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Mantalk133: Relationship Mayhem! · Military Broadcast Radio | MBR Talk

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Welcome to Man Talk 133 with Charles and Darl, the movement
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Are you ready to be part of the coalition?
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Let's dive in. Welcome to Man Talk 133 with
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Y'all and Daryl. Welcome everybody to the show.
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We appreciate Y'all tuning in yet again.
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That's right. That's right.
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What's up with you dog? How you doing man?
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Ain't nothing, man. What's going on with your
2:21
brother? How you feeling ain't?
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Nothing to it, dog. You know what?
2:25
You know, dog, We've been in this thing for a long time
2:27
before I've been. Yeah, Yeah.
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How have you About to be 26. You know, you and yo, you've
2:36
been doing it for a long time. Yeah, I'm in there, boy.
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Yeah, dog. So so tonight dog, we're going
2:42
to talk about relationship mayhem.
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Ain't necessarily mayhem like all that ain't bad.
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I'm just, I'm just, I use it as a the thing for, you know.
2:54
Mayhem. When you said mayhem, they be
2:56
like huh, huh. Yeah, that's the shock factor.
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Oh, what they talking about. So let me so you know, it's two
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parts. The relationship man.
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You got the you got the, you got the unhealthy relationship
3:08
habits and then you got the healthy relationship habits,
3:12
right. Naturally, you know, we got to
3:14
start with the unhealthy dog. We got to go ahead and 2025, the
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US divorce rate is estimated to be around 2.5 divorces per 1000
3:29
people. This represents A decline from
3:33
the peak in the 1980s and continuing downward trend while
3:38
overall lower. While the overall rate is lower,
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it's important to note that the factors like age at first
3:48
marriage, education level, and economic conditions can
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significantly impact individual divorce risk.
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Now forget all that. What you think?
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Give me, give me. Give me something, darling,
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Give. Me something.
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Scrap all that. Yeah, scrap all that I did to
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give him some context with Scrap all that.
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Tell him what you think the reason why for the the reason
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why divorces are carried. Well, you know, first of all,
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their first one, you know, they got the hair of God first.
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Yeah, that's the first one. Yeah.
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Then then you can go down here with the snowball effect, you
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know, a today's time, man. It's just like, yeah, you know,
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the women got to put them out there.
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You know, they don't really, a lot of them don't really respect
4:43
their husbands no more like they used to.
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Or. Or men, you know, or their
4:48
boyfriends, you know, or significantly they trying to get
4:51
married or whatever. And it's is it, you know, to me
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is that it's my opinion. Is that an all time high?
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You know, you can see it online and you know, all of this, you
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know, everything that's going on.
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That's what you know. For starters, I would say that,
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you know, a lot of you know, like they don't respect them no
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more like they used to. You and you know what that's
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that's a a good one, the beyond that's a real good one.
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And I think that may be on my list.
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But when we talk about, you know, people that have been in
5:20
their marriages or relationships or whatever, don't take old
5:24
relationship habits into a new one because you doomed to fail.
5:30
Like you can't take old buddy that you with now might not be
5:35
able to take what old the other old buddy duck.
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You know, he may not be or the first one may not been able to
5:45
take it and now you still want to drag this fighting
5:49
relationship thing into this, this this new or fussing or
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whatever not I mean it it it may not even be fussing.
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Just maybe like, you know, you may just have some things that
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he just don't like. You know what I'm saying?
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He just ain't did. He can't deal.
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He can't deal with it. Right.
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Yeah, man. To the new guy.
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Yeah, you know, and then sometime, man, you can meet that
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one, that second one. You know the second one can be
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better than. Yeah, yeah, A.
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Lot of times, a lot of times, they do work out like that.
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Yeah, well you know why, you know why I think, I think
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because you didn't been through, you may be older and then you
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may be even went through, you know the ups and downs.
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So now you know what to look out for, you know, like you've been
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in them, land them, them line with minefields, you know where
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to step. So that's probably what it is,
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you know? And then sometimes you can have
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one like sometimes you can have one like, you know, you can use
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men or women. But since we're using men with
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the women, you can a man, they can have, they can have the the
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1st girl can be a rah rah. Girl.
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You know what I mean. The second one might be a mellow
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laid back. Right, you know, right, that's
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that's true. You know that that's willing to
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compromise with you, you know what I'm saying?
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Yeah, and you know, so just so y'all could be clear, we talking
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about relationship mayhem. Not necessarily mayhem, but you
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know that the do's and don'ts, stuff you ain't supposed to do
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in a relationship and stuff you supposed to do, not do and and
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do. These are the don't do.
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The don't do don't create an atmosphere of mistrust.
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Don't be rolling out 10:00 at night down by you going to do
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some Hey, I got the I just got this craving.
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I just got this craving for some ice cream.
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They closed at 10:15. What restaurant?
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You know, closed at 10 15. That's that's an atmosphere for
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mistrust because any the man or woman going to be like, what'd
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you say? Right.
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I, I, I ride with you now. I mean, you know what I mean.
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Now that's when the flag going to be thrown on the plate like
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when they say yo, I'm gonna ride with you like Nah, you know I'm
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good. Yeah, yeah, that's when they
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going to throw that flag out. They're.
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Going to be like hold on bro. Wait, what?
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I can't ride with you? Nah 'cause I just need some me
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time. You know, we got into a little
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hog of me. I just, I just need to go to the
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store 'cause I need some me time.
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You know what I'm saying? I mean, if I keep standing here
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talking, you know the store going to close.
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I got to, I got to go ahead and get this.
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I'll be back. I'll be back.
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You ain't got no clothes on. I'll be right back.
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Right, right. And when then you can have that
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one too that like you said, you know, you know, like I said,
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they throw the flag on the plate.
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Like you got that one, you might have one like some guys, you
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know that I know they got one that wherever they go, they
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going. 100% I don't care what time.
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Even even if, even if they sitting in the car, they they
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may or may not get out the car. I'm like like what's what's
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going on, Doc? You know everything good, You
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know you good. Yeah, yeah.
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And. You know, yeah, you know, my
9:00
man, you know, I'm just going to stop by for a couple minutes.
