Latest / Wedding Pros who are ready to grow - with Becca Pountney / Streamlining Your Wedding Business with Jen Taylor

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Streamlining Your Wedding Business with Jen Taylor · Wedding Pros who are ready to grow - with Becca Pountney

• 0:00
  Jen: And so it's really sitting down and saying, okay, I'm gonna
• 0:03
  work on today my finance, what do I do on a daily, weekly, monthly,
• 0:08
  quarterly, and yearly basis in finance?
• 0:11
  And then write that down.
• 0:12
  It's just step by step by step.
• 0:13
  It's a pain in the ass.
• 0:15
  I'm not gonna tell you that it's not, but it's a really taking the time to say,
• 0:19
  okay, today I'm going to work on finance.
• 0:25
  Becca: I'm Becca Pountney, wedding business marketing expert,
• 0:27
  speaker and blogger, and you are listening to The Wedding Pros
• 0:30
  who are Ready to Grow podcast.
• 0:33
  I'm here to share with you actionable tips, strategies, and real life
• 0:36
  examples to help you take your wedding business to the next level.
• 0:39
  If you are an ambitious wedding business owner that wants to take your passion
• 0:43
  and use it to build a profitable, sustainable business doing what you
• 0:47
  love, then you're in the right place.
• 0:49
  Let's get going with today's episode.
• 0:52
  Today I'm joined by Jen Taylor, based in Seattle in the usa.
• 0:56
  Jen is the owner of Tailored Events and has been planning weddings for
• 0:59
  over 15 years, as often happens in life, her world's shifted in 2018 when
• 1:05
  she unexpectedly lost her husband.
• 1:07
  After this Jen Taylor Consultancy was founded and it became her mission to
• 1:11
  help creatives just like you build streamlined workflows, processes,
• 1:15
  and procedures to give you more time to spend on what you love.
• 1:19
  Jen, welcome to the podcast.
• 1:21
  Jen: Well, thank you so much for having me.
• 1:22
  I am so happy to be on in the uk.
• 1:25
  Becca: Yes, welcome to an international podcast.
• 1:28
  It's great to have you here.
• 1:30
  We love having guests on for the US because I, I believe that your market.
• 1:35
  Is ahead of ours in the uk.
• 1:36
  So I think we always get some great stuff when we have guests from the us.
• 1:39
  So thank you so much for being here.
• 1:42
  And also in that intro, and I talk about workflows, processes, and procedures,
• 1:47
  that is music to my ears because they're all things that I personally
• 1:50
  struggle with and I'm glad we're gonna be talking about them today.
• 1:53
  Oh, there you go.
• 1:55
  Because as a creative and an entrepreneur, I get shiny object syndrome.
• 2:00
  And I get new ideas all of the time, but what I need more of
• 2:03
  is processes and procedures.
• 2:04
  So we're gonna get into that in a little while.
• 2:06
  But before then I always like to help people understand who
• 2:11
  the guest is on the podcast.
• 2:13
  So let's go right back to the beginning when you started your
• 2:16
  wedding planning business, because.
• 2:18
  People often think, I just don't even know how to get started,
• 2:21
  how to get into the industry.
• 2:23
  So how did that happen for you?
• 2:24
  How was Tailored Events started?
• 2:27
  Jen: Started, well, in 2004 I got married and I, during the
• 2:34
  I had hired a wedding planner.
• 2:36
  And during the process I'm like, you know, it's just project
• 2:39
  management and that's what I'm.
• 2:42
  I do well, and I can do this.
• 2:45
  So I talked to my wedding platter after the wedding was over and she's
• 2:48
  like, oh yeah, you can totally do this.
• 2:50
  Here's the name of your company.
• 2:51
  So my last name is Taylor, so she said, tailored events by Jennifer.
• 2:55
  So I'm like, okay.
• 2:57
  So in 2005, so that was like November, December, we went out to dinner in
• 3:02
  January of 2005, I went to my office.
• 3:05
  I worked at a corporate job.
• 3:08
  And I went to the office and rumors were flying that we were being
• 3:11
  sold, and so I'm like, okay, we'll just sit and see what happens.
• 3:16
  And sure enough, we were sold and I was, I was not asked to move,
• 3:22
  which was totally fine by me.
• 3:24
  And so that was the door that opened.
• 3:26
  So I then took the opportunity to start networking, start getting
• 3:32
  out there, start learning the industry in the Seattle area and.
• 3:36
  I had a, my first wedding was the end of that year, and then nonstop until
• 3:42
  pretty much 2018, I started doing more corporate events or more winery
• 3:47
  events, and then my world fell apart.
