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How does co-parent counseling work? · Family Law Talk

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  Speaker 1: Welcome to Familylaw Talk. Familylaw Talk presented by Kirk Stangy
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  of Stangy Law Firm PC. Stangy Law Firm is a
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  multi state family law firm. Now here's your host, Kirk Stangy.
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  Speaker 2: Welcome to Family Law Talk. We have an interesting topic today.
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  The topic is how does co parent counseling work? And
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  this episode today is based on an article on our
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  blog Familylawheadquarters dot com dated October twelfth, twenty twenty five,
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  and the title of the article is the scoop on
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  co Parentcounseling. So as a follow up to the episode
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  today and going over to familaw Headquarters dot com and
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  read this article from more information. But let's go ahead
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  and jump on in. The reality is that co parent
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  counseling is a popular trend in divorcing FAMI law matters.
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  In some cases, the parties might agree to go to
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  co parenting counseling together on their own accord in order
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  to try to communicate better with one another, and a
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  lot of cases this isn't the situation, but what ends
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  up happening is the court with the guardian at l
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  item recommend co parent counseling. In some cases, They might
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  even do an order for co parent counseling which orders
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  the parties to engage in it in meaningful attempts to
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  try to communicate better. All right. The idea behind co
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  parent counseling is that it can enhance the communication skills
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  of parties that are divorcing or separating, and then the
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  hope is that by communicating more effectively, then the parties
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  will be able to work together in a more amicable
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  manner for the best interests of their kids. Right, and so,
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  lots of parties when going through these cases can be
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  aver serial, They can be upset with one another, there
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  can be hard feelings. But the idea is that if
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  parties are able to work together in a cordial manner,
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  then this will be good for the parties, this will
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  be good for the kids, and hopefully this will result
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  in less repeat litigation in really an amicable resolution to
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  disputes that might take place. All right, So, in hearing this,
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  many wonder, well, what does this look like and how
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  does this work? Okay? Obviously, co parent counseling can be
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  different based on the co parent counselor and based on
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  the facts, but in a general sense, what happens is
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  the co parent counselor will meet each party alone for
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  a certain number of sessions, get to know each of
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  the parties individually, try to find out who they are,
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  what they're about, and what their communications styles are, and
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  then you know what are the differences between the parties. Okay.
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  So typically the co parent counselor will meet each of
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  the parties separately for a while, and then ultimately we'll
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  bring the parties together into joint sessions. I mean this
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  is normally the case, and the joint sessions could be
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  in person. In the day and age of virtual meetings,
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  it could be via zoom something like that, where the
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  parties are not in the same room. But the idea
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  is that therapist then works with the parties on how
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  to communicate better. Okay, And so the sessions can be
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  quite a bit different based on the parties and the
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  circumstances in the communication that takes place between the parties.
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  Sometimes communication might be more free flowing with a therapist
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  sort of sitting back and letting the communication happen and
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  they offer suggestions. In other cases where maybe it's adverseerial
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  or maybe there's a lot of hard feelings the therapists
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  might have to regulate the conversation much more in a
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  structured manner, all right. Therapists also might ask the parties
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  to do some work between the sessions. Okay, And this
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  could really entail a lot of stuff from reading books,
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  reading literature, to maybe writing things down for the next
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  meetings or homework of things to think about coming into
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  the next sessions. Okay, And this can again look very
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  different based on the parties, how they communicate, what the
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  differences are, and what the backgrounds are. All right. And
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  again the hope is that by doing this, parties are
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  able to co parent better, They're able to get along
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  in a way that it is at least cordial and
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  that is at least amicable, and that this can result
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  in the parties settling their issues outside of the court system.
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  All right, So this is the hope, This is the aspiration.
