Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #176 The Calm Before The Storm

Transcript

#176 The Calm Before The Storm · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: You did mention my T shirt when I walked in.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: Is this part of the episode?
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Is this now? This T shirt was gifted to me
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: by my children for Father's Day. Oh so now I
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: get to wear the shit are on my chest.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: Welcome back to two doting guards. I'm Maddy Jay and
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: I'm Ash And this is a podcast all about parenting.
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: It is the good, it is the bad and relatable
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: and one thing that I promise I will never do.
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: Actually it's a lie. Last ever said I gave some advice.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: I know. We were like, it's not advice, but it's advice.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: We try not to give advice. Every now and then
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: we can't help it. We have to, like, let the
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: valve go seeps out. We close the valve for shut again.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: It's a lovely shirt, well said, thank you.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I look it's not look it is ship art.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: All kids do shit art, but it's my ship art.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: Who it is that you?
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: It's meant to be me?
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: Looks like you're attacking what's the big blob on the right.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: And we'll put a photo meant.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: To be a love heart. That's a mazy love heart.
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: That one that's cute.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: We'll put a photo up on socials just so people
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: can look at the incredible creations we'll get just to
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: take a decent photo and by your kids. What's those
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: shirts that excel It's a big I like a big shirt.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: You A big shirt means not as.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: Big as you were a few months ago.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: I have lost a little bit of weight.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, are you going to start? It's a parasite moving.
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: To Is a parasite gone?
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is gone. How did you
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: get rid of it?
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: I ate a lot of raw garlic, yeah, trust me,
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: So let me just give you the concoction.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: Please.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: Is this housekeeping?
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: This is not housekeeping? We will go in housekeeping.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: Is house this is cooking with ash. So there's a
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: couple of things that you can do.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: Please.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: Raw garlic, yep, seems to be the most impactful because
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: you could feel it happening.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: Anyway.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: So what you do is you chop up the garlic.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: But what you mix it with honey to attract the parasite.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: Then they eat the garlic and die.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: Parasites don't like garlic.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: I don't like garlic.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: They vampires.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: Yes, they also only come out at night and love blood.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: And the thing is that the garlic won't kill the
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: eggs though, because there's already eggs in you within with
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: in with instchew, yes, what said? Made that up? And
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: then you need to have something like papya seeds, but
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: not chewed. You can't chew them. They got to be
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: there to kill the eggs.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: How does papya seeds?
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: Not a scientist?
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: I just went who's told you this?
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: And then walnuts and pumpkin seeds?
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: How does April go at nighttime when you guys have
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: a little bit of a.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: You know chest? She goes, good, don't you? Ah, that's disgusting.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: Sorry, once you've had the garlic. Because if I have garlic,
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: it's seeped out of me.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: I tell you right now. She didn't come to him
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: because that had a parasite and I didn't have the energy.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: I would have found it. No, No, I didn't have
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: the energy.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: Let's go on to a housekeep. Let's go to housekeeping.
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: I got something for you. I have something for you.
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, okay, wait, there, don't go anywhere. I would
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: never This is from live, She says, Hey, guys love
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: the pod shuckers, especially especially the ones where you talk shit.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: I'm absolutely here for it. Anyway, probably many episodes ago.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: Ash had a story about some concerning play behavior he
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: observed from Macy. I believe the term was serial killer
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: may have been coined.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: Was it the shark?
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: No, it was when she was hiding body parts. Do
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: you remember, Oh, she.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: Was hiding the Lego body part. Yes, well, there's still
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: a bunch of heads missing.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: It reminded me of a confronting scene i'd witnessed from
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: my five year old daughter hiding up her room one day,
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: I found a poorly plotted gravy of doll torsos until
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: I finally stumbled upon the final resting place of the
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: doll's limbs. Oh my goodness, in particular the legs stuffed
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: into a small pot or cup. When I interrogated said
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: daughter on her secret shame, she told me it was
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: a bucket of drumsticks. I'm still wrestling with how I
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: feel about this, and she's put some photos in.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: Oh no, oh my looks so creepy. It does look
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: like drumsticks. A bit go down, I found a cup
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: of Lego heads and water frozen in the freezer. Yeah,
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: so now she's found out how to preserve body.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: Really quickly. The cat Raspberry likes to kill little lizards
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: and she will sometimes bring them inside your cats, you know, like,
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: look what I've brought for you Master. One of these
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: lizards was a bit old, half decade and so some
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: of the bones were sticking out, and Lola was just obsessed.
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: She was like, oh, speak was his Listen, I'm talking
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: like you can see it's not a dragon, and yeah,
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: because it was an old lizard, so have the rib cage. Sorry,
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: I referenced, we're talking like one of those ten centimeter lizards.
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: And Lola was fascinated by the bones, and I was like,
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: she's Jeffrey Darba.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: Oh yes, just it, sell and take some pictures.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: Houski, what do you got?
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: I've got one for you from Linda. This must go
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: back from when we were talking about the pregnancy tests
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: and like things people keep from childbirth, et cetera. She said,
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: I kept my pregnancy tests and they are now mounted
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: in a frame along with the outfit they came home
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: from the hospital, in the hospital wristband, the birth certificate,
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: et cetera. They are both hung in our living room
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: with no con takes. These photos look like there's going
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: to be a bit more. But if you went to
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: this person's house with no context and you saw that,
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: you'd think that they lost both babies, Like Linda, I know,
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: it's beautiful, ash Well, I'm just saying.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: I'm just saying it does look No, it doesn't.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: It looks like you beautiful and you'd be like, I'm so.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: Sorry if you lost It's like what, No, it's beautiful.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: With context and I'm a big fan of context.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: These are adorable. I'm a big fan. I don't have
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: any recollection adult and so again put these photos on
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: the Facebook group on socials join us now. I don't
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: remember what Marlon and Lola were wearing when they came home.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: They definitely had that stripey colored blanket.
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, oh yeah.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: I can't wait to see what you should make shirts
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: than that that look like that, and we and people
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: would and it should just say you know what this is?
