Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / New Year's Resolutions

Transcript

New Year's Resolutions · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Hello, Welcome to the Happy Families Podcast. Today it's our
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: first New Year's edition of I'll Do Better Tomorrow for
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: those of you who might be new to the pod.
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  Speaker 1: On Friday, each week we review the week that was,
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  Speaker 1: or in this case, the last few weeks that were,
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  Speaker 1: and have a look at what's working and what's not
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  Speaker 1: and how we can do better tomorrow. Why because we
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  Speaker 1: think as we're transparent about what we're doing in our family,
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  Speaker 1: it will help you to make your family life better
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: as well. Today Christmas success or failure, we did a
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  Speaker 1: few new things. Did it work or not? Plus New
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: Year's resolutions, we've got to talk about them and how
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: they're playing out for us so far. Stay with us.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: All of that and more is next. Hello and welcome
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  Speaker 1: to the Happy Families podcast, where you get real parenting
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: solutions every single day. This is austraightest, most downloaded parenting podcast.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: We're really proud and grateful for that. Thanks so much
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: for listening. My name's Docs justin course. I'm here with Kylie,
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: mum to our six kids, my wife of Oh my goodness,
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: we're coming up to twenty eight years in a few weeks,
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: and it's older but it's Moorrow, Kylie. You're running this
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  Speaker 1: one because there's been a lot going on the last
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  Speaker 1: few weeks. And while we've been doing our best to
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  Speaker 1: work with the family across summer, I've also been working
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  Speaker 1: in the office a lot because there's this book about
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  Speaker 1: boys that's coming out in a few months time, and
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  Speaker 1: I'm putting the finishing touches on the finishing touches. The
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  Speaker 1: final manuscript is oh so close, so close. I'm so excited,
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  Speaker 1: so older bet it tomorrow. Christmas failure or success.
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  Speaker 2: I am going to say we nailed it this year,
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  Speaker 2: and I wish.
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  Speaker 1: Witch lave.
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  Speaker 2: Then I hate me twenty five years to learn these things.
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  Speaker 2: So I'm going to share a few tips with you.
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  Speaker 1: We had such a great Christmas this year, didn't we.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was good in all the right ways. It
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  Speaker 2: was just such a beautiful day, and I think there
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  Speaker 2: were some really key factors that make the difference. So
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  Speaker 2: we have three adult children working in a shoe store
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  Speaker 2: at the moment, and I had this genius idea to
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  Speaker 2: ask them to start bringing home shoe boxes. And I
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  Speaker 2: decided to wrap all of the kid's presence into shoe boxes.
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  Speaker 2: So it meant that sometimes multiple presents went into one box.
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  Speaker 2: But it also meant that come time to opening presents,
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  Speaker 2: everyone opened the same amount of presents. That was the
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  Speaker 2: first thing. The second thing was it made rapping so easy.
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  Speaker 2: Who does not love a box with square edges, clean,
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  Speaker 2: easy to wrap made such a difference and I actually
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  Speaker 2: went through less wrapping paper as a result. But lastly
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  Speaker 2: I coded the wrapping.
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  Speaker 1: That was so cool. The kids are looking at the
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  Speaker 1: boxes like which one's mine, which one's mine?
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  Speaker 2: Well, I said, I coded it, but I didn't put
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  Speaker 2: any tags. There was no tags, so there was just
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  Speaker 2: these beautifully wrapped presents, all boxes underneath the tree, and
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  Speaker 2: they had no idea who was who's until the day
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  Speaker 2: and we actually had some fun with it. I got
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  Speaker 2: everyone to pick a different wrapping paper from underneath the
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  Speaker 2: tree on Christmas Day, they each got to unwrap it
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  Speaker 2: and then work out who's president was, and that's how
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  Speaker 2: they determined what gift wrapped they got. Yeah, it was
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  Speaker 2: just a lot of fun.
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  Speaker 1: Can I jump in really quickly and highlight Generally I
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  Speaker 1: kind of get overlooked at Christmas, and I'm pretty relaxed
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  Speaker 1: about that, like I don't need much and just seeing
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  Speaker 1: everyone experience the joy and giving is my favorite way
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  Speaker 1: to celebrate Christmas. But this year, for the first time,
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  Speaker 1: over the kids, there have been sporadic moments here and there,
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  Speaker 1: but for the first time ever, all of the kids
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  Speaker 1: really really thought hard about spoiling me and I had
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  Speaker 1: the best Christmas ever as well, Like they were really thoughtful,
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  Speaker 1: and as I opened the combined gift that they all
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  Speaker 1: chipped in for, I just sat there and I was like,
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  Speaker 1: I'm actually speechless, Like this is just so good.
