 3: for lifting up your community and especially them coming together,
43:22
Speaker 3: it's so special. But it's also just such an important reminder,
43:25
Speaker 3: right of the importance of taking care of you well.
43:29
Speaker 1: And I want to add to that, Emily, because one
43:31
Speaker 1: thing that I'm also as part of my practice, I
43:35
Speaker 1: call it the boomerang. I am such a meet everyone's
43:39
Speaker 1: needs or I'm going to say I've been because I'm
43:41
Speaker 1: changing how I would show up is I always felt
43:46
Speaker 1: like I needed to meet everyone's needs, whether that's my father's,
43:50
Speaker 1: my sisters, my partners, my dogs, my employees, or my employers,
43:56
Speaker 1: even my employees. And before or I have the knee
44:02
Speaker 1: jerk reaction to let me give them what they need,
44:06
Speaker 1: I stop and I take a breath now, and I say, okay,
44:09
Speaker 1: but first, what do I need? So it's the boomerang
44:14
Speaker 1: as soon as I jump up to say, oh, that
44:15
Speaker 1: person needs this or that would be really nice if
44:17
Speaker 1: I did this for that person. What would be really nice?
44:21
Speaker 1: What would be a really nice thing that I could
44:22
Speaker 1: do for myself?
44:23
Speaker 4: First?
44:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. I love that.
44:26
Speaker 1: You know.
44:26
Speaker 3: It also makes me think of the concept of react
44:28
Speaker 3: versus respond, right, And it's so easy for us to
44:32
Speaker 3: quickly react. Let's say to an email that pops into
44:35
Speaker 3: our inbox. It's like, oh, let me just like get
44:38
Speaker 3: back to this really quick. But is how you would
44:40
Speaker 3: react in this moment different than how you might respond
44:45
Speaker 3: with a little bit more breathing room in twenty four hours.
44:48
Speaker 3: If it is, if you can have that level of
44:51
Speaker 3: self awareness, then maybe you need to be more diligent
44:54
Speaker 3: and focusing on only the response and less of the reaction, right,
44:58
Speaker 3: because reacting does and always serve us. But responding clearly
45:02
Speaker 3: and getting your message message across and being cognizant of
45:06
Speaker 3: whatever it is that you want from that interaction is
45:09
Speaker 3: what will eventually help you in the long run.
45:12
Speaker 1: Absolutely, when we're reacting, we're not looking at all of
45:15
Speaker 1: our options. But when we take a moment to respond,
45:19
Speaker 1: we're coming from a whole place. We're responding with the wholeness,
45:22
Speaker 1: and that gives us Okay, what are my options here,
45:26
Speaker 1: and how do I want to handle this situation or
45:29
Speaker 1: this email or whatever the situation is.
45:32
Speaker 3: You know, what would you say has been one of
45:37
Speaker 3: the biggest lessons that you have carried with you in
45:43
Speaker 3: navigating loss and grief.
45:48
Speaker 4: I would say that.
45:50
Speaker 1: When when I am grieving, and so many times we
45:55
Speaker 1: want to question, like why am I still sad? Or
45:58
Speaker 1: why does it hurt so much? Or oh my god,
46:00
Speaker 1: I can't believe I'm still crying, or it's just a
46:04
Speaker 1: testament to how much I loved my mother. That's really
46:08
Speaker 1: what grief is. It's part of being, it's part of
46:12
Speaker 1: the human journey, it's part of the human process. And
46:15
Speaker 1: anytime we grieve anything, it's because we cared or we loved.
46:19
Speaker 3: And it can be so frustrating at times, right, because
46:22
Speaker 3: it doesn't make it easier to navigate knowing how great
46:26
Speaker 3: the love was.
46:27
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean even during the pandemic, think about how
46:30
Speaker 1: much we grieved, right, We grieved the loss of our freedoms.
46:35
Speaker 1: We had so much freedom that we didn't realize and
46:38
Speaker 1: we had to grieve that. But because now there's a
46:41
Speaker 1: sense of gratitude, right.
46:43
Speaker 2: Yeah.
46:43
Speaker 1: So that's the thing I've realized with losing my mother
46:47
Speaker 1: is as sad and as painful as it has been
46:50
Speaker 1: and continues to be, anytime I go to that place,
46:55
Speaker 1: I just think, oh, that's how much I loved her
46:58
Speaker 1: and how much she loved me.
47:00
Speaker 3: Yeah, what are you looking forward to in your next chapter?
47:06
Speaker 1: Showing up for myself and showing up for my inner child,
47:11
Speaker 1: you know, really giving myself the love and the attention
47:19
Speaker 1: and the nurturing that I crave and knowing that the
47:25
Speaker 1: deepest love that I've been craving is my own and
47:30
Speaker 1: that comes in so many different forms. Whether that's speaking
47:33
Speaker 1: up for myself, whether that's honoring my boundaries, whether that's
47:38
Speaker 1: just checking in and getting quiet and asking myself every
47:42
Speaker 1: single day, What does Liz and little Liz need to
47:47
Speaker 1: feel safe? So it's just using my words to love
47:53
Speaker 1: on me.
47:53
Speaker 3: Oftentimes were made to feel like it needs to be
47:57
Speaker 3: such a drastic choice to take care of self.
