Latest / Jess Ask / Overcoming Divorce & Embracing Unconditional Love | FT Anquinetta McNeil | EP 77

Transcript

Overcoming Divorce & Embracing Unconditional Love | FT Anquinetta McNeil | EP 77 · Jess Ask

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Yo, it's your girl, Jessica Smith, and you already know
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: that you've entered the safe space for influencers to decompress,
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: have fun and just ask God for another Do you
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: already know what it is? And then you know it's
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: about to get real to be sure to show your
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: girl the love and like, come in subscribe God for
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: another day.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: Hey, hey, I know we could be another way.
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: A A A hatero blocker stone hate blockery, little blocker
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: blocked my hat, blocked my hat block hat to you, Prince.
• 0:53
  Speaker 4: Side's Hey, y'all, you already know what it is.
• 0:57
  Speaker 5: It's Jessica Smith and you have entered the safe space
• 1:00
  Speaker 5: where influencers decompress, half fun and guess what just as
• 1:06
  Speaker 5: because you over.
• 1:07
  Speaker 4: There, Hey girl, hey girl, how you doing? How you doing?
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: How you doing doing? Good?
• 1:14
  Speaker 5: Y'all? Your name is desire Dan yell not with the other.
• 1:21
  Speaker 5: Of course, you can't see her, and you know when
• 1:24
  Speaker 5: you can't see her, that means that we have a
• 1:25
  Speaker 5: special guest. But you know we are still processing and
• 1:30
  Speaker 5: uh opening ourselves up to if you just want to
• 1:34
  Speaker 5: sol into delil Ray because obviously she ain't gonna listen
• 1:37
  Speaker 5: to me. I'm so into desert rays so she can
• 1:40
  Speaker 5: have what she needs, so she can be seen at
• 1:42
  Speaker 5: all times because y'all talk, y'all come to me about it,
• 1:46
  Speaker 5: and I'm like, I.
• 1:48
  Speaker 4: Can't do like.
• 1:48
  Speaker 5: She don't She doesn't allow me to help her in
• 1:51
  Speaker 5: that space, and I'm limited on the resources that I have.
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: So I need y'all to help me. Help you help
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: me help her.
• 2:00
  Speaker 5: Okay, appreciate it. You appreciate it. At least I can
• 2:03
  Speaker 5: hear your beautiful voice. I'm here and I had to
• 2:06
  Speaker 5: fuss about that one mold time. Are you glad to
• 2:09
  Speaker 5: be in the curt lad to be in the service.
• 2:12
  Speaker 4: One more time to service. I know y'all in there
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: like that. I'm glad to be in the service. Lad.
• 2:20
  Speaker 5: Some of them old church songs we gotta go back to.
• 2:23
  Speaker 5: They touched, They touched the root of your heart, you know,
• 2:26
  Speaker 5: and you you ain't if you ain't really live nothing,
• 2:29
  Speaker 5: you really didn't understand what they was talking about. But
• 2:31
  Speaker 5: now I'm I don't live you know, almost thirty eight
• 2:34
  Speaker 5: years of my life. Now I can reach back and
• 2:36
  Speaker 5: be like, oh yeah, it come out of nowhere. Like
• 2:40
  Speaker 5: today I was singing, what a friend? We haven't jeus yes,
• 2:46
  Speaker 5: ah Li sinse increased stupid. What a privilege to carrie
• 2:54
  Speaker 5: everything to God? And prayer said, what a privilege. Listen
• 3:00
  Speaker 5: when I and I was just singing it and I
• 3:03
  Speaker 5: ain't know why I was singing it, and it almost
• 3:05
  Speaker 5: set me straight up to the third heaven, you and me.
• 3:08
  Speaker 5: But when they used to sing, they used to sing
• 3:10
  Speaker 5: and it's so and it's so beautiful. Like, so, what's
• 3:14
  Speaker 5: that song? Y'all, y'all, let us know what's the song
• 3:17
  Speaker 5: that gets you.
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: It didn't.
• 3:18
  Speaker 5: You didn't understand it back then, but now you will
• 3:22
  Speaker 5: take off in the church. The church has no it's
• 3:27
  Speaker 5: not it's not okay, it's not gonna be okay if
• 3:30
  Speaker 5: you tear it up. Okay, y'all let us know what
• 3:32
  Speaker 5: song that is for you. But listen, y'all already know
• 3:35
  Speaker 5: what it is. Like I said, when Desiree is not
• 3:39
  Speaker 5: on the screen, that means that we have a special,
• 3:43
  Speaker 5: special guest. And when I tell you this guest is
• 3:45
  Speaker 5: very special, this guest was definitely sent by God. So
• 3:49
  Speaker 5: recently I posted on my Facebook page, I was like, hey,
• 3:53
  Speaker 5: are there any Birmingham business owners that are that is
• 3:58
  Speaker 5: looking that were like the partner with just asked the
• 4:01
  Speaker 5: podcast we needed a space. I'm just gonna I don't
• 4:04
  Speaker 5: like to just sugar cold things or whatever.
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: We needed a space.
• 4:10
  Speaker 5: And we're all looking for that space of saying, God,
• 4:13
  Speaker 5: what do you want us to do? The Lord said,
• 4:16
  Speaker 5: put the put that post out, and so I did that.
• 4:18
  Speaker 5: And this lovely young lady, beautiful, she is so beautiful,
• 4:23
  Speaker 5: and it's connected to another beautiful young lady that is
• 4:26
  Speaker 5: a family member here. Kayla Mland shout out to her
• 4:30
  Speaker 5: the model maker, and she posted her name and she
• 4:37
  Speaker 5: tagged her and she responded quickly. Somebody say respond quickly.
• 4:41
  Speaker 5: I felt that and all that. She responded quickly and
• 4:45
  Speaker 5: we got on the phone. Because one of the things
• 4:46
  Speaker 5: I don't do. I don't like just to do business
• 4:48
  Speaker 5: with anybody. I don't want just ask to be just
• 4:51
  Speaker 5: in anybody's anybody's space. We are very protective of where
• 4:55
  Speaker 5: we go. Okay, we're very mindful of it. Did it
• 4:58
  Speaker 5: make sense? Did it make sense for us to do this?
• 5:00
  Speaker 5: And why?
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: Right?
• 5:01
  Speaker 5: And sometimes you don't get the why automatically, but you
• 5:03
  Speaker 5: get confirmation through something that this is it. And so
• 5:07
  Speaker 5: this young lady allows us to be in her space
• 5:11
  Speaker 5: to record today and why wouldn't we have her as
• 5:13
  Speaker 5: a guest like she is very annointed. I can already
• 5:16
  Speaker 5: tell she's a ball of beauty, a ball of beauty
• 5:20
  Speaker 5: inside and out. And she's also I would consider this
• 5:23
  Speaker 5: the beauty industry, y'all. She is the owner of Epiphany
• 5:27
  Speaker 5: Hair Fashion Boutique. And y'all know I don't just am
• 5:32
  Speaker 5: nobody place up.
• 5:33
  Speaker 4: But listen, this place is beautiful, Okay, it is beautiful.
• 5:37
  Speaker 5: Not only is she a business owner, she is a wife,
• 5:40
  Speaker 5: She is a mother, she is a sister, but most importantly,
• 5:44
  Speaker 5: she is a woman after God's heart. And so I
• 5:47
  Speaker 5: present to some and introduce to others missus and Quinetta
• 5:54
  Speaker 5: MAGNI control tell them why I got my hat the
• 6:05
  Speaker 5: block of all, girl, tell me, tell me it's just
• 6:08
  Speaker 5: something we.
• 6:08
  Speaker 4: Can get it. Yes, hate the block of all I got,
• 6:14
  Speaker 4: hate the block of all. We just wanted you to
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: know that we're in here.
• 6:17
  Speaker 5: We're in here, but I can't see where I'm gonna.
• 6:24
  Speaker 5: We gotta be able to sing welcome. I'm gonna call
• 6:26
  Speaker 5: her Netta. She gave me permission to call her Netta, okay,
• 6:31
  Speaker 5: and not to get her confused with any other Netta,
• 6:36
  Speaker 5: not to get her confused. Beautiful Miss Neda, How are
• 6:40
  Speaker 5: you today?
• 6:40
  Speaker 4: Miss Netta?
• 6:41
  Speaker 5: First of all, I want to tell you thank you,
• 6:44
  Speaker 5: so we're opening your space.
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: Thank you so much.
• 6:48
  Speaker 5: When I tell you, this is just I'm excited about
• 6:51
  Speaker 5: where God is taking us. So I'm just I'm just
• 6:53
  Speaker 5: in the moment. I'm enjoying the ride. But this is yeah, yes,
• 6:58
  Speaker 5: this is part of yeah. I just I can't even
• 7:02
  Speaker 5: I'm a speechalist right now. So I'm wonder what makes
• 7:05
  Speaker 5: you speeches? What are you spe about? Because I started
• 7:08
  Speaker 5: praying just you know, just a few weeks ago, about
• 7:11
  Speaker 5: just enlarging certain things. But in that in that moment,
• 7:15
  Speaker 5: I had to realize that.
• 7:17
  Speaker 4: I needed people people, and you were blocking yourself away
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: from that.
• 7:24
  Speaker 5: I just, you know, you talked about this just that
• 7:29
  Speaker 5: strong woman type of thing and not thinking that and
• 7:33
  Speaker 5: not trusting everybody. But you know, I said, Okay, I'm
• 7:36
  Speaker 5: gonna do a little more networking, I'm gonna put that
• 7:40
  Speaker 5: marketing out there.
• 7:41
  Speaker 4: I can't do it all.
• 7:42
  Speaker 5: So this moment right here is just everything for me.
