Latest / feel your feelings with Ethan Jewell / how to find true happiness

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how to find true happiness · feel your feelings with Ethan Jewell

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  When I think about finding happiness, I think about being
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  20 years old and so depressed. And I knew that I had to find a
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  way out of that depression. And if I didn't find a way out,
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  if I didn't find happiness, I would find my own way out.
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  And I knew I couldn't do that. I couldn't do that to my dog.
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  I couldn't do that to my family. So I started searching for
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  happiness anywhere and everywhere that I could look.
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  I started looking for it in plane tickets and in big cities
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  and new experiences in in bigger and bigger achievements.
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  But all I found was emptiness. I would find beauty everywhere
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  else, but I couldn't find it within me.
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  And that's when I came to terms with a really unfortunate truth.
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  Happiness is not in plane tickets.
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  It's not in new experiences. It's not in big cities or big
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  achievements, it's within you. My name is Ethan Jewell and
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  welcome back to Feel Your Feelings.
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  Thank you so much for joining me today.
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  I'm going to be reflecting a little bit on my own personal
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  journey, trying to find happiness, looking absolutely
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  everywhere. How I still look for it today,
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  but instead I look for it with a new perspective.
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  And that perspective is the fact, and it's a very
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  unfortunate truth. The happiness is already within
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  you. And until you find it within
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  yourself, you will not find it anywhere else.
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  You won't find it in other people.
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  You won't find it in in flashy achievements, in money, in the
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  things and experiences. Until you find it within
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  yourself, you will keep searching and searching and
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  searching. So there's a lot of common
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  beliefs when it comes to happiness.
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  You know, it's like, I'll be happy when I have more money.
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  I'll be happy when I travel. I, I just need to find the right
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  person, the right city, the right job, and then I'll be
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  happy. You know, culture pushes this
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  narrative. Social media and advertisements
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  and hustle culture tell us that we always need more.
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  You know you need to travel while you're in your 20s to find
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  your happiness. You need to get your big job in
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  your 20s to find your happiness. You need to find the love of
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  your life while you're young to achieve happiness.
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  Happiness is viewed as something to obtain, as something to get.
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  You're not enough as you are, so you need to find this happiness.
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  That's just not the case. These things can bring moments
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  of joy. Yes, I'm not saying that
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  external achievements and people and things are bad, the
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  opposite. But if that's where you're
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  trying to find happiness, you'll fall short.
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  So I set out to heal myself from outward causes.
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  I want to share my own story with that.
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  I remember being 20 years old, so depressed.
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  I was so depressed. I felt like I I wasn't going
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  anywhere. I was just upset all the time.
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  So I set out. I said I am going to find
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  happiness this year. So I started looking and I
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  booked a Grand Tour of the United States.
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  Some of you might know I make music.
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  So I, I started booking shows left and right and I planned out
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  this awesome tour to go and, and play all, all of my favorite
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  cities and, and stop in national parks on the way.
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  And I was going to get out and I was going to find my happiness.
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  I was going to find it on hiking trails in national parks.
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  I was going to find it playing music.
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  I was going to find it in these big cities.
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  I was going to get happy. While on tour.
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  I traveled coast to coast with one of my best friends, playing
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  music, living the dream. I mean genuinely, I can't think
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  of anything better than that. And yet I I I found myself
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  arriving at national parks after playing shows for weeks.
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  I would look out at a beautiful view, I would watch a beautiful
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  sunset, and I would feel emptiness.
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  I always felt like there was supposed to be more.
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  I kept searching, but I wasn't finding anything because I
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  wasn't looking inside. I was.
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  I was so busy. My eyes were always on the
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  horizon. My eyes were always on what's
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  next. My eyes were always on the next
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  sunset. I was so busy trying to find
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  that next good thing that I wasn't focused on the now with
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  myself. I was so focused on trying to
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  find that happiness, trying to find that that peace within my
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  mental health, that I didn't realize it was within me
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  already. And I know it's cheesy, I know
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  it's cliche, but it's the truth. If you keep searching out there,
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  you're going to lose track of what's inside.
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  So finally, I had to go home. I had to face that silence.
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  And face it, I did. Oh my goodness.
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  I I didn't find happiness out there.
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  I didn't find happiness in national parks.
