Latest / After Maghrib 🌙 / Insecurities & Women BEYOND Male Validation

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Insecurities & Women BEYOND Male Validation · After Maghrib 🌙

0:01
Salaam alaikum, and welcome back to another episode on the
0:03
aftermath of podcast. If you are new to aftermarket,
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make sure you hit the Subscribe button and follow us on all of
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our platforms. So you are up to date with every
0:11
conversation we have last week. We spoke about friends, you know
0:14
what? Makes a good friend, you know,
0:16
do we have toxic friends in our Circle?
0:18
However, in this conversation today we want to talk about
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insecurities. You know am I insecure as my
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co-host and secure, maybe you're insecure yourself.
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Let's try to tackle the subject and I know this is a you know, a
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top Epic. And a matter that everyone can
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relate with inshallah and I like every week, I want to introduce
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my guest, I'm only joking, my amazing co-host a bit
0:39
differently. She, I shouldn't I and happy
1:02
birthday. Happy happy.
1:07
Happy birthday. Said appreciate you turning 21
1:10
today. Masha, Allah for something that
1:13
can younger by the day Marshall and you could get sick.
1:16
How's your day going? Thank you.
1:18
Yeah. Family friends.
1:20
What's been the plan so far? I think I'll leave.
1:23
The plans of are insecure about that.
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How do you feel about your? If you don't mind me asking you,
1:30
how did you feel about your age? Because obviously now you are a
1:33
stage where hmm, you know that, the, the why would use kind of
1:38
escaping us? Both a lot of Charles.
1:40
I'm still young now. You are, of course.
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And I know we're gonna do a podcast on.
1:45
I don't know. Hang old.
1:46
You know, it's a serious question and I always tell
1:48
people, you know, the more you age.
1:50
Yeah, you just end up being a die.
1:53
I might be - with birthdays and I hope I don't sound - when it
1:56
comes to it. Yeah, that's I don't see us like
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Milestone reached or anything. Yeah.
2:01
It's another day. Yeah, this is a day to celebrate
2:03
out. Maybe being here for next year,
2:05
John, laughs. Well, I'll give you a long Lila
2:07
many, many more years where we can see your brother in sha,
2:10
Allah ameen. And guys, if you like said said,
2:12
if you're new to the channel, hit that subscribe button.
2:16
We are nearly a year of aftermarket aboot His mental
2:20
crazy Supply, the lies, and not speaking of birthdays.
2:23
And to be honest, I remember when we started filming last
2:25
year, I remember when said on his birthday, I think was the
2:27
first episode we recorded. It was your birthday.
2:29
Okay, so it's crazy. We've got a full 365 days.
2:34
The channel is growing, a lot hamdulillah.
2:36
We are. We're doing more and more stuff
2:39
with your support guys and we're also launching some new stuff.
2:42
So stay tuned. You'll probably see some new
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stuff this coming week on our Channel with a new show that we
2:48
are. Trying to get started.
2:50
You're going to need your support on that inshallah guys
2:52
and also slightly off topic. We also have a new man behind
2:57
the scenes today. Dear brother, you
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assalamualaikum waalaikumsalam. What are you doing?
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I'm chilling right now. We're guessing all good bro.
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Good good to have you on. If you listen to the podcast,
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you know you asked is one of our younger team members and
3:12
obviously he's been, he's been in and around kind of the
3:15
recordings, but it's nice times goes first times goes on Mike,
3:18
but in time, I'm it's good to be here on the other side.
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You know, I'm scared. The fact is do microphone.
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I'm worried. Get ready.
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Get ready. We started this conversation.
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I think I'm going to go straight in.
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Do you have any insecurities? Of course, boss.
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Can you name my stew? If you're comfortable sharing.
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I'll tell you why. I don't think I can do here is,
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I'll tell you why. I don't know why.
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I don't think an insecurity is an insecurity of someone is not
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insecure by Common Sense, dictates right?
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So, If you understand, of course, in insecurity something
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which hinders one's capacity to grow.
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And because of that, they are unable to address it and accept
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it and, therefore, resolve it. So, I feel that it remains an
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insecurity for, as long as you're keeping it private,
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you're keeping it hidden, it's buried.
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Deep into your soul or my going public.
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Would you mean? No, but obviously any insecurity
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is kept in insecurity because people Either don't accept it or
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be don't even know it exists. So my humble opinion, I feel
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lots of us have insecurities that we don't even know we have.
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So for example, how we look how we walk, how we talk, who we are
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friends with, who we have grown up with some of the things we do
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in private? Some of the things we do in
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public, a lot of these things are insecurities, but we may not
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realize them until we reflect upon them, okay?
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So until someone brings up to your attention, by the way it
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happened, why are you doing this doesn't suit you?
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You're better than this. Becomes you become conscious
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about it and it becomes insecurity.
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And at that point it remains with you until you address it.
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So for this sole reason, I feel that it's completely natural to
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have an insecurity and I think whether you're a guy or a girl
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or you're older you're young, it doesn't have a bearing on.