• 7:46
  Speaker 5: So just know that I appreciate you. You know, so I'm
• 7:50
  Speaker 5: not gonna get emotional, but if you do.
• 7:53
  Speaker 4: We got permission.
• 7:54
  Speaker 5: Because you entered the safe space. Okay, so it's not
• 7:58
  Speaker 5: before we get into everything. I want you to tell
• 8:00
  Speaker 5: us a little bit about yourself because I know that
• 8:02
  Speaker 5: you said you more reserved, introverted. Is this your first podcast,
• 8:05
  Speaker 5: Yes it is. It's your first interview. Yes, well other
• 8:09
  Speaker 5: than just me doing it with Kayla, Kayla did some
• 8:12
  Speaker 5: marketing Okay, whatever you guys, So yeah, it's like yes,
• 8:20
  Speaker 5: And that was just a couple of weeks ago, and
• 8:22
  Speaker 5: that was a big thing for me. I was excited
• 8:24
  Speaker 5: in the moment. I was like, oh my gosh, because
• 8:26
  Speaker 5: Kayla is like a ball of energy.
• 8:28
  Speaker 4: You're just you know, and.
• 8:30
  Speaker 5: You're like I was like okay, but it was a
• 8:34
  Speaker 5: learning experience and I was excited to do it. So
• 8:36
  Speaker 5: now it's just like okay, okay, lord, this is this
• 8:40
  Speaker 5: is this is good because I tell everybody I'm an
• 8:42
  Speaker 5: introvert in the extroverted industry. But yeah, I'm bringing it's
• 8:46
  Speaker 5: bringing me out. So I'm glad you said that last part.
• 8:49
  Speaker 5: But I'm not gonna take the people too fast because
• 8:51
  Speaker 5: people still have questions who is this lady. A lot
• 8:53
  Speaker 5: of people don't realize that the connection to the brand
• 8:56
  Speaker 5: is you, right, and so the epiphanies, but who is
• 8:59
  Speaker 5: who owns this space? And so when I come into
• 9:01
  Speaker 5: the space, I see organization, I see boldness.
• 9:04
  Speaker 4: I see just a lot of freedom. It's a lot
• 9:08
  Speaker 4: of and it's peace in here.
• 9:10
  Speaker 5: With all this creativity in here, it's still a peaceful
• 9:13
  Speaker 5: And that tells me about you a little bit. So
• 9:15
  Speaker 5: can you get us to the point, like back us
• 9:17
  Speaker 5: up a little bit? Who is never okay? So I am,
• 9:21
  Speaker 5: like you said, I am a mother, I'm a business owner,
• 9:25
  Speaker 5: I'm a wife. But I am somebody who loves fashion.
• 9:29
  Speaker 5: I'm somebody who dresses up every day, like really yeah,
• 9:33
  Speaker 5: every day. That takes a lot of innergy and it's
• 9:35
  Speaker 5: it's and it's and at first I was just like,
• 9:38
  Speaker 5: you know, you know, maybe I'm doing too much. But
• 9:40
  Speaker 5: then I thought about it, said I just like I
• 9:43
  Speaker 5: just like, you know, just putting things together, making it
• 9:47
  Speaker 5: look good. It just and I think for me, it
• 9:50
  Speaker 5: just brings out the inner beauty. That's where that's that's
• 9:53
  Speaker 5: something that I think epiphany is about, and that's where
• 9:57
  Speaker 5: it came from. Just you know, and through fashion, you
• 10:00
  Speaker 5: just bring out your inner beauty. You be able to
• 10:03
  Speaker 5: be creative in whatever aspect that may be you don't
• 10:06
  Speaker 5: have to necessarily look like everybody else, you know. So,
• 10:09
  Speaker 5: But for me, I am a business owner, I'm a mother,
• 10:13
  Speaker 5: I'm a wife. I'm just somebody out here just trying
• 10:16
  Speaker 5: to make it and thrive and just encourage other women
• 10:19
  Speaker 5: to be confident, because I know that when you have
• 10:24
  Speaker 5: your hair done or you have a nice outfit on,
• 10:27
  Speaker 5: it just brings out that sense of confidence.
• 10:29
  Speaker 4: And it makes you feel better.
• 10:31
  Speaker 5: You may think that, you know, it can be something
• 10:33
  Speaker 5: just as simple as getting your hair done that day.
• 10:36
  Speaker 5: You may be in a funk and once you get
• 10:37
  Speaker 5: your hair and you're like, I'm good, I'm good. Yeah.
• 10:40
  Speaker 5: And so that's what I think epiphany does for people,
• 10:45
  Speaker 5: and that's what I'm here to do.
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: So I'm excited about it.
• 10:48
  Speaker 5: I love that, I love let I love that you
• 10:51
  Speaker 5: got like five questions out of me just with that.
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: So I'm interested in knowing.
• 10:55
  Speaker 5: About baby girl at a list because at some point
• 11:03
  Speaker 5: there was a likening to the fashion industry, and that
• 11:07
  Speaker 5: normally the why or the liking to that comes from
• 11:10
  Speaker 5: that place.
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: Do you recall that place?
• 11:15
  Speaker 5: I can't really recall the place of the moment, but
• 11:20
  Speaker 5: I just know I've always liked clothes and just putting
• 11:23
  Speaker 5: on and dressing up and looking cute or whatever. But
• 11:29
  Speaker 5: and it wasn't about like being seen. That's never been
• 11:32
  Speaker 5: a thing. I think it's just it just always made
• 11:35
  Speaker 5: me feel good. And so even if everything goes it's
• 11:38
  Speaker 5: kind of crazy me putting on an outfit and me
• 11:43
  Speaker 5: feeling good about that. You can't take that away from me.
• 11:46
  Speaker 5: So I don't even know when it started, but I
• 11:49
  Speaker 5: just know it's been a part of me for a
• 11:50
  Speaker 5: long time, and so I think it's just, you know,
• 11:55
  Speaker 5: it's just a characteristic that I just learned to embody.
• 11:59
  Speaker 5: And so I don't know, I don't know when it started,
• 12:02
  Speaker 5: to be honest, I really can't. Was your mom dad like,
• 12:06
  Speaker 5: oh well, I will tell you this, okay. My dad
• 12:08
  Speaker 5: was one of those that you know had his pants pressed,
• 12:12
  Speaker 5: you know, back in the day with the crocodile shoot,
• 12:15
  Speaker 5: did the iron Is underwear? Oh my gosh, everything had
• 12:18
  Speaker 5: to be you know, you know, the pants that will
• 12:21
  Speaker 5: pop open because it's pressed to the teeth. And he
• 12:25
  Speaker 5: wore shades everywhere. What he was one of those. So
• 12:27
  Speaker 5: he was very cool. My mom, she's very color coordinated.
• 12:32
  Speaker 5: She likes like her bracelet like, and that's probably where
• 12:34
  Speaker 5: I got that from Bracelet, you know, she's like. So
• 12:37
  Speaker 5: I will say that both of them probably you know,
• 12:40
  Speaker 5: kind of inspired me into just being able to put
• 12:43
  Speaker 5: things together. So I will I mean, I'm gonna give them,
• 12:46
  Speaker 5: give them their props on that. So you can't say
• 12:49
  Speaker 5: that because you got it from somewhere either. And I
• 12:51
  Speaker 5: found two things for business owner. It's like when I'm
• 12:54
  Speaker 5: doing an interviewing or just naturally talking, it's something that
• 13:00
  Speaker 5: at some point connected the dots for you as Okay,
• 13:05
  Speaker 5: I experienced this and I don't want anybody else to
• 13:07
  Speaker 5: experience this. I felt this way, and I don't want
• 13:10
  Speaker 5: anybody else to feel this way. Or it's I feel
• 13:13
  Speaker 5: this way and I want other people to feel this way.
• 13:16
  Speaker 5: And so your part it sounds like to me, your
• 13:19
  Speaker 5: grace with the latter, because it doesn't it didn't take
• 13:22
  Speaker 5: trauma for you to realize your purpose, right, And normally
• 13:25
  Speaker 5: we hear that, and I think sometimes we look for
• 13:29
  Speaker 5: the pain to pain to give us the prosperity, but
• 13:34
  Speaker 5: sometimes the good things are the things.
• 13:36
  Speaker 4: It's like, oh, I can look at that and just say, oh,
• 13:38
  Speaker 4: this is what I'm good at. I can. I can
• 13:40
  Speaker 4: nurture that. So let's go.
• 13:41
  Speaker 5: Let's go into something you were you were talking about
• 13:45
  Speaker 5: earlier with Epiphany one. First of all, let's not even
• 13:48
  Speaker 5: skip over the name Epiphany, hair Fashion, boutique. We're gonna
• 13:53
  Speaker 5: break that down because epiphany. We understand the word, but
• 13:56
  Speaker 5: I've never heard a business called Epiphany. I'm I would
• 14:00
  Speaker 5: I don't know what I would think it was, but Epiphany.
• 14:03
  Speaker 5: And then you got hair fashion and then boutique. So
• 14:07
  Speaker 5: we got to break that down because my few is
• 14:09
  Speaker 5: no on well clothes. I get stressed out shopping. Okay,
• 14:13
  Speaker 5: so let's break that down. How did you come up
• 14:15
  Speaker 5: with the idea of Epiphany?
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: Okay?
• 14:17
  Speaker 5: So I initially I wanted a hair supply store because
• 14:21
  Speaker 5: I know, you know, as black women, we bout a
• 14:24
  Speaker 5: lot of hair. We bought a lot of hair products.
• 14:27
  Speaker 5: We spend a lot of money in that. But sometimes
• 14:29
  Speaker 5: when we go in different places, even though we spend
• 14:33
  Speaker 5: a lot of money, we're not as welcome as we
• 14:35
  Speaker 5: would think, you know. So I was like, okay, let
• 14:38
  Speaker 5: me do that because I started wearing extensions and.
