Latest / The Parenting Podcast / Navigating Screens Together: Crafting Your Family's Media Plan | Ep. 97

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Navigating Screens Together: Crafting Your Family's Media Plan | Ep. 97 · The Parenting Podcast

• 0:06
  Greetings to all our fellow parents out there, and welcome back to another episode of the Parenting Podcast.
• 0:15
  I am your host, Cheryl Lang, and I'm thrilled to have you here.
• 0:20
  In this era of ever advancing technology, the challenges of modern parenting can sometimes feel overwhelming.
• 0:32
  I mean, have you ever found yourself so frustrated that you consider just raising the white flag and surrendering on that digital battlefield?
• 0:46
  Believe me, you are not alone.
• 0:50
  We've all been there, and that's precisely why we've devoted this series to unraveling the intricate relationship between families.
• 1:01
  And their digital devices.
• 1:03
  Today, we'll explore the pivotal role you play as a media mentor for your family.
• 1:11
  You are the guiding force steering your loved ones through this ever changing world of cyber possibilities.
• 1:19
  Together we'll explore the complexities and challenges of incorporating digital devices into your daily lives and seek to define a media balance tailored for your unique family.
• 1:34
  Listen in now as we offer idea, inspiration, and inspiration.
• 1:39
  And the company you need on this expedition to make technology work for your family rather than against it.
• 1:56
  Ellen: Hey Christy, you were talking about chickens and I didn't get to hear the story.
• 2:00
  Ellen: What was your chicken story?
• 2:01
  Christie: What were you telling us?
• 2:02
  Christie: Did you guys know that we had chickens?
• 2:03
  Christie: No.
• 2:04
  Christie: Oh yes, it was my chicken era.
• 2:07
  Christie: Like a long time ago?
• 2:08
  Christie: You know, I'm a seven on the Enneagram, so I have an era for everything.
• 2:13
  Christie: And I had a chicken era.
• 2:15
  Christie: I got the bright idea that we were going to have enough chickens to have eggs for our family of six.
• 2:21
  Christie: And we lived.
• 2:22
  Christie: Smack in the middle of the suburb.
• 2:23
  Christie: So I don't even think we were legally supposed to have them.
• 2:26
  Christie: So how many
• 2:27
  Ellen: chickens do you need for that
• 2:29
  Christie: big of a family?
• 2:30
  Christie: Twice as many as what we had.
• 2:33
  Christie: So we had chickens we got them as chicks and I mean before the chicks I did all the library books watched all the videos read all the blogs.
• 2:42
  Christie: Yeah got the chicks built the The tractor, you know, coop thing.
• 2:48
  Christie: You were a chicken prepper.
• 2:50
  Christie: I was a chicken prepper.
• 2:51
  Christie: We built a little fence in our little bitty suburban yard.
• 2:55
  Christie: The whole thing.
• 2:55
  Christie: We named, um, all of it.
• 2:57
  Cheryl: So naming them means they are lairs, not eaters.
• 3:01
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 3:01
  Cheryl: Okay.
• 3:02
  Christie: Except for the one we thought was a hen who turned out to be a rooster, then he had to go live with a friend on the farm, but I think he was there dinner very quickly.
• 3:12
  Christie: But yes, we went all in on this chicken thing until.
• 3:16
  Christie: The first winter, and we realized gunkle girls are not farmers.
• 3:21
  Christie: It was cold to, you know, go out and chip the ice and, and then a hawk came and there was death involved and blood and we abandoned ship very quickly.
• 3:32
  Cheryl: It didn't look like the beautiful videos I
• 3:35
  Christie: mean, for a season, you know, the first two weeks.
• 3:39
  Christie: I think we lasted, I think we got early summer, and I think we lasted almost a year.
• 3:45
  Christie: Did you get any
• 3:46
  Cheryl: eggs?
• 3:46
  Christie: Oh yeah, and it was great because, you know, you'd go to make, like, a brownie recipe or something, and you'd be short an egg, and I'd say, well, let's just, you know, do these chores, and wait an hour, and somebody will lay us an egg, and we'll just go out and grab one, so.
• 4:00
  Christie: Did you ever get one where there's a
• 4:01
  Ellen: chicken inside of it?
• 4:03
  Christie: Well, we didn't have a rooster.
• 4:04
  Christie: Oh, that's right.