• 3:49
  So, as you mentioned, I was starting to, my business was growing.
• 3:53
  I had four planners.
• 3:54
  They were starting to, wanting to try something different,
• 3:57
  looking at other options.
• 3:58
  So the, the company was starting to downsize, which was a miracle in itself.
• 4:03
  And then, Unexpectedly on, on October 30th, my husband collapsed on the
• 4:08
  kitchen floor and I, my life, my life had changed right then and there.
• 4:13
  So, I had still two weddings for 2019 and I had to close down his business.
• 4:19
  So while he was in ER and ICU and all that, I am calling his company,
• 4:24
  letting them know that this might not be a good day for them, and calling
• 4:28
  my clients and letting them know.
• 4:30
  That this happened and I'm gonna be out for a while.
• 4:33
  So yeah, so it was, it was a fun ride and I really enjoyed
• 4:38
  the planning aspect of it.
• 4:39
  And really, I love my clients and it was, it was a fun, it was a fun ride.
• 4:45
  Becca: I think so often in life it is these big life shifts that make us,
• 4:50
  make changes, make us start businesses.
• 4:52
  Even going right back to your wedding planning, you think how much different
• 4:56
  life might have been if you hadn't have let been, let go from that?
• 4:59
  Business, would you have taken the leap?
• 5:01
  Would you have have taken the jump into your wedding planning business and then
• 5:05
  the same in 2018 when your world basically fell apart unexpectedly, overnight?
• 5:11
  And you have to start thinking, okay, maybe this is the
• 5:13
  chance to do something new.
• 5:15
  And I think in those moments, it's horrible.
• 5:20
  But when we look back, we realize that sometimes it's those moments
• 5:23
  that make us do different things.
• 5:24
  Now, one thing I'd really like to just briefly touch on, we talking about
• 5:28
  2018, we own our own businesses, so we know that life doesn't stop When
• 5:33
  we own a business, we still have work.
• 5:35
  And you talked about how you still had weddings in the diary, and I know
• 5:39
  recently something that I've been talking about with some of my clients.
• 5:42
  And something that's not talked about at all is what it's actually like to work
• 5:46
  in this industry and work in romance when weddings right then and there aren't
• 5:51
  the happiest day of someone's life.
• 5:52
  So I've got clients that have been newly single or gone through divorce
• 5:57
  or lost people that they love, and yet they're still having to put that
• 6:01
  smile on and go to the wedding day.
• 6:04
  Was that your experience and how did you get through that time?
• 6:08
  Jen: Well, two years prior, I had lost my mom during, during wedding season
• 6:11
  and that was, you know, kind of a precursor of how I was gonna handle this.
• 6:16
  Not knowing that.
• 6:18
  Luckily when my husband passed away, it was kind of, it was, it is the off
• 6:21
  season for us in late fall into winter.
• 6:25
  So their weddings really weren't for almost another year,
• 6:28
  so they were 11 months out.
• 6:30
  So, It was, I didn't have to deal with like the actual wedding day,
• 6:36
  you know what first dance, things like that for an almost a year.
• 6:40
  So it was a great opportunity to kind of work on myself, work on that.
• 6:45
  So it was not a, it wasn't, I shouldn't say it wasn't a big deal, it was just, I
• 6:49
  just knew, I'm like, this is gonna happen and you can walk away for that moment.
• 6:54
  You can get them ready, get to do all the things, and then, and then walk.
• 6:58
  Or stay and enjoy it because that's the beginning of their life together.
• 7:02
  And it's a fun, and it's a, and it's a, it's a lovely time.
• 7:06
  And so I chose to embrace it and just, and just, and, you know,
• 7:12
  know that my husband was very happy for me to do this, so, Yeah.
• 7:18
  Becca: Yeah, I think that's really helpful.
• 7:19
  Thank you for sharing in that.
• 7:21
  So off of the back of those events in 2018, as I mentioned at the start, you
• 7:27
  decided to set up Jen Taylor Consultancy.
• 7:30
  So where did that come from?
• 7:32
  Why did that event.
• 7:34
  Make you change direction or start something new.
• 7:37
  And what's your vision with that?
• 7:39
  Jen: So it wasn't that, I had already been starting that process in 2018.
• 7:45
  I had taught wedding and event planning at a local community college, and
• 7:49
  I loved the mentoring part of it.
• 7:51
  I loved helping businesses grow.
• 7:54
  And so, It was just a, a natural thing for me to, to look at and event, you know?
• 8:01
  And then we had the pandemic and I'm like, okay, people, it's time
• 8:05
  to work on your, on your business.
• 8:06
  You have time.