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: Where's your birth certificate for the kids?
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: He's good, He's very good. I don't know. I don't
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: even know where mine is. Actually I do know who
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: mine is now because it was like, here's your birth
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: I was like, you have that? Where did you find that?
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: What about your wedding certificate?
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: It's probably in the family filing cabinet somewhere wherever.
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: That is above the fridge.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: It's under a bar, under a key.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: And I was cleaning out the room upstairs which will
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: be the nursery for Poppy. I did find Marley's little medical.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: The risk thing on the foot as well.
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's just like Marley may was born. But
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: I was like it not, I like it, Linda, great idea.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: I April kept the belly button that drops off because
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: you know how you peg it.
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm remembering all this weirdy hint doing
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: the nappy peg up. No pegged out, I can't remember,
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: but I was a bit grossed out by them. And
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: then what did she do with it? Eventually I threw
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: them out. I didn't tell her she's listening.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: Just like beef jerky.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't try and show on it. Did your
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: mum keep you forury? After they cut it off? After
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: it because Laura just told me that Mitch Cherry's mum
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: kept his fory.
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: That's weird that about. You know, there's nothing like love
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: between a mother and so it's much I can put
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: that in the band. Come on, what's wrong and what's
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: wrong with people.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: Unless they really get a good hold of cloning and
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: it's like, hey, thank god, I've got that bit of
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: dried up jerky foreskin.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: I have something really quickly.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: This is still housekeeping.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: I don't know anymore.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: We're just housekeeping is done. It's over finished. That's it, guys,
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: not forever. But today, just down, just really quickly. Just
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: as a parent, Ash, and I'm sure you can appreciate this.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: Maybe the listeners are unaware. You have to be very
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: careful as a parent with what you say to your
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: children because they will believe anything.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: And it's hard for children to decipher what is a
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: joke and what is serious.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: Yes, Like when I said it to you, I was like,
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: when are they going to work out what sarcasm is?
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: Idiots figure it out.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: Turns out Marley hasn't figured it out.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, neither of my kids.
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: I was cooking dinner, okay, and I had some sweet potato.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: They were very thin, very long. One had a bit
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: of a vein on it.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: I'm referring to a video on the internet where she
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: had a really girth.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: It's thick.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: It's a boy a vain running down it.
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: So they weren't the ones that I had.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: Weren't quite as It's okay, they're come in different sizes of.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: But Molly was like what is this? And I was like,
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: this is the sweet potato and she's like what is
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: what is that? Where does it come from? And I
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: thought it would be funny to say, well, actually it's
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: a pig's penis.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, I don't know because I'm fucking twelve, and
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: also it's entertaining for us.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: And she was like really and I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: he's coming from the farm. They're from the pigs and
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: not my best joke.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: No, I think it's great. I love it because she
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: would have confused the shit out of her.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she was like the cogs were turning anyway before
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: I could have the chance to say, it's actually just
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: from the guard and they grow on the ground. It's
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: a vegetable. I then got carried away with cooking. I
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: forgot to correct her. She is now telling people everyone
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: it's like newsday.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: She was like, well, guess what I found out?
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: I say something weird. She's telling everyone. She's just like
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: the town was like, hey, what what have you been
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: telling Marley and I was like, what do you mean.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: It's like I picked her up the other day. She's
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: telling my kids that you guys eating pigs peanises. I
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: was like what and I was like, oh, fuck, that's right.
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: I was like Marley. And so then she was like,
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: you lied to me and I was like, ah, it
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: was the Joe. It's a joke.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: It was meant to be a joke, Like it was,
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: I played a trick on you. That's what it's meant
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: to be. And it's like sometimes you're like you feel
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: bad for about one second. You're the entertainment of it all.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: Like I was putting that table together in the new
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: place that we sat at you the other day, and
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: I was like putting the legs on, and she's like,
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: what are you doing. I was like making a sandwich
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: and she just took off.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: She's like, it's got such a weird diet, I know.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: And I was like that was for me, that was funny.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: She's confused, and I still haven't corrected her. So we're
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: still going on.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: Every time you sit at a table, she's gonna be like,
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: is dad gonna start eating it? Is he gonna start.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: I'm just speaking about Macy really quickly, good segu as
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: she has learnt to say her full name because you know,
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: she's not a great talker.
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: She's still she's a woman of few words.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she doesn't talk very much. Also, she's got she
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: can't say el, so she's ad a lego. She's like, yeah,
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: goom corn on the COB's. But I got her to
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: say her full name because I was like, oh to see.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: First of all, she thought her middle name was the
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: same as Oscars, which is William. She's like, thank you,
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: mind's William to in the middle my grandfather Billy William
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: William Bill.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: I was like, those names don't match.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: William, Matthew Wicks, Matthew, a little bit of Matthew me too.
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: Did you want some more? Sorry?
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: Yes, please? The internet would I apologize? The internet is
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: just about die and anyway, So I got her to
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: say her name. I just thought it, really, you don't
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: want to show just just for just for the part
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: of it. I wanted to show you because I thought
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: it was really cute. Full legal name, sweet, full legal.
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: Name sweet, like Yoda.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: And I was just so she cried, how did you
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: ever read of chocolate?
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: For that.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: Her voice is so cute, melts my inside.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: We're in the car the other day, and this lead
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: me into my just quick other thing, my quick observation
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: that I saw before we move on. So we're in
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: the car and so you came over to my place
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: the other day and you drive down that really long road,
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: a long narrow being lake, you know, and there's the
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: path of Wakers Parkway.
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: Actually try is it? Wacers drive ignore me?
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: I will, And there's a people walk around the lake.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: It's lovely. It's a beautiful, beautiful run. But I noticed
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: the other day only because of Macy spotted her. She
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: was like, look a cat and she said, look two cats.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: I was like what And I look over. There's gonna
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: dry me crazy forever. Two people not walking their cats
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: on this path. They had them in baby carriage, baby
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: beyond baby. It's not like a front mount front mounted.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: Two cats like a couple like this. Cats are like, yeah,
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: so there's two people two cats. Think about that just
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: for say, and it's got the thing over the front.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: Did they look? They look?