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  Speaker 2: And what was crazy is one of the it's actually
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  Speaker 2: spilled the beans a few weeks before Christmas.
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  Speaker 1: I totally forgot that you.
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  Speaker 2: Number one, totally forgot. But I actually think part of
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  Speaker 2: it was because you thought there was no way, no
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  Speaker 2: way they would do anything like that.
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  Speaker 1: And let's just say everybody's happy with the gift. Because
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  Speaker 1: the pizza that we booked.
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  Speaker 2: In that gift we call was delicious.
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  Speaker 1: Was pretty hard to be so anyway, I think it
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  Speaker 1: was a massive win. Just such a delightful, delightful opportunity
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  Speaker 1: to sit down and celebrate and be with the family.
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  Speaker 1: I loved it. We also did something a little bit
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  Speaker 1: different so our particular church, we don't have Christmas Day services,
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  Speaker 1: and I've always felt like that's a bit of a miss.
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  Speaker 1: I feel like we should be going to a Christmas
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  Speaker 1: Day service to celebrate the most important day on the
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  Speaker 1: Christian calendar. So we went to another church with some friends,
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  Speaker 1: and I just felt so great to have that moment
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  Speaker 1: and our kids really like I was expecting resistance and pushback,
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  Speaker 1: and there was a little bit, but then they all
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  Speaker 1: were like, now that was really good. We're so glad
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  Speaker 1: we did that. So that was another just another nice touched,
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  Speaker 1: another nice element that made the day really nice.
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  Speaker 2: And I think the other thing that really stood out
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  Speaker 2: to me about the day was we actually kept the
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  Speaker 2: food really simple. We had delicious meals, but we just
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  Speaker 2: kept it really simple, so I didn't spend lots of
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  Speaker 2: time in the kitchen and I got to be a
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  Speaker 2: part of the family experience. We just focused on time together.
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  Speaker 2: We got into the pool, we had a volleyball net
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  Speaker 2: setup and we just played this big ball game together,
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  Speaker 2: which we haven't done because we've had lots of little
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  Speaker 2: kids for so long. So it was really it was
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  Speaker 2: just a beautiful day. By the end of it, I
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  Speaker 2: wasn't exhausted, I wasn't frazzled. I was actually just filled
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  Speaker 2: was so much gratitude for the beautiful family that we've
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  Speaker 2: created together and for the joy that we were able
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  Speaker 2: to experience. And as I sat there and I reflected
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  Speaker 2: on just the joy on their faces as they're open
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  Speaker 2: to their presence. It's really easy to kind of, I guess,
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  Speaker 2: get caught up in the materialism of Christmas. But in
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  Speaker 2: those moments, what I actually was really grateful for as
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  Speaker 2: I reflected on who give the best gifts, it's the
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  Speaker 2: people that know us the best. Yeah, they know us
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  Speaker 2: so well that they know exactly what we need, even
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  Speaker 2: when we sometimes can't articulate what we need or what
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  Speaker 2: we hope for or what we want. And I feel
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  Speaker 2: like it was a little bit of a pat on
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  Speaker 2: the back for you and I in recognition that the
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  Speaker 2: effort that we've been putting in to build the foundation
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  Speaker 2: of strong, loving relationships with our kids all kind of
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  Speaker 2: came together in this beautiful bubble of goodness as each
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  Speaker 2: kid just delighted in the things that were under the
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  Speaker 2: Christmas tree for.
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  Speaker 1: Them this year year one hundred percent, So that's a
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  Speaker 1: big win. And hopefully those hints and ideas will be
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  Speaker 1: useful for next Christmas. Make some notes come back to
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  Speaker 1: this podcast episode in November twenty twenty six.
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  Speaker 2: I do have to acknowledge a special mention to Santa.
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  Speaker 2: I don't know where he found these mangoes, but these
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  Speaker 2: mangoes were so big they were like in themselves.
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  Speaker 1: We have a tradition that there's mango stuffed in every
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  Speaker 1: child's stocking.
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  Speaker 2: Which started when we were poor students who couldn't afford
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  Speaker 2: to fill this kid's stockings. So I thought, if I
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  Speaker 2: stick a mango in there, that'll take up the whole toe.
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  Speaker 1: It'll clog the thing up, right. And now these mangoes
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  Speaker 1: did not fit in the stock.
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  Speaker 2: They did not.