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OK, well who in the car that the car still running?
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Yes, she had a couple, $1,000,000, you know.
9:10
Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely no cats like that.
9:16
Yeah, Doc, have you ever seen somebody dog?
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They just, they know everything. This is, this is this is.
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I call them Mike. Doc, man, I know everything.
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That's what Mike stand for. They know.
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They know it all. So they got the confidence.
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Don't be over the top confident. You know everything.
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She asked. Oh, yeah, yeah.
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You know I hate you now. You did a year and a half in the
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military 'cause you couldn't cut it.
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And now you've been there, done everything, ain't lying.
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You know why? You know I you know, I know how
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to do all that. You know you ain't got to get
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nobody to do the floors. I I did them in the military.
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What floors you do in the military?
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I'm just. Kidding and man like like you
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said another thing too, man with that that relationship stuff,
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man like a lot of women hate to hear that when when they are
10:07
told that the man is the head. Yeah.
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True that see, they don't they don't like that see you know,
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and they don't like other women when other women tell them that
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they are submissive to their husband, right, That submissive
10:20
thing to them make it sound like that the husband is like like,
10:24
you know, I rule you get in there and fix me some hot grits
10:28
or something. When I say jump but.
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It ain't, but yeah, but it ain't like that, you know what I'm
10:34
saying? Hey, dog, what they say dog only
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time I wanted to hear from you it when I asked yeah, that ain't
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that ain't submissive. That's controlling right there.
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What they what they see what they got on they plate if they
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got somebody like what you just said.
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Yeah, that's controlling. That's domineering, bro, like
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you just on another level. Just you know what I'm saying.
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But hey, another thing that when you when you when you when this
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is don't in in relationship that when you get ready to go to your
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you know, you go on your first day, dog, don't go smell like
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fly spray Dog, don't put so much Cologne on.
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Can't nobody breathe in the car, right.
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You sitting there like yo, what how would you put on you like
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you know the old school cats, they do that.
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They have Cologne on there. You know my motto, I always said
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2 will do. 2 Will dog go and do that?
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I'm trying to tell you that. Two sprays will do two hits.
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And I got to hit this one, though.
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I got to hit this one. What you got?
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What we got? Don't be cheap, Doc.
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You you common sense. I ain't say you got to go to
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Sullivan's. I ain't say you got to go to the
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Cheesecake. I ain't say you got to go to
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Ruth Chris. I ain't say you got to go to
11:44
Fleming's or nothing like that. But what I am saying don't,
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don't, don't, don't do don't do the McDonald's thing, dog like
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that. First date.
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Yeah, this is. We're going to just go get it
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and go sit in the car and we're going to face the lake and we're
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going to eat the McDonald's. That ain't gonna work.
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It's not. So what you said what?
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So what, how would you think, how you know, like most cats
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that if I've been cattlemen that that talk about this thing right
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here that we talking about. How do you, what do you, what do
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you think when guys be like, well, I'm not taking her to an
12:19
expensive restaurant on the first date.
12:22
Maybe a coffee date or whatever you want to call it, like a
12:28
little, you know, get a little coffee or something like that on
12:30
a little meet and greet. But in, in turn, the females may
12:34
not want to do that. They were like, Nah, I ain't
12:37
going on no coffee date or ice cream and whatever.
12:39
But that's part of the meet and greet.
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Cause see what's happening is a lot of these guys now they like,
12:46
yo, they hip to the game. They like, yo, we taking these
12:49
females out to these fast food, not, not fast food on these
12:53
these dates, these big expensive dates and then they don't hear
12:57
from them again. Yeah, they get in their belly
13:00
for it and they take off. So my, my suggestion would be if
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if she's, if you say, hey, you know, just meet up or whatever,
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blah, blah, blah. She says, man, I ain't going to
13:11
get no coffee or no, I ain't going nowhere other than blah,
13:15
blah, blah. Then you'd be like, well, this
13:17
ain't the one. Yeah, you already knew it was a
13:19
red flag. You got to, you got to keep it
13:21
pushing y'all. I don't mean no harm.
13:23
I know she might look real nice and might be nice and sweet, but
13:27
if you can't, you know, if you, you got to use common sense.
13:32
You can't go drop 150 on the first date.
13:36
All she going to do is post it on Instagram and then say you
13:39
know what girl, I got him. And that's what I tell a lot of
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guys, man, you know, that, you know, guys that, you know,
13:44
might, I might encounter, you know, they talk about stuff like
13:47
that. You know, we know we broadcast
13:49
it or whatever. But yeah, that's what it is,
13:52
man. Like, you know, you talking
13:54
about these these females now they want $200, no first dates
13:58
and all that. Hey, I'm just meeting you like,
14:01
you know, we can't get together, you know, break the ice.
14:04
No little, you know, outing like you say, you know they don't do
14:07
that no more they. Don't hit the yeah, can't hit
14:10
them in with something. Go ahead.
14:13
No, don't do it, dog. Yeah, you, you definitely hit
14:22
them with that one. Yeah.
14:26
Oh yeah, do not be I'm just saying do not be ignorant, dog.
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Just honestly, you you could pick a you could pick a really
14:33
nice mid great restaurant and then, you know, you can go from
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there. You ain't got to, you ain't got
14:40
to be, you know, trying to floss and you know, and all this stuff
14:43
on the first date because it's because sometimes when you
14:47
started like that, it's going to be expected all the time, Doc.
14:53
So when we come back out of this break, Doc, we're going to talk
14:56
about relationship killers, Doc. And we'll go from there, Doc.
17:55
Military broadcast radio, the station that's giving veterans a
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voice. Find us on the web at MB Radio
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dot. Opinions expressed in this
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programme are those of the speakers and do not necessarily
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reflect the views or positions of any entities they represent.
18:15
Come back to man talk. Yes, Sir, with Joel and Darren.
18:20
Yes, Sir. You left me on the break.
18:23
What's going on cuz what's your laughing about bro?
18:26
You know what we talking about doing text on the break.
18:28
Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:30
Most definitely, Most definitely, yo.
18:33
So that's yo, that's how, that's how we doing.