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: Honestly, I didn't get that. Good is eighty k's I
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: did slow down to like forty. They were like forty
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: years old.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: Good of great eyes.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: She's got well, she got those young eyes. She's on
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: that side of the car because there's two car seats. Boom,
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: she's she's spotted them and I've slowed right down. Yeah,
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: I was literally like, they're not kids.
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: Also, baby beyond that's that's good money.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they should. They should bring out a pet range.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: I'm not endorsing that actually, because I don't care.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: I do care for what you say here. That is
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: a little bit. I mean, can I just say I
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: will defend pet parents who put their pet in a
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: walker or a trolley type structure if the pet is
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: too old to walk.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: If it's too old to walk, put that fucking thing down.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: What about you can walk? She's a functioning animal.
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: Can no need to yell.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: I have told the story.
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: Doesn't know what date it is.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: I told the story about how my dad's dog died, right,
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: take it away. That dog was like eighteen okay, your
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: dad's dog. Yeah it was. It was our family dog,
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: but it was dad's dog. And the only time it
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: would ever really get up and about was after a bath.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: It would pounce, prance, It was happy after a bath.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean? And my garo okay you
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: and on our balcony was those wires, you know, the
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: wires that go around to keep everyone in yep, okay,
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: the dogs prancing, prancing, and then what it would do.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: It would rub up against the wire because it must
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: feel good. Anyway, one day after a bath, really happy
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: rubbing up against the wire, slipped through the wires, felt
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: two story.
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: Two stories. That's a long way.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: Whack on the ground.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: Survived.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, oh god, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh god. I had
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: to pick the dog up.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: You did, Dad had to pick the dog up, Shane.
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: What kind of dog was it?
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: It was a strange silky terrier.
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: Don't know what that is it show dog? Oh gosh,
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: what a loss.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: But the poor thing, the only happy moment turned into
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: a catastrophic.
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: Fl It'd be like masturbating and then like suffocating in
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: the process.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, some people are into that. And then we had
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: to take it to the vet and put it down.
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: To say thank you for sharing that story.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I just thought, what a way to go.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: How do we get onto this topic?
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: I don't know anyway? Moving go on? Okay, cats and carriers,
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: what's next? Honestly, that's right.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: If your animal is too old to walk on its own,
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: and you want to take the animal outside for a little,
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: a little like you know, fresh air, if you will,
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: and you have to put it in a carrier, I
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: will allow it.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, I think there needs to be some sort
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: of signage to say to explain it.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: It's what I think you can.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: Tell it on the back of the trailer says I
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: am not a pet parent. My dog can't walk, so
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: I'm taking him out for his daily.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: Was trying to scratch itself on the balcony and fell
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: to stories. Sorry, sorry, I don't want to laugh at it.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: Also old neighbor a cat. A cat fell out of
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: the off their balcony seven stories. I found it. It
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: was alive. I had to pick it up and take it.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: The vet survived. Nah, they said, though, wow, you've been
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: through all. We said though. The reason it didn't because
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: you know, cat's land on their feet always, uh not always.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: Apparently they're saying that the cat that didn't fall high
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: enough for it to flip background and land How hot?
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: They yeah, how high was the seven stories? That wasn't
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: not high enough?
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: No fact, seven stories is not high enough for it
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: had to flip on to its feet.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and then I had to break the news to.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: Say, who's saying this?
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: The vet? He's an idiot like her. Thank you. Women
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: can be vets too.
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: Now.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: Also I had to tell I had to tell the
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: old guy that his cat died. And then all of
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: a sudden, I'm buddy comforting a sixty five year old
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: man crying on my shoulder. I'm like, bro, it's a cat.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, is a dog off about it?
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: Moving on, moving on, just really quickly. We are going
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: to speak to Laura in just a second. She is
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: she's currently getting her hair done. Must be nice. This
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: is by the time this comes out, the baby would
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: have arrived. We're recording this right now on a Tuesday.
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: The baby is booked in to be induced tomorrow at
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: eight thirty am.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: Wow, so we will How should I get there?
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: I think nine o'clock. I've allowed guests from nine o'clock.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: You've got front row reserved. Yes, I wonder who's going
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: to be there?
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: Just me?
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: I think Alisha's coming, Laura's sister.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: Great, okay, cool?
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: And so this will be the final word from Laura,
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: her last little interview before she gets split into by
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: a tiny human.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: Well, said, well put Also, I was thinking about go
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: on putting well said on a T shirt.
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: All so every little saying that we come up with,
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: I swear hamishnandiev. I know, I just really quickly want
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: to talk about how disappointing it is as a parent
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: when you invest not just the money but the time
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: for your child to play a sport that they end
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: up hating.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: It's all about whether it goes good or bad on
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: that day.
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: And you know, soccer was such a great idea at
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: the time. We had a little soccer ball around the
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: house and Lola just loved to kick that football. Gosh,
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: she was into it. And we thought, we're gonna do
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: this little little soccer clinic on the weekend. Great coming
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: in the back end of winter and Centennial Park, what
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: a beautiful thing, actual.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: Lovely spring mornings.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: Great afterwards. Man, it is like I'm dragging her to
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: the depths of hell. Every Sunday morning. She hates it
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: so much.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: We do it for them.
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: She wakes up and she's like, what day is it?
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: And I'm like it's a Sunday and she's like it's
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: a soccer day. And I'm like, it is a soccer day.
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: And she's like, don't make me go.
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, for God's sake. And there's another friend
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: that we've made there and we enjoy going together. And
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: I think I'm going to blame the coach. Od No,
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: we got he's out. We've got a new one, a
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: new one. He's Spanish. He's very strict. And I just
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: want to remind people and if you're a coach of
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: a young soccer team, take note, like, you don't have
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: to drill into these kids rules and to be perfect.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: You're not teaching messy here. You're teaching a four year old.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: Let them just have fun to a degree.
