Latest / Unbalanced with Cerys Davage / 52. My relationship to my body

Transcript

52. My relationship to my body · Unbalanced with Cerys Davage

0:10
Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of Unbalanced with Me,
0:14
Kara Savage. How are we all?
0:16
Hope you've all been enjoying the lovely sun that we've been
0:19
having over the past few weeks. I am so happy that we are well
0:24
and truly into spring, summer now.
0:27
You know, the weather's been so nice.
0:29
I've been able to come out of my hibernation a little bit.
0:33
And yeah, I guess we've got a lot to catch up on.
0:36
But first of all, I have some exciting news.
0:39
So I have been nominated for a national Diversity Award.
0:44
The link is in the description of this episode.
0:47
You can also find it in my bio on Instagram and all my social
0:52
medias. But yeah, so I've been nominated
0:54
for a positive role model award for disability and I'm honestly
0:59
so honoured that I've been recognised in that way and that
1:03
people have, you know, taken some time to vote for me and to
1:07
write some really lovely things about the podcast.
1:09
It's really opened my eyes to how much the podcast is helping
1:13
people. And yeah, I don't think I fully
1:17
grasped how big the podcast was and how much of an impact it had
1:21
until this nomination and until, you know, I saw the votes come
1:24
in and I'm just so wanted to be recognised.
1:27
It's a big category with some amazing people.
1:30
And yeah, to be recognised and to be shortlisted would really,
1:34
really mean a lot to me. So if you guys want to help me
1:37
get on the shortlist. The voting closes on May 14th.
1:41
So you still have some time to cast your vote.
1:44
Just take a little minute out of your day to cast your vote for
1:47
and it would really, really mean so much.
1:49
And I'd love to hear, you know, how unbalanced has impacted you
1:53
as well. It would be really nice to hear.
1:55
I really appreciate all the feedback that you guys have
1:58
given me for my podcast over the past few weeks.
2:01
You know, the episode with my parents had some really good
2:04
feedback. I'm really, really happy with
2:06
how that one turned out. I have looked forward to putting
2:09
that out for so long. So I'm really happy that, you
2:12
know, you guys like it and I honestly want to do another one.
2:17
But yeah, if you guys have any guests that you want to see on
2:20
the podcast or any topics, then please, as always, just let me
2:24
know. Give me a message on Unbalanced
2:26
on Instagram, which is growing and growing.
2:29
I'm absolutely loving the community that's going on over
2:32
there. So if you guys don't already
2:33
follow me on Instagram, it's at Unbalanced podcast.
2:37
I guess a lot has been going on since I last did a solo episode
2:41
because obviously the episode with my parents was kind of
2:44
instead of a solo episode. So what have you guys missed?
2:48
A couple months ago, I think it was a couple months ago now, I
2:52
did a news story about PIP and I know that it's quite a scary
2:58
time right now in the UK and in America as well, you know, with
3:02
a lot of disability benefits being cut.
3:05
It is quite a scary time. And if you guys are affected by
3:08
what's going on, then I really do advise you to reach out to a
3:13
charity or to just seek some help from someone that you
3:16
trust. And you know, there's plenty of
3:18
accounts online that are raising awareness and are helping people
3:24
get through this tough time together because, you know,
3:27
we're all in this together. With everything that's been
3:29
going on, I guess it was good timing for me to do a story
3:33
about PIP and looking at the reapplication process,
3:38
especially people like me with degenerative conditions that
3:42
won't get better. You know that the option
3:44
shouldn't be there for the PIP to get taken away from.
3:47
I guess want to shout out to everyone that was involved in
3:50
the story. Craig was the case study and
3:52
Craig's been on this podcast and he spoke so well and in Welsh as
3:56
well. So that's amazing and I'm really
3:59
glad that I was able to just use my work for good and raise some
4:04
disability awareness as well. Also at the beginning of March I
4:08
was very kindly invited by Muscular Dystrophy UK to go and
4:12
speak at one of their information days.