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Whether you have insecurities, what type of insecurities you
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have or how many insecurities you have, everyone has some form
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of anxiety or worry about themselves or their
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surroundings. So that's Yeah, that's that's
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what I would say. In response to your question,
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but you still haven't given us. One example.
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I think, if I had to name one, if I had to name one, insecurity
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it be my past and how I feel about it now.
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So, when I reflect on my younger years, particularly and I think
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about what sort of Gaia was, who I was with what I was doing, how
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I acted in behaved, a lot of that comes with the regret
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remorse from my end. And obviously this is the
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YouTube all religion Allah spawn to Allah tells us not to ponder
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too much about these things. Right?
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The wrongs that you have done with people seek forgiveness,
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forgiveness from Allah, subhanaw taala, and then crack on with
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your life. Don't let it drag you down, you
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know? And there's obviously we can go
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into the religious angle of it because there's a lot about
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Hadith, a lot of quranic ayats which discuss insecurities
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directly or indirectly. Okay, the day that's interesting
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to hear. What about me, what and
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securities. You have seen well do you have
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any? You know, when you told I think
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was today we discuss what we're going to talk about.
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Yeah. I thought I thought about the
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generally, I thought to myself, you know, do I have any
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insecurities before I come out here and talk about people's
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insecurities? Hmm, I couldn't think of one.
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However, I, when it comes to insecurities, I think personally
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with me, I think is being aware of certain things rather than
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being insecure about them. So I can give one example.
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I'm d'lai have many. Right.
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Here's why. So that's one kind of wisdom.
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Well, that's our trick myself. I say, yeah, I mean the more
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gray hairs. You have to log a shallow is the
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one, some people really Susan obvious issues.
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And it's not like I'm insecure about it is the fact there are
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some someone meets me, say it was going on.
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Yeah, every time I see you, I has more.
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Why honey? As one example, another one is
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for example, what his friends and knows me very well.
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I'm not the tallest person out there.
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That's one thing that I can say when I was Young used to make
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affect me when circles I was with always.
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Let's say a few inches higher. Told however you want to say it.
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The me I was aware of it and never affected me.
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Yeah, so that's like two examples.
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I can get say that. I think we're looking at this
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from two different angles. Yeah.
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Okay. I was going to say because you
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name something big like Mom, pause.
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That's insecurity. Just talking about things that
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it's not aware of. Yeah, that's six.
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Yes, I think you to answer the question again, okay.
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Going as also case of like, well, you know, Drop physical
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visual aesthetic, appearance based in security that you might
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have about. Isn't that?
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What people's insecurities as well as the same Horizon
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insecurity? Because for me, you might have
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an insecurity about something. And, and to be honest, it's
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completely natural. Okay, so someone might have an
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insecurity about like things which, okay, people laugh at it
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might be but in the grand scheme of things, they're trivial
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things like their hairline. Yeah.
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Or how patchy their beard is. We're talking about that Ibiza
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is Italy or for example, from that doesn't fall on the deck.
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Category of insecurity. You know.
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I think it does I think insecurities is what others
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through love was apparent. Yeah there's the visuals.
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What's I might feel about how I look for exam, then I think the
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way it when you, when you asked me about my insecurities, I
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think about my deep feelings and secrets.
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That's what comes to my mind. I don't think about.
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I wish I was an inch taller. I wish my hairline was better.
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I wish I was, you know, I don't think like that kind of thing.
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I'm kind of thinking on a more intimate level with myself, It's
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interesting and I think maybe we can get into this and let me ask
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you say it go on. There's obviously going to be a
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lot of people at home who are in one of two stages.
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Either they're currently insecure about something.
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It might be insecure about their looks at their weight about
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their appearances. About the fact they wear
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glasses. The fact they have braces and
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either they're currently insecure, or there's people who
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are have moved on with it, It. Yeah.
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What would advice would you give to someone who has currently got
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insecurity and is currently trying to address it?
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Should they try and deal with it directly and sort it out or do
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they just forget about it and move on?
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Ignore it. And accept the fact that all I
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feel ugly and I know I'm ugly and I'll just deal with it.
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How would you address that? So tough question to ask me, I
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think I'm not on the one to give advice when it comes to this.
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Because I say, Because I personally don't, I don't use
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the word suffer from insecurities as I have never
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really thought about being insecure about something where
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evolve lost sleep over or you know of hidden myself from
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society. Because I know there's certain
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levels that people can face when it comes to insecurities.
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But one thing I would say, is the main thing we have as
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Muslims 104 everyone listening is that, you know, who cares?
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Well, if someone is going to come and say, you know what,
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he's bought as Or she's ugly sort uses phrases.
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But this is the people. This is how the language is now.
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What? These two people?
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Yeah, I didn't say, who cares honest to God.
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Danny, as long as you know, you know.
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You are fine. Yeah.
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Ultimately, you are human being and when Allah subhanahu
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wa'ta'ala, you know, he created us all different, and the
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biggest proof that we are different.