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: He rules with an iron fist, and he pits the
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: kids against each other.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: I'm really liking what you're putting down for this guy.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: I'm actually all about this so well.
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: He does this game where you get two groups of kids.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: Right, it's called soccer. You shut the fuck up, like
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: two teams.
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: Two teams.
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: Every kid has, every kid has a number.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: You are just literally describing the game of football.
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: Hang on.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: He then calls number one. Okay, they number ones. Then
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: they run up two teams. They both run into the pitch.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: He throws a ball. They have to then battle it
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: out like gladiators to fight for the ball to then
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: score a goal. Okay, the issue is the kids that
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: have been doing soccer for a long time. Oh it's
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: just starting out.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: Man, what age group?
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: She four?
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: So how have they been doing it for a long time?
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: They're all four because the kids have been there since
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: they were two.
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: Wow, that's commitment.
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: Are some of the boys? Yeah? They are. The European
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: kids are like they rock up in their football boots already.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: Lola's just there and like her slippers.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: None of them could swim though, thank you.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: I needed that. And Lola hates how competitive it is.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: Hates it.
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: She strikes me as a competitive.
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: Not bro really not the moment you start fighting against
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: another kid, the coaches there giving them fucking knives and
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: he's like, all right, you're the wins scored a goal
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: and I'm like you just there's no need for this.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: To the death. All they want to do is just
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: kick the ball into the net. So I'm paying this
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: crazy amount of money and I end up just I
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: kicked the ball with Lola, like just by ourselves, and
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: I'm paying like a hundred bucks for it.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and they really wrench it on the sport. Hey,
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: oh dude, the only like for Oscar. With jiu jitsu,
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: he was like hating it. And now last night he
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: was like, I want to do it every day. And
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh thank god, because I was like,
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: I'm I'm throw I said to him, I'm throwing money
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: down the toilet here because you wanted to go. You went.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: You had one bad day out of all the good days,
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: and all of a sudden you hang on to that.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: So the anxiety gets to him on the way, which
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: is fine, and I'm like, you're allowed to be anxious.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: Everyone is anxious before they do things. You just don't
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: know the unexpected.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: I just want her to have a little win, a
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: win on the pitch.
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: That's all she needs.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: I reckon, that's all she needs, bro. And she gets there.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: Soon as she gets one ball taken away from her,
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: she's like I'm out.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah. It was like oscool with rugby union. He was
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: like he got tackled, and I'm like, that's footy.
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: Just again, coaches, if you're listening to this, if they're
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: four years or if they're under six, just make it fun, right.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: Everyone's a winner. If you touch the ball, you win.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: Let me ask you a question, is is he a parent?
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: I don't know. Probably No, I don't reckon he is.
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: I reckon he's just a soccer fanatic. Yeah, yeah, we've
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: gotten this.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: Coach the team. You're fun.
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm doing at the moment with all the kids,
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: all the kids who aren't good enough, he's got, He's
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: got two kids that are great. I take the rest
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: of them. I'm at the pied piper of the bad
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: kids who can't kick football, and I'm there like encouraging
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: them and having fun with them. Meanwhile, Lionel Messi and
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: here's another football player, Ronaldo.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: Which one?
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: Shut up?
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: I think you should be a pioneer and just go
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: listen here like Stuve Ross or something something Spanish that's racist,
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: is it? What's a common Spanish name? You just go
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: step aside, Sunny Jim.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: I'm paying a hundred fucking bucks a lesson. I'm not
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: going to then pay that money to then coach the class.
• 25:11
  Speaker 4: What do you want from me?
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: We just want to see, We just want to know
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: how you're feeling.
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: And we've been trying to get you on the podcast
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: for so bloody long.
• 25:18
  Speaker 5: There's a couple of bones to pick Okay, Well, I'm
• 25:21
  Speaker 5: having a baby tomorrow, so I'm glad that we've left
• 25:23
  Speaker 5: it to the very last minute.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: Strategically, this could bring on labor.
• 25:28
  Speaker 5: This could be so uncomfortable for you. Like a stretching sweep,
• 25:31
  Speaker 5: it might bring on labor.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: I do love a good stretch and sweep.
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: How are you feeling, In all honesty.
• 25:40
  Speaker 5: I am at the end of my tether at the moment.
• 25:43
  Speaker 5: I feel as though I'm having a near death experience
• 25:46
  Speaker 5: and there is something inside me that's crushing all my
• 25:48
  Speaker 5: internal organs and it's trying to exit through.
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: My pubic bone.
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: So you're not horny.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: She's really trying to rush this podcast along. She just
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: gave us a fullpiel.
• 25:58
  Speaker 4: It was so good.
• 25:59
  Speaker 5: I would really, really like I would have said that
• 26:01
  Speaker 5: this was my easiest pregnancy up until about three weeks ago,
• 26:04
  Speaker 5: and now it is my worst.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: And you know that we we did call an expert.
• 26:10
  Speaker 4: About do you first have a parenting podcast?
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: Do we We talk a lot of topics other than parenting.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: This episode has been mostly about dying pets.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: A few pets have died one more time out of
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: the table. You're going with him.
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: We've tried everything to have. That's the cake. O. I thought.
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: He's made this kid a birthday cake.
• 26:39
  Speaker 4: Why guys making cakes? Stop pretending like you actually.
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: Does that job. Laura, Yeah right, this is this. This
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: is the sort of thing. Is it not amazing?
• 26:48
  Speaker 4: There you go, Poppy, this is all for you. Daddy's
• 26:50
  Speaker 4: been baking.
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: You're welcome.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: I don't think Pop, we can hear. Yeah. So if
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: that baby comes out of Siliac, you're all good. I
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: just learned that word today. That's why I've used it.
• 27:02
  Speaker 4: It's like Celia is really bad.
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: I thought Celiac had something to do with your spine
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: until I realized it was that scolios.
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: I gotta laugh.
• 27:18
  Speaker 4: Just that your internal thoughts coming out externally.
