Latest / Finding God at Work / 3: Feelings

Transcript

3: Feelings · Finding God at Work

• 0:06
  (Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Hi, I'm Chris.
• 0:07
  This is Finding God at Work.
• 0:13
  Just a reminder that Finding God at Work
• 0:15
  isn't just a podcast, it's also an online
• 0:18
  course.
• 0:19
  Check it out at FindingGodAtWork.org.
• 0:26
  I still remember picking up the memo and
• 0:29
  seeing my name on it crossed out with
• 0:32
  red pen.
• 0:33
  It was like a punch to the gut.
• 0:35
  I was at a job where I was
• 0:37
  an administrative assistant and my boss reported to
• 0:40
  the CEO.
• 0:41
  Part of my job, very small part, was
• 0:43
  checking the enter office memo area in case
• 0:46
  there were any enter office memos for my
• 0:48
  boss.
• 0:50
  This time around, I had picked up an
• 0:52
  enter office memo from the CEO to my
• 0:54
  boss about a project, a project I had
• 0:57
  not yet heard the plan for, a project
• 0:59
  that my boss had recommended me for.
• 1:02
  And even though my name was on that
• 1:04
  list along with a lot of other names,
• 1:06
  because my boss had recommended me, the CEO
• 1:09
  had taken a red pen and crossed my
• 1:11
  name out and written another name instead.
• 1:14
  Now, the CEO didn't realize that I was
• 1:16
  going to see that, right?
• 1:17
  He wasn't thinking about the fact that I
• 1:19
  was the one that was going to go
• 1:20
  pick up the enter office memo and give
• 1:22
  it to my boss.
• 1:23
  I wasn't supposed to see it, I didn't
• 1:25
  need to see it, but man, the effect
• 1:28
  of seeing my name crossed out like that.
• 1:31
  I appreciated that my boss had recommended me
• 1:33
  for the project, but I just felt so
• 1:35
  small, so unappreciated, so not seen by this
• 1:40
  leader who I respected in many ways.
• 1:43
  I was just like, wow, does this guy
• 1:45
  just not think I have what it takes?
• 1:48
  And it was really hard, it was a
• 1:50
  really hard moment for me.
• 1:53
  Our emotions are a huge part of our
• 1:55
  life at work.
• 1:56
  And so as we go through this series
• 1:59
  of wholehearted, becoming healthier Christians at work, we
• 2:03
  have to attend to our emotions.
• 2:05
  One writer who's helped me understand the life
• 2:08
  of the emotions and how they relate to
• 2:10
  our life with God is spiritual director Alice
• 2:13
  Freiling.
• 2:14
  This is from her book, Seeking God Together.
• 2:16
  She shares a really simple definition of feelings.
• 2:19
  She says, feelings are the spontaneous response we
• 2:22
  give to our interpretation of an event.
• 2:27
  Feelings are the spontaneous response we give to
• 2:29
  our interpretation of an event.
• 2:32
  Now, that word interpretation is really key.
• 2:34
  She unpacks it a little bit further here.
• 2:36
  She says, our feelings will reflect whatever interpretation
• 2:39
  we have.
• 2:40
  This is true even if we're unaware of
• 2:43
  our interpretations and even if our interpretations are
• 2:46
  inaccurate.
• 2:47
  In this way, our feelings give us information
• 2:49
  about what we really think about events and
• 2:52
  relationships.
• 2:53
  When we pay attention to our feelings, we
• 2:55
  may notice unconscious interpretations.
• 2:58
  Then we can ask ourselves, is this feeling
• 3:00
  a response to truth or to falsehood?
• 3:05
  OK, so this is a really, really rich
• 3:08
  view.
• 3:08
  What she's saying is that our feelings are
• 3:11
  an incredible source of information about underlying convictions,
• 3:16
  which she calls interpretations, thoughts, ideas that may
• 3:19
  or may not be conscious.
• 3:20
  So when I had that gut punch feeling
• 3:23
  when I saw my name crossed out, I
• 3:25
  didn't necessarily have a rational, discursive explanation about
• 3:28
  my relationship with my boss's boss and my
• 3:31
  sense of my own well-being as a
• 3:33
  worker in the world.
• 3:34
  But inside of me, there was an interpretation
• 3:37
  about those things.