• 4:05
  Christie: Do we need to have a talk, Ellen?
• 4:10
  Cheryl: I thought we might want to do chickens too, until we had close friends that had chickens.
• 4:17
  Cheryl: Was it Christy?
• 4:20
  Cheryl: And my kid said, no way.
• 4:23
  Cheryl: Best laid plans, right?
• 4:25
  Cheryl: Right,
• 4:25
  Christie: right.
• 4:25
  Christie: That's so punny.
• 4:28
  Cheryl: Oh, that really was a good
• 4:31
  Christie: one.
• 4:31
  Christie: You're a natural.
• 4:33
  Cheryl: And I've had so many things.
• 4:35
  Cheryl: This is what we're going to do.
• 4:37
  Cheryl: And just 100%.
• 4:40
  Christie: I've had this all in headfirst.
• 4:41
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 4:42
  Christie: So,
• 4:44
  Cheryl: uh, this is sort of the introduction of what we're going to talk about.
• 4:48
  Ellen: laugh
• 4:48
  Cheryl: But instead of chickens, we're going to continue our conversation on media.
• 4:53
  Christie: Interesting
• 4:55
  Cheryl: Okay.
• 4:56
  Cheryl: And how in the world Do we as families figure out what to do with screens and devices and media in our families?
• 5:05
  Cheryl: You know, we've been talking about some of the stats and the big issues and, uh, we don't want to do what happened with you, Christy, and the chickens information and knowledge with no balance Right.
• 5:18
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 5:19
  Cheryl: Okay.
• 5:19
  Cheryl: I remember, um, well, after we lost Bill, I was so concerned about of our family's health.
• 5:27
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 5:27
  Cheryl: Okay.
• 5:28
  Cheryl: So, I was going to be so strict about what we ate.
• 5:31
  Cheryl: And I mean, talk about legalistic and kids were only going to do this and we're never going to have sweets and have no sugar in the house.
• 5:39
  Cheryl: And we won't touch meat just all in.
• 5:43
  Cheryl: No latitude for taste or anything.
• 5:46
  Cheryl: like balance And then Thanksgiving's coming and the kids finally had the courage to go, mom, what about Thanksgiving?
• 5:56
  Cheryl: Because There's nothing healthy in our Thanksgiving's.
• 5:59
  Cheryl: Off limit foods.
• 6:01
  Cheryl: It's all stuff.
• 6:02
  Cheryl: And I kind of, in that conversation, realized, okay, I've moved too far in for what we can really manage as a family, and pull back.
• 6:12
  Cheryl: Right.
• 6:12
  Cheryl: Well, I
• 6:13
  Ellen: think that's true on the topic we're going to talk to.
• 6:15
  Ellen: You know, if you want to Change your family's diet.
• 6:18
  Ellen: You don't do it the way you were saying.
• 6:20
  Ellen: Exactly.
• 6:20
  Ellen: You gradually introduce things.
• 6:22
  Ellen: You give everybody a chance to change their
• 6:24
  Christie: palates.
• 6:25
  Christie: Right, but another commonality between the two is you were driven by great concern.
• 6:31
  Christie: Yeah.
• 6:32
  Christie: For good health.
• 6:33
  Christie: Raw fear is
• 6:34
  Cheryl: really what it was.
• 6:35
  Cheryl: Okay.
• 6:35
  Cheryl: Okay.
• 6:35
  Cheryl: Valid.
• 6:36
  Cheryl: Valid.
• 6:37
  Cheryl: Right.
• 6:37
  Cheryl: But I was just
• 6:38
  Christie: terrified But that same thing can be true in the area of technology and screen usage to the stats are horrifying, right?
• 6:47
  Christie: And the effects are horrifying to think about.
• 6:50
  Christie: And so the temptation is to run to the other extreme.
• 6:53
  Christie: Yeah.
• 6:53
  Christie: But then the reality is, here we are in 2023.
• 6:57
  Christie: Moving forward, it's only going to be more and more tech driven.
• 7:01
  Cheryl: And so parents, that's what we want to do.
• 7:03
  Cheryl: We're going to share.
• 7:05
  Cheryl: A lot of ideas and different approaches and what we want you to do is take what benefits you, listen to the stats and decide.
• 7:16
  Cheryl: That's what we want to say.