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We are not the same as our neighbor.
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We are not the same as our cousin's.
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We're not same as our friend. Hi, there are college, wherever
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is yeah, there's our fingerprints were everyone's
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unique in their own way. That's one example.
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And we have there's even like in the animal kingdom and all gone
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far off here. Rob we have lapid's.
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They don't have the same thoughts workers called you have
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zebras. They don't have the exact same
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Stripes. Yeah.
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Everyone is different and I think we have to accept firstly
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that Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala has created us different and
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it's society that dictates you know how what we think is
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normal. Yeah, and if we like watch too
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much movies, this is where Securities come from.
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Movies was what? Socially online, 24/7, scrolling
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Tick-Tock, watching, Instagram, reels, whatever is what I'm
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talking here about. For example, the physical
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Beauty, if we're comparing ourselves to our society, they
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taste is normal and was Perfection and was beautiful.
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We're going to suffer but the moment we accept Allah
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subhanahu, wa'ta'ala has made us differently and we're all
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beautiful in our own unique way. I think is easy.
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And I just say, I'm not going to give advice about.
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That's, that's how I see it. And say to, you know, that
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point. You mentioned about beauty.
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It's really important for us to understand that like you said,
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beauty comes in different forms in Islam.
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We have the inner beauty in the outer beauty and we know for
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example, in sort of thing hurts, a lot.
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Verse number seven, the last one Tyler says, and Allah has
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endeared Faith to and has adorned it into your hearts and
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that beautification from Allah comes in the soul and in the
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heart. Now, look like you said, we live
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in a day and age where everyone is expecting high level
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features, physical Tourist Perfection, Perfection Beyond
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perfection, in many cases or told what Perfection is when in
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reality things are not Perfection?
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So, for example, if we're being really critical, yeah, right now
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on Instagram or on Tick Tock, you will see girls who do not
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look human because they will do surgical things to themselves in
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a plastic that are Beyond like looking plastic that looks
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alien. And and this indoctrination of
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that look has made Such a thing, we're in a western sense.
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This is become what? Identity are beautiful.
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Beautiful identity looks like like it in a visual appearance.
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People are told that this is what a beautiful lady is.
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And she's so rich because she's so beautiful, for example.
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And if you want to be rich and if you want to be beautiful, you
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have to copy how they look. And, in my opinion, I think
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that's backwards Beyond sense. Okay.
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And you understand, for example, pornography and Islam is Haram
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for many reasons, many, many, many reasons, it's a spiritual
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disease, An addiction of many forms, but one of the many
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reasons why pornography has had on is because of the Warped and
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unrealistic standards and expectations that our man may
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have of a woman or a woman may have of a man which are not
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practical and do not resemble real life standards.
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So, for example, when we talk about what a man expects of his
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woman in marriage or his wife in marriage and if a man has
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suffered from pornography, addiction in his younger years
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or in at some stage in his life, Life, he will enter that
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relationship with the distorted impression of what that
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relationship should look like based on his previous addiction,
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for example, and that all comes back to it stems, back to what
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he perceives to be Beauty. Yeah.
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And unfortunately. So like you said, seed I love
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the time. We perceive Beauty outwardly and
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we pursue it on the visuals and the Aesthetics of someone's
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Soul, someone's body as opposed to their soul in their heart.
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So all in all I think that it's it's it's naive for us too.
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Judge Beauty by our looks. However, if you don't mind, I've
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got one or two last things. I wanted to mention at the same
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time, you have to take care of yourself, right?
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So you have to look after how you look, you have to accept
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what Allah has given you. But at the same time look after
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yourself. Mmm.
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You know for example is a Hadith about dressing.
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Well when you enter the mosque. Yes, I'll also omits Allah Islam
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says that you it's it's it's my crew.
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To smell bad to the point. That there's if there's anything
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you can be extravagant in, it's your perfume and your fragrance,
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for example, so smell good look good, go to the gym, get
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haircuts, do your beard, do your eyebrows.
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If you're a sister you can look after your your features and
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whatnot and obviously make up within boundaries of your Cherie
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are and who you're following. So on what I have to show of the
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high job, what's allowed to show what's filter allows, okay?
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But don't forget sample. Be someone who you're going to
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Leave the house and you not shouting, you're wearing pajamas
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and this is another thing about marriage which I really
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appreciate because you have expectations up from your
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spouse, my life. I remember in my early, my early
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days of marriage, my wife would tell me, why'd you leave the
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house wearing track is in hoodies all the time.
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Look, good, put in some effort. So I so I would block a, you
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know, phone off. And now like I'll leave the
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house and I'll say to add all the good enough you, it's been
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like a few years ago after Oscar had a lot, but it's nice because
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it obviously helps the relationship.
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As well. Well, that's true - it's funny.
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You bring that up because I'm trying to think know since I've
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been married, I don't know the last time I chose something to
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buy so I was like, no way for yeah.
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Like this, the situation find out.