4:14
So I went up to Birmingham for the day and there were lots of
4:18
amazing speakers there and I got to share a bit of my story.
4:22
And the topic that I chose was finding strength in self
4:26
advocacy, which is obviously a really important topic and not
4:29
something I've always grasped the importance of.
4:33
So yeah, that was really good. And I met some lovely people,
4:38
people that had already heard of my podcast and made a lot of new
4:41
connections as well. So it was really lovely.
4:44
And I, I'm really grateful to ND UK for putting on these events
4:48
so that, you know, they can bring people together because,
4:51
you know, these connections are the most valuable.
4:54
So yeah, I'm very happy that I got to do that.
4:57
It was, it was really great and definitely a highlight for this
5:00
year so far. I also was very kindly gifted a
5:04
trip by the Willow Foundation, who are a charity in an
5:09
organisation who help people with chronic illnesses to just
5:13
give them a special day, they call it.
5:15
So it can be a little trip, it can be a gift box, it can be a
5:20
day out, you know, anything you want.
5:22
And I chose to go for a long weekend away in the Cotswolds
5:27
with Tristan and it was lovely, really nice view.
5:31
We stayed in a hotel that like looked over a lake.
5:34
It was so, so beautiful and yeah, it was just really nice to
5:39
switch off for a bit, explore the local area.
5:41
I also went to Bista Village for the first time and I get it.
5:45
Like I get like, you know, because it's really beautiful
5:48
and there's lots of amazing shops there, but you don't get
5:50
bargains there. You know, I got a couple of
5:53
bargains from like, you know, the normal stores, but honestly,
5:57
the place is huge and all the shops are still extremely
6:02
expensive. So I would go with that in mind
6:06
if you do end up going to Bicester Village.
6:08
Yeah, I did like it, but I don't think I would go back.
6:11
I did so much walking and that day honestly took a knock on
6:16
effect for the rest of my week. I really struggled with my
6:20
energy and my walking for the rest of that week because I did
6:23
so much on that day in Bicester Village.
6:26
Also, if you do think of going, don't go on a weekend because we
6:30
went on a Monday and it was like a normal amount of busy, but
6:32
apparently on the weekends there's just queues everywhere
6:35
and you can barely move and it sounds really chaotic.
6:39
But yeah, we had a lovely time at the hotel.
6:42
There was a pool, we ate some lovely food and I just want to
6:46
thank the Willow Foundation for giving us that lovely experience
6:50
and for also sending me a nice little gift box afterwards as
6:53
well, full of nice little SK goodies.
6:56
Something else that's happened a bit more recently is that I
6:59
hosted an event for the first time.
7:02
I Co hosted a little Coffee morning with Catherine from
7:07
Powerful Sisterhood Cardiff and she hosts events every month and
7:13
they can range from little coffee dates to brunches to kind
7:18
of book get togethers, sip and paint, you know.
7:21
She does lots of different events and we got chatting on
7:24
Instagram and we thought it would be really nice to bring
7:28
our communities together so it was lovely.
7:31
We hosted a nice little coffee event and I met some lovely
7:34
women and yeah, I absolutely loved it.
7:38
And if you do want to see a little sneak peek of it.
7:41
And another bit of news that I have is that I've started doing
7:44
videos outside of my podcast. I've started doing vlogs, like
7:50
video blogs. I know I'm officially a YouTuber
7:54
now, don't worry, I'm absolutely not.
7:56
But I just thought, you know, I've got all the equipment and
7:59
I'm a very chatty person and I'd love to kind of showcase my life
8:03
outside of my podcast rather than just always talk about it.
8:07
So I'm going to try out doing YouTube for a bit.
8:10
So if you haven't already checked out that video, it's on
8:14
YouTube, obviously you'll find it on my channel.
8:18
And I just took you guys along with me that weekend.
