Latest / Relish: a Christian podcast / Why Self-Control Is the Most Misunderstood Fruit of the Spirit

Transcript

Why Self-Control Is the Most Misunderstood Fruit of the Spirit · Relish: a Christian podcast

• 0:02
  Relish pleasing or zestful flavor a quantity
• 0:05
  just sufficient to flavor to be pleased or
• 0:08
  gratified by enjoy we are hoping that what we bring to your table today might
• 0:13
  add some spice to your life welcome back to another episode of relish i'm roe
• 0:19
  miller this is pastor don patterson don how are you doing today present doing
• 0:24
  well yeah yeah we're doing fine we've gotten over most of the holidays.
• 0:28
  Yep. Yeah. It's Christmas and the new year. So we gained a little,
• 0:31
  yeah. Yeah. We're easier to see now.
• 0:36
  Maybe you had to. Bigger. Maybe you got bumped up a belt loop or two.
• 0:41
  Yeah. Pie. Light pie. I like pie.
• 0:46
  Oh, man. Should we start out with your question first? Let's go for it.
• 0:49
  If you were called as a missionary anywhere in the world, where would you go?
• 0:56
  Um i had went to guatemala as
• 0:59
  for salt at hillcrest and i i enjoyed
• 1:03
  it there so maybe i would maybe go
• 1:05
  back to there it was warm yep it's yeah and at night it was cooler so like not
• 1:12
  everywhere had ac so it wasn't you weren't really hot at night but yeah good
• 1:18
  not too hot at night not too hot during the day, but warmer than here, I bet.
• 1:23
  Yeah, it was, yeah. Yeah.
• 1:26
  No, it is where we were in Guatemala is up in the mountains,
• 1:30
  so it didn't get extremely hot or extremely cold ever.
• 1:35
  Or during the summer. Sounds like a good place to live. Someplace that doesn't
• 1:38
  get too much of either. Yeah. Although in Iowa, you know, we get plenty of beach. Oh, yeah.
• 1:43
  Yeah. We had a couple 50 degree days and the next day it snows and it's like
• 1:48
  20 degrees. Yep. Yep. Yep.
• 1:52
  Ah, Iowa. If you don't like the weather, just wait a while. It'll change.
• 1:59
  Well last time we worked on uh the fruits of the spirit and i uh what was interesting
• 2:05
  is as i prepared this time i had all my preparation done and then i found this
• 2:10
  article in one of my books here's a two-page article on the fruits of the spirit
• 2:15
  so after now that we're done,
• 2:18
  i rose publishing last one yeah i think it's rose publishing puts out this,
• 2:23
  uh yeah rose book of bible charts maps and
• 2:26
  timelines and i picked it up not long ago just you
• 2:30
  know liking simple references and then able to
• 2:33
  maybe share those references with somebody else who's looking
• 2:36
  to build their bible library yeah it's good so when it when it goes through
• 2:41
  and talks about self-control that's an interesting word because when we think
• 2:44
  of self-control oh yeah it's sort of oh well i'm not going to do that right
• 2:50
  that kind of thing yeah maybe Maybe not one more slice of pie.
• 2:54
  Maybe we, boy, you had to hit that one. Yeah.
• 2:59
  I had my share of pie too, but I know I didn't. I ate a whole pecan pie myself. Oh, wow.
• 3:07
  Oh my. Well, self-control in the NIV would be temperance in the King James version.
• 3:14
  Actually temperance probably is as good as any translation of, uh,
• 3:20
  uh, it's, it, it, and so it goes back to the Kratos, which is strength.
• 3:28
  Okay. And then it goes to Ekratos, which is the strength to control.
• 3:34
  And so we're thinking like, uh, RC cars, you know, you've got the strength to
• 3:37
  control or on the football field, you've got the strength to control,
• 3:41
  uh, that end of the dominate, you know, dominate that end of the field.