18:38
Relationship killers are behaviors, attitudes, or
18:43
external factors that could damage or destroy a
18:45
relationship. This can include communication
18:48
problems, lack of intimacy, and toxic behaviors like criticism,
18:53
defensiveness, and contempt. Other factors can include
18:56
stress, family issues, and the impact of technology.
19:01
Here's a more detailed look at some of the coming relationship
19:07
killers dot criticism. What criticism dog?
19:12
This involves attacking your partner partner's character or
19:16
personality rather than addressing a specific behavior
19:21
that's coming in. I I think that's like across the
19:24
board in all marriages, dog or all relationships.
19:27
I got some on my mic on all relationships.
19:30
I think across the board, everybody do it.
19:34
I think you say that disrespect. I think that's what you wouldn't
19:37
want. The ones you said before that
19:40
disrespect let. Me.
19:42
See. Yeah, defensiveness.
19:44
And it may have been disrespect Doc.
19:47
The reason why I say this, well, I'm going to use disrespect
19:50
because, you know, I've known some people, you know that their
19:56
significant other or their wife or whatever, it's like when
19:59
they're trying to communicate, they don't communicate with
20:07
their their spouse, don't communicate with them, but
20:12
everybody else around them. They got a lot to say and talk
20:16
about, you know what I mean? So it's like you they're they're
20:23
trying to talk to their spouse, but their spouse don't want to,
20:26
you know, like, yeah, OK, whatever.
20:28
But when they see someone's over here, so and so and so over
20:30
there, always like, you know, they had a party, you know, it's
20:33
it's, you know, it's party central.
20:35
We got so much to talk about, girl, you know, I ain't seen you
20:39
didn't know this that or whatever.
20:40
But when it's time for spouse conversation, it's like, get out
20:43
of here. Yeah, I ain't got time with
20:45
that. So there's a disrespectful part
20:47
of, you know, like that, that I put in there like that, that I,
20:49
you know, that I've heard about, you know, pros, whatever.
20:52
Yeah. Yeah.
20:53
What do Well, that that could be a, you know, a kind of a issue
20:58
where I personally, to me personally, I think that, you
21:03
know, that's a that's a issue that he need to kind of address
21:06
'cause if you being disrespected at the crib, right?
21:11
And then you see her out talking to family, friends, like even
21:15
the dude at the store. Yeah, I'm gonna go.
21:18
You come with that. She having a conversation with
21:20
my baby at the counter, Bro, can't you add one with you?
21:24
We got an issue. You be like what the.
21:27
Yeah, like. What are you going to even say?
21:29
That hold on, bro. Like wait, wait, wait, wait,
21:32
wait, dawg, hold on. We rolled 20 minutes of it.
21:37
You ain't say one word. Now we're in the store.
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That's the ultimate sign of disrespect.
21:42
Now you need to start checking some stuff out for real.
21:45
And then you got defensiveness. Instead of taking a
21:48
responsibility of your actions, you deflect blame and make
21:52
excuses. But I'm gonna tell you some
21:55
right now. Hey, I I hadn't done that, dawg.
21:58
I'm just I'm just like, yo, you know, you raised your voice like
22:03
a little octave dog. You grew up with the beach and
22:06
you'd be like, and you don't want to take responsibility with
22:08
it. Was you you the one dog on?
22:11
Right. And then, yeah.
22:16
And then like you said too, that likes, I think you had that
22:18
technology in there. Yeah.
22:20
Like deal breaker, whatever, like your technology, like, you
22:23
know, you trying to talk, especially if like if you out,
22:26
you know, if you taking somebody out, you trying to talk and they
22:30
on their phone, you know, texting everybody and their Mama
22:34
or whatever and you know, you trying to talk to them.
22:36
And you know what I'm saying? So yeah, I've, I've heard
22:39
people, you know, talk about that type of encounter too.
22:42
You know what? This is the one you must have
22:44
been talking about. Contempt.
22:45
This include it involves expressing disrespect and
22:50
disgust toward your partner, often through sarcasm or
22:54
sneering. Like right, that's the one
22:58
you're talking about though. They go, they don't want to say
23:01
nothing to you for a 30 minute ride.
23:02
Then you go in there, they at the counter laugh, laying all
23:05
over the counter laugh. Yeah, yeah.
23:08
That's, that's that's wild, man. That's the ultimate.
23:10
That's like I said, that's the ultimate deal breaker though.
23:13
Yeah, yeah, y'all got to stop that mess a these these
23:16
relationship. Don't don't y'all do this
23:20
stonewalling stone passive aggressive behavior where you
23:25
withdraw emotionally from a conflict, refusing to engage
23:29
some people. The stonewalling thing for me is
23:33
I guess they like you know, they know the the woman can do it,
23:38
for example. Oh men too, like they don't want
23:41
to say nothing. Will you make a mad?
23:43
Don't want they. What are you saying?
23:45
Just shut down. Yeah, they just, they.
23:48
Yeah. They don't want to say nothing,
23:50
right? You heard me.
23:52
I know. You heard me talking to you,
23:53
don't you? Oh, now you're going to be like
23:56
that. Of course.
23:58
Then I got some practice in that.
24:00
Yeah. After 25 years I've admitted you
24:04
should be together 29, so almost close to 30.
24:08
I didn't experience anything. Well, you said that's that's,
24:11
that's Vietnam right there. Yeah, you ain't lying.
24:14
You got like, you don't hurt me, OK, That's all right, right?
24:18
You wait, you're going to want to talk out the while and then
24:20
they ain't going to want to talk.
24:22
Right, they say. So you're saying that's
24:23
disrespectful, just like to shut down in a relationship, just,
24:27
you know, instead of just talking about it?
24:30
Well, sometimes it's best to shut down because if you don't,
24:33
it can lead into it can lead into something.
24:35
You know what I'm saying? And just hey.
24:37
Oh, you know it. Well, y'all.
24:39
Yay. The boys say you're on the
24:41
couch. I ain't gonna lie.
24:43
I ain't sleeping on no cow dog. You can have your half.
24:47
I have my half, right? But I ain't.
24:49
I can't. I can't do that, dog.
24:51
For all the brews out there, for all the Bros out there, when you
24:54
before, when you get ready to shut down, just like just say,
24:57
listen, I ain't feeling it right now.