8:23
I took you guys to different places and kind of showed behind
8:26
the scenes of, you know, me being independent that weekend
8:30
and also hosting that event. You get to see a bit of the
8:33
event as well. So yeah, if you do want to check
8:36
that out, please do and let me know what you thought of it.
8:40
Let me know if you do want to see any other YouTube videos.
8:44
I've really enjoyed doing that and editing it and it's been
8:48
really fun to kind of do something outside of my podcast
8:50
for once. So yeah, let me know.
8:52
I don't know how often they're going to be because obviously my
8:55
podcast is my main priority. But yeah, I might, I might do
8:59
more, who knows? Let me know.
9:01
I hope you all had a lovely Easter as well because I am pre
9:05
recording this but by the time this comes out Easter would have
9:08
happened. So I hope you had a lovely
9:10
little time off over Easter. I'll be going up north to see a
9:15
lot of Tristan's family and it'll be really nice to spend
9:18
some time with them. Obviously, by the time this
9:20
comes out, I would have already done that.
9:24
But another thing that's happening soon, at the end of
9:26
this month actually, when you're listening to this, I'll be an
9:29
island with my choir. And as you guys know, one of my
9:34
greatest hobbies is singing with my choir.
9:37
Yeah. We're setting off to complete in
9:40
an annual Celtic competition, and I've never been there
9:44
before. It's in Carlo, which is like an
9:47
hour outside of Dublin, I want to say.
9:49
So I'll let you know how it goes.
9:50
I do hope it goes well. I am hoping to take my
9:53
wheelchair. I wasn't going to, but then some
9:56
people in the choir asked me if I was.
9:59
And I was like, you know what, I've really struggled in the
10:01
past with doing competitions with my choir and really
10:05
struggling with all The Walking and standing around.
10:08
So I'm going to take my wheelchair and it's going to
10:11
Take Me Out of my comfort zone for sure, because I've only
10:15
really used my wheelchair with my family and I haven't really
10:19
used it outside of just my family or actually I have.
10:22
I took it to nice with my friends, but I'm a little bit
10:25
more comfortable with them. But these are people that, you
10:27
know, they're a mix of friends. They're a mix of new people that
10:31
I'm still getting to know. And there's like a lot of us in
10:34
this choir now. So it's going to be like a huge
10:37
thing to take my wheelchair with all these people and obviously
10:41
have to depend on them to maybe push me or, you know, help me in
10:45
different ways and just be understanding of that.
10:48
And they know, I think everyone knows that I've got disability
10:51
because when we practise every week in choir in, when everyone
10:56
else stands up, I just remain sitting down.
10:59
So they do kind of know that there's something going on, but
11:01
I don't think a lot of them know that I have a wheelchair.
11:03
So it's kind of scary. But I think I need to just get
11:06
out of my head about it and just enjoy the weekend without
11:11
stressing about, you know, I know the wheelchair will be
11:13
there to help me and I will struggle if I don't bring it.
11:16
So fingers crossed it all goes OK and that the flight goes well
11:21
with the wheelchair. And I will obviously let you
11:23
know how it goes afterwards. Definitely keep an eye on my
11:26
Instagram though, because I'm sure I'll be posting updates on
11:29
there as well. Right, That is more than enough
11:32
chatting for now. Let's get into today's topic.
11:36
And I just want to give you guys a little warning that it's going
11:40
to be an extremely personal topic and it is quite a
11:43
triggering topic for a lot of people.
11:45
So I just want to warn now before we get into today's
11:49
topic, which is body image. And it is something that we all
11:54
struggle with. It's something we we've all had
11:56
our experiences with. And I just thought I'd share a
11:59
bit of my views on it as a celiac and as someone with LGMD,
12:04
but also as a young woman. You know, like we all have our
12:09
struggles about the way that we look and the way that our bodies
12:12
have changed over the years. And I just thought it would be a
12:15
good episode to dive into just a little bit because I know that a
12:20
lot of you guys will be able to relate to it.