• 14:41
  Speaker 4: Things like that.
• 14:42
  Speaker 5: So that's what I wanted to do at first, and
• 14:44
  Speaker 5: then I realized how much it costs in order to
• 14:48
  Speaker 5: just you know, have a store open and keep the
• 14:50
  Speaker 5: supplies every month and all that kind of stuff. So
• 14:53
  Speaker 5: I was like, Okay, that's not what i'm gonna do.
• 14:55
  Speaker 5: I think I'm just gonna do the hair bundles, get
• 14:57
  Speaker 5: a little bit of hair care products in fashion.
• 15:00
  Speaker 4: This was a thing.
• 15:02
  Speaker 5: So I just missed you two together and I said,
• 15:04
  Speaker 5: epiphany is wear hair and fashion meat, and so that
• 15:08
  Speaker 5: just kind of came together. And then also, and I'm
• 15:11
  Speaker 5: still trying to figure out who told me. I think
• 15:13
  Speaker 5: it was my husband. He was just like, baby, you
• 15:15
  Speaker 5: just had an epiphany. And so I was like, there
• 15:18
  Speaker 5: we go, like a light board. Yes, he's just having
• 15:20
  Speaker 5: a piff And I was like, I'm gonna do both.
• 15:21
  Speaker 5: I'm gonna do both. I'm gonna do both. I'm gonna
• 15:23
  Speaker 5: have a clothes, I'm gonna have the hair. And there
• 15:25
  Speaker 5: we go. So it's just see Piffany Hair Fashion Boutique
• 15:27
  Speaker 5: and there you go.
• 15:29
  Speaker 4: That's the name. So it just all came together. How
• 15:32
  Speaker 4: long have you and your husband and together? It would
• 15:34
  Speaker 4: be twenty years, twenty next year, my lord, twenty my lord? Year.
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: How did y'all?
• 15:41
  Speaker 5: How did y'all meet, because that's twenty years is that
• 15:45
  Speaker 5: means you was probably about twenty years old, and y'all
• 15:47
  Speaker 5: got me. I'm forty seven, so you look great? Can
• 15:52
  Speaker 5: y'all tell her to come in a year old?
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: Wow? I want to guess it. I wouldn't have guessed
• 15:59
  Speaker 4: it because you don't even like yeah, and you look
• 16:03
  Speaker 4: good guy, and you got yeah. So how did y'all meet?
• 16:10
  Speaker 4: Y'all meet?
• 16:10
  Speaker 5: So I'm also a part time paralegal. So one of
• 16:14
  Speaker 5: the attorneys that I was working for at the time
• 16:17
  Speaker 5: she needed somebody to do some work for her, and
• 16:20
  Speaker 5: so I guess they got the talking. And believe it
• 16:23
  Speaker 5: or not, I was the third person. I was the
• 16:24
  Speaker 5: last one on his list to choose, yeah, because I
• 16:28
  Speaker 5: was the one that already had, you know, a couple
• 16:29
  Speaker 5: of kids.
• 16:30
  Speaker 4: But you know, you got.
• 16:34
  Speaker 5: Outside and as we said, he was outside, and you
• 16:38
  Speaker 5: would he's the last.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 16:40
  Speaker 5: I had just went through a divorce. I wasn't even interested,
• 16:44
  Speaker 5: to be honest. I was just like and she called me.
• 16:47
  Speaker 4: She was like, can I give him your number? And
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: I was like why, Like, I'm not you know, I
• 16:51
  Speaker 4: just went through the vorce. I'm good. And she was
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: like no, he looks like he's a good guy. He said,
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: like kids, blah blah.
• 16:57
  Speaker 5: So, not knowing that she had given him her her
• 17:02
  Speaker 5: sister's number, one another lady's number. Who I knew who
• 17:05
  Speaker 5: this lady was, and so he called both of them.
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: So the lady, first of all, let's back up.
• 17:12
  Speaker 5: The lady was giving out numbers like she was passing.
• 17:16
  Speaker 4: Now ken she.
• 17:17
  Speaker 5: Gave him three options. Lord Jesus was trying to her.
• 17:21
  Speaker 5: She was so it was it was crazy. But I
• 17:24
  Speaker 5: was the slash choice, you know. I was like, Okay,
• 17:28
  Speaker 5: so let's let's missing let's not miss this point. Because
• 17:33
  Speaker 5: you said that you had just gotten out a relationship
• 17:35
  Speaker 5: I did. You were married, So yeah, marriage before marriage?
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: All right, what did that look like for you? How
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: long were you married?
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: Like? What? What?
• 17:48
  Speaker 4: What would that that look like for you?
• 17:51
  Speaker 5: That wasn't I just kind of I was young. I
• 17:55
  Speaker 5: got married at twenty one and it was my daughter's dad,
• 18:00
  Speaker 5: and it just just done prematurely. It wasn't a good thing.
• 18:04
  Speaker 5: I didn't know enough about him, and I just felt
• 18:09
  Speaker 5: like he was a good, you know person to my
• 18:12
  Speaker 5: oldest son, and so I just yeah, and all the
• 18:17
  Speaker 5: signs were there before y'all got married? Oh yeah, because
• 18:21
  Speaker 5: I'm asking. I'm telling you because me and does Raby
• 18:23
  Speaker 5: knows it, Like we were single women, we want to
• 18:26
  Speaker 5: be married. Yeah, and when we hear people go through
• 18:29
  Speaker 5: those you know, through those moments, and we have a
• 18:32
  Speaker 5: lot of single people. I can't even just say women
• 18:35
  Speaker 5: anymore because shout out to the men that is watching,
• 18:36
  Speaker 5: like y'all are watching. Yeah, what we can learn from
• 18:41
  Speaker 5: others mistakes, that's wisdom, right, we can learn from others
• 18:44
  Speaker 5: people's successes as well.
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: And so end that moment.
• 18:47
  Speaker 5: So you're twenty one years old, how did you meet him?
• 18:51
  Speaker 5: I was working as a manager at kmart okay, and
• 18:55
  Speaker 5: so came in a couple of times, very persistent, trying
• 19:00
  Speaker 5: to talk, and I was just like, not really interested,
• 19:04
  Speaker 5: you know, but warm me down. Yeah, So we ended
• 19:08
  Speaker 5: up talking. I mean, got married. I'm trying to think
• 19:11
  Speaker 5: even if it was a maybe a year year, maybe
• 19:15
  Speaker 5: a year after we mad a year and a half,
• 19:17
  Speaker 5: he had already moved in. See all those was I
• 19:22
  Speaker 5: just didn't know enough. So I'm just gonna tell you
• 19:24
  Speaker 5: do your research. Know who you're dealing with. No, no,
• 19:28
  Speaker 5: the family members, I mean, because once you get married
• 19:32
  Speaker 5: you're you're you're married to the family too. They make
• 19:36
  Speaker 5: a very big impact on what goes on, you know.
• 19:41
  Speaker 5: So but just young and didn't know any better. And
• 19:46
  Speaker 5: even though my mom and dad were married for a while,
• 19:48
  Speaker 5: they had gotten divorce, but I didn't know.
• 19:51
  Speaker 4: I just didn't know.
• 19:52
  Speaker 5: So just made the wrong decision. But out of that
• 19:57
  Speaker 5: union came my daughter, my daughter special needs. But she's
• 20:01
  Speaker 5: the joy, the joy of the family. So, oh wow,
• 20:04
  Speaker 5: that you're uncovering some things you're come covers. Put a
• 20:08
  Speaker 5: pin in that because we got to go back to that,
• 20:11
  Speaker 5: because this is also what makes you a business woman
• 20:15
  Speaker 5: a business woman.
• 20:16
  Speaker 4: So the biggest, the biggest thing for.
• 20:19
  Speaker 5: Me is that when we when we talk about uh,
• 20:25
  Speaker 5: your your current marriage, then we back it up and
• 20:27
  Speaker 5: talk about your your prior marriage. What the connection that
• 20:32
  Speaker 5: I'm making is for one, you did not give up
• 20:34
  Speaker 5: like you didn't give up on love and a lot
• 20:36
  Speaker 5: of people I'm finding I'm finding that I'm finding have
• 20:44
  Speaker 5: a hard time with adjusting. And I hear you say
• 20:48
  Speaker 5: that you had an opportunity to pay attention to the
• 20:52
  Speaker 5: red flash. Can you give us more on especially with
• 20:55
  Speaker 5: single women, what what red flags to look for? How
• 21:00
  Speaker 5: to what response that you wish you would have made,
• 21:04
  Speaker 5: and then what you've learned in the transition of the
• 21:07
  Speaker 5: new the new marriage.
• 21:09
  Speaker 4: I know that was a lie. It's kind of like
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: into one.
• 21:12
  Speaker 5: That's good because that's definitely something that I think needs
• 21:15
  Speaker 5: to be said. For one, Like I said, really do
• 21:19
  Speaker 5: your research on who that who who you're trying to pursue, Like,
• 21:24
  Speaker 5: who are who's pursuing you? Like, no, they're real intentions
• 21:29
  Speaker 5: because I think that in the beginning, I really think
• 21:32
  Speaker 5: my ex husband just needed somewhere to stay. I mean, seriously,
• 21:36
  Speaker 5: ain't trying to put this basis out there, but that's
• 21:38
  Speaker 5: how I started out. And so it's like, you wait,
• 21:41
  Speaker 5: hold up, I'm serious. She lives at home with their mind.
• 21:47
  Speaker 5: You know, I'm not trying to be funny. I'm serious.
• 21:50
  Speaker 5: So it's once I look back at it, I was like, Wow,
• 21:55
  Speaker 5: you didn't catch that, Like if you would have called that,
• 21:57
  Speaker 5: you really would have paid attention to that, you know.