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: That's nothing.
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: We already touched the side.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: What were we talking about the other day? My place?
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: And you're no, it was here, and you're like, it's fascinating.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: Bennett the last name, Oh yeah, double double N, double t,
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: and you're like, your brain.
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: We had doctor Bennett on and that's that's what I
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: came out. That's the biggest takeaway.
• 27:37
  Speaker 4: Was Okay, is doctor Bennett connect?
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: She said? She said way back, we should have sex
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: because the semen is going to help bring the baby out.
• 27:46
  Speaker 5: So apparently the amount of semen that you actually need
• 27:50
  Speaker 5: to bring on labor is akin to a liita. Is
• 27:52
  Speaker 5: it like that you would need for there to be
• 27:55
  Speaker 5: enough hormones in the semen that does bring on labor?
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: And let's ae.
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: Women have told me to be.
• 28:01
  Speaker 4: Fair about it's been banking here for a while.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: It needs more troops in there, you know what I mean.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: It's like tugger war. Get in there, unload the leader's
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: worth the seeming in there, and pull that baby out.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: We got to get to work.
• 28:17
  Speaker 4: Then, I would like to unsubscribe.
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: Honestly, this is for Laura to talk about her. She's
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: having a hard time. Am I would like to know,
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: friend of friend, husband and wife, how are you feeling
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: about what life will be like with three children in
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: the mix.
• 28:37
  Speaker 5: Some days I'm really excited about it. And then some
• 28:40
  Speaker 5: days when both kids are not listening and we're both
• 28:43
  Speaker 5: annoyed at each other, I'm like, Wow, this is going
• 28:46
  Speaker 5: to be a lot, like we're going back into the trenches.
• 28:47
  Speaker 5: But also I feel like we know what we're in
• 28:49
  Speaker 5: for because we've now done it. We're like old ducks
• 28:51
  Speaker 5: at this parenting business.
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: But when I'm freaking out.
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: That's a fools game going in.
• 28:54
  Speaker 4: I know, I know, but I do feel I think
• 28:57
  Speaker 4: we are going to be okay. I think.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: But when I feel like we're not going to be okay,
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: I can't say anything because I'm like, I don't want
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: to make a spiral. Oh and I'm like, Laura, what fuck?
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: How often do you think this?
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: Daily?
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: He rings me and tells me every day you are.
• 29:13
  Speaker 4: The more positive person, Like I'm very realistic. I don't
• 29:17
  Speaker 4: say that. I feel like I'm more realistic about I'm like,
• 29:20
  Speaker 4: it's you know, it's like.
• 29:21
  Speaker 5: It's going to be hard for a year, it's going
• 29:23
  Speaker 5: to be or not a year.
• 29:24
  Speaker 4: Six months is going to be hard.
• 29:26
  Speaker 5: But like the girls are so excited, And when we
• 29:28
  Speaker 5: had Lola, they were so close in age that we
• 29:30
  Speaker 5: just had two babies in nappies at different ages.
• 29:33
  Speaker 4: That was really really hard. Whereas like I feel like
• 29:35
  Speaker 4: now at least the gap is going to.
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: Be good for us.
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: It'd be interesting to see what the dynamic turns into
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: with the third with the two girls, how that's going
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: to go.
• 29:42
  Speaker 4: I think Laula's gonna get really jealous.
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm prepared for.
• 29:45
  Speaker 5: Jealousy because she is still even though she is you know,
• 29:49
  Speaker 5: gives Matt some time a day these days, which is
• 29:51
  Speaker 5: more than she did six months ago. She's still very
• 29:54
  Speaker 5: much like seeks me out in every occasion, like morning's
• 29:57
  Speaker 5: first thing, it's like, where's mummy. I want mummy to
• 29:59
  Speaker 5: do this, or mummy to brush my hair. I want
• 30:00
  Speaker 5: me to brush my teeth.
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: Even at nighttime she'll say she knows that she can't
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: have you in her bed and she can't come into
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: our bed. So she'll say, Dad, come over here, I'll
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: go in to bed with her, fall asleep.
• 30:11
  Speaker 4: I shouldn't do Yeah, you shouldn't do that.
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: But then within an hour, Lola's like, you can leave.
• 30:15
  Speaker 4: She said, can you get out of my bed?
• 30:18
  Speaker 5: This morning she woke up and like Matt, Matt goes
• 30:20
  Speaker 5: in and he goes to comfortable and then he always
• 30:22
  Speaker 5: falls a sleep within five minutes.
• 30:23
  Speaker 4: Which we're trying.
• 30:24
  Speaker 5: I'm trying to sleep train Matt not to do that
• 30:26
  Speaker 5: and to come back to the bed. But anyway, this
• 30:28
  Speaker 5: morning she woke up and Dad was still in bed
• 30:29
  Speaker 5: with her, and she was like, enough, get the fuck
• 30:32
  Speaker 5: out of my bed. So there was a tangrum about
• 30:34
  Speaker 5: the fact that Matt was still in there. I think
• 30:37
  Speaker 5: we're fine. I actually think we are not prepared enough.
• 30:39
  Speaker 5: And the indication of that would be the fact that
• 30:42
  Speaker 5: the bassinette is still it still has not been assembled.
• 30:46
  Speaker 5: We don't have a car seat yet, so there's actually
• 30:48
  Speaker 5: no way of bringing the baby back from the hospital.
• 30:49
  Speaker 5: I'll do It'smaura, we have not assembled the pram.
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: You did say that you were buying the car seat.
• 30:54
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and then I remembered I was the pregnant one
• 30:56
  Speaker 5: and you're not. So I just didn't go and get it,
• 30:58
  Speaker 5: and she just full just.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: I did poke my head into the room that's meant
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: to be the nation.
• 31:02
  Speaker 4: We don't have a nursery.
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: Reformer in there.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: Looks great, so you just PLoP the baby down on
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: the reformer and the doctor tot on the foot.
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: I am I was going to shredded.