• 7:18
  Cheryl: You figure out as a family, what is your philosophy?
• 7:22
  Cheryl: How do you want to approach it?
• 7:23
  Cheryl: And so how about if we do that?
• 7:25
  Cheryl: We talk about the different things and then they can pick and choose how they decide they want to.
• 7:31
  Cheryl: Establish their media plan to be media mentors for their
• 7:35
  Christie: family.
• 7:36
  Christie: Yeah, I think that's great.
• 7:37
  Christie: I think intention is, is what we're cheering for.
• 7:41
  Christie: I'll speak as the resident Gen X er in the room, raising Gen Z ers.
• 7:45
  Christie: And it's, it's an upstream swim for sure.
• 7:48
  Christie: But if we can do things with intention, then I think we're one step ahead.
• 7:53
  Christie: And that leads
• 7:53
  Ellen: to a plan, which is important.
• 7:55
  Ellen: You know, it's good to get a philosophy.
• 7:58
  Ellen: You know, philosophy slash intention.
• 8:01
  Ellen: But then it's really good to now, how do I implement that?
• 8:05
  Ellen: And that's the hard part because in our heads, it all works really well.
• 8:09
  Christie: And then at 3.
• 8:10
  Christie: 30 on a Tuesday, mom's giving in first.
• 8:17
  Cheryl: And that's really what we want to do.
• 8:19
  Cheryl: We want to empower you, share information.
• 8:22
  Cheryl: But then you deal with it, what works for your family, and remember we alluded to this, that it's evolving.
• 8:29
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 8:29
  Cheryl: Because let's say you have three children under five.
• 8:33
  Cheryl: We're going to approach this a different way, and some of the things we want to equip you with is different from somebody that has preteens and teens, or very established habits, because that's two different worlds.
• 8:48
  Christie: Well, and it's evolving on the timeline, too, like I've talked about before.
• 8:52
  Christie: Tech was different with my older two kids than it has been with my younger two kids.
• 8:56
  Christie: And so if you have three kids under five right now, your world's going to look a lot different in about 10 years, not just because of their ages, but because of the exposure and, and tech that's available.
• 9:07
  Ellen: And we can't function without it.
• 9:08
  Ellen: Right.
• 9:09
  Ellen: It's just geared every day more and more and more.
• 9:12
  Christie: So I think of comparing it a little bit to, you know, how we manage our finances, how we manage our food choices, you know, we're aiming for stewardship of the excellent, that's good, the resources that we have to utilize in our lives.
• 9:25
  Cheryl: Well, and we're not just saying run away from all media, right?
• 9:29
  Cheryl: You're saying, but let's emphasize choice.
• 9:33
  Cheryl: And quality over quantity.
• 9:36
  Cheryl: But not just everybody cut your screen usage in two Right.
• 9:39
  Cheryl: But look at what you're doing.
• 9:41
  Cheryl: And so we're going to kind of have a landscape approach.
• 9:43
  Cheryl: And then you pick and choose and maybe use some of the ideas we share.
• 9:47
  Ellen: And it kind of starts with.
• 9:49
  Ellen: You and your spouse, right?
• 9:51
  Ellen: Absolutely.
• 9:51
  Ellen: Because you need to be in agreement on that.
• 9:53
  Ellen: Mm-hmm.
• 9:54
  Ellen: And that can be hard because one may be a really big media person and, you know, talking through the issue together as a couple and what you wanna see in your family.
• 10:04
  Ellen: Right?
• 10:04
  Christie: Well, I think to take that one step further, you know, get on board with your spouse and then I think I mentioned it before, but I just love the idea of a community of parents being on the same with the same mindset.
• 10:18
  Christie: So whether that's your, you know, your kids, uh, classmates at school or their friend group or their sports team have these conversations with those people that are closest to your kids lives so that you're not swimming upstream alone when you're making these
• 10:32
  Cheryl: choices.
• 10:32
  Cheryl: And we really want to emphasize.
• 10:35
  Cheryl: You are the vital quantity in all of this, parents.
• 10:39
  Cheryl: You are the one that matters.
• 10:41
  Cheryl: We want you to take hold, to decide what you're going to do, and how you're going to do it, and then, You can begin to help
• 10:49
  Ellen: your children because for most kids, putting some limits on screen time for most families, that's going to be a withdrawal process and it may be for you and your spouse.