• 22:00
  Speaker 5: But that's that's pretty much because I mean, you let
• 22:03
  Speaker 5: somebody into your space kind of early like that.
• 22:05
  Speaker 4: It's just like how early work.
• 22:09
  Speaker 5: It was less than a year as far as you know,
• 22:11
  Speaker 5: it was some months and I'm like, you know you already.
• 22:15
  Speaker 5: I'm like, but where's your home? I didn't even ask.
• 22:19
  Speaker 5: And for a man, make sure that the man is
• 22:22
  Speaker 5: established or at least has something going on. But I
• 22:25
  Speaker 5: didn't know those are questions you need to ask. Okay, yeah,
• 22:31
  Speaker 5: where's your home?
• 22:33
  Speaker 4: Like what are you doing? Where's your home? Do you
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: have a home?
• 22:36
  Speaker 5: Or you living in the basement with your mom? I mean,
• 22:39
  Speaker 5: because if you're trying to pursue me, and you know,
• 22:42
  Speaker 5: I already have a son, I got other stuff going on.
• 22:45
  Speaker 5: So you had a son before you miss, Okay, so now, yeah,
• 22:51
  Speaker 5: good good, I had my I had my oldest son
• 22:53
  Speaker 5: at eighteen, so you know, yeah, I was. I was young.
• 22:57
  Speaker 5: That's a whole nother podcast. I can talk about that,
• 23:01
  Speaker 5: you know. Just yeah, just make sure that they you know.
• 23:05
  Speaker 5: And I was just excited. I was like, oh, well,
• 23:07
  Speaker 5: did somebody else that's you know, kind of bringing joy
• 23:10
  Speaker 5: to my son's life. And I mean he has a father,
• 23:13
  Speaker 5: so but still there was just somebody else to bring
• 23:15
  Speaker 5: some joints like oh he hanging out with them like
• 23:17
  Speaker 5: them blahlah blah. But you know, not really paying attention
• 23:20
  Speaker 5: to the red flash, Like I'm like, where did I
• 23:22
  Speaker 5: didn't even ask where he lived, Like I didn't even
• 23:25
  Speaker 5: really know where he came, you know, came from. I
• 23:28
  Speaker 5: knew the area, but IVE never been over to your hair.
• 23:31
  Speaker 5: Like later on, I was like, what was I thinking?
• 23:35
  Speaker 5: Like I didn't even ask, And so that's when you
• 23:37
  Speaker 5: know you're moving too quickly. That's so good. Yeah, that's
• 23:41
  Speaker 5: so good. It was at you. You're you're hitting on
• 23:46
  Speaker 5: a few topics that are just I could just I'm
• 23:49
  Speaker 5: just I'm kind of like boiling over right now right,
• 23:53
  Speaker 5: I'm kind of boiling over all.
• 23:55
  Speaker 4: Your story is good. It's a lie.
• 23:58
  Speaker 5: Okay, So when we're thinking about red flags, so a partner, Okay,
• 24:03
  Speaker 5: what do you have for yourself?
• 24:06
  Speaker 4: That's basically what I heard you say.
• 24:08
  Speaker 5: I need to ask myself what do I have for
• 24:10
  Speaker 5: me that I could add value.
• 24:13
  Speaker 4: To the next person? Man? Are woman?
• 24:16
  Speaker 5: Man or woman generally speaking, because it's like with us
• 24:20
  Speaker 5: as women too, we have a responsibility to do for
• 24:23
  Speaker 5: ourselves and have something for ourselves.
• 24:27
  Speaker 4: And then we are.
• 24:29
  Speaker 5: Able applicable help me, if that makes sense. And so
• 24:35
  Speaker 5: I love how this story is flowing. That is flowing,
• 24:37
  Speaker 5: and I'm getting chills just digesting. So let's I know,
• 24:42
  Speaker 5: we said, that's a whole nother podcast. But now you're
• 24:45
  Speaker 5: telling me that you are a team mom, right, What
• 24:51
  Speaker 5: what was.
• 24:51
  Speaker 4: That like for you?
• 24:52
  Speaker 5: I know people have different situation circumstances.
• 24:56
  Speaker 4: Did you have.
• 24:56
  Speaker 5: Help, did you have a community, What do you that
• 25:00
  Speaker 5: you've done differently or what taught you in this moment
• 25:04
  Speaker 5: as a what am I trying to say in that moment?
• 25:09
  Speaker 5: What did you learn then that still impacts you?
• 25:12
  Speaker 4: Now?
• 25:12
  Speaker 5: Okay, well I did have a community. Well, I'll just
• 25:17
  Speaker 5: say my mom was there for me. You know, it
• 25:21
  Speaker 5: was six of us. And so when I had home,
• 25:24
  Speaker 5: I had just graduated high school. I had a full
• 25:27
  Speaker 5: scholarship to tell Adegga, I was going to do prelt like.
• 25:30
  Speaker 5: I had my life like planned out. I'm one of
• 25:34
  Speaker 5: those said, hey I like to plan I'm going to
• 25:36
  Speaker 5: plan it. I had it planned out. And so when
• 25:38
  Speaker 5: I found out I was pregnant, I was just like, oh, no,
• 25:40
  Speaker 5: that's not me. I was actually in like I couldn't
• 25:44
  Speaker 5: believe it.
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: I was like, this is.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: Not not me.
• 25:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I really didn't find out.
• 25:49
  Speaker 5: I was almost like five and a half months, so
• 25:53
  Speaker 5: you was little. I was yeah, because I was a
• 25:56
  Speaker 5: cheerleader in school and all that. So just went to
• 26:00
  Speaker 5: the clinic. Found out was boohoo and eyes red, still
• 26:04
  Speaker 5: in disbelief, like this is not me, Like I got
• 26:07
  Speaker 5: my whole life planning ahead, like what, So in that moment,
• 26:13
  Speaker 5: I've told my mom. I fast forward told my mom.
• 26:16
  Speaker 5: She just couldn't believe it because I'm like, like I said,
• 26:19
  Speaker 5: I had my whole life planned out. So decided to
• 26:22
  Speaker 5: you know, hey, I'm too far along at this point,
• 26:25
  Speaker 5: so got to keep them.
• 26:27
  Speaker 4: You know, So decided to do that.
• 26:30
  Speaker 5: She asked me if I wanted to have them and
• 26:32
  Speaker 5: then just go straight to college because he was doing August.
• 26:35
  Speaker 5: So I almost could have done that, but I knew
• 26:37
  Speaker 5: she had already raised six kids, and I'm like, this
• 26:39
  Speaker 5: is that's unfair to her, That's not right. But when
• 26:42
  Speaker 5: I think back, I was like, could I have done that? Though? Yeah,
• 26:46
  Speaker 5: I probably would have been in a different space, you know,
• 26:50
  Speaker 5: because I wanted to be an attorney. That was my thing.
• 26:52
  Speaker 5: That was my goal. Even though I'm a paralegal and
• 26:55
  Speaker 5: I've been there for twenty something years, my goal was
• 26:57
  Speaker 5: to be an attorney. I always wanted to do that.
• 26:59
  Speaker 5: So I was like, uh, but I did have my mom.
• 27:02
  Speaker 5: She helped me out, and so yeah, it was. It
• 27:08
  Speaker 5: was hard because I'm like eighteen and I really didn't know.
• 27:13
  Speaker 5: I knew a couple of girls who had babies early,
• 27:15
  Speaker 5: but for me, it was just a total total shock
• 27:19
  Speaker 5: because I was an honor student, cheerleader, you know, just typical,
• 27:23
  Speaker 5: just somebody you wouldn't think that would Yeah. Yeah, so
• 27:27
  Speaker 5: it's surprised not only you, but it's surprised others around here.
• 27:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah, oh for sure.
• 27:31
  Speaker 5: The beautiful thing that I'm hearing though, even and I
• 27:33
  Speaker 5: love how we backed it up, Like sometimes one question
• 27:36
  Speaker 5: will just unveil so many things and so many opportunities.
• 27:40
  Speaker 5: So what I'm hearing you say is that we're talking
• 27:44
  Speaker 5: to a woman not only a wife, a mother, but
• 27:49
  Speaker 5: we're talking to a business woman. We're talking to somebody
• 27:51
  Speaker 5: that's successful. We're talking to someone that has overcome all
• 27:56
  Speaker 5: these things and made something of herself, not even just
• 27:59
  Speaker 5: some thing, but you desired this, Like this epiphany just
• 28:03
  Speaker 5: didn't come out of nowhere. I almost epiphany didn't just
• 28:08
  Speaker 5: come out of nowhere. Even though the word epiphany, which
• 28:11
  Speaker 5: kind of like an oxy epiphany, just don't come out
• 28:15
  Speaker 5: of nowhere, right, it comes from a source rights so
• 28:18
  Speaker 5: epiphany is it's like when I think of it, Justica's
• 28:22
  Speaker 5: definition of it is like all of a sudden you
• 28:24
  Speaker 5: come up with ideas or something makes sense. And so
• 28:28
  Speaker 5: even with you, this is so good, even with you
• 28:31
  Speaker 5: naming this store. I think it also has to do
• 28:35
  Speaker 5: something with your lifeline, like your fat, like you're build
• 28:38
  Speaker 5: up to where you are now. It's like, oh, it
• 28:41
  Speaker 5: had to make sense, or it's got to make sense,
• 28:43
  Speaker 5: or my lifestyle or what I've been through has gotten
• 28:47
  Speaker 5: me to this point. And another thing I think that's
• 28:50
  Speaker 5: important to point out about your life is that we
• 28:53
  Speaker 5: do have people that not pregnant at a young age
• 28:57
  Speaker 5: or whatnot, or have a lot of children, or speaking
• 29:00
  Speaker 5: a lot of children. My girl, Felicia Child, I gonna
• 29:05
  Speaker 5: have to have her on the pot one day because
• 29:07
  Speaker 5: the girl is bad. Her story is beautiful. She too
• 29:10
  Speaker 5: has you know, experienced divorce.