• 3:38
  And part of what was going on, part
• 3:39
  of why that felt so rough for me,
• 3:41
  is that I had my own doubts about
• 3:43
  whether I could really hack it in that
• 3:45
  job.
• 3:46
  And so even though I was kind of
• 3:48
  chagrined that I wasn't included in this project,
• 3:49
  it also made me question, well, should I
• 3:52
  be on that project?
• 3:53
  Do I have what it takes?
• 3:55
  And so that self-doubt was reinforced by
• 3:58
  this situation.
• 3:59
  That was part of my interpretation of the
• 4:02
  event, was that sense of, I don't know
• 4:04
  if I have what it takes.
• 4:06
  And in reflecting on that event, I was
• 4:08
  able to see, oh, this isn't really about
• 4:12
  the project.
• 4:12
  It's about my sense of who I am
• 4:14
  in the world, and can I get to
• 4:15
  a healthier place, or I'm just okay, or
• 4:19
  I know that I've got what it takes
• 4:20
  to do whatever God expects me to do.
• 4:23
  And if that's true, it doesn't matter whether
• 4:24
  I'm assigned to a given project or not.
• 4:27
  Okay, so these interpretations are not always on
• 4:31
  the surface.
• 4:31
  We have to kind of pay attention to
• 4:33
  our feelings to get behind them and see,
• 4:36
  oh, here's the interpretation underneath.
• 4:39
  So this is one of the ways that
• 4:40
  thoughts and feelings are deeply intertwined.
• 4:42
  These interpretations, even if they're not given expression
• 4:45
  verbally, are a kind of thought.
• 4:47
  They're a kind of conviction.
• 4:49
  They're a way of viewing ourselves and the
• 4:51
  world.
• 4:52
  And you might question, is it really that
• 4:55
  hard to see the interpretations?
• 4:57
  And I would say yes.
• 4:58
  Sometimes the interpretations are hidden super, super well.
• 5:01
  And one thinker that's really persuaded me of
• 5:03
  this is the late, great Daniel Kahneman, Israeli
• 5:07
  -American psychologist, co-founder of the field of
• 5:10
  behavioral economics, along with Amos Tversky, his research
• 5:13
  partner, passed away in 2024.
• 5:16
  Incredible groundbreaking research.
• 5:18
  And one of the ideas that he develops
• 5:20
  in his book, Thinking Fast and Slow, is
• 5:23
  that we have two different ways of thinking.
• 5:25
  We have a fast way, which he calls
• 5:26
  System 1, and we have a slow way,
• 5:28
  which he calls System 2.
• 5:30
  So System 1 is our more immediate, kind
• 5:33
  of messy, quick, automatic response to something.
• 5:37
  Whereas System 2 is our more reflective, deliberative,
• 5:42
  effortful way of trying to analyze what's going
• 5:46
  on.
• 5:47
  Now, the way he talks about these two
• 5:48
  going together is really insightful.
• 5:51
  So let me read this quote from his
• 5:52
  book.
• 5:53
  The attempt of System 2 is who we
• 5:55
  think we are.
• 5:56
  System 2 articulates judgments and makes choices, but
• 6:00
  it often endorses or rationalizes ideas and feelings
• 6:03
  that were generated by System 1.
• 6:05
  You may not know that you were optimistic
• 6:07
  about a project because something about its leader
• 6:09
  reminds you of your beloved sister, or that
• 6:12
  you dislike a person who looks vaguely like
• 6:14
  your dentist.
• 6:15
  If asked for an explanation, however, you will
• 6:18
  search your memory for presentable reasons and will
• 6:20
  certainly find some.
• 6:22
  Moreover, you will believe the story you make
• 6:24
  up.
• 6:25
  System 2 is not a paragon of rationality.
• 6:28
  Its abilities are limited, and so is the
• 6:30
  knowledge to which it has access.
• 6:31
  We do not always think straight when we
• 6:34
  reason, and the errors are not always due
• 6:36
  to intrusive and incorrect intuitions.
• 6:38
  Often we make mistakes because we, our System
• 6:40
  2, do not know any better.
• 6:44
  Okay, that was a lot.
• 6:45
  Let me try and put that in my
• 6:46
  own words.
