Latest / Johnjay & Rich On Demand / Let's take another stab at our segment in progress: RICHCRAFT

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Let's take another stab at our segment in progress: RICHCRAFT · Johnjay & Rich On Demand

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Somebody said witchcraft on the air. I thought they said
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: rich craft, rich craft. And I thought, I think we could.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Build a segment on this.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: No, the first time we did it, we need to
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: be workshopped.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: It's Rich Craft. That crazy Rich Craft. That's right. If
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: you have somebody that's bothering you, maybe even just mildly
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: annoying you, we can put a curse on them that
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: will mildly annoy them back.
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: Well, you can.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: It's Rich Craft. 877-937-1047. So you want to put a
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: curse on someone? Call the radio show. Rich has these powers.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: You know, he hosts this show on the weekends called
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Coast to Coast. He's now become friends with psychics and
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: ghouls and UFO experts.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: All the witches. I know how to do all the things.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, right? Witch, please. Right, Kyle?
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: Witch, please.
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: Witch, please.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: All right, let's say hi to Charlotte. Charlotte, good morning.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Is there someone in your life that you need to
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: put a spell on? Yes.
• 0:57
  Speaker 4: Curse my ex, please.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: What's going on with him? Or her?
• 1:02
  Speaker 4: Him. He broke up with me and moved.
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: I moved out.
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: And he kept all my furniture and wouldn't let me
• 1:08
  Speaker 4: take it back. And now, just recently, he has started
• 1:12
  Speaker 4: to post pictures of his new girlfriend sitting on my
• 1:15
  Speaker 4: couch that I bought. I picked it out. I made
• 1:19
  Speaker 4: all the payments. It was the first, like, big, big
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: girl piece of furniture I bought. You know, I was proud.
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: And now she's posting Instagram stories of them together on
• 1:29
  Speaker 4: my couch.
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: Oh, heck no. Please. Please.
• 1:36
  Speaker 4: Oh, please curse them.
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: Well, you have come to the right place. Let me
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: summon my cauldron of mild revenge, Charlotte. This man, this
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: man I feel has committed a crime, a crime against love,
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: against decency. And against sectional furniture, I hereby place upon
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: him the rich craft curse of the eternal couch crumb.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: May every time he sits on your couch, he feel
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: something sharp under his butt but never find it. May
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: every TV remote disappear between the cushions. And may his
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: new girlfriend always find one long mysterious hair on her
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: side of the couch that does not belong to her.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: And she will question it every single time. And may
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: every time they get romantic on that couch, God forbid,
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry you have to hear this, and make a loud,
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: unmistakable fart noise, you have been where it's crafted. Midnight
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: train to Georgia.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Midnight train. Give me a check.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: Yes! Yeah, that's a curse, for sure. That god-awful laugh.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: Whose was that? That's one of our witches. Now ride
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: the witch's broom. Ride the witch's broom. Ride the witch's broom.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: Ride the witch's broom. Witch, please. Good luck, Charlotte.
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: Thank you. Thank you so much.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: You got it. Oliver, good morning.
• 2:57
  Speaker 5: Morning. I want to curse this guy at my gym.
• 3:00
  Speaker 5: who is the most obnoxious person.
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: Every time he lifts, he grunts and screams over the top, like,
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: and he drops the weight so hard the whole building shakes,
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: which is, you know, typical Jim-ass.
• 3:19
  Speaker 5: Behavior, but he, like, this guy, like, walks around giving
• 3:24
  Speaker 5: unsolicited advice to girls, specifically who are just trying to
• 3:28
  Speaker 5: work out. He's that guy. He'll literally interrupt a woman
• 3:32
  Speaker 5: mid-set to tell her she's doing exercise wrong. Like, get
• 3:37
  Speaker 5: over yourself, man. And, you know, then he'll just start
• 3:40
  Speaker 5: to flex in the mirror or just around to see
• 3:43
  Speaker 5: if she's noticed him or whatever. The funniest part is
• 3:48
  Speaker 5: that he's about, like, 5'2, on a good day.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: I mean, we all visualize that. Yes, that makes sense.
• 3:54
  Speaker 4: Rush, please.
• 3:55
  Speaker 5: So, just so you know, I need a curse for
• 3:58
  Speaker 5: this man.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: Okay, Oliver, we got you. Let me stir the cauldron,
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: the ancient scrolls of being snatched, if you will, and
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: let us summon upon this man the curse of the
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: shrinking gains. May every mirror that he flexes in make
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: his arms look like overcooked hot dogs. May every time
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: a remotely attractive woman walks past him, he lets out
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: a little small high-pitched toot just loud enough for her
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: to hear and laugh at him as she walks by.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: And may every time he offers her that unsolicited gym advice,
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: they all look at him and say, excuse me, do
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: you work here? He doesn't work there. He's not good
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: enough to work there. And may every time he grunts
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: during a lift. His voice comes out like a squeaking
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: dog toy. So to spoken, so at shall they swole.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: He has been witchcrafted. I am now going to assault
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: your mind with subliminal messages. Where's the other one? It's
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: not sold without the other one. I just did it
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: last time. It's very powerful. Very powerful.
• 5:11
  Speaker 4: It supports special ed programs.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: Hold on.
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: I feel like I'm... You.
• 5:20
  Speaker 5: Having fun over there, John Jay?
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: That's an old clip of me clearing my throat. Don't
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: summon the curses. Rich, please.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: That should be in between curses. All right, Oliver, thanks
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: for calling in. Thank you. When we end this dead air,
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: it's magic.
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: It's not witchcraft. It's richcraft. He'll tear you
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: The f * * * up.