25:01
I just need some time at the moment.
25:03
That's all I need. Give me a minute.
25:05
Yeah, give me a minute. So.
25:06
How do you know? Yeah, 'cause I know what you
25:08
saying about like some people shut down, like if they can shut
25:11
down and can be detrimental to the relationship if they just
25:14
shut completely down. And you know when you don't have
25:18
no, no, you don't get a reason of why, even though you know,
25:21
you may have a disagreement. But if you don't have no reason
25:24
to why you shut down just like like you were saying to lead to
25:28
you hear me talking to you, do you hear?
25:30
Me and then like you said, they can lead to something else.
25:32
You know what I'm saying? How you address this there when
25:36
she said, look, I want you to say what you just said, OK,
25:40
we're going to role play. You say what you just said.
25:43
You hear me talking to you? No, no, I'm talking about the
25:46
first one. You said, you know, just give me
25:47
a minute. OK, just look, I ain't feeling
25:51
it right now. Just give me a moment, you know,
25:55
and just let me, you know, let me unwind.
25:58
No, no, no, I don't want to know.
26:00
I won't talk about this right now.
26:02
Not. But I need to unwind right now.
26:04
Yeah, I don't care about the unwind.
26:06
You had all the time to ride home to unwind.
26:09
Now I need to talk about this thing right now.
26:12
I don't care about if you didn't work 15 hours.
26:16
I don't care if your back hurt. You came in this house and you
26:20
spoke to everybody in here except for me.
26:23
We could. Look man, you know what?
26:26
You know what? I'll be back, man.
26:28
I'm going to go outside for. A minute.
26:29
You know what? I'm saying.
26:31
You're going to have the next word lack of communication.
26:34
You're going to be like, I got some tap it out.
26:38
Poor communication can lead to misunderstandings, unresolved
26:41
conflicts and the sense of disconnect.
26:43
You like, look bro, I didn't told you I don't want to get
26:47
into that, right? So just just let's just let it
26:52
be. You know what I'm saying?
26:53
These are relationship don't see all this is have to be for let
26:58
let it cool off. But I, I, but I feel, I feel
27:02
you, though. I feel you.
27:04
When they when, like I said, you know, in the past, like you
27:08
know, past relationships, whatever, you know, younger days
27:11
or whatever, Hey, they're going to demand an answer now.
27:14
They want one. And you going to have to be
27:16
like, yo look, hey, I need it. Well, you know what?
27:19
I don't know what I'm going to do.
27:20
I'm going to step outside, you know what I'm saying?
27:22
Or you know if you get if it get. 2.
27:26
Out of the, you know, 2 haywire or like you said with the
27:28
mayhem, yeah. Then you just get in your car
27:31
and just leave and come back. Yeah, and but some cases they'll
27:35
still be waiting on you when you get.
27:37
Back I was just about to say that, hey, you can leave, but
27:40
your problem's still going to be there when you get back.
27:42
It's like folk drinking when they drink.
27:44
They that when they drinking, they forget about the problem.
27:47
But when that when that wear off and that hangover wear off, that
27:50
problem is still there. So to sum all that up, I get
27:54
some nutshell. If you got if, if it's to that
27:56
point where you can't, you, it ain't no way out.
27:59
You know what I'm saying? You going to just have to.
28:01
You can just say that if you can't work now, you can just
28:04
have to kill that relationship. Yeah, dawg, especially if it's
28:07
if it's if it's a fresh and new one, because you know, and when
28:10
you older in a, in a marriage, you know, you going to have
28:13
those kind of bumps, you know, but if it's new and they demand
28:19
an answer you like, hey, look the diplomatic way, like, hey,
28:22
you know, just give me a minute. You know what I'm saying?
28:25
I'm I'm just, I'm a little tired.
28:27
No, no, I don't want to hear all that.
28:29
That's what now you got to figure it out like the the
28:31
younger people you got to figure out like if this is something
28:35
you want to come home to every night or is it, you know,
28:40
something you think you can fix Now you make it go through
28:42
therapy or whatever. And that may be an option,
28:45
right? What did she say?
28:46
I ain't crazy. I ain't going to do nothing.
28:48
You go do therapy. So now you get yourself together
28:51
and she still messed up or vice versa.
28:53
So. Yeah, and a lot of yeah, a lot
28:57
of new relationship with the new, with the new people now, a
28:59
lot of new relationships are like that because they, you
29:03
know, it's a, it's a me I want it now generation.
29:07
So you can't come home now with the new guys, They can't come
29:10
home now or new girls, females, they can't come home now and be
29:14
like, you know, listen, let me calm down.
29:17
Let me get take a breather. No, no, no, no, no.
29:20
I, I, I want, I need it now. I want, I want to, I want to
29:23
answer now, now you're. Going to answer me.
29:25
You answer me now. Because that's how it is.
29:27
So like I said, man, therapy or either, like you said, take off.
29:31
You got to get out of your relationship.
29:33
That that that's the one right before we go to break.
29:35
Is that selfishness, man, You know, they they selfish like,
29:38
hey, I want you to tell me like I'm tired.
29:42
I don't care. You going to talk to me tonight?
29:46
You came in this house or whatever time you came in, you
29:48
spoke to everybody that said for me, I came in the house and
29:51
said, hey everybody, since I ain't single you out, we got a
29:55
problem. But y'all, we're going to jump
29:56
back, right back into it after the break, y'all?
33:41
Military broadcast radio, the station that's giving veterans a
33:46
voice Find. Us on the web at MB Radio dot
33:51
Opinions expressed in this program are those of the
33:54
speakers and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions
33:58
of any entities they represent. Yes Sir, yes Sir, yes Sir.
34:06
Oh man, shout out to these veterans out here doing their
34:08
thing. Oh yeah, no doubt.
34:10
Yeah, they doing their thing. We got two more in this section
34:14
right here and shipped over to the other part I So one of you
34:19
mentioned earlier technology excessive use online activity
34:25
can distract from quality time together.