• 3:46
  And uh so it's strength to
• 3:48
  control and then when you get to this version equates
• 3:52
  it is the strength to
• 3:56
  control yourself so you start with strength then it's the strength to control
• 4:02
  which sounds like dominating which right and then how can you dominate yourself
• 4:07
  so then that begins to help us understand uh the idea of self-control is to...
• 4:18
  It's not to overwhelm somebody else, but it's to take care of ourselves.
• 4:23
  So, uh, uh, I liken it to, uh, a governor.
• 4:28
  Yeah. On an engine. Uh, we had a Ford tractor when I was a kid and we used that
• 4:34
  as our auxiliary tractor and I hauled manure with it.
• 4:37
  And all of a sudden, one time I was going down the hill and these little balls
• 4:42
  came out of the side of the tractor.
• 4:44
  And all of a sudden I had all the acceleration I could do, you know,
• 4:48
  and I was hauling manure.
• 4:50
  And what happened was the balls came out of the governor.
• 4:53
  And so it had no governor. Okay. And so all the acceleration you could get out
• 4:58
  of an 8-in tractor. I mean, that's not a lot.
• 5:02
  And dad, when I got back to the house, dad took duct tape.
• 5:08
  So oil didn't fly out and we could at least finish.
• 5:14
  Right. Pauling manure. But he said, be careful because without any governor,
• 5:21
  that engine could destroy itself.
• 5:24
  And in the same way, without self-control, we could destroy ourselves.
• 5:32
  And we see that in our society quite often in the kind of addictions that get
• 5:37
  into people's lives. Right.
• 5:42
  And the cop-out thing that's going on in our society right now,
• 5:45
  well, this is just who I am.
• 5:48
  You know, just take me as, it's almost as if we have to cater to those who are
• 5:55
  not self-controlled and provide safe spaces for them to not be self-controlled.
• 6:03
  And I'm not sure that's really responsible society.
• 6:07
  We have addictions in our society and we have cravings. You know, like pecan pie. Right.
• 6:18
  And I think sometimes we need to address the fact that those kinds of behaviors
• 6:24
  might have something deeper that needs to be addressed.
• 6:29
  There might be a, maybe there's been a wound, a, I don't know,
• 6:39
  I'm trying to think, an abuse maybe that has happened.
• 6:44
  Sometimes for security. I've dealt with cases where people are really insecure
• 6:49
  and they feel so much more secure if they have something they could eat.
• 6:53
  And so that becomes a security to them to have something on the table ready to eat.
• 6:59
  And they go by and munch a little bit of it. And it becomes a security to them.
• 7:03
  Often goes back to the infant. As a child, they had security by having a bottle. Right.
• 7:12
  Um, so those kinds of cravings actually have a deeper root that need to be dealt
• 7:17
  with, but self-control is still a fruit of the spirit.
• 7:21
  It's something that needs to be, well, if you can't get to self-control,
• 7:25
  how can you do the other fruits?
• 7:29
  I mean, how, what is your faith all about?
• 7:32
  If you can't, don't have any control over your own instincts and your own cravings, um.
• 7:40
  Interestingly enough, a couple other places in the Bible, self-control is talked
• 7:45
  about, like Proverbs 29, verse 11.
• 7:49
  It says, a fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.
• 7:55
  And boy, that's right. You know, if you're going to be self-controlled,
• 8:00
  it's going to be most evident in those situations where somebody else would
• 8:06
  have fallen off the wagon or flown into a rage.
• 8:11
  And that's where self-control actually becomes evident.
• 8:15
  In Titus 2, verses 11 and 12, Paul writes, for the grace of God that brings
• 8:21
  salvation has appeared to all men.
• 8:23
  It teaches us to say no to ungodliness and worldly passions and to live self-controlled,
• 8:32
  upright, and godly lives in the present age.
• 8:37
  And that's sort of, I think the reason it ends there with self-control is the
• 8:43
  fact that, hey, Christians, we're supposed to have some self-control,
• 8:48
  some control over ourselves.