• 11:02
  Ellen: It may be a withdrawal process.
• 11:04
  Ellen: And so.
• 11:05
  Ellen: It's not something you do overnight.
• 11:07
  Ellen: It's something you're going to have to slowly introduce to your family.
• 11:10
  Ellen: If you have younger children, it'll be a lot easier, but you know, in an established home with all ages of children, the older they are, the harder it's going to be.
• 11:18
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 11:19
  Ellen: I
• 11:19
  Christie: think step one in.
• 11:21
  Christie: Making a change like this would, with your kids would be casting vision and getting them to buy in on the why and really focusing on the reason you have these values.
• 11:32
  Christie: You know, we, we want to take good care of our minds.
• 11:35
  Christie: We want to take good care of our relationships and have the positive side of things.
• 11:40
  Christie: Instead of just putting down the hammer with the rules.
• 11:44
  Christie: I think, you know, even.
• 11:45
  Christie: Especially young kids, I think they're just like team oriented, they like to be part of something that's good and working towards something good together.
• 11:55
  Christie: And so I think if you can get kids to, you know, even have cute little chants or whatever it takes to get them to buy into it.
• 12:01
  Christie: Except for
• 12:02
  Ellen: what I do with my kids by accident.
• 12:05
  Ellen: I didn't realize this was going to happen, but I would always tell them, we don't watch a lot of TV because I don't want you to be a vegetable.
• 12:11
  Ellen: So, of course,
• 12:11
  Christie: what do you think they said to their friends next time?
• 12:14
  Christie: You
• 12:15
  Ellen: have vegetables
• 12:16
  Christie: for a brains.
• 12:18
  Christie: Yeah, there's always that risk.
• 12:20
  Cheryl: Because we want to do all of this in grace.
• 12:23
  Cheryl: So how about if we talk some now about balance?
• 12:29
  Cheryl: How can we help parents have a balance between?
• 12:32
  Cheryl: healthy screen conduct and then in person like social interaction and activities So let's what would be something that y'all would suggest for us to try and approach the balance Well, I think
• 12:46
  Ellen: one of the first things, because I think our goal is maybe to kind of limit screen time and make sure that the screen time we have is quality time.
• 12:53
  Ellen: Mm-hmm.
• 12:53
  Ellen: we have to look at ourselves.
• 12:55
  Ellen: Mm-hmm.
• 12:55
  Ellen: Absolutely.
• 12:55
  Ellen: And maybe spend a week looking at how much time am I spending and how am I gonna reduce my time?
• 13:02
  Ellen: 'cause it's really hard then to go to the rest of your family and say, okay, we're not gonna do this anymore.
• 13:07
  Ellen: We're not gonna sit all the time in front of the tv.
• 13:09
  Ellen: phone Mm-hmm.
• 13:10
  Ellen: computer or whatever it is that you're using for your screen.
• 13:13
  Ellen: Right.
• 13:14
  Ellen: So that's probably the starting place.
• 13:17
  Ellen: If your children are used to a lot of screen time, you're going to have to slowly withdraw and slowly you can't just go.
• 13:23
  Ellen: Now you can only have one a week right?
• 13:25
  Ellen: That's, that's probably going to freak them out.
• 13:27
  Christie: Yeah, I think taking an inventory of what we're actually doing is surprising.
• 13:32
  Christie: It always is scary whenever I'm like, Oh my word, 20 minutes has gone by.
• 13:36
  Christie: How much other time am I wasting away?
• 13:39
  Christie: And I
• 13:39
  Ellen: know on a lot of the phones.
• 13:41
  Ellen: You know, they can keep track of how much and they'll tell you at the end of the week you were on the phone, your screen, whatever, so many hours, but that would be probably a first start just even for yourself.
• 13:51
  Ellen: Because I didn't realize I was using my
• 13:52
  Christie: phone that much.
• 13:53
  Christie: Yeah, just some self awareness.
• 13:55
  Christie: That's
• 13:55
  Cheryl: good.
• 13:55
  Cheryl: So that'd be a simple first step.
• 13:57
  Cheryl: Mm hmm.
• 13:58
  Cheryl: All your devices start having timers there are so many free apps.
• 14:03
  Cheryl: I know apples have it and Google has it also free things.
• 14:07
  Cheryl: You can know how much screen time.