• 31:13
  Speaker 5: Maybe this is the thing like when you have three,
• 31:15
  Speaker 5: you also realize like how little preparation you actually need
• 31:19
  Speaker 5: because they're in your room for so long. So I'm like, oh,
• 31:21
  Speaker 5: we have four months to get I haven't even packed
• 31:23
  Speaker 5: a hospital bag and I'm being induced in the morning.
• 31:26
  Speaker 5: So I'm going upstairs after this to pack a hospital back.
• 31:28
  Speaker 5: Holy hell, Buster did just fart under the table and
• 31:31
  Speaker 5: it's punchy.
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: I can't wait for four After four months and we're
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: having this conversation, there's no bram.
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: I've always wondered how how nervous are you about childbirth?
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: It is absolutely horrific what women have to go through.
• 31:49
  Speaker 4: I mean, yeah, thank you, it is at times.
• 31:52
  Speaker 5: But also I am having an epidural and I did
• 31:56
  Speaker 5: speak to my obstetric I was like, because when when
• 31:59
  Speaker 5: I had it last time, they told me that I
• 32:00
  Speaker 5: had to be an establish labor in order to have
• 32:03
  Speaker 5: the epidural, which you know when you've been induced, inductions
• 32:07
  Speaker 5: can be a lot more intense with labor, and it
• 32:10
  Speaker 5: was awful. I was like, why do I have to
• 32:11
  Speaker 5: Why do I have to experience this absolute horror show
• 32:14
  Speaker 5: and then have the epidural. And I was speaking to
• 32:16
  Speaker 5: my obstetrician. He was like, oh, you can have the
• 32:19
  Speaker 5: epidural straight away if you want to this time. Now,
• 32:23
  Speaker 5: I'm going to arrive in the car park, go upstairs
• 32:25
  Speaker 5: and be like epidurol first and then break water. Speaking
• 32:30
  Speaker 5: to your sister and Kate had the same thing done,
• 32:32
  Speaker 5: so I'm not I'm actually not.
• 32:34
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 32:34
  Speaker 5: I'm not not scared of the birth part, like it
• 32:37
  Speaker 5: feels like I'm about to run a marathon. But I
• 32:40
  Speaker 5: think because I'm so uncomfortable at this point, like I
• 32:42
  Speaker 5: honestly feel like I'm a whale on land that's trying
• 32:44
  Speaker 5: to walk, that I'm.
• 32:46
  Speaker 4: Quite happy about going through the birthing part.
• 32:49
  Speaker 5: And also there's this weird sick thing that happens because
• 32:52
  Speaker 5: you have such a dope meine rush afterwards that it's
• 32:55
  Speaker 5: like it's like you want it, like it's like exciting.
• 32:58
  Speaker 5: It's like an addict have another baby.
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: How are we feeling about Poppy versus Penny.
• 33:05
  Speaker 4: Oh, I'm still I'm still team Poppy.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah you too?
• 33:09
  Speaker 4: For other reasons, Popsicle, do you like don't like Penny?
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: I got a wager with my wife and that's Poppy.
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: And if it's not, I've got to do a gym
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: class with her, and that's my start.
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: And April is very fit right now.
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: I just want to call it a different.
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: Essentially, she wants to sign me up for high Rocks
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: or whatever.
• 33:27
  Speaker 5: If I get high Rocks, my puppic Flour could never know.
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: Me neither mind either. My peby just like, who's going
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: to be in the room with.
• 33:37
  Speaker 4: Us, Alicia?
• 33:38
  Speaker 5: And you sorry, oh my gosh, you wouldn't even touch
• 33:42
  Speaker 5: my stomach, let alone look at the mountains.
• 33:46
  Speaker 4: You know, help, but you also are not a great
• 33:49
  Speaker 4: deal of help.
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: That's why I just don't look.
• 33:53
  Speaker 5: No, because Matt doesn't. He doesn't like looking down the
• 33:55
  Speaker 5: party and I wouldn't. And he also doesn't want to
• 33:57
  Speaker 5: cut the umbilical cord. And he gets that hungry very often,
• 34:00
  Speaker 5: so he has to go out for snacks.
• 34:02
  Speaker 4: He doesn't get very it's really hungry.
• 34:04
  Speaker 5: So so that's where my sister's going to be there
• 34:05
  Speaker 5: because she'll either do the sandwich.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: Run I could be a snack guy. And then often Matt.
• 34:09
  Speaker 5: Wants to film content around all the things you shouldn't
• 34:12
  Speaker 5: say in labor, so like quite often we're in the
• 34:14
  Speaker 5: labor theater still.
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: But I want to come to that one.
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: I want to go to that one.
• 34:18
  Speaker 5: That if But don't you think when you think about
• 34:21
  Speaker 5: the two berths that we've had together so far, like
• 34:23
  Speaker 5: Marley and Lola were absolute far sorry.
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: Well there was.
• 34:27
  Speaker 5: They were like chalk and cheese, Like Marley was kind
• 34:29
  Speaker 5: of really stressful, and then Lola's were so easy. We were,
• 34:32
  Speaker 5: If anything, we were trying to find things to pass
• 34:34
  Speaker 5: the time with because I had been in I had
• 34:36
  Speaker 5: the EPI durwol couldn't feel anything. I wasn't in pain,
• 34:39
  Speaker 5: and we were just like waiting for eight hours for
• 34:41
  Speaker 5: this baby to come and we're having a great time.
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: Sounds good, so more feeling of content. We're mixed. There's
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: mixed signals going on here, So I'm not invited.
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: Do you want to come?
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: I fainted in enduring an epidural, so I definitely don't
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: want to come.
• 34:58
  Speaker 4: I'm getting kicked so bad right now.
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: All right, we'll try and hurry this up.
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: Speaking of things that you shouldn't say during childbirth, I
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: thought we should do a little segment which we call
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: things you Shouldn't Say to a pregnant woman creative.
• 35:11
  Speaker 4: I love the name of it.
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: Can we start with you? I is there any that's
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: spring to mine? If this is your third pregnancy that
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: you're like this one just comes straight at me.