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Let's get that martial arts. You've got the taste challenge
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first, you know, you're very right and, and, you know, you
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spoke about pornography and I think we should have a whole
16:13
conversation about this some stage because we do need to
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because it's a situation that affects a lot especially on the
16:19
Muslim Community and it's very hidden.
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Yeah. Speaks about of us inshallah,
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we'll do our best to its first the surface.
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It's a real disease spiritual disease and unfortunately, so
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widespread and it's normalized and of course, obviously even on
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a more I quote unquote societally, acceptable manner.
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You see pornography in mainstream film and TV and music
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and whatnot. So you can be watching Netflix
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and you'll see a scene which is inappropriate to watch your
16:50
family or your you're like in a shop and there's a screen with
16:55
playing music videos, for example, and that will have like
16:58
girls or guys, dancing provocatively, like that kind of
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stuff is harm had on and it just we're building a day and age
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where like 12 year olds on Tick-Tock and they're seeing
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things against their will at that age, which they shouldn't
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be seeing no one should be seeing why kids watching this?
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You know I'm saying it's completely backwards and
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obviously the like you said, say we need a proper conversation
17:20
about this. Let me ask you a question.
17:21
Russian. Now gone.
17:22
Now we talked about the out with the imperfections.
17:24
Someone may have and you know everyone is beautiful and even
17:27
if they don't feel out would be beautiful of course they're
17:29
trying their best to work on it but how does someone appreciate
17:32
that in a beauty? How can someone appreciate the
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end of beauty? Role as a deep question.
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If you want to appreciate you and the beauty first you gotta
17:49
learn. I think to love and accept
17:50
yourself. Yeah.
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Honey. The inner beauty has not that
17:55
parent as your - your flock. No.
17:59
You're the way you carry yourself and who you are, who
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you are and in the moment you sort of understand that you No,
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I'm good. - I'm good in my speech.
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No, I'm good with people, I'm good with my family.
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I'm good on my spouse. I'm good on my children.
18:19
I'm going with my colleagues. I'm good with everyone.
18:21
I'm with everyone in the community.
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The moment you can accept. That's beautiful.
18:25
Yeah, bro. Any physical attribute or
18:27
something that you're not happy with is all going to go away.
18:30
Yeah. Automatically anything.
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Physical is like a last thought when it comes to insecurities.
18:36
Yeah. Planet.
18:37
And, you know, you know, I'll give you one example to this.
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There was a conversation I was having What someone finally not
18:43
too long ago and he was talking about, you know, how he wants
18:49
his missus to be or so I don't know if this can help the
18:52
conversation here, speaking about beauty and everything and
18:55
he was like, I want my wife, I want my wife to be beautiful
18:59
because I don't want to come home or do want to go out with
19:01
her. Don't go to my family high and
19:03
she's, you know, not paying is the term he used, you know,
19:06
forgive me if he's listening, that's the time you hang paying
19:09
in London is bothering me. Playing means good-looking.
19:12
Yeah. And and and I told him, bro, at
19:14
the end of the day, when you're going to marry this individual,
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believe me. As soon as you have this
19:19
honeymoon phase, you're not really going to care of how
19:24
beautiful she is every single day because it's the more
19:26
important thing is how beautiful she is in sight.
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Yeah, I need and there, and there is this term, you know how
19:31
player there are girls out there.
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Sisters, may Allah bless them and make it easy for them
19:36
because her job is not a simple issue.
19:37
Yeah. Especially here in the west and
19:40
where they When you focus on the outer beauty and and then
19:44
looking to get married, now there is a time where a girl had
19:47
an adventurous, get married at some stage where she thinks
19:51
that, you know, if I want to attract a potential husband I
19:55
gotta look in a specific way so she will not live here as long
19:58
as I say that it's not wrong. No no no no.
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But she forgets the main core of marriage right?
20:03
Wait wait we're only emphasis on you know getting ready for
20:06
marriage is how do I look how do I present myself physically go
20:10
there A parent, you know? So I don't want to get into
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makeup and things like that. Yeah, that's if you look at it
20:15
deeply, bro, you can look as beautiful as you want to look.
20:18
You can look as well as paying whatever word you want to use.
20:21
Yeah. As you want.
20:22
Yeah, at the end of the day the person you want to marry.
20:27
If all you're going to focus on is how beautiful you look bro,
20:29
he can look at thousands of all the beautiful girls.
20:31
Yeah, the only difference is your husband.
20:33
I'm speaking as a guy, your husband, you wants to look at
20:36
your inner beauty. That's where I truly wants to
20:37
look at how your clock is with him with what Children, you know
20:42
how you carry yourself at home? How is your, you know, your
20:45
hire, these sort of things is what attracts them?
20:47
And it's not just the physical. And, to be honest, a deal like,
20:50
with, with, with, with guys and and guys are home will know
20:55
this, but guys, unfortunately, Allah has given us that task of
20:59
lowering our gaze and purely because Allah knows that for
21:02
guys. It's hard to know your gaze
21:04
every guy knows, right? It's a hard task, but what
21:07
attracts a guy in my humble opinion is like you said so.