• 8:08
  Everybody's freaking out though.
• 8:09
  They don't want anyone to think about that.
• 8:11
  They're like, I've just lost all my business and it's true for me.
• 8:14
  I was like, okay, this is a great time to sit down and work on it,
• 8:18
  but I understand where you're at.
• 8:19
  So, leading up to that, I knew.
• 8:23
  I wanted to help businesses with their process and procedures.
• 8:26
  That's what I did in corporate for a long time.
• 8:28
  I wrote processes and procedures for lots of different things, and
• 8:34
  I'd already created my own standard operating procedure for my business.
• 8:38
  So let's just take that template and go, everybody, I can help you.
• 8:42
  You don't have to recreate the wheel.
• 8:44
  I have it.
• 8:45
  I have the wheel here.
• 8:47
  Let me help you with that, because every in every business has clients.
• 8:52
  What's the biggest part of your business is getting clients onboarded.
• 8:55
  So it was really just a, a natural process for me to get back into that teaching
• 9:01
  mode, get back into that mentoring mode, and have the tools to help them.
• 9:06
  Becca: Even the word standard operating procedure scares me when
• 9:10
  you talk about that, just if there's anyone listening and thinking, I
• 9:14
  don't think I have one of these.
• 9:16
  I'm not sure that I'm running my business in the way that I should.
• 9:20
  Can you just briefly give us an overview of what that should look
• 9:22
  like in the wedding industry?
• 9:24
  Jen: So really your day, you have your operating procedure,
• 9:27
  it's all in your head.
• 9:29
  So what do you do on a day-to-day basis?
• 9:32
  What do you do?
• 9:34
  There's eight parts of your business.
• 9:36
  I'll go into the very high level.
• 9:37
  There's eight parts of your business, and those eight parts all
• 9:42
  have people, you know, just there going, Hey, what about marketing?
• 9:47
  What about finance?
• 9:48
  What about you?
• 9:49
  What about your teams?
• 9:51
  What about your, you know, offerings?
• 9:53
  What about all the things that are in your head?
• 9:56
  You're like, I have all these things.
• 9:59
  And so it's really sitting down and saying, okay, I'm gonna work on
• 10:02
  today my finance, what do I do on a daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly,
• 10:08
  and yearly basis in finance?
• 10:10
  And then write that down.
• 10:11
  It's just step by step by step.
• 10:13
  It's a pain in the ass.
• 10:14
  I'm not gonna tell you that it's not, but it's a really taking the
• 10:17
  time to say, okay, today I'm going to work on finance tomorrow, you
• 10:22
  know, next week or next, next month.
• 10:24
  You don't have to do this all at once.
• 10:26
  You can step it, it, you know, step it out throughout the year.
• 10:29
  Okay.
• 10:30
  Next month I'm gonna work on client expectations or client experience,
• 10:34
  which is a lot to do with the boundaries and expectations.
• 10:38
  So, you know, okay, I need to have, I need to have a best practice sheet
• 10:43
  so people know what my boundaries and expectations are of myself and of them.
• 10:49
  And then how do I onboard those people?
• 10:51
  Do I have you know, a calendar that they can set up appointments?
• 10:55
  Do I have a contact form on my website that says, Hey, I'd love to talk to you.
• 11:00
  Fill this out, and we'll set up a time.
• 11:03
  It automatically sends out a brochure.
• 11:05
  It's a step by step thing, so don't see it as a big, a big monster.
• 11:11
  It's really taking those eight.
• 11:15
  Parts of your business, your eight CEOs, and breaking them out into
• 11:20
  smaller chunks, and then looking at, you know, what do I do?
• 11:26
  With those, so I can offer to your listeners my, my small business task
• 11:33
  list because that's, and it's just really just my task list that I had
• 11:36
  when I was running tailored events.
• 11:39
  It talks about what you need to do on a, you know, daily, monthly, quarterly,
• 11:44
  weekly, you know, all the things.
• 11:47
  And then when we get into clients and you know, the, the client
• 11:50
  experience and expectations.
• 11:52
  I will offer them my best practice sheet.
• 11:55
  So it helps them create that rules list for the, for their clients.
• 12:02
  Like if I knew, if I didn't give a client this best practice sheet
• 12:07
  and they did something, I'm like, Hmm, did I not give that to them?
• 12:10
  Or are they not paying attention?
• 12:12
  So then I go back and look through my folder.
• 12:13
  I'm like, you know what?
• 12:14
  They didn't sign it.
• 12:15
  They didn't.
• 12:15
  I just let it go.
• 12:17
  And they have, you know, this was, and they were texting me.