• 29:13
  Speaker 4: She too has several children that she's managing.
• 29:17
  Speaker 5: But she's doing the dog off thing like I'm just
• 29:20
  Speaker 5: so amazing. And sometimes we can use we can utilize
• 29:24
  Speaker 5: those responsibilities as hinderances to what it is supposed to
• 29:30
  Speaker 5: come out of us. And what I'm hearing you say
• 29:32
  Speaker 5: is that although I experienced this. Yes, although I witnessed this,
• 29:38
  Speaker 5: I still got what God promised me because you thought,
• 29:41
  Speaker 5: you know, you were supposed to be an attorney. But
• 29:43
  Speaker 5: what if that was an opportunity for God to say,
• 29:46
  Speaker 5: you know, you can still be in this field, but
• 29:48
  Speaker 5: I got something else for you to do, something else.
• 29:50
  Speaker 5: I want you to focus on that that is so beautiful. So,
• 29:53
  Speaker 5: speaking of that transition, that gap, what is something I
• 29:58
  Speaker 5: know you said I wish, I wish, I wish. What
• 30:00
  Speaker 5: is something that you learned then that you say, Okay,
• 30:03
  Speaker 5: I can take this now and flip it like what's that?
• 30:05
  Speaker 5: What's that thing? Because as business owners, you're a basically
• 30:07
  Speaker 5: business owner. What I'm learning is you can look at
• 30:10
  Speaker 5: something and just flip the outcome because you like, oh,
• 30:13
  Speaker 5: I see I've seen this before. For me, I guess
• 30:18
  Speaker 5: it would be I guess one thing would be to
• 30:22
  Speaker 5: just believe that you're still good enough.
• 30:25
  Speaker 4: You know that's a right hold up about the pauses?
• 30:28
  Speaker 4: Did you hear what she just said? I did again,
• 30:32
  Speaker 4: I'm taking it.
• 30:32
  Speaker 5: Holy, I'm taking this because that was for me. But
• 30:35
  Speaker 5: go proceed. Yeah, disbelieve that you're still good enough because
• 30:39
  Speaker 5: you can you know, you'll think you know, I'm a
• 30:42
  Speaker 5: girl who grew up in the projects, had a baby
• 30:45
  Speaker 5: at eighteen, you know, you know, and so you would think, okay,
• 30:51
  Speaker 5: you know, I got all these things that society put
• 30:54
  Speaker 5: on you and make it seem like, oh no, you know,
• 30:57
  Speaker 5: she's not gonna do anything.
• 30:58
  Speaker 4: Look at look at her. Look what she came from.
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: I mean she come on, now, she's eight she was
• 31:04
  Speaker 4: eighteen with a baby. Well, like, what's going on?
• 31:06
  Speaker 5: She's twenty one and after a couple of years, you know,
• 31:08
  Speaker 5: she divorced. She's well, now she has two kids. You know,
• 31:12
  Speaker 5: even though I waited, my daughter is I guess about
• 31:16
  Speaker 5: almost seven years, you know, younger than my oldest son.
• 31:20
  Speaker 5: But still it was just, you know, you still have
• 31:25
  Speaker 5: to kind of battle those internal feelings like wow, look
• 31:30
  Speaker 5: look at all that.
• 31:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 31:31
  Speaker 5: But I was like, you know what, I'm still I'm good.
• 31:34
  Speaker 5: I'm still good enough. God can still use me. Like
• 31:38
  Speaker 5: it's not the end of the world is not, even
• 31:42
  Speaker 5: though it felt like in that moment I totally felt
• 31:45
  Speaker 5: like it was.
• 31:46
  Speaker 4: I thought my life was over. I was like a baby,
• 31:49
  Speaker 4: a baby.
• 31:50
  Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, even when I was going through the divorce,
• 31:53
  Speaker 5: I was like, man, I'm still young. I got two
• 31:56
  Speaker 5: kids and I'm going through this. And how old were
• 31:58
  Speaker 5: you when you divorced her? Let me see, it was
• 32:01
  Speaker 5: tw I was I was twenty.
• 32:06
  Speaker 4: Let me see. Oh my gosh, I knew how I
• 32:08
  Speaker 4: was three.
• 32:11
  Speaker 5: So we're talking about year ago. I was twenty five,
• 32:14
  Speaker 5: twenty six, four or five? Yeah, I was married five
• 32:19
  Speaker 5: years on paper? Yeah, five years on paper because I
• 32:23
  Speaker 5: wasn't we you know, we were not together about that?
• 32:26
  Speaker 4: Really?
• 32:29
  Speaker 5: I think there's a space to talk about that that
• 32:34
  Speaker 5: the divorced on paper? What that looks like? So does
• 32:38
  Speaker 5: that mean that you guys were separated? And I'm not
• 32:41
  Speaker 5: trying to hound up, but I think that some of
• 32:44
  Speaker 5: some people think that they're by themselves in certain situations
• 32:47
  Speaker 5: and it's like, oh, well, I'm still with my husband,
• 32:49
  Speaker 5: but we don't live together, or I'm still married and
• 32:53
  Speaker 5: we're trying to figure it out.
• 32:55
  Speaker 4: What did what did that space look like for you?
• 32:57
  Speaker 4: Like we had separated?
• 32:59
  Speaker 5: Okay, I would just say after a couple of years,
• 33:02
  Speaker 5: I you know, even before I knew, I knew, I
• 33:07
  Speaker 5: knew I shouldn't have walked down. Now, but you know
• 33:10
  Speaker 5: your pride, You've told these people, you told your family,
• 33:14
  Speaker 5: you've already planned something. I mean, I wasn't even in
• 33:18
  Speaker 5: a space to where I can really afford to have
• 33:21
  Speaker 5: the winning that I had, Like it was all the
• 33:24
  Speaker 5: signs were there, so you know, you know, fast forward
• 33:27
  Speaker 5: to a couple of years, it just wasn't working. Like
• 33:30
  Speaker 5: you know, I was used to working doing my thing.
• 33:34
  Speaker 5: And if you're mad at me because I at the time,
• 33:36
  Speaker 5: I was in school to become paralegal. I was just
• 33:39
  Speaker 5: had became an assistant manager at kmart, so I was
• 33:42
  Speaker 5: making good money and I was doing really good. But
• 33:45
  Speaker 5: if you're my husband and you're mad because I'm assistant manager,
• 33:50
  Speaker 5: going to school, juggling these things, you're feeling out of
• 33:54
  Speaker 5: place because you know you're mad. You know, you get
• 33:58
  Speaker 5: mad at a job and you quit, you know, and
• 34:00
  Speaker 5: I'm looking at you like like, okay, let's let's get
• 34:03
  Speaker 5: that temper together, because we got it. We got bills
• 34:06
  Speaker 5: to pay, we got stuff to do, like don't quit
• 34:08
  Speaker 5: the job and you don't have anything else going on,
• 34:10
  Speaker 5: Like who does that? So those were things that I
• 34:13
  Speaker 5: kind of juggled with, you know, in my first marriage,
• 34:17
  Speaker 5: and I was just like, man, this is not this
• 34:19
  Speaker 5: is not and it's not gonna work. And then the mouth,
• 34:22
  Speaker 5: the calling out the names. I was like, oh, I said,
• 34:24
  Speaker 5: I wasn't ever gonna do that. So when it got
• 34:26
  Speaker 5: to that point, I was like mm hmm, cause it
• 34:29
  Speaker 5: took me out of my element.
• 34:31
  Speaker 4: And I was like mm hmmm.
• 34:32
  Speaker 5: So you know those five years we separated. Once we
• 34:37
  Speaker 5: decided to permanently separate, I started looking and I was
• 34:41
  Speaker 5: I was ready the foul like it was.
• 34:43
  Speaker 4: I think it was November.
• 34:45
  Speaker 5: It was around Thanksgiving because I remember I think somebody
• 34:47
  Speaker 5: had broken to our home and I was like, I'm leaving.
• 34:52
  Speaker 5: You go where you're gonna go, and I'm gonna go
• 34:54
  Speaker 5: where I'm going, and that's it. And it was oh,
• 34:58
  Speaker 5: that was so toxic, but I'm not gonna eat. Discussed that,
• 35:00
  Speaker 5: but that was my time. And then I ended up filing.
• 35:04
  Speaker 5: I think I found maybe February March. I had already
• 35:07
  Speaker 5: got my apartment. It was me and my kids.
• 35:10
  Speaker 4: I was good.
• 35:11
  Speaker 5: And then I think we were officially separated maybe six
• 35:14
  Speaker 5: months later, maybe September of two thousand and three. So
• 35:20
  Speaker 5: it didn't I mean it was less than a year.
• 35:22
  Speaker 5: I mean, after we left each other, we wouldn't we
• 35:24
  Speaker 5: didn't go back and forth.
• 35:26
  Speaker 4: I was done. That was That was it for me
• 35:29
  Speaker 4: because I knew I already knew. I knew. I kind
• 35:31
  Speaker 4: of knew it going in.
• 35:33
  Speaker 5: But like I said, it was the pride thing, and
• 35:35
  Speaker 5: I was like, oh no, it'd be okay.
• 35:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it wasn't for me. This was It's so good.
• 35:41
  Speaker 5: So in that marriage is where you are conceived and
• 35:45
  Speaker 5: birth your daughter. My daughter, And how old is she now?
• 35:48
  Speaker 5: She's twenty two, she's twenty two. You mentioned earlier that
• 35:51
  Speaker 5: she had special needs.
• 35:52
  Speaker 4: What is that? What does that mean?