• 8:51
  And it's hard.
• 8:55
  I mean, it'd be easier to just fly away with our emotions.
• 9:00
  Interesting, this temperance piece is.
• 9:05
  Reminds me of that Carrie lady, you know, who had the axe, went to all the beer
• 9:12
  joints and whacked them up, you know, and was absolutely against any alcohol.
• 9:17
  And today as Christians, you know,
• 9:23
  temperance is still talked about.
• 9:28
  I still go the route that if I can't trust myself with something, why would I indulge?
• 9:36
  And so I don't drink because I'm not sure I have the self-control in that area.
• 9:43
  The other side of the coin is I've never tried it.
• 9:47
  And so I don't know. Maybe I do have self-control in that area.
• 9:51
  You don't need to know either. Right. I don't need to go looking. Right.
• 9:57
  And I think sometimes our Amish brothers have that down pat.
• 10:03
  They don't get into the stuff and then they don't know what they're missing and God bless them.
• 10:09
  The other side of the coin, I've worked with addicts and individuals who've
• 10:12
  had to get out from under, uh, their addiction, whether it was, uh,
• 10:17
  to drugs or alcohol or pornography or other things. And it's a rough road.
• 10:25
  Yeah. And, uh.
• 10:28
  If you're dealing with one of those aspects, even if you indulge a great deal
• 10:34
  of eating, find somebody who you can talk that through with.
• 10:40
  I'm amazed at how healing prayer works in those situations.
• 10:44
  And you could go to the DeeperWalk website,
• 10:50
  and over there in the corner, they actually have people all across the United
• 10:54
  States who are doing healing prayer and they might be able to help you with that.
• 11:01
  I found that as one of the tools that's probably worked most successfully in
• 11:06
  those cases to break those kinds of behaviors.
• 11:09
  Temperance, self-control, a fruit of the spirit, Which means,
• 11:15
  then, if the Spirit is in us, we will desire self-control.
• 11:21
  We will want to produce self-control in our lives. Just like all those other
• 11:26
  sweet fruits that are part of the fruits of the Spirit.
• 11:29
  Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
• 11:33
  gentleness, and self-control. Yeah.
• 11:37
  So those deeper roots of things that can lead to our struggle in self-control,
• 11:43
  you just mentioned like addiction or abuse or something, other things like that.
• 11:49
  What is the first step for people to step their step towards self-control?
• 11:56
  Well, the first step is to talk about it. I mean, if it's a sin and you believe
• 12:02
  it's a sin, you're missing the mark with God, talk to somebody. Confess your sins.
• 12:06
  He's faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
• 12:12
  The second piece would be in that conversation then, what does freedom look like?
• 12:19
  So if this craving is causing you to gain 30 pounds every year,
• 12:23
  then you might want to talk to somebody who could deal with that. Um,
• 12:28
  I'd go the low key. I'm finding that the listening prayer piece,
• 12:33
  I've got people who we can do that with.
• 12:36
  And it's nice to have a team on site here in Kelowna who are able to do listening prayer.
• 12:43
  That's where I turn for anything I have in that area.
• 12:49
  Um then they often will
• 12:52
  be able to if it's something that doesn't take care
• 12:55
  of it that way uh we have resources to go farther yeah so it's um i i would
• 13:04
  first just find that person who cares enough to listen to you and talk about
• 13:09
  it yeah i that's always my first go-to find somebody who cares enough to listen.
• 13:18
  It's something we can do as a church, and as brothers and sisters in Christ,
• 13:23
  we can listen to one another.
• 13:25
  And often I find in those conversations, God might uniquely reveal in the conversation
• 13:33
  who might be the next step to engage,
• 13:37
  maybe a pastor, maybe it'll be a resource person, uh,
• 13:41
  with special giftings, a counselor.