48:00
Speaker 1: You know, what I'm learning, Emily is that the truth
48:03
Speaker 1: is really simple. People think like, oh my god, when
48:06
Speaker 1: you do the work, it's going to be so hard
48:09
Speaker 1: and ugly and painful, and I get it, a lot
48:11
Speaker 1: of it can be. But I'm also learning there's a
48:14
Speaker 1: side of it that's really light and lovely. And the
48:18
Speaker 1: truth is for me, the truth has been very simple
48:22
Speaker 1: and easy to lean into.
48:24
Speaker 3: When you say like light and lovely, it makes me
48:27
Speaker 3: think of like a Sunday afternoon when I have an
48:29
Speaker 3: opportunity to like sit outside on a bench and write
48:32
Speaker 3: or read. Write like that is even a simple way
48:35
Speaker 3: of doing the work. And I think that oftentimes that
48:38
Speaker 3: phrase gets like so much hate on it, right, it's like, oh,
48:42
Speaker 3: she's doing the work, Like.
48:45
Speaker 1: Well, here's what I want to say so that people
48:47
Speaker 1: don't think I'm being just like what do they call that, Pollyanna?
48:53
Speaker 2: I don't know, like fluffy, yeah.
48:55
Speaker 1: Or just that I'm positive, you know, I don't want
48:57
Speaker 1: anyone think that this is any kind of toxic positivity,
49:00
Speaker 1: because it's not. What I've found to be painful is
49:03
Speaker 1: when I didn't do the work. It wasn't having the tools.
49:07
Speaker 1: It was sitting in a place where I felt stuck.
49:10
Speaker 1: It was not knowing why I've been so hard on myself.
49:14
Speaker 1: It was not knowing why I was seeking bad relationships.
49:18
Speaker 1: It was not having understanding that was causing me pain.
49:23
Speaker 1: And so the minute you take the step towards I'm
49:26
Speaker 1: going to now get into therapy, I'm going to have
49:29
Speaker 1: mentors around me that are influencing me in a positive way.
49:32
Speaker 1: I'm going to be mindful of what I'm taking in,
49:37
Speaker 1: whether that's through the books I read, whether that's through
49:39
Speaker 1: positive affirmations, whether that's through the music I listen to.
49:43
Speaker 1: I'm going to do a deep cleansing of me. If
49:46
Speaker 1: that's signing off my phone for a weekend to just
49:49
Speaker 1: be with myself. That feels so much better to me
49:53
Speaker 1: than to just allow life to just happen to me
49:57
Speaker 1: and just float along and be like, well, I'm in
50:00
Speaker 1: pain now and I don't know why, and I'm.
50:02
Speaker 4: Just going to try to get through.
50:05
Speaker 2: No, thank you, that is not what we want that
50:08
Speaker 2: is not what we want.
50:09
Speaker 3: Right now, someone comes to your Instagram page, they see
50:14
Speaker 3: this beautiful woman, the creator of word a full But
50:17
Speaker 3: when you look in the mirror, what is it that
50:19
Speaker 3: you see looking back at you?
50:22
Speaker 4: Huh?
50:23
Speaker 1: You know, it changes, It's never the same. And I've
50:27
Speaker 1: learned to give myself a lot of space to get
50:33
Speaker 1: curious of who is she today? And you know, it
50:39
Speaker 1: is really easy to focus on the things I.
50:42
Speaker 4: Don't like about myself.
50:44
Speaker 1: We're critical on myself and every time and again this
50:47
Speaker 1: is because I've done a lot of practicing of when
50:54
Speaker 1: I do go to that place of oh, look at that,
50:57
Speaker 1: I say, no, no, inner critic, We're going to be
51:01
Speaker 1: really kind because we deserve it. And so when I
51:06
Speaker 1: look in the mirror, I just see someone that is
51:09
Speaker 1: really trying her best every day and showing up for herself,
51:13
Speaker 1: and someone who's actually really brave and courageous because she's
51:17
Speaker 1: choosing to focus on the good and not on the.
51:19
Speaker 3: Negative, choosing to focus on the good. Liz, I'm so
51:24
Speaker 3: happy that we're able to make this time today. Before
51:27
Speaker 3: I let you go, I've got to ask you this question.
51:30
Speaker 3: Right now, you have an opportunity to offer yourself a
51:33
Speaker 3: piece of advice before you started doing the work, when
51:37
Speaker 3: you were in that tough place, that place that felt
51:39
Speaker 3: so dark and frustrating. Knowing what you know now looking
51:43
Speaker 3: at that Hurtle moment, what do you tell yourself?
51:51
Speaker 1: I would just tell her to give herself patience and
51:55
Speaker 1: compassion and grace, you know, just to to be really
52:02
Speaker 1: compassionate with herself because she's learning, she's learning.
52:07
Speaker 3: She's learning amazing. I'm so happy that we were able
52:10
Speaker 3: to do this. How do the hurdlers follow along with you?
52:12
Speaker 3: If they don't yet? Give us your information?
52:16
Speaker 1: And Emily, I just first of all want to say
52:18
Speaker 1: you are such a gracious interviewer and it's just so
52:21
Speaker 1: nice to share this space with you, so thank you.
52:23
Speaker 2: Thank you.
52:25
Speaker 1: So they can find me at Liz Hernandez it's all
52:30
Speaker 1: my handles are there, and then Wordiful is at WO
52:34
Speaker 1: R D A f U L and it's all the.
52:36
Speaker 2: Handles amazing, amazing.
52:39
Speaker 3: I'm over at Emily a Body and at Hurdle Podcast
52:42
Speaker 3: Another Hurdle Conquered.
52:44
Speaker 2: Catch you guys next time.