• 12:20
  I'm like, mm-hmm.
• 12:21
  I'm done with the texting.
• 12:23
  I have to print out now all of your texts from my phone because
• 12:26
  I need to have this all on email.
• 12:27
  I'm not planning your wedding via text, so please change your please change how
• 12:33
  you communicate with me, and it is my own fault for not letting you know that.
• 12:38
  So it's really.
• 12:40
  It's really taking those, those parts of your business and just stepping them out.
• 12:44
  What's next?
• 12:45
  What do I do next?
• 12:45
  What do I do next?
• 12:46
  What do I do next?
• 12:47
  And if you don't know, then that's where you can reach
• 12:50
  out to me and go, I need help.
• 12:52
  Becca: That's really helpful.
• 12:53
  And I am definitely going to be downloading these small business tasks.
• 12:57
  List for myself as well, because I think there's probably things on there that I
• 13:01
  know I need to be doing more of, and I'll make sure that I put all of the links that
• 13:04
  we're mentioning in the show notes for anyone that wants to get them as well.
• 13:08
  Now, let's get into this a little bit deeper then.
• 13:10
  You've mentioned about boundaries and client expectations being one of those
• 13:15
  core aspects of your business that we need to really, really think about.
• 13:18
  And I see this all of the time with my clients, where the boundaries are loose.
• 13:23
  For them and their clients and things go wrong, and they feel like they're
• 13:27
  having to answer emails, texts, Instagram messages, all times of day and
• 13:30
  night, and we know that's not healthy.
• 13:32
  So for a start, why do you feel so passionately about people setting
• 13:39
  these kind of expectations and boundaries, and why is it important
• 13:42
  for them as a business owner?
• 13:44
  Jen: Well, there's three big things.
• 13:47
  There's your health, there's resentment, and then there's burnout.
• 13:51
  So if you don't set these boundaries and expectations with yourself, with your
• 13:58
  clients, and with your family, those are all things that can then affect
• 14:04
  you in multiple, in multiple ways.
• 14:08
  The health is, you know, is the, is the main thing.
• 14:12
  If you're stressed, what do you do?
• 14:13
  If you're, if you're.
• 14:15
  You know, do you not eat?
• 14:16
  Do you eat, you know, drinking too much?
• 14:19
  Whatever it is, it will manifest into your body just shutting down,
• 14:25
  especially if you keep everything inside.
• 14:27
  Like I was a planner that just kept everything in and just did this.
• 14:31
  And my, my body I was later in 2018.
• 14:35
  I was shutting down as well because I couldn't handle, I didn't
• 14:39
  have a release for the stress.
• 14:41
  So that's why I'm so passionate about it.
• 14:43
  Becca: So what does this look like practically then for your business
• 14:46
  or for the businesses you help?
• 14:48
  Is this putting aside three documents, one where you write down your own
• 14:53
  personal boundaries for your health, one that you share with a client?
• 14:57
  I.
• 14:57
  One that stops you with burnout, like how do you practically go about setting these
• 15:01
  expectations and boundaries and making sure people know about them and that we
• 15:05
  are accountable for sticking to them too?
• 15:08
  Jen: Yeah, you can, you can put a thing on your, on your wall or
• 15:11
  wherever on your, like, I need to prioritize, put it on your calendar.
• 15:15
  I need to prioritize.
• 15:17
  Two hours at whatever time because people's bodies are different.
• 15:21
  Mine was always in the morning.
• 15:22
  I could, I can, I'm not getting into a bunch of stuff and then I
• 15:27
  do something before I go to bed.
• 15:29
  So it was really just, you know, centering myself and then decompressing at the end
• 15:35
  of the day, you know, for your family it could be, Hey, this is, this is the rules.
• 15:40
  You know, like especially when everybody was working from home and the kids were
• 15:43
  home from school and everything was going, you know, no one knows what was going on.
• 15:48
  You know, but you're like, I still have clients.
• 15:50
  I'm still trying to, you know, run a business, put a sign on your office door
• 15:54
  and say, unless you're bleeding from the eye socket, do not open this door.
• 15:58
  Like, unless you are, are, are bleeding, gushing blood.
• 16:02
  I don't want, I don't wanna know about it.
• 16:05
  So, you know, you can set those, you know, those are setting
• 16:08
  up boundaries for your family.
• 16:11
  You know, I am working from X to X.
• 16:14
  I am, I'm available at this time if I'm, if the door is closed
• 16:18
  or if I'm downstairs, or what.
• 16:19
  Whatever your situation is, is really setting that time for
• 16:24
  yourself and time for your business, and then with your clients.
• 16:28
  Let them know what days you work, what hours you're working.