• 6:47
  Just using that example he gave of you're
• 6:49
  inspired by a certain leader, you trust them,
• 6:51
  you're optimistic about a project with them, but
• 6:54
  the real reason is because they remind you
• 6:57
  subconsciously of your beloved sister.
• 6:59
  So it's System 1 that's generating that connection
• 7:02
  to your beloved sister.
• 7:03
  It's something in the back of your mind.
• 7:05
  You're not consciously aware of it.
• 7:06
  You don't have access to that information, even
• 7:09
  though it's motivating your feelings in the present
• 7:11
  moment.
• 7:13
  System 2 then looks at the outcome, the
• 7:15
  feeling, in response to that interpretation, and says,
• 7:19
  oh, I feel optimistic about this project and
• 7:21
  I trust this leader.
• 7:22
  And then System 2, because it's more deliberative
• 7:25
  and more analytical, says, well, why do I
• 7:27
  feel this way?
• 7:28
  And so then System 2 goes looking around
• 7:30
  for plausible explanations.
• 7:31
  And so you might say like, uh, well,
• 7:33
  it's the leader's track record on the past
• 7:35
  five projects.
• 7:36
  That's, that's why.
• 7:37
  And so you kind of fill in the
• 7:38
  blank, but that's not really a reason, it's
• 7:41
  a rationalization.
• 7:42
  It's an incorrect explanation of why you have
• 7:45
  that feeling.
• 7:46
  Now, this obviously poses problems.
• 7:49
  If we are relying on feelings that are
• 7:52
  generated from one place, but then are telling
• 7:54
  ourselves that they're generated from another place, we
• 7:57
  may end up making decisions that we regret,
• 7:59
  right?
• 8:00
  What if that leader, even though they remind
• 8:01
  you of your sister, actually has a terrible
• 8:03
  track record for the past five projects and
• 8:05
  you haven't really dug into it very much
• 8:06
  because your feeling is so strong.
• 8:08
  So this is, this is why we have
• 8:11
  to have some level of skepticism about our
• 8:14
  immediate feelings about situations.
• 8:17
  Just because we feel a certain way about
• 8:18
  a situation doesn't mean that's automatically aligning with
• 8:22
  reality, giving us access to what reality is
• 8:25
  really like.
• 8:27
  So that could sound like really bad news,
• 8:30
  like putting this together with Alice Freiling, like
• 8:32
  if we can have incorrect interpretations and then
• 8:35
  with Daniel Kahneman, we don't even know what
• 8:36
  they are half the time.
• 8:38
  Like we're kind of up a creek, right?
• 8:40
  What are we supposed to do?
• 8:41
  Well, there's good news.
• 8:43
  There's good news in the story that God
• 8:44
  is telling on the pages of scripture.
• 8:47
  And that's that we are not alone as
• 8:50
  we try to understand our own complex hearts
• 8:53
  and minds and souls.
• 8:54
  We are not alone as we dig through
• 8:57
  our own emotions.
• 8:58
  God wants to help us grow in our
• 9:02
  own emotional self-awareness.
• 9:04
  Now you might be skeptical and say, oh,
• 9:05
  that sounds like psycho babble.
• 9:07
  Is that really what the Bible says?
• 9:08
  But I will bring you to Jonah chapter
• 9:10
  four and I'll show you how the Bible
• 9:11
  shows God helping someone grow in emotional self
• 9:15
  -awareness.
• 9:17
  So actually the last verse of chapter three
• 9:18
  is where we'll start.
• 9:19
  If you don't know the story, Jonah was
• 9:21
  a prophet among the people of God.
• 9:23
  God sent him to a different people, the
• 9:25
  Ninevites who were very cruel oppressors.
• 9:27
  Jonah didn't want to do that, so he
• 9:28
  ran away, ended up getting eaten by a
• 9:30
  fish and vomited out, and then he ends
• 9:31
  up going and preaching to the Ninevites.
• 9:33
  And they repent at his preaching and decide
• 9:36
  to stop their evil ways.
• 9:38
  This is where the story picks up.
• 9:40
  When God saw what they did and how
• 9:43
  they turned from their evil ways, he relented
• 9:45
  and did not bring on them the destruction
• 9:47
  he had threatened.
• 9:48
  But to Jonah, this seemed very wrong and
• 9:51
  he became angry.
