Latest / Man In Your Corner with Shaun Tucker / Ep. 28 | Overcoming Failure and Dad Guilt: Building Mental Fitness as a Founder Dad
Transcript
- Shaun: How many times do you have to start over before you succeed? If you can't see the camera, I'm holding a medal. This is 75 hard. And if you know what that is, it's a mental toughness challenge designed by Andy Frisella. The I share that, and this is episode number 28 of the reset with me Shaun Tucker. The reason I share that with you is it took me 10 attempts to complete 75 heart. 10 attempts. Some attempts were shorter, some of them were almost there. One of the attempts, I made it to day 63. And I failed because I forgot to take a photo. I was too damn tired to take a photo and fell asleep. too damn tired to remember to take a photo. And I went to bed. Another time I made it to day 54, I followed my diet 100 % until... We arrived at my brother's wedding and I asked for all the dietary preferences. I made sure that it was very catered towards the plan, the diet that I was following. But the sheer amount, the volume of food was... It left me hungry. And before I knew it, my hand had reached out to grab an extra brownie. Because yes, I could eat sweets on this diet. As long as it was gluten free. I reached out and grabbed this brownie. This gluten free brownie. Before I knew it, I had already started chewing it and half swallowed it. and that brought me to failure number I think it was number 6 or 7 by that time there were other times where I just honestly probably the first one or two or maybe even three times after failing the one where I made it to day 63 because that was early on. I almost couldn't be bothered but I was still doing it so I was kind of like half in it I wasn't all in it and because I couldn't really be bothered I got to like day seven on my car bugger this and I kind of just let it slip and I let that failure happen But the reason why I share this with you today is because it took me 10 times to actually complete it properly to the level of integrity that I want to hold in myself. The level of alignment, the things that are important to me. If I set myself a mission, a goal, I want to attain it. I want to achieve it. Because then it gives me permission to seek something better, bigger. more in alignment with maybe what I want. And yes, you could argue, maybe I should have quit, maybe I should have stopped trying after attempt number three or two. But that's not me. That's not my personality. That's not my... That's not where my character comes from. My character comes from being built through hard things and doing them no matter what. And this has probably been the biggest challenge. me because I'm so... reluctant to stop trying. So in business, you're probably someone who is still hustling hard but not seeing results. In fitness, you're trying your best to show up every damn day and do just a little bit and you're still not seeing results. When will the results come? When will you be able to check that box off and say that I did it? It's not my job to tell you when that will happen. But I guess the question underneath it all is what is it that you desire? What is it that you really want? Because for me, I saw 75 Heart as a challenge to bring out the best in me. To bring out... the part of myself I know that I can be. So instead of playing small, I decided to play a different game. A game that really tested me and challenged me to the point where either I break down or I break through. And as you can tell, those nine attempts before the tenth, I broke down. I conked out. But I didn't stop trying. And so today, look in your life. I invite you to look at the things that are happening in your life, whether it's fitness, whether it's relationships, whether it's business. whether it's feeling motivated to wake up in the morning or not. And just take a step back for a second. Ask yourself is it really what you want? Because I shared a couple of days ago. about the moment that I had when I was trying to work on my business and trying to be present as a dad. in the moment to moment awareness, it's not, you can't do it. You can't have two phone calls going on at the same time. Unless one is call waiting, you know, and you answer the other one. Because having too many inputs that are coming in make it really hard to be clear about what direction you want to go from there, what decisions you can make. And I think the overwhelm comes from having too many inputs. And so it's really important to look at your life in that way because if you're taking fitness advice from 20 people online and you're trying to digest it all and understand it all, most of the ideas, most of the beliefs might contradict each other. Not to say that they're wrong, but what works for you is probably going to be something that allows you to be consistent, allows you to implement it over a longer period of time. Because consistency shows results. It's not about having the perfect plan, it's about having a plan that you can actually follow. And having a plan that doesn't go to plan is usually the best plan you can follow. So maybe just reflect back today. Ask yourself in your... ability to be a dad and be present. Am I really present with my kids when I come home from work or when I see my kids? Or am I worried about something else that's going on in my life? Am I worried about where my next clients are coming from? Am I worried about, I didn't get my workout in so I'm actually not feeling energized? Or I didn't really sleep well last night so I can't really be present with my kids and I can't. And know, them having fun and that kind of thing. If that's you. Just notice where that tension, where that friction's coming from. What's happening outside of us is just a mirror of what's happening inside of us. And if we're feeling the pressure, it's not the outside that's making the pressure, it's us making the pressure on ourselves. What is out of alignment? That's the question you should ask. What is out of alignment and how can I feel safe to know what it is and how can I be more relaxed? in finding the solution or letting the solution come to me most of the time we don't need to force it is fun to push it's fun to really push yourself but if it does eventually burn yourself out is it worth it to the point where maybe you don't feel like the same you like you used to you don't You don't get the same endorphins, the good feelings. It's just turned into a discipline that isn't fun for you anymore. That sounds like a disaster. How can you make it fun again? How can you enjoy the process of being the best dad, being the best leader, being the best version of yourself again? Because when you... Allow yourself to really enjoy the process, which ironically yesterday I mentioned about that toxic mentor that I had. One of his favorite sayings was just fall in love with the process. You're not falling in love with the process. And so I'm taking that from him because it's not where originally I heard it from. And I actually understand it now. Because I embody it. I love who I am becoming. So if you found today's episode helpful and of value, I encourage you to share it with one person today. That's how we grow organically. And if you haven't heard, we run free in-person workouts, 6 a.m. in Mulgrave. If you live in Southeast Melbourne, come along to the workouts. This is for dads only. And we go for coffees and chats afterwards. So come along. And yeah, thanks for tuning in. I'll see you in tomorrow's episode.