34:29
Like you said you out you just can't stop They you said they
34:34
just can't stop and you said they're like bro I mean look bro
34:39
you can't like like we were saying earlier you hear me
34:43
talking to you Yeah right now I'm on the phone right there
34:46
hold over for me man let me let me file this No, I need you to
34:51
put that down. You hear me right now?
34:52
Hold on, I'm almost finished though I got.
34:56
See what I'm saying? That's how it go left.
34:58
It go left like. That and then you know what
35:00
we're trying to snatch it from you like and that's when you get
35:03
they got the arm out like stop, let me finish.
35:07
And that that's what that's where the issue come in.
35:09
This is the major. This is one of the major ones in
35:12
this last one about why relationship not race.
35:16
Do don'ts in relationship Relationship don'ts.
35:22
Unhealed trauma, past traumas can affect a person's ability to
35:28
form healthy relationships and create baggage that can impact
35:32
the current relationship. Bringing your old stuff into the
35:36
new dog is like that. Drop that trauma.
35:41
I understand. Like, you know, you went through
35:43
it. You know what I'm saying?
35:44
But hey, you can't, can't, can't drag that in there because they
35:50
give me like, yo bro, I understand.
35:52
Like, you know, you used to fight.
35:54
But every time I raise my voice, they don't mean we got to go
35:58
throwing stuff at each other, right?
36:00
Because that's what he used to. Or she used to.
36:02
You know what I'm saying? Yeah, and like I said, you got
36:05
to be mindful. You know, a situation like that,
36:08
like I said, you'll pick up on it early in a situation like
36:12
that. You know, if you run a encounter
36:13
that or run across, run across that.
36:16
But like I said, man, you know, for the guys out there or
36:18
females out there, they got to count on if they looking to get
36:21
into another relationship, they got to give the next the next
36:25
person the benefit of the doubt. They got two dogs, you know.
36:27
In the beginning, you know what I'm saying and.
36:29
You know what, I I thought it was the last one, but I got one
36:32
more. Which one would we got?
36:34
And maybe just as important. OK, Please, please, please don't
36:41
be checking out a checking out other women when you're on a
36:44
date. If so, is old.
36:47
It was old. Brother.
36:49
Grand opening. Grand closing.
36:52
Open close that quick. I'm just saying that it's a
36:57
wrap. I was just saying do not do not
37:00
men that's dating about dating girl on the first date.
37:06
If you got wandering eyes, keep them in check, docking, keep
37:12
them in check, because if this well, you feel like this the one
37:15
that's definitely I'm going to tell you now that's a deal
37:18
breaker for show. It ain't no question about it,
37:21
Doc, so that we're going to transition into healthy
37:25
relationship habits. Be respectful.
37:30
You know what I'm saying? Open the door for a dog.
37:33
You know what I'm saying? Like don't don't push the door
37:36
open. You figure out how to get in it,
37:38
you know what I'm saying? When you say dog, you going in a
37:42
restaurant, you open the door, you walk in first and just push
37:45
it open. Let her walk in behind you.
37:47
Yeah, I hope you. I hope you can catch it because.
37:50
I'm just saying, do you see it all the time though?
37:52
I'm just saying you can't do that.
37:55
You know what I'm saying? Now I will do this.
37:59
All right, talk to. Me now, I open the door, you
38:01
know what I'm saying? Like we're going in a
38:03
restaurant, stuff like that or whatever.
38:04
Right now. I will do this like when I'm
38:07
coming home from a restaurant, I walk.
38:11
I walk in the house first. Oh for sure, 100%.
38:16
I didn't say it first. It depends.
38:18
It depends on where I'm going. I don't in there.
38:21
Now if I'm walking in the floor, excuse me, let me go back that
38:24
up. If I'm walking in the door first
38:27
for all the people that's out there now, majority it depends
38:30
on where I am. Yep, Yep, for sure.
38:33
Well, I'm going in for now. We going in, you know, nice
38:35
restaurant or whatever, we're going to sit down.
38:37
Then night, a night out and dinner and all that stuff like
38:39
that, you know, yeah, open the door, let my wife in first and
38:42
daughter in first or whatever. But it depends on where I'm at.
38:46
Like if I'm going in, if I'm coming home from a night out,
38:50
I'm coming in, I'm coming in, I'll walk, I'll walk in the door
38:52
first. You got to.
38:54
You know, just in case it might be, you know, some something
38:58
went on in the house or whatever, you know, I might have
39:00
to, you know, take, you know, do a lot, use a lot of action or
39:02
something. You know, I won't want my wife
39:05
or my daughter or son or child or whatever to take, even
39:09
though, you know, you got everybody got alarm systems and
39:11
all that. But still it's just might happen
39:14
when I come in and they with me, I walk in first because they.
39:19
Want to clear the house? Yeah, I don't want them to take
39:22
the the brunt or anything if something you know, go down.
39:24
So other than that, you know, other than that, I open the door
39:28
and let them be in. First don't push the door on
39:32
Bros and that and these are relationship dudes that open the
39:36
door. Also that Wayne said y'all got
39:41
to bring canned in flowers but if you going to bring her food
39:45
that make the night special right don't take it.
39:50
Don't bring no fast food bag of Chick-fil-A.
39:55
Hey, I thought I'd stop by and grab you.
40:00
No, I thought I'd stop by and grab you something real quick.
40:03
I know you said you ought to go to the cheesecake, but this
40:06
right here is, you know I ain't wrong with No, I won't need no
40:08
cheesecake. No, Chick-fil-A, the Chick-fil-A
40:12
bag, that's a travel bag. That's if you that's if you own
40:16
85 or 95 or whatever. You stopping off this, you know,
40:19
hit stop you. Know what I'm saying?
40:21
That's it dog. Y'all got to do better.
40:24
Have a date night, dog. Make sure y'all in relationship.
40:27
Y'all have a date night. Y'all set some time aside When
40:30
y'all go handle y'all business. You may dress up a little bit,
40:33
you know, and whatnot and then go for married couples.
40:36
Y'all been married 60 years. Y'all still can go out, you know
40:41
what I'm saying? You ain't got to make a cook at
40:43
home all the time, dog. You.
40:45
Hey bro, go out to eat somewhere, you know what I'm
40:48
saying? Don't go, don't go to just
40:50
'cause you know heart has got the senior citizen discount.