21:11
A, the inner beauty of someone and it's magnetic.
21:13
Yes. When you find someone that you
21:15
like being around like as a guy you enjoy everything about that
21:19
or a company. Yeah.
21:20
Like you're pulled to that in a different way but it's
21:24
interesting. You mentioned about sisters in
21:27
preparation for marriage and I agree with that and I think the
21:29
same also applies for guys. Obviously you get guys who will
21:32
spend like get a haircut every seven days who like spend
21:36
hundreds of pounds on their asses, the ass is looking at us.
21:41
A man on your haircut Marshall, not even human.
21:44
You got guys who get haircuts every few days, you'll get guys
21:47
all drench themselves aftershave and by the new sneakers and like
21:51
the tightest tuxedos for weddings and whatnot, but
21:55
they're rotten to the core and they've done every harm act that
22:00
you can imagine. But they'll show face in the
22:03
mosque and they'll look good but they inner soul might be
22:08
rubbish. You get I'm saying and I I think
22:11
this applies of course to all communities and all people, for
22:14
example, sisters, and brothers. And, of course, in sha, Allah
22:17
will not amongst those people, but you get that across things
22:20
across kind of demographics. And I don't think I do.
22:22
I'm saying, is don't look presentable, do not question you
22:25
can and I think is important but work on yourself as well like
22:28
inside, awesome know, for example like you said,
22:31
appreciation of Allah and getting closer to Allah and an
22:34
understanding that Allah has made you beautiful man out of an
22:37
asshole. Fuck I defer Rabe and we
22:40
understand that if you are Stand.
22:41
Your soul fuel, understand Allah and if you appreciate yourself,
22:45
you appreciate what Allah has given you.
22:46
And the bounce is our last Point, otherwise given us, you
22:49
know, and in these kind of blessings, that beauty comes in
22:52
many forms, the ability to perceive and to use your
22:55
intellect, the ability to empathize with people the
22:58
ability to, to have emotional intelligence, like these kind of
23:01
things are, are they transcend physical ability and they
23:06
transcend the five senses? Do you know what I mean?
23:08
So I think that's something for us to consider.
23:11
I want to ask you about insecurities outside of the
23:14
physical, okay? Now insecurities in fact, let me
23:18
ask yourself because, obviously, yes is a bit of a kind of a new
23:22
voice for a lot of the listeners.
23:24
You also, for people first, he can be, people have insecurities
23:28
about like themselves when it comes to their reputation, their
23:32
family's name. Their wealth amongst their
23:35
friends, this kind of thing, would you reckon well Around the
23:41
friends. Yeah, I think they can be
23:43
insecure about that because I see a lot of people there with
23:46
their friends and they realize like someone broke compared to
23:51
my rent rooms. There are more money than me or,
23:54
for example, you said about their reputation.
23:56
Yeah. Because I'm I spend a lot of
23:59
time with people in the community and they're very
24:01
cautious of it. Like our I shouldn't be doing
24:04
this. Or why did I do that?
24:06
Because it's going to now ruin my reputation.
24:08
Ruined my name, ruin my family's name so as As well as that as
24:12
well as that like taking care of your some on your upper your
24:14
reputation. It's also an insecurity like,
24:18
why did I do that? It's not causing your bit of
24:20
anxiety that why did I act this way?
24:22
Or why am I acting this way? Because now it's ruining me.
24:26
Yeah. But is it wrong?
24:26
For example to have an insecurity about you, like your
24:29
family reputation or your the people you associate with?
24:32
I don't think so. That's why I think it's actually
24:34
a good thing because if you're cautious of it, then maybe we'll
24:37
fix your action. So that's what I secured by the
24:40
way, I think this. Both ways because if your
24:43
unsecured of how people see you, that means you care about people
24:47
and Allah, firstly, but it helps, you get to get closer to
24:51
Allah because sometimes when you want to worry about your so my
24:54
reputation, sometimes it stops you don't Hara.
24:57
Yeah, times it stops. You go in some places you know,
24:59
mixing with certain people and avoiding you know, satanic acts
25:03
and whatnot because of your summer.
25:05
All you do remember for example, you know I am from this
25:08
community or I am the son of a XYZ.
25:12
Why am I doing this? Yeah.
25:12
And if I have, you know, there's I have my family for example, as
25:16
role models of what makes a good Muslim, I'm going to go to these
25:20
places all against that is an insecurity in my eyes.
25:23
This is nothing like a place with anxiety secure about.
25:26
Let's say, they're their wealth like a noob.
25:28
You guys mentioned this before. But remember, we talked about
25:30
friends, we talked about how some friends for example don't
25:33
have the means to go out and show every week that someone
25:36
might be insecure about how much money they have and they don't
25:39
want to look like they can't be. Monks such people or whatever.