• 16:32
  Do you meet on the weekends, are there hours that are consistent?
• 16:36
  Do you, where do you meet?
• 16:38
  When do you, you know, when do you meet?
• 16:40
  Do you meet 'em at their, at your office?
• 16:42
  Do you meet them where they want to meet?
• 16:43
  Are you running all over the, the town to, to meet clients?
• 16:47
  Do you set locations to where you meet or is it video and phone only?
• 16:52
  I have a client.
• 16:53
  I have a, a really good friend.
• 16:55
  She no longer does any, Work on Mondays.
• 16:58
  Monday is her time to focus on her.
• 17:02
  She does things that she wants to do and she has that on her out of office.
• 17:07
  It shows up.
• 17:08
  If this is a Monday, I will not get back to you until tomorrow.
• 17:12
  I had a DJ friend who before he had an office, had three or four
• 17:18
  different Starbucks throughout the Seattle area that he met at.
• 17:22
  So if you were in.
• 17:25
  The south part of Seattle, he had a Starbucks for that.
• 17:27
  If you were in the, you know, in downtown Seattle, he had a Starbucks for that.
• 17:30
  So he knew where he met.
• 17:33
  And if you couldn't then, sorry, I can't meet there, you know, I don't know if
• 17:36
  he was that strict, but, you know, you set up, you know, you set up the time,
• 17:41
  you set up the location, you are the boss, and then how do you communicate?
• 17:47
  For me, it was always email.
• 17:49
  I, I, I don't like texts.
• 17:52
  I'm not a big person on the phone.
• 17:54
  I.
• 17:54
  So email was the best because I can keep track of that.
• 17:58
  I could file that.
• 17:59
  I can go back to look at it.
• 18:00
  I know where it is.
• 18:02
  And then as I said, working from the house, you've got the housework.
• 18:05
  You've got those kids from, you know, days at their, their home sick or
• 18:09
  whatever, interruptions, you know, and then your own, your own personal life.
• 18:14
  Like there's times I'm sitting here, I'm like, man, I gotta start the laundry.
• 18:19
  How do you make sure you are not always.
• 18:22
  Starting the laundry or starting dinner or all of that.
• 18:25
  Like I try to do my laundry in in the afternoon.
• 18:29
  I have my set hours.
• 18:30
  Even now I do better until about three o'clock.
• 18:33
  And then after three o'clock I'm kind of done and I'm like, I'm good.
• 18:37
  And that's when I start doing stuff for me.
• 18:39
  So those are the ways that you can set up those boundaries so you're
• 18:43
  not always feeling like you are.
• 18:47
  Stress.
• 18:47
  And if they're texting you at, you know, at 10 o'clock at
• 18:49
  night, you, you gotta stop that.
• 18:51
  You gotta, you have to set those boundaries because you
• 18:56
  have already let them in.
• 18:57
  And now it's time for you to say, you know what, I'm really
• 19:00
  sorry, but I need to have you.
• 19:04
  Email me or I am, you know, or I'm not gonna answer your text
• 19:08
  until tomorrow morning at x time.
• 19:11
  Becca: Yeah.
• 19:11
  And I think so often we are our own worst enemies because like you said,
• 19:15
  we don't set those boundaries early on.
• 19:17
  And then we start complaining when we feel like people are
• 19:20
  crossing the invisible boundaries.
• 19:22
  So we don't tell them that they can't message us at 10 o'clock and a few times
• 19:26
  we reply to them at 10 o'clock at night.
• 19:27
  And so then they are just expecting that that's what they can do all of the time.
• 19:31
  So practically with a client, So if I've got a wedding photographer
• 19:35
  or a wedding planner and they wanna set out these expectations early
• 19:40
  on, would you suggest that they write a document and get it signed?
• 19:44
  Would they put it on their website?
• 19:45
  Do they put it in their terms and agreements?
• 19:47
  How does this look practically?
• 19:49
  Jen: For me, it was a separate sheet of paper.
• 19:51
  And it was just, and it was also in their, in their online doc.
• 19:54
  You know, I use IO planner, so it was in the IO planner as well,
• 19:58
  in their, in their workspace.
• 20:00
  But it was also a part of what they got from me in the
• 20:03
  beginning of working together.
• 20:05
  And you can have them sign it.
• 20:06
  You don't have to, you know, it's up to you on how you do that.
• 20:09
  You could put it as your terms.
• 20:11
  I've seen people do that too.
• 20:13
  Totally up to you on how you.
• 20:16
  Do that.
• 20:16
  And as I said, I will, I will give you mine because it talks
• 20:20
  about all of these things.