• 14:10
  Cheryl: So maybe that would be a place to start before you.
• 14:13
  Cheryl: Institute changes just to get an idea.
• 14:16
  Cheryl: You are gathering sort of like, um, I don't know the CEO at a or CFO at a business that first they need to know how much money are we spending and how much money is coming in that you begin with that before you say, let's fire people or build a new building, right?
• 14:33
  Cheryl: Just to give an overview that that would be an initial step.
• 14:36
  Cheryl: And I agree with you.
• 14:38
  Cheryl: Ellen, it's shocking because you get so used to it.
• 14:42
  Cheryl: You're just dulled to it and you don't realize suddenly how much how out of line this is and that's where you come back as a Couple or as a single parent to say this is way out of line with what I think or you might find out Oh, this is really balanced.
• 14:59
  Cheryl: I didn't realize we were there.
• 15:01
  Christie: Yeah, I think I think another thing about that is it's the habit You know, it's just the habit of having your phone so readily available.
• 15:09
  Christie: Oh, I don't know.
• 15:10
  Christie: Let me look that up I don't know, you know and then getting sidetracked or having your laptop just laying there on the counter Well, let me let me research that real fast.
• 15:18
  Christie: And so You know, I, I grew up, our TV was literally always on.
• 15:24
  Christie: I mean, we never turned it off.
• 15:25
  Christie: I think we had a repairman come once and he was like, well, when was the this time you turn this off?
• 15:30
  Christie: Like, Oh, we don't turn it off.
• 15:32
  Christie: But I think that's the equivalent of that now is just always having your phone in your pocket or your, your iPad on the table or, and so maybe having more intentionality in putting what you're doing.
• 15:43
  Christie: The devices away when you're done using them rather than just having them in arm's reach at all time might be kind of a equivalent of that because
• 15:52
  Cheryl: you're not even saying limit your time on them, just make it less available and I think that's a brilliant idea, that we start practicing turning it off when we're not intentionally using it.
• 16:03
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 16:04
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 16:05
  Cheryl: And kind of in keeping with that a little more proactive step into this, trying to find balance would.
• 16:12
  Cheryl: Begin to look for other things to do when the media is off.
• 16:18
  Cheryl: And you know, we haven't even gotten to the point of establishing how much we are or aren't going to do.
• 16:22
  Cheryl: But just begin to have activities available, particularly the younger your children are, trying to, um, give them opportunities to be interested in other things.
• 16:34
  Christie: Right.
• 16:34
  Christie: I think a good way to do that, and we, we did this for a season when we were trying to back off TV usage when my kids were probably, like, elementary age, I think.
• 16:45
  Christie: Um, finding the things that we wanted to make sure we got in every day.
• 16:49
  Christie: So we wanted to get a certain amount of activity, physical activity in.
• 16:52
  Christie: We wanted to get a certain amount of reading in.
• 16:54
  Christie: We wanted to get a certain amount of, like, face to face, relational time.
• 16:58
  Christie: And so by the time we got all those things in, Done.
• 17:00
  Christie: We kind of ran outta time.
• 17:02
  Christie: Yeah.
• 17:02
  Christie: Like I even had my kids, some of my kids had little Fitbits and so I would say this many steps before we could watch tv.
• 17:08
  Christie: Oh, that's good.
• 17:08
  Christie: Good.
• 17:08
  Christie: And so I think if you have, you know, kinda that big rocks mentality of getting these positive things in first.
• 17:15
  Christie: Very good.
• 17:15
  Christie: And then it's not a no screens, you know, rule.
• 17:18
  Christie: It's just like, let's focus on the good.
• 17:20
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 17:20
  Cheryl: Because as we weaned our family off of television, um, it was the same thing.
• 17:26
  Cheryl: Filling those hours Yes.
• 17:28
  Cheryl: With something else.
• 17:28
  Cheryl: Mm-hmm.
• 17:29
  Cheryl: And of one of the things that in my own life, and I'm so glad I did it, is I found books again, so for me, I got some books, but I would have to discipline myself, to say, I'm going to choose to sit and read for a while, and just kind of get myself back into reading,and enjoying other things Right.
• 17:51
  Ellen: And that's sort of how we raised our children, and we, uh, because both Mike and I are pretty avid readers, we would also encourage our kids, take your book, for an hour.