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  Speaker 1: They were literally as big as you had. Anyway, after
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  Speaker 1: the break our New Year's resolutions, we're going for a
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  Speaker 1: two for one here. We think that some ideas with
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  Speaker 1: our New Year's resolutions will also be helpful for you
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  Speaker 1: as you kick off twenty twenty six. Stay with us,
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  Speaker 1: We're back. This is the Happy Families Podcast. Kylie. We've
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  Speaker 1: won when it comes to Christmas, just gone the best
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  Speaker 1: one we've ever had. It's taken us a long time
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  Speaker 1: to get there. Now it's time to talk about our
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  Speaker 1: new Year's resolutions, because I think we're nailing it's the
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  Speaker 1: years of getting it wrong and then years of not
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  Speaker 1: doing it all because we kept getting it wrong. We're
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  Speaker 1: getting it really, really right. So just some context here.
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  Speaker 1: Years and years and years ago, I was doing business
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  Speaker 1: meetings every quarter, quarterly goals, what's your vision, all that
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  Speaker 1: sort of stuff. And then I realized that if I
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  Speaker 1: was doing that for my business, my family was way
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  Speaker 1: more important. Why are we not doing that as a family.
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  Speaker 1: So you and I started going away. Sometimes it was tricky,
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  Speaker 1: babysitting was a bit of a challenge, but we started
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  Speaker 1: going away every quarter to spend two nights talking about
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  Speaker 1: the stuff that matters for our family and for our
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  Speaker 1: finances and our spiritual lives and our physical health and
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  Speaker 1: our children and all that sort of stuff. It got
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  Speaker 1: too hard with the kids, and we didn't do it
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  Speaker 1: for a few years.
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  Speaker 2: Well, I think too. Sometimes you don't recognize just how
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  Speaker 2: much goodness comes from something.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, can we que let it slide? Yeah yeah, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: we're doing fine now, we don't need that. We're fine.
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  Speaker 1: But we did it again in December for the New Year,
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  Speaker 1: the new quarter, and we set some really big goals
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  Speaker 1: for this year in all the dome ino our lives,
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  Speaker 1: whether it's financial or spiritual or physical health, or time
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  Speaker 1: with the kids and the way we support them, or
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  Speaker 1: our relationship with one another. Like we went through everything
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  Speaker 1: and the business we spent keeps time on that, and
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  Speaker 1: like you said, it feels like having done that has
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  Speaker 1: given us the recalibration that we need.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, when I think about the last few years, since
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  Speaker 2: Emily came home from school and we started homeschooling. If
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  Speaker 2: I'm being completely honest, the last few years, I feel
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  Speaker 2: like I've been in a bit of a brain fog
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  Speaker 2: and I have really I feel like I've been in
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  Speaker 2: survival mode. It's been really hard to find motivation to
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  Speaker 2: be intentional about how I use my time, and I've
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  Speaker 2: just been really kind of floundering. And so having that
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  Speaker 2: time with you before Christmas to recalibrate, to actually get
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  Speaker 2: on the same page together. Because while we talk often
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  Speaker 2: about the things that we want without setting intentional expectations
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  Speaker 2: around how we will achieve what we're going to achieve,
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  Speaker 2: it's kind of that cliche, you know, goals that aren't
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  Speaker 2: written down are just dreams, hopes that just wishes, They
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  Speaker 2: just they don't become anything, and it's given us the
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  Speaker 2: clarity that we've needed to step into twenty twenty six
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  Speaker 2: with intention and purpose.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, so what do you want to say about the goals?
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  Speaker 1: Do you want to do some bragging here or what.
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  Speaker 2: I kind of do? Because this is a really big deal.
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  Speaker 2: Let's do this is a really big deal. On New
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  Speaker 2: Year's Day, I went through all of the cuppets, including
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  Speaker 2: oh my hidden stash in my wardrobe, cuppets that I
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  Speaker 2: didn't even nobody knew about, including all of my New
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  Speaker 2: Zealand chocolate that we brought on our recent holiday, and
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  Speaker 2: lollies that are literally like childhood favorites that we brought
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  Speaker 2: while we were overseas, and I packed them all up
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  Speaker 2: and I gave them away. That was a really big
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  Speaker 2: deal for me.
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  Speaker 1: I feel like we need a massive out of a
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  Speaker 1: court right now.
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  Speaker 2: That was a really, really big deal. But I feel
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  Speaker 2: like it was a huge win because for the first
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  Speaker 2: time I was open to doing it. And can I
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  Speaker 2: just say this is the big clap. We're almost three
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  Speaker 2: weeks in and I have not eaten any process sugar.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah. So that's the thing is no more process sugar,
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  Speaker 1: full stop, and a story.