40:53
Don't keep no doubt. Stop taking the get the senior
41:00
citizen discount dog. Take them somewhere for real.
41:03
And even, you know, like, I guess you know, you 'cause you
41:05
got the elderly, you know, they can go for any of them, but you
41:08
know, since you got the elderly right on deck, on deck right
41:11
now, even if you know, if they just go out for like a little
41:14
lunch or something. Yeah, we're everybody at work,
41:17
you know, go. Have a 2 lunch, yeah, You know,
41:19
2-3 o'clock in the, you know, afternoon or whatever.
41:22
You know, you want to take a little lunch out, you know, if
41:24
you want to call it lunch, you know, you can slide in there,
41:26
you know, slide on right, you know, right on out or whatever.
41:29
So you have to deal with the knuckleheads after 6-7 o'clock.
41:32
Because you definitely going to deal with them up here.
41:34
If they if they in the Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill area in the
41:38
Triad, they're going to definitely find out.
41:40
Because y'all, y'all, y'all going to run into it tomorrow
41:42
that way all day. Yeah, that you, but you know,
41:46
I'm, I'm going to try to leave, you know, so early.
41:48
There's going to be, you know, it'll be like 5 in the morning.
41:52
So I can try to duck a lot of it.
41:54
But but if I'm going up north, you can't duck it.
41:58
It ain't no way of getting around.
42:00
Last time we went to New York. You can't duck it, dog.
42:02
It's it was better if you can't even deck it.
42:06
But yeah, I was referring to like but y'all leaving tomorrow,
42:09
but I was referring to like tomorrow with the as far as like
42:12
you know, like the they taking their spouse out to.
42:14
Eat. Oh, yeah.
42:15
Yeah. Mother's Day.
42:16
You know that one? Yeah.
42:18
You know how Mother's Day going to roll tomorrow?
42:19
You know what that is, dog? That's one of the days, you
42:22
know, you got that. You know your birthday, You got
42:25
Christmas, New Year's birthday, Mother's Day.
42:29
What? The other one, Dalisa, You got 5
42:32
or 6 in a year. You can get lucky.
42:34
You might. Tomorrow might be your day.
42:36
What you, what you, what you going to get, You know how it is
42:39
a joke, but what you going to get next month, next month, that
42:43
Salisbury steak TV, that Mother's Day, that Mother's Day
42:51
is a national holiday. But when the fathers come
42:54
around, when you get that Salisbury steak?
42:58
And I'm underwear from Family Dollar.
43:00
TV dinner. Yeah.
43:03
We will go cook. We.
43:05
Just joke. We just joke with y'all mom, we
43:07
know y'all look out for us, you know?
43:08
Yeah, we know y'all look out for us.
43:09
But we, we, we've been we've been behind the 8 ball for so
43:13
long. We now getting up, we now, we
43:15
now getting a little notoriety now.
43:18
Yeah. In the past.
43:19
In the past though, it was just like, yo.
43:22
Just a little bit, just a little bit.
43:24
I'm just telling y'all like, hey, he's y'all a players, a
43:30
fellas husbands, y'all play y'all cards, right?
43:34
Mother's Day, right? Right.
43:38
Oh boy, Birdman rubbed. I was just saying hey, also in
43:46
relationships, that y'all set expectations up front.
43:50
Do not wait till you get in the in the middle of relationship
43:54
and then try to set try to shift gears like hold on, wait a
43:57
minute. Well, we didn't discuss that,
44:00
but wait a minute. Where?
44:01
Where? I'm just saying though, you in?
44:03
Trouble. Then you in trouble.
44:05
Then, dog, if you wait that long.
44:07
If you wait that long, you in trouble.
44:09
Yeah, dog, after you went on 6-7 dates and all of a sudden here
44:13
you go. You want to be like, well, no,
44:15
remember, no, we set that up front.
44:19
I'm telling y'all if y'all want y'all relationship to be
44:23
successful, set expectations. Like hey if you got a baby Mama
44:27
or baby daddy, ain't no calling whenever they want.
44:32
That's over. Right, Some of some of them.
44:35
Some of them switch the game over to make make expectations
44:38
in the middle of the marriage. They'll be like, hold up, you
44:39
know? Wait a minute, play what you
44:42
say. Yeah, yeah, I know some of my
44:44
boys, I used to watch some of my boys used to work with was in
44:47
that witness predicament like that.
44:48
So that's why we bring it to the forefront.
44:51
That's why me and Talk Man, Talk 133 is here.
44:54
We are here for y'all. That's what we do.
44:56
We're going to finish talking to y'all after the break y'all.
44:58
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45:57
Military broadcast radio The station that's giving veterans a
46:02
voice. Find us.
46:03
On the web at MB Radio dot. Opinions expressed in this
46:08
program are those of the speakers and do not necessarily
46:13
reflect the views or positions of any entities they represent
46:18
back then. Man talk 133 shout out to that
46:21
fairway. If I'm not mistaken, I think
46:23
they was in Saint Vincent somewhere so y'all might want to
46:27
check them out, Give him a little shout out, you know what
46:29
I'm saying? And see, hey, see what y'all can
46:31
get going on dawg. So healthy relation health, a
46:35
healthy relationship habits involve fostering trust,
46:39
respect, and open communication along with active, actively
46:44
engaging in the relationship and expressing appreciation.
46:49
These habits also include setting boundaries.
46:52
We just talked about expectations or whatever and
46:57
forgiving each other and making time for each other.
47:01
Elaboration. They were going to elaborate on
47:04
it, dawg. Understand trust.
47:05
The foundation of a healthy relationship is honesty and the
47:10
ability to trust each other's words and act.
47:13
And that's a, that's a big one because when that when I think
47:18
who had that song when a woman's fed up?
47:20
Oh yeah, it's killing. Yeah, yeah, kill.
47:26
It's over. You know, take a long time to
47:29
build it back. That's for that's for sure.
47:32
So y'all make sure y'all operate in honesty and trust because
47:36
you're going to get caught. Yeah, they can buy whatever they
47:39
want to buy. I've seen so many Bros do that.