12:22
And I think it's good to talk about these kind of topics and
12:27
to be honest and to be transparent about these things
12:30
because it is something we all go through.
12:32
It's, you know, I know for a fact I'm not the only one who
12:35
worries about the way she looks. You know, I guess the only right
12:39
place to start is when I was younger, before my celiac
12:43
diagnosis. And you guys all know this by
12:45
now, but my arms and legs were really thin and my belly was
12:49
huge. And, you know, as a little kid
12:52
in school, you just want to fit in with other people.
12:55
And that immediately, you know, made me stand out.
12:59
And I feel bad for my parents because, you know, other kids
13:02
parents were probably questioning my parents as to
13:05
why, you know, they weren't nourishing me, I guess the why
13:09
they weren't looking after me. Well, you know, if I obviously
13:13
didn't have the correct body in that way, you know, I had a huge
13:17
belly. I looked pregnant.
13:18
I was bullied in school for it. I had an outie.
13:21
You know, my belly button stuck out because it was just so big.
13:25
And I always thought it would be that way.
13:26
You know, I always thought, you know, this is just the way my
13:28
body is because I didn't have a diagnosis.
13:31
I didn't know what was going on. And I thought, well, this is
13:35
going to be it now for the rest of my life, I'm always going to
13:37
have a big belly no matter how hard I try to get rid of it.
13:41
And I'm always going to have a belly button that sticks out.
13:44
And, you know, kids are mean at that age anyway.
13:46
But it was a difficult time. And, you know, I obviously just
13:49
really wanted to be like everyone else and I couldn't
13:52
because of the way that I looked.
13:53
And at that time there was no way to help it.
13:56
But obviously, very fortunately, I did get a diagnosis of celiac
14:01
disease later on and my belly did end up deflating.
14:05
But those years growing up immediately being separate from
14:09
other people did have a knock on effect, I'd say.
14:13
And sometimes, you know, even now, if I do eat gluten and I
14:16
get that kind of bloaty belly and I just feel really rubbish,
14:20
Like that really doesn't help. And it kind of takes me back to
14:23
that time. But I know that it's just
14:25
temporary. Obviously I know now that the
14:28
cure is a gluten free diet. Yeah.
14:30
So obviously that was cured eventually and my belly button
14:34
is no longer an outie. And that was one thing I was so
14:38
insecure about because when we would change for like pee or
14:42
something, all the girls would notice it and they'd talk about
14:45
it. And I just, I just wanted an any
14:48
like everyone else. I just wanted a belly button
14:50
that didn't stick out. But don't worry guys, it's all,
14:53
we're all good now. I'm there.
14:54
Finally, as soon as I had the LGMD diagnosis, I was given a
15:00
set of exercises to do to make sure that my calves were
15:04
stretched out enough. Because a common symptom that
15:08
was presented to my parents at the time of the diagnosis was
15:13
that I could maybe end up tiptoeing because my calf
15:16
muscles would be so tight that I wouldn't be able to put my heels
15:20
on the ground. So I was very strict with my
15:23
calf stretching, but I was also warned that my calf muscles
15:27
might appear bigger than the average calf muscle.
15:31
And I never really noticed a difference because I knew how I
15:36
looked. And I didn't compare my calves
15:38
to anyone else because, you know, that's such a random thing
15:41
to compare. And it wasn't until I was
15:45
approached once that I even noticed that my calf muscles
15:49
were bigger than anyone else's. I didn't really think that they
15:52
were, but I was approached once by a boy in my year in school
15:56
who just came up to me and randomly said, why your calf
15:59
muscles so big? And from that moment, I've never
16:04
looked at my legs the same. And this boy probably doesn't
16:08
even know who he is. He doesn't remember that
16:10
conversation at all. But things like that really do
16:12
stick with you when they affect you in that way.
16:15
I never considered my legs to be big, but as soon as he asked me
16:19
that, I saw myself in a completely different way.
16:23
I looked down and I was like, yeah, my calf muscles are huge.