25:42
So, by staying away, because you're in not secure, but
25:46
because you're conscious of your circumstances, you might avoid
25:49
doing things like over spending spending on the irrelevant
25:52
things, or lavish things being trivial with your money, that
25:54
kind of stuff, which then obviously leads to the furthest
25:57
in of wasting and us, laugh and being extravagant, and what not
26:01
like that kind of thing is obviously an insecurity one
26:04
might have. But you can channel that from an
26:05
insecurity to become like a trampoline.
26:09
Do you see what I mean to Kind of push you into doing goodness
26:13
to get us on the trampoline. Yeah, yeah, say it is your
26:16
birthday. I think you trampolining.
26:18
I'll take it to the bouncer. No.
26:22
But I just had this thought right now I've seen to sort of
26:33
avenues or you know groups when it comes to having wealth and
26:41
And I think a lot of rich men out there, love wealthy men who
26:45
are like Filthy Rich by can use uncertain.
26:47
They like to show to the world, the full of money and the
26:51
loaded. And I don't think the insecure
26:56
as I think they are insecure about the image that they want
27:00
to continue to show the world that I've got wealth, I've got
27:04
money. So they have to, you know,
27:06
always have to, you know, show off these sort of cautious or
27:10
aware of. Of how they dress or where they
27:12
eat, or how they spend their money.
27:15
I don't know if you understand my place, and then you go,
27:16
that's the standard where you never want to drop under.
27:22
You know, once you've reached that stage, is that okay?
27:25
I don't want to show the world that for example, I don't have
27:28
that long to say it then there's other side.
27:30
Yeah. Sorry.
27:31
Before you go, there's the other side where you see the most
27:34
richest of men, you can't leave, until they got money, hmm, which
27:37
I love because we have certain examples.
27:40
Ed White and non-muslim where they have the wealth of the
27:45
world as brother. So humble.
27:48
So and their dress, and their charity and everything.
27:51
For, there's always two sides to say there's two.
27:53
There's, there's like too shy to talk to people.
27:55
Yeah. And there's two types of people
27:56
that came into my mind when you're saying this, you know,
27:58
you think about like Jeff Bezos, you know, mosque.
28:01
Donald Trump people like that, but mega super wealthy.
28:05
Hmm. All of them have insecurities
28:08
and like, look at Trump. So, as an example, oh, the guys
28:13
75 plus years old, he's got orange skin fake, blond hair, he
28:19
will, and a plastic surgery, although his face.
28:22
The guy has nothing to prove. He's been the president of the
28:24
most powerful country in terms of as a hegemony, right across
28:28
the Western Hemisphere. He's one of the richest men in
28:32
his country or definitely one of the most influential worldwide.
28:36
Why is he insecure? He's clearly insecure about
28:38
something. Yeah.
28:40
And then you look at Example, Jeff Bezos.
28:42
Anyone who wants to know what? Jeff Bezos insecure by just
28:44
Googling look at Google Images over the last month.
28:46
You'll see what he looks like. What is why fac license on?
28:48
I don't wanna get into it because I don't, I'm selling
28:50
shots off the market because we're in big trouble based on
28:53
Jeff. Bezos comes after most of the
28:54
fourth class. Yeah, Amazon.
28:57
But then on the flip side, you know, in Chakra move on I was
29:00
speaking to a friend of mine who was doing some fundraising work
29:04
for a charity. So he said to me, do you know
29:07
anyone like he asked me? Can you introduce me to someone
29:10
so I gave him. Him a contact of a close Uncle
29:13
who I know. Like he's a family friend, I
29:15
have high respect for him in another community.
29:18
So this guy went to meet him. He called me son, are you sure
29:22
I've got the right guy? Okay, I whine like Bros, this
29:26
guy looks Dusty, not what you talking about.
29:29
He's like his hair scruffy's, be scruffy's, wearing old like
29:33
clothes and his driving some bus stop.
29:36
Honda Civic from 2001, you know, he does not look like he's
29:40
doing. Like you, sure you got the right
29:42
guy said, yeah, like you asked him his name.
29:44
He said, yeah, like, bro, this is definitely the guy
29:47
subhanallah that Uncle gives tens of millions of pounds to
29:51
charity. He's one of the most generous
29:53
kind hearted people I understand and have met and he's always got
29:56
a smile on his face, but how he puts himself out there in the
29:59
community. He doesn't care how people view
30:02
him. So, you know, and in return,
30:05
he's giving what he can, what Allah has given him back and
30:08
maybe that's why Allah has given him more.
30:10
Maybe Allah has restricted how much we have?
30:13
Because we're insecure about how we use our wealth or how we use
30:16
our blessings. So for example, if we're
30:18
insecure about how, how we use our knowledge Allah will
30:22
restrict our knowledge. If we're insecure about the sort
30:25
of friends, we have, allow restrictor sort of
30:27
relationships. We build with people.
30:28
And the same goes for our wealth and our relationships and so on.
30:30
So don't show off, you know, be conscious of your blessings, but
30:34
don't be insecure at the same time.
30:36
It has to be, we have to strike a balance, that's quite
30:38
important. Oh yeah, right, right.