• 35:55
  Speaker 5: She is okay? So it's a chromosome disorder. And when
• 36:00
  Speaker 5: we did the genetic testing it whatever it was, whatever
• 36:05
  Speaker 5: the blood or whatever that was, came from my ex husband.
• 36:08
  Speaker 5: It was something rare that he had. So I don't know.
• 36:13
  Speaker 5: I know that the twelfth chromosome didn't have enough matter
• 36:17
  Speaker 5: to make it like, you know, didn't have enough matter,
• 36:20
  Speaker 5: and the thirteenth had too much. So it's like maybe
• 36:23
  Speaker 5: that we're thinking the twelfth chromosome part of that attached
• 36:27
  Speaker 5: to the thirteenth. So I just call it a chromosome disorder.
• 36:31
  Speaker 5: And with that, she has a developmental delay, you know,
• 36:34
  Speaker 5: speech delay. So as far as her just you know,
• 36:41
  Speaker 5: reading and writing it's something that she can't do. She can,
• 36:44
  Speaker 5: she's more of a visual person. She can you know,
• 36:49
  Speaker 5: write RJ for her name. But other than that, but
• 36:54
  Speaker 5: it's it's a developmental delay. And I just on paper,
• 36:57
  Speaker 5: I just call it a chromosome disorder.
• 36:59
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 36:59
  Speaker 5: So she's not autistic because she she talks a lot.
• 37:05
  Speaker 5: He's a social beat everybody. If you ever get to
• 37:08
  Speaker 5: meet her, you would know. She loves music. When she's here,
• 37:12
  Speaker 5: she takes over the candle with the music and she
• 37:15
  Speaker 5: plays everything. She even had her t shirt line it
• 37:18
  Speaker 5: says no singing, please be cause you tell people no,
• 37:20
  Speaker 5: she can please.
• 37:22
  Speaker 4: Tell people no singing. And you like to sing and
• 37:24
  Speaker 4: play music.
• 37:25
  Speaker 5: So yeah, but she when I tell you that's my baby,
• 37:30
  Speaker 5: I don't play about regime everybody.
• 37:32
  Speaker 4: I don't play about Regimee. I don't like. That's my heart.
• 37:36
  Speaker 5: So it's you know, even you know, even with it
• 37:40
  Speaker 5: coming out of that marriage. And he doesn't even have
• 37:44
  Speaker 5: a whatever about her because my husband is like her dad.
• 37:48
  Speaker 4: I met her.
• 37:49
  Speaker 5: I met him when she was she had just turned
• 37:51
  Speaker 5: to so she only knows my husband. Oh wow, And
• 37:54
  Speaker 5: she called my husband her heart. So she said it's
• 37:57
  Speaker 5: my heart and I'm like, that is something. So it's her,
• 38:03
  Speaker 5: it's her special needs or chromosome disorder. Does it kinder
• 38:10
  Speaker 5: her from living alone or.
• 38:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it does.
• 38:13
  Speaker 5: She she's definitely gonna be with us, you know, for
• 38:17
  Speaker 5: the rest of her life because she you know, she
• 38:19
  Speaker 5: can't understand, like she wouldn't be able to sign a
• 38:22
  Speaker 5: contract or you know, do anything like that. She's very
• 38:27
  Speaker 5: social and if you if you're around her, you can
• 38:30
  Speaker 5: kind of know what she's saying, like some words can
• 38:33
  Speaker 5: be kind of you know, to where you like what
• 38:37
  Speaker 5: you say regime. And it's funny because I get my
• 38:39
  Speaker 5: youngest son, he's like her translator'd be like what she said, Christopher.
• 38:43
  Speaker 5: She's like she's saying and I'm like, oh, okay, and
• 38:46
  Speaker 5: this is crazy, but but yeah, she she's she definitely
• 38:50
  Speaker 5: would be with us, you know.
• 38:52
  Speaker 4: And it's fine.
• 38:53
  Speaker 5: It's fine and my and it's exciting because my husband
• 38:55
  Speaker 5: he loves her. He you know that she wants to
• 38:59
  Speaker 5: go with him more than me, and people knows that.
• 39:00
  Speaker 5: It was like, oh, she was her dad. To dad,
• 39:02
  Speaker 5: I was like, you know, she din't want to come
• 39:03
  Speaker 5: with me. She said, she going with her dad. So
• 39:06
  Speaker 5: and it's funny because my ex husband not around, but
• 39:10
  Speaker 5: that's fine.
• 39:11
  Speaker 4: She doesn't she doesn't know.
• 39:13
  Speaker 5: She doesn't want for anything nothing. What you just what
• 39:16
  Speaker 5: you just described with your daughter reminds me of my aunt.
• 39:19
  Speaker 4: My aunt is.
• 39:22
  Speaker 5: My aunt is maybe in her fifties, about to be sixty,
• 39:27
  Speaker 5: approaching it or something like that, and her name is
• 39:31
  Speaker 5: Aunt Lois. She's my dad's sister, and before my grandmother passed,
• 39:37
  Speaker 5: she was the caretaker and they used to argue and
• 39:40
  Speaker 5: fight like casting dollars like it was.
• 39:43
  Speaker 4: It was.
• 39:43
  Speaker 5: It's so funny. But my Aunt Lois is this sweet.
• 39:47
  Speaker 5: When I tell you, she meets no stranger. And I'm
• 39:49
  Speaker 5: not saying I don't know if it's a chromosot.
• 39:51
  Speaker 4: I don't.
• 39:51
  Speaker 5: I don't know, because back then, when she was she
• 39:54
  Speaker 5: was growing up, they just used to call them special.
• 39:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's my old special. They just put them in
• 39:59
  Speaker 4: and there she ain't talking.
• 40:00
  Speaker 5: I think they started recognizing when she was about fourteen
• 40:04
  Speaker 5: years old that she was different, and I think that
• 40:07
  Speaker 5: her development stopped then, so she's still stuck in that
• 40:10
  Speaker 5: adolescent stage. And so we used to look. Now, when
• 40:14
  Speaker 5: I was a kid, I didn't think anything was wrong
• 40:16
  Speaker 5: different about my Auntie lords because at that point, she
• 40:21
  Speaker 5: because she was stuck at that state, I could relate
• 40:24
  Speaker 5: to her.
• 40:25
  Speaker 4: So it's like, oh, that's the fun. You know, she's
• 40:28
  Speaker 4: gonna play with us. We know what she said.
• 40:33
  Speaker 5: Just so just that's how she That's how she talks.
• 40:36
  Speaker 5: She'll watch dishes when.
• 40:38
  Speaker 4: She come over, like I don't have to do no chores,
• 40:42
  Speaker 4: just thinking about my aunt.
• 40:44
  Speaker 5: But as we developed and now we get past that point,
• 40:48
  Speaker 5: I'm recognizing, Okay, she different. Yeah, and she still stayed
• 40:52
  Speaker 5: with Grandma. Can somebody tell me what's going on?
• 40:56
  Speaker 4: But I wouldn't trade it for the world. Like she
• 41:00
  Speaker 4: she's a ball of joy.
• 41:02
  Speaker 5: And I think that having her in our lives gives
• 41:07
  Speaker 5: us an advantage. It gives us advantage because for when
• 41:10
  Speaker 5: it develops your heart for any type of person, right,
• 41:13
  Speaker 5: it doesn't limit you on communicating with anybody, because she'll
• 41:18
  Speaker 5: sit there and talk to you like she known you
• 41:20
  Speaker 5: for years. Like she she is big on time and
• 41:26
  Speaker 5: what time you're gonna do this or what time you
• 41:28
  Speaker 5: and she'll remind you she's a personal calendar.
• 41:31
  Speaker 4: Like it's just she's very special.
• 41:33
  Speaker 5: But I think as it as even thinking about her
• 41:36
  Speaker 5: right now and the opportunity I have with her right
• 41:40
  Speaker 5: now is opening my heart to what I can learn
• 41:43
  Speaker 5: from her through a communicative standpoint, and how I can
• 41:47
  Speaker 5: be pushed beyond my limits because I do have an
• 41:49
  Speaker 5: opportunity to sign my own countries, I do have the
• 41:52
  Speaker 5: opportunity to live in my own space.
• 41:55
  Speaker 4: I do in a blessing because it could have been
• 41:57
  Speaker 4: any of us, any chromosome.
• 41:58
  Speaker 5: Yeah, if you look at it, like any any chromosome
• 42:01
  Speaker 5: could have chromosomed a different way for us.
• 42:03
  Speaker 4: But it didn't.
• 42:04
  Speaker 5: And so now it makes me think, all right, God,
• 42:06
  Speaker 5: why did you construct me? My goodness, why did you
• 42:09
  Speaker 5: construct me like this? Why did you give me this
• 42:11
  Speaker 5: opportunity and not hurt? You know what I'm saying, this
• 42:13
  Speaker 5: is just a good reminder. So how has mothering her
• 42:18
  Speaker 5: developed you personally? It's oh my gosh, you said something
• 42:25
  Speaker 5: there first. It had given me patience, Like I have
• 42:30
  Speaker 5: to realize in dealing with her that I can't just
• 42:34
  Speaker 5: you know, deal with her like like my other like
• 42:37
  Speaker 5: my boys, Like I have to really make sure she's good,
• 42:43
  Speaker 5: she's happy every day, and so you know, when you
• 42:47
  Speaker 5: when you meet her, you just like, man, I need
• 42:50
  Speaker 5: to be more like.
• 42:51
  Speaker 4: Her, like she she you know.
• 42:53
  Speaker 5: It's I don't know if it's the fact that she
• 42:55
  Speaker 5: just don't understand, you know, what's going on. But every
• 42:59
  Speaker 5: day she's happy, she wakes up, she's ready, she no,
• 43:02
  Speaker 5: she loves to go places.