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  You know. One of the other questions parties have is well,
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  how long does a co parent counseling continue. This is
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  going to vary based on the facts too, but sometimes
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  co parent counseling can be for many many months, maybe
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  even longer. Sometimes co parenting counseling could be for a
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  shorter duration of time where the parties are able to
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  get on the same page a lot quicker okay. For
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  some parties, you know, they might be in some form
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  of co parenting counseling into the kids are emancipated theoretically,
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  all right, So this can vary a whole lot, okay.
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  Another question parties have is does co parenting counseling always work?
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  And the answer to that question is no, it doesn't
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  always work, and some parties tempers can flare, people can
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  get angry with each other, right, And in these kinds
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  of cases, co parenting counseling can be quite difficult. So
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  there can be circumstances where the parties try co parenting
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  counseling and want or both parties back out of it
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  and don't want to do it anymore. There could be
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  a situation where the co parent counselor recommends that the
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  parties not do it any longer if it's not going well.
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  Other cases where co parenting counseling can be quite difficult,
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  and I think a lot of attorneys would say it's
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  not advisable in cases where there's been some significant domestic violence.
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  Right where there's been domestic violence of a significant nature,
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  it can be very difficult for this to work, and
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  it could be harmful on the party who's been abused
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  to want to participate in the in the co parenting
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  counseling as well. Okay, so no, co parenting counseling doesn't
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  always work, and so then a lot of parties ask, well,
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  is they're worth trying? And the question to that or
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  the answer to that question is a little bit complicated. Obviously,
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  there's never any guarantees in terms of co parenting counseling,
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  never any guarantees. Sometimes co parenting counseling can can truly work,
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  but it ultimately entails both parties wanting it to work,
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  both parties being willing to bury the haget with one
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  another and co parent and compromise. Okay, so that is
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  very very important. But for a lot of parties, yes,
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  it's worth the attempt at least, and parties ought to
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  try it and try it in a meaningful manner. But
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  in some circumstances where one party doesn't want to bury
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  the hatchet, or one party wants to threaten litigation repeatedly
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  if they don't get their way, or where one party
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  is committed, you know, significant accid domestic violence upon somebody.
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  You know, then maybe it's not worth the effort in
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  these circumstances. And I think with the domestic violence, I
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  think a lot of attorneys would say, yeah, probably a
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  bad idea to do this, particularly in person, you know,
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  where there could be concerns with people coming in and
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  out of the sessions together. You know, that would have
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  to be via zoom or something like that if it
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  were even to happen. Okay. Other circumstances where co parenting
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  counseling could be difficult, where one or both of the
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  parties have significant mental illness or personality disorders, or where
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  somebody is very high conflict and not acting rationally, this
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  can be very difficult and there can not be a
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  great likelihood of this succeeding. Okay, So to really kind
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  of sum this up, look, a lot of courts guardia
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  items are fond of co parenting counseling. They're fond of
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  parties at least trying it. So in a lot of
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  cases the parties should probably at least try it, should
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  attempt it, all right. Some parties have success with co
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  parenting counseling, so it can work at times, all right,
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  In cases where both parties want it to work and
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  they want things to get better, there can definitely be
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  a positive impact. And there can be a situation where
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  parties are at least able to be cordial with one another,
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  civil with one another, and that can be extremely helpful.
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  All right, and other circumstances, you know, it might not
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  work and it might not be worth the effort, where
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  there again been domestic violence, a lot of mental illness,
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  or where one party is not really willing to move
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  on and as always threatening litigation if they don't get
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  their way, And these kinds of circumstances very challenging to
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  see it work. But look, I wanted to at least
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  cover this topic and bring it up. This is very common,
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  the idea of co parenting counseling. It's really gaining prominence
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  more and more people trying it, so I thought it
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  was an important topic to cover here today. So again,
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  as a follow up to the episode, going over to
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  FAMI lawheadquarters dot com, read the article titled the Scoop
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  on co parent Counseling. This will give you more information
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  on this topic. But thanks for tuning in today, Stay
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  tuned for our next episode of Family Law Talk coming up.
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  Thank you very much.
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  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to Family Law Talk with Kirk Stangy.
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