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The War On Christmas · Conspiracy! The Show

• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Destroy. Welcome to Conspiracy The Show with your hosts Adam
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Todd Brown and Connor mcspaden.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: Hey, everybody, welcome to Conspiracy the Goddamn Show. I'm Adam
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: Todd Brown.
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: Who are you.
• 0:36
  Speaker 4: I'm Connor mcspadden. Connor back in the Trap.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: Connor mcspadden, back in business. Well you were on last
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: week's episode two? I was. Yeah, and the week before that,
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: since we're recording these out of order, yeah, we did
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: a Pizzagate episode.
• 0:49
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that was a that was a fun one.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: Man.
• 0:51
  Speaker 4: Me and Laura knew a lot about pizza Gate.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: She really did. I feel like she came in a
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: believer and left a skeptic. So that means we did
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: our job.
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that day. But you it was like when you
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: see someone show out the class with like all the
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: little like page markers and shit, and they're asking the
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: professor questions and you're like, well, I was not taking
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: this as seriously as you. You've really done your Pizza
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: Gate leg work.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I did a live podcast with Tom Goss once
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: at the Improblem.
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah yeah.
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: He told me about that and it was like.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: A conspiracy theory thing, and I was really showing out
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: because they were like professors who were Russian experts and shit,
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: and I was like, let's talk about the apartment bombings. Hey,
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: Stuart Thompson's here also, Hey, good to be here. Hi,
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: how's it going.
• 1:31
  Speaker 5: I'm just I'm just speachy, man. I'm ready to talk
• 1:33
  Speaker 5: about things that people get paranoid about.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: So it's it's what we do here.
• 1:39
  Speaker 4: This is We're gonna do a whole hour on is
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: there something in your teeth?
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: And you know what, there always is. So I get
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: why people would.
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: Be what have I told you about those spinach bars?
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: I mean, they're sure they're low car but.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: Healthy costs, healthy worth it, that's the question. So we're
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: actually talking about the War on Christmas.
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: You guys get your draft. I got mine. I'm going insanity.
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: I'm just gonna go in there.
• 2:04
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm gonna try and do an OCS program, see
• 2:06
  Speaker 5: if I can be like an officer in the War
• 2:08
  Speaker 5: on Christmas.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: No, I'm just going to see if I can do podcasts.
• 2:11
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna go.
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna go in there seeing dradl Dradel. But I'm
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: changing it to the end words fifty sure thing. I
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: won't be proud of it, but I'll get out of there.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: You know, I feel like if you change it to
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: the N word, they might recruit you faster.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: That's true to probably a different, more problematic war.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: Tucker Carlson's like he's perfect. He is a uber man.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: That's a good time.
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: We have waited years for him. Is the prophecy has
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: been fulfilled?
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: I've been watching too much Man in the High Castle
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: so a good show?
• 2:42
  Speaker 4: Is he good?
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: I tried to watch the first season and I was
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: bored as shit. I'm like, this is the coolest idea
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: for a TV show, and you guys managed to make
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: me not give a half a fuck about it.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you just you can't be on your phone when
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: you watch it. Yeah, so much.
• 2:54
  Speaker 5: You gotta pay attention because it's a lot of it's
• 2:56
  Speaker 5: about the imagery. It's not about like the writing.
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a good show, just like I feel like
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: I was watching it pretty close, and even then I
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: was kind of I was like, I was more interested in,
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: like I like the set design or like you know,
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: all that shit more.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: Than it does look neat.
• 3:09
  Speaker 5: If you're into mad men and doomsday prepping, the Man
• 3:13
  Speaker 5: the High Castle is for you.
• 3:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I'm into one of those things. Did
• 3:17
  Speaker 4: I ever tell abou John Ham's story on the.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: Show, No, you have not.
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: Okay, Well, so we did Russ Battle season two. He
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: was there and Keith and I we got time and
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: we were talking to Patton Oswald a little bit. We're
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: big fans, and he was like very nice, and he'd
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: like recog and he'd watch the show so we' seen.
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: So we talked to him and he's very sweet, and
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: we're like so excited, and he was very He's really
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: cool guy.
• 3:34
  Speaker 4: And we go upstairs. We're kind of like, well, how
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: cool was that? And we're like, yeah, it was really neat.
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: And then we hear this voice from the corner of
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: this dark room, sitting in a leather chair in a suit,
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: drinking whiskey, just go what are you guys so excited about?
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: And then Keith goes, oh, we just met Patton Oswald
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: and he's really nice.
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: You know, we're big fans.
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: You're like, holy shit, you're John Ham And then John
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: Hamm goes, you guys were that excited to meet Patton Oswalt?
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: And then I said and I just told him I
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: was more of a breaking bad guy, and he got mad,
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: that's not much of a story. But this sounds like
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: John Hamm was being a dick, I guess kind of. Yeah,
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: But I mean I also just I've never seen anything
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: he's in, so I had no impulse to try to
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: impress him or be nice to him.
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: So it seems like such a likable guy on screen.
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, he was kind of. He was just like
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: torn from the fucking tableau of like he was just
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: drinking alone in a suit, like it could not have
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: been more on brands. And I was like, well, here's
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: the deal. I don't give a shit if I'm ever
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: friends with John ham that's not gonna happen anyway.
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: So let's see how he reacts to.
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: Someone just being a garden variety cunt to him, because
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: he probably doesn't get that very often.
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: The cunt dinger. We haven't employed it in a while.
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, it's been a while.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: We do absolutely have one. It is a tradition here.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: So let's talk about the War on Christmas. If anyone
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: wants to go read a very definitive article about the
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: War on Christmas, you can find one on Snopes of
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: all places. Which I trust him about half the time.
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: But yeah, I trust him for a political things like yeah,
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: did this guy actually get beheaded when he jumped off
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: the roof and hit this fence? Like, I think they
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: can get to the bottom of that, right, it's anything
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: where there is any kind of agenda behind it. I'm
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: more like, well, no, it's what's going on here, Yeah.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: For sure. And this article it's called a History of
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: the War on Christmas, appropriately enough by David Emery, and.
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: Uh, I love I love his boards.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the War on Christmas is a thing again because
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: of Trump.
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: Trump has he's kind of re reignited the War on
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: Christmas dialogue.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: Brought it roaring back.
• 5:34
  Speaker 5: That's what he was saying during the campaign. He was
• 5:36
  Speaker 5: he was really big on saying we're gonna bring back
• 5:38
  Speaker 5: Merry Christmas.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because remember when we were all banned from saying
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: Mary Christmas in the United States. I did.
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: I did see a good fucking local car dealership commercial
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: while I was out in Oklahoma with Tom and we're
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: watching that like Free Bunny the New Bunny Years TV
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: where it's like the Grit Channel, nine hours of Cowboys
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: and then ten hours of Cowboys every day Cowboy. So
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: it was like one of those who were watching it,
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: I think we're watching like old Johnny Carson Tonight shows
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: they were re running, and one of the commercials was like, well,
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: Jefferson Ford here in a Tulsa, Oklahoma. We got the
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: best selection of new, new and news Fords, and we
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: offer easy financing for the holidays. Come on down to
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: Jefferson Ford. Jefferson Ford, keep christ in Christmas.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: It was just like, whoa shit.
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  Speaker 3: It was just a normal.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: From bad from downtown.
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, just a normal bad local commercial. At the very end,
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: it's just like, uh, the fucking pushed at nine to eleven, Like.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it sounds like with him saying holidays at the end.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: Someone like in post caught that and was like no, no,
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: say Christmas. Yeah yeah, yeah, couldn't they have just reshot it?
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: It wasn't even I mean it was like v oight
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: in like they paid a guy with a deep voice
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: thousands of miles away to say keep christ in Christmas.
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: And I would absolutely take that check. No one's looking
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: up the credits, no one's going on fucking seeing it
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: dot com or whatever to make sure that I was
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: the guy saying keep christ and Christmas.
• 6:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah, of course I would love to see what other
• 6:58
  Speaker 5: vo jobs he gets like it's like each word to call.
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: The Jews have all the money.
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: Ye yeah, if you look at the ratio, they have
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: eight percent of the world's wealth. That doesn't seem like
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: a coincidence to me, especially since we almost fixed this problem.
• 7:11
  Speaker 4: There's not there many of them.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah. This this the War on Christmas as we know
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: it right now, started around two thousand and four. Lots
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: of lives lost so far. Yeah, so many fallen soldiers
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: and it it.
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: I went to the fucking Black Friday Walmart and Ontario
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: with my buddies. Jesus, man, that's the kind of place
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: where people die to Walmart. That that is exactly Ontario, California,
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: Walmart Black Friday, that is where the trampolines go down.
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: And I was just like, man, there's gonna be this
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: is gonna be a bloody one because.
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: I went that's where you get a footprint on your shirt.
• 7:45
  Speaker 4: Oh for sure.
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: I went to Amba Music on Black Friday and it
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: was just it was record store day, but there was
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: no one there. Oh shoot, because that's gonna be all
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: like comics and musicians and shit who are out of
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: town visiting a family during Thanksgiving. It was fucking great.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: I'll bet Yeah, I was gonna read this is such
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: a fucking long quote, so I'm not going to read
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: that shit. But Bill O'Reilly in two thousand and four,
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: on an episode of his show, called for a boycott
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: of Federated department stores and a bunch of different outlets
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: because they were instructing employees to say happy Holidays instead
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: of Merry Christmas. Yeah. I mean it's like, these are businesses.