• 43:04
  Speaker 4: You know, you're not going to leave her at home.
• 43:07
  Speaker 5: She's like, okay, you're not getting up going anywhere. Okay,
• 43:11
  Speaker 5: where you Goma?
• 43:12
  Speaker 4: Where you going? And I'm like, okay, I'm going to
• 43:14
  Speaker 4: the boutique.
• 43:14
  Speaker 5: I'm going with you, mama, because she don't want to
• 43:17
  Speaker 5: be at home, like and she goes to this place
• 43:20
  Speaker 5: called unless You you know, a few days a week
• 43:22
  Speaker 5: just to keep her, you know, active or whatever. She's
• 43:25
  Speaker 5: normally here with me on Thursdays. But Unless you is
• 43:28
  Speaker 5: that like a community center, yes, for special needs adult
• 43:31
  Speaker 5: special needs and it's in Vestavia. So and I I
• 43:35
  Speaker 5: tell anybody, oh and then just to give her just
• 43:38
  Speaker 5: a little shout out, they call her regime the Queen
• 43:41
  Speaker 5: Ah And that was because she was the first special
• 43:45
  Speaker 5: needs homecoming queen in that Stabiu.
• 43:48
  Speaker 4: Oh wow, that.
• 43:50
  Speaker 5: Was a moment to where I was just like, she's
• 43:54
  Speaker 5: so sweet and I'm just to have a good community
• 43:57
  Speaker 5: of people that loves your daughter.
• 43:59
  Speaker 4: As she is. I was just it's it's it's good.
• 44:04
  Speaker 5: She just brings me so much short and so even
• 44:08
  Speaker 5: in some days it can be like, okay, Regimee, because
• 44:11
  Speaker 5: she want to know everything. She's gonna ask you a
• 44:13
  Speaker 5: mini questions and she's gonna ask you ten times and
• 44:15
  Speaker 5: you can't tell her something and think that you're not
• 44:18
  Speaker 5: gonna follow through with it. No, ma'am, that sounds exactly
• 44:22
  Speaker 5: like yeah when I tell you exactly, yeah, exactly, Like yeah,
• 44:27
  Speaker 5: you say you're going somewhere, what time you said we're going?
• 44:32
  Speaker 5: Like okay, for sure, for sure. But she has taught
• 44:37
  Speaker 5: me just I mean, the main thing is just patience
• 44:39
  Speaker 5: and there just to be happy because she's choice every day,
• 44:44
  Speaker 5: Like she wakes up, she's ready, she's smiling, she's good.
• 44:47
  Speaker 5: I'm just like, wow, you need to be more like Regimee.
• 44:51
  Speaker 4: She just she good every day.
• 44:52
  Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, so, yeah, that's beautiful. The patience thing
• 44:56
  Speaker 5: is not even just with her, but with yourself. Yeah,
• 45:01
  Speaker 5: let me be patial with myself. And then like if
• 45:03
  Speaker 5: she can wake up and choose joy, why why because
• 45:07
  Speaker 5: she's limited on the opportunities or the experiences that she has.
• 45:11
  Speaker 5: But now I'm sitting here mad because of an experience
• 45:14
  Speaker 5: or because of an opportunity, or because you know what
• 45:16
  Speaker 5: I'm saying, and I just love.
• 45:20
  Speaker 4: I got a shout this young lady, I call her Mook.
• 45:25
  Speaker 4: Her name is Wlatanya.
• 45:29
  Speaker 5: I can't even think about her last Marshall and her
• 45:32
  Speaker 5: and her husband. Her her husband has a I don't
• 45:39
  Speaker 5: know if it's considered special needs or whatever, but I
• 45:41
  Speaker 5: don't know if there's something happened to chromosome. But her
• 45:43
  Speaker 5: baby is like in a wheelchair and all that good stuff.
• 45:47
  Speaker 5: But I experienced them for the first time. I grew
• 45:52
  Speaker 5: up with Moo like being like a big sister to me,
• 45:56
  Speaker 5: and so I hadn't seen her in a while. So
• 46:01
  Speaker 5: I went to this event that they were having, and
• 46:04
  Speaker 5: I saw something that I just have to take with
• 46:08
  Speaker 5: me for the rest of my life. I saw their
• 46:12
  Speaker 5: baby Dallas, being loved on like nothing was wrong or
• 46:16
  Speaker 5: nothing was different.
• 46:19
  Speaker 4: And it wasn't a pity love like this.
• 46:21
  Speaker 5: This type of love was not out of pity, like
• 46:24
  Speaker 5: oh I gotta do this, Oh I gotta I gotta
• 46:27
  Speaker 5: roll him around, or I have to feed him.
• 46:30
  Speaker 4: This was I get to my spirit.
• 46:34
  Speaker 5: So just thinking about it was I get to it
• 46:37
  Speaker 5: makes me want to cry right now. I get to
• 46:40
  Speaker 5: love this child, I get to my God, I didn't
• 46:45
  Speaker 5: even know it did this for me just thinking about
• 46:47
  Speaker 5: it right now.
• 46:48
  Speaker 4: And so even talking about.
• 46:52
  Speaker 5: Children adults with special needs, it's like when I when
• 46:57
  Speaker 5: I think about parents, it's like sometimes it's like, oh,
• 47:01
  Speaker 5: that it's got to be so hard. Which I'm not
• 47:03
  Speaker 5: taking that away, like it's a different type of responsibility,
• 47:08
  Speaker 5: I would say, but to see that just the sense
• 47:12
  Speaker 5: that that Dallas new in his mind. He may not
• 47:14
  Speaker 5: can communicate it, he may not can speak on it,
• 47:17
  Speaker 5: but the way he maneuvered, you can just tell, oh,
• 47:22
  Speaker 5: I know I'm about to be taken care of. I
• 47:24
  Speaker 5: know I'm about to be loved on. I know you
• 47:26
  Speaker 5: know what I'm saying. My sister told him like, oh
• 47:28
  Speaker 5: his daddy, don't keep him in a wheelchair, he carry
• 47:30
  Speaker 5: him and be loved on them, hold them like it's
• 47:32
  Speaker 5: just different. And so I also think, even as I'm
• 47:36
  Speaker 5: saying this, having that responsibility also teaches you how to
• 47:40
  Speaker 5: love deeper, Like what happens when this is so good?
• 47:44
  Speaker 5: This is the love of God, this is true. What
• 47:46
  Speaker 5: happens when my child can only appreciate me from a
• 47:51
  Speaker 5: level of recepting the receiving the love, right, they don't
• 47:56
  Speaker 5: really understand what they are doing for me or what
• 47:58
  Speaker 5: they can do for me. What happens when the only
• 48:01
  Speaker 5: thing they can do is receive. And all I want
• 48:05
  Speaker 5: them to do is just live a good life. That's
• 48:07
  Speaker 5: the love of God. Like you're literally learning the love
• 48:11
  Speaker 5: of God. Because if you want to be honest, we.
• 48:14
  Speaker 4: All special all Lord, that's it.
• 48:24
  Speaker 5: And I tell people all the time, I said, you
• 48:26
  Speaker 5: know what, I'm gonna make sure regime ain't good. I said,
• 48:28
  Speaker 5: she's made sure she lives her best life. I just
• 48:32
  Speaker 5: make sure she lives her best life because you know,
• 48:35
  Speaker 5: I think that's what she deserves. So that's and and
• 48:39
  Speaker 5: and if you if you know me and no Ragion,
• 48:41
  Speaker 5: you would know, I'm like, okay, make sure she her hair.
• 48:45
  Speaker 5: I mean, she's gonna be together. She's a little little
• 48:48
  Speaker 5: bit And I called her my my my first brand
• 48:51
  Speaker 5: ambassador for people. If she come in and see something new,
• 48:55
  Speaker 5: she looking like her eyes just light up. She loves
• 48:58
  Speaker 5: lip glass, she's gonna have a little gloss on. And
• 49:01
  Speaker 5: she loves bangle bracelest so she gonna have a bangle
• 49:04
  Speaker 5: bracelet on. So it's just I just it's it's like
• 49:08
  Speaker 5: you said, it's definitely a deeper love because you're just
• 49:12
  Speaker 5: like wow, you know. And at some some moments, and
• 49:14
  Speaker 5: my husband had to remind me about this. When she
• 49:16
  Speaker 5: started doing special Olympics. He would go because he was
• 49:20
  Speaker 5: a little more flexible at the time than I was,
• 49:23
  Speaker 5: so as far as the job was concerned, so he
• 49:25
  Speaker 5: would go. He was like, baby, you you, I know,
• 49:28
  Speaker 5: you feel some type of way sometimes you like, you know,
• 49:31
  Speaker 5: oh my gosh, you know, I gotta make sure regime
• 49:33
  Speaker 5: got this. And then he said, but some of those kids,
• 49:36
  Speaker 5: like you said, are in wheelchairs, the wheelchair bound. He
• 49:39
  Speaker 5: was like, you're blessed. He was like you good, and
• 49:42
  Speaker 5: I'm like, you're right, Yes, it's okay, it's all right.
• 49:46
  Speaker 5: And so that's that's some of the things that I
• 49:48
  Speaker 5: just love about my husband because he brings that together
• 49:53
  Speaker 5: and he make it make sense when it comes to
• 49:55
  Speaker 5: her for sure, like you ay ay, you been I
• 49:59
  Speaker 5: messed with Regimee. He's on it, Like he's on it.
• 50:03
  Speaker 5: I'm looking at him like I mean, I'm no, he's
• 50:09
  Speaker 5: her dad.
• 50:09
  Speaker 4: So and that's how she knows she she loves. That's
• 50:13
  Speaker 4: her heart. Like she said, he's my heart.