• 20:22
  Plus it talks about, you know, as a planner, it talks about what they
• 20:26
  should expect leading up to the wedding.
• 20:27
  Like, I'm not gonna be, you know, I would love to have those
• 20:31
  place cards already alphabetized.
• 20:33
  I am not gonna be doing X, Y, Z I am.
• 20:37
  I am gonna do this.
• 20:39
  If you have transportation coming for your guests.
• 20:43
  I will check the immediate vicinity around the ballroom, those bathrooms
• 20:49
  just outside the doors, all of that.
• 20:51
  If your guests forget and don't come and miss the last bus, that is not on me
• 20:56
  because if they're out doing something on the golf course, that's not my problem.
• 21:00
  Becca: Yeah, and I think that's so helpful, both for you and your own
• 21:03
  mental health and business management, but also for them to give them clear
• 21:08
  guidelines and give them clear rules cuz they've not done this before either.
• 21:11
  They don't understand what they can and they can't do.
• 21:14
  And I think sometimes people worry, and you might have heard this as well.
• 21:17
  I've definitely heard it a lot.
• 21:18
  They say, well, if I start setting boundaries, then I won't
• 21:21
  get as many clients or people will give me a bad review.
• 21:24
  And we just have this false sense that people are gonna
• 21:27
  expect us to be available.
• 21:29
  And I always say to them, yeah, but if you wanna go and visit Starbucks, On a
• 21:33
  Sunday and Starbucks shuts at 4:00 PM on a Sunday, and you ring them up and say,
• 21:37
  well, I wanna come at 6:00 PM on a Sunday.
• 21:40
  They're just gonna laugh you out of the room.
• 21:42
  Like, we don't expect that we can visit a Starbucks when the Starbucks is shut.
• 21:46
  So why do we think that our clients should expect to speak
• 21:50
  to us all day and all night?
• 21:51
  Do you have that same pushback from people?
• 21:54
  Jen: You do yes.
• 21:55
  And your clients are gonna respect you more with these you
• 21:59
  are now a business owner.
• 22:02
  You're not a planner, you're not a photographer, you're not a dj.
• 22:06
  You are first and foremost a business owner, so you have the
• 22:10
  right to set your hours of work.
• 22:14
  You have the right to do these things because as a business
• 22:18
  owner, That's what we do.
• 22:20
  Becca: So then what do we do when people don't respect the boundaries?
• 22:24
  So we have set out our boundaries.
• 22:26
  We've said to people, you can't contact us on the weekend, or we're not gonna
• 22:29
  reply to you at 10 o'clock at night.
• 22:30
  Or I only do everything by email, not by text.
• 22:34
  And then we have that client and we've all had them.
• 22:36
  That pushes those boundaries hard and then gets crossed
• 22:39
  with us when we don't respond.
• 22:41
  So from your experience or from any of your client's experience,
• 22:44
  how do we deal with that?
• 22:45
  How do we kind of push back without losing our boundaries immediately?
• 22:50
  Jen: Just let them know, Hey, just gonna remind you, this
• 22:53
  is our best practice sheet.
• 22:54
  This is the best practices, this is, this is how we do business.
• 23:00
  And if you can't follow these, And I mean, they're now you know,
• 23:06
  it could be a harassment, it could be, could be many things.
• 23:09
  They could be a breach of contract or they could be, you know, you can let them know
• 23:13
  if you think this is not a great working relationship, we can dissolve this.
• 23:19
  But you give them a little, you know, you give them a warning.
• 23:21
  Like the guy that texted me, I'm just like, dude, I don't give my
• 23:25
  clients my personal cell number.
• 23:27
  Until the bitter end.
• 23:29
  He had my personal cell cell number because his fiance did my nails at the
• 23:33
  time, so he knew how to get ahold of me.
• 23:36
  So then you're like, okay, dude, you gotta stop.
• 23:40
  And he was fine after.
• 23:41
  I mean, it's just really just going, you know, and give them the
• 23:44
  reason why like this is, they just want, the reason why, like, I want
• 23:49
  to, they, they wanna have a life.
• 23:51
  They don't want their bosses reaching out to them at two o'clock in the morning.
• 23:55
  You know, it's the same thing for us.
• 23:57
  We are not their, we are not their employee.
• 24:01
  We are a professional that is, knows what we're doing, and we have set
• 24:09
  these, these boundaries and expectations because we wanna have a life and we
• 24:15
  wanna be able to do this until we're 60.
• 24:17
  I shouldn't say that, who knows?
• 24:19
  But it's, it's really.