• 8:26
  Speaker 5: They want they want everyone's money, right, it's in their
• 8:29
  Speaker 5: best interest to say happy holidays.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: It's yeah, it's like, if you like you, if you.
• 8:33
  Speaker 5: Offend a bunch of like, if you're one of those
• 8:35
  Speaker 5: people who believes in like you, you know, let's put
• 8:38
  Speaker 5: the Christ back in Christmas. Maybe you don't feel great
• 8:41
  Speaker 5: about Jewish people, but you're you probably might also be
• 8:45
  Speaker 5: a capitalist who loves money. Yeah, maybe you would want
• 8:48
  Speaker 5: those Jewish people's money.
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: Or yeah, no, the fucking like because the corporations have
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: no agenda aside from get bigger, like that's the only
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: thing they know how to do.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: So yeah, and that point, I don't give.
• 8:59
  Speaker 4: A fuck if you'rre Muslim, They give a fuck if
• 9:01
  Speaker 4: you have money.
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: Exactly, that's whether they like, yeah, they'll they'll say happy Holidays,
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: but they're not gonna let homeless people shit in the bathroom.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: Like yeah, And that's one of the when you really
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: go way back to where this started. One unsurprisingly enough
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: kind of anti semitic, and by kind I mean overtly
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: very much anti semitic are the roots of the War
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: on Christmas. But also that point comes up where they're
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: arguing that, oh, stores are trying to kill Christmas. It's
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: like stores aren't going to kill Christmas. That's when they
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: make all their money.
• 9:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Like, who.
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: In the fuck would think that would be a valid
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: talking point? The answer is Henry Ford.
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's that's like Samuel L. Jackson the fucking nine
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: to eleven in the Capitol One headquarters, Like what are you?
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: What are you talking about?
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: I know where your bread's buttered. Man. Yeah, this is
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: a quote from Henry Ford. Who does everyone know he
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: was a huge anti semi.
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah I didn't know that, Actually, yeah he was.
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: I did a.
• 9:56
  Speaker 5: Project on him in middle school, and then the books
• 9:59
  Speaker 5: I read neglected to mention the anti Semite and someone
• 10:02
  Speaker 5: sort of truthed it to me like a year or
• 10:05
  Speaker 5: two later, it was.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: Like oh Man. Yeah, it's really scrubbed from his story.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: And he wasn't like just sort of an anti Semite.
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: He wrote it. He wrote a series of pamphlets called.
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: Well Now I feel a lot better about Calvin ping
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: on his logos. You know, I feel like he deserves it.
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: He wrote a series of pamphlets under the title The
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: International Jew the World's Foremost Problem.
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: I'm picturing a really Jewish guy in the Austin Powers.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: Get up just the International Jew equally, Harry.
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, for sure, it's just Ari Shafir in a
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: fucking velvet jumpsuit.
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: And this is a quote from Henry Ford in nineteen
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: twenty one. Last Christmas. Christmas, Last Christmas, most people had
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: a hard time finding Christmas cards that indicated anyway that
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: Christmas commemorated someone's birth. That's how everyone talked in the twenties. Yeah,
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: someone's birth. Somebody was born that day.
• 11:00
  Speaker 4: He's being very passive aggressive about it. Someone Maybe you've
• 11:03
  Speaker 4: heard of him.
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: Jesus Christ.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, except he also capitalized someone's birth. Yeah, even the
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: someone's Yeah.
• 11:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: My bit with my family on Christmas is I don't
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: get them an actual Christmas. I get them some other
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: card like this last year. I was pretty proud of it.
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: It was a happy Birthday card, but I just wrote
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: in sharpie Jesus under it to make it a Christmas card.
• 11:22
  Speaker 4: It was fun.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: This is another quote from Henry Ford because in these
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: pamphlets he accused Jews of a whole bunch of stuff.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: This is him talking about Christmas in particular. Not only
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: do the Jews disagree with Christian teaching, which is their
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: perfect right and no one dare question it, but they
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: seek to interfere with it. It is not religious tolerance
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: in the midst of religious difference, but religious attack that
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: they preach and practice. The whole record of Jewish opposition
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: to Christmas, Easter, and certain patriotic songs shows that. And
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: he also accused Jewish store owners, department store owners, of
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: profiteering off Christmas while also trying to destroy it white.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: That makes no sense.
• 12:07
  Speaker 4: Why would Jews have an issue with Easter?
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: If you look at the grass, they clearly own ninety
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: percent of the world's chickens. They're clearing, fucking they're cleaning
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: cleaning house on every Easter. And if you come in
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: my garage and have a michelob ultra with me, I'll
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: yell at you and give you all the details.
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they this is so, this is him making that
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: trying to make that point that department store owners want
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: to kill Christmas, which no regardless place, ethnicity, race, whatever,
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: no department store owner wants to kill Christmas.
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, what do you say we go down to the
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: shack and kill the golden goose? And that sounds like
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: a good plane, Like that is these get dumb jew goose.
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: Die? Like I think Walmart makes most of their money
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: on Black Friday and during Christmas.
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it's like that with like, like I know,
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: comedy promoters. You're like, yeah, you know, I do all
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: right for most of the year, but when New Year's
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: even Valentine's I make ten grand, you know, Like it's
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: just there are seasons for this shit.
• 13:03
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, you got to you gotta know when the
• 13:06
  Speaker 5: money's coming in. And if the money's coming in at
• 13:08
  Speaker 5: this time, you got you know, you can sell all
• 13:10
  Speaker 5: the kind of stuff you want for Christmas. Maybe you
• 13:12
  Speaker 5: don't want to put a Nativity scene in the middle
• 13:14
  Speaker 5: of your you breezeway right.
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: Well, yeah, here's the thing. Breezeways are stupid first of all,
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: and Nativity scenes are ugly. I find them aesthetically a
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: true I'm just like, I don't want to fuck who
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: gives a shit about this fake ass farm that you
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: guys made up anyway, Like, but it's stupid.
• 13:29
  Speaker 5: Well, it's also you know, it's also historically been proven
• 13:33
  Speaker 5: to be relatively inaccurate. You know, it's just like it's
• 13:36
  Speaker 5: it's a story that's been changed and translated and discussed
• 13:39
  Speaker 5: and sort of ruled by committee that this is what
• 13:42
  Speaker 5: it is. Yeah, And because our minds are not able
• 13:45
  Speaker 5: to accurately understand how people were truly living, because history
• 13:50
  Speaker 5: doesn't come with smells, among other things, we don't know.
• 13:53
  Speaker 5: We don't know how some how this alleged Jesus was born.
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: Well, I like the secularrization of the holiday shit, even
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: if it is for a crass commercial interest, because it's
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: like all the fucking religious holiday imagery just reminds me
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: that I'm, you know, roommates in this country with two
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: hundred and eighty million dumb shits to get their morals
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: from the Bronze Age, and it just.
• 14:14
  Speaker 4: Just irritates me.
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: Like with all the fucking Noel and YadA YadA, I
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: just don't know it's stupid.
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: The noel and YadA YadA. Yeah, like any another pamphlet
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: brought to you.
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, no, it's if you're making your own pamphlets,
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: you're definitely racist.
• 14:28
  Speaker 4: Oh I think we can agree, you know.
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: That's the pamphlets are really just zines for guys that
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: want to kill black guys.
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, absolutely, Yeah. And so that's kind of where
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: this all starts is with Henry Ford, which not surprising
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: that it comes out of Sam anti jew. He got
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: that hatred right off the assembly line, yeah, into the
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: public eye. And so it it started there, and I
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: suppose it just kind of festered for a few decades.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: People didn't think about it much. And then in the
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: nineteen fifties, being religious in this country really fucking took off,
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: which I get. I don't know, maybe people converted during
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: World War two, like yeah, maybe we're all gonna die,
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: we better get right, yeah with the Lord.
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: Well, I think everyone kind of had a lot of
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: like the nineteen fifties, you know, the Korean War aside,
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: was sort of a second era of good feelings where
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: everyone was just kind of like, well, yeah, we were
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: doing Like there was a lot of like you know,
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: the nice American sentiment. The economy was doing well, we
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: had all these new highways and jobs. Yeah, people had
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: families after the war, so it's like, yeah, that's the
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: kind of fucking people that are gonna go be religious.
• 15:35
  Speaker 4: So it kind of texted me just as a natural phenomenon.
• 15:37
  Speaker 5: Yeah, And if you had gone through such a harrowing,
• 15:40
  Speaker 5: harrowing war, whether it was in Europe or in the Pacific,
• 15:42
  Speaker 5: and you got out of there, you'd be like, yeah,
• 15:45
  Speaker 5: I'll thank someone.