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  I didn't find it in big cities. I didn't find it on road trips.
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  And suddenly I was back home and I was alone and I was still so
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  depressed. And in those moments of quiet,
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  in those moments of solitude is where I started to do the actual
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  work. And that is what you have to do.
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  You have to have moments of peace, moments by yourself,
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  moments where you face that loneliness, where you face that,
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  that sadness, whatever is rotting inside.
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  You have to have moments where you face those feelings and you
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  understand that you have the power to heal within you.
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  So I started taking time to myself.
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  I started to journal, I started to go on walks, I started to eat
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  better. I started to talk about my
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  feelings. You know, I've been to therapy
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  extensively. I kept creating art to get those
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  emotions out. I leaned on friends, I talked to
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  them, I created support groups. And I started to feel better
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  'cause there was nothing to find out there.
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  It was already here. I just had to create systems
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  and, and, and, and create a place where I could heal, where
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  I could sit with my feelings and heal.
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  And that's a difficult yet powerful realization to make,
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  something all of us have to realize in order to heal.
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  The healing happens during those quiet moments.
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  It doesn't happen in grand moments.
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  It doesn't happen while you're out looking for that happiness
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  and that healing. When you're looking for it, when
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  you're out searching, you're so busy that you can't have those
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  quiet moments to heal, that you can't look inwards, that you
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  can't take time to heal your heart.
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  I mean, if you broke your leg, would you keep running?
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  Would you keep running as fast as you can towards some goal
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  that you're not quite sure? Or would?
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  Or would you rest? Would you rest your leg and let
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  it heal in the same way when you're struggling with your
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  mental health, are you going to keep pushing forward and and
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  looking for bigger and greater things, waiting for that grand
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  moment that you're going to heal magically and suddenly?
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  Or are you going to sit and rest and feel your feelings?
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  There is no grand moment and I'm sorry, there's no magical Eureka
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  and you know, suddenly you're better.
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  No, it takes time and it takes time within those quiet moments.
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  You see, inner happiness is sustainable.
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  It isn't based on circumstance. Like all of those external
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  things. Yes, they can bring you
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  momentary happiness. I'm not going to deny the fact
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  that experiences and people and everything out there is.
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  Those are amazing things, don't get me wrong, and they will
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  bring you a temporary place of happiness.
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  But when all the noise fades down and you're back by
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  yourself, you're going to get hit with those same feelings.
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  So finding that happiness within yourself, it's sustainable, it
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  helps you cope with tough times better, it helps you hold on
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  until the next thing, it allows you to enjoy the present moment
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  rather than constantly chasing the next thing.
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  So use self compassion, reach out to professionals, get get,
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  get therapy, journal, meditate, help shift your mindset.
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  So I invite you to reflect with me.
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  Then I ask you these three questions.
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  Are you chasing something external in hopes that it will
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  make you happy? My next question is, what would
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  it look like to find joy and stillness?
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  What would that look like for you?
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  And my final question is, when was the last time that you felt
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  joy and peace, not because of what was happening around you,
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  but because of what was happening within you?
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  So I challenge you, stop looking for happiness everywhere else.
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  And I don't mean to cut yourself off from the world.
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  I don't mean to stop experiencing things, but I mean
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  to take quiet moments to sit with your feelings, to feel
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  them, and to create a safe space for you to heal.
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  By doing that, you become more familiar with your feelings, you
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  become more aware of your feelings, and you become more
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  aware of what you need to grow. You can travel the world, chase
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  every dream, and still feel lost, but if you learn how to
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  come home to yourself, that's where true happiness begins.
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  Thank you so much for joining me on this episode of Feel Your
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  Feelings. If you need help feeling your
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  feelings, you should check out my music on all platforms under
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  the name of Ethan Jewell. I almost guarantee it'll make
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  you cry. Also, you should shoot me a
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  message on my Instagram at Jewel Boy with an I under score and
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  let me know what you thought about today's episode.
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  So thank you so much for feeling your feelings with me.
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  Thank you for being here. Thank you for understanding that
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  outward and external happiness, yes, can bring momentary
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  satisfaction. But to truly heal and to truly
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  find joy, you have to look with him.
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  And as always, thank you for feeling your feelings.
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  I'll see you next time.