16:27
Why are they so big? I wish I could just kind of
16:29
deflate them a little bit, you know, why they're so big.
16:32
But that's just because my muscles are different from other
16:34
people's. And it's just the way he asked
16:37
that. And he's probably harmless
16:38
because, you know, he's just a school kid.
16:41
But that really stuck with me. And that immediately made me
16:43
realise, oh, OK, I am different from other people.
16:46
And when I was growing up, then with my symptoms progressing, it
16:51
became more and more obvious that my right knee turned in
16:54
when I walked. And I quickly had to get used to
16:58
other comments from strangers, not even people in in my school
17:02
that I knew, but from strangers asking what was wrong.
17:05
And I just had that fear of judgement through kind of the
17:09
last few years of school that people would think that my legs
17:14
were really weird because, one, my calf muscles were big and
17:17
two, my right knee would turn in.
17:20
I also had those falls as well. So there was a lot going on with
17:22
my legs. And I didn't really think about
17:25
the rest of my body at that point.
17:27
It was more just my legs. And at that point I was going to
17:30
the gym. I was still able to run.
17:32
So I think the rest of my body was still quite fit.
17:35
There was just nothing I could do to help my legs.
17:39
Yeah. So that was, I guess that was
17:41
just a little bit frustrating as someone that's a teenager and
17:46
just wants to fit in with everyone.
17:48
Luckily at that point, though, I had a pretty flat stomach.
17:51
And this is every girl's dream to have a flat stomach.
17:54
Every person's dream probably. But unfortunately, that doesn't
17:59
stick with you forever. When I was a teenager, and I
18:03
don't think my diet has changed that much, but when I was a
18:06
teenager, my metabolism was amazing.
18:09
It was so fast. And I almost never bloated
18:13
unless I, you know, ate something that made me bloated.
18:16
And if I certainly ate gluten. But most of the time I had a
18:20
really nice flat stomach and I was very happy with it.
18:24
And I was like, you know, I'm just one of those really lucky
18:26
girls with good genes. But that this, because I was
18:30
tiny, I was still a teenager. I was still quite small.
18:34
I was still short because of, you know, all the years of not
18:36
growing as a child before my celiac diagnosis.
18:40
But then you get older and then you realise that you're turning
18:43
into a woman and you're not going to have that teenager's
18:46
body anymore. And one thing that I now think
18:49
is really important is to always go through your clothes and just
18:53
always very regularly have like a clear out, especially when
18:58
you're transitioning from a teenager into an adult, you're
19:01
not going to fit into those clothes anymore.
19:04
And I felt really guilty at first because I was like, wow,
19:07
I'm like putting on weight that I like didn't even want to in
19:11
the 1st place. And I was really happy with my
19:13
size before, you know, in, in shops, I knew that I was like an
19:16
extra small. I knew that I was a small and
19:19
everything. But now looking back, I think
19:21
it's just because I was still not anaemic, but I was still
19:25
underweight. I was still struggling to catch
19:28
up with the years I've missed of growing.
19:30
So I think I was just still really underweight.
19:33
And every time I'd get measured by the doctor.
19:36
And that's another thing. If you've got a medical
19:38
condition, you're always at every single appointment going
19:41
to get your height and weight done.
19:43
And that was my way of always monitoring my measurements
19:47
because, you know, I had them done quite regularly anyway, so
19:50
I didn't need to do them at home.
19:52
And I'm actually, I'm quite glad I never depended on weighing
19:55
scales at home because I know that that can be a really
19:57
slippery slope. And my goal for ages was to just
20:01
gain weight because I was always like borderline underweight.
20:05
But I think because I was so used to my weight and the way I
20:07
looked back then as a teenager, when I did actually eventually
20:12
get to a healthy weight and get to a healthy size, I didn't like
20:16
that because I looked different and I couldn't fit into the
20:18
clothes that I did when I was underweight, you know?