• 35:19
  Speaker 4: Every single day someone says to me, Wow, it's gone
• 35:22
  Speaker 4: so fast for you. I have seen you for six months.
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: Has gone quick, though, it has gone quick.
• 35:31
  Speaker 5: So you were also not here for the whole first trimester.
• 35:33
  Speaker 5: So yeah, everyone always says like, wow that this pregnancy
• 35:35
  Speaker 5: has gone fast, and it feels like it could not have.
• 35:39
  Speaker 4: Gone slot for me.
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's like especially the last week. Yeah, it's one
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: of those ones where you don't yeah, you don't know
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: that that's the wrong things because he's like, oh, just
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: time's gone fars. You're sort of going, you're sort of
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: calling out time here, not calling out like oh totally, but.
• 35:55
  Speaker 5: When it's gone, like especially the last couple of weeks
• 35:57
  Speaker 5: have gone so incredibly slow, it's just, yeah.
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: I've got one go.
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: Are you ready for your life to be over?
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: Which is also not true, God that's morbid?
• 36:14
  Speaker 4: Or are you ready to never sleep again? But also
• 36:16
  Speaker 4: not true.
• 36:17
  Speaker 5: Otherwise if it was true, people wouldn't go back for
• 36:19
  Speaker 5: a third kid, Like, we know what we've done.
• 36:21
  Speaker 4: We've done it before twice. So I don't subscribe to
• 36:24
  Speaker 4: that having.
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: Kids, No, we don't subscribe to any of this. Let's
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: just put that out there.
• 36:28
  Speaker 5: I think there's a very obvious one, which is wow,
• 36:31
  Speaker 5: you look huge, which is a real fan favorite.
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: That's a classic.
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: I've done that one.
• 36:37
  Speaker 5: I've also done I did that one to a friend
• 36:39
  Speaker 5: of mine before having kids. Myself because at the time,
• 36:42
  Speaker 5: I was in my early twenties and I just expected
• 36:44
  Speaker 5: that it was a normal thing that pregnant people should
• 36:46
  Speaker 5: be huge, and therefore it wasn't an insult to tell
• 36:49
  Speaker 5: them that they are.
• 36:49
  Speaker 4: Like, I was very wrong.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: No offense to the pregnant women out there. You are
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: fucking huge.
• 36:56
  Speaker 4: I do hope you that that gets edited out.
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: In contrast that when people say, are you sure you're
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: eating enough? It's not that big.
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they're not that big.
• 37:05
  Speaker 5: One is also weird because then you worry that there's
• 37:08
  Speaker 5: something wrong. So on the like on the converse side,
• 37:11
  Speaker 5: you know, I often get you look the same, like
• 37:16
  Speaker 5: your arms and legs are the same, you just have
• 37:18
  Speaker 5: like a belly, And then it gives me visions of
• 37:20
  Speaker 5: just like like an elderly man with a pop belly
• 37:22
  Speaker 5: likes ginning arms and legs.
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that makes me feel weird because I'm so aroused.
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: I got one here, I go on here, And this
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: one's a little bit triggering. It's kind of like someone
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: says what you can can't eat. So, for example, if
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: you're eating something and it's like, oh, you really shouldn't
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: eat that.
• 37:39
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, yeah, of a fox you get that.
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: A lot, and everyone seems to know, and it's always
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: something different, like like, oh it is that whole leg man,
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: I've been.
• 37:50
  Speaker 5: Look, I mean, we've made it this fast. I think
• 37:51
  Speaker 5: I can admit to it. I've been really lacks this pregnancy.
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: I have smoking.
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: See you're smoking out.
• 37:57
  Speaker 5: That Like my number one craving this pregnancy is been
• 38:00
  Speaker 5: ham And you're not meant to eat hair, but I've
• 38:02
  Speaker 5: eaten hand.
• 38:03
  Speaker 4: It's like a staple part of my diet. That's pregnancy.
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: Child will be half pig.
• 38:08
  Speaker 5: Also, I'm supposed to eat oysters, but anytime we've been
• 38:10
  Speaker 5: to a nice restaurant, I'm like, get a dozen, just
• 38:13
  Speaker 5: go for it.
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: But it doesn't for me.
• 38:16
  Speaker 4: But you know, you know that you're gonna get the
• 38:17
  Speaker 4: judging eyes.
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: Oh you do.
• 38:19
  Speaker 4: And I feel like with each pregnancy, I've gotten more relaxed.
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, there's another one as well, which I've
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: got here is you don't even look pregnant, which is
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: sort of like they're trying to be nice, but it's
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: kind of nice. Yeah, it's kind of nice. But then
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: it also discounts how much you've gone through up until
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: that point, because it's like, well, if I don't look
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: at I very much am fucking pregnant, and I feel like, yeah,
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: I feel it regardless.
• 38:42
  Speaker 5: Yes, I also think kids are very humbling because kids
• 38:45
  Speaker 5: don't have a they don't have the ability to hold back.
• 38:49
  Speaker 5: So Mally and Lula La have offended me many times. Yeah,
• 38:53
  Speaker 5: well not even accidentally. They just say what they're thinking
• 38:55
  Speaker 5: and it is a truth.
• 38:57
  Speaker 4: But it doesn't need to be.
• 38:58
  Speaker 5: Said, like mom, you've got a fat bar, like why
• 39:02
  Speaker 5: does your vagina look like that? And they'll be like,
• 39:04
  Speaker 5: because I'm pregnant, sweetheart, Like just get out of the shower, like,
• 39:07
  Speaker 5: get out of the bathroom.
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: Because I'm pregnant.
• 39:14
  Speaker 5: We were in the park recently and Molly was just
• 39:17
  Speaker 5: telling everyone that I have purple boobs. She was walking
• 39:21
  Speaker 5: around the park being like, my mom's.
• 39:22
  Speaker 4: Got purple boobs.
• 39:23
  Speaker 5: And what she meant is your nipples go dark during pregnancy,
• 39:26
  Speaker 5: but obviously didn't have the vocab to explain that it's.