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: Well, yeah, right, and you go on to your like
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: you know, union eight hour a day pay for my
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: entire family and their college factory job where I just
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: press a button and make a shitty, you know, toothpaste
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: that campah, and then you and I would kiss the
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: fucking ground every morning to be a white guy. That's
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: just like finding World War two in the fifties and
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: didn't die.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, sure, I've got night aares, but oh my god,
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: have you I've paid this mortgage job in like twelve years. Yeah.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah. That when people want to go back to simpler times,
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: that's the only part I really want, where just having
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: a normal ass job was enough to set you up
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: for life.
• 16:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, just a regular job was enough to live on.
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: Well, there's there's no good jobs left anymore. Like the
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: big pipe dream from from where I'm from is like, oh,
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna get a just I'll work at the UPS
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: center and you work your way up from factory line
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: guy to delivery guy to you know, you get an
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: office job. And they got a really great program. There's
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: officers all over your country. You can live wherever you want.
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, that's not they still make you dress
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: like Steve Irwin to remind you where you.
• 16:42
  Speaker 4: Fucking bred his buddy.
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: They're still like, hey, yeah, we'll give you benefits, but
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: you gotta look like a fucking ass clown giving people
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: boxes and shit from Amazon, Like there are no good
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: jobs and none of these people care about you. There's
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: no fucking It's a decent way to make a living
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: outside of podcasting. In my opinion, absolutely, I think every
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: every podcasting comedy, yeah, just can make a living on
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: the road.
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: Everybody come to La, get into it, get involved. That's
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: what I like.
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: That's what I like about com because I really did
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: think about this a lot when I was younger. It
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: is like, I want a job, but it seems like
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: every job indirectly kills people. So I'm like, well, the
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: jobs that aren't evil.
• 17:17
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it's unless you want to work for like a
• 17:19
  Speaker 5: gigantic corporation. I talk about it with my family because
• 17:23
  Speaker 5: you know, I went to a great school and I
• 17:26
  Speaker 5: still chose comedy after that, you know, and as a pursuit.
• 17:30
  Speaker 5: And my mom said to me, it's like, if you
• 17:33
  Speaker 5: wanted a job at Apple right now, we know people,
• 17:35
  Speaker 5: you could have that. Yeah, And I was like, yeah,
• 17:38
  Speaker 5: but I mean, like I don't. I'm I'm enjoying what
• 17:40
  Speaker 5: I'm doing.
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: Let me just give this.
• 17:42
  Speaker 4: I don't want to work for sky Net.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I quit my day job over ten years ago
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: to just write and do comedy full time and ended
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: up when it comes to writing, I also wanted to
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: not work in an office, and by the time my
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: my writing career with Crack ended, I was in an
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: office and working for the biggest fucking corporation.
• 18:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: Like it was Scripts, which which rumor has it is
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: a CIA front organization. This feels like the right podcast
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: to bring that up on.
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but the crinkling you're hearing is the tinfoil lining
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: Adam's head.
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I would like to believe I got
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: fired by the CIA. Yeah, that's amazing.
• 18:23
  Speaker 4: He's getting too close.
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's all I want in life, to have been
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: secretly fired.
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: You thinking that you got fired by the CIA is
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: like most guys being like I could have gone pro
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: if I didn't tear my ICL when we went to State.
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: I really could have. I mean I had offers, I
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: had scholarships.
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: To Georgia State.
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: I mean I was fucking in there exactly.
• 18:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: So yeah. The other thing about the the nineteen fifties
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: and people turning to religion, I feel like some people
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: need an enemy, like they need something to something to
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: fight against, something to fight for and against. And maybe
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: that's the devil for some people.
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah. So well, yeah, because like in the nineteen fifties,
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: life was so you know, good comparatively to you know,
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: the previous times.
• 19:06
  Speaker 4: It was just like, we got to find a problem here.
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I'd be fucking food, plenty of it,
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: jobs everywhere. I don't know, let's go with the idea
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: of evil. We should be able to chew on that
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: for a bit.
• 19:20
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it's illusory figure that we can never quite find.
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's what lives all of us.
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: That's the real money. Fo. If you can find yourself
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: in illusory figure, you know, be it an ethnic group
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: or a sort of moral failing, then you.
• 19:31
  Speaker 4: Can get people to do anything.
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: And then that's kind of what this turned into in
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: the nineteen fifties. Again relating to Christmas. Even back then
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: there was a movement to quote put Christ back in Christmas,
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: and so that's the next era in history where the
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: War on Christmas pops up again. This was a I
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: think this might have been another pamphlet that was sent
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: out by the National Council of the Churches of Christ
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: in nineteen fifty five. It is expected the public school
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: shall teach that religion is an essential aspect of our
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: national heritage and culture, that this nation subsists under the
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: governance of God, and that our moral and ethical values
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: rest upon religious grounds and sanctions. To do otherwise would
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: be to distort history. No, No, that's not true.
• 20:18
  Speaker 5: No, it's I mean, it makes sense that those people
• 20:21
  Speaker 5: would say that the Rational Council of the Churches of Christ. Yeah,
• 20:26
  Speaker 5: those seem like the type of people who would say,
• 20:29
  Speaker 5: under the governance of God.
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: Were you really got to get down underneath that little
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: shelf at the bottom of your throat.
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: God.
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: Me and my old roommate Opie, we used to just
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: why we used to just when we passed each other
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: in the hall, just go do the God bless America,
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: Goddamn America. This in the Bible. This is my favorite
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: thing to say in that voice.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So what happened when this started coming up was
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: obviously Jewish organizations, all sorts of religious organizations that weren't
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: Christians were like, no, you can't do this. It's separation
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: of church and state. Yeah, it's clearly stated.
• 21:11
  Speaker 5: It's so funny how you know, even like church organizations
• 21:14
  Speaker 5: would be like, yeah, no, we totally believe that. That's
• 21:16
  Speaker 5: what our countries founded on. They're like, but you guys
• 21:19
  Speaker 5: don't pray in school, right right? Yeah, now that was
• 21:23
  Speaker 5: no boundaries.
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: I heard this really good Ronald Reagan book called The
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: Invisible Bridge. It's about him challenging Ford for the nomination
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: in seventy six, and he had this line he would
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: like it said the biggest like applause line in his
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: stump speech, and it was like it was like, you know,
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: maybe if we could get you know, all this eco
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: friendly ed education out of out of schools, we might
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: have some room.
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: To get God back in and then people would just go.
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: On, just go ape shit.
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there was there was a real maybe we.
• 21:49
  Speaker 4: Could get God back in just fucking crushing.
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's like musical parody at the looney bin in
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: fucking Arkansas level, just destruction, like because see the speeches.
• 22:01
  Speaker 4: It's got interesting.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there was a real like Reagan is the one
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: who made conservatism such a big thing. Well in this country,
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: it kind of started with Nixon, but well and William.
• 22:10
  Speaker 5: At Buckley was the person was the driver behind Reagan's
• 22:13
  Speaker 5: right assent to the president.
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that guy, that guy fucking fuck what's his name?
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: I forget it, but he did Nixon Land and Invisible Bridge,
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: and there's one before that. But it's like it kind
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: of goes from Barry Goldwater on to like the modern
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: Republican Party's very interesting about how like Barry Goldwater, you know,
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: lost twice and he was just sort of the martyr
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: for the whole idea and was you know, the guy
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: that sort of kicked it all off.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, this is let's read this quote quick. This is
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: from the John Birch Society. This is still in the
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: fifties nineteen fifty nine.
• 22:43
  Speaker 4: Oh, these concs are still around too.
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the thing. This is kind of the first
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: moment where like a modern kind of right wing movement
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: that we still is around and exists today, takes the
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: mantle and starts running with the War on Christmas. I mean, besides,
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: the Nazis and Ford Nazis are obviously still around, but uh,
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: this is the John Birch Society. One of the techniques
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: now being applied by the Reds to weaken the pillar
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: of religion in our country is the drive to take
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: Christ out of Christmas, to denude the events of its
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: religious meaning. The un fanatics launched their assault on Christmas
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: in nineteen fifty eight, but too late to get very
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: far before the Holy Day was at hand. They are
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: already busy, however, at this moment on efforts to poison
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: the nineteen fifty nine Christmas season with their high pressure propaganda.
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: What they now want to put over on the American
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: people is simply this department stores throughout the country are
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: to utilize UN symbols and emblems as Christmas decorations.
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: What yeah, yeah, that's a what a nutter. That's a
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: bit that's a bit bit much. Yeah, it's I don't know,
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: it's fucking good. A lot of times with people, it's
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: just like you can't they did the shit with this
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: is like you can't argue with their facts, but you
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: can argue with their conclusion. It's like, well, yeah, they're
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: secularizing the holiday season and it's a fucking and then
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: you got.
• 24:00
  Speaker 4: So yeah, yeah they are, you know, and then and
• 24:02
  Speaker 4: they're like they're.
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: Doing it because and you're like, oh no, no, no, no no,
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: I was with like so like they'll they'll fuck it,
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: they'll talk and they'll be reasonable for you know, thirty
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: five seconds. Yeah, and then you're kind of listening, going okay,
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: it seems like you're just saying what's going on? And
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: then like when they start fucking piecing it together with
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: whatever narrative they're trying to build, that's where you have
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: to like be a discerning you know, consumer of information.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Absolutely.