20:22
I think it was pretty tough. And then, you know, suddenly I
20:25
didn't have the flatter stomach anymore.
20:27
I didn't have a toned stomach. And another thing about having
20:31
LGMD is that you can't build muscle, so you can't get ABS.
20:37
You can't have like, you know, bulging biceps or anything.
20:41
There's no way of strengthening your muscles.
20:43
It's obviously just maintaining what you have.
20:46
So I really wanted to stay toned in my stomach.
20:49
I wanted to stay and have like, borderline ABS, but then
20:52
eventually I would lose that strength and couldn't do the
20:57
core exercises that I was so used to doing to try and
21:00
maintain my toned stomach, if you will.
21:03
But yeah, you lose that and that strength and I can't do those
21:07
exercises anymore. And I was like, oh, no, that
21:09
means I'm going to gain weight. And the older I get, the more
21:13
I'm going to get weak and the more weight I'm going to put on
21:15
because I won't be able to, you know, balance it out with
21:18
exercise. But that's not the case at all.
21:21
I think I'm just growing into a woman and I need to just
21:25
appreciate that for a second. I need to appreciate that I am
21:27
at a healthy weight now. And I think what makes this even
21:31
more difficult is just social media.
21:33
And well, when I was younger, when I wasn't on social media,
21:37
magazines and TV, just seeing all these women all around me
21:42
and on social media, it just gives you the idealistic quotes,
21:48
way of how you're supposed to look just seeing all these body
21:52
types. But they were all the same, you
21:53
know, in magazines, on television, on social media,
21:57
they all had flat toned stomachs, tiny waists, big bums.
22:02
That was just the quote, ideal body type.
22:06
And that's the body type that we all wanted when we grew up, you
22:09
know, as young girls. So it's a hard pill to swallow
22:13
to know that you're not going to end up being like that.
22:16
But actually I think nowadays people are a lot more
22:19
comfortable with their own shapes and sizes.
22:22
Especially on social media, you see a lot more maybe plus size
22:26
women or women with just maybe bigger body types than just the
22:30
skinny models just showing off their normal body types and
22:34
making other people feel way more comfortable in their own
22:37
bodies. And there's a video that I will
22:40
never stop thinking about that Emma Thompson talks about in an
22:44
interview. She talks about that your body
22:47
is a vassal. Your body is your home, you
22:51
know, for your time on this earth and that you should take
22:54
care of it as best you can and not, not neglect it, not abuse
23:00
it, but just look after it because it is your vassal.
23:03
It's your home. I can hear her saying it right
23:06
now. If you haven't seen that clip,
23:08
definitely give it as Google because it really changed my
23:11
mindset of how I view my body. And especially with someone with
23:15
a muscle wasting condition that will only deteriorate, it's
23:20
really easy to beat yourself up for it and to just blame your
23:24
body and be like, oh, why can't I do the things that I used to
23:27
be able to do? Why can't I, you know, just have
23:30
a normal body for once? But I just need to keep
23:33
reminding myself my body is doing the best it can.
23:36
It's not my body's fault. It's not my fault that I have
23:39
this condition. It's no one's fault, really.
23:41
It's just chance and so I just need to make the most of my body
23:46
and look after it. You know, it's nice sometimes to
23:50
have like little self-care evenings, you know, after a
23:53
shower where you just take some time to, I don't know,
23:56
moisturise your body or to shave your legs or whatever it is.
24:01
Just kind of get to know your body, I guess.
24:06
I think that's really important just to just to love it a bit
24:09
more and to show that extra little self-care.
24:12
I'm all for self-care evenings. If you just put on a face mask
24:15
just for a bit, just to nourish your skin, or I'm talking like
24:19
some kind of specialist here right now, I'm really not.
24:21
But this is just my experience. I think taking that time to
24:25
really look after yourself is really important.
24:27
And you can do that in other ways, like what you eat, you
24:30
know, not just eating junk all the time, but it's OK sometimes.