• 13:44
  Uh, I guess some of these things that we talked about, uh,
• 13:52
  You could address this behaviorally, like through a mental health counselor
• 13:57
  and behavior modification.
• 14:02
  And I've done some of that in the past with different people.
• 14:06
  I'm just finding that if we check off the spiritual root or the Marcus Warner,
• 14:14
  we'd call it a wound of the heart.
• 14:18
  That some of these things are rooted in a wounded heart.
• 14:22
  And so if you can take care of that heart wound, it's interesting how quickly
• 14:27
  it starts to take care of the other, the addiction, the behavior.
• 14:33
  If you take care of the wound first, yeah, you might want to do some behavior modification as well.
• 14:39
  But the spiritual things, if we took care of the spiritual things first,
• 14:44
  then the behavioral things often fall into line.
• 14:48
  Yeah. So I just suggest that.
• 14:52
  It's less impactful than it.
• 14:59
  So I watch these influencers on podcasts. You watch influencers.
• 15:05
  So one of the influencers was talking about how you lose weight.
• 15:13
  And he was advocating, don't go and lose weight according to a diet that is miserable.
• 15:19
  Because if the diet's miserable, you won't stay on it. Right? Yeah.
• 15:24
  But he said, just go for what you'd like to eat. Just eat less of it.
• 15:31
  Eat at a time of day when it's good and you're going to celebrate that meal.
• 15:34
  And then he says that works much better.
• 15:38
  Right. If you're eating what you enjoy eating, but, and it's not a real burden
• 15:43
  to be on the diet, more likely you're going to keep on the diet. Right.
• 15:47
  And then you can have self-control. Yeah. Yeah.
• 15:52
  Yeah. So he was teaching behavior modification, of course, but I thought that was effective.
• 16:00
  We don't have to be miserable. Did you know that? We don't have to be miserable.
• 16:03
  It's not a necessary thing.
• 16:06
  Yeah. Even to be self-controlled, we don't have to be miserable. Right.
• 16:12
  God's got this. Yes, he does. Very good, Don. Thank you for the self-control.
• 16:18
  I believe that is our last fruit of the Spirit, is it?
• 16:22
  I think so. I think so. And if you think we've missed one, give us a ring back and let us know.
• 16:28
  It's been interesting to study them together with different versions and notice
• 16:32
  that they're sort of in different order in different versions because of the translation.
• 16:37
  And yeah, I think we've hit them all. Yeah. But, you know. We've kind of flipped
• 16:42
  back and forth between translations.
• 16:45
  Yeah. Yeah. We're hoping we did, but. Yeah. We meant to get them all.
• 16:49
  We didn't mean to miss any.
• 16:51
  Right. But I surely wanted to make sure self-control is part of it. Yeah.
• 16:55
  Yeah. Let us know if we missed any and let us know how you like the series of
• 17:00
  the fruits of the spirit. Yeah.
• 17:02
  We can do more intentional stuff. Maybe what else we could do with that.
• 17:06
  Yeah. And of course, we always like your questions. Right.
• 17:09
  Although, get them to them instead of to me. Otherwise, I'll know ahead of time.
• 17:13
  You cannot know about them.
• 17:14
  Yeah. The comic relief is I'm not supposed to know. Yeah.
• 17:18
  Yeah. We play full Don. But I don't win very much.
• 17:24
  Oh, the guys got me on Saturday morning. The guys in the Bible study got me
• 17:28
  on Saturday morning. Good for them. It can be done.
• 17:34
  He is human. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. I bleed.
• 17:40
  All righty. Thank you guys for joining us. Hope you enjoyed it and we'll see
• 17:44
  you next time. Lord willing.
• 17:48
  Thank you for joining us for this podcast feel free to become part of this ministry
• 17:52
  by sharing with others our goal is to help each other grow deeper in our understanding
• 17:56
  of who god is and is calling to us in our daily lives thank you again for joining
• 18:01
  us and may god bless your day.