• 24:24
  Speaker 5: What boggles me is so much is that these people
• 24:28
  Speaker 5: feel like they're the arbiters of morality. WHEREA it's like
• 24:31
  Speaker 5: I I celebrate Christmas in Easter, you know, I celebrated
• 24:35
  Speaker 5: with my family growing up, but it's not there's no
• 24:37
  Speaker 5: there's no religion attached to it. You know, we don't
• 24:40
  Speaker 5: pray before dinner. You know, there's we never went to
• 24:42
  Speaker 5: church on any of these holidays. It was just a
• 24:44
  Speaker 5: reason to spend time with family. And so although we
• 24:48
  Speaker 5: were celebrating Christian holidays, you know, it's very secular in that.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: It's like they feel like you you.
• 24:55
  Speaker 5: Can't have morally by without praising Jesus and God.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: Right, It's like.
• 25:01
  Speaker 5: You can, you can have these secular, secularized hall you know,
• 25:06
  Speaker 5: you know, holidays like Christmas, but it's like you can't
• 25:09
  Speaker 5: get morality from anywhere else. It seems really insecure on
• 25:12
  Speaker 5: their part to just so befuddled by all this.
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like, I really think one of the most important
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: things in life is to sort of synthesize your own
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: kind of beliefs, because it's an easy thing to do
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: to hear someone say something smart that resonates with you
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: and go, I'll just go with whatever that guy thinks. Right,
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: And there are people like I haven't read all that
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: Jordan Peterson shit, but it's like it seems like pretty
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: garden variety, like fucking yeah, clean your room and start
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: the day a little earlier, maybe do some light exercise
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: in the morning and you'll and you'll have some momentum
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: to start your day. And people got like, yeah, you
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: know I started doing that, I felt a lot better.
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: And furthermore, women are cancer you know, like cause like
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: you can.
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: Ah, you got me on the fourth point, damn it.
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Like like I know people in my life that
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: have given me tremendous advice and then also tried to
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: give me to start some horrible small business. You know.
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: It's just like you have to sort of be discerning
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: because a lot of people want that dad figure. I
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: talk about a lot on here where they're just want
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: some guy to like just let them know what they
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: have to think that it exactly yeah, yeah, that's that's
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: like the old big Bill Hicks bit about the bill O'Reilly.
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: I think it's one of one of those like conservative
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: guys just still runs like do you need a dad?
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: Like it's like people just need dads.
• 26:13
  Speaker 4: So I don't know, you gotta fucking just be discerning.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And it what all of this boils down to
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: in every one of these cases so far, it's either
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: it's mostly just separation of church and state, it's not.
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: And and when.
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: People that's like all the fucking first like people taking
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: issue with like we had three good ideas.
• 26:30
  Speaker 4: In the Constitution and well let's get those yeah.
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and with Christmas, like it's it feels kind of
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: hypocritical to me to be mad that it's being secularized
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: now that people are saying, well, let's say happy Holidays,
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: when like were their presence involved in the initial like
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: celebration of Christmas. It's been commercialized for a long time.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: And like, if you're devout enough to care about people
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: still saying christ and Christmas, you should also be mad
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: that I can buy a fucking PlayStation for super cheap
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: at Christmas.
• 27:07
  Speaker 5: Yeah, if you're a true Christian, you don't like rich people, right, Yeah,
• 27:11
  Speaker 5: you don't have any savings. You give all your money
• 27:13
  Speaker 5: to those in need. And if you're like a fundamentalist,
• 27:17
  Speaker 5: if you're if you are, I mean, if you are
• 27:18
  Speaker 5: a Christian to the letter of their doctrine, then you
• 27:23
  Speaker 5: know or and you actually follow what Jesus claimed to
• 27:26
  Speaker 5: put out there is like you would be you would
• 27:28
  Speaker 5: have no interest in all this like Black Friday shopping
• 27:31
  Speaker 5: and what these companies, these ye money hungry companies are doing.
• 27:35
  Speaker 4: You'd be you'd find it crass.
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and you associate yourself with.
• 27:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and you meet those kind of people and they're
• 27:42
  Speaker 4: nice as ship.
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: They're really like, you know you like I've I've met
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: people like that where they're just like, oh, yeah.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: Whatever it is, dope Christians.
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they're fine, you know, Yeah, get along a bunch.
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: I live next door to them, and my parents live
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: next door to this. We live next door to the
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: fucking Flanders family. And they're just like they're always like, hey,
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: so your car lights were on. Just thought i'd let
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: you know, just like the most helpful fucking people, you know,
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: Like one time my house was flooding and like I
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: didn't know what the fuck to do. I was like fifteen.
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: I went over there, the guy Dwayne gives me the
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: tool I need to go turn the water off in
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: the front, and just they're just great neighbors. And they're
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: not lovely people, you know.
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: They white.
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they're shockingly Dwayne. Yeah, wow, yeah, wow, Dwayne, believe
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: it or not, Caucasian.
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: I don't know how it worked out, but that is impressive.
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: So we were just talking about Reagan and conservatism, and
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: one thing that's really interesting about the key moments in
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: the War on Christmas is the entirety of the eighties
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: when America in general, like people some I think people
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: sometimes forget Reagan won forty nine states in nineteen eighty four.
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I might, What what did fucking got McGovern win?
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: He just won, like Mondale won, uh Minnesota because that's
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: where he was.
• 28:53
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, he just got one.
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: And my dad even voted for Reagan and his job
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: was shipped out of the country like shit within a
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: year and a half of Reagan getting re elected.
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: That was a good old Dennis Miller bit when he
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: was talking about one of those Reagan elections, He's like,
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: his opponent got a three electoral votes. Man, that's only
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: three more than me. Oh my gosh, shit, that's a
• 29:16
  Speaker 3: really good how about that bag?
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, it was a decisive win. I'm old enough
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: to remember election night in nineteen eighty four. Yeah, and
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: I remember watching that election and the country was overwhelmingly
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: in favor of Reagan, and that meant the country was
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: overwhelmingly in favor of conservatism in general.
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: Because he had swag. Dude, that's it all comes down
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: to swag.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he had that actor confidence.
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: Bro.
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: Do you remember there's a fucking debate where he was
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: kind of like he was just he was a little
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: off and just kind of forgetful and like Alzheimer's, Yeah, yeah,
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: he was fucking he was fucking it up. And then
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: the next one, he you know, he just he just
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: like got his fucking guys together and run with some
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: one liners. You know, He's like, I planned to show
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: my youth full vigor in this campaign, and I'm going
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: to old thirteen states, you know, and uh yeah, he's
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: he's like a good job old You're you know Jack Kennedy,
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: the You're no Jack Kennedy. I you know, no, You're
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: You're no Thomas Jefferson.
• 30:12
  Speaker 4: I knew Thomas Jefferson.
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: You know, just like people just wrote him a bunch
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: of like fucking you know, like the joke book ass
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: I'm old jokes and everyone was like, oh, but he knows,
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: so it's fine. Of course we'd have this senile, evil,
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: fucking money grubbing asshole run the country for another four years.
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: He was such a fucking monster. Oh he's a goddamn Yeah.
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: Like the stuff he did, I wish that.
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: I wish that fucking uh yeah, that taxi driver guy
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: had had bought a real gun.
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like the stuff he did, especially with the AIDS crisis.
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: That's if I could go back in time, I would
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: just leave an envelope with six hundred dollars on that
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: guy's porch half at.
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah that like the AIDS, Yeah, not addressing that it
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: was a thing. They didn't use the word AIDS until
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: like eighty seven. Oh yeah, and then in.
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: Then in that press conference, I think the press secretary,
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: like the whole thrust of it was like, yeah, that's
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: why you shouldn't be gay. Yeah, shit, Like it was
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: just very dismissive.
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, someone asked him about AIDS and the guy was like,
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: why are you asking about AIDS? Larry. Yeah, And it's
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: like Jesus, because like five thousand people died last year
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: by that point. Yeah, it's killing people by the truckload. Yeah.
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: If anything else and killed that many people in a year.
• 31:20
  Speaker 3: You'd think they want to talk about it more because
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: they did invent it. You know, if I invented AIDS,
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: I'd be proud. I would want it.
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: I'd be proud of your achievements.
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: I'd never shut up about it.
• 31:29
  Speaker 5: My son will not stop talking about his new toy
• 31:33
  Speaker 5: that he made.
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: I just go to the store and shit with a hat.
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: It's like AIDS established nineteen eighty two, you know, and
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: I'd just be like, oh this, Yeah, well I was
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: on the I was on the dev team.
• 31:42
  Speaker 4: You know, I did some I did some work.
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: That into a whole clothing line. Yeah. Yeah, that was
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: Silicon Valley. Before Silicon Valley.
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: It was Yeah, I just did to kill black people
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: and gays small only.
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: That was dark.
• 31:58
  Speaker 4: You'll grow into it.
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: So let's talk about the Supreme Court in the eighties,
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: because I think with all the talk of how conservative
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: the country was in the eighties, it's really interesting the
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: decisions the Supreme Court made throughout that decade.
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, in the eighties with head Justice Mark Mothersbaw, with Divo,
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: who had some interesting opinions on personal property, on search rights,
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: that it made a lot of consequential rulings.