30:40
And you You know, if I can just go to the spiritual sight, yeah
30:43
of being insecure. I remember, you know, when I
30:46
was, I think I was either 18 or 19, I had a friend.
30:52
We do mosque together, we got senia together and he would
30:56
never pray in the say, Nia never ever, pray nothing.
31:01
And so after, like, a few months, I asked him, I was like
31:06
that his name, and I was like Rolex my godson, that's what we
31:10
all need. To fix our Salah a father
31:12
present prank. Well the thing is the brother
31:15
lava is the brain was insecure if he makes a mistake in the
31:21
Salah and these people watching, you know that I remember that I
31:25
remember the conversation we had his hand raised and the praying
31:29
in public as well but sometimes you have people who are insecure
31:32
when it comes to their faith when it comes to their religion.
31:34
So I ran away from that while I learn.
31:37
I think, is that, for example, that's why I think, Of picked up
31:41
this phrase, I use it everywhere but who cares?
31:43
Mmm. Sometimes when people talk to
31:45
people, you know, say why doing this, who cares, what had you
31:48
Justin's going to say, for example, or oppose?
31:50
What Allah is going to say? And this is Brother, find found
31:53
it hard to pray in front of the public because of how people
31:57
perceive them but Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala.
31:59
You know that's the main thing. You know you know for us it's
32:03
with God and that's our end goal, you know, we don't care
32:06
what I GOI Fatma says, or you know about Jefferson whatever.
32:11
They are whatever. Allah bless all of them.
32:14
That's the main thing. And I can share something, you
32:17
know, as a recital sometimes we have anxiety when it comes to
32:23
reciting and I'll tell you where for me, is that When it comes to
32:30
reciting and you're going up the pulpit.
32:34
Hmm, the anxiety for me is when I got the pulpit, if I
32:38
mispronounced something. Because one time I happened to
32:41
me and I was reciting in Arabic, it was far from here and it was
32:46
a very famous classic tuner was Mulla Mulla Mulla possum and
32:50
there was a share on a shot. Blocker on maluma, maybe Arthur
32:53
knows, this may be, you know, for all those this is, it may
32:55
not survive saying, share our national power, Ahmad Luma, I
32:58
was saying Shay your ownership Well, so I changed the meaning.
33:01
Oh, my God, why thing? But some do I sort of understood
33:05
after the second chorus? The I made the air and I think
33:08
after that, when I go home, I was thinking what?
33:10
On Earth that I do. Yeah.
33:12
And that really hit me. That's the only moment.
33:14
I felt like I've got some sort of anxiety.
33:19
This, you know, that's, that's, that's something I say
33:22
something. But like, that's something you
33:24
learned from this. Yeah, you know, this on, you
33:25
learn from it. Yeah, you grow and helps you
33:28
perfect your craft. Yeah at the end of the day
33:31
you're trying to do it Mama and you have to have standards was
33:34
like eight years ago like this really?
33:36
Yeah. And you've obviously you have
33:37
standards you set up on yourself.
33:39
You know you want to make yourself proud and proved
33:41
yourself what you're capable of. So being conscious and insect.
33:45
Like for example, one of my insecurities is my performance
33:50
day-to-day. I can look back on my day and I
33:53
will feel small about myself. I think I wasted my day, like I
33:58
left my work. I'm on my way home and I think,
34:01
well, waste of the last like three hours, for example, what
34:05
am I doing? I'm I meant to be providing and
34:08
protecting my family and I'm going to be growing my business
34:11
and doing this. And that for as an example, I
34:13
like I think that's quite an important thing to do because
34:15
that self-accountability is a very important thing to do but
34:19
not having what, you know, I just curious as an insecurity.
34:22
That's more of a worry. Yeah.
34:24
Well like something that you're conscious of and you need to
34:27
find a solution for it. I don't think that's
34:29
Insecurities, I think you're right.
34:30
Yeah, but it's something you might.
34:32
It can go either one of two ways, right?
34:34
And either you dig deeper in it and you don't work on it and it,
34:36
you leave it at that and it means that's how your mental
34:38
health will worsen. And when you start to trust
34:41
other than Allah, so you trust your luck, for example, or you
34:45
trust the generosity of someone other than God, then you're not
34:50
going to get anything, you know, there's this beautiful thing if
34:51
you don't mind me sharing these in.
34:53
So he for such idea by Imam sajjad Elisa Lam and do.
34:56
I number 54, he begins the dawn. I'm not going to Nothing.
35:00
But he mentions Bismillah ar-rahman ar-rahim, Ya, Allah.
35:03
Some rise in the morning, having trust or hope.
35:06
And other than thee, I rise in the morning and my trust and My
35:10
Hope in all Affairs is with you, your Allah.
35:13
And I think that, that is, for example, the ultimate answer to
35:17
all of our concerns and all of our Foods just submit everything
35:21
to a long Mission. I'm a complete to walk away.
35:25
Yeah, guaranteed warranty. Yeah, yeah.