• 50:16
  Speaker 5: That your your story is so beautiful. I think you
• 50:21
  Speaker 5: have an opportunity to tell more because looking at you
• 50:24
  Speaker 5: that I'm gonna talk to desire Ray for Yeah does
• 50:29
  Speaker 5: a right looking at her, I would never guess it. Yeah,
• 50:31
  Speaker 5: I think what what's what I've been thinking about? What's
• 50:33
  Speaker 5: been coming up as I'm just hearing the story and
• 50:36
  Speaker 5: as she talked about Regimee's joy and how it's like
• 50:39
  Speaker 5: she wake up every morning joyful. That's just such a
• 50:42
  Speaker 5: beautiful picture of God right Like he wants us to
• 50:45
  Speaker 5: be child like. Yeah, when we can because we were
• 50:49
  Speaker 5: in this world. You know, it's a lot of seeing
• 50:51
  Speaker 5: a lot of things going on. We were worried. There's
• 50:54
  Speaker 5: a lot of stuff that we that we take on
• 50:56
  Speaker 5: as people. But He just wants us to come to
• 50:57
  Speaker 5: him like a child because she and no care in
• 51:00
  Speaker 5: the world, because she know that how mama and her
• 51:02
  Speaker 5: daddy gonna take care of her. That's the same way
• 51:04
  Speaker 5: God wants to see. We can we can choose joy,
• 51:07
  Speaker 5: we can be we can be in this childlike phase
• 51:09
  Speaker 5: because we know that our father is gonna take care
• 51:11
  Speaker 5: of her, you know what I'm saying. And the only
• 51:13
  Speaker 5: reason why they may know something is wrong with them
• 51:16
  Speaker 5: is because we have we the world has a standard
• 51:18
  Speaker 5: of what is normal. Come on, God don't make no mistake.
• 51:23
  Speaker 5: He don't make so to so to him, she's perfect.
• 51:27
  Speaker 5: And not only is he is she perfect. He trusts you.
• 51:32
  Speaker 5: Come on, He trust you to care for her because
• 51:36
  Speaker 5: he knew that you were gonna handle her with care
• 51:38
  Speaker 5: like he does.
• 51:39
  Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.
• 51:40
  Speaker 5: And I think that's the opportunity that we have when
• 51:43
  Speaker 5: we hear stories like that, is to really just just
• 51:45
  Speaker 5: take a step back and be like, man, the way
• 51:49
  Speaker 5: I've seen things, it's so so different, Like God is
• 51:53
  Speaker 5: love and this man, I'm just like, man, this.
• 51:56
  Speaker 4: Is so beautiful. Like I want joy too. I want
• 51:59
  Speaker 4: to listen. I want to I want to meet regime.
• 52:03
  Speaker 5: Listen this this has been I think there's more to you,
• 52:06
  Speaker 5: and right now you're it's surface level because you're introducing
• 52:11
  Speaker 5: yourself through this podcast to the world worldwide. It's the
• 52:20
  Speaker 5: same space and this is only the beginning for you.
• 52:22
  Speaker 5: I think there, Oh, I'm a I hear okay. I
• 52:27
  Speaker 5: even think there is more to present out of your story.
• 52:32
  Speaker 4: So I wouldn't even be surprised if a book came
• 52:34
  Speaker 4: out of this your story. Some people forget that.
• 52:39
  Speaker 5: It says we we are we thrive off other people's testimonies,
• 52:44
  Speaker 5: right basically, so we get the growth and development opportunity
• 52:48
  Speaker 5: through something throughout your story. And so I think there
• 52:51
  Speaker 5: is a grace for you in a special area loving regime.
• 52:57
  Speaker 5: You know, That's all I could I could think about you.
• 52:59
  Speaker 5: You going through a lot of different things. You've gone
• 53:01
  Speaker 5: through divorce, You've gone through adolescent pregnancy, You've gone through
• 53:05
  Speaker 5: a lot of things, and out of everything, you birth regime.
• 53:10
  Speaker 5: And now you get to learn from regime being her mom,
• 53:13
  Speaker 5: being able to develop her, and not only being her mother,
• 53:18
  Speaker 5: but being a business woman and allowing her to see
• 53:20
  Speaker 5: you thrive as such.
• 53:22
  Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.
• 53:23
  Speaker 5: A lot of people take that opportunity and say, oh, well,
• 53:26
  Speaker 5: I got to put everything and not utilize the village. Right.
• 53:31
  Speaker 5: Your husband being able to love on her and develop
• 53:35
  Speaker 5: her with you gives you the opportunity to still live
• 53:38
  Speaker 5: in your purpose alongside of being her mother, being a mother,
• 53:43
  Speaker 5: being a wife.
• 53:45
  Speaker 4: Man.
• 53:45
  Speaker 5: There's so much strengthen you and so much strengthen your story.
• 53:48
  Speaker 5: I cannot wait to see you five years from now.
• 53:52
  Speaker 5: Use that as a catapult, Like it's almost like I
• 53:56
  Speaker 5: see you launching in the next five years of just
• 53:59
  Speaker 5: being somebody's like you didn't, thank you, Holy Spirit, that
• 54:01
  Speaker 5: you didn't give yourself permission to be. And so now
• 54:04
  Speaker 5: from this day for it, you are permitted. You are
• 54:07
  Speaker 5: permitted to be just that and just what God wants
• 54:10
  Speaker 5: you to be in that moment. And so that's what
• 54:12
  Speaker 5: I've learned from you in this space. And so although
• 54:15
  Speaker 5: I've learned a lot from you and we've talked a lot,
• 54:17
  Speaker 5: one of the things that we love to do here
• 54:19
  Speaker 5: is just ask and how we end things is final
• 54:23
  Speaker 5: thoughts from our guess, so that if they didn't hear
• 54:25
  Speaker 5: anything anything throughout this process, throughout this interview, what is
• 54:31
  Speaker 5: one thing that you want to leave with people?
• 54:34
  Speaker 4: Self love is the best love.
• 54:37
  Speaker 5: That I'm coming to grips with that, like loving me
• 54:42
  Speaker 5: and who I am. And I know there are a
• 54:45
  Speaker 5: lot of things that I want to I feel like
• 54:47
  Speaker 5: I need to change, but deep down inside, I'm okay
• 54:52
  Speaker 5: with me, you know, So yeah, just make sure you're
• 54:56
  Speaker 5: okay and whatever whatever you need to do to change that,
• 55:01
  Speaker 5: do that. I don't think that I'm just gonna be
• 55:04
  Speaker 5: in this space it's just how it's gonna be. Yeah,
• 55:06
  Speaker 5: m you know, therapy whatever, because I just started bout
• 55:09
  Speaker 5: the therapy and I'm like, that's part of my self
• 55:12
  Speaker 5: love journey. So I think that self love is the
• 55:15
  Speaker 5: best love.
• 55:15
  Speaker 4: It just it's just it.
• 55:17
  Speaker 5: It's like the foundation of who I am. So yeah,
• 55:25
  Speaker 5: self love is the best love. It's just my final thoult.
• 55:28
  Speaker 5: So yeah, man, y'all, this is so exciting. I think
• 55:32
  Speaker 5: God has given us an opportunity here desiree to really
• 55:38
  Speaker 5: not only provide a safe space for those who know
• 55:42
  Speaker 5: they are influencers, but to remove the veil and expose
• 55:47
  Speaker 5: the influencer and people you don't know who you just
• 55:52
  Speaker 5: touched with with your story. And so I am appreciative
• 55:56
  Speaker 5: that this was a space that God allowed you to
• 55:58
  Speaker 5: share it and expose it. And don't be surprised when
• 56:01
  Speaker 5: you get more opportunities to be on panels and all
• 56:04
  Speaker 5: that stuff, like, because people people need this. People need
• 56:06
  Speaker 5: to know that you are here, and now they know.
• 56:10
  Speaker 5: Now they know not only do you they know that
• 56:13
  Speaker 5: you are here, they also know that you have a
• 56:15
  Speaker 5: wonderful boutique Epiphany Hair Fashion boutique here and trustful Alabama.
• 56:21
  Speaker 5: Can you shout out the address real quick. Yes, it's
• 56:23
  Speaker 5: five zero one eight Pinnacle Square, Sweet one zero six.
• 56:27
  Speaker 5: I'm at the Pinnacle Mall in between Finish Line and Chicos.
• 56:30
  Speaker 5: And it ain't nothing ratchet about this place. When I
• 56:33
  Speaker 5: tell you the elegance, it's all in your here. Thank
• 56:36
  Speaker 5: you so much for having me. Thank you so much, Desiree.
• 56:42
  Speaker 5: We win, and we keep winning with our guests, and
• 56:44
  Speaker 5: we keep winning. What I guess y'all, y'all show, y'all,
• 56:47
  Speaker 5: show miss Netta some love. We're gonna have our information
• 56:51
  Speaker 5: in the in the description. But remember until next week.
• 56:55
  Speaker 5: Until next time, remember life could be much more simple
• 56:59
  Speaker 5: if you just says.
• 57:06
  Speaker 4: Thank you for tuning in to this week's episode.
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: Since you've made it this far, you might as well
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: connect with us on all social media platforms at d
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: Jessica S. Smith. I know I won't see you back
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: until next week, but until then, remember to love always
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: yourself and always thank.
• 57:26
  Speaker 2: Thank God for one another day. Hey, hey, I know
• 57:32
  Speaker 2: we could be another way. Hey, pray thank God for
• 57:37
  Speaker 2: another day. Hey Hey, I'm just thankful for another day.
• 57:45
  Speaker 2: Hey Hey another day? Oh, another day? Wise, another day
• 57:51
  Speaker 2: to get it right, another day to rise up another day,
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: living another day. We love ones I always remember hold
• 57:57
  Speaker 2: it down for a ball one, yuh