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: In nineteen eighty, the Supreme Court ruled that posting the
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: Ten Commandments in public schools is unconstitution short front constitutional.
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: I do wish. I hope they have a whole lingo
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: in the Supreme Court where they just.
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like, yeah, we're thinking obscene seeing you know, that's unconstitution.
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: Nineteen eighty five, they ruled that Alabama's Moment of Silence
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: statute was unconstitutionally biased in favor of prayer. I don't
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: know what that means, but apparently war on Christmas types
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: didn't like it. Maybe seven, they ruled against the teaching
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: of creation science alongside evolution in school curriculums. And in
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: nineteen ninety nine or nineteen eighty nine they ruled that
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: it's unconstitutional to erect a Nativity scene on public property.
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: And I think that, on the one hand, that is surprising,
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: but I bet a lot of it has to do
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: with how conservative the country became during that time and
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: people being feeling emboldened to push lawsuits like this. Yeah, totally.
• 33:31
  Speaker 5: I it's it's so strange that people were like, we
• 33:34
  Speaker 5: need to push religion and all these other places. Like
• 33:37
  Speaker 5: you know, people, if you want to go somewhere to
• 33:40
  Speaker 5: learn something, you go to the place where they have experts.
• 33:43
  Speaker 5: If you want to go to right, If you want
• 33:45
  Speaker 5: to learn about math and science and grammar, you go
• 33:48
  Speaker 5: to school where they have experts who teach you those things.
• 33:50
  Speaker 5: If you want to learn about this this God and
• 33:53
  Speaker 5: this Jesus that people are talking about you to the
• 33:55
  Speaker 5: you go to the place where people have, you know,
• 33:58
  Speaker 5: their experts. You go, you go to a church, Jesus school,
• 34:01
  Speaker 5: go to Jesus school. You know all my Chinese friends
• 34:03
  Speaker 5: want when they wanted to learn Mandarin, they went to
• 34:06
  Speaker 5: Chinese school because they didn't have that in the school.
• 34:08
  Speaker 5: To go to where those experts are, it just seems
• 34:10
  Speaker 5: so strange that like it's like, no, we need to
• 34:11
  Speaker 5: we need to put this everywhere.
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: That's like right, I don't And especially with church too.
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: I mean most churches have some form of Bible study.
• 34:19
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and if you go to towns outside of major
• 34:23
  Speaker 5: metropolitan areas, there's churches everywhere.
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: They're all churches everywhere.
• 34:28
  Speaker 4: Oh for sure. Yeah, I mean that's what I want.
• 34:30
  Speaker 4: I was a kid. I was afraid of dying, so
• 34:32
  Speaker 4: I was like, maybe I'll believe in God.
• 34:33
  Speaker 3: And I went to church like twice, and I was like,
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: this is the dumbest shit I've ever I hate these people.
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: I'm bored.
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: I went to a I've told the story a few times.
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: I went to a non denominational church in Masomane, Wisconsin
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: in my early twenty yees.
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: Mazo many that sounds like a brand of cigarettes. They
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: only sell in Indian reservations.
• 34:56
  Speaker 4: It was next to these Mazo Maan's. It's like Baba
• 34:58
  Speaker 4: Hare and Fiba.
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: Class was next to Black Earth, Wisconsin, which was called
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: that because the soil was because very dark black.
• 35:05
  Speaker 3: I thought it was because Public Enemy moved there and
• 35:07
  Speaker 3: they were trying to start their town.
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: But I was working this overnight job at a grocery
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: store with a dude I called Italian Neil, who had
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: moved from Connecticut, uh to the middle of Wisconsin and
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: he just like lost his fucking mind. But he moved
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: there to get married in his wife's family, who they
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: lived with, was super religious, and we would work overnight
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: and he would go to church, but he would also
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: make these huge Italian feasts every Sunday.
• 35:40
  Speaker 5: He wasn't even Italian that he just useless like a
• 35:42
  Speaker 5: Japanese guy. He was just like he was very Italian
• 35:45
  Speaker 5: Italian as fuck.
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: He was super Italian.
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: One of those guys who's like so Italian it's offensive.
• 35:51
  Speaker 3: You're like, you're you're enforcing so many stereotypes. Kind you
• 35:54
  Speaker 3: got to be a bad look.
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: It feels it feels like a lot there's a lot
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: of Italian.
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: It's just overwhelming where you're just like, well you see
• 36:00
  Speaker 3: a picture of them, You're like, is that garlic I
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: smell like?
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: And to to get to that feast, I would have
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: to go to church with him. So we would get
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: high after work because we worked overnight. We would just
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: get super high and then go to church and sit
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: in the balcony and be all weed paranoid and think
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: every sermon was about us. It was actually kind of fun.
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: And at one point they asked people if they wanted
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: to be saved, and the thing they pushed in this
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: church was once you're saved, it can't be undone, like
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: nothing you do. Like I could fucking murder Connor right now,
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: and according to this church, I'm saved. And I was like,
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: fucking like, why wouldn't you sign up for that insurance policy?
• 36:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: Like, And so I went down and they we we
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: did the talk, and the guy was like, you're saved now,
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: and I was like tight. And then I think I
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: went to that church three or four more times, and
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: I've never been to church again.
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: Well, you got to get you It's when you go
• 36:56
  Speaker 3: to the jiffulube and you're like, I'm gonna get the
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: good shit.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: This time.
• 36:58
  Speaker 4: I got ten thousand, I'm saved, so I got you know, yeah,
• 37:01
  Speaker 4: I just.
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: I just did that at the car wash because I
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: haven't been able to drive my car forever and I
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: finally can again. So I went and got it washed,
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: and I was like, give me that, give me that
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: clay wax.
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: Yeahs, bitch, we're getting detail on these rims.
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: Hell yeah uh so so yeah, that again, it's all
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: that stuff that happens in the eighties. That's not a
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: war on Christmas. That is, like, just because Christmas is
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: when you roll out all your most religious items to
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: display them to people, that doesn't mean it's a war
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: on Christmas by enforcing separation at church and state. But
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: somehow throughout all of this, the actual term the war
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: on Christmas, no one managed to coin that term until
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: until the year two thousand, which seems weird to me.
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: It seems like a long time. Yeah, it seems like
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: someone would have come up with it.
• 37:53
  Speaker 5: It was actually, well, there's already a precedent for the
• 37:55
  Speaker 5: war on some idea, you know, yeah, war on crime,
• 37:59
  Speaker 5: the war on you know, this coincides with the war
• 38:02
  Speaker 5: on terror. This was a a well, a comfortable trope
• 38:06
  Speaker 5: that the country was in by the time this was
• 38:09
  Speaker 5: properly coined.
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I think the war on probably comes from
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: the War on drugs, right, which was I believe so I.
• 38:19
  Speaker 5: Can't think of any time before that where we just
• 38:22
  Speaker 5: had a war on an idea as a as a country.
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: We won the war on drugs, right, I think, So
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: declaring I feel like it was a tie. I feel
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: like I'm winning the war on drugs every morning when
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: I wake up.
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: Hell yeah, yeah, dog. Declaring war on concepts is really
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: where it's at because it's like the jurisdiction is.
• 38:41
  Speaker 4: Limitless, like terror.
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: I don't know. Yeah, if it declared war and the
• 38:45
  Speaker 3: guy that wrote saw if you really want to be
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: creative about it, it's.
• 38:48
  Speaker 5: About as effective as the guy's shadow boxing in the
• 38:50
  Speaker 5: produce aisle at three am at Ralphs. Oh yeah, like
• 38:53
  Speaker 5: he's fighting a ghost and he wins. When he says
• 38:56
  Speaker 5: he wins. We must go to the same Ralphs because
• 38:58
  Speaker 5: I know that Glendale. That Elps' is a fucking halfway
• 39:03
  Speaker 5: house with vegetables in it.
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: That place is awesome. I'm talking about the rock and
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: roll one. Oh okay, that one's great.
• 39:10
  Speaker 5: I saw Angeline, but it makes me believe that every
• 39:14
  Speaker 5: grocery store in the Greater Los Angeles area has their
• 39:17
  Speaker 5: own shadow boxer.
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 39:19
  Speaker 5: That shows up at about you know, twelve forty five
• 39:22
  Speaker 5: in the in the evening.
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and they have like a union where there's like
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: just a dispatch station. It's like, are you kidding me?
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: State or Brothers in Van Eyes for this money? Oh?
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: Fuck yourself.
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: I like being around pears, Yeah, I want to. I
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: want the good ones, some of them Chinese ones. Those
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: are good pairs.
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah. Iko Tanaka got me on that ship Asian Pars.
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: I did a gig with her and she was like,
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: we have to stop at store. If I don't eat pear,
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: I died. That's if that's it sounds like as I'm
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: doing a twenty percent less racist.
• 39:52
  Speaker 4: He's the funniest bitch over.
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: It's good for me.
• 39:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, Yeah, sure I got it.
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: The last person I saw shadow by boxing was Damon Wayans.
• 40:02
  Speaker 5: He did Junior or Senior.
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: Well.