24:33
But you know, I'm really trying to eat healthy because I know
24:36
that that is what's best for my body.
24:39
But it's also nice to treat yourself because you should
24:41
never deny yourself a treat just because you're afraid of how
24:46
that's going to change your body.
24:50
And I know this is easier said than done.
24:52
Like, I do want to address that because obviously a lot of
24:57
people do struggle with their bodies and the way that they
25:00
look. And they do think about calories
25:03
and the calorie count and they think about every little snack
25:07
that they consume. They think that, you know, they
25:10
just immediately think of how their body's going to change
25:13
because of that. I know everyone's relationship
25:15
to their body is different and I'm not denying that at all.
25:19
You know, it's really important to address that.
25:22
And I think it's important to always seek the right help if
25:26
you think you are struggling. Definitely reach out to a family
25:30
or friend if you are worried about the way that you look or
25:34
the way that you treat your body.
25:36
Yeah, your body is trying the best it can.
25:40
And it can sound a bit cliche, but yeah, it's just the most
25:45
important thing, isn't it? To just really appreciate what
25:49
you have and to just look after yourself because especially if
25:53
you've got a disability or a muscle wasting condition like
25:56
me, you know you're going to lose a lot of things anyway.
25:59
So you don't want to make that worse.
26:00
You want to just really look after your body as much as you
26:05
can. And that's why I try to keep
26:06
exercising as much as I can and not beat myself up if my routine
26:10
needs to change. And I guess the way I view my
26:15
calf muscles now, someone actually said to me whilst I was
26:18
in university like, wow, I love your legs.
26:21
They look so like strong, like I, I'm like trying to work out
26:25
right now to get my calves to look like yours.
26:29
And I, I was like, OK, that's kind of like made-up for that
26:33
comment that the boy said to me, you know, years ago in school,
26:37
questioning why I look like that.
26:39
You know, now someone wants to, someone wants to look like me.
26:42
So I think that that's kind of like healed that little part of
26:47
me, you know, of my childhood. I don't know, maybe it doesn't
26:51
really mean that much, but I think just actually getting a
26:54
compliment about something that you're insecure about really
26:56
does change the game a bit. Another thing I struggle with is
27:00
my skin. And once again, I don't have
27:03
acne or anything, you know, serious like that.
27:06
But you know, when you do get breakouts, I get a lot of
27:09
breakouts on my chin, especially in the winter or if I do swim a
27:14
lot, then I do get breakouts on my face.
27:17
And that's normal, you know, like everyone gets breakouts.
27:20
And once again, it's easy to see people on social media that have
27:25
perfect skin, but the reality is they probably don't.
27:28
They probably put those of makeup on or they have lots of
27:32
money to get facials done all the time or they use philtres.
27:36
You know, Instagram is so easy to change yourself.
27:39
Instagram can lie to you really easily.
27:43
So please don't believe everything you see on the
27:45
Internet. Don't believe that when someone
27:47
says that this piece of skin care, it like fix their skin.
27:52
It's probably a mix of other things and you know, a lot of
27:55
philtres as well. And because it's really easy to
27:58
do that now. So be careful of yourself out
28:01
there. And if it means taking some time
28:04
off social media to just to reset your mind a little bit and
28:10
to just appreciate your own self rather than constantly looking
28:14
at other people's bodies. And then once you look in the
28:16
mirror, you hate yourself. Just remember, you're the only
28:21
one that has to live in your body.
28:22
You know, other people might have their judgments, might have
28:26
their comments, but you're the one who has to live in your
28:28
body. And one thing I love is that if
28:33
someone is insecure about something, no one else is going
28:37
to know. And I love this trend that I saw
28:39
recently about like people posting pictures and they post
28:42
one picture of themselves and then in the next slide, they'd
28:46
say, oh, I bet you didn't realise that, you know, my teeth
28:48
look really weird and that, or that my arms look really weird
28:51
and that. And I would never know.
28:53
You know, people have their own insecurities, but the chances
28:56
are other people aren't even going to notice.