• 9:51
  He prayed to the Lord, Isn't this what
• 9:54
  I said, Lord, when I was still at
• 9:55
  home?
• 9:56
  This is what I tried to forestall by
• 9:58
  fleeing to Tarshish.
• 9:59
  I knew that you were a gracious and
• 10:01
  compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in
• 10:03
  love, a God who relents from sin and
• 10:05
  calamity.
• 10:06
  Now, Lord, take away my life for it
• 10:08
  is better for me to die than to
• 10:10
  live.
• 10:11
  But the Lord replied, Is it right for
• 10:13
  you to be angry?
• 10:16
  Jonah had gone out and sat down at
• 10:17
  a place east of the city.
• 10:19
  There he made himself a shelter, sat in
• 10:21
  its shade and waited to see what would
• 10:23
  happen to the city.
• 10:24
  Then the Lord God provided a leafy plant
• 10:26
  and made it grow up over Jonah to
• 10:28
  give shade for his head to ease his
• 10:29
  discomfort.
• 10:30
  And Jonah was very happy about the plant.
• 10:33
  But at dawn the next day, God provided
• 10:34
  a worm which chewed the plant so that
• 10:37
  it withered.
• 10:37
  When the sun rose, God provided a scorching
• 10:40
  east wind and the sun blazed on Jonah's
• 10:42
  head so that he grew faint.
• 10:44
  He wanted to die and said, It would
• 10:46
  be better for me to die than to
• 10:47
  live.
• 10:48
  But God said to Jonah, Is it right
• 10:51
  for you to be angry about the plant?
• 10:54
  It is, he said, and I'm so angry
• 10:56
  I wish I were dead.
• 10:58
  But the Lord said, You have been concerned
• 11:00
  about this plant, though you did not tend
• 11:01
  it or make it grow.
• 11:03
  It sprang up overnight and died overnight.
• 11:05
  And should I not have concern for the
• 11:07
  great city of Nineveh in which there are
• 11:09
  more than 120,000 people who cannot tell
• 11:12
  their right hand from their left and also
• 11:14
  many animals?
• 11:16
  And that's the end of the book of
• 11:18
  Jonah, is that question from God.
• 11:21
  Now, what is God doing?
• 11:23
  Well, I hope you caught this line.
• 11:25
  Right at the beginning, it says, But to
• 11:27
  Jonah, this seemed very wrong and he became
• 11:30
  angry.
• 11:31
  Jonah has an interpretation of the event of
• 11:34
  God forgiving the evil Ninevites.
• 11:36
  And his interpretation is, That's wrong.
• 11:38
  They had it coming.
• 11:40
  They should get punished.
• 11:41
  The grace of God is something that Jonah's
• 11:43
  really having a hard time with here.
• 11:45
  He doesn't want to grapple with the idea
• 11:46
  that God is really that gracious and forgiving.
• 11:49
  So that's his underlying interpretation, is these Ninevites
• 11:52
  do not deserve God's grace.
• 11:54
  These Ninevites do not deserve forgiveness.
• 11:57
  They shouldn't have it.
• 11:58
  That's the interpretation.
• 11:59
  And so I'm right to be angry.
• 12:01
  So you see how his spontaneous response springs
• 12:04
  from his interpretation.
• 12:06
  So then what does God do?
• 12:07
  Well, God draws his attention to his emotions.
• 12:11
  He wants him to be aware of his
• 12:12
  emotions.
• 12:13
  He says, Do you do well to be
• 12:15
  angry?
• 12:16
  Right?
• 12:16
  He's asking Jonah to realize that he's angry
• 12:19
  and to consider why he's angry, to consider
• 12:22
  the interpretation behind the spontaneous response.
• 12:26
  And then just to make it a little
• 12:27
  more clear, God gives him an object lesson
• 12:29
  where suddenly he gets a nice leafy tree
• 12:32
  that gives him shade and then a worm
• 12:33
  comes and eats it.
• 12:34
  And so he's angry again.
• 12:36
  And God says, You were able to have
• 12:38
  compassion over this tree that you did nothing
• 12:40
  for and that was only there for a
• 12:41
  day.
• 12:42
  Shouldn't I have compassion for all of these
• 12:44
  human beings and even the animals of this
• 12:46
  city?