35:27
Like, you know, there's I think I might mention this many months
35:31
ago on the podcast but there's that beautiful analogy of
35:34
tawakkal with birds. The bird leaves its nest in the
35:39
morning leaves. It's, it's baby chicks behind
35:43
and it doesn't know whether it's going to find food for its
35:46
children to bring back at the end of the day.
35:49
But every time the bird leaves its nest, Subhan Allah will
35:52
always come back and why? It's because it has trust and
35:55
Trust they will find what it needs and reach its goal that is
35:59
to walk a little lost 1-0 to either and if we as human beings
36:03
can stop worrying about Petty things and stop being insecure
36:06
about things which are genuinely trivial, then we will advance in
36:11
life if we still have insecurities about things which
36:14
are deeper rooted, actual personality disorders, for
36:18
example or actual issues with your your family or your
36:22
friends, and these are issues which need to be addressed speak
36:26
to someone brother, or going speak to an island or speak to
36:29
Your parents or someone, you trust picked your spouse,
36:32
someone who, you know, you can have confidence in and relay
36:36
your insecurities to them. That's why I can't speak about
36:39
my deepest insecurities on a podcast to be honest with you.
36:42
So can we speak about them off the podcast?
36:44
Yeah. It's my last family to me.
36:46
Yeah. Anytime miss Willa.
36:48
And the last last last thing, I want to say before we wrap up
36:50
because I know we're pretty much done, is guys, stop caring about
36:53
Instagram, and social media will LOL him.
36:56
Who cares? How many followers you've got?
36:58
And who cares? How many People like your posts
37:02
or for example, you know, like replying to every comment my bro
37:06
and putting Spud emojis on what not know how true.
37:09
Oh, that's such a young generation that you guys need to
37:11
cut that out, man. Honestly, yeah, so you and your
37:14
boys allow it. I don't do that wrong.
37:17
I hope you can check - I don't do that.
37:19
Yeah, you know, Instagram? Yeah, I think it's Instagram
37:23
when I first kicked off and what ruined the Muslim world when it
37:27
comes to insecurities physical appearances.
37:29
And Stuff like that was Instagram because I remember
37:32
there was a time where it will show you.
37:35
For example there was a time where you explore page was, what
37:38
other people like, who followed yes, using it followed, Etc.
37:41
Well, during that phase, where I ran my sea accounts, they'll
37:45
upload something someone gets like five like Dal, hmm.
37:49
Or, you know, if that's what to do.
37:51
Well, enough, if a post doesn't do one enough, it goes.
37:54
Missing, yeah, well, as a lot of us a go, it goes well, I don't
37:59
know. Why they feel like, you know,
38:02
they feel like they should they deserve more interaction
38:05
engagement with the post and in get you know, insecurity is not
38:08
just physical but also online people build, an online
38:12
personality Which is far apart from what they truly are.
38:15
And we've all seen guys and friends, we've had growing up
38:18
and maybe including ourselves or definitely might include myself
38:21
you will. Like I definitely definitely,
38:23
definitely try to put up an image.
38:26
I had a phase of my life, maybe between 15 and 19 years.
38:29
Sold. Well, I was like, I need to be
38:31
this guy. I need to look like this.
38:33
Just like this post, like this type.
38:35
Like this. Like, you know, it's
38:37
embarrassing enough for you. Want to know, does it didn't
38:39
matter? I didn't grow it matter.
38:41
Now, of course, that doesn't, it doesn't matter.
38:42
You know, you look back on these things and and you and you just
38:46
wish that you learned these lessons earlier.
38:47
And this is what growth is, right?
38:50
I'm the lolicon, dahab, I'm the low Abdullah on the so
38:53
discussion. I have my liked it.
38:55
Yeah, it was nice with different Yarns that how's your first last
38:58
time behind the scenes. And the camera and the
39:00
microphone. And I enjoyed it.
39:01
I enjoyed it. It's actually quite nice being
39:03
on the side. B will be seeing more of you in
39:07
sha Allah. Yeah.
39:09
Sorry. All right guys, nice to chunin
39:11
with you. And we will be back next week as
39:13
mentioned before the beginning of the Pod.
39:15
Firstly, subscribe to aftermarket up, if you haven't
39:17
already, secondly, stay tuned on our YouTube channel because we
39:20
got big things coming up. A new shows coming, we want to,
39:23
we want you to be there when it drops right saved.
39:26
Hmm. It's going to be exciting and be
39:28
excited that the drum rolling and shot.
39:30
Yeah. And lastly guys stay tuned.
39:32
We're going to be doing a special episode for our 50th
39:36
podcast. Inshallah celebrating one year
39:38
of off the magnet which you've made happen.
39:40
I saw a statistic which is crazy, it's like 5% of podcast,
39:43
make it past episode 5, 0.3% of podcast, make it past episode 25
39:48
and it's like 0.01 percent of podcast.
39:50
Make it episode 50 hamdulillah we have made it to that
39:55
Milestone on the solute a lot. My guys will see you next week.