• 24:21
  Setting those things for a mental health, and especially nowadays, mental health
• 24:26
  is so, you know, so on top of mine.
• 24:29
  I mean, especially I think you, the people in the UK have really
• 24:34
  embraced that more than, than the us.
• 24:37
  I mean, like, I follow people, I follow the royals, I know what's
• 24:41
  going on, I know where they're doing, I know where they're going.
• 24:45
  And it's, it's a, you know, like you don't see that here.
• 24:48
  You don't see that level of mental health being talked about.
• 24:53
  It's just now getting there.
• 24:55
  I mean, we just had a, you know, I don't, I don't know if he's a,
• 24:58
  he's not a Oh yeah, he's a senator.
• 25:00
  Yeah, dude, I need to go to the hospital.
• 25:02
  I am not doing well.
• 25:04
  My, my, you know, my mental capacity is I am in a depressed
• 25:09
  mode, like more than usual.
• 25:11
  I need to seek, I need to seek help, and that's just never been a thing.
• 25:17
  And now it is.
• 25:19
  And this is, this is, you know, you do not need to get berated by a client.
• 25:23
  You do not because it's a wedding.
• 25:27
  I know.
• 25:27
  It's a big deal.
• 25:28
  It is a big deal.
• 25:30
  But also I like to have, I'd spend time with my family.
• 25:33
  I'd like to spend time with my loved ones.
• 25:35
  I'd like to go on a trip, you know, so, My clients always knew I was
• 25:41
  gonna be gone the beginning of April.
• 25:43
  I told them like, here's my, here's my vacation schedule.
• 25:46
  Like I'm gone.
• 25:48
  And I used, I used to bring bind.
• 25:51
  I mean, this is back in the day where you didn't really have a lot of stuff.
• 25:54
  I mean, I would bring my binders with my, with me on vacation, and
• 25:57
  my mom's like, why do you do this?
• 25:59
  I said, because I might need something.
• 26:02
  Why?
• 26:02
  Why?
• 26:04
  You don't, you don't.
• 26:05
  Especially now everything's, I mean, I do bring my laptop.
• 26:08
  You know, and it gets to boundaries and expectations for vacation.
• 26:13
  If you're gonna work on vacation, you let your family know, like, Hey, I'm gonna
• 26:17
  work a little bit in the morning, check emails, make sure everything's good,
• 26:21
  and then I might check 'em at night.
• 26:23
  My husband used to work, from like six to 10 every morning, cuz his, the
• 26:29
  company he worked for was in the Midwest.
• 26:31
  That's five hours difference from where we were.
• 26:33
  So I'm like, cool.
• 26:35
  I was fine with it.
• 26:36
  I'm like, I'm gonna go to the pool.
• 26:37
  I'll see you at 10.
• 26:39
  You know, it's a, it's a fine line, but it's really keeping your mentals
• 26:44
  in, in, in where you need to be.
• 26:47
  Becca: Yeah, and I think you're right.
• 26:48
  We do talk about it a lot here in the uk, but at the same time, we also
• 26:53
  don't always listen to the advice.
• 26:55
  And I know because I work with lots and lots of people who'll be listening to
• 26:59
  this, who are run ragged and are doing all of the things for the clients, and I hope.
• 27:05
  The, if that's you, when you're listening to this, that you are
• 27:09
  realizing that doesn't have to be the way, there is a different way, and
• 27:12
  each and every one of you can go away today and write this document, have
• 27:16
  a look at what Jen shares with us.
• 27:18
  I'll share it in the show notes.
• 27:19
  Write your own version of that document.
• 27:21
  Because in all things, when we set out the expectations early in
• 27:26
  the process and people are clear on it, then they can't be upset.
• 27:31
  Because they understand if we know that Starbucks is shut on a Monday, we can't
• 27:37
  be upset on a Monday when we can't go and have our Starbucks because we know.
• 27:40
  But if we expect it to be open, if Google tells us it's open, if we think that
• 27:44
  Starbucks is open 24 hours a day and we turn up and it's shut unexpectedly,
• 27:49
  well that's when we start getting mad.
• 27:51
  Like, how dare Starbucks be shut?
• 27:52
  They said on Google, they were open.
• 27:54
  However, when we tell, like when we know the expectations, Then we're not so mad.
• 27:58
  And that's exactly the same for our clients, isn't it?
• 28:00
  If we can set this out in a clear, easy to understand, digestible way right at the
• 28:05
  start, then they won't be upset by you.
• 28:08
  So I hope if you're listening to this, that today you can free yourself from
• 28:12
  some of these boundaries and free yourself from the feeling like you have to do all
• 28:17
  the things because you absolutely don't.