• 12:47
  Don't they matter?
• 12:49
  He's challenging Jonah's attitude about the worth, the
• 12:52
  value of the Ninevites.
• 12:54
  Even the Ninevite animals.
• 12:56
  I just love that.
• 12:56
  God's like, I care about the animals too.
• 12:59
  And Jonah doesn't have enough room in his
• 13:01
  heart to see that these people matter.
• 13:03
  Even though they're not Israelites, even though they
• 13:05
  have done terrible things, they matter just because
• 13:07
  they're created in the image of God and
• 13:09
  God loves them and God wants to give
• 13:11
  them a chance to thrive.
• 13:13
  So God is not telling Jonah you shouldn't
• 13:17
  feel angry.
• 13:17
  That's not what he's doing.
• 13:18
  He's challenging the interpretation that gave rise to
• 13:22
  Jonah's anger.
• 13:23
  He's saying, that interpretation is not right.
• 13:25
  You are not valuing these people the way
• 13:28
  that they deeply deserve to be valued, the
• 13:30
  way that I value them.
• 13:33
  Now, we don't know how Jonah responds to
• 13:36
  God's final question.
• 13:37
  It's just left as a question at the
• 13:38
  end of the book.
• 13:40
  Somebody had to write this book.
• 13:41
  So maybe Jonah had a moment of repentance
• 13:43
  and grappling more deeply with the grace of
• 13:45
  God.
• 13:45
  We can hope, but it's a challenge, right?
• 13:48
  It's a challenge where we now hear God's
• 13:50
  voice to us.
• 13:51
  Do you do well to be angry?
• 13:53
  Do you interpret things in a way that
• 13:56
  aligns with reality?
• 13:58
  Can you pay attention to your emotions in
• 14:00
  a way that leads to you connecting with
• 14:01
  me more deeply?
• 14:03
  And this is really good news for people
• 14:05
  whose hearts and souls and minds and emotions
• 14:08
  are as convoluted and as opaque and as
• 14:09
  tangled as ours.
• 14:10
  We need somebody who can shine a light
• 14:12
  on us.
• 14:14
  And that's what we can pray for.
• 14:16
  As we have this interactive life with God,
• 14:18
  we can ask that God would shine a
• 14:20
  light on our own emotions so that we
• 14:22
  can see what's going on.
• 14:24
  So we can see the interpretations that give
• 14:25
  rise to those emotions.
• 14:27
  And so that we can get closer to
• 14:29
  reality.
• 14:30
  We can get to a place where we
• 14:31
  can move from A to B to C
• 14:34
  in our thoughts in a way that's more
• 14:35
  reflective of reality and not bent by weird
• 14:38
  and hidden motives.
• 14:40
  So rather than our normal prayer, I want
• 14:43
  to end with a prayer from the Book
• 14:44
  of Common Prayer.
• 14:45
  And this is called The Colloqued for Purity.
• 14:48
  It's based on the conviction that God is
• 14:50
  going to help us do this.
• 14:51
  That God knows the things about ourselves that
• 14:54
  we don't even know.
• 14:55
  And He can cleanse us.
• 14:56
  He can heal us.
• 14:57
  He can help us.
• 14:58
  So let's pray.
• 15:01
  Almighty God, to you all hearts are open.
• 15:04
  All desires known.
• 15:06
  And from you no secrets are hid.
• 15:08
  Cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the
• 15:10
  inspiration of your Holy Spirit that we may
• 15:13
  perfectly love you and worthily magnify your holy
• 15:16
  name through Christ our Lord.
• 15:23
  Thanks for listening.
• 15:25
  Finding God at Work is a production of
• 15:26
  Mission Central, a ministry based in Aurora, Illinois,
• 15:29
  dedicated to forming Christians for mission in everyday
• 15:32
  life.
• 15:33
  You can subscribe to the podcast wherever you
• 15:35
  listen to this episode to get 10 minutes
• 15:37
  of teaching on faith and work every Tuesday
• 15:39
  and Thursday.
• 15:40
  To get resources to go deeper with each
• 15:42
  podcast series, read our blog, and get info
• 15:44
  about upcoming courses on faith in the workplace.
• 15:47
  Go to our website, missioncentral.church.