47:41
But they can buy what they want to buy, try to get what they
47:43
want to get. She fed up.
47:45
His overdaw is a is a wrap. And you know, we talked and then
47:49
we talked about this on one of our shows, and you know you're
47:54
going to get caught. Oh yeah, no doubt.
47:56
Hey, David got caught in the Bible.
47:59
He sent. He sent old boy out the war.
48:01
He looked over at Bathsheba and he was like, yeah, He was like,
48:05
hey, I got to have that. Sent old boy out the war, got
48:07
him killed. Guess what still got caught.
48:10
You're going to get. Dropped.
48:11
If they look trust bro, if they look in the media what's going
48:16
on today, they can tell. They know they're going to get
48:18
caught. These boys are getting caught
48:21
for 2025 years ago. You know you get ready to get
48:24
caught with your little messages on Messenger.
48:26
Boy, let me tell you something. How?
48:28
And that that part now you said that I don't want, I don't get
48:31
that part 25 years later, 87 or 88.
48:35
Right. They're, they're on messenger
48:36
sending messages and all this stuff like that.
48:38
No girls holding that stuff, man.
48:40
They, you know, they good at holding it.
48:42
Yeah, they're going to get you one way or another.
48:45
Respect, dog. Respect involves treating your
48:48
partner with kindness, understanding, and value in
48:51
their opinions and feelings. Hey, if she got something to
48:54
talk about, he got something to talk about.
48:57
If he about dog, he ain't got to be about you all the time.
49:00
You ain't got to be the front runner.
49:02
Hey, well, you know I understand what you got to say, but you
49:05
remember last time. You remember last time though,
49:09
you did the same thing right now, bro, it ain't about you or
49:14
sis and that's it that just you know what I understand.
49:17
You know what, you right, you win this time, but I know it's
49:21
going to be a time where you going to mess up again and I'm
49:24
going to be on your honey you. Like back like say like back
49:28
pockets. There you go like button downs
49:32
on a Friday night that going to be on your but you but you know
49:38
you got to treat it with kindness.
49:40
You can't, you know, you can't just snap off on them, even
49:43
though sometimes you feel like it.
49:47
You got to be like, you know what?
49:48
I'm going to eat this one this time, dog.
49:50
I'm going to go ahead. I'm going to eat it and I'm I'm
49:54
just going to eat this one. Yeah, sometimes you just got to
49:56
take more for the team, man. You know what you got to do?
50:00
You win, all right? I'm done with it.
50:02
Yeah, yeah. And we, you know, we talked
50:05
about over open communication, you know, you got to I, this is
50:09
a different type of open communication because you got to
50:12
establish healthy communication patterns, including actively,
50:17
actively listening, expressing emotions, seeking clarification
50:22
and seeking clarification is crucial.
50:25
Because you think about it, if he, if he's sitting there trying
50:28
to express his, his emotions to you, no way, baby.
50:32
You know, I, I mean, and I, I don't know how I'm feeling, you
50:35
know, I got this feeling for you, you know, and I, I just
50:38
don't, you know, I don't know how to express it because you
50:41
know, I, I, you know, I love you, girl.
50:43
She'd be like, love me. What are you talking about?
50:45
I ain't in love. With you.
50:48
Oh bro, bro, you got one like that?
50:50
You better hey, you better catch the next Uber.
50:53
Whatever you going to catch. What you better in the room
50:56
Dollar with what I'm trying to express myself to you like Hey,
51:01
you know I love you. She like you know what I I think
51:04
we I think it ain't you it me when they hit you with that one.
51:09
Yeah, it's time to bounce. Yeah, it's time to bounce Like
51:13
it ain't me, it ain't you, it's me.
51:15
It's like when they do that. Hey exit stage left cuz.
51:19
Swear it's not you, it's me. You did everything right.
51:23
You showed me. You love me, you know, check me
51:25
out. You help me with gifts, you know
51:29
you, you just. She was a real gentleman, but it
51:32
just ain't. It ain't, it ain't you.
51:33
It's me. I ain't ready.
51:34
He sat there and expressed his emotions and pulled his heart
51:39
out to you. And you shoot the man down like
51:42
you ski shoot. For all the Bros, yeah, Skeet,
51:46
shoot, that was a good one. For all the Bros that may that
51:50
may be going through there to get that message.
51:53
She already got somebody else. Yeah.
51:56
Already done. That's the.
51:57
Same same thing with the female, but we talking about we talking
51:59
about the Bros expressing their emotions because a lot of times
52:03
you know, they or we you know, we have may have a hard time
52:07
doing it right unless we got the right partner.
52:11
Right, there you go. You know what I'm saying?
52:13
But but when you got one that hit you like that right there,
52:16
like what you just said? Yeah.
52:18
Yeah, you might. She she already got somebody
52:20
else, bro. You might as well just just take
52:22
your loss. Yeah.
52:23
It's it's over. It is what it is.
52:25
Like I said, man talk. Yeah, we got this.
52:27
We got to see it like a man. You know what I mean?
52:30
We got to help the man out, but. It's over though.
52:32
It's over. Ain't no need to keep hanging
52:34
around. It's over and.
52:36
We need to keep buying them expensive bouquets.
52:39
Get treated like a lap dog, that's what's going to happen.
52:41
That's. Exactly what's going to happen?
52:44
You buy them expensive bouquets for and you know what she do
52:47
with them? Give it a new man you.
52:50
See what I'm saying? You running around, Have you
52:55
running around? Have them run around like a lap
52:56
dog. That's what happened, man.
52:58
When they tell you that it's over.
53:00
Just hey, just just take it. It's over.
53:03
Yeah, we do have up though. That'll sit there.
53:06
Yeah, when you. Say kills When you say kills it,
53:12
it's not you, it's me. I'm I'm.
53:17
I'm I know how you feel and you know, you got some relationship,
53:21
though, you know that sit there and listen.
53:23
They they listen to them, you know, and they be like, you know
53:26
what, I ain't know you felt like that, you know what I'm saying?
53:30
You know, and then they start really start moving into the
53:33
relationship. But that first one, if you got
53:36
an example like that, you might as well go ahead and you know,
53:39
go ahead and just you know what you should do.