28:59
Like with my skin, if my skin is bad, then I'm probably just
29:04
overthinking it. But if other people do notice,
29:07
it's not like they don't have bad skin every now and again,
29:10
you know they're going to relate to that as well.
29:12
So if you do have insecurities, just know that other people have
29:16
insecurities as well. And if you're too afraid to
29:20
leave the house because of some insecurity, the important thing
29:24
to remember is that no one will notice because everyone is so
29:28
focused on their own insecurities that they won't
29:30
notice anyone else's. Everyone is so kind of self
29:35
involved in that way. And you're always going to be
29:38
jealous of something that someone else has or the way that
29:41
someone else looks, but they're never going to be happy.
29:44
You know, they're always jealous of other people.
29:46
So it's kind of a vicious cycle in that way.
29:49
So I think 2025 is the year where we just just focus on
29:53
ourselves and give ourselves some love.
29:57
Our bodies do change over time, whether or not you have a
30:00
disability or a chronic illness. We all go through changes and
30:04
there's no one to blame for different imperfections, but
30:08
those imperfections are what makes us unique.
30:10
And I hope that's not too cringy, but it's very true.
30:15
I think I've mentioned everything I wanted to and this
30:18
was a bit of a rant about just lots of different things, a mix
30:23
of my experiences and also what I've learnt over the past few
30:27
years. But yeah, the main thing is that
30:31
no one cares. Just do what you want, no one
30:34
cares. And the best we can do is to
30:37
just look after it as much as we can and not to overdo things
30:41
like I did on that walking Vista village.
30:43
I should have probably in hindsight just sat down for a
30:46
bit or brought my wheelchair. And, you know, embracing
30:49
mobility aids is also self-care and knowing that they are there
30:53
to help you and to give you more freedom and to make sure that
30:57
you don't end up in pain. So I'm going to embrace that
31:02
going forward. And not every day is going to be
31:05
easy. You know, I still really
31:06
struggle with the way that I look.
31:08
I still struggle with bloat. I still struggle with my legs.
31:13
You know, if I've had a bad day, if I've had a fall, I still
31:16
struggle. You know, I still beat myself up
31:18
mentally. I still worry about how big my
31:24
belly is, if I'm wearing an outfit that might enhance my
31:27
belly or something. If I have a bad breakout on my
31:30
skin, I will be covering that up before leaving the house.
31:34
You know, so you're not alone in what we're going through.
31:36
And if you are struggling, the best thing to do is to just talk
31:40
about it with someone and just know that you are loved, you are
31:44
appreciated, and I love you so much.
31:48
I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it's been really
31:51
nice to catch up. I'm looking forward to showing
31:54
you guys all the interviews that I've been up to recording.
31:58
I'm looking forward to doing a lot more episodes and a lot more
32:01
exciting things. But in the meantime, do check
32:04
out my YouTube channel. Make sure to rate this podcast 5
32:08
stars because that really helps me out.
32:10
Don't forget to vote for me at the National Diversity Awards.
32:15
Oh, I completely forgot. I, I also went on Pratham Da
32:17
again, the Welsh afternoon chat show.
32:20
Completely forgot about that in the intro.
32:22
But yeah, that was also really fun.
32:24
I got to talk about my podcast and other Welsh podcasts and
32:28
that is worth listening to at the moment.
32:31
You know, there's so many Welsh language podcasts now.
32:33
It's so cool. OK, wow, that was a bit all over
32:35
the place, but I think I've mentioned everything that I
32:38
wanted to. This has been really fun.
32:41
I've missed doing this. I love doing it every time.
32:44
But yeah, it was a bit of a ramble, so I hope that you were
32:48
able to bear with me on this if you did make it to the end of
32:51
this video. I love you all so much.
32:53
Thank you to Cure LG and D2I for sponsoring this podcast and I
32:57
will speak to you guys very soon in my next episode.
33:00
Bye.