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: That goes a different car.
• 39:33
  Speaker 5: Yeah, Areola. I was expecting you to call it aola
• 39:36
  Speaker 5: or something.
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: So Ariola was a Disney princess, but that's Ariel. Yes, yeah,
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: the confusion.
• 39:43
  Speaker 5: Yeah, so she told everyone, Yeah, my nipples are purple.
• 39:47
  Speaker 5: My boobs are purple. They're not totally perpect Actually they're
• 39:52
  Speaker 5: actually pretty purple.
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: This is the child friend. Wow, let's let's give Laura.
• 40:00
  Speaker 4: I don't think a lot of the weird pregnancy things
• 40:01
  Speaker 4: have happened.
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: She needs a break.
• 40:04
  Speaker 4: Instance, that's a big one.
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: What about when someone just asks, like a random ass,
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: if they can touch you belly? Too much?
• 40:10
  Speaker 4: Depends on who it is dragging.
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: It me.
• 40:15
  Speaker 5: I tried to make Ash touch my stomach and he
• 40:17
  Speaker 5: was so grossed out by it.
• 40:19
  Speaker 4: You, Yeah, it was. It was surprising how much it
• 40:22
  Speaker 4: upset you.
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: That's because I got c sick through through apris pregnancies.
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: No, Laura, I know you are. You've had a lot
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: on today. We've dragged into the podcast. It was meant
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: to be a quick chat. It's now become a long chat.
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: Sorry about that. You need to pack for tomorrow.
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: We haven't had one. I've got really quick.
• 40:37
  Speaker 4: In the bag the hospital bag I.
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: Saw I saw the other day in your story you
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: looked very uncomfortable and very tired.
• 40:43
  Speaker 4: What they doing?
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: Oh?
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: You were just you were just ready for the baby
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: to come out. That's what what.
• 40:47
  Speaker 5: Story was it? Because I might have reminded the time,
• 40:50
  Speaker 5: so now I.
• 40:51
  Speaker 4: Was rending me.
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: I responded to it and said, I hope you're feeling okay, mate,
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: blah blah blah, left on Red. You left me on
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know, but can.
• 41:01
  Speaker 4: You get your phone because I want to notice whether
• 41:04
  Speaker 4: damn it.
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: But it says I hope you're feeling okay, mate, thinking
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: of you or something like that, and you fucking left me.
• 41:11
  Speaker 4: On scene pregnant, also also pregnant.
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: I was exhausted.
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: Producer has followed you for a while, no follow back
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: on social media?
• 41:20
  Speaker 4: Sorry, Jess.
• 41:21
  Speaker 5: Also, do you know what? I don't use social media
• 41:23
  Speaker 5: apart from for work. It's true.
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, now I've heard it all. Laura, thank
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: you for jumping on. If you've enjoyed this episode, please
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: we would love it if you shared it with a friend.
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: Tell your mom, tell your kids, tell you.
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: I thought you were telling Laura that dad.
• 41:39
  Speaker 4: Tell your dog. Tear friends, and share the love because.
• 41:44
  Speaker 5: Tomorrow morning, just so you guys do know the timetable,
• 41:47
  Speaker 5: we wake up, I call the hospital at six am, yep.
• 41:51
  Speaker 4: And then we take Alla to daycare or Kate.
• 41:54
  Speaker 5: Takes all the dayk we drop Molly at school, and
• 41:56
  Speaker 5: we go straight to the hospital. So we're there from
• 41:59
  Speaker 5: eight thirty am tomorrow check on.
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: It's like checking in, and when Aprin had her last
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: section was planned, it was like checking into our hotel.
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: I'm nervous, are you? Yeah?
• 42:07
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: I don't know, because it's a fucking big deal.
• 42:10
  Speaker 4: How do you feel about going to number three?
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: I mean we're just about to wrap the podcast.
• 42:14
  Speaker 4: Sorry, but I feel like you're actually being honest about
• 42:16
  Speaker 4: it for once.
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: I'm myself. I'm nervous, but I'm excited. I'm just I
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: don't know what we're going to get this baby obviously
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: a child as a child to explain, it's going to
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: be an easy child, a hard child. I mean, what's
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: it going to do for us?
• 42:36
  Speaker 4: Probably nothing. It's a baby.
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: What do you want this sentence?
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: I'm so excited. I just I just give in to
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: us or for I just think if we get a
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: tricky baby, it's going to be months of hell, and
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm ready for that.
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: Sucked in.
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: Okay. If you have enjoyed this episode, please share it
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: with someone who you think might enjoy.
• 43:00
  Speaker 4: I think everyone's just confused.
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: If you would like to follow us on social media,
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: you can do that Instagram, TikTok, Facebook and now YouTube
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: full episodes you giving me the y m.
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: C A dance.
• 43:12
  Speaker 4: Impressed by you guys now with YouTube and all.
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we're just following in your footsteps.
• 43:18
  Speaker 5: And this camera set up is elite, just compliments.
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: I think that's it. I think that's everything.
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: All right, We'll best of for me to you, best
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: of luck to both of you. Tomorrow I will be
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: thinking I won't message you, but.
• 43:30
  Speaker 4: I will write back to you.
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: I'm excited and I'm excited. People has been he has
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: been very I'm just I'm just I'm nervous for you.
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: I'm like, holy ship, this is a big deal.
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: It's a lot of mixed emotions. Let's go with mixed emotions.
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: But he has been very excited for the last six months.
• 43:49
  Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, I get it. I get it.
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: Thank God.
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: All right, good bye. We got there.
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: As a parent, ash and I'm sure you can appreciate this.
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: Maybe the listeners aren't unaware, but.
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: I was just getting the brief backup. Sorry, sorry, I
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: was getting the brief back up.
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: I don't want to have to hear you.
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: I would almost welcome it. I need to feel something
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: to Doting Dads.
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: the connections to land, see and community.
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Island,
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: the People's Today. This episode was recorded on Gaddigle Land.