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: I was producing a show at Westside Comedy Theater a
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: few years ago and Damon Wayans dropped in. He dropped
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: in as if he was in nineteen eighty seven, walked
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: through a door and it was the stage in twenty fourteen. Yeah,
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: because his set was just it was the most homophobic, awful,
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: Like we took a picture at one point and he
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: yelled at the guy and was like, are you taking
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: video to ruin my career? It's like, are you.
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: Trying to come down here and blow off some Steve
• 40:36
  Speaker 3: and tell you how I really feel about these swishy
• 40:38
  Speaker 3: guys out there wearing their pink pants? Go fell yeah,
• 40:40
  Speaker 3: pull them up.
• 40:41
  Speaker 5: And meanwhile he's dressed like Paul Mooney and has material
• 40:44
  Speaker 5: that's a defensive his ednymoch I'm.
• 40:46
  Speaker 3: Just imagining he's doing Dennis Leurs act. How about coffee
• 40:48
  Speaker 3: flavored coffee? I'm a dad, you know.
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he and he bombed pretty hard. And then he
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: came back two weeks later and before his set was
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: fucking shadow boxing in the corner and came out and
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: fucked murdered. Oh. I mean, maybe that's what he needed.
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: He forgot to shadow box.
• 41:04
  Speaker 3: I gotta get the blood flowing. There's nothing funnier. And
• 41:07
  Speaker 3: I've someone tweeted this a long title ago, but I
• 41:09
  Speaker 3: think about all the time when someone limbers up right
• 41:11
  Speaker 3: before they go bomb, you know, was stretching like yeah, yeah,
• 41:14
  Speaker 3: I want to make sure. Oh that's right.
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: I gotta make sure my hamstrings loose for this bomb.
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: So yeah, this term it was coined by conservative author
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: Peter Brimelo, who is a forefather of our current white
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: nationalist political movement, the alt right, if you will, He
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: used the phrase in a December two thousand website post.
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: Bill O'Reilly called it a national emergency in two thousand
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: and four. And then this guy named John Gibson writes
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: a book called The War on Christmas, How the liberal
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: plot to ban the sacred Christian holiday is worse than
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: you thought. Jesus A long title. It's a very long title.
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: Is that two books? And they this book was featured
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: on a Fox News segment and it actually dealt more
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: with stuff like people thinking hanging a picture of Santa
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: Claus was unconstitutional when it's like, no, it's not that.
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: It's not a war on Christmas, it's a it's it's
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: church in state.
• 42:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's of course on constitutional because Santa's property of
• 42:14
  Speaker 3: Coca Cola. And you got exactly fucking those polar bears
• 42:16
  Speaker 3: want the rent.
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: But Bill O'Reilly took the fact that this book was
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: published and just kind of ran in a war on Christmas,
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: angle with it, and what's really interesting. At one point
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: he remember he was asking calling for boycotts throughout most
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: of the mid two thousands. If you didn't agree with
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: George Bush, he was going to ask people to boycott you.
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: We need to boycott Steve in Minnesota. Yeah, France. Remember
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: he wanted us to boycott France.
• 42:48
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, because.
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: They they started calling like French fry. Like people started fries,
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: freedom fries.
• 42:56
  Speaker 3: Because it enjoyed the just you know, the United States
• 43:01
  Speaker 3: and England kind.
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: Of fucking Australia, I think a little Yeah, there's like six.
• 43:05
  Speaker 4: Guys, you know, Yeah, that's all we have.
• 43:10
  Speaker 5: And everyone else's it only got two cities at one point, he.
• 43:14
  Speaker 3: Most of them are full of people having petrol. Not
• 43:17
  Speaker 3: exactly fist class troops. We'll do our best.
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: He uh. He launched a naughty list of retailers that
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: should be boycotting.
• 43:26
  Speaker 4: How Christmas like of him. Excellent branding, yeah.
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: For sure, including Sears, Kmart, Cole's, Target, Walmart, and Costco.
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: No one fucking shops at Coal's.
• 43:35
  Speaker 5: I've been hoping that Cole and Kenneth Cole would merge
• 43:39
  Speaker 5: to just become Kenneth Cole's. Oh yeah, I think I
• 43:42
  Speaker 5: think that that might bring a little more. That would
• 43:44
  Speaker 5: be cool, more shops.
• 43:45
  Speaker 3: One of my bits in my head was whenever I'd
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: see a piece of Calvin Klein stuff with a c
• 43:49
  Speaker 3: K monogram on it, I just imagine Louis c K
• 43:51
  Speaker 3: wearing it.
• 43:52
  Speaker 4: In like a black and white like.
• 43:54
  Speaker 5: Mike Alvins casually his tummies just like brimming. Yeah, it's
• 44:00
  Speaker 5: just always every time I see it, I think about it.
• 44:02
  Speaker 5: It makes me that's a good inside your head bit.
• 44:04
  Speaker 5: If you guys want to enjoy that one, it's to
• 44:06
  Speaker 5: go ahead.
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: Him just posing with the Kardashians. Yeah, yeah, exactly, it's
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: just him, but they make.
• 44:11
  Speaker 3: It look like they get like they have Blake Griffin
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: or something, but it's just Bluey being fat as shit.
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: I like the kmart's on this list. There's a kmart
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: walking distance for me, and every time I pass it,
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, still a kmart here. Oh they make
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: that model.
• 44:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah, the blockbuster of.
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: You underestimate how much shit they don't have. Until he
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: came inside a kmart, I went there looking for sooux
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: ve'd bags, which every you do, you're a department store.
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: You gotta have a suv'd bag.
• 44:40
  Speaker 4: What's a seu viede bag.
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: Well, it's like it's kind of like pressure cooking, but
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: it's a little bit different. It's it's a method of
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: slow cooking that just uses really just kind of warm
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: water and the motion of the water to cook food
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: and then you take it out and see it finish
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: it on the stovetop or in the oven and it
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: cooks meat fucking per Oh you put them in these
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: bags and that's what the super interesting. And uh I
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: needed some and I went to Kmart none they had
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: souvides but no souvide bags, Like that's that's that's an
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: oversight for a retailer. Yeah, I mean boycott them for that.
• 45:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I agree.
• 45:15
  Speaker 6: And aside aside from and they didn't have typewriter Rivens,
• 45:18
  Speaker 6: what the fuck am I in here for? Aside from Costco,
• 45:21
  Speaker 6: Like most of these stores are you know, economically considered
• 45:25
  Speaker 6: inferior goods. So I mean it's it's gonna be places
• 45:27
  Speaker 6: that like a lot of people who are not doing
• 45:30
  Speaker 6: well will shop at. But you know, if they're people
• 45:32
  Speaker 6: who are also not doing well and they also happen
• 45:34
  Speaker 6: to be you know, super Christian or super right wing.
• 45:37
  Speaker 6: You know, it's it's really gonna, you know, be a
• 45:39
  Speaker 6: moral dilemma for them.
• 45:41
  Speaker 4: Right yeah.
• 45:42
  Speaker 3: And because they have more money, because they sort of
• 45:44
  Speaker 3: play the game, you know, and a lot of people
• 45:46
  Speaker 3: just don't really want to. I'm one of them. I
• 45:48
  Speaker 3: don't like the rules that you've put into play. I
• 45:51
  Speaker 3: would I would gladly, you know, burn my Social Security
• 45:54
  Speaker 3: card tomorrow if I could. I don't like the that
• 45:56
  Speaker 3: I had that I was just born into this and
• 45:58
  Speaker 3: I have to put up with it. But it's like, yeah,
• 45:59
  Speaker 3: they're just like goodie two shoes. They're just like, well, yeah,
• 46:02
  Speaker 3: then I'll know, I'll show up early to work so
• 46:03
  Speaker 3: I can make nine to fifty an hour. And then
• 46:06
  Speaker 3: they do that for thirty five years, and then they've
• 46:07
  Speaker 3: all of a sudden they got all the fucking money.
• 46:09
  Speaker 3: You know. That's there. They're the people that can make
• 46:11
  Speaker 3: the decisions to keep these kind of places, you know,
• 46:13
  Speaker 3: the humming through yea time.
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: Uh. And it seems like his boycott kind of worked
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: because not long after that boycott, Federated department stores officially
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: encouraged employees to Greek customers with merry Christmas instead of
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: Happy Holidays, and most of the department stores that he
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: called for boycotts on also did the same thing shortly thereafter,
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: at which point he declared victory and then kept saying
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: there was a war on Christmas for like another ten
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: years after that. Yeah.
• 46:43
  Speaker 5: The thing though, that about department store saying Merry.
• 46:47
  Speaker 2: Christmas, I know, like it's I've said that.
• 46:49
  Speaker 5: It's so it's important for companies to secularize because they
• 46:53
  Speaker 5: want people's business. But if I'm at J C. Penny,
• 46:56
  Speaker 5: for example, and they say Merry Christmas as I'm leaving
• 47:00
  Speaker 5: the cash register and I'm not super Christian.
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: I don't. It doesn't offend me greatly. It's just like,
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: just don't. Yeah, I don't.
• 47:08
  Speaker 4: I don't give it fuck Like.
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: I'm not offended whatsoever. Yeah, I don't care.