• 18:01
  Ellen: And that encouraged them to kind of start to gravitate to books.
• 18:05
  Ellen: Books and other activities.
• 18:07
  Ellen: It could be, you know, draw something, make something because especially if your children have been used to a lot of screen time, you have to give them some positive things to put their energy in, right?
• 18:17
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 18:17
  Ellen: Yes.
• 18:17
  Ellen: Otherwise, they're just gonna follow you around asking can we, they're bored.
• 18:21
  Ellen: Yes.
• 18:22
  Christie: And they Exactly.
• 18:23
  Christie: Because
• 18:23
  Cheryl: yeah, we, as we've said before, and everybody knows, screens entertain us.
• 18:27
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 18:28
  Cheryl: One time I was talking with someone, they said, well, why would you say that?
• 18:30
  Cheryl: Go.
• 18:31
  Cheryl: Why is it easier to watch a movie than to read the book?
• 18:34
  Cheryl: And they go, that's true.
• 18:36
  Cheryl: And I actually, somewhere there's a, you know, everybody has statistics and everything.
• 18:41
  Cheryl: The different level of energy it takes to watch a movie compared to just reading something.
• 18:49
  Cheryl: It's an incredible...
• 18:51
  Cheryl: And that's just physical, but mental energy, emotional energy.
• 18:55
  Cheryl: So, the compassion I have for parents weaning themselves off.
• 18:59
  Cheryl: Or kids, I like the idea of what you said, Ellen.
• 19:02
  Cheryl: Good, positive things that they would enjoy instead of saying, No, we're going to count rocks.
• 19:08
  Cheryl: Right.
• 19:08
  Cheryl: Instead of watching, you know, Spongebob Squarepants.
• 19:12
  Cheryl: Uh huh.
• 19:12
  Cheryl: I don't know, do they still have him?
• 19:14
  Cheryl: Yes, they do.
• 19:14
  Cheryl: I'm sure
• 19:15
  Christie: you'll find him
• 19:16
  Cheryl: somewhere.
• 19:16
  Cheryl: But that's what I mean.
• 19:17
  Cheryl: Not.
• 19:18
  Cheryl: To take that hard approach.
• 19:19
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 19:19
  Cheryl: Very understanding approach and look for fun things
• 19:22
  Christie: to do.
• 19:23
  Christie: Right.
• 19:23
  Christie: I knew a family who had a, they had a little bit older kids, I think upper middle school, high school, and they were trying to be intentional in this area.
• 19:30
  Christie: And they had a competition to see who could have the least amount of screen time in a day.
• 19:35
  Christie: And I thought that was kind of a fun spin on things.
• 19:37
  Christie: You know, parents were included in
• 19:38
  Cheryl: that.
• 19:38
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 19:39
  Cheryl: Well, we've talked kind of about in positive ways.
• 19:42
  Cheryl: And one of the things that, um, Yeah.
• 19:45
  Cheryl: I've had parents concerned, and I've had professionals that have talked to me about it, and it's how do you know when it's really an unhealthy response to screens?
• 19:57
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 19:57
  Cheryl: Um, you know, like, there's the word addiction, but not even addiction, how would you know if this is a normal response about it?
• 20:06
  Cheryl: A dependence.
• 20:06
  Cheryl: or something unhealthy A lot of times, I've...
• 20:11
  Ellen: You know, since my children are all old and gone now, but, but I can remember friends who the parents would turn off the TV or the screens and the kid would have a meltdown.
• 20:22
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 20:23
  Ellen: So that's a big sign, you know, that they couldn't just.
• 20:26
  Ellen: move away and do something else..
• 20:28
  Christie: Oh, I think I think we all know our kids and we know what their their tantrums or their reaction look like and what we can gauge the extent of their emotion and so you might just think of that too, like, when they're asked to turn the video game off is the response I'm seeing something that I would expect to see or is it something that seems very aggressive?
• 20:52
  Cheryl: It's really good.
• 20:53
  Cheryl: I think.
• 20:54
  Cheryl: Maybe the word would be disproportionate.
• 20:56
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 20:58
  Cheryl: Oh, yeah, I'm sure if I'm doing something I enjoy and someone stops me, I'm not happy.
• 21:03
  Cheryl: But is it an unhealthy response You're seeing with little ones or big ones.