• 28:21
  And I, I think I speak for both of us when we say that we don't want you to be doing
• 28:25
  all of the things because life is Sure.
• 28:28
  And we want you to enjoy, enjoy your life and do the things that you love.
• 28:32
  Exactly like you said, Jen, right?
• 28:34
  Jen: Yes.
• 28:35
  Yes you do.
• 28:36
  I mean, You wanna go on vacation, you wanna enjoy time with your kids,
• 28:39
  you don't wanna, you know, go to a weekend soccer game or, or football
• 28:43
  game and, and, you know, enjoy that time and not feel like you have to
• 28:49
  look at your phone every 20 minutes.
• 28:50
  I mean, I took, I took email off my phone.
• 28:52
  I, I took it off because I was literally sitting in traffic checking my email.
• 28:57
  I'm like, what in the hell am I doing?
• 29:00
  I am literally two minutes away from my house.
• 29:02
  It can wait.
• 29:04
  Like it, I mean, I'm just sitting there and, you know, waiting for
• 29:06
  the light to turn and I'm like, why am I, I'm gonna be home.
• 29:09
  I just left my office five minutes ago.
• 29:12
  I'm gonna be home in two minutes.
• 29:14
  Seven minutes isn't gonna be life or death for this client if I don't
• 29:18
  answer their email instantaneously.
• 29:20
  Becca: Yes.
• 29:20
  And that is a problem for us all because as much as we like to blame clients
• 29:24
  for breaking our boundaries, we also break our own boundaries all the time.
• 29:28
  And we are not good at sticking to those things and not looking at our
• 29:31
  phones when we said we're not going to.
• 29:33
  And so I think it, it does need to work both ways.
• 29:35
  If you are gonna set those expectations out for your clients,
• 29:38
  you have to stick to them.
• 29:40
  Otherwise, there's absolutely no point whatsoever.
• 29:43
  Jen, this has been such a great conversation.
• 29:45
  I've really enjoyed thinking about these things and challenging people
• 29:49
  to think about their expectations, and I will definitely be sharing
• 29:52
  all of those resources we talked about down in the show notes.
• 29:56
  Now, when it comes to my podcast, I always end our interviews with the same question,
• 30:01
  which is, what is one thing you wish you'd known sooner in your own business?
• 30:06
  Jen: I guess that you don't have to do all the things.
• 30:08
  I mean, you don't.
• 30:09
  I mean, this goes back to, you know, not boundaries and expectations, but
• 30:13
  just like, if it's not if you don't know how to do it or if it's something that
• 30:18
  puts you, I would say, in your backseat, it's not something that you love to do.
• 30:23
  You wanna spend, I mean, you wanna spend the majority of your time
• 30:27
  wherever you feel the most joy, if doing your books or doing your social
• 30:33
  media puts you in your backseat.
• 30:36
  Then look at ways to delegate that or find something that makes it easier for you.
• 30:42
  That is something I, you know, I still struggle with because
• 30:47
  you're like, oh, I, I can do it.
• 30:49
  Well, yeah, you can, but is, is it, is it taking away from something that you can
• 30:54
  do better and enjoy and is more client, you know, producing than doing my books?
• 31:02
  Hell yes.
• 31:03
  Becca: Yes, yes, yes.
• 31:05
  Jen, thank you so much for your time today.
• 31:07
  If people wanna reach out to you, and of course whilst respecting
• 31:10
  your boundaries, what is the best place for them to find you?
• 31:13
  What is the best place for them to reach out to you and find
• 31:16
  out more about what you do?
• 31:17
  Jen: So, Jen Taylor Consulting is my website.
• 31:21
  My all my Instagram or, yeah, Instagram, Facebook handles.
• 31:25
  And they can find me there.
• 31:27
  And I do have a private Facebook group design Your Wedding podcast.
• 31:33
  And then I also have a podcast that is Design Your Wedding Podcast, and we do dig
• 31:38
  into all the eight areas of your business.
• 31:43
  And you can, you know, start, we do have a whole thing on
• 31:46
  boundaries and expectations.
• 31:48
  So it is a big, I don't talk about it and I used to talk about it all the time.
• 31:52
  I don't talk about it.
• 31:53
  So when I do, I'm like, I love this.
• 31:55
  It's so fun.
• 31:56
  Becca: Awesome.
• 31:56
  Well, I will make sure that I link to all of those places and
• 31:59
  of course, your podcast, which people can go and check out.
• 32:01
  To and yeah.
• 32:03
  Thank you so much for being here and I'm sure we'll speak again soon.
• 32:07
  Jen: Yes.
• 32:07
  Thank you for having me.