• 47:13
  Speaker 5: And I think I'm sure there's plenty of you know,
• 47:15
  Speaker 5: Jewish people and Muslim people who also don't care. They're
• 47:17
  Speaker 5: just buying things like, okay, that's their deal. They don't
• 47:20
  Speaker 5: know who I am. Fine, they don't need to have
• 47:22
  Speaker 5: a conversation about it. I'm just saying, just don't tell
• 47:25
  Speaker 5: my children as they're going through school that evolution is
• 47:29
  Speaker 5: not real.
• 47:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's that's much more substantial. Yeah, I got
• 47:33
  Speaker 3: a peep, But just do it without me. I'll be
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: right back for it.
• 47:35
  Speaker 5: It's it blows my mind that you know that also
• 47:40
  Speaker 5: that people get offended when people don't say Mary Christmas,
• 47:43
  Speaker 5: and that people do get offended when people say Mary Christmas.
• 47:46
  Speaker 5: It's like, you the best you can do. It's just like, hey,
• 47:48
  Speaker 5: that's not my thing, but good on you. Yeah, and
• 47:51
  Speaker 5: I I appreciate the sentiment. Sure you wish that I
• 47:54
  Speaker 5: have a happy December twenty fifth.
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I wonder pretty regularly how many people are actually
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: getting offended opposed to it being like one person makes
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: a YouTube video, then that YouTube video gets played on
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: Fox News and now people are offended. Yeah, but before that, Like,
• 48:12
  Speaker 2: I think this is a case where a lot of
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: people need to be told that they should be offended
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: before they actually are. Yeah.
• 48:18
  Speaker 5: And if you're an immigrant who's listening, or you're the
• 48:21
  Speaker 5: son or daughter of immigrants and you are, you'd want
• 48:24
  Speaker 5: to feel like you belong and you feel like your
• 48:26
  Speaker 5: culture has not been accepted, then I can understand as
• 48:31
  Speaker 5: best I can understand. But like, right, I also feel
• 48:34
  Speaker 5: like there's a contingent of people who are immigrants who
• 48:36
  Speaker 5: are very eager to assimilate, and they want to celebrate
• 48:40
  Speaker 5: Christmas because that's it's more of an American holiday than
• 48:42
  Speaker 5: it is even a Christian holiday, right, This is a
• 48:44
  Speaker 5: consumer thing now, Yeah.
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 48:46
  Speaker 5: My buddy's one of my oldest friends, is from His
• 48:49
  Speaker 5: parents are from Iran. They came to America in the
• 48:53
  Speaker 5: seventies or eighties, and they and he's you know, we
• 48:57
  Speaker 5: grew up going to school together. And his family's technically
• 49:00
  Speaker 5: I mean by like their heritage and everything, right, but
• 49:03
  Speaker 5: they always had a fucking Christmas tree.
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: I know atheists who by Christmas tree. It's fun. It's
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: fun to decorate a tree sometimes, Yeah, it's fun to
• 49:11
  Speaker 2: It's fun to give give gifts to people you care about.
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: And that's all I think.
• 49:15
  Speaker 3: That's all that I want with you on the tree
• 49:17
  Speaker 3: is not the gifts. I don't I don't think you
• 49:18
  Speaker 3: should show people too much effect.
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: It's that you know, and I know you're not as
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: much of an affection guy.
• 49:23
  Speaker 4: If I like a mouse to cookie Stewart.
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: I like getting each a man to rap gift. Yes, yeah, exactly.
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: And he was wealthy for a lifetime.
• 49:31
  Speaker 3: No, I mean the answer again again with most like
• 49:33
  Speaker 3: dumb fights, is the answer should be who gives this ship?
• 49:37
  Speaker 5: And I think, yeah, I feel like if you were
• 49:38
  Speaker 5: to talk to most of these like non Bill O'Reilly
• 49:41
  Speaker 5: type and Christmas, even the ones that foxers, I'm sure
• 49:44
  Speaker 5: plenty of them don't give a ship. No, they're just
• 49:46
  Speaker 5: they're handed a memo of like, here's what you gotta say,
• 49:49
  Speaker 5: and but and it does.
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: But then there's people who are who believe them, they
• 49:53
  Speaker 2: believe the rhetorica.
• 49:54
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and they you know, they're kind of like the
• 49:56
  Speaker 5: people you're talking about earlier Connor, who were just like,
• 49:58
  Speaker 5: well this is what this guy or gal says.
• 49:59
  Speaker 4: I'm just gonna blind yeah.
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: Into the night.
• 50:02
  Speaker 3: Well, and you think, and it's exciting to think that
• 50:05
  Speaker 3: there's someone out there who's out to get you. Yeah,
• 50:08
  Speaker 3: that's a motivating force.
• 50:10
  Speaker 2: Because the euro complex a yeah.
• 50:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because even if you're casually Christian, you're just like, well,
• 50:14
  Speaker 3: they're coming after Well, my family's been all the way
• 50:17
  Speaker 3: since the mayfly, you know, and it's just like shut
• 50:20
  Speaker 3: your fucking mouth, like what doesn't matter.
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: It's a wedge issue. Yeah, it's the kind of thing
• 50:25
  Speaker 2: you can rile up. It's like abortion, Like it's a
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: thing you can insert into the discussion to rile people
• 50:32
  Speaker 2: up in a specific way for mostly for votes.
• 50:34
  Speaker 4: What's that great?
• 50:35
  Speaker 3: Uh? You know the politics is the entertainment division of
• 50:38
  Speaker 3: the military industrial complex.
• 50:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah, the Hunter S.
• 50:41
  Speaker 3: Thompson thing, which is one of those guys where he
• 50:43
  Speaker 3: says some good quotes, but you feel like a douche
• 50:45
  Speaker 3: every time you quote them.
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 50:46
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, But yeah, it is just like the six things
• 50:49
  Speaker 3: where it's like, other than that, we're on more or
• 50:51
  Speaker 3: less on the same team about the capital gains tax
• 50:53
  Speaker 3: and you know all these things. Yeah, but it's like, yeah,
• 50:56
  Speaker 3: let's just uh, I don't know, you guys take this
• 50:58
  Speaker 3: side of that, one will take that, and we'll just
• 51:00
  Speaker 3: duke it out. You know.
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, certainly Hunter S. Thompson, What a dick that guy was.
• 51:05
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you know he killed He called his wife
• 51:08
  Speaker 2: when he killed himself. He was like she heard it.
• 51:10
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, have you ever heard that suicide note? Yeah,
• 51:13
  Speaker 3: one of the best suicide notes.
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 51:15
  Speaker 3: It's yeah, football season's over. It's a quick read. It's
• 51:19
  Speaker 3: like a paragraph. Go go check it out if you haven't.
• 51:21
  Speaker 3: It's good stuff.
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: Okay, I get it. I'm a football fan. So uh,
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: let's close on a really interesting side note in all
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: of this, there is one time throughout history when Christmas
• 51:34
  Speaker 2: was actually banned, and it was banned by Christians. In
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: sixteen fifty nine, lawmakers of the Massachusetts Bay Colony issue
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: to the Bay, shout out to the Bay. They brought
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: us Bay seasoning. Thankful for that.
• 51:49
  Speaker 3: Probably big fan of their leaves.
• 51:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, issued in edict out.
• 51:54
  Speaker 3: White too Short is also from Massachusetts Bay. Disposed with
• 51:59
  Speaker 3: the regular ass and the dollar.
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: Time Yeah no dollars sign yeh uh. They issued an
• 52:03
  Speaker 2: edict outlawing the observance of Christmas and other quote superstitious holidays. Yeah,
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: Christmas is a pagan holiday. Yeah yeah, they were, They
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: were Puritans and they co opted, they took it.
• 52:15
  Speaker 3: You know. It's like it's like when coffee Bean started
• 52:16
  Speaker 3: doing the flat white. They're just trying to get in
• 52:18
  Speaker 3: on it and make a buck.
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: They they found things like feasting in gift giving to
• 52:23
  Speaker 2: be ungodly, so they banned Christmas. It lasts. That ban
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: lasted twenty two years, but Christmas survived still a thing.
• 52:31
  Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, And if anyone has been known to be
• 52:34
  Speaker 5: a party pooper in America, it was the Puritan settlers
• 52:37
  Speaker 5: in the sixteen hundreds. Those people left England because they
• 52:41
  Speaker 5: thought the English were too too lollygag, too crazy with
• 52:46
  Speaker 5: their like they were like, oh, we're gonna you're gonna
• 52:49
  Speaker 5: allow divorce.
• 52:50
  Speaker 2: Fuck that.
• 52:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 52:51
  Speaker 4: Yeah, they're like America's ours.
• 52:53
  Speaker 3: They're like, it's nine o'clock, all right, that party better
• 52:55
  Speaker 3: get pretty quiet over there.
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: Don't make me clack my buckle shoes over to your room. Yeah.
• 53:00
  Speaker 3: I never lived in a dorm, so I couldn't. That
• 53:02
  Speaker 3: was a good sensory detail. Yeah, I didn't either. Yeah,
• 53:06
  Speaker 3: they didn't have dorms at the community college I went
• 53:08
  Speaker 3: to for two years, and I was shocked.