53:42
Don't say nothing. Just get up.
53:45
If you got some at the house, go ahead and get you one of them,
53:48
one of them to load Walmart bags and throw it in there.
53:54
And roll it out. So what you going to do dog?
53:56
Just take off because it ain't going.
53:58
I'm telling y'all it ain't going to get no better, no better You
54:04
is is me, is it? You know it's me, not you.
54:08
I just I ain't ready yet. Roll out.
54:12
You know what I'm saying? Roll out.
54:14
Active engagement, show effective.
54:16
Spend quality time together and actively engaged and activities
54:20
that y'all both enjoy. Y'all like riding motorcycles or
54:23
whatever y'all skating or something.
54:25
Go do it. It's going to be all like y'all
54:27
relationship man, you know, and y'all going to be closer like
54:31
hey, you know, remember that time you failed?
54:33
Y'all be telling the grandkids. Remember that time you failed?
54:36
Oh that was crazy. You remember that time you
54:38
failed into the real and y'all can remember them, them little
54:41
things. Appreciation.
54:42
Express gratitude. For your.
54:44
Partner's contributions and show appreciation for their efforts.
54:49
Dog. Hey man, I appreciate.
54:50
Hey, you know what? I appreciate you getting up
54:53
early in the morning. I know it's early now.
54:54
I'm going to tell you something about this too.
54:57
And I ain't just saying this to score no branding points 'cause
54:59
she ain't even going to hurt this before Mother's Day, Dog,
55:01
it's going to be out. There, right?
55:07
Maybe it'll be for native weekend, although maybe I can
55:10
back-to-back it hold right, You know that Keisha, good for that.
55:16
Like hey, you know, you know what, I appreciate it.
55:18
You getting up to 40 five, 3:00 in the morning, getting up and
55:23
go do what you do working Saturdays, you know, whatever, I
55:27
appreciate it. You know what I'm saying?
55:29
Now if your partner come and say hey, I get it and I understand,
55:40
but you can do just a little better.
55:42
I feel like your appreciation and then your backhand at the
55:50
same time, you'd be like, yo hold on bro, what?
55:57
Wait a minute, what'd you say? I thought you just said I was
56:00
doing. You are.
56:01
You are, but it's so much more than you, man.
56:05
Please egg. No, no.
56:10
There's so much more you could do better.
56:12
I know you can. I seen you do it, you know what
56:15
I'm saying? You could do better dog.
56:18
Then you know. Hey, you got something?
56:20
No, go ahead man. I'm just thinking now you can do
56:23
better. I'm like, what do you do?
56:28
How about I can do better? What you got going on player
56:32
like what is you doing that every time I come home you
56:35
sitting in the same spot but I can do.
56:37
Better, right, You can do better.
56:40
It's so there's so much more potential than you.
56:45
I know it's boring you if you can do more.
56:48
I know. I seen it.
56:49
The potential is there, but you just got to tap into it.
56:53
OK? I got you.
56:54
We'll come back. I got you.
56:56
OK, you better. You might want to start.
56:59
If you married, you can digest that a little better because you
57:03
know what? They be with you all the time.
57:05
They know. Married couples know when
57:07
somebody's slagging off. Yeah, you know they know like
57:11
you know you. Yeah, bro.
57:12
Come on, you. And they, you know, like I said,
57:14
they know your limits too. You know each other's limits,
57:17
you know what I'm saying? You know.
57:18
Yeah, they know. And then so you kind of like I
57:21
can accept that, But if you date somebody and they ain't doing
57:25
nothing and then you you helping them pay their bills and you got
57:30
a little bit more, I know you got a little bit more than you
57:32
than that. You can do better.
57:35
It's in you. Hey, better roll out.
57:37
You better roll out early in the game.
57:40
Get out. Hey, y'all forgiveness, Learn to
57:44
forgive each other for mistakes and hurts and let go of past
57:48
grief, grievances to maintain healthy relationship.
57:53
I know, I know, they make first y'all last week, but you gotta
57:58
let it go to embarrass you in front of your family dog and
58:02
y'all. Look at him, look at him.
58:03
You know how they do look at him.
58:07
Know about that one? Good look.
58:12
At everybody. Look at.
58:13
Look at him. Even though my baby, even though
58:16
my baby, she won't do it. She wouldn't do me like that.
58:19
You know what I'm? Saying but, but I feel what
58:21
you're saying though, you know, you got to let you know, you got
58:23
to let some stuff slide, but I don't know about all that.
58:27
I don't know about all that. You know, you going to talk a
58:30
little trash made behind closed doors.
58:31
That's what everybody do. But you can't.
58:33
You can't make me look like that in front of the crowd.
58:35
Not. In front of.
58:37
The not without me saying nothing back.
58:40
You cannot. Do a brother like that because
58:43
that that right there because it it creates even more resentment.
58:48
You know what I'm saying? They like yo, so so that So
58:52
that's how we're going to do that.
58:54
OK, cool. Ain't no problem.
58:55
I got you. Don't even worry about it.
58:57
I got you. And then mutual respect,
59:00
respecting each other's opinions and boundaries and feelings,
59:05
even doing disagreements is vital for healthy and long
59:08
lasting relationship. Hey, like you said dog, you got
59:11
respect. Yeah, just got to be a team
59:13
player, man, you know? You know what you got respect.
59:16
Dog, you shouldn't have married. Couples and the ones that have
59:19
been in the game for a while, they know, you know, like, you
59:22
know, you know what I'm saying, you know, you know, you got to
59:24
work as a team or whatever, respect each other.
59:26
But like I said, you know, some of the, the newer heads, you
59:30
know, you got to kind of pay attention, you know, just in
59:32
case you might need an exit plan and you know, and I'll let you
59:36
go ahead on tap out and finish out or whatever, you know.
59:38
Yeah, yeah, but we about to we, we about to end this thing.
59:40
Y'all support each other and when you support them and when
59:43
they do something real good, y'all celebrate them.
59:48
I mean don't don't be they do something good.
59:50
You hating on them. You know he he, he go again.
59:55
Anyway, y'all thank y'all for joining Man Talk 133 with Shaul
59:59
and Daryl and the next time God bless we out.
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