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  Speaker 2: And the goal around that is we're not purchasing it
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  Speaker 2: and if it's given to us, we'll regift it, and
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  Speaker 2: it's just not allowed to be in the house. We're
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  Speaker 2: just not doing it.
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  Speaker 1: It's a massive win. And we started exercising like we've
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: got a routine. Gosh, I'm saying we've got a routine.
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  Speaker 1: But for the last week I've been traveling Southeast Queensland
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: doing professional development in schools all over the place because
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  Speaker 1: at the start of the year and this is.
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  Speaker 2: You're still kind of sticking with a plan even though
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  Speaker 2: it's not the plan. We're just we're trying to move
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: our bodies every day.
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  Speaker 1: But I'm back on the bike like I'm riding except
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  Speaker 1: for this week and next week. I'm running three hundred
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  Speaker 1: k's a week, two hundred and fifty three hundred k's
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  Speaker 1: a week again, and we're doing calisthenics. So it's not
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  Speaker 1: like we're spending a mots are on lifting weights or
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: anything that's body weight exercises. But we've got somebody who's
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  Speaker 1: given us some really good guidance around this, and we're
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  Speaker 1: feeling the word that I would use is we've set
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  Speaker 1: these goals. We're implementing it. We're eating well, we're moving
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  Speaker 1: our bodies, and we're feeling vital, and it just it
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  Speaker 1: helps around the house, it helps with the kids. We've
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  Speaker 1: got energy that we haven't had for so long.
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  Speaker 2: And here's the crazy thing. I don't feel like we're
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: being fanatical about things like there's no.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: Calorie It doesn't sound fanatical at all.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: There's no calorie counting going on with eliminated process sugars.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: I mean, that's an important part, right, But we're also
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  Speaker 2: just limiting our carb intake. It's not like we've kind
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: of gone cold turkey. We're enjoying an abundant variety of
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: fruits and vegetables. We're kind of living in that whole
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: food aisle instead of living in the processed aisle at
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: the shops. But I think the other thing that's really
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: important for me, I don't know if it works so
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: much for you, if it's I don't know if it's
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: a girl thing or not. But having that opportunity to
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: just daily reflect and affirm the goals that we've set
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: and our intention and then tracking my progress is making
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  Speaker 2: such a difference. Because it's so easy to get distracted.
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  Speaker 2: It's so easy to get discouraged and to be honest.
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  Speaker 2: In Week one, there was a moment where I literally
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: kind of almost fell off the band. It was so close,
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: and then I just remembered what I'm doing and why
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  Speaker 2: I'm doing it. The reality is I want to feel strong,
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: I want to feel capable, and I want to be
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: able to enjoy life with my grand baby.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: You want to be able to lift up our granddaughter.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: I wasting to say that.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, in twenty years, I still want to be able
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: to have fun with them.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: So we need to wrap this up. The take home
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: message first off, when it comes to Christmas, less is more.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: And coded wrapping tape is the most fun, so much fun.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: And obviously there's a bunch of other things that we
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: talked about, but less is more would be how I
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: would summarize that and just focused on time and being
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: really thoughtful about the people that you love and what
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: would light them up. And the take home message from
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: this second part is people are really down on goals,
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: but goals work. But goals work best when you turn
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: them into a lifestyle, into a habit, into a rhythm
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: or a routine, into a pattern. You make the big call,
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: but then you do the work daily. You don't say, oh,
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do this triathlon in March, or I'm
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: going to run a marathon in November. Instead you say
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: I'm going to become a runner because that's what I
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: want to do, or I'm going to become a callousthenics, gym,
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: whatever's workout person because I value strength and vitality. And
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: making that shift is it's changing the game for us,
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: making a really big difference. There are take home messages,
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: have a great weekend. We need to wrap it up there.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: Our time is done. Will be back. We won't be
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: back on Monday. It's Australia Day. Happy Australia Day, everybody
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: for the twenty sixth. We're back instead on the twenty seventh,
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: talking about creating a great relationship with your child's teacher
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: based on a question we've had from a mum who's
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: wanting to get twenty twenty six off to a great start.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: At Plus, we're talking about why we're homeschool on Wednesday
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: next week as well. Lots of cool content coming up
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: on the pod that The Happy Families podcast is produced by
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: Justin Ruland from Bridge Media. Mimhammon's provides research admin and
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: all of our other support. And if you would like
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: more support yourself to make your family happier, you can
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: find it at happy families dot com dot au