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: Nor the one I went to for a semester. I
• 53:14
  Speaker 2: lived for one semester. It's fine. Communal bathrooms were not
• 53:17
  Speaker 2: really my favorite. Fuck that noise. I would not Yeah,
• 53:20
  Speaker 2: I would not be able to do it. I don't
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: really want to hear someone shower if I can help it. No, Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: I don't want to share a shower with that many people.
• 53:28
  Speaker 2: Oh fuck it. That's why I don't go to the
• 53:30
  Speaker 2: gym showers.
• 53:33
  Speaker 5: That's not why I'm glad.
• 53:36
  Speaker 3: I never showed at the gym in my life. I
• 53:38
  Speaker 3: probably never will.
• 53:38
  Speaker 2: I actually have a lot of times because I used to,
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: like when I was working day jobs, I would stop
• 53:44
  Speaker 2: on the way home go to the gym, and I
• 53:45
  Speaker 2: didn't want to fucking drive home all gross. Yeah, Or
• 53:48
  Speaker 2: I'd sometimes work and then go to the go go
• 53:52
  Speaker 2: to the gym and go like sit somewhere and write
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: and ship. Yeah, you don't want to be gross, but
• 53:57
  Speaker 2: also showering at the gym's gross. Anyway, that was a
• 54:00
  Speaker 2: weird way to end this episode.
• 54:01
  Speaker 5: Yeah, Happy Christmas, everybody, but we have ended it that way.
• 54:06
  Speaker 3: Nonetheless, Happy Christmas can go fuck itself, say merry or nothing,
• 54:10
  Speaker 3: you know.
• 54:10
  Speaker 2: I just I love it for that one.
• 54:11
  Speaker 5: Harry Potters, Happy Christmas are Oh yeah, I think Christmas ruin.
• 54:15
  Speaker 4: That's pretty delightful.
• 54:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I rescind my remarks.
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: I like a good uh happy Chris Picks. Anyone fucking
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: with that cereal? No, I don't know if they make
• 54:25
  Speaker 2: it anymore. It was like corn Checks but a little better.
• 54:28
  Speaker 3: There's a Sour Patch Kids cereal coming out and Tom's
• 54:30
  Speaker 3: favorite thing to do with Tom Goss's favorite thing to
• 54:32
  Speaker 3: do in the world is kid high and need Tower
• 54:33
  Speaker 3: Patch Kids so he's like waiting for the cereal to
• 54:35
  Speaker 3: come out, like it's a new Xbox.
• 54:38
  Speaker 2: It's gonna be at all the Walmart.
• 54:39
  Speaker 3: So the twenty six we gotta go. Would you take me?
• 54:41
  Speaker 2: I want to eat it in the car.
• 54:42
  Speaker 3: I'm bringing my own milk.
• 54:43
  Speaker 2: Should I go two percent?
• 54:45
  Speaker 3: Ale? Let's go home? I want to treat And I'm like, Tom,
• 54:47
  Speaker 3: this is gonna taste like a bowl of Kindergartener puke.
• 54:50
  Speaker 3: Like it's gonna be the a sour cereal is gonna
• 54:52
  Speaker 3: suck so bad.
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: Man tastes like the milk is spoiled already. Yeah. Yeah,
• 54:58
  Speaker 2: So this episode is coming out on the fourteenth of February,
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: So what do we have to plug?
• 55:05
  Speaker 4: The fourteenth of February?
• 55:06
  Speaker 2: Uh, you know what I meant? December?
• 55:08
  Speaker 6: Okay, Jesus good to say Valentine's Day, we're doing Christmas.
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: Wow, that would have been This episode comes out December
• 55:17
  Speaker 2: fourteenth edit break. Yeah, what do we have to plug
• 55:22
  Speaker 2: before we get out of here? There's a live un
• 55:24
  Speaker 2: Pops podcast and New Year's Eve party December twenty ninth.
• 55:29
  Speaker 2: Oh for Hollywood Hotel. We haven't decided what we're doing
• 55:33
  Speaker 2: for it. We'll figure that out. Or by the time
• 55:35
  Speaker 2: this goes up, it will have been figured out. So
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: check our Twitter. Yeah you tell us about that, Yeah
• 55:41
  Speaker 2: you should. We'll have you on the show if you
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: want to do it. Sure, yeah, yay, counters on it
• 55:45
  Speaker 2: and Caitlin cut We have confirmed her also, so it's
• 55:48
  Speaker 2: gonna be a strong line up. And also patreon dot
• 55:54
  Speaker 2: com slash on Pops sign up and get bonus con
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: bone Con.
• 55:58
  Speaker 3: Bone Con Bone, which I actually moderated a panel for
• 56:02
  Speaker 3: this year at bone Con.
• 56:05
  Speaker 5: Everyone was adjusting, Yeah, seating very very conspicuously.
• 56:10
  Speaker 3: Well, if you want to see me, I'm I'm at
• 56:12
  Speaker 3: the Wreck Room in Huntington Beach on December twenty first,
• 56:15
  Speaker 3: co headlining with Keith Carey.
• 56:16
  Speaker 4: That'll be a lot of fun.
• 56:17
  Speaker 3: And then the twenty eighth and twenty ninth I'm doing
• 56:20
  Speaker 3: the Windsor Comedy Festival somewhere in Canada. I forget what city,
• 56:24
  Speaker 3: but I'm flying into Detroit and then driving up so
• 56:26
  Speaker 3: if that helps you narrow it down if you want
• 56:28
  Speaker 3: to come see me in Canada. And then the next
• 56:30
  Speaker 3: week I'm at Laughs Unlimited in sack and the week
• 56:33
  Speaker 3: after that I'm at the Madhouse in San Diego in January.
• 56:35
  Speaker 3: So if you're if you're any of those places of Sacktown,
• 56:38
  Speaker 3: San Diego, come say hi. I will hang out with
• 56:40
  Speaker 3: you if you'd send me a DM and let me
• 56:42
  Speaker 3: know you're gonna be there.
• 56:43
  Speaker 2: Is Windsor Ontario, I think so.
• 56:45
  Speaker 4: I think it is Ontario. Yeah, so that'll be cool.
• 56:48
  Speaker 5: Nice And if you want to follow my podcast, it's
• 56:51
  Speaker 5: called the Late Night Podcast with Stuart and Luke. It's
• 56:53
  Speaker 5: we have our live talk show the last Saturday of
• 56:56
  Speaker 5: every month at the Improv Lab. So go to the
• 56:58
  Speaker 5: On Pops New Year's Eve party and then stop by
• 57:00
  Speaker 5: the Late Night Show at eleven pm at the Hollywood
• 57:03
  Speaker 5: Improv that's at the l eight Night Show.
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: On Twitter and.
• 57:07
  Speaker 3: Instagram, I hear those shows are super fun.
• 57:09
  Speaker 5: It's been great, man, it's been We had we had
• 57:11
  Speaker 5: a good show a couple few days ago.
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 57:14
  Speaker 3: You guys have good chemistry because you you just have
• 57:16
  Speaker 3: perfect posture. And Luke is just like a cantank or
• 57:19
  Speaker 3: a shithead, you know. And that's the best dynamic. That's
• 57:21
  Speaker 3: the oldest fucking dynamic. And Kyle it's fuck, it's wonderful.
• 57:24
  Speaker 2: It's fun. Yeah. I try to run on a show
• 57:26
  Speaker 2: and Luke interrupts. It's so.
• 57:28
  Speaker 5: But yeah, if you want to see me live, I'll
• 57:31
  Speaker 5: be I have a couple Bay Area stops. I'm gonna
• 57:34
  Speaker 5: be at the Punchline Comedy Club in San Francisco the
• 57:38
  Speaker 5: thirteenth through the fifteenth, so this will be coming out
• 57:40
  Speaker 5: right when I'm up in San Francisco. Also be at
• 57:42
  Speaker 5: the Throckmorton Theater.
• 57:43
  Speaker 3: Make sure you bring some some newspapers to put on
• 57:45
  Speaker 3: on the puddles of hobo piss you'll have to wade
• 57:47
  Speaker 3: through to get to the club. Yes, but it is
• 57:50
  Speaker 3: a great, great room for comedy.
• 57:51
  Speaker 2: Yes it is.
• 57:52
  Speaker 5: Also be the Throckmorton Theater in Mill Valley and at
• 57:55
  Speaker 5: SF Sketch Fest on January.
• 57:58
  Speaker 2: I believe it's in the twentieth and the twenty first.
• 58:02
  Speaker 3: Also, if you're the guy who scratched my rental car
• 58:05
  Speaker 3: when I did the throck Morton a year and a
• 58:07
  Speaker 3: half ago and cost me one hundred thousand dollars on trow,
• 58:10
  Speaker 3: suck my dick. If you're out there and you're listening,
• 58:12
  Speaker 3: you go to hell. Yeah, go see Stuart through.
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: It's a good se Yeah. December eighteenth at eight pm.
• 58:17
  Speaker 2: All right, let's get out of here. Stewart say goodbye,
• 58:20
  Speaker 2: bye y'all. Connor say goodbye, Fuck Christmas, goodbye everybody. We
• 58:24
  Speaker 2: love you.
• 58:30
  Speaker 5: People you're trying to sell, sure,