• 21:08
  Cheryl: Because I have moms that talk to me all the time about their teens and video games.
• 21:14
  Cheryl: And they go, how do I know if it's moved into the unhealthy?
• 21:17
  Cheryl: And I think that disproportionate response.
• 21:20
  Cheryl: Also.
• 21:21
  Cheryl: If you find that they're lying about it, yeah, sneaking,
• 21:25
  Ellen: sneaking to get it
• 21:26
  Cheryl: on, really to tell you there's something more here than just missing a game, right?
• 21:32
  Cheryl: Or enjoying checking your screens and devices or they
• 21:36
  Ellen: can't figure out how to engage in something new, Of something to do because they're so used to having screen
• 21:43
  Christie: time.
• 21:43
  Christie: Right, or their interests start changing.
• 21:46
  Christie: Where there things that they used to enjoy doing and now they've got this new game or this new app that they're really being
• 21:54
  Cheryl: consumed by.
• 21:55
  Cheryl: And I know that's typical, like I've had parents approach me many times, particularly about their younger teen sons saying they're obsessed with this.
• 22:07
  Cheryl: Okay, so obsession, it comes with the age.
• 22:10
  Cheryl: They enjoy it.
• 22:11
  Cheryl: This is the new whatever.
• 22:13
  Cheryl: game that just came out or whatever is the mom you don't know I'm on the 300th level of so that's youthful enthusiasm
• 22:21
  Christie: and in the beginning there's going to be some of that if it's a new thing for them
• 22:25
  Cheryl: but like the lying the really having a very strong reaction all those things I would be concerned about those I
• 22:32
  Ellen: Yeah, that's good.
• 22:33
  Cheryl: We're out of time today.
• 22:34
  Cheryl: We kind of waded in the water of maybe begin here and then we can come back going to do that and say, here's some more practical steps
• 22:42
  Christie: right?
• 22:43
  Christie: Well, I think
• 22:43
  Ellen: first steps is what we kind of talked about in the beginning.
• 22:47
  Ellen: Maybe for a week or two, you kind of watch your family's habits and see, actually see for a fact how much screen time.
• 22:55
  Ellen: there is, what kids are using the most screen time, how much you use, because that'll kind of set up, okay, how's this going to look as we start to change our habits?
• 23:06
  Christie: Right.
• 23:07
  Christie: Just being more mindful and, and asking yourself so that you can communicate to your kids, why is this even important?
• 23:13
  Christie: Why should I be motivated to work in this area?
• 23:16
  Cheryl: That's a good question.
• 23:17
  Cheryl: Instead of saying, oh no, this is another big thing I have to do in parenting, but to Be excited that maybe this is an area we want to reclaim and use for different things and to take control as a parent.
• 23:32
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 23:32
  Ellen: Yeah
• 23:33
  Christie: And remembering, too, that even though you're going to get some resistance from your kids as you're making these changes, it really is a gift that you're giving your kids to take into their adulthood.
• 23:42
  Christie: Excellent.
• 23:43
  Cheryl: So with that, parents, we would say, remember, hang in there.
• 23:48
  Cheryl: Keep loving.
• 23:49
  Cheryl: Keep persevering because it's worth it.
• 23:52
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 23:58
  Today, we've been investigating a number of the facets of the complexities of the cyber universe and its impact on families.
• 24:07
  I encourage you to reflect on how you can foster open dialogues about digital goals and values within your own family.
• 24:18
  I'd love to hear and learn from your journey.
• 24:21
  Just reach out to us on our website, through social media, or simply text CONTACT at theparentingpodcast.
• 24:30
  com.
• 24:31
  As we've emphasized from the start, the complexity of this issue can really feel discouraging, so it's essential to grant yourself grace as you grow.
• 24:43
  Learn and adapt.
• 24:46
  Just like the rest of life, this is a continual process as well that evolves over time as you and your family matures and as technology advances.
• 24:59
  Be sure to join us in the upcoming episodes where we'll guide you through the process of crafting a personalized family media plan to help your family thrive in this digital age.
• 25:11
  Thank you for being a part of our TPP community.
• 25:15
  Until next time, remember that you have the capability to utilize technology to nurture and steward your family with love, knowledge, connections, and intentionality.
• 25:29
  I look forward to having you with us